The Five Stages of Studying for Finals

Congratulations! You just finished classes for the spring semester. You’re feeling pretty relieved and successful. But now the real fun begins: FINALS. In case you’ve forgotten since December what this season feels like, here are the five stages of studying for finals.

  1. You look at the calendar. You have time. Papers aren’t due for a week, and you don’t have an exam tomorrow. You can relax a bit.
  2. ~Five minutes later~ you’re running to Lau, with every book you own stuffed in your backpack, trying to decide whether or not you have time to stop at Midnight, because you just realized how much work needs to go into not failing out  passing all the exams and papers you feel breathing down your neck.
  3. Day Four. No wait is it Day Three? Days no longer exist; just due dates. Morale is low. You just spent 2 hours procrastinating at Leo’s and it wasn’t even Chicken Finger Thursday. Next thing you know, you wind up in the middle of the stacks on Lau 5 without a cubicle or any progress on those three papers due in two days.
  4. Then suddenly, you hit your stride. One sentence after another appears in your Word document, decades of history are memorized like Kendrick’s new lyrics and you think maybe, just maybe, you’ll survive finals week and even do well pass.
  5. You show up to your final exam wearing whatever you slept in two nights ago, barely able to keep your eyes open and thinking you might not make it. But then you manage to stay awake for a whole two hours and finish your last final. You leave the ICC nearly in tears and contemplate falling asleep in the middle of Red Square. But who cares, you’re finished! Now all you have to do is pack.

Good luck, and may the odds be ever in your favor!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, nfo.georgetown.edu

The Stages of Losing Your GoCard

Who knew a tiny, ugly piece of plastic would mean so much to us? If you’re a Georgetown student, you’ve probably lost your GoCard before. And if you’re like me, you lose it almost every week. How do we cope? Well, the first step is knowing what you’re in for. If you’re not already familiar with the many feelings that come with losing that little card, here’s a reminder.

1. Denial

You lost it. Again. Again?! How did you lose it again? You’ve checked literally all the pockets of all your pants,  the entirety of your now-messier room and retraced your steps of the past few hours. It’s over. It’s gone. You can’t go to Leo’s, you can’t print, and you can’t get into your dorm without awkwardly waiting outside for a stranger to swipe you into the building. Great.

2. Anger

    It’s Day 3, and this whole losing your GoCard thing is ruining your life. You can’t do your laundry, and it might not be the best idea to ask your friend to borrow their GoCard for the 7th time.

3. Bargaining

    Here’s how you explain your situation to the swipe-in security officers: “Hi, I lost my GoCard. I’m sorry. I don’t — is that — okay? It might be upstairs, I don’t know. Okay great, yes, next time. I live here, I promise!”
    Here’s how they respond: They shrug, wave you along, maybe utter a soft “K” or “You’re fine…”

4. Depression

    Another day, another fruitless search for the GoCard. You’re sad. You’re confused. Do you keep looking for it? Do you even care at all?

5. Acceptance

Fine. It’s time for that trek up to the infamous GoCard office. You usually only go up to this location for late-night Epi runs, so this is new for you. But it’s time – it’s been time. You may be losing $25, but hey, at least you can try to get a better GoCard picture this time.

Photos/gifs: newstudent.thehoya.com, giphy.com

Health Code Violations Georgetown Students Have Ignored

We’ve heard the rumors. We’ve seen the health code signs. But for all our favorite Georgetown restaurants, students are very much willing to forgive and forget their health code violations. To commemorate our most notorious health code offenders, 4E has rounded up all our favorite food establishments and their health code violations! We also realistically understand you’ll read this article and then go grab a bite to eat. See you there!

1. Dean and DeLuca, 2017

Not the first time its been closed for rodent infestation. But then again who in Georgetown can escape the rodent infestation?

http://wjla.com/news/local/dc-dept-of-health-closes-dean-deluca-in-georgetown-due-to-reported-rodent-infestation

2. Sweetgreen, 2013

Closed for “six critical violations of food code regulations, including an inaccessible hand-washing sink, a broken refrigerator, fruit flies and an expired business license.” Rough.

http://www.thehoya.com/sweetgreen-reopens-after-food-code-violations/

3. Mai Thai, 2017

Closed for apparent “drainage issues in the kitchen during maintenance work,” and mold in the ice machines. But real question how does their food come so fast???

