Things Worth Loving This Valentine’s Day

Down with capitalistic consumer culture that tells us that showering in materialism one day a year is a necessary approach to demonstrating our care for a significant other! Down with societal expectations that promote monogamy, heteronormativity and tacky, giant, useless teddy bears bound for eventual landfill!

Why just celebrate one person one day a year when you are surrounded by people and things worth loving every day, all of the time?!

Here’s 4E’s take on things that are truly worthy of love and celebration this Valentine’s Day:

Epi’s salad bar

DeGioia’s smile

Healy Lawn

The Office

Bathroom Stall Art

Peets!

70 degree weather in February

Tinder

Free cake samples at Dog Tag Bakery

GUPD officers who smile

Arrupe’s study spaces

Arrupe being called Arrupe

NPR Politics

Leo’s vegan options

Yates midday

The Law Center GUTS bus

Lau’s free feminine product dispenser

Super Bowl commercials that promote unity

A friend’s baby photos

Your grandparents

Bitmojis

Peanut butter

The Smithsonian Museum of African American History and Culture

Lau’s book request system

Research grants

Sunshine

Fluffy dogs

Naps

Big dogs

Netflix

Little dogs

Booeymonger

Rumchata

If you’re still reading this and feel as though your qualms for the holiday have not subsided, here’s a list of things you might not love, but nonetheless could make you more grateful today for the things that you do love.

Here are things to also love today:

Donald Trump’s twitter

Expired groceries

The patriarchy

Systematic inequality

Georgetown’s rising tuition

Racial disparities

Antisemitism

Being ghosted

Canada Goose jackets

People who walk slowly

Read receipts

Saxanet

Poor customer service

Class with your ex

Classism

Corp coffee

Splitting the check

Partisanship

The Metro

Weekly assignments

Rejection

2k17’s lack of snow days

Gifs: giphy.com

Georgetown Provides Complimentary Feminine Hygiene Products

We have good news and bad news (and some alternative news, but we’ll save that for later):

If you were born with ovaries, you’ve likely experienced a period. If you’re a man, you likely haven’t, but maybe if you’re lucky you’ve heard about ’em. Maybe you’re even a menstrual-cycle sympathizer that has made a girlfriend a period mix-tape, provided a shoulder for an emotional friend to cry on or tread a little lighter around a sister when you it was “that time of the month.”

Did you know? The unfortunate scientific fact is that for about half of us periods are a reality. And with them comes stained clothes, constant trips to the bathroom and expensive feminine hygiene products.

Did you also know that feminine products are taxed by the U.S. government as a luxury item?

 

Yes it’s true. Politifact confirms that many states make it easier for men to deal with erectile dysfunction than they do for women to get tampons. Not great news for gender equality. But we do have some good news.

GEORGETOWN HAS RECOGNIZED PERIOD STRIFE!

Feminine products are being distributed for FREE on campus!

(Spotted in the Lau 3 Reading Room’s women’s room)

THANKS, GEORGETOWN! 

Photos/gifs: giphy.com, Jenna Clifford

Upcoming GUSA Referendums

gusa referendumsIn case you missed the 25 emails, social media campaign and representatives knocking on your door begging you to vote, GUSA recently held two referendums on the topics of smoking on campus and club funding reform. We here at 4E found this to be a great way of getting a better understanding of the campus climate on some really important issues at Georgetown. So good, in fact, that we would like to propose a couple topics of our own that we think need some serious addressing for the next GUSA Referendum Day.

Without further ado, here are 4E’s proposed GUSA referendums.

Is two naps in one day too many?

You have two hours in between your first and second class. Obviously, you are going to take a nap and catch up on those extra Zs. You finish your last class of the day at 4:45, and you’re still feeling a little groggy from that first nap. You could really go for another one.

You worry, “Will I have enough time to finish my calc problem set?” “Will I ever fall asleep when it is actually time for bed?” The answer to both of those questions is probably no, but you still really want that nap. What do you think Georgetown?

Will this outlet work?

Whether you are studying in the HFSC, Lau, MSB, or any other popular study spot on campus, there is about a 50/50 shot that when you plug your laptop charger into the outlet it will actually work. You would think that with a nearly $70,000 tuition bill, Georgetown would be able to afford electricity.

Anyways, I say we leave it up to the student body to figure out if a given outlet works before going through the grossly disappointing process of unpacking your charger, getting up from your seat, and plugging it in only to find it doesn’t provide the life-giving electricity your laptop so desperately needs.

