50 Things Better Than SaxaNet

Despite being 3 months into a school year that has graced us with new Leo’s and a NUG, we still have no new SaxaNet. Maybe this is a cry for help or just an attempt to make sure that we live in a constant state of stress, but one thing is for sure: 4E is here to remind you of all of the things better than our current SaxaNet!

1 . GuestNet.

2. Wisey’s Rat. A cultural icon.

3. NUG (New Uncommon Grounds).

4. Being swerved by Patrick Ewing for a selfie.

5. A closed Quick Pita #neverforget #foreverinourhearts.

6. Sleeping on the ground, waiting for a speaker while it rains (HRC event last year I’m looking at you).

7. The VW Bus in Leo’s.

8. JT3.

9. Just getting up to the Vill A rooftops as the parties are being shut down.

10. Meek Mill getting arrested before Hoya Madness.

11. The President DeGioia Fathead on Vil A.

12. The lines at Whisk at 9 am.

13. Chik-Fil-A closing at 7 pm on a weeknight.

14. Class in St. Mary’s and then in Walsh 15 minutes later.

15. Drinking with your parents.

16. The 2008 Leo’s norovirus outbreak.

17. Walking up the Regents stairs.

18. Rain during the Farmer’s Market.

19. Rats scurrying across your path on the way to Lau 2.

20. The lack of soy milk AND a working blender at Midnight MUG.

21. The football team’s losing season (1-7).

22. Our rivalry with the Georgetown neighborhood.

23. Maintenance request response rates.

24. The lack of a Metro stop in Georgetown.

25. Walking up the Exorcist Steps.

26. LXR.

27. The one hour three hour wait for Cosí last year (#gonebutneverforgotten).

28. The Walsh elevator.

29. The emergence of Darnall as a #lit dorm.

30. Being rejected from Blue and Gray AND The Corp AND GUASFCU (Thanks Georgetown meme page for showing accurate feels!).

31. Going to Wisey’s at 11:15 pm and finding it closed.

32. The line on Tapingo for Bulldog at 8:01pm (#55thinlinereactsonly).

33. Meeting yet ANOTHER member of the #DirtyJerz during NSO.

34. The Lau fire alarm going off in the middle of midterms season.

35. Sweetgreen’s move to Wisconsin.

36. FINALLY seeing Jack on campus, but he’s not up for photos.

37. Using the last of your flex dollars.

38. Being such a Lau regular that the security guard recognizes doesn’t ask for your GoCard.

39. Starbucks not accepting your free drinks.

40. Paying for Chick-Fil-A.

41. Lau as an entity.

42. The prices at the bookstore.

43. Hilltoss’ new menu.

44. Only getting free samples of apples and peaches from the Farmer’s Market because you spent all of your money.

45. Taking your midterm and realizing that ~studying memes~ on Lau 4 last night did not help.

46. Getting to Farmers Fishers Bakers at 10:35am (just missing First Bake) and having no breakfast.

47. Eating at downstairs Leo’s.

48. Getting to class after your professor has started speaking.

49. Getting rejected from Piano in addition to getting your fake taken.

50. Reading this article using GuestNet.

As much as we complain about it, we can appreciate like understand Saxanet and its dysfunction. Hopefully by next finals season we’ll have a better version to hate!

Photos/GIFS: giphy.com, facebook.com, pinterest.com

Monday Music Update! (Week of 12/4/17)

Congrats, guys. We’ve made it to the last week of classes. Good luck with finals after this week! Enjoy this week’s vibes on 4E’s latest playlist:

