A Guide To Scamming the Most Out of Free Food This GAAP Weekend

Welcome to Georgetown, new Hoyas! Your friends at 4E are so excited to meet you next year! Before you  arrive, hopefully you’re going to GAAP Weekend so you can celebrate and learn more about us, regular ole Hoyas. If you are, here’s how to scam the most out of free food this GAAP Weekend.

8:30 AM on Friday – Go to St. Mary’s for breakfast. They without a doubt have the best spread. From fresh fruit to small pieces of banana bread, the NHS (School of Nursing and Health Studies for the newbies) has too much food and not enough people to share it with.

1:45 PM on Friday – For those who want to be extra ~cultured~ be sure to hit up the SFS for some Qdoba. However, if you’re not about that, then go to the MSB. If you have to venture into ~The Snake Den~ for anything, it might as well be good food from a fancy restaurant.

6:00 PM on Friday – Starving after Convocation and can’t wait the 30 minutes it will probably take to walk to Tombs and get food? Walk for 1 minute instead from Healy to the ICC for the Multicultural Reception! It might will definitely be the best food you’ve had all day!

9:00 AM on Saturday – You could go to Leo’s for breakfast, and it will probably  definitely be the best Leo’s you’ll have in your Georgetown career, or you could knock on an unsuspecting upperclassmen’s Vil A door and beg food from them. No doubt they’ll take pity on you and attempt to give you something better (choose the door wisely).

12:00 PM on Saturday – Want free food AND clothing? Come to Red Square so that clubs can inevitably try to bribe you to join once you get here! The free swag and food ranging from Hershey’s Kisses to slices of pizza will be worth it. I promise.

Your friends at 4E sincerely hope that this list has helped you to scam the most food out of your GAAP Weekend and make it one you’ll never forget!

Gifs: giphy.com

What to Do After Getting Rejected from Piano Bar

After everyone’s favorite grimy bar got raided a few too many times and decided to be a whole lot pickier about who they let in, a lot of underage Georgetown students are left wondering – what next? Where else can I spend my Wednesday nights partying? Is there another spot I can flock to on a typical dead Georgetown Friday night? While no one has come up with a perfect solution yet, here are 4E’s 7 alternatives to Piano Bar.

  1. If you’re still looking to go out and have a good time, try Chi Di! What’s one rejection when you can have two in one night? Have you gotten a little too comfortable with your fake? Definitely give it a go despite multiple texts reporting cops surrounding the club.
  2. A rejection from Chi Di not enough to kill your party mood? The next move is a random club in downtown DC. You’re guaranteed to meet people almost twice your age, and if you wait in line long enough, you might even get to realize that Ultra is not nearly as large as they make it out to be. 
  3. However, if you’re a homebody and trying to stay near campus, why not try CVS on Wisconsin? I’m not kidding; this place is a goldmine. They have everything from snacks, to makeup, to Donald Trump shot glasses!
  4. Why not make it an early night at Epi? Sometimes Epi is more lit than the party (or in this case, Piano) itself. You’re guaranteed to see at least one person you know (and you know you wanted that quesadilla more than you wanted to be sweating it out on the dirty dance floor of Piano anyway).
  5. If you’re the typical Georgetown student who likes to talk about how much work they have, but never actually does it, why not spend the extra time studying? I hear (but don’t know from personal experience) Lau is open 24 hours a day. You can probably get some quality work done, considering your of age peers will be enjoying the bar you couldn’t get into. 
  6. Go to bed. Literally every single time I ask someone how they’re doing, they say tired. Instead of taking laps around Piano and waiting for the bartender to notice you until 2 AM, why not get some quality sleep in? Maybe the next day you won’t have to ban your roommate from drying her hair so that you can nap (sorry, Chiara!). 
  7. Stay in! Why risk it? It’s much safer to be caught partying by your RA than by the police. Grab some friends and have a good old sleepover filled with rounds of “Never Have I Ever” and “Truth or Dare.” I promise you’ll learn more about them that way than shouting over Piano’s sometimes cringey, sometimes decent music. These are just a few ideas for what you can do after being rejected from Piano, but feel free to explore other alternatives. Whatever you decide, 4E hopes you stay safe out there in this newly dangerous Georgetown bubble.