Do I really need to go to my econ recitation?

You attend all the lectures and you understand all the material. Well, maybe not ALL of it. Ok, honestly, probably none of it. But still, your recitation is at 7 p.m. on a Thursday night all the way in Walsh. AND it’s kinda cold out. I think the only way to get a valid answer is for the entire student body to weigh in on this decision.

Can we burn Lau to the ground?

Ok, I know technically this is arson, but I am pretty sure it’s what everyone wants. Lau defies the popular adage, “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” Not only is it ugly on the outside, but also ugly on the inside. It is also where most, if not all, dreams go to die. What do you guys think?

Make sure to keep an eye out for the next series of 25 emails from GUSA about upcoming referendums. You might just see one of these pressing matters on the ballot!

Gifs: giphy.com

Dating on a Budget 2.0

love on a budgetI hate to be the one to say it, but we’ve reached that inevitable point in the semester: The honeymoon phase is quickly coming to a close.

Darties give way to office hours, highly-anticipated outings to Chi Di become procrastination-heavy nights in Lau, and perhaps most importantly, that abundance of Flex Dollars and summer-job money turns into asking the cashier at Snaxa to try your card one more time because you’re pretty sure you have another 75 cents on it. But fear not – just because your bank account is having some serious troubles, doesn’t mean that your love life has to suffer too.

Here are some of 4E’s top picks for dating on a budget here at Georgetown. Whether you’re a freshman struggling to find affordable options in a town that seems full of Café Milanos and 1789s, or a senior looking to spice things up while also saving money for when your parents cut you off in a few months, this is the guide for you.

  1. Quick Pita: The perfect spot for all you late-night lovers out there. Head on down to the corner of M and Potomac any time before 2 a.m. and split an order of the best fries in Georgetown for just $3.59. Make sure to take advantage of mood music while you’re basking in the glow of the fluorescent lights and the neon “Open” sign. The owners have been known to slow it down with some Beyoncé and Usher after midnight.
The typical 2 AM scene at Quick Pita
The typical 2 a.m. scene at Quick Pita

2. Kehoe Field: While “technically closed” for now, you can still take a romantic stroll up around Yates and onto one of Georgetown’s hidden treasures to catch a breathtaking view of campus. The whole forbidden aspect will make your date that much more exciting, and you can show that special someone your dangerous side by daring to explore the “unfit playing conditions.”

Pro tip: Flaunt your affinity for animals by attempting to pet one of the many deer that frequently visit the field.

3. People watching at Epi: This one’s pretty straightforward, but sometimes simplicity is key. Get yourselves some free water cups, snag a cozy booth, and watch the drunken shenanigans of your peers unfold. You know what they say: Nothing brings two people together quite like watching a mutual friend devour a quesadilla and then trip over a chair while attempting to sprint to the nearest restroom.

I have actually seen someone do this exact maneuver on an Epi table.
I have actually seen someone do this exact               maneuver on an Epi table.

4. The Waterfront: Sequoia is home to a beautiful outdoor light display, which means that loitering on one of the benches outside the restaurant is basically the same experience that their outdoor seating provides. You’ll enjoy all the ambiance of a five-star restaurant with none of the cost!

Pro tip: Plan ahead and expand your loitering horizons during the holiday season by sitting and admiring the Christmas lights outside of Starbucks or Fiola Mare, all while still never opening your wallet.

5. Lau 5:  While Lau 2 may seem like the obvious choice for a conversation-filled date night, the strictly-enforced no-talking policy on Lau 5 will create plenty of opportunities for you to get close to that special someone as you whisper about tomorrow’s Econ test.

Pro tip: Use your study break to take a silent stroll through the stacks together. Be sure to show off your studious side by pretending to have read some of the random books you come across.

 

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com 

Initiation By Fire: The Levels of Lau

The Levels of Lau

Maybe you find Lau endearing – its white cinderblock walls, mysterious plethora of locked doors, and lack of windows inspire productivity in you – or maybe you can only be lured in by study groups unwilling to relocate to more scenic locations. In my first four weeks on the Hilltop, I have learned – through trial and error (mostly error) – the distinct personalities that characterize the five floors of the sprawling, Brutalist concrete monstrosity that is Lauinger Library.

Level 5

If Level 4 is already a quiet floor, what purpose does Level 5 serve? What kind of desire for concentration merits walking up two flights of stairs to get to 5? I have dared to venture onto this floor solely for the investigative purposes of writing this (highly informative) article.

