Welcome Back!

The trees on Prospect Street are starting to change color. The NSO horde has descended upon campus, tasked with welcoming over a thousand new students. Jack the Bulldog is on his way home from a restful summer vacation in Turks & Caicos.

In other words, the start of a new school year is here.

View into a typical apartment/dorm room the night before classes start.

We’ve been away for a while, so 4E has placed several investigative journalists on the scene to inform you, our readers, about the current state of life at Georgetown.

1.  Late Night Leo’s is back. This reporter got eyes on a top-secret Dining Committee meeting in which, praise be, it was confirmed that Leo’s will be both extending its evening hours AND its daily breakfast hours. Things are really looking up. How to take advantage of this upgrade: take your significant other on a romantic date in the sensual ambiance of post-9pm O’Donovan’s on the Waterfront.

You back on your “Eat, Pray, Leo’s” bulls***.

2. Senseless construction projects continue to reign supreme. This reporter has gathered several receipts on the noisy, bothersome operations that disrupt the usually mediocre idyllic standard of life at Georgetown. From the Hospital Pavilion to the perplexing gated area in front of Regents, prepare yourselves for a year of getting woken up early by drill sounds.

“A Quiet Place” but the monsters are construction workers disturbing your drunken slumber.

3. Coming Soon: Big Mouth Season 2. 4E’s favorite Hoyalumni, John Mulaney and Nick Kroll, have been killing it with their stand-up specials, Broadway shows and overall hilariousness. The former GU Improv duo made puberty the ~butt~ of many jokes with Netflix’s Big Mouth. Lucky for us, more is supposedly coming our way this fall. Be sure to binge watch instead of studying for midterms. Its what John and Nick would have wanted.

Freshmen using their fakes at Opera for the first time.

4. Rats. They’re everywhere. Returning students are generally desensitized to the presence of rodents on campus, but it feels like they’ve come back with a vengeance this year. This reporter was personally victimized by several SCREECHING critters on the way back from LXR last night. Just throwing it out there—there’s no shame in taking a SafeRide from ICC to Vil A to avoid them.

Walking out of Lau at 2 am like…

5. LIL DICKY is coming to town. Not ~technically~ a Georgetown-specific event, but if you haven’t bought tickets yet for his November 6th show, GET THEM NOW. I’m totally not writing this so I can DM him and tell him that I personally sold tickets on his behalf, causing him to fall in love and have beautiful Jewish babies with me.

 

Honorary AEPi member

6. Kirstjen Nielsen. While most of us were topping off our tans and drinking vodka lemonades, this Georgetown grad spent her summer separating families and interning children in “tender-age facilities.” I can’t *smh* enough about the work of Kirstjen and her fellow #guilty alum, Mr. Paul Manafort.

What is tax fraud anyway, though?

7. Midterms! I’m not talking about the ones that give you a temporary ulcer and make you question the purpose of higher education. DC is about to be torn apart in a storm of political divisiveness, so hurry up and get yourselves Hillternships ASAP so you can watch it happen. Caveat emptor: you have to actually vote in order to participate.

Oprah for the House, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson for the Senate.

8. You’re still playing yourself. Georgetown may be one of the top schools in the country, but even great intellect can’t stop smart people from doing stupid things. Locking yourself out of your room for the third time in three days really makes you question the teachers who told you to dream big back in high school. Here’s to a year full of dumb mistakes…

You can always drink away the embarrassment.

Best of luck everyone! Hoya Saxa.

 

Sources: giphy.com, theanthemdc.com,

8 Underrated Animated Characters

With everyone talking about the premiere of Incredibles 2, I can’t help but wonder if it’ll beat the iconic original film. Edna Mode’s quirky yet relatable character? The memorable yet slightly overused line: “Where’s my super suit?!” Samuel L. Jackson in cartoon form? Need I say more?