Gifs: giphy.com

How to Throw the Perfect Inauguration Day Party

January 20th 2017 is an important date for two reasons. First, it marks the inauguration of our nation’s 45th President and ushers in a new and unprecedented era in American history. Secondly, and much more importantly, it’s an official Georgetown University holiday, which means that we all get to be MSB students for a day and share in the luxurious experience of having no Friday classes! So if you’re searching for a fun way to spend your day off, look no further: we here at 4E have got you covered with some tips and tricks for the perfect Inauguration Day party.

Find the perfect spot to host

When you’re searching for the right place to throw your Inauguration Day bash, we recommend you choose a different location from wherever you hosted your Election Night party a few months ago- after all, nothing ruins a good party faster than terrifying flashbacks! Your best bet in terms of location is definitely the Village A rooftop. While you can’t really see the Capitol building from the roof, you can see the Washington Monument, which we all know provides the perfect patriotic background for that inevitable Inauguration Day Instagram, which you’ll probably post with an original, hilarious caption like #MakeAmericaLITagain

Invite some VIPs

To quote our next President, your party can’t be full of “losers and haters,” so when it comes to making your guest list, be sure to go the extra mile. Actually, you don’t even have to go a whole mile- just walk the few blocks to John Kerry’s house and invite him to your awesome party. He obviously can’t RSVP to your Facebook event for security reasons, so your safest bet is definitely to just go knock on his door and ask him face to face. His secret service agents totally won’t mind as long as you remember to extend the invitation to them as well. In the meantime, wander around campus and you’ll probably run into frequent Dahlgren Chapel-attendee, Joe Biden, or Georgetown’s favorite son and America’s favorite almost-first-husband, Bill Clinton. And after this election cycle, these guys are definitely ready to kick back and party, so be sure to toss an invite their way.

Make a playlist

No Inauguration Day party would be complete without the musical stylings of Trump’s new best friend, Kanye West. After the craziness known as the 2016 election, I don’t think any of us would even be surprised at this point if Kanye somehow ended up with a Cabinet position. In fact, we’re calling it now: we think a Trump/West 2020 ticket is in our future (in four years, remember you heard it here at 4E first!). And if Kanye’s ascent into the political arena is imminent, we must enjoy his musical genius while we still can. So at your party, be sure to “Runaway” from your fears about the next four years, ignore all those fake news stories and focus on the “Facts (Charlie Heat Version)” and remember that we can still be “Stronger” together even though Donald Trump will soon have all that “POWER” to “Run This Town.”

Choose beverages wisely

If you’re still feeling patriotic and want to make a political statement at your party, follow President Obama’s lead by enacting your own symbolic sanctions against Russia in the most college-way possible: boycotting Russian-brand vodka. In terms of what you can realistically afford, this basically means no Russian Standard and no Stolichnaya. Don’t worry, Smirnoff doesn’t count. If you’re looking for an alternative, we here at 4E recommend everyone’s favorite delicious (and American-made!) vodka, Burnett’s. For more information on this flavored poison refreshing beverage, check out some of our diligent research here.

There you have it: a few simple tips and tricks to make your Inauguration Day one to remember. And finally before we go, if you’re reading this, Mr. Trump (and based on your bizarre social media habits, there’s sadly good chance that you actually are), we wish you luck. Despite our differences, we hope that you prove us wrong and use these next four years to help lead our country in the right direction. But in the meantime, we here at 4E will continue to contribute to the “crooked media” by low key roasting you on a regular basis. Here’s to the next four years, neighbor.

Gifs: giphy.com, teepublic.com

President-Elect Donald Trump’s Cabinet Picks Celebrity Apprentice Version

trump cabinetIt has been a little over a month since our nation elected our 45th president, and slowly but surely, our country is accepting the results. President-elect Trump has just about finalized his Cabinet, leaving many Americans equally disillusioned. With that being said, I am not here to comment on politics or on the choices our President-Elect has made, but rather, to offer my opinions on who he should have appointed to Cabinet positions from his wildly successful television series, The Celebrity Apprentice. I whole-heartedly believe these “celebrities” could do the job better than anyone our future president could nominate.