Some helpful tips:
Talking: punishable by death
Using a computer keyboard: warrants dirty looks
Owning devices that emit beeps: unacceptable
Breathing: begrudgingly allowed

2

Level 4

The true quiet floor. The arrangement of red chairs near the elevator attempts to create a cozy aesthetic, but don’t be fooled by this homey illusion. Two weeks into the semester, I learned that NSO was indeed over when, whilst QUIETLY talking to my friend, I was asked to leave the fourth floor. To this studious upperclassman, whom I continue to see all too frequently, I am both apologetic – and still offended.

4E 1

Level 3

In terms of quietness, level 3 provides the perfect environment in which being a functional human being (breathing, moving, etc.) is acceptable, and loudly gossiping about someone else’s Friday night escapades is not.

However, the level three reading room presents two critical issues:

  • Memories of the hot sweaty awkwardness of Club Lau must be suppressed.
  • One must accept that this room is a fishbowl visible to any and all onlookers outside of Lau.

Level 2

Level two is a floor of temptation and lack of productivity. This floor is conducive to group “work” (collective procrastination) and is home to Midnight MUG, luring students away from their studies with the bait of sugary, caffeinated beverages. Floor two features an uncomfortably open space that raises dilemmas such as: is walking to Midnight MUG worth having EVERYONE stare at you?

Level 1

So far, the only useful thing here is that there is a bathroom that everyone didn’t just see you walk into (unlike Lau 2) or can hear you in (unlike all other floors).

“Basement”

The fact that Lau has a dungeon should be surprising to no one, considering the general level of enthusiasm that surrounds spending the day at Lau and the uncanny resemblance our library bears to a bomb shelter. This floor is surreptitiously referred to as “LL” in the elevators and is presumably where people who spill coffee, deface cubicles, and loudly eat chips in the third floor reading room are held captive.

It's basically a bunker...
It’s basically a bunker…

Images: giphy.com, blog.thehoya.com 

4E’s Declassified Freshman Survival Guide: Club Lau

Banner - Club LauDuring the first few days of your Georgetown experience, you will undoubtedly hear of a very “unique” tradition we have. You will hear of Club Lau, perhaps from an upperclassman friend, perhaps from a sign in the library, or even from an equally confused fellow freshman.

What is Club Lau? Where is it? How do I get in? What’s it like?

what

You ask, and 4E has answers. If you want to do this Georgetown tradition right (note: this is a survival guide for a reason), listen up…

Every year, on one fateful night early in the schoolyear, our very own Lauinger Library turns into a sweaty dance moshpit. From the outside, you can’t see anything. That’s because the temperature inside rivals a sauna and the windows are completely fogged up.

lit

Everyone waits in a seemingly never-ending line for the chance to grace the Lau 3 dance floor, see all of their friends make fools of themselves, and relive past memories.

bettydrunk
Live footage of a Club Lau pregame

A DJ will play an aggressive set to pump up those in attendance, including:

  1. You. The confused freshman who just showed up because everyone else said they were going. You didn’t want to miss out on the fun.
  2. The senior crying upon realization this is his/her last Club Lau. You know what they say: 50 percent of Hoyas marry other Hoyas. If you haven’t found a spouse by senior year, this is basically your last opportunity to do so.
  3. The valedictorian who came to check out a book. Not even the deafening music can keep this student from his/her books. Wouldn’t be caught dead on the dance floor.
  4. The “GERMS’ed” record holder. If there’s one place someone is likely to need medical attention, it’s definitely here.
  5. Confused library staff. They’ll have to look up the meaning of the words “lit” and “ratchet” online if all of the dictionaries are checked out. There isn’t anything they can’t find in Georgetown’s Dictionary, though.

What you should expect:

  1. Losing your GoCard.
  2. Never being able to look at your roommate the same way afterwards.
  3. A constant smell of body odor/bodily fluids.smell
  4. Learning new things about people you may or may not have wanted to know.
  5. DFMOs (Dance Floor Makeouts).
  6. A damn good time.

