7 Memes That Describe Yates

It’s that time of year again. Midterms are hitting hard, and one of the few ways Hoyas can compensate for late nights and hair-pulling study sessions is food. Greasy, delicious food. But after exams end and Late-Night Dominos Regret (LNDR™) kicks in, where does one turn?

For most NARPs, Yates Field House is the place where dignity and self-respect body insecurities go to die. For better or worse, here are some memes that describe the distinct pleasure known as working out at Yates:

1. Why? (WHY?!)

If you’ve felt an obligation to visit Georgetown’s finest plebeian fitness center (see #6), good for you. You are a health-conscious and tuition-paying (i.e. breathing) member of the Georgetown community! Whereas at most institutions of higher education students get to choose whether to belong to a gym, we Hoyas have that decision made for us by good old ~cura personalis~.(Side Note: Does this mean that if I gain the Freshman Fifteen I can get my money back?)

2.  Getting There

As if we didn’t have enough sets of stairs to deal with (see: Leavey, WGR, Lau, etc.), the stairs on the way to our gym are basically a 90-degree angle. If you make it over these steps, congratulations! The battle is already won. Be sure to let us know what it’s like on the other side.

Pro Tip: A really great way to get your workout in is by forgetting all of your things (water bottle, keys, headphones, etc.) in your dorm and running up the Yates steps every time before turning around and going back for more.

3. The Debauchery Dilemma

We at 4E are familiar with debauchery. As world-class bloggers, an “excessive indulgence in sensual pleasures” is essential to our craft. Like many Hoyas, we struggle with that classic Saturday or Sunday morning (or whenever #youdoyou) question: to work out, or not to work out?

4. Motivation

Sometimes you just have to take the E for effort. Unlike everything else in our lives, we Hoyas are not bound by any standards when it comes to physical fitness (unless, of course, you are a ~varsity~ athlete). Thus, “workouts” at Yates are often consolidated with procrastination/free time, and end up looking a little something like this:

5. The Best People You Will Ever Meet

We Hoyas are a talented bunch. Many of us demonstrated both academic and athletic excellence in high school, and probably wrote a generic, yet moving story for our application about overcoming a sports injury that somehow earned us admission to a top college. Well, friends, high school is over!

Your athletic trophies are getting dusty, and it’s time to face the music: You are just like everyone elseFeel free to continue wearing your old lax jersey while getting #swole with your boys, but just know that we actually don’t care.

6. Georgetown Doesn’t Favor Athl–

When stepping onto campus this fall, many of you probably wondered, “What is that beautiful castle new building on the other side of Southwest Quad?” Now, there have been rumors that it’s a ~Georgetown-Athletics-Only~ gym, but according to inside sources, here’s the actual story – the John R. Thompson Jr. Intercollegiate Athletic Center is actually a warehouse-sized laboratory where coaches raise athletes from birth to win NCAA championships. For protocol on how to greet these wondrous students should they ever grace Yates with their presence, see here.

7. #hoyaspartysmart

Hoyas like to keep fit. When special events roll around, we don’t just drop our self-care responsibilities and let ourselves go. Come Homecoming and Georgetown Day, you can find us (in the immortal words of Fergie) “up in the gym, working on [our] fitness.”

Girl, you tasty. But maybe bring some water with you too, just in case.

Just remember: Hate On Yates Always! Go Hoyas!

Photos/Gifs/Content: giphy.com, dictionary.com, facebook.com (georgetown memes for non-conforming jesuit teens)

4E’s Declassified Freshman Survival Guide: How To Not Seem Like A Freshman

So you’re a freshman, huh? Big fish in a little pond? Think again, young Hoya.

A visual representation of you as a freshman

Being a freshman at Georgetown isn’t always the easiest. On a campus where your worth is sometimes measured by GPA and the clubs you are or aren’t a part of, you may sometimes have trouble keeping your head above water.