  1. WinSiempre – Boge and a Backpack – Kaji Gray (prod. WinSiempre)
    https://soundcloud.com/smi53/boge-and-a-backpack-kaji-gray-prod-winsiempre
  2. Rajitheone – #WhiteGirlVoice
    https://open.spotify.com/track/4TkGhMYlkcbxCMj3pny9mU
  3. 6LACK – Learn Ya
    https://open.spotify.com/track/2V8OJ8i3WBh4Los9wG6OKQ
  4. Roy Woods – Say Less
    https://open.spotify.com/track/5sOW5hiIFFjtS51KMlWwt1
  5. slenderbodies – amnesia
    https://open.spotify.com/track/0JWhOjXZvKRtD6n1H6CRVV
  6. blackbear – gucci linen (feat. 2 Chainz)
    https://open.spotify.com/track/02DGz57a3TK3jNiibbnxaK
  7. blackbear – g2g ttyl (feat. THEY.)
    https://open.spotify.com/track/5peXF38os4UT1lsfdoKMt5
  8. Mansionz – nobody knows – Soren Bryce
    https://open.spotify.com/track/79Ho3Dq9Go7gS30tMJROzT
  9. Mike Stud – Lost Me
    https://open.spotify.com/track/5LG63eRhfNFYyCGU1QZXCo
  10. D-Why – One Day
    https://open.spotify.com/track/6lRfpMTNgkOnxkVKhnGd4R

Enjoy your last week!

Photos/Gifs/Music: soundcloud.com, spotify.com, giphy.com

Monday Music Update! (Week of 11/27/17)

Short and sweet. Just like the past break. Enjoy this week’s 4E Monday Music Update!

  1. Flume – Free (Luude x Creepa Flip Remix)
    https://soundcloud.com/luude-2-0/flume-free-luude-x-creepa-flip
  2. RL Grime – Reims (Enschway & Luude Flip Remix)
    https://soundcloud.com/luude-2-0/rl-grime-reims-enschway-luude-flip
  3. MGMT – Kids (Aux Paris Remix)
    https://soundcloud.com/auxparis/kids
  4. Loud Luxury feat. Brandy – Body
    https://soundcloud.com/loudluxury/loud-luxury-feat-brando-body
  5. NGHTMRE & SLANDER – GUD VIBRATIONS
    https://soundcloud.com/nghtmre/nghtmre-slander-gud-vibrations

Knock those finals dead. Good luck, everyone!

Photos/Gifs/Music: soundcloud.com, giphy.com

15 People Sexier Than Blake Shelton

If you haven’t heard, Blake Shelton was recently named the Sexiest Man Alive. We here at 4E are unsure if it’s just us, or if everyone else also has trouble seeing what People Magazine and Gwen Stefani see (look below for reference).

To try and get some perspective on this confusing choice, here’s a list of 15 people we think are sexier than Blake Shelton:

  1. The pizza in the above gif
  2. Amanda Bynes
  3. The Wisey’s Rat
  4. Jack the Bulldog
  5. Bill Clinton
  6. Todd Olson
  7. Josh Peck (pre-not inviting Drake Bell to his wedding)
  8. Patrick Ewing
  9. Amanda Bynes in “She’s the Man”
  10. The Dad from “Drake and Josh”
  11. Jack the Bulldog on a skateboard
  12. Kim Kim (we still miss you on the panini press)
  13. John DeGioia
  14. Todd Olson in full convocation garb
  15. Bradley Cooper

We at 4E simply cannot fathom how none of these fine options preceded Blake Shelton. People Magazine, we urge you to take into account this definitive list before choosing your ~Sexiest Man Alive~ next year.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, tvguide.com

What Famous Hoya Are You?

College is a time of great uncertainty. Everyday, we ask ourselves: “What will I do with my life?” “Who will I be when I grow up?” “Why did I decide to major in English?”

We know these questions might seem scary, but 4E is here to help you procrastinate writing that essay for another five minutes discover who you really are. Take this quiz, and finally find an answer to the timeless question:

What Famous Hoya Are You?

 

Photos: tumblr.com

 

Monday Music Update! (Week of 11/13/17)

We are all so ready to go home. Eat turkey. Catch up on sleep. Finally binge-watch Stranger Things 2. But until then, enjoy the latest 4E-approved tunes!