Now that you’re up to date, you’ll be able to survive Club Lau 2016.  It’s on September 3rd from 10 PM to 2 AM, if you didn’t already know. See you there!

cocofood

Photos/GIFs: Karen Bu (COL ’16), giphy.com, playbuzz.com

 

99 Problems and Graduation is 1

Graduation

With a week to go before graduation, here is a list of the 99 things my friends and I will miss the most about Georgetown. Naturally, we will miss many more things, but we’ll keep it short for the sake of the title’s reference. Get ready for the tears, they are a coming…

1. Every single view
2. Leo’s
3. Snow Days
4. M Street and Wisconsin
5. Mai Thai, Paolo’s and El Centro Happy Hours


6. 99 Days
7. The Tombs on Saturday nights
8. First Bake at Farmers Fishers Bakers
9. Dixie’s
10. Corp Locations
11. Saxby’s
12. ICC
13. Georgetown clubs
14. Healy
15. The speakers


16. Baked and Wired vs. Georgetown Cupcakes
17. Mai Thai delivery
18. Wisey’s cookies
19. Wisey’s egg sandwiches
20. Wisey’s regular sandwiches
21. Jon Quigley
22. Basketball Games
23. Booey’s
24. Living close to the Waterfront
25. Good Stuff
26. Free MSBagels
27. Cherry Blossoms
28. Verizon Center
29. Drunch
30. Tombs Ale
31. Flex Dollars
32. T Sweets
33. Brown House
34. Thinking Smirnoff is “nice”

35. DFMOs
36. Jack the Bulldog
37. Todd Olson and his scooter
38. The Farmer’s Market
39. Parties with The Chimes

40. Playing cornhole on the front lawn
41. Our freshman floors (@Darnall 5)
42. Hoya Blue
43. Tombs’ Trivia (especially the music round)
44. Senior Night (and $3 vodka drinks)
45. GUGS Burgers
46. Rooftop Parties
47. Looking at Healy and feeling so goddamn lucky

48. Varsity athletes
49. Cosi Bread
50. Free food in general
51. Chicken Finger Thursday
52. Emails from JQP and all of our other favorite admins
53. Georgetown Day
54. The Stall Seat Journal
55. Horrible late night food options
56. Epi quesadillas
57. Regents’ elevators
58. The amazing professors (s/o STIA and Latin American departments)
59. 25 cent large iced waters at the Corp
60. The being stressed is cool
61. Exploring DC, even if it’s for only an hour
62. Free museums

63. The Metro (lol jk never)
64. Tombs coffee cake during weekend brunch
65. Half Priced Wingos
66. Los Cuates (always and forever)
67. Leo’s Brunch
68. Lau 1

 69. Lau 2

 70. Lau 3

 71. Lau 4

72. Lau 5 (JK no one goes to Lau 5)
73. Living on million dollar real estate when your income is 1/1000000th of that
74. Pretending you are a wealthy individual living in Georgetown
75. The Prospect Crawl

76. Sneaking things in and out of Leo’s
77. Foxfields
78. Sweetgreen’s proximity
79. Living near famous people
80. Events in Gaston
81. Mass with Biden
82. The Jesuits
83. Toga parties
84. Tombs nights
85. Running through Dahlgren fountain

86. Skipping class just because (oops)
87. Georgetown Snapchat story
88. All the Georgetown geofilters
89. Hearing about students’ internships on the hill
90. Club Lau
91. Spending insane amounts of time in Lau and getting nothing done
92. Woodbridge
93. Watching tours go by and being insanely jealous
94. Friday afternoons during the spring

95. Being surrounded by so many inspiring people
96. Making connections with people who change your life
97. Running into everyone you know at Midnight, NO MATTER WHAT
98. Feeling accomplished after finishing an impossible class
99. And, of course, we are going to miss everyone.

Hey Georgetown, don’t make us leave!

Photos/Gifs: teen.com; flickr.com; giphy.com; ncronline.com; webchutney.pk; bunow.com; imgur.com; blogofthecourtierdotcom.files.wordpress.com; literallydarling.com; gurl.com; omegafi.com

50 Things Better Than Georgetown’s Housing System

Banner - HousingThe spirit of Georgetown is the best of any schools’ in the country. The housing? Not so much. It’s hard to go a day without hearing someone complaining about something related to housing. Most recent, the ire of many students was directed at the housing process for next year and the fact that rising sophomores were often excluded from Phase I selection, whereas many rising juniors and even some seniors found that they wouldn’t be able to live in their most desired places.