Yet despite the hype of the upcoming sequel, the original Incredibles has been slept on. For 14 years. With this in mind, here are some more ~fabulous~ animated characters who have also failed to gain the recognition they deserve:

1. Kronk (Emperor’s New Groove)

Who doesn’t appreciate this friendly giant, who not only PULLS THE LEVER, but also can cook some delicious spinach puffs and fondue. Though he is a loyal evil assistant, let’s not forget the little devil and angel that appear on Kronk’s shoulders every time he faces a moral dilemma. Or his ability to communicate with animals (specifically squirrels).

Fun Fact: There’s apparently a show dedicated to Kronk called “Kronk’s New Groove”. Although I’ve never watched it, I’m glad the TV community is paying respect to the real star.

2. Shego (Kim Possible)

If you didn’t have a childhood crush on this super villain, you’re lying. Hot-tempered, sarcastic, and slightly offensive, she’s not much different than the typical SFS student who is accused of having a ‘light’ core curriculum. In addition, Shego is voiced by Nicole Sullivan, who not only was in Meet the Robinsons, but also came in second place on the show Worst Cooks in America: Celebrity Edition.

3. Gill (Finding Nemo)

Leader of the Tank Gang, Gill seems intimidating at first, but you soon come to love his integrity and the sacrifices he makes for Nemo. Also Gill means “mucus” in Polish. #TheMoreYouKnow #BilingualReaccsOnly

4. David (Lilo & Stitch)

As Nani once wrote in her diary, David not only has fancy hair, but also has a nice butt. He supports Nani despite being friendzoned multiple times AND is an amazing surfer– what more could you possibly want in a modern Disney prince?

5. Danny Phantom (Danny Phantom)

Black hair and blue eyes. Need I say more?

6. DW (Arthur)

By far, the most SAVAGE character in animated history, and she doesn’t even know how to read yet. Probably one of the most annoying sisters I’ve ever witnessed, I can’t help but laugh at all the Arthur memes that have starred her in the past year. Did you know the voice of D.W. is actually a boy? Actually, boys plural (6 male actors alternated voicing Arthur’s little sister).

7. Mushu (Mulan)

Who can forget his intro where he just magically arises from the ground in a cloud of red glittery smoke? Personally, I don’t think Mulan would be the icon she is without Mushu’s help; after all, he made her breakfast before her training session and was the best personal cheerleader of all time. Also, he’s a little lizard with fire powers. That’s pretty cool.

8. Chip Skylark (Fairly OddParents)

How can someone who sings about dental hygiene be so universally loved? 10-year-old me and current 19-year old me lives for his single gold piercing and ~swaggy~ dance moves. Let’s not forget that Chip Skylark is also secretly poor and a super humble guy. Not exactly your typical MSBro.

Alas, these are only a few of the animated characters who have long deserved the clout that has mistakenly been given to overrated characters like the Minions from Despicable Me (why are there THREE movies about them?) or the snowman from Frozen.

The members of 4E highly suggest you watch Incredibles 2, that is, if you want to stay ~cinematically cultured~.

Sources: giphy.com, youtube.com

What Should You Binge-Watch Next?

This time of year, we all get a little burnt out. Take it from someone who has been binge watching reruns of How to Get Away with Murder since August. Netflix is more than a streaming service, it’s a lifestyle choice. Sometimes however, opening the Netflix home page to millions of choices just seems too overwhelming for the stressed-out sleep-deprived college student. Even worse, in a few months Netflix plans to get rid of ratings on its shows! So today, we present you with the definitive 4E Guide to Netflix Binge-Watching. We know. Grab a jar of Nutella and a spoon and thank us later.

Stranger Things 

Rating: 5 hours more of procrastination on that PST paper

A borderline-schizophrenic mother, creepy background music from the 80’s, and aliens (I still don’t know) dominate this genuinely weird show. I have no idea why this is as entertaining as it is, but somehow it just works. Also the cast is woke so you can feel good about watching it.

Santa Clarita Diet

Rating: Three human hearts and a leg.

In this Netflix original, Drew Barrymore is a vampire/zombie/otherwise-undead being that teams up with her husband to kill and eat practically everyone who annoys them. This show also includes inordinate quantities of vomit and lots of references to Medieval Serbia. Not for the easily queasy.