  1. 070 Shake – Honey
    https://open.spotify.com/track/0PoMoPqIJxe6H0rDMnpGP8
  2. Roy Woods – Instinct (ft. MadeinTYO)
    https://open.spotify.com/track/49VzL5oBsUICN7U34T98b9
  3. Big Sean – No More Interviews
    https://open.spotify.com/track/3IRloeDfPgi7bH5OwXfwkN
  4. Pham – Movements (ft. Yung Fusion)
    https://soundcloud.com/xxx/pham-movements-ft-yung-fusion 
  5. Kygo – Nothing Left ft. Will Heard (Trinix Remix)
    https://soundcloud.com/stayseemusic/kygo-nothing-left-ft-will-heard-trinix-remix
  6. Kygo – This Town
    https://open.spotify.com/track/4aSfgWmRa9KsISD4Jmx7QB
  7. Shura – Touch
    https://soundcloud.com/shura/shura-touch
  8. Louis The Child – Phone Died (ft. Blaise Railey)
    https://soundcloud.com/louisthechild/phonedied
  9. Darci – Two Up
    https://soundcloud.com/darksidedarci/darci-two-up
  10. Childish Gambino – Terrified (Zikomo Remix)
    https://soundcloud.com/zikomo/childish-gambino-terrified-zikomo-remix

Thanks for reading! Time to get listening!

Photos/Gifs/Music: soundcloud.com, spotify.com, giphy.com

Monday Music Update! (Week of 11/6/17)

Midterms should be over. So relax and listen to some music!

Here is 4E’s latest ~Music Monday~ playlist to help you de-stress:

  1. Brent Faiyaz – Gang Over Luv
    https://soundcloud.com/brentfaiyaz/gang-over-luv?in=brentfaiyaz/sets/sonder-son
  2. Brent Faiyaz – First World Problemz / Nobody Carez
    https://soundcloud.com/brentfaiyaz/first-world-problemz-nobody
  3. Russ – Cherry Hill
    https://open.spotify.com/track/6qcuRcbz8DCLG6nG4or8Uo
  4. PARTYNEXTDOOR – Wus Good/Curious (NVR Remix)
    https://soundcloud.com/therealdonnyvega/party-next-door-wus-good
  5. LLD – All That Matters (LiveMix)
    https://soundcloud.com/livelikedavis/livelikedavis-all-that-matters
  6. The Sun King – I Wrote This Song For An Ex (ft. Abbn0rmal)
    https://soundcloud.com/the-sun-king-ny/i-wrote-this-song-for-an-ex-remix-ft-abbn0rmal
  7. Roy Woods – What Are You On?
    https://open.spotify.com/track/4467C0jkad7vMVD8kOhFxW
  8. dsvn – Don’t Choose
    https://open.spotify.com/track/6OVDdIF1LyY36sXL5xGCSR
  9. H.E.R – Jungle
    https://open.spotify.com/track/3C23UChONVCL0A3U9uWO5u
  10. Russ – Losin’ Control (Silver Waves Remix)
    https://soundcloud.com/silverwaves/losin-control-remix-1

Photos/Gifs/Music: soundcloud.com, spotify.com, giphy.com

Bill Clinton: A True Hoya

As you may have heard, Georgetown’s very own prodigal son is returning home to the Hilltop this week. And as cynical as we usually are here at 4E, this is actually a pretty cool thing. After all, since the events of the past year have forced us to acknowledge that Eric Trump, Steve Bannon, and Paul Manafort are technically alumni, we need to celebrate the Hoyas who didn’t collude with Russia have made a positive impact in the world now more than ever.

But as you prepare to camp outside Gaston to hear his speech, many of you who were born in the late-90s may be asking yourselves, “Who is Bill Clinton?” We know from eavesdropping on Blue and Gray tours that he certainly attended Georgetown, but is he really a Hoya? If he were a student today, would he regularly attend Jersey Night? Would he mourn the loss of Quick Pita? Would he post in the meme group? And more importantly, would his memes be dank?  To try to answer some of these pressing questions, we here at 4E briefly skimmed carefully read and took diligent notes on Bill Clinton’s autobiography, My Life, and came to the following conclusion:

Bill Clinton is a true Hoya.

Take a look at our reasoning below:

1. He Loves Wisey’s

The Quote: “At Wisemiller’s Deli, just across Thirty-sixth Street from the Walsh building where I had most of my classes, I got coffee and two donuts for twenty cents every morning

Our Analysis: Like all good Hoyas, Bill Clinton both loves Wisey’s and eats there way too much. He definitely would have voted for the Hot Chick/Chicken Madness ticket back in the infamous GUSA election of 2016, and is surely a strong supporter of our unofficial school mascot, The Wisey’s Rat™. So the next time you feel guilty about eating Wisey’s cookies for breakfast as you walk in 15 minutes late to your class on the fourth floor of Walsh because the elevator was taking forever, just remember that you will probably grow up to be the President of the United States.

