The New Year’s Resolutions You Won’t Keep

It is that time of the year again. A time of new beginnings, new memories, new laughs, and, most importantly, new resolutions. With each new year comes a new set of promises we Hoyas make to ourselves to make this coming year even better than the last. The thing is, however, we know we probably will not keep them. Here are some New Year’s resolutions you probably made to yourself that you know won’t make it to 2018.

I am going to eat healthy and go to Yates every day.

You get home for Christmas break and weigh yourself for the first time since August. You subsequently endure the 5 Stages of Grief. You promise yourself to live a ~healthy lifestyle~ in the spring semester. Three weeks into January you find yourself sitting in front of a plate of chicken fingers on a Thursday with no recollection of the last time you made it to the gym but also with no ragrets.

“Ohana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind.”

I will not drink Natty Lite or Burnett’s. 

After spending some time at home and drinking some classy wine and craft beer with your family (if you are 21 of course) you decide you are just too good for Natty and Burnett’s. I mean, what are you, a peasant? But, when you return to the Hilltop and take a look at the balance in your bank account you remember that you are indeed a peasant and quickly return to everyone’s drink of choice–whatever is cheapest.

I will do the readings for all my classes.

You coasted through the fall semester without doing the majority of the readings for the majority of your classes convinced you were gonna ace the class only to find a not so pleasant surprise on your final grade report. You think, “I probably should have done all those readings,” and you promise yourself this semester will be different. That is until you have to read 300 pages for tomorrow and its 11 pm all you have accomplished is taking one buzzed quick to find out what character from The Office you are based on your zodiac sign.

I am going to spend less money. 

Last semester you spent a little more than you should have, but this semester that is going to change. Who needs to eat out when you have Leo’s? Who needs to Uber when you can walk? Who needs Corona when you can have Natty? Oh wait…you do.

In all honesty, 4E wishes you all the best with your New Year’s resolutions. Lord knows we all need it.

Photos/gifs: giphy.com

4E’s Favorite Leo’s Yelp Reviews

leos yelp reviewsEver since Georgetown announced its new plans for Leo O’Donovan dining hall, campus has been abuzz with excitement, anticipation and more than a few questions. Will lines be longer? How will Georgetown complete all of the renovations in just one summer? Who are those people in the model photos?

Whatever questions you may have, we here at 4E hope to help by compiling some of our favorite lines from the Leo’s Yelp page in support of the dining hall’s promising future.

Our first review comes from Lissa B., who in 2014 gave Leo’s one star, although like fellow Yelp-er, Rebecca, she wishes she “could give Leo’s 0 stars.” Lissa has more than a few complaints. She writes, “Most days after dinner I would get really horrible chest pains.” We’re sorry to hear that, Lissa!

Lissa also doesn’t fail to remind readers of Leo’s history of food poisoning: “Leo’s was responsible for poisoning a large amount of students in the fall of 2008… Unbelievable.”

Our next review comes from Andrea L. in 2015, who does not give a glowing recommendation. “Everything tastes like [poop]. Do not eat unless you’ve been starving for five weeks. DO NOT eat!!!!!” If you couldn’t tell by the 5 exclamation points, Andrea L. really does not want you to eat at Leo’s. Thanks for the pro-tip, Andrea.

Katia G. takes a more generous approach to her 2014 review, giving Leo’s 2 stars. She explains, “Two stars because I imagine prison is worse.” (Perhaps not, Katia G., as Aramark supplies food to prisons as well.) Katia does give a shout-out to the great Leo’s workers that 4E so greatly appreciates, saying that “The people who work here are adorable.” Katia’s review does end on a sour note, in which she describes the lower floor of Leo’s as “hell.”

Despite giving Leo’s a total of three stars, Hall W., a self-proclaimed college dining hall connoisseur of sorts, describes Leo’s as, “pretty terrible” in his 2016 review. In the review, Hall W. complains of long lines, “blah” food, and “flies floating in the drinking area.” Hall W. does however, provide a list of pros in his review, such as the “great view” and, of course, the “vast amount of ice cream options.”