https://www.washingtonian.com/2017/02/10/mai-thai-in-georgetown-closed-by-the-dc-health-department/

4. Whole Foods, 2017

Closed for violating “the District of Columbia food code regulations, which presents an imminent health hazard to the public.” But the only real hazard to our health is Whole Foods prices.

http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/Glover-Park-Whole-Foods-Closed-for-Food-Code-Violations-413385753.html

5. Booeymongers, 2013

Closed for unclean food preparation, “mold on the ice machine and employees failing to use gloves during food preparation.” But let’s be honest: Most of us come for something that doesn’t need preparation and comes straight from a tap.

http://www.thehoya.com/after-2013-violations-local-eateries-adjust/

6. Wingos, 2012

Closed for violation of “improper holding temperatures, lack of proper date labels and improper food separation.” I mean, most of us eat Wingo’s at improper temperatures, with unknown dates, and no separation…it’s called the next morning.

http://www.thehoya.com/after-2013-violations-local-eateries-adjust/

7. Johnny Rockets, 2007

According to a health department report, health inspectors discovered “evidence of recent rodent activity,” including “gnawed hamburger buns.” The report said that improper disposal of trash and food debris had caused the rat infestation. The department closed the restaurant…” Maybe just get a milkshake?

http://www.thehoya.com/doh-shuts-down-johnny-rockets-for-health-violations/

8. Chipotle

I think we all ignored the Chipotle E. coli outbreak and we lined up for our burrito bowls the day they reopened. Just saying.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/to-your-health/wp/2015/11/02/chipotle-closes-43-restaurants-following-e-coli-outbreak/?utm_term=.ca6e3b1a7c89

9. Epicurean, 2009

Who knew our favorite late night eater was up to so much? I guess we were all a little too “busy” *cough* to notice. Here are Epi’s violations:

  • Food was not properly “segregated, separated, [or] protected.” At the sushi station, eggs were stored in a way where they might contaminate other foods.
  • The restaurant was cited for unclean and unsanitized food contact surfaces.
  • The restaurant’s food marking and disposal methods were cited.
  • Food and non-critical surfaces were not properly maintained. The restaurant was cited for improper “dishware washing sanitation, and frequency methods,” which includes silverware. The final rinse temperature of the dishwasher was not hot enough.
  • Hot and cold foods were stored at improper temperatures.
  • There was no consumer food advisory for raw or under-cooked food displayed at the sushi bar or on menus

https://blog.georgetownvoice.com/2010/03/15/epicurean-leos-tombs-and-bangkok-were-high-risk-violators-of-d-c-health-code-in-2009/

10. Leos, 2005, 2008, 2009, 2012

Are we even surprised?

http://www.thehoya.com/doh-hits-leos-with-seven-violations/

https://blog.georgetownvoice.com/2012/09/13/leos-health-inspection-reports-six-violations-third-level-risk-category/

Don’t worry we love you guys anyways!

images source: google images

What to Do on GAAP Weekend: Prospective Student Edition

Dear Class of 2021, and so on and so forth,

WELCOME to the Hilltop. D.C. or, as both the cool kids and the geotag call it, “the District,”  is breathtakingly beautiful and the Georgetown bubble (aka my happy place) is nestled in a cozy corner of this vibrant and inspiring city. Home to an ambitious and driven student body, professors for whom one is willing to spend hours studying on Lau 4 and one well-loved bulldog, Georgetown is well worth visiting. Sign up to have a Blue and Gray tour guide escort you along patios strewn with empty beer cans the Vil A rooftops and point out where Bill Clinton lived in Harbin Hall, before he left communal bathrooms and his cluster for a marginally-more-upscale White House residence. Additionally, please make note of following important “Do’s and Don’ts” of visiting our campus.

Don’t try to join the meme page

Please don’t pretend that you’re a non-conforming Jesuit teen. Prep school has not prepared you for this type of meme mastery. One ~incredibly persuasive~ reason to attend this university and surround yourself with peers who also did quite well on the SAT, is the high caliber of meme quality that you will find here. However, seeing as you don’t go here (yet), you probably won’t be able to fully appreciate our self-deprecating jokes. Additionally, by bemoaning the state of Leo’s, Lau and the basketball program, the meme page fails to highlight the many things that make Georgetown so wonderful, and we don’t want you to get the wrong impression.