Black Mirror

Rating: Too problematic

This series of unrelated episodes is intellectually mind-boggling in its most intense form. This show has everything: time-traveling lesbians, a urinating bank robber, the Prime Minister of the U.K. having sex with a pig (although I’m not sure that one isn’t real…*cough cough David Cameron cough cough*), and more. Try watching more than two episodes in a row and not doubting everything you know and love.

Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events

Rating: One burned-down mansion, three genius children and an evil actor

Neil Patrick Harris? Need I say more?

Seriously, this Netflix original puts its movie, and even the books it was based on, to shame. Beautifully whimsical sets are filled with surprise after surprise, each more depressing than the last. Metaphor, allegory and wit abound in a show that casts children as geniuses and adults as absurdly inept.

The show’s theme song tells you not to watch it, that the show is too depressing and nothing good will come from it.

I would agree you shouldn’t watch it, but for a different reason–you won’t get out of bed until you’ve watched the entire first season.

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt

Rating: 5 mole women

Produced by Tina Fey and some of her colleagues from 30 Rock, Kimmy Schmidt is a hilariously self-aware satire of pop culture. Everything from the stupidity of reality TV to discussion of race relations falls in the writers’ scope, which usually provides lots of laughs while delivering biting criticisms of modern society à la Colbert.

A warning for my friends and family: Don’t expect to see me May 19th, the day the third season of Kimmy Schmidt comes out. I won’t leave my room for food or water and I probably won’t even get up to go to the bathroom until I’ve finished all the episodes.

Photos/gifs: giphy.com, thepennyhoarder.com

Things Worth Loving This Valentine’s Day

Down with capitalistic consumer culture that tells us that showering in materialism one day a year is a necessary approach to demonstrating our care for a significant other! Down with societal expectations that promote monogamy, heteronormativity and tacky, giant, useless teddy bears bound for eventual landfill!

Why just celebrate one person one day a year when you are surrounded by people and things worth loving every day, all of the time?!

Here’s 4E’s take on things that are truly worthy of love and celebration this Valentine’s Day:

Epi’s salad bar

DeGioia’s smile

Healy Lawn

The Office

Bathroom Stall Art

Peets!

70 degree weather in February

Tinder

Free cake samples at Dog Tag Bakery

GUPD officers who smile

Arrupe’s study spaces

Arrupe being called Arrupe

NPR Politics

Leo’s vegan options

Yates midday

The Law Center GUTS bus

Lau’s free feminine product dispenser

Super Bowl commercials that promote unity

A friend’s baby photos

Your grandparents

Bitmojis

Peanut butter

The Smithsonian Museum of African American History and Culture

Lau’s book request system

Research grants

Sunshine

Fluffy dogs

Naps

Big dogs

Netflix

Little dogs

Booeymonger

Rumchata

If you’re still reading this and feel as though your qualms for the holiday have not subsided, here’s a list of things you might not love, but nonetheless could make you more grateful today for the things that you do love.

Here are things to also love today:

Donald Trump’s twitter

Expired groceries

The patriarchy

Systematic inequality

Georgetown’s rising tuition

Racial disparities

Antisemitism

Being ghosted

Canada Goose jackets

People who walk slowly

Read receipts

Saxanet

Poor customer service

Class with your ex

Classism

Corp coffee

Splitting the check

Partisanship

The Metro

Weekly assignments

Rejection

2k17’s lack of snow days

Gifs: giphy.com

Friday Fixat10ns: Songs To Nap To This Weekend

Friday Fixat10ns

Having one of those weeks where all you want to do is take a nap? Well, you are in luck because here at 4E we have come up with the perfect soundtrack to listen to (or sleep to) while you catch up on those Zzs. If you fall asleep before this playlist ends, we did our job.