Rebecca Y. begins her 2010 review with a similar approach to Katia G., as she writes: “If hell was on earth, Leo’s would be it. If hell had a gatekeeper, Anna at the Grab&Go station would be it.”

Rebecca goes on to give a lengthy 8 paragraph review rant about the quality of Leo’s food, which she tops off with the following remark: “Thank you so much, Leo’s, for failing health inspection every year, giving us norovirus and a host of other food-borne illnesses, robbing me of the nutrition and quality of food I need to get me through a tough day of classes/studying, and producing this nasty stench that clings to my clothes forever and ever.” There, there, Rebecca Y., we’re here for you.

Well, there you have it folks. If these Yelp reviews don’t make you excited for the new Leo’s, I don’t know what will.

Gifs/Reviews: giphy.com, https://www.yelp.com/biz/leo-j-o-donovan-dining-hall-washington-2 

Thanksgiving FAQs

thanksgiving faqsIf you’re anything like us, you’re probably #hyped to be heading home for Thanksgiving. This is the perfect time to sleep in, eat some home-cooked meals and try not to think about how you’ll be back to eating Pringles out of the vending machine on Lau 2 at 3 AM in a few weeks.

But most of all, Thanksgiving is the perfect time to catch up with your family. To make sure your dinner table conversations with your relatives go as smoothly as possible, we’ve prepared some helpful Do’s and Don’ts for answering those fun Thanksgiving FAQs:

1. “So, do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?”

Do: Laugh casually and say something along the lines of “I’m too focused on my schoolwork to have time for a girlfriend” as you try not to think about the fact that you’re supposed to submit an essay you haven’t started yet by midnight.

Don’t: Mention the guy you met on the Vil A rooftop on Halloween. Don’t mention the guy from that Henle party the weekend before either.

2. “How about that election?”

Do: Change the topic as quickly as humanly possible. “Grandma, have you seen these hilarious Joe Biden memes?”

Don’t: Ask your relatives who they voted for. There’s a good chance that those of you in Wisconsin, Michigan, and/or Pennsylvania won’t like their answer.

Don’t: Think about the next four years. Your crippling anxiety is sure to put a damper on dinner.

3. “Are you eating/sleeping well?”

Don’t: Mention that you ran out of Flex Dollars two weeks into the semester and have resorted to signing up for clubs that you have no interest in for the sole purpose of getting free pizza at their meetings.

Don’t: Draw attention to the fact that you’ve gained the Freshman 15 despite the fact that you’re a junior.

Do: Say “O’Donovan’s at the Waterfront is an enjoyable and delicious dining experience. I frequently eat things other than chicken fingers there.” and “The fourth floor of New South is a quiet and relaxing place to sleep. Our RA does a great job of enforcing the noise rules.”

4. “How are classes?”

Do: Throw around some complicated-sounding buzzwords you’ve picked up from your IR class. “Hegemonic stability theory” and “Neoliberalist perspective” are two of my personal favorites. This is a great way to reassure your parents that you’re actually learning things and your tuition is money well spent.

Don’t: Mention that you haven’t actually gone to IR lecture in weeks and you’re less than 60% sure of what your TA’s name is.

5. “What’s a Hoya?”

Don’t: Worry about the fact that it’s been three years and you still don’t have a good answer.

Do: Just say any random sentence that combines the words “Stonewall” “Latin” “Greek” “a long time ago” and “Jack the Bulldog”.

So there you have it: some simple Do’s and Don’ts to make sure your Thanksgiving is a great one. From all of us here at 4E, safe travels and Happy Thanksgiving!

Gifs: giphy.com

A Guide to Eating Alone at Leo’s

A guide to eating alone at leos

We’ve all been there. Nobody in the #squad group chat responds. You get a sudden hankering for Leo’s meat lover’s pizza that just can’t wait. It’s Chicken Finger Thursday and all your friends seem to have forgotten. Whatever the reason may be, nearly every Georgetown student has eaten at Leo’s alone at one point or another. 4E has already blogged about what may happen if you dine alone, but luckily for all you lonely souls out there, we have now composed the ultimate guide to help you survive this isolating experience.