Education Secretary: Lil Jon

Who could be a better Education Secretary than Lil Jon? With a high school education under his belt and a grasp on the English language so strong he was able to come up with the party-shattering lyrics:

“Fire up that loud
Another round of shots

Turn down for what?” (repeat 5x)

This man clearly knows what a good education is all about. All jokes aside, he could do wonders for schools’ fine arts programs.

Secretary of Health and Human Services: Lisa Rinna

The clear pick of all former cast mates is Lisa Rinna. This woman knows what she is talking about in regards to surgeries. She is an admitted fan of Botox and can talk about lip injections more knowledgeably than a plastic surgeon.

Secretary of Transportation: Khloe Kardashian

I would like to start off by saying the Kardashians are practically America’s royalty, so obviously one of them needs to be in our government. Khloé should be a go-to pick for Trump, considering she knows a thing or two about expensive cars and private jets.

Secretary of Treasury: Teresa Giudice

Another no-brainer: why wouldn’t we want Teresa Giudice in charge of the Treasury? She went to jail and learned her lesson about fraud and tax evasion, so who better than to manage our nation’s wealth? If anyone knows anything about the importance of healthy finances, it is this woman.

Secretary of Defense: Piers Morgan

Have we all seen Piers Morgan’s Twitter attacks on Chrissy Teigen? I mean honestly I would not want to oppose this guy. All it will take is 140 characters for him to bring down Putin.

Administrator of Environmental Protection Agency: Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi

Similar to Teresa Giudice, I think Snooki would be an excellent addition to our nation’s Cabinet considering she has learned from experience. After PETA put Snooki on blast for dyeing her dog purple, I truly believe she is a reformed woman and would do our nation well by serving as Administrator of Environmental Protection Agency.

Administrator of Small Business Administration: Stephen Baldwin

As the not as famous Baldwin brother, Stephen knows what it is like to deal with “less.” Less fame, less fortune, less popularity. Therefore, who would be better-equipped than to deal with small businesses, who, let’s face it, cannot compare to corporations like Microsoft and Apple, than Stephen Baldwin?

Ambassador to the United Nations: Sharon Osbourne

The clear pick is Sharon Osbourne. She has a British accent, need I say more?

So who will be President-Elect Trump’s Secretary of State appointment? Your guess is as good as mine, but if we’re going by The Celebrity Apprentice cast, my vote would be for Kevin Jonas because, come on, who wouldn’t love a Jonas in the spotlight again?

Gifs: giphy.com

4E’s Guide to Spotting a Freshman

freshmanFreshman year is described as a “time of transition.” It is almost like a second awkward stage since you have to adjust to a completely different lifestyle (except hopefully you’re rocking a better haircut this time around). Perhaps the biggest “no-no” of being a freshman is looking like a freshman. Here are five obvious ways to spotting a freshman.

1. Still Reps Their High School Gear

Yes, your school might have provided you with endless Nike and Under Armor apparel, but perhaps this is best left at home so that you can pledge your allegiance to your new school: Georgetown University. On the other hand…

2. Wears Head to Toe Georgetown Clothing

We get it, you go here!!!! We know how hard you worked to get here and understandably, this comes with quite a bit of school pride. But maybe just pick the Georgetown sweatshirt and don’t go for the full on HoyaSaxa sweatsuit (including Georgetown hat and socks).

3. Wears a Lanyard with a Key Around Their Neck

Much like an ugly haircut during your awkward stage, this is simply a phase every freshman goes through. Learn from it and move on is all that I can say.

4. Actually Dresses Up for Class

No, this is not the Oscars, nor is it another Kardashian wedding. This is class (i.e. a time to catch up on sleep learn). You do not need to wear the finest clothing in your wardrobe. Please take note that athleisure is a trend people!