Don’t disrespect Leo’s

What are the odds that Leo’s will look like the Hogwarts’ Great Hall after the remodel? (unfortunately slim..)

To the hordes of red-sweatshirt clad minions getting WAY too excited about the weird ice cream flavors and groups of parents concernedly poking at salads, I don’t really understand why you are here. First of all, it’s O’Donovan’s by the Waterfront, to you. You are not allowed to poke fun at Leo’s mysterious lack of forks, soggy scrambled eggs, or constant abundance of gross Rum Raisin ice cream unless you have spent 14-18 meals a week in this fine establishment, and Kim Kim knows you by name. Second, while Georgetown is truly an incredible place, our on-campus dining options are not the reason that my future children’s first words will be “Hoya Saxa.”

Don’t brag about going to Georgetown “Frat Parties”

I would like to help you make the important distinction between a “frat party” and a party (or awkward, sweaty gathering) thrown by a frat in a cramped and dimly lit Henle apartment. I suppose I am powerless to stop you from putting a video of yourself singing along to Closer on your Snapchat story or taking a shot of Vanilla Burnett’s (Disclaimer: teen drinking is very bad, and also illegal). Just know that you’re not as cool as you think you are.

Do bask in the glory of Healy Hall

Does looking up at the Healy clock tower give you chills? Copley Lawn, peppered with Hoyas studying on blankets, throwing frisbees and laughing with their friends, feels so perfectly collegiate. The idyllic-ness of the hundreds of color-coordinated tulips gently swaying in the breeze by the front gates (almost) justifies the exorbitant cost of arranging such botanical displays. Can you resist taking a picture with John Carroll? Of course not. He is the GOAT, and you probably won’t get in if you don’t document meeting him (in statue form). Please note, this is not all too good to be true. I can assure you that one year later, when I am hammocking with my favorite people on the front lawn, it still feels just as magical.

A few additional points of clarification:

  • If you got the impression on your tour that The Corp rules this campus, this intuition is quite correct.
  • Jack the Bulldog and I are in an exclusive relationship. Take as many pictures with him as you would like, but he and I have already booked a date for our Dahlgren Chapel wedding.

Photos/gifs: msfs.georgetown.edu, giphy.com, facebook.com

Georgetown Truth or Dares

On the weekend, Georgetown students face many different choices. To wake up for Leo’s brunch, or to forego food until 3 PM when Tapingo opens? To get homework done early on Saturday, or to leave it for Sunday? To go out, or to have a rousing night in with your ~ladies~?

If you decide to pick the latter, I would suggest a wild game of truth-or-dare. But why not take it a step further? Why not make it a game of Georgetown inspired truth or dare?

DARES

  1. Streak on Copley Lawn (we’re looking at you, Cait).
  2. Skinny dip in Dahlgren fountain.
  3. Steal Kim Kim’s panini press.
  4. Find a willing friend and make out with them on every floor of Lau.
  5. Go behind the Cosi counter and make your own meal to save yourself a two hour wait.

Truths

  1. Have you ever stolen something from Leo’s?
  2. Have you ever walked in on your roommate doing something awkward (i.e. lying naked on the bed singing, picking their nose, etc.)?
  3. Have you ever excessively complimented your professor in an effort to raise your grade (Problem of God is not as easy as people make it out to be…)?
  4. How many of your Flex Dollars go to late-night Epi quesadillas?
  5. Where is the most embarrassing/inconvenient place you have thrown up (I hear Walsh and White-Gravenor are not very accommodating)?

With Piano as a no-go and people getting too lazy to host parties what with mid-term season in full-swing, we at 4E hope this game of truth-or-dare can salvage your otherwise boring Friday night.

*Disclaimer: if you get caught doing any of these dares, we at 4E cannot be held responsible.

Photos/gifs: giphy.com, gaap.georgetown.edu

How to Prepare for Spring Break

Spring! Break! Spring! Break!

Maybe you love Georgetown more than life itself. Is your phone background a super original picture of Healy Hall? Did you finally learn the words to the fight song and now find too many opportunities to ask your friends what time it is? Has a majority of your wardrobe been purchased at the bookstore? Have you Instagram-ed a pic with the caption “37th and hOme”? Regardless of how much you bleed blue and gray, 4E bets you’re feeling a bit overdue for a break from the Hilltop.