  1.  “In Your Atmosphere” – John Mayer: Didn’t get that dream internship in L.A.? Neither did John Mayer it seems. Let the soothing sounds of John Mayer sing you to sleep as you contemplate the fear of living at home for yet another summer with your family.
  2. “Like Real People Do”- Hozier: Learn to nap like real people do with awesome sound tracks like this one. Listening to Hozier’s mellow sound will send you into a hypnotizing sleep, the kind of 8 hours a night sleep that “real people” are supposed to get.
  3. “Landslide”- Fleetwood Mac: Georgetown is stressful, with so many clubs, classes and other activities, it can seem like a landslide of work is constantly pilling up. Listen to this song to get away from your worries, if only for an afternoon nap.
  4. Stop this Train”- John Mayer: Yet another shining example of why I consider John Mayer to be the mayor (haha get it) of nap time. Drift off to sleep while contemplating growing old and all the stress that comes with it.
  5. “Clean”- Taylor Swift: This song may be inspired by Taylor’s breakup with One Directioner Harry Styles, but it can also be applied to your soon-to-be breakup with your high GPA. Listening to this song will give you a sense of peace and make you feel “clean” inside and out.
  6. “I Want to Write You a Song”- One Direction: Speaking of Harry Styles, here is a super cute 1D song that is perfect for dozing off. Bonus points if you end up dreaming about writing a song with 1D.
  7. “Cherry Wine”- Hozier: What could be better than wine and napping? That’s right, listening to this Hozier song about wine while napping. If you listen closely, it almost sounds like Hozier himself is getting a little sleepy just singing.
  8. “Hate to See Your Heart Break”- Hayley & Joy Williams:  Your heart will break if you don’t listen to this one. It has some low notes and some high points, but most importantly it will rock you to sleep like the lullaby you wish your mom could have sung to you.
  9. “Autumn Leaves”-Ed Sheeran: Yes, I know, it is technically spring right now, but it has been so cold lately that it is practically autumn again. This Ed Sheeran bonus track might be one of my favorite nappy time songs, it is just so sweet and sleepy.
  10. “I’ll Be Good”- Jaymes Young: Ah yes, what I tell myself every Friday night. I’ll be good this weekend, I’ll wake up before 11, I’ll do my homework, I’ll work out. Instead of actually doing any of those thing, just listen to this song and you will be filled with a sense that you actually did something good.

Well, there you have it! 4E’s perfect playlist to nap to this weekend! So don’t start working on all of those huge final research papers, take a nap instead.

Gifs: giphy.com

Music: http://8tracks.com/

11 New Years Resolutions We’ve Already Broken

Banner - Broken Resolutions

“New year, new me.” We’ve all heard it; hopefully none of us says it (because, lame). Some of us make New Year’s Resolutions, most of which are some variation of “get my crap together.” Here are some you’ve definitely already broken:

Watch Less Netflix
But New Girl is coming back (and it’s with Megan Fox). And there’s another season of Parks and Recreation. And there might be a new season of Arrested Development.

Get Eight Hours of Sleep Every Night
Your first Netflix binge undid this one quite quickly.

Exercise Everyday
Like, sure, but it’s 19 degrees and the gym is a seven-minute walk from my dorm.

Quit Gossiping
But your ex’s new bae is a major downgrade and your former best friend got rejected from her dream job. Grab a roommate, a bottle and some glasses and get chatting.

Drink Less Alcohol
“You don’t need alcohol to have fun.” You also don’t need running shoes to run, but it really helps.

Drink More Water
Hydration is important, but champagne is cheap, coffee is caffeinated and wine is social.

Be Less Stressed
With 5 classes, internships, job applications, social obligations, best friends, rivals, family…it’s impossible. Keep stalking your ex-boyfriend’s Facebook page and try again next year.

Stop Twerking
Lets face it: you probably broke this one moments after you toasted in the New Year.

Quit Judging People
You helped your friends break this one the second you started twerking at the New Year’s party.

Spend More Time With Family
“How are your classes?” “Are you seeing someone?” “What are you doing after graduation?” Lol, bye.

Spend Less Time Online
You’re reading this. You lose.

Resolutions don’t help, and you’re probably already great anyway. If you have any resolutions still standing, best of luck achieving them, Hoyas!

Photo: youtechassociates.com, giphy.com

101 Thankful Things

thanksgiving-youtube

Gratitude is always important, but we recently celebrated an entire day dedicated to it. And there are lots of things to love: turkeys, colorful leaves, family…the usual.