5. Only Travel in Packs

Have you ever seen a freshman by himself/herself? Probably not. There is safety in numbers and freshmen simply have not learned the concept of independence. We get it! You’re new here and don’t want to look stupid alone. We promise no one is judging what you’re doing; we’re all too busy worrying about whether or not Kim Kardashian will ever return to social media or if Brad Pitt will get more than a monthly visit with the kids.

If you spot a student with one (or all) of these attributes, you can be certain they are a freshman. But hey, go easy on freshmen: you either are living it or have lived through it. The same way you wouldn’t want 4E to investigate your middle school years, freshmen don’t want to be ostracized by their older, significantly cooler peers.

Gifs: giphy.com

The 5 Types of Parents and Family Members You Met at Parents Weekend

Banner - Parents WeekendIt has been seven weeks since you left home to come to Georgetown. Whether you are returning for another killer year or are a first timer on the Hilltop, it is still hard being away from your family for seven weeks, which is why Parent and Family Weekend is a much welcomed affair. Here are the five types of parents you probably met during the course of the weekend:

1) The One Looking to Get Drunk With Their Kids

For this guy/gal, the opportunity to relive their glory days is too good to pass up. He/she had a great time in college and is looking to recreate the memories, only this time, their children will be present. What could be better (worse)?

2) The One Who Asks Way One Too Many Questions

This is the parent who could have looked up all of the info online, but would rather ask in person ensuring everyone’s annoyance. Before receiving an answer to one question, they are already onto the next. No matter how stupid the question, you better believe they will ask it.

3) The Alum

Yes, their son/daughter might have been living here for at least the past seven weeks, but this parent knows it better because they went here in the 80s. If they are not the one giving the tour to the family, they are definitely the one regaling the family with their “crazy” memories.

4) The One Who is Ready to Move in

This parent loves his or her kid, but might love Georgetown even more. They frequently mention loving the atmosphere and a willingness to give up everything to move here. Whether it’s nostalgia for the college years, simply love for everything that IS Georgetown or just really missing their kid, you’d better make room in your already cramped VCW for a surprise move-in.

5) The Sibling

Sure, they were excited to reunite with their sibling and explore the campus, but they were asked “Are you gonna apply to Georgetown?” a few too many times to enjoy the weekend.

So there you have it. Perhaps you met one, if not all, of these parents or family members this weekend. But what else is there to say besides: we at 4E LOVE our Georgetown parents and families!!!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, usnews.com

7 Types of Rejection at Georgetown

Rejection at Georgetown

If you’re a student at Georgetown, rejection is no stranger. Of course, there’s the most obvious definition of rejection of being turned down by someone who is probably wayyyy out of your league. But there’s another kind that floods your email the start of every semester. That just comes with being a Hoya. Shall we begin?

1. We must first cover the most basic form of rejection. No, that guy/girl did not want to bring you back to his/her dorm from Vil A.

2. When it’s actually harder to get into Georgetown Clubs than it is to get into Georgetown…or Harvard.

3. When you apply to breathe the same air as Michael Phelps, but they didn’t want your ugliness to ruin the shots. Welp, hah! He wasn’t even there.

4. When you’re at Leo’s during its off hours and there’s not even shredded lettuce left. Apparently, even Leo’s doesn’t want to comfort you.

5. When you ask to see your Professor during office hours and he introduces you to his 20-year-old TA.

6. When you go to Brown House and even your 10:0 girl ratio just isn’t good enough.

7. When you finally run into Jack the Bulldog, and his walker says, “No, pictures with Jack. Or touching.”

And there you have it, folks. Don’t forget to stay awesome.

Images: giphy.com, http://bit.ly/2eblaa0

An Ode to Leo’s Brunch

an ode to leos brunch

At 4E, Leo’s brunch has a special place in our hearts. So in honor of our love for this special occasion, here is an Ode to Leo’s Brunch.

A whistle blows outside the window,
Sun streams over my eyes.
Good God, is it noon already?
Well, I guess that’s no surprise.

The morning pat down commences.
iPhone, wallet, GoCard? I’m clear.
“Wait, this is Harbin 7, right?”
— Confirmed; roommates’ snores are near.