1. Grab a table in the back

If you decide to brave a trip to Leo’s alone, make sure to grab a seat at a table near the back of the room that faces the window. This way you can avoid the judgmental, uncomfortable eye contact with that person from chemistry class you sorta know, but not well enough to sit down with them uninvited with all of his/her friends.

2. Look busy

Pull that phone, laptop, notebook, textbook, etc. out of your bag and make yourself look too busy and important to waste time socializing. Don’t have any homework to finish or friends to text? No problem. Pull up Microsoft paint or open up your notebook to a blank page and draw yourself a pretty picture to pass the time.

3. Pretend your friends are on the way

Feel like everyone thinks you have no friends? Grab an extra plate of food and place it at the seat across from you. Now everyone will think your friends are just using the bathroom or getting something more to eat. You sure fooled them.

Pro-tip: Reward yourself for your successful trickery by eating that extra plate of food at the end of your meal.

4. Pretend your friends are there with you

If you’re really feeling lonely, an easy solution is to bring cardboard cut outs of your friends, place them at seats around the table, and pretend as if nothing is different! Talk about your day, weekend plans, midterm stress, etc. because, after all…

So, the next time you make the trek to Leo’s alone and experience the irrational anxiety that comes from the nonexistent, judgmental looks of your more popular peers, keep in mind these handy dandy tips.

Images: giphy.com, http://bit.ly/2ebw8fR

An Ode to Leo’s Brunch

an ode to leos brunch

At 4E, Leo’s brunch has a special place in our hearts. So in honor of our love for this special occasion, here is an Ode to Leo’s Brunch.

A whistle blows outside the window,
Sun streams over my eyes.
Good God, is it noon already?
Well, I guess that’s no surprise.

The morning pat down commences.
iPhone, wallet, GoCard? I’m clear.
“Wait, this is Harbin 7, right?”
— Confirmed; roommates’ snores are near.

Roomie, we’ve gotta get up, I say;
Another Sunday has come to scare.
“I must go to Lau!” she cries suddenly!
I laugh and reply, “Don’t you dare.”

It’s time for brunch, I remind her,
Visions of tater tots dancing in my head.
“C’mon, the group chat’s blowing up!
Off to Leo’s; get out of bed!”

A familiar odor greets us,
as we saunter through O’Donovan’s door.
There’s that familiar look Suru gives us;
it screams “You look like you slept on the floor.”

Jeez, I just burped up Burnett’s, I lament;
cold water is what I need.
But the line for food reaches the staircase!
Patiently, we wait; it is our creed.

Scrambled eggs, pancakes, and tots! Oh my!
Surely we don’t deserve this feast.
The digits of my tuition bill pop into my brain;
seconds are necessary, at the very least.

The Sunday sermon commences, as Saturday night is sewn together.
“You did WHAT?” is the typical cry.
“No, I swear, check her Story. You can’t make this sh*t up.”
“Wait, I DEFINITELY know that guy!”

There are laughs, there are screams, there are guffaws about;
the muffled chair-scrapes signal plates refilled.
“Oh God, it’s 2:00,” one friend sighs to me,
And with that, the mood has been killed.

We decidedly tread home, successful troops;
mission accomplished without a doubt.
Reality hits, and sadly, we separate;
Off to Lau, my conscience shouts.

Another weekend, come and gone;
Monday looms; academics are near.
But at least we have Sunday Leo’s, and the friends who make it great;
until next time, lest other options appear.

Gifs: giphy.com, http://bit.ly/2e2oGEM

Overheard at Leo’s

Banner - Leos TalkAs Georgetown students, some of our greatest – and most of our worst – memories are made at Leo’s. Despite this, Leo’s remains the place where we don’t necessarily need to have a filter, and it shows. What are the raunchiest best things that we’ve heard in Leo’s this week?

  1. “I hope that we get on @couplesatleos today.”

giphy

2. “Are you pregnant? That does not look like a food baby.”