Whether your plans for break include getting as burnt tan as possible, exercising those #JesuitValues and going on a service trip, or spending seven days straight in a bed that isn’t lofted and approximately three feet wide, here are some tips for how to prepare for the (hopefully not too wild) week ahead:

1. Email the professors who seem to have forgotten that Georgetown gives its students a spring break.

Pull up that angry email draft that you (hopefully don’t) have lying around waiting for your professor who plans on giving a midterm the Tuesday after spring break. While writing haikus about photosynthesis is DEFINITELY more important than providing medical services in Honduras, hopefully your professor will make an exception to extent the deadline just this once.

2. Make that last pilgrimage to Leo’s.

Realizing that you will be away from your beloved Leo O’Donovan’s for an entire week is almost making you have second thoughts about heading to Cancun with your girlfriends. Use all of your meal swipes this week to mitigate the understandable Leo’s separation anxiety that you’re having. Money not spent at Tombs this week is money spent on refreshing beverages (read: lemonade) next week.

3. Power Pose to bring your confidence to full beam!

Gwen Stefani GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

You haven’t been following a “nothing but cucumbers” diet? Leo’s vegan brownies are too good to pass up? You live in close proximity to ~8,000 other people and want to spare the Georgetown community from your hangry wrath? Spring break dieting (and dieting in general) is dumb? 4E is in FULL support of this line of thought. Some reminders: bikini + body = bikini body, beauty is within and your worth is wholly dependent on whether or not you have been featured on @hoyas_eatin_naners.

4. Wrangle all of your favorite, polyester triangles (triangls?)!

Will you actually be swimming? Are your spring break outfits Mom ApprovedTM? Maybe … not. Regardless, be sure to throw more sunscreen than you think you need into your suitcase along with that tangle of swimwear.

5. Packing is a skill that, as a college student, you must master.

If your travels are taking you to that underrated place called home, don’t forget to stuff your winter coat, sweaters and Bean Boots into that suitcase. With this incredible 75 degree weather that we’re having (in February), you shouldn’t be needing them anytime soon. Also, you do not want to have to navigate through the Reagan security line in May wearing the five layers of clothing that wouldn’t fit into your suitcases.

Enjoy your well-deserved break! Have fun, make good decisions, and don’t make those Instagram captions too cheesy.

We’ll see ya in a week, John Carroll!

Images: giphy.com

36 Questions That Lead to Love at Georgetown

We’ve all heard it before; heck, those lucky guides in Blue & Gray tout it as one of the shining moments of a campus tour, delivered while standing in front of historic Dahlgren Chapel:

“Why yes, 60% of Hoyas do marry other Hoyas!”
*Guide shares a knowing smile with mom in crowd nudging her clearly uninterested son.*

Incredible, right?

Perhaps you’ve met your other half here on the Hilltop; maybe you’re part of the rumored 40% who will *enter dramatic music* meet your significant other after leaving Georgetown. 

Regardless, why not try finding love here now? Taking a page out of the New York Times Modern Love column, we at 4E developed…

The 36 Questions That Lead to Love at Georgetown

The 36 questions are broken down into three parts. As you complete each section, the questions will get more and more intimate. If at any point in the in the questionnaire you feel uncomfortable, you may cease and desist. If this is your decision, we at 4E ask that you leave your partner without any notice in order to ensure that you two will avoid eye contact if you ever just so happen to be crossing Healy Lawn at the same time ever again.

Why not ask that special someone to a coffee date, a romantic night at Domino’s Pizza or a stroll to the benches in front of Dahlgren Chapel, just to set the mood? Take a chance on love and ask them these 36 questions. After all, love doesn’t just happen; it’s a choice.

*Disclaimer: 4E is not responsible for any unsuccessful love stories, as this is not a scientific study backed by any supporting evidence. However, we will take full credit if you do find love using our methods. We welcome you to send all complaints and/or suggestions to dja54@georgetown.edu.*