Roomie, we’ve gotta get up, I say;
Another Sunday has come to scare.
“I must go to Lau!” she cries suddenly!
I laugh and reply, “Don’t you dare.”

It’s time for brunch, I remind her,
Visions of tater tots dancing in my head.
“C’mon, the group chat’s blowing up!
Off to Leo’s; get out of bed!”

A familiar odor greets us,
as we saunter through O’Donovan’s door.
There’s that familiar look Suru gives us;
it screams “You look like you slept on the floor.”

Jeez, I just burped up Burnett’s, I lament;
cold water is what I need.
But the line for food reaches the staircase!
Patiently, we wait; it is our creed.

Scrambled eggs, pancakes, and tots! Oh my!
Surely we don’t deserve this feast.
The digits of my tuition bill pop into my brain;
seconds are necessary, at the very least.

The Sunday sermon commences, as Saturday night is sewn together.
“You did WHAT?” is the typical cry.
“No, I swear, check her Story. You can’t make this sh*t up.”
“Wait, I DEFINITELY know that guy!”

There are laughs, there are screams, there are guffaws about;
the muffled chair-scrapes signal plates refilled.
“Oh God, it’s 2:00,” one friend sighs to me,
And with that, the mood has been killed.

We decidedly tread home, successful troops;
mission accomplished without a doubt.
Reality hits, and sadly, we separate;
Off to Lau, my conscience shouts.

Another weekend, come and gone;
Monday looms; academics are near.
But at least we have Sunday Leo’s, and the friends who make it great;
until next time, lest other options appear.

Gifs: giphy.com, http://bit.ly/2e2oGEM

Dating on a Budget 2.0

love on a budgetI hate to be the one to say it, but we’ve reached that inevitable point in the semester: The honeymoon phase is quickly coming to a close.

Darties give way to office hours, highly-anticipated outings to Chi Di become procrastination-heavy nights in Lau, and perhaps most importantly, that abundance of Flex Dollars and summer-job money turns into asking the cashier at Snaxa to try your card one more time because you’re pretty sure you have another 75 cents on it. But fear not – just because your bank account is having some serious troubles, doesn’t mean that your love life has to suffer too.

Here are some of 4E’s top picks for dating on a budget here at Georgetown. Whether you’re a freshman struggling to find affordable options in a town that seems full of Café Milanos and 1789s, or a senior looking to spice things up while also saving money for when your parents cut you off in a few months, this is the guide for you.

  1. Quick Pita: The perfect spot for all you late-night lovers out there. Head on down to the corner of M and Potomac any time before 2 a.m. and split an order of the best fries in Georgetown for just $3.59. Make sure to take advantage of mood music while you’re basking in the glow of the fluorescent lights and the neon “Open” sign. The owners have been known to slow it down with some Beyoncé and Usher after midnight.
The typical 2 AM scene at Quick Pita
The typical 2 a.m. scene at Quick Pita

2. Kehoe Field: While “technically closed” for now, you can still take a romantic stroll up around Yates and onto one of Georgetown’s hidden treasures to catch a breathtaking view of campus. The whole forbidden aspect will make your date that much more exciting, and you can show that special someone your dangerous side by daring to explore the “unfit playing conditions.”

Pro tip: Flaunt your affinity for animals by attempting to pet one of the many deer that frequently visit the field.

3. People watching at Epi: This one’s pretty straightforward, but sometimes simplicity is key. Get yourselves some free water cups, snag a cozy booth, and watch the drunken shenanigans of your peers unfold. You know what they say: Nothing brings two people together quite like watching a mutual friend devour a quesadilla and then trip over a chair while attempting to sprint to the nearest restroom.

I have actually seen someone do this exact maneuver on an Epi table.
I have actually seen someone do this exact               maneuver on an Epi table.

4. The Waterfront: Sequoia is home to a beautiful outdoor light display, which means that loitering on one of the benches outside the restaurant is basically the same experience that their outdoor seating provides. You’ll enjoy all the ambiance of a five-star restaurant with none of the cost!