3. *Looks at salad bar* “Nah you’re right, I’m getting chicken fingers.”

4.  “I’m going to fail chem so please help me figure out how to become a professional wine taster.”

5. “The farthest I’ve ever gone is putting squash into this condom.”

6. “Well, the only con I can think of is that he reminds me of a serial killer, but you can’t have everything.”

7. *Finds really straight banana* “How much do you think people would pay me if I videoed myself eating this and put it on Craigslist?”

Stay classy, Leo’s. Always stay classy.

Photos/Gifs: tumblr.com, giphy.com

5 Ways to Recover from an Awkward Hook-up

5 ways to recover from an awkward hookup

It’s Sunday morning, and you’re still recovering. You start to remember the chaos that went down the night before, and your roommate notices that you’re just lying in bed, looking at the ceiling, and recalling everything. Thinking back, not good. Not good at all.

Yes. That’s correct. You did hookup with that random guy/girl you met at Vil A and no, you can’t remember the second-half of his/her name. All you know is that the night just went something like this:

The worst is yet to come. You’re on your way back from class, and you realize your paths cross. You’re now forced to see them every Wednesday. You pass them, wondering if you should say “Hi” or run the other away. You end up saying something like this:

Nice.

Don’t worry!!! 4E has created a guide to recovering from an awkward hookup (sort-of).

  1. You could do the original form of dealing with a previous hookup: Ignore each other. Spot him or her from a mile away and instantly start staring at your phone like every single person in the world suddenly hit you up. Or keep your head high and start walking like a boss.
  2. Or… you could pretend to be the best of friends. My favorite: Pretend it never happened. Say “Hi” so casually that they think you mistook them for someone else. There’s nothing as confusing as a nonchalant head-nod and a quick “Sup.” Be cool.
  3. You’re bound to see your hookup at Leo’s at one point or another. You want the Wok, but they are in line. There’s pasta. But like I’ve said, you really want Wok. Hey, here’s a thought! Why not grab a meal together? You could have some cringeworthy small-talk!4. This one’s a bold one. Friend them on Facebook. Yeah, I said it. Go through the trouble of looking up every “John” who attends Georgetown and has at least 2 mutual friends with you and friend them. If they accept it, then the awkwardness is a little lessened. You’re Facebook friends now. That means something. Just kidding, but maybe if you get to know each other, the awkwardness will become something better for the future. ;) If they don’t accept, time to cancel that request… and also never leave your dorm for the next three weeks.5. Last but not least, just be yourself. Smile, say “Hey”. Whether you plan to talk again or never at all, acknowledge each other when you see each other. It’s the decent thing to do.

Orrr you could just drunk text them the next weekend and do it all over again.

And that, folks, is how you recover from an awkward hookup.

Images: giphy.com

Bananas, Beauties, and Freshman Fails: Exploring Georgetown Via Instagram

Banner - Finstas

As most of you know (and if you don’t, crawl out from under your rock), Georgetown University has a large social media presence. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and more recently, Snapchat make up the various means by which Georgetown makes itself known on the Internet. School administrators and a few students run these accounts, but due to their overwhelming sense of idealism, Georgetown may appear to be a bit too welcoming. We may appear to be hard-to-swallow ~aggressively hospitable~.

Although these social media accounts are managed without flaw, many current students have a hard time admitting that they accurately portray what happens at our beloved school. Have no fear, 4E is here to give you the scoop! Over the last year, several masters of social media have started to portray Georgetown in a more down-to-earth way through the use of finstas, which I’m assuming most, if not all of you know to be fake Instagram accounts. The unnamed “saints” behind these accounts capture moments of Georgetown students’ lives as they happen, not as planned out beforehand. Some of the major accounts include @georgetowndimes, @hoyas_eatin_naners, @couplesatleos, and @gufreshmendointhings. These accounts specialize in Georgetown’s most attractive students, freshman fails, love on the hilltop, and quite literally, students devouring bananas. What a time to be alive!