We at 4E have compiled a list of 101 things that Georgetown students are and should always be grateful for:

  1. That one time my professor tore into that know-it-all when she said wrong things
  2. Professors who ignore the instructional continuity policy
  3. Roommates who don’t suck
  4. The Instagram “gufreshmendoingthings”
  5. Inattentive student guards
  6. Free food
  7. Free t-shirts
  8. Student discounts
  9. Getting a table in lau
  10. Leaving lau
  11. Not having to go to lau
  12. Club Lau
  13. The really nice security guard in lau who doesn’t judge me for always leaving lau really late
  14. Netflix
  15. Netflix and chill
  16. What happens after Netflix and chill
  17. Being featured in Georgetown’s Instagram
  18. The girl who lends me a chair from her table so that I can put my feet up
  19. Dogs
  20. Let me say that again: dogs
  21. T Sweets
  22. Christmas lights
  23. The “share location indefinitely” feature on the iPhone
  24. Brown house
  25. Slutty brownies
  26. Friends who distract you via text message while you’re in a boring class
  27. Georgetown basketball
  28. Professors who are chill
  29. Professors who care
  30. Free Chipotle
  31. When the guy at Chipotle doesn’t remind me that the guacamole costs extra
  32. Guacamole
  33. Beyonce
  34. Friends who make you food
  35. Friends who actually return the stuff they “borrow”
  36. When the pasta line at Leo’s isn’t eight miles long
  37. The “doge” meme
  38. First dates
  39. Second dates
  40. What even is a third date?
  41. Brunch
  42. Drunk brunch
  43. Not throwing up at drunk brunch
  44. The friend that patted my back after throwing up at drunk brunch
  45. Tequila
  46. The Harbin security guard that let me back in without a GoCard when I left the building in my pajamas to pick up the Mai Thai I had ordered for the fourth time that week
  47. Happy hour(s)
  48. Nutella
  49. When the Metro is on time
  50. When the GUTS bus is on time #rare
  51. Finding your wallet and purse safe and your phone fully charged despite not knowing how you got home
  52. Losing your phone and having someone you don’t know find it in their freezer
  53. Awkward times in class when you are placed in a group project with a Tinder match
  54. Cancelled classes
  55. Todd Olson
  56. Jack DeGioia
  57. When the other person cancels plans first so you don’t have to
  58. Sweetgreen
  59. The bread at Sweetgreen
  60. Parks and Recreation
  61. Donald Trump’s hairspray
  62. When the professor forgets to pass around the attendance sheet the day you skip
  63. Heely’s
  64. Hoverboards
  65. Friends with free MSB printing
  66. Kylie Jenner’s Snapchat stories
  67. When your Safeway order shows up on time
  68. When they don’t include rotten avocados in your Safeway order
  69. The one crazy dude who carries on class discussions in Problem of God
  70. Georgetown sunsets
  71. When randos let you pet their dogs
  72. 2000’s era Cartoon Network/Disney/Teen Nick channels
  73. 4E (duh)
  74. Ducking autocorrect
  75. Double stuffed Oreos
  76. When your favorite elliptical/treadmill/bike at Yates is free
  77. The fact that in New York they actually put cream cheese on your bagel
  78. The Lau geo-tag
  79. People who studied abroad but don’t start every sentence with, “When I was studying abroad…”
  80. When you see a former hookup but you look super hot
  81. Chick Fil A not having E. coli
  82. The smoothies at Leo’s brunch
  83. Yahoo answers
  84. When somehow ace a pop quiz without doing the reading
  85. The kid who dropped a dish in Leo’s last week and it shattered
  86. DFMOs
  87. Group texts
  88. When you put your music on shuffle and all of the songs you like come on
  89. Professors who don’t give a sit-down final
  90. When the Corp’s coffee isn’t burned
  91. The new athletic facility that we all get to use #loljk
  92. The cops who didn’t arrest me when I threw my fake ID at them
  93. Social justice Facebook posters
  94. When random organizations give out free food and you pretend to be interested just for the candy
  95. Rumchata
  96. #Jesuits
  97. Intramural battle ship
  98. Epi’s lax refill policy
  99. Epi’s quesadillas
  100. Drunk Epi
  101. Epi