Lucky for you, though: The Fourth Edition is here to help! We’ve compiled a list of the ~best~ tips to help you avoid looking like that typical lanyard-wearing freshman on campus. Take a look:

    1. Don’t wear your lanyard. If you’re able to make it to Georgetown, this hopefully goes without saying. It’s totally OK to have your key on your lanyard in your pocket, but please don’t wear it around your neck. I wouldn’t be saying this if I didn’t actually see it.
    2. Ask “Who do YOU know here?” This just may be the most common saying at Georgetown. Essentially, its 10:34 p.m. on a Friday night, and after cramming into New South 215 for a pregame of epic proportions, you and your freshman squad roll up to a Village A apartment that seems like its pretty awesome. Unfortunately, you can’t seem to locate the friend-of-a-friend’s-brother that said he would let you in to the party, so you get asked “Who do you know here?” Turn it around and ask the question back to them. It’s never been done. If that doesn’t get you in, just give up.
    3. Know your memes. If you want to really learn about something, textbooks just don’t cut it. Knowing the memes are necessary. This means joining Georgetown’s one-and-only meme page on Facebook. Don’t have a Facebook? Don’t even. Take a look at an one of the page’s more notable posts:
    4. Know the terminology. Memes aren’t enough, since Georgetown has its own lingo. If you learn it early, you should have no problem navigating around campus. You’ll even increase your chances of getting into a party and may not get lost in the ICC coming from HFSC after when you’re studying for a BSFS in IPEC in the SFS! If all of these acronyms are foreign to you, for a not-so-complete list of some of the key terms you should use flashcards to memorize before the fall semester arrives, check here.
    5. Do get lost in the ICC. It may sound strange, but this is sort of a tradition, so much so that even as a senior having had a class every semester but one in the ICC, I still manage to turn the wrong way or get lost in this perplexing building every time I (attempt) to enter or exit, and I can confidently say I am not alone. Getting lost in the ICC is a tradition Georgetown students celebrate from the moment they get on campus till the day they graduate, so why not start early?
    6. Sit by yourself in Leo’s. As an upperclassman, I can say that there is nothing worse than the food at when our beloved dining hall is clogged with swarms of freshmen taking up every chair so the entire floor can eat together. You probably won’t end up talking to any of these people anyways in just a few short weeks, so why don’t you try something new, and sit by yourself? Upperclassman won’t be able to immediately identify you as part of that flock of freshman from VCW 6.
      Your entire floor does NOT need to eat together
    7. Do not stand in front of Village A rooftops between the hours of 9 p.m. and 11 p.m. on Thursday through Saturday. Perhaps the most identifiable freshman breeding ground, this locale is nothing but trouble for any upperclassman that happens to pass through. My memory of this area is characterized by several things: salmon shorts, GUPD, vomit, squashed cans of Natural Light and swarms of awkward freshman. Don’t associate yourself with this memory. Stand elsewhere when you’re looking for something to do.
    8. Don’t sit on the statue. Georgetown was founded to honor Leo O’Donovan with a waterfront restaurant for the pursuit of knowledge, not the pursuit of your Snapchat stories. The lighting is never just right for a photo on old John Carroll’s lap, so don’t even waste your time. Plus, getting up there is harder than it looks, so especially in the wee hours of the night, it is just never a good idea.

Granted, these tips won’t work for everyone. On a more serious note, if you’re still struggling with something, chances are, there is someone to help you with that! Take a look at some of the resources Georgetown has to offer.