In order to promote these accounts and thus make your life so much better, I have composed a brief, but ~comprehensive~ exposé on these accounts.

  1. @georgetowndimes– Dedicated to recognizing some of Georgetown’s most gorgeous students, this account currently stands at five posts, the first being released on April 18. Not to knock on the person(s) running the account, but I think that the account definitely needs some work. Only five posts in over two months? Come on now. Also, if you’re supposed to be featuring Georgetown’s best-looking students, shouldn’t there at least be more than five? We were voted as one of the colleges with the most attractive student body. On a more positive note, I do commend this account for what it does and its name. It has a ring to it that none of the others have. For those of you interested, here’s the account’s page.

    IMG_3409
    I know I’ve ripped on this account enough, but its ratio is atrocious.
  2. @hoyas_eatin_naners: Interestingly enough, this is actually the second Instagram account that follows bananas at Georgetown. The first, @georgetownbananas, started in September 2014 and its last post was in January 2015, with only nine posts in total. It has since been dormant. Disappointing? Yes. It may be too late to resurrect this account. Now, with @hoyas_eatin_naners, we’re in the big leagues. Setting the standard high with 59 posts in four months, this account is much more active than the one described above (probably the reason it has more followers). Its ratio, with 242 followers and 110 following, is much better than that of @georgetowndimes. The account’s bio? “Every day, hundreds of Leo’s namers lose their lives. These are their stories.” The reference to SVU alone is enough to make people ~go bananas~. Every situation you can think of, from accounting-exam-stress to dartying, involves a banana. The people who run this account (rumor has it they’re sophomores) are to be commended for the fact that they make a Hoya’s day by either featuring them and/or making them laugh.
  3. @couplesatleos– We all see them ~those couples~. They sit together at Leo’s and act like they’re so much better than the rest of us are so happy together.IMG_3405We also see those people who aren’t couples, but are sitting together so they might as well be. IMG_3404This account is dedicated to recording such instances and poking fun at them in a lighthearted manner. With 24 posts in just one month, this account had a strong start. The photos may be not as high-quality as those of @hoyas_eatin_naners, nor may it have a better ratio, but it’s up there with the banana-lover account in my book. It is following 583 other accounts but has 397 followers, thus beating all of the other Georgetown finstas. The plus to this account is that more people probably notice the couples that sit together at Leo’s, not the apparently large amount of bananas that are consumed each day (still a very important issue).
  4. @gufreshmendointhings– Last but not least, we have the account that draws attention to the ups and downs of a freshman’s life. Its ratio is close to that of the account described above, with 383 followers and 598 following. Its bio perfectly lays out what the account covers: “Photos in front of Healy Hall, making out on a Vil A rooftop, first Leo’s date? We see you”. From DFMOs to NSO, @gufreshmendointhings is there to record those moments when freshmen reveal how basic they truly are. IMG_3399Or it reveals how they do things that you don’t really see every day, such as someone brushing his/her teeth in a Lau bathroom.Screen Shot 2016-06-23 at 1.26.08 PMRegardless, this account brings us laughs and reminds us of things that either we or our friends did when we were freshmen. Some of the account’s posts cannot be pictured here for obvious reasons, but you get the idea.

Why should you follow these finstas? For one, some of their posts will brighten your day almost immediately (unless you’re featured in an embarrassing one). They also enable you to look further into Georgetown life, beyond those fake amazing videos that the administration posts via Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Finally, you should follow them to support your fellow Hoyas behind the accounts (some might just follow you back AND like your photos). The debate over which finsta is the best still continues, so let’s see if it can be settled once and for all.

Photos and gifs:  giphy.com, instagram.com, google.com, http://bit.ly/28QwQkm 

Attack Of The Doors: Part II

Banner - Bad DoorsI am about to write about something very important to me, something that should also be very important to you. I am giving the people what they want: another article about doors.

1. Leo’s Doors: WHY are they so hard to open? Sometimes, I am absolutely starving. All I want is my chipotle mayo from the panini press. Why do these horrible doors stand in my way? Maybe, there is someone else, going through the right set of doors, racing to the one swiper on duty. I’m hungry, I need to be there first, but I am milliseconds behind because of the doors on the left.