And just for fun, here are the few things we are not thankful for:

  1. Epi buffet prices
  2. Group texts
  3. Georgetown basketball
  4. Kylie Jenner’s ability to inspire an entire generation
  5. The cops who arrested my friend for using his fake at Towne
  6. The guy tapping his foot really loudly in the cubicle next to me in Lau
  7. The new GUTS routes
  8. The thin Oreos

Happy Thanksgiving, Hoyas!

Photos/Gifs: reelseo.com

Dreams Do Come True: Gilmore Girls is Back

18-gilmore-girls

We all know and love Gilmore Girls. I mean, if you didn’t grow up thinking you were either “totally a Lorelei” or “such a Rory” then I don’t understand your life. Go home and stop lying.

giphy

Very recently we have learned that Gilmore Girls is making a comeback, on Netflix. There really is a god. This reunion will include four 90-minute episodes, the original cast (YES, EMILY GILMORE FOR THE WIN) and the return of series creator Amy Sherman-Palladino.

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As a major fan, I am beyond ecstatic. The coffee, the humor, THE FAMILY LOVE. Ugh, can’t you just feel the excitement brewing.

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Sadly, the late Edward Herrmann will not be reprising as Richard Gilmore. No one can replace him and his Yale wit. He will be missed.

Even Madeline Albright is beyond excited about this event!

If you actually haven’t seen the show, email your teacher for an extension on your paper, pick up a pint a Ben & Jerry’s and four cups of coffee and go spend some quality time with your new bestie, Netflix.

lorelai-coffee-cynicism-gilmore-girls-6515

 

Get ready for the reunion of the century.

Information: http://tvline.com/2015/10/19/gilmore-girls-revival-netflix-new-episodes/

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com; celebuzz.com; buzzfeed.com; tumblr.com; nymag.com

The Five Weirdest Documentaries You Have To See To Believe

people-watching-tvIt’s that time of the year again. As the weather slowly but surely gets colder, all we really want to do is stay in on the weekends and binge watch our favorite shows on Netflix. While the traditionally popular series are always a safe bet, try a documentary out. Not documentaries about something cool, but really weird documentaries. There are a lot of them.

i love tv so much

We at 4E have done all the dirty work and have uncovered five unforgettable, award-winning and bizarre documentaries. Grab some popcorn and enjoy!

  1. The Act of Killing (Watch on HBO): Two of Indonesia’s most prolific gangsters masterminded an extermination of around a million suspected communists during a military coup in the 1960s. This documentary seeks to recap their reign of terror and is directed in part by the gangsters themselves. What makes this a must-see (and really strange) is the fact that it is mostly reenactments of murders by the killers themselves, giving the viewer a first-hand view. This brings a whole new meaning to the saying “Nobody was harmed in the making of this film.”
  2. The Imposter (Watch on Netflix): When a 13 year old boy disappears from Texas, he suddenly reappears in southern Spain three and a half years later. Something is fishy here. In fact, it’s really a 23 year old French man, who is then able to fool the real boy’s family (and international authorities) for almost five months and assume the identity of a 16 year old American. The Imposter presents a terribly eerie story with many unexpected turns.kristen wiig mustache surprised
  3.  The Final Member (Watch on Netflix): Thanks to the isolation of their country and culture, Icelanders are often misunderstood. So, too, is Siggi Hjartarson, the founder and curator of the Icelandic Phallological Museum (Read: a private collection of private parts). Only one thing is missing from Siggi’s collection: a human specimen. Watch The Final Member to find out if Siggi can secure a human donation and to learn more about his strange passion for all things phallus.
  4. Tales from the Organ Trade (Watch on HBO): A slightly different take on organ collection, this one is actually really enlightening. But don’t fret: it’s still very strange and creepy. Tales from the Organ Trade tracks the black market trade of human organs, from donors in peripheral countries to organ brokers who buy their organs to the people willing to pay insane amounts of money for a new kidney. It provides an in-depth look at a hidden trade that spans the entire globe. Definitely a must-see!
  5. The Source Family (Watch on Netflix): A seemingly normal married restaurateur turns into the leader of a psychedelic jam band polygamist cult. The Source Family details the life of cult leader Father Yod and his merry band of fourteen wives living in a Hollywood mansion. Watch to find out how the cult grew to around 150 people at its peak and discover the cause of its eventual demise.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, photobucket.com, optimism.com