Catch 4E’s latest student tips in next week’s edition of 4E Declassified Freshman Survival Guide!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, facebook.com, nick.com

What to Do on GAAP Weekend: Prospective Student Edition

Dear Class of 2021, and so on and so forth,

WELCOME to the Hilltop. D.C. or, as both the cool kids and the geotag call it, “the District,”  is breathtakingly beautiful and the Georgetown bubble (aka my happy place) is nestled in a cozy corner of this vibrant and inspiring city. Home to an ambitious and driven student body, professors for whom one is willing to spend hours studying on Lau 4 and one well-loved bulldog, Georgetown is well worth visiting. Sign up to have a Blue and Gray tour guide escort you along patios strewn with empty beer cans the Vil A rooftops and point out where Bill Clinton lived in Harbin Hall, before he left communal bathrooms and his cluster for a marginally-more-upscale White House residence. Additionally, please make note of following important “Do’s and Don’ts” of visiting our campus.

Don’t try to join the meme page

Please don’t pretend that you’re a non-conforming Jesuit teen. Prep school has not prepared you for this type of meme mastery. One ~incredibly persuasive~ reason to attend this university and surround yourself with peers who also did quite well on the SAT, is the high caliber of meme quality that you will find here. However, seeing as you don’t go here (yet), you probably won’t be able to fully appreciate our self-deprecating jokes. Additionally, by bemoaning the state of Leo’s, Lau and the basketball program, the meme page fails to highlight the many things that make Georgetown so wonderful, and we don’t want you to get the wrong impression.

Don’t disrespect Leo’s

What are the odds that Leo’s will look like the Hogwarts’ Great Hall after the remodel? (unfortunately slim..)

To the hordes of red-sweatshirt clad minions getting WAY too excited about the weird ice cream flavors and groups of parents concernedly poking at salads, I don’t really understand why you are here. First of all, it’s O’Donovan’s by the Waterfront, to you. You are not allowed to poke fun at Leo’s mysterious lack of forks, soggy scrambled eggs, or constant abundance of gross Rum Raisin ice cream unless you have spent 14-18 meals a week in this fine establishment, and Kim Kim knows you by name. Second, while Georgetown is truly an incredible place, our on-campus dining options are not the reason that my future children’s first words will be “Hoya Saxa.”

Don’t brag about going to Georgetown “Frat Parties”

I would like to help you make the important distinction between a “frat party” and a party (or awkward, sweaty gathering) thrown by a frat in a cramped and dimly lit Henle apartment. I suppose I am powerless to stop you from putting a video of yourself singing along to Closer on your Snapchat story or taking a shot of Vanilla Burnett’s (Disclaimer: teen drinking is very bad, and also illegal). Just know that you’re not as cool as you think you are.

Do bask in the glory of Healy Hall

Does looking up at the Healy clock tower give you chills? Copley Lawn, peppered with Hoyas studying on blankets, throwing frisbees and laughing with their friends, feels so perfectly collegiate. The idyllic-ness of the hundreds of color-coordinated tulips gently swaying in the breeze by the front gates (almost) justifies the exorbitant cost of arranging such botanical displays. Can you resist taking a picture with John Carroll? Of course not. He is the GOAT, and you probably won’t get in if you don’t document meeting him (in statue form). Please note, this is not all too good to be true. I can assure you that one year later, when I am hammocking with my favorite people on the front lawn, it still feels just as magical.

A few additional points of clarification:

  • If you got the impression on your tour that The Corp rules this campus, this intuition is quite correct.
  • Jack the Bulldog and I are in an exclusive relationship. Take as many pictures with him as you would like, but he and I have already booked a date for our Dahlgren Chapel wedding.

Photos/gifs: msfs.georgetown.edu, giphy.com, facebook.com

10 Things I’d Rather Listen To Than 3 Doors Down

January 20th has come and gone, and Inauguration weekend has commenced. What does that mean? Only that 3 Doors Down has risen from the dead! If you don’t know who they are, don’t be surprised. You’ve probably spent your entire life unconsciously avoiding them, as one Twitter user explained. Their most famous song “Kryptonite” isn’t the worst, but honestly it probably belongs where I found it: middle school. At this point, I would almost rather do anything than jam to my middle school tunes, but the following situations made the top of the list.