Pro tip: Plan ahead and expand your loitering horizons during the holiday season by sitting and admiring the Christmas lights outside of Starbucks or Fiola Mare, all while still never opening your wallet.

5. Lau 5:  While Lau 2 may seem like the obvious choice for a conversation-filled date night, the strictly-enforced no-talking policy on Lau 5 will create plenty of opportunities for you to get close to that special someone as you whisper about tomorrow’s Econ test.

Pro tip: Use your study break to take a silent stroll through the stacks together. Be sure to show off your studious side by pretending to have read some of the random books you come across.

 

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com 

Bed, Bath & Beyond Blacklisted: The Unofficial Back to School List

Back to School List

As most of you are packing up your rooms at home or just moving out of your apartments from your internship/summer job days, you’re probably asking yourself: “Am I missing anything?” While this packing process is quite overwhelming, the answer to that question is “Yes.” Yes, you are definitely missing a few back-to-college essentials that we can GUARANTEE you haven’t thought of.

If you are returning to the Hilltop, you may have realized that these items were necessary for your first few days at Georgetown, but for those of you who are new, you will be happy that you came across yet another 4E guide!

Here is our ~unofficial~ back to school list: 

Bottle-opener key chain: This item is essential for two reasons.

1. You need something to put your new dorm key on because you do not want to lose it! That $100 lost key charge could be better spent on Wisey’s sandwiches and Saxby’s cold brew! Also, you should probably lose the lanyard A$AP (that’s just 4E’s advice).

2. Once you have ditched that pesky lanyard you got at NSO, a bottle opener key chain will def prove handy when you are out and about “exploring” Georgetown.

This is NOT the guy who gets invited back next weekend. You've been warned.
This is NOT the guy who gets invited        back next weekend. You’ve been                                warned.

Extended phone charger: This item may not sound very cool, but trust me, it is essential when you know you’ll be either sleeping in bunk beds or lofted beds for the next few years. There is nothing worse than having to wake up with no battery on your phone or laying in bed and having to get up to charge it. #FirstWorldProblems

A big-a** bottle of Advil/Ibuprofen: This, my young friends, will be your saving grace. While you should drink water instead of resorting to Advil for those headaches (we won’t discuss how you got those!), we just recommend you have some a lot at hand. You will thank 4E later.

“Uh, and if you don’t know,                                now you know…”

Anything but a mesh trash can: Put quite simply, there will be some unsightly things entering that trash can this year. You don’t want anything leaking on the floor now, do you?

A 21-year-old “friend”: I don’t think I need to explain why this connection is something essential when stepping onto campus as an underclassman.

BETTER YET!

A fellow freshman with an older sibling at Georgetown: Who better to inform you, you youngin’, of the ins and outs of Georgetown than a living, breathing Hoya? (Answer: 4E, duh. We have all the answers.)

Blotting papers: Listen up – everyone will benefit from purchasing a pack of these to slide in your wallet. D.C. humidity is NOT – I repeat – NOT a joke. Things get sweaty real quick. Stay on top of your game. A great way to earn friends is to ensure they remain as put together as one can when braving the 85 and muggy temperatures of the Hilltop nightfall.

A Costco size jar of Nutella: Take it from someone who knows; there is nothing better to late-night binge eat than a heaping spoonful of Nutella. Unless that spoon has previously been dipped in some Skippy and you’re now slathering the entire mess onto a Double Stuffed Oreo.

Felt this in my loins.
Felt this in my loins.

A taste for the finer things: Leo’s brunch and plastic bottles of Burnetts now await you. Gone are the days of buying an 18-pack of Bud Light at your town bodega. Natty Light is your drink of choice now. Get used to it.

We are 99 percent sure this scene was actually shot in Leo’s during Sunday brunch hour.

A dictionary: However, in this case, a Webster simply won’t do. Brush up on your Georgetown lingo before arriving on the Hilltop with this 4E helping hand. Who’s lost in translation? Not you!

Your best smile :) It’s like Annie always said, “You’re never fully dressed without a smile!” The best years of your life await you. Greet them with open arms and you’ll reap the benefits.

Images: giphy.com, http://bit.ly/2biBWVK