So, You Want to Netflix & Chill?

hfliljdkzvxldfyupzwnWith a new crop of students roaming the Hilltop comes a new set of questions to be answered. At 4E, we’ve already received numerous emails asking questions like:

“How can I avoid the freshman 15?” It’s unavoidable.

and

“How do I do laundry?” Honestly who knows, just call your mom.

However, seeing as how the answers to such problems could easily be looked up on Google, we haven’t felt compelled to grace these young Hoyas with our words of wisdom. That is, until we received the following email:

Hey 4E,

I’m really in need of your help. I saw some of your posts a while back where you gave pretty solid advice, and I’m so desperate I thought I’d give this a shot. I’m emailing you now because I’m having some major guy problems. I mean, I haven’t had this much drama since since my prom date Jason saw me DFMO with Kyle on the dance floor to “Love Story”. But, like, can I live?

So, about two weeks ago I met this really cute upperclassman guy at a totally exclusive party. He’s an athlete, and I think he plays football or like some sport where you throw things. Anyway, we ended up hanging out all night and I got to tell him all about my hopes and dreams for college. It was just sooo refreshing to talk to such mature guy about mature things, totally not like conversations with my high school boyfriend. Then, before I went back to New South, he said “Emma, can I get your number?” And I was like “sure,” even though my name’s actually Becca. But like, they both end in “A” so he probably just misheard me, right?

Now this guy has been texting nonstop for the past two weeks. He’ll usually text me some time between 2 a.m. and 3 a.m., which is kind of late but it’s nice to know that he’s thinking of me! Most of the time he’ll just text me things like “yo” or “sup,” but that’s enough for me to know that he’s totally into me. Sometimes I respond with really long texts about my day or what I ate at Leo’s, but he usually doesn’t respond to those. I figure he’s probably fallen asleep because he has practice early in the morning.

Anyway, last night he changed things up with his texts and at 2:32 a.m. texted me “Netflix and chill?” I was so confused at first, like what does his text mean? Why does he want to watch a movie so late?? Is this a date??? 4E, please help me! I just really need to know what his text means.

Becca in New South

Dear Becca,

We’re glad you decided to reach out to us at 4E, because we’ve definitely got a lot of advising to do for your situation.

First off, we definitely agree that this super cute upperclassman guy must be into you. As for the instance of him calling you Emma rather than Becca, he definitely didn’t mishear you. While some people call their significant others “babe” or “bae,” he opted to think outside of the box by calling you Emma. Think of it as a compliment, you only spent a few hours telling him your hopes and dreams before you scored that pet name! If that’s not love, then I don’t know what is.

As for his late night texts, don’t worry about how late he’s sending them. Guys in college spend a lot of time doing homework, and are known to pull all-nighters when their professors assign a lot of optional reading for class. If anything, you should be flattered by the fact that you’re the first thing he thinks about when he’s done with all of his assignments! The fact that he’s also able to formulate such coherent thoughts as “yo” or “sup” after a full night of hitting the books is also commendable.

Now, in regards to his most recent text, you should know that this is in fact his way of not only asking you on a date but also asking you to be his girlfriend. You don’t want to Netflix and chill with just anyone, it’s just way too personal! I mean think about it, would you really be comfortable with anyone apart from your significant other seeing all those Disney movies and weird documentaries in your “recently watched” section? Yeah, we didn’t think so. Our best advice is to text him back ASAP, set up a convenient time to Netflix and chill and find the longest movie possible. (Note: We recommend anything by Nicholas Sparks.)

Much Love,

4E

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, gizmodo.com