2. Reiss Doors: There is nothing inherently wrong with the doors themselves. However, it is not a double set of doors. Going into my giant philosophy lecture, standing in the Reiss foyer, I expect warmth and shelter. Instead, I find myself needing a Canada Goose, as, after all, they are made for the arctic tundra.

3. HFSC Doors: There is no rhyme or reason to these doors. Some days, you can use these doors for a shortcut through the student center. Other days, they are locked. There is no pattern. All it leads to is me looking dumb.

4. Business School Doors: Leaving the undergraduate commons, there is a handy exit leading outside. However, there is no contraption at the top to close the door after opening. Why? Must I slam this door? Sometimes people forget to close it, letting in the cold air. Now I have to get up out of my seat and close it myself. What is this heresy?

 

However, I don’t hate all doors on campus. I can do more than just complain. The Walsh doors, the ones that open automatically, are my absolute favorites.

 

Photos/Gifs: noblegroupwindows.com, dailydot.com, tumblr.com

50 Things Better Than Georgetown’s Housing System

Banner - HousingThe spirit of Georgetown is the best of any schools’ in the country. The housing? Not so much. It’s hard to go a day without hearing someone complaining about something related to housing. Most recent, the ire of many students was directed at the housing process for next year and the fact that rising sophomores were often excluded from Phase I selection, whereas many rising juniors and even some seniors found that they wouldn’t be able to live in their most desired places.

In honor of this tragedy and many others (including, but definitely not limited to: vermin infestations, dirty carpets, sub-par plumbing, outdated fixtures/appliances), here is 4E’s list of… 50 Things Better Than Georgetown’s Housing:

  1. Instructional continuity
  2. Leo’s coffee
  3. Losing your GoCard
  4. 8am classes

    class sleeping
    @everyone
  5. Hot Chick and Chicken Madness not winning the GUSA election
  6. GUTS bus delays
  7. The laundry rooms’ notoriously useless dryers
  8. Going to Epi on a Sunday night, only to realize it’s closed
  9. SaxaNet
  10. GuestNet
  11. Getting one out of five classes during preregistration
  12. Our basketball team this yearbasetball
  13. Getting rejected from every club
  14. The bathrooms in Reiss
  15. When people are talking obnoxiously on Lau 3
  16. Rhino closing
  17. Kehoe field
  18. Constructionconstruction
  19. Running out of meal swipes
  20. Having meal swipes (and having to use them on Georgetown’s food)
  21. JT III
  22. Brown House not being a thing next year
  23. Doing a survey and not winning the promised gift card
  24. Getting hurt by the curve
  25. Missing Bill Clinton’s speech because you have class
  26. TAs
  27. Sending a well-formatted email to your professor and getting a one word reply
  28. Getting rejected from the GAAP group
  29. That one kid who incessantly posts in the GAAP group
  30. The GAAP group
  31. LL Lau
  32. Getting stuck behind a tour
  33. Roommates who snore (in which case, try this)
  34. Lecture captures
  35. GoCard swiping machines not working
  36. RATS

    rats
    Not amused, personally
  37. Having a final on the last day of finals
  38. Georgetown Cupcakes lines
  39. When the professor shows up seconds before the class would have been cancelled
  40. Getting the snow day email after you’ve already gotten out of bed
  41. Having to give directions to a lost stranger on campus
  42. DC’s humidity in the summerdamn hot
  43. Trying to get a timely appointment at the Student Health Center
  44. The fact that we don’t have a metro stop
  45. Our NCAA appearance this year (lol)
  46. Hoverboards being banned on campus
  47. Class in Walsh and St. Mary’s back-to-back
  48. Seeing 38592740372 pictures of cherry blossoms on Instagram
  49. Being haunted
  50. Nothing

In other words, the only thing worse than the housing system, is the housing system itself. Here’s to another year in Henle.

Photos/Gifs: flickr.com, giphy.com