In honor of this tragedy and many others (including, but definitely not limited to: vermin infestations, dirty carpets, sub-par plumbing, outdated fixtures/appliances), here is 4E’s list of… 50 Things Better Than Georgetown’s Housing:

  1. Instructional continuity
  2. Leo’s coffee
  3. Losing your GoCard
  4. 8am classes

    class sleeping
    @everyone
  5. Hot Chick and Chicken Madness not winning the GUSA election
  6. GUTS bus delays
  7. The laundry rooms’ notoriously useless dryers
  8. Going to Epi on a Sunday night, only to realize it’s closed
  9. SaxaNet
  10. GuestNet
  11. Getting one out of five classes during preregistration
  12. Our basketball team this yearbasetball
  13. Getting rejected from every club
  14. The bathrooms in Reiss
  15. When people are talking obnoxiously on Lau 3
  16. Rhino closing
  17. Kehoe field
  18. Constructionconstruction
  19. Running out of meal swipes
  20. Having meal swipes (and having to use them on Georgetown’s food)
  21. JT III
  22. Brown House not being a thing next year
  23. Doing a survey and not winning the promised gift card
  24. Getting hurt by the curve
  25. Missing Bill Clinton’s speech because you have class
  26. TAs
  27. Sending a well-formatted email to your professor and getting a one word reply
  28. Getting rejected from the GAAP group
  29. That one kid who incessantly posts in the GAAP group
  30. The GAAP group
  31. LL Lau
  32. Getting stuck behind a tour
  33. Roommates who snore (in which case, try this)
  34. Lecture captures
  35. GoCard swiping machines not working
  36. RATS

    rats
    Not amused, personally
  37. Having a final on the last day of finals
  38. Georgetown Cupcakes lines
  39. When the professor shows up seconds before the class would have been cancelled
  40. Getting the snow day email after you’ve already gotten out of bed
  41. Having to give directions to a lost stranger on campus
  42. DC’s humidity in the summerdamn hot
  43. Trying to get a timely appointment at the Student Health Center
  44. The fact that we don’t have a metro stop
  45. Our NCAA appearance this year (lol)
  46. Hoverboards being banned on campus
  47. Class in Walsh and St. Mary’s back-to-back
  48. Seeing 38592740372 pictures of cherry blossoms on Instagram
  49. Being haunted
  50. Nothing

In other words, the only thing worse than the housing system, is the housing system itself. Here’s to another year in Henle.

Photos/Gifs: flickr.com, giphy.com

The 10 Gifs You Need This Finals Season

finalsfrustr

‘Tis the season for crying and complaining. Welcome to finals, the Georgetown version of a state school frat’s hell week. Teachers aren’t clear, assignments are ridiculous and there is a .9 percent chance that you actually have all of the notes to make that study guide. Before you grab your hammer and start beating a hole into the wall of Lau, take a deep breath. 4E has compiled a list of 10 gifs that are sure to express your current anger and frustration. You’re welcome.

1. When your teacher assigns a take home test that is 100% impossible.

what-do-you-want

2. When your final is not cumulative, but also low-key very cumulative.

maddeningly-unhelpful-johnny-depp-gif

3. When all of your pens are out of ink, you run out of paper in your legal pad or your computer dies and you have no charger.

Addison Crying

4. When people are happy and smiling and all you want to do is throw hot coffee in their faces.

bd631f00-386b-0132-40ff-0ebc4eccb42f

5. When someone complains about having “so much work” when in reality they have one final.

Chandler-Shutup-Friends

6. When you dedicate 3 hours to an essay and then you have to change everything you just wrote.

PageImage-506984-4195983-alistnyryanuglycry

7. When coffee isn’t helping you anymore. Why have you failed us caffeine?

anxiety

8. When all your friends finish finals and you are the only one left in Lau.

Alone-in-the-rain-GIF

9. When someone asks you to do something during finals.

tumblr_m17b6w4I2D1r8fe7uo1_500

10. When you are #overit and it is still study days.

when-you-are-tired-of-explaining-something-over-and-over_666

See ya in Lau, baes. Don’t take it personally if I’m rude.

Photos/Gifs: http://awesomelytechie.com/; desperateandunrehearsed.wordpress.com; logspot.com; bustle.com; gifrific.com; hercampus.com; reactiongifs.com; http://gifsec.com/; tumblr.com; http://gifstumblr.com/; staticflickr.com

Quiz: Are You a SWUG?

anigif_enhanced-buzz-32577-1381523731-3

Ah, the age old question. Being a SWUG is an honor that not everyone can achieve. Across the country, and even across time, people have pondered this group of people and tried to earn this coveted status.

For all your NARPs (not defining that for you), “SWUG” stands for “Senior Washed-Up Girl.” That is, a person, typically female, who has seen her glory days pass her by and is content with living a life full of laziness and wine.

Do you have what it takes to be SWUG?

Photos/Gifs: buzzfeed.com