When you call your order in and the wait is only 10 minutes

2. He Never Leaves Campus

The Quote:In my first two years, I rarely ventured beyond the confines of the University and its immediate surroundings”

Our Analysis: For a true Hoya, Burleith is as exotic as it gets. Yes, just like a vast majority of Hoyas, Bill Clinton fell victim to the Georgetown Bubble. And yes, we know D.C. is a world-class city full of renowned food, art, and culture, but the whole Metro system is confusing and not a lot of places take GoCard. True Hoyas stick to complaining about the lack of options at Leo’s and only venture beyond M street once a semester for Instagram-related purposes. Also “immediate surroundings” is definitely code for Chi Di. We’ll see you there on Thursday, Bill. Hopefully you have a good ID though, they’ve been pretty tough this year.

When someone suggests you should “explore D.C. more”

3. He Embraces Our “Sleep When You’re Dead” Culture

The Quote: “My most memorable class sophomore year was Professor Walter Giles’s U.S. Constitution and Government… By the time I got to his class I had embraced my lifelong affinity for sleep deprivation and had developed the sometimes embarrassing habit of falling asleep for five or ten minutes of class”

Our Analysis: Same, Bill Clinton. Same. Does it even qualify as a Georgetown class if more than half its students are awake at any given time? Whether it’s in a lecture hall, on Healy Lawn, or in the middle of a professor’s office hours (it happened once), falling asleep at inappropriate times is what we Hoyas do best. Honestly, Bill Clinton, props for doing this well in an era before you could try to stay awake by scrolling through memes on Facebook while the professor thinks you’re taking notes. Side note to any of my professors who accidentally clicked on this article: I love your class! Keep up the good work!

When the professor makes eye contact during the lecture and you have to act like you’re deep in thought over whatever they just said

4. He Has a Capitol Hill Internship

The Quote: On interning for Arkansas Senator William Fulbright, “It was easy to fit the job into my daily schedule, partly because in junior year only five courses were required instead of six, partly because some classes started as early as 7 a.m.”

Our Analysis: If you hadn’t already guessed, Bill Clinton was in the SFS. This quote confirms it. I can practically hear this quote telling me he’s a STIA major and that he has to go study for MAP. Even today, when Bill Clinton meets new people, I guarantee you that he finds some way to mention the SFS. This guy is a Hoya.

When it’s been five minutes and no one has asked about your foreign service background yet

5. He Loves The Tombs

The Quote:My favorite haunts in Georgetown were the Tombs, a beer hall in a cellar beneath the 1789 restaurant, where most of the students went for beer and burgers

Our Analysis: Bill Clinton’s Tombs Night was definitely lit. But not too lit, like where you had to call GERMS and the whole night was ruined. It was just the right level of lit, like where everybody danced to “In Da Club” by 50 Cent when the clock hit midnight, and then Bill Clinton got a great Instagram pic of his forehead being stamped by the Tombs bouncer. Every Hoya since John Carrol has made some of their greatest memories at the Tombs. Need we say more?

Actual photo of Bill Clinton getting his forehead stamped on his Tombs Night. On an unrelated note, yes, I am available for freelance photoshop jobs. Serious inquiries only.

So there you have it: Bill Clinton is a Georgetown Hoya. Our diligent research has definitively proved it. We hope you all have fun accidentally falling asleep learning a lot at his speech on Monday- and huge props to the team over at #GUPolitics for making this happen! No disrespect to the time you got Martin O’Malley to play his guitar in McShain Lounge, but this is definitely much cooler than that.

Sources: My Life by Bill Clinton, Tombs.com, Facebook.com, giphy.com, Georgetowndc.com, georgetown.edu

Am I Too Old For This?

As you sip a Natty at a crowded pregame or wait in line for ~another~ Epi Quesadilla, some of you upperclassmen out there might be pondering a timeless question. To help you find answers, we here at 4E have compiled a list of ten things that you can and can’t do after your freshman year. So pause for a moment and ask yourself…

Am I too old for this?