  1. Listen to the basketball score from last Monday’s game on repeat.

I promise this is the most heartbreaking sound on here.

2. The Sound of My Own Voice

Have you ever heard your own pre-recorded voicemail? Count yourself lucky if you haven’t. It is one of the worst sounds you’ll ever hear, but I’d still prefer it to 3 Doors Down.

3. “Friday” by Rebecca Black

Honestly, this might have been a better choice because the Inauguration was on Friday. And in the wise words of Rebecca Black, “Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday/ Today it is Friday/ . . . We gonna have a ball today.” There was an Inauguration Ball Friday night, after all.

4. “Meme Machine” by Pink Guy

We’re now losing our favorite meme. At least this song can honor that. Also, it’s #5 in the Australian Top 50, so there’s that.

5. Paolo from The Lizzie McGuire Movie singing “What Dreams Are Made Of

SING TO ME, PAOLO.

6. “The Guacamole Song” by Dr. Jean

If you squint kinda hard and close one eye she almost resembles Hillary Clinton!! I would definitely listen to this horrific song over “Kryptonite” if I could see Dr. Jean perform it.

7. “Sweatshirt” by Jacob Sartorius

After listening to everyone under 13 blast this song at the pool this summer, I’m honestly tired of it. It’s pretty autotuned, but at least it’s kind of catchy.

8. “Let it Go

This song was great when it came out, but it is so overplayed that I honestly cannot hear it one more time. But when faced with the choice of 3 Doors Down or “Let It Go,” I’ll stand in the light of day and let the storm rage on. The song never bothered me anyways. (Side note: fun inauguration remix here)

9. Watch all of the Buzzfeed Unsolved videos alone AND in the dark

This is the scariest possible thing that I could think of.

10. “Amigas Cheetahs” by The Cheetah Girls

Honestly this song isn’t even a problem. I found it in my iTunes folder and it’s just beautiful. I would definitely go to the concert if they were there. 11/10 would recommend.

I hope that this gave you a laugh or at least gave you some ideas of what to listen to instead of 3 Doors Down!

Photos/gifs: giphy.com, genius.com

So, You Agree? You Think You’re Really Funny?

Screen Shot 2013-01-16 at 9.39.02 AMhipsterYou read the title of the post, and now you’re reading this because you do, in fact, think you are really funny. It’s fine. I would have done the same.

We’re all into inclusivity here at the Fourth Edition. This is a blog by students, for students. We want your contributions. Your humor. Your spark. We want you.

So, here’s the idea. Throughout the month of January, we’ll take photo submissions from you to be entered into a photo caption contest. The editors here at the Fourth Edition will pick our favorite photo, and for the month of February, you all will be able to email in caption submissions to BlogContests@thehoya.com The funniest five captions will be published with your first name and year for all of the world to see.

As much as using a pre-existing meme or of a baby and a fist is fun, we want to find something Georgetown — someone’s face (as long as you get their permission first … we don’t have an attorney for that kind of stuff), something on campus: You tell us. We will definitely have some fun with it. So scroll through dem iPhones and find us a gem. Soon enough, you can let your imagination run wild and reap the fame of submitting to, and potentially winning, a Fourth Edition contest.

Photo: Georgetown Hipster

THIS…IS…THE FOURTH EDITION!!!!

”Remember to read us.”

As simple an order as an editor can give.

“Remember why we write.”

For we do not do it for shiggles, nor self-gratification, nor for our resumes, nor valor. Our wish is simple.

“Remember to read us,” I say to you.

That is our hope, should any free soul come across our blog, in all the countless semesters yet to be.

May all our sassy voices whisper to you from the computer screen.

“Go tell the Hoyas, passerby, that here by 4E law, we write.”

 

This is the blog’s 300th post!!! We’d like to thank you, the lovely readers for the upwards of 80,000 views, and all of the writers on the staff for giving us their snark and wit. REMEMBER TO READ US!