Part I

  1. Given the choice of any person in the world, who would you like to be your “Problem of God” professor?
  2. Would you like to be Georgetown famous? In like a “mentioned on Georgetown Confessions” way? Or maybe in a “God, can you believe he wrote a confession about himself?” kind of way?
  3. Before putting in your order at the pasta line at Leo’s, do you ever rehearse what you’ll say to the jolly employee?
  4. What would constitute a perfect Georgetown Day for you?
  5. When did you last “accidentally” order two quesadillas at Epi for yourself?
  6. If you make it big in the real world, what will be the first thing you give to Georgetown’s campus that it so desperately needs?
  7. Do you have a secret hunch about why Rhino closed despite it’s undeniable earning power among Hoyas both above and underage?
  8. On the count of three, name your go-to Wisey’s order.
  9. What flavor of Burnett’s are you most grateful for?
  10. If you could change anything about your time on the Hilltop, what would it be?
  11. Take 90 seconds to tell your partner how Quick Pita positively impacted your life before its passing.
  12. If you could wake up tomorrow with the power to change one thing permanently at Georgetown, what would it be?
    Part II
  13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, would you want to know if you’re working at Goldman Sachs, Deloitte or Teach for America?
  14. Is there a place on campus you’ve dreamed of taking that special someone to for a long time? Why don’t you lead them to Reiss rooftop right now?
  15. Without naming any clubs you finally got into, classes you aced or the number of chicken fingers you can down on Chicken Finger Thursday, what has been the greatest accomplishment of your Hoya existence?
  16. What do you value more in a roommate: cleanliness or their number of housing points?
  17. What is your most treasured memory that occurred after 11 p.m. on a Thursday night?
  18. What is your most terrible memory that occurred after 11 p.m. on a Thursday night?
  19. Knowing that graduation is looming, what is stopping you from going after the Hoya that got away?
  20. What did/does your friendship with your freshman year roommate mean to you?
  21. Has your love and affection for our men’s basketball team, despite the heartbreak inflicted, had a positive effect on your Georgetown experience?
  22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive side effect of living in D.C. Share three items each.
  23. How tight-knit was your freshman floor? Do you feel that your freshman year experience on Darnall 6 was happier than that of most other Hoyas?
  24. On a scale of 1 to 10, how close are you with your dean?
    Part III
  25. Make three “we” statements with your partner. For example, “We at this bench have both stolen rolls of toilet paper from Regents and smuggled them out under our Barbour jackets.”
  26. Finish this sentence on the count of three: “I wish someone at Georgetown had told me … ” *Editor’s note – Do not both say your wish out loud at the same time. This will cancel out all wish-granting or time-travelling powers from the ghost of John Carroll who will be listening in from the clock tower.*
  27. Take turns sharing the basis, and then nitty-gritty details of the personal essay you submitted in your original Georgetown application.
  28. After taking one minute to dig through your memory bank, tell your partner about the first time that you saw them on campus. Be very honest as you explain what your first impression of your partner was.
  29. Share with your partner when or if this first impression changed.
  30. When was the first time you cried because Georgetown, in all its glory and madness, got the best of you?
  31. Tell your partner what you admire most about them.
  32. What, if anything, do you think Hoyas should care more about?
  33. Imagine that you are at the Lincoln Memorial watching the sunrise on the morning of your graduation. You will never again be surrounded by all your fellow classmates in one spot ever again. What is one thing you regret not having told someone, be they a friend or a face in the crowd who never became anything more?
  34. Why haven’t you told the aforementioned person what you think yet?
  35. Of all your friends, colleagues, professors, Jesuits or four-legged friends on the Hilltop, who are you most afraid of losing, metaphysically or metaphorically?
  36. Stand up and grab your partners’ hands in your own. Set a timer and stare into each others eyes soundlessly for 228 seconds, one for every year of Georgetown’s existence.

Thank you for your participation! Now get over to Tombs and laugh about how silly that was. Or, maybe it wasn’t. Best of luck.

Photos/Gifs: buzzfeed.com, giphy.com

4E’s Spring 2017 Blog Babies

Every semester, we at The Fourth Edition decide to open our doors to the few whom we think are pretty hilarious. This semester, we took five new, spectacular human beings out of a competitive applicant pool. We can’t wait to see what they accomplish!

Top 3 Moments on Season 21 of The Bachelor

1. When Corinne, age 24, casually discloses that she has a nanny. #FreeRaquel2k17

2. When Alexis (dolphin/shark) jumps into the pool and starts making what I presume are dolphin mating sounds to call out for Nick.

3. When Josephine forces Nick to “lady and tramp” an uncooked hot dog with her.

Top  3 Ways to Get Lost in the ICC

1. You took the stairs. Never take the stairs.

                  2.  You went to office hours. The offices seem to always be full of people and yet does anyone really know where they are?
                  3.  You went to the bathroom. If the stairs are from Hogwarts, the ICC bathrooms are practically closets to Narnia.