1) Taking a basic picture of Healy Hall. We all did this within our first days on the Hilltop, and, though we cringe at others for snapping the famed clocktower, most still look at Healy in awe.

Verdict: No, but expect some judgement.

2) Going to frat basement parties. Though I have gone on my fair share of SAE Foxfield buses or Zeta Psi booze cruises, frat parties feel increasingly more like events for freshman. Please let my days of partying in a suspiciously wet Sig Ep basement be over. I would take a Piano Bar night filled with only adults over this. Enough is enough. That being said, the frat boys and pledge bros are still wonderful.

Verdict: Probably yes, unless you are in a frat, in which case, please attend your own events.

3) Waiting in the Georgetown Cupcake line. I didn’t even do this as a freshman because WHO HAS THE TIME?? Waiting 40 minutes for a $4 cupcake with too much frosting is never worth it.

Verdict: Yes, go to Baked & Wired instead.

4) Attending Jersey Night or Thursday Chi Di. Does anyone care?

Verdict: see you all there!!!

5) Getting lost on campus. Our campus is literally 1/18 the size of a state school’s, so I’m pretty sure you should know every building after a few months. Specifically, I mean people struggling with Maguire. I don’t understand why this is the specific location no one can find. The Jesuits are judging you!

Verdict: Get a map. Then again, it’s totally fine if we’re talking about the ICC.

6) Drinking Burnett’s. Not everyone is too old for this, but I can say with some certainty, while nursing my current raging hangover, that I should be upgrading beyond the likes of Mango Burnett’s. I am only too old for this in the ~health~ way. Will I give it up? Likely not — I have a budget.

Verdict: Yes, but who cares?

7) Referencing the Georgetown meme page. Judging by my alumni friends who find the meme page hilarious, there’s no harm in still talking about a classic “Everyone from Georgetown lives in New Jersey or Connecticut”.

Verdict: No, keep tagging away.

8) Village A Rooftop Parties. Power to you if you get there before GUPD shuts it down. Nevertheless, it remains a classic spot on Homecoming and Georgetown Day.

Verdict: Yep…  it’s never worth it to be honest.

9) Applying to clubs. While the process certainly becomes more cynical as you get older, you should join anything you want at any age. (I hear 4E accepts freshmen to seniors).

Verdict: No, college is about finding yourself and all that #wholesome.

10) ~Hanging out~ in a freshman dorm. Do you!!!!! Just be safe!!!!!!!!!

Verdict: Just don’t go to Darnall.

And with that, we hope you act your age!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, knowyourmeme.com

What Your Favorite La Croix Flavor Says About You

Image result for la croix costumes

La Croix: It can be found in any Georgetown Girl’s refrigerator, but no one really knows how to pronounce it … La Croy? La Cwah? La Crocs? For those of us who love this sparkling beverage, here’s what your preferred flavor says about you.

Pamplemousse and Cran-Raspberry : Although all flavors of La Croix are basic, these two are the worst of them all. You wear Adidas Superstars and Lululemon leggings and drink La Croix to ~rehydrate~ after SoulCycle. You use La Croix as a chaser for your Mango Pineapple Svedka because it’s “healthy.”

Any of the Curate Flavors: You’re really bougie and probably pronounce it “La Cwah.”

Plain: You’re a real hardo. You’d prefer to drink plain water out of your Brita filter but you drink plain La Croix to seem jazzy.

Coconut: Some may say it tastes like a candle, but if you drink Coconut La Croix, you’re the cool kid at the party. You’re super trendy and fun and everyone wants to be your friend (disclaimer: this is my flavor of preference).

Lime: You’re trying to cut back on soda and if you really pretend, it tastes nothing kinda like Sprite.

Peach-Pear: You really like Burnett’s, but since it isn’t socially acceptable to drink on a Tuesday at 1 p.m., Peach-Pear La Croix is the closest you’re going to get.

So, next time you walk around campus with a can of La Croix in hand, just know that the rest of us are judging you.

Photos: lacroixwater.com, www.brit.co