Welcome Back!

The trees on Prospect Street are starting to change color. The NSO horde has descended upon campus, tasked with welcoming over a thousand new students. Jack the Bulldog is on his way home from a restful summer vacation in Turks & Caicos.

In other words, the start of a new school year is here.

View into a typical apartment/dorm room the night before classes start.

We’ve been away for a while, so 4E has placed several investigative journalists on the scene to inform you, our readers, about the current state of life at Georgetown.

1.  Late Night Leo’s is back. This reporter got eyes on a top-secret Dining Committee meeting in which, praise be, it was confirmed that Leo’s will be both extending its evening hours AND its daily breakfast hours. Things are really looking up. How to take advantage of this upgrade: take your significant other on a romantic date in the sensual ambiance of post-9pm O’Donovan’s on the Waterfront.

You back on your “Eat, Pray, Leo’s” bulls***.

2. Senseless construction projects continue to reign supreme. This reporter has gathered several receipts on the noisy, bothersome operations that disrupt the usually mediocre idyllic standard of life at Georgetown. From the Hospital Pavilion to the perplexing gated area in front of Regents, prepare yourselves for a year of getting woken up early by drill sounds.

“A Quiet Place” but the monsters are construction workers disturbing your drunken slumber.

3. Coming Soon: Big Mouth Season 2. 4E’s favorite Hoyalumni, John Mulaney and Nick Kroll, have been killing it with their stand-up specials, Broadway shows and overall hilariousness. The former GU Improv duo made puberty the ~butt~ of many jokes with Netflix’s Big Mouth. Lucky for us, more is supposedly coming our way this fall. Be sure to binge watch instead of studying for midterms. Its what John and Nick would have wanted.

Freshmen using their fakes at Opera for the first time.

4. Rats. They’re everywhere. Returning students are generally desensitized to the presence of rodents on campus, but it feels like they’ve come back with a vengeance this year. This reporter was personally victimized by several SCREECHING critters on the way back from LXR last night. Just throwing it out there—there’s no shame in taking a SafeRide from ICC to Vil A to avoid them.

Walking out of Lau at 2 am like…

5. LIL DICKY is coming to town. Not ~technically~ a Georgetown-specific event, but if you haven’t bought tickets yet for his November 6th show, GET THEM NOW. I’m totally not writing this so I can DM him and tell him that I personally sold tickets on his behalf, causing him to fall in love and have beautiful Jewish babies with me.

 

Honorary AEPi member

6. Kirstjen Nielsen. While most of us were topping off our tans and drinking vodka lemonades, this Georgetown grad spent her summer separating families and interning children in “tender-age facilities.” I can’t *smh* enough about the work of Kirstjen and her fellow #guilty alum, Mr. Paul Manafort.

What is tax fraud anyway, though?

7. Midterms! I’m not talking about the ones that give you a temporary ulcer and make you question the purpose of higher education. DC is about to be torn apart in a storm of political divisiveness, so hurry up and get yourselves Hillternships ASAP so you can watch it happen. Caveat emptor: you have to actually vote in order to participate.

Oprah for the House, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson for the Senate.

8. You’re still playing yourself. Georgetown may be one of the top schools in the country, but even great intellect can’t stop smart people from doing stupid things. Locking yourself out of your room for the third time in three days really makes you question the teachers who told you to dream big back in high school. Here’s to a year full of dumb mistakes…

You can always drink away the embarrassment.

Best of luck everyone! Hoya Saxa.

 

Sources: giphy.com, theanthemdc.com,

What We Miss About The Old Leo’s

I’m sorry, the old Leo’s can’t come to the phone right now. Why?

So you miss the old Leo’s? Us too.  After all of the complaining and whining about the old Leo’s, here we are doing the same exact thing once again.  Who would have thought? Here are just a few of the things we here at 4E miss most about the old Leo’s.

The Panini Press

While the panini press is technically still in operation, it is nowhere near the same. If you are lucky enough to catch the panini press during the short period of the day it is available for use, you are no longer greeted with the slightly aggressive but always familiar “excuse me” of our dearly beloved Leo’s worker, Kim Kim. We need Kim Kim’s expert hands and devotion to the press back on the job.

Me when it’s only two o’clock but the panini press is closed

People Watching

For some reason unbeknownst to me, someone thought it was a great idea to place large structures right in the middle of the dining hall. Long gone are the days of spotting friends, enemies, former loves, etc. from across the room. How am I supposed to know who to say hi to and who to avoid eye contact with?

Satisfying Portions

Remember when Leo’s would literally serve each person half of an entire chicken? Well, good luck getting a single chicken leg in the new Leo’s. With nearly no self serve options anymore, Hoyas across campus are starving due to the smaller portions and unwieldy lines of the new Leo’s. I think this is some sort of fat-shaming.

Variety

Not talking about the food here. Leo’s needs to bring  back the second stair case. How am I supposed to mix up my life now that I have no option to take the right sided stair case instead of the left sided one?

Freedom

The swiping system in the new Leo’s has got to go. If you want to get your food upstairs, but your friends are sitting downstairs, you need to sacrifice an unnecessary swipe simply to sit with them. I miss the days when all swipes were equal.

That’s it for now, folks. Hopefully the new Hoya Hospitality team heeds this advice and makes the necessary changes to our beloved dining hall.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, tumblr.com

What We Would Do If We Were Freshmen

welcome-freshmen11The senior nostalgia is hitting pretty hard as the year starts to ramp up. Suddenly everything is the “last” something. Our last first day, our last Georgetown move in day, our last fall semester. Basically, it can start to bring you down. So how better to get rid of that “I’m so old” feeling than by imagining myself as a freshman again.

Here are four things that I would do if I could go back and do that first semester all again:

1. Take advantage of Leo’s: You’ll probably be sick of the food here in a few weeks, but in three years you’ll find yourself hauling food from Safeway and struggling to make something edible in your kitchen. Leo’s won’t seem so bad when you start eating eggs for every meal. What I would do for some Wok right now…

food
EAT ALL THE FOODS

2. EXPLORE: Where is the observatory? Where is the Leavy Esplanade? How do you get to the roof of Lau? Where are the tunnels? You will 100% get lost getting to these places, but at least you’ll get a good adventure story in the process!

adventure
Adventure is out there!

3. Stay up all night: DOING IT IN LAU DOESN’T COUNT. While studying for that midterm at 3 in the morning won’t help you in the long run, staying up all night is totally acceptable. Grab your friends and head down to the monuments at night or watch the sunrise on the Georgetown waterfront, those are the memories that will last a lifetime.

4. Say Hi: Awkward is a choice, but you never know who you’ll meet here at Georgetown. That person sitting next to you in class or passing you in Red Square could be your future best friend. So get past your social ineptitudes and just say hi! Don’t forget, 28% of people find their spouses in college. Go get ‘em, tiger!

marriage

So there is my advice for all you underclassmen out there. You still have time, take advantage of it before you’re stuck living the SWUG life like me.

Photos/Gifs: blog.studentadvisor.com; giphy.com; tumblr.com