 


Top 3 Georgetown Pet Peeves

1. Facilities request.

2. When someone ignores your Venmo request.

3. Dominos closes at 2 AM????

 

 

 

 

Top 5 TV Show Episodes that Make a Bad Day Better

1. The Office, “Stress Relief”

2. Parks and Recreation, “Li’l Sebastian”

3. 30 Rock, “Queen of Jordan”

 

 

 

Top 3 Things Every Georgetown Student Can Agree On

1. The Leo’s coffee may be a crummy necessity in maintaining our caffeine addictions, but their banana bread is a delicious gift from heaven.

2. Jack DeGioia is low-key a baller. He owns his rescinding hair line and classy tie collection.

3. We look at the people on tours to see by chance if we know someone, even though we would never actually want to see some random from high school.

Photos/gifs: blog.thehoya.com, facebook.com

Takeaways From a Semester at Georgetown

Congratulations! You made it through first semester (barely). But now you’ve returned wiser, crazier, somehow smarter and definitely fatter! This is what I’ve learned after my first semester of freshman year. Let’s go.

1. Clubs aren’t as big of a deal as they were first semester. If you don’t get into the clubs you want this semester, it’s honestly okay. You have friends now :’)


2. Ask a friend from MSB to print out that paper for you. We basically have unlimited printing. There’s no way we can use all 1,500 pages in a single semester.


3. There’s a method to falling asleep in class. Basically, after you meet eyes with the professor after dozing off, master this face for as long as possible:

4. Take every opportunity to explore and get involved in D.C. First semester is already over and before we know it, this year will be gone. College is short, so savor it.


5. There’s a bus to Safeway in front of Darnall that leaves every 20 minutes after 2 PM. You do not have to walk there.

I repeat:

You do not have to walk there.

6. If you haven’t stolen anything from Leo’s, you’re doing Georgetown wrong. Mugs, forks, spoons, 15 bananas, the panini press–whatever it is, take it. Except the waffle maker. Don’t ruin everyone’s day.

7. You will never stop running into that one specific hookup. It’s a given.

8. Your philosophy class probably sounds something like this:


9. On Thursdays in MSB, there are free bagels, juice, and coffee around 10 AM. Go and grab one, even if you’re not in MSB; it’s scheming time.

10. Time to hit the gym this time around!

And that’s it folks. We got this.

Photos/gifs: giphy.com

The New Year’s Resolutions You Won’t Keep

It is that time of the year again. A time of new beginnings, new memories, new laughs, and, most importantly, new resolutions. With each new year comes a new set of promises we Hoyas make to ourselves to make this coming year even better than the last. The thing is, however, we know we probably will not keep them. Here are some New Year’s resolutions you probably made to yourself that you know won’t make it to 2018.

I am going to eat healthy and go to Yates every day.

You get home for Christmas break and weigh yourself for the first time since August. You subsequently endure the 5 Stages of Grief. You promise yourself to live a ~healthy lifestyle~ in the spring semester. Three weeks into January you find yourself sitting in front of a plate of chicken fingers on a Thursday with no recollection of the last time you made it to the gym but also with no ragrets.

“Ohana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind.”

I will not drink Natty Lite or Burnett’s. 

After spending some time at home and drinking some classy wine and craft beer with your family (if you are 21 of course) you decide you are just too good for Natty and Burnett’s. I mean, what are you, a peasant? But, when you return to the Hilltop and take a look at the balance in your bank account you remember that you are indeed a peasant and quickly return to everyone’s drink of choice–whatever is cheapest.

I will do the readings for all my classes.

You coasted through the fall semester without doing the majority of the readings for the majority of your classes convinced you were gonna ace the class only to find a not so pleasant surprise on your final grade report. You think, “I probably should have done all those readings,” and you promise yourself this semester will be different. That is until you have to read 300 pages for tomorrow and its 11 pm all you have accomplished is taking one buzzed quick to find out what character from The Office you are based on your zodiac sign.

I am going to spend less money. 

Last semester you spent a little more than you should have, but this semester that is going to change. Who needs to eat out when you have Leo’s? Who needs to Uber when you can walk? Who needs Corona when you can have Natty? Oh wait…you do.

In all honesty, 4E wishes you all the best with your New Year’s resolutions. Lord knows we all need it.

Photos/gifs: giphy.com