36 Questions That Lead to Love at Georgetown

We’ve all heard it before; heck, those lucky guides in Blue & Gray tout it as one of the shining moments of a campus tour, delivered while standing in front of historic Dahlgren Chapel:

“Why yes, 60% of Hoyas do marry other Hoyas!”
*Guide shares a knowing smile with mom in crowd nudging her clearly uninterested son.*

Incredible, right?

Perhaps you’ve met your other half here on the Hilltop; maybe you’re part of the rumored 40% who will *enter dramatic music* meet your significant other after leaving Georgetown. 

Regardless, why not try finding love here now? Taking a page out of the New York Times Modern Love column, we at 4E developed…

The 36 Questions That Lead to Love at Georgetown

The 36 questions are broken down into three parts. As you complete each section, the questions will get more and more intimate. If at any point in the in the questionnaire you feel uncomfortable, you may cease and desist. If this is your decision, we at 4E ask that you leave your partner without any notice in order to ensure that you two will avoid eye contact if you ever just so happen to be crossing Healy Lawn at the same time ever again.

Why not ask that special someone to a coffee date, a romantic night at Domino’s Pizza or a stroll to the benches in front of Dahlgren Chapel, just to set the mood? Take a chance on love and ask them these 36 questions. After all, love doesn’t just happen; it’s a choice.

*Disclaimer: 4E is not responsible for any unsuccessful love stories, as this is not a scientific study backed by any supporting evidence. However, we will take full credit if you do find love using our methods. We welcome you to send all complaints and/or suggestions to dja54@georgetown.edu.*

Part I

  1. Given the choice of any person in the world, who would you like to be your “Problem of God” professor?
  2. Would you like to be Georgetown famous? In like a “mentioned on Georgetown Confessions” way? Or maybe in a “God, can you believe he wrote a confession about himself?” kind of way?
  3. Before putting in your order at the pasta line at Leo’s, do you ever rehearse what you’ll say to the jolly employee?
  4. What would constitute a perfect Georgetown Day for you?
  5. When did you last “accidentally” order two quesadillas at Epi for yourself?
  6. If you make it big in the real world, what will be the first thing you give to Georgetown’s campus that it so desperately needs?
  7. Do you have a secret hunch about why Rhino closed despite it’s undeniable earning power among Hoyas both above and underage?
  8. On the count of three, name your go-to Wisey’s order.
  9. What flavor of Burnett’s are you most grateful for?
  10. If you could change anything about your time on the Hilltop, what would it be?
  11. Take 90 seconds to tell your partner how Quick Pita positively impacted your life before its passing.
  12. If you could wake up tomorrow with the power to change one thing permanently at Georgetown, what would it be?
    Part II
  13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, would you want to know if you’re working at Goldman Sachs, Deloitte or Teach for America?
  14. Is there a place on campus you’ve dreamed of taking that special someone to for a long time? Why don’t you lead them to Reiss rooftop right now?
  15. Without naming any clubs you finally got into, classes you aced or the number of chicken fingers you can down on Chicken Finger Thursday, what has been the greatest accomplishment of your Hoya existence?
  16. What do you value more in a roommate: cleanliness or their number of housing points?
  17. What is your most treasured memory that occurred after 11 p.m. on a Thursday night?
  18. What is your most terrible memory that occurred after 11 p.m. on a Thursday night?
  19. Knowing that graduation is looming, what is stopping you from going after the Hoya that got away?
  20. What did/does your friendship with your freshman year roommate mean to you?
  21. Has your love and affection for our men’s basketball team, despite the heartbreak inflicted, had a positive effect on your Georgetown experience?
  22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive side effect of living in D.C. Share three items each.
  23. How tight-knit was your freshman floor? Do you feel that your freshman year experience on Darnall 6 was happier than that of most other Hoyas?
  24. On a scale of 1 to 10, how close are you with your dean?
    Part III
  25. Make three “we” statements with your partner. For example, “We at this bench have both stolen rolls of toilet paper from Regents and smuggled them out under our Barbour jackets.”
  26. Finish this sentence on the count of three: “I wish someone at Georgetown had told me … ” *Editor’s note – Do not both say your wish out loud at the same time. This will cancel out all wish-granting or time-travelling powers from the ghost of John Carroll who will be listening in from the clock tower.*
  27. Take turns sharing the basis, and then nitty-gritty details of the personal essay you submitted in your original Georgetown application.
  28. After taking one minute to dig through your memory bank, tell your partner about the first time that you saw them on campus. Be very honest as you explain what your first impression of your partner was.
  29. Share with your partner when or if this first impression changed.
  30. When was the first time you cried because Georgetown, in all its glory and madness, got the best of you?
  31. Tell your partner what you admire most about them.
  32. What, if anything, do you think Hoyas should care more about?
  33. Imagine that you are at the Lincoln Memorial watching the sunrise on the morning of your graduation. You will never again be surrounded by all your fellow classmates in one spot ever again. What is one thing you regret not having told someone, be they a friend or a face in the crowd who never became anything more?
  34. Why haven’t you told the aforementioned person what you think yet?
  35. Of all your friends, colleagues, professors, Jesuits or four-legged friends on the Hilltop, who are you most afraid of losing, metaphysically or metaphorically?
  36. Stand up and grab your partners’ hands in your own. Set a timer and stare into each others eyes soundlessly for 228 seconds, one for every year of Georgetown’s existence.

Thank you for your participation! Now get over to Tombs and laugh about how silly that was. Or, maybe it wasn’t. Best of luck.

Photos/Gifs: buzzfeed.com, giphy.com

Overheard at President Trump’s Inauguration

Well, it’s official: Donald Trump is The President of the United States. And while I’m sure all of you spent Friday, January 20th making signs for the Women’s March watching the inauguration ceremony, here are some of the best “Overheard at Inauguration” moments that you may have missed, courtesy of your friends here at 4E.

1. “Donald Trump, have my babies!”
-Yelled by a teenage boy during the Oath of Office

2. “This is the best day of my life!”
-A man without a jacket in the midst of the pouring rain

3. “I knew he was going to be President ever since the first time I  watched The Apprentice.

4. “Wait, I thought Ivanka was Trump’s wife?”

5. “If I knew he was going to win, I don’t think I would have voted for him.”

*as it started to rain*

6. Girl in the Crowd: “Rain Drop!”
Group of Trump Supporters: “Drop Top!”

As evidenced by that last one, there is still some good left in the world.  In the meantime, feel free to comment your own “Overheard” moments in the comments section below, because remember, there is (sadly) a good chance that the Leader of the Free World is reading this article as we speak!

Gifs: giphy.com

President-Elect Donald Trump’s Cabinet Picks Celebrity Apprentice Version

trump cabinetIt has been a little over a month since our nation elected our 45th president, and slowly but surely, our country is accepting the results. President-elect Trump has just about finalized his Cabinet, leaving many Americans equally disillusioned. With that being said, I am not here to comment on politics or on the choices our President-Elect has made, but rather, to offer my opinions on who he should have appointed to Cabinet positions from his wildly successful television series, The Celebrity Apprentice. I whole-heartedly believe these “celebrities” could do the job better than anyone our future president could nominate.

Education Secretary: Lil Jon

Who could be a better Education Secretary than Lil Jon? With a high school education under his belt and a grasp on the English language so strong he was able to come up with the party-shattering lyrics:

“Fire up that loud
Another round of shots

Turn down for what?” (repeat 5x)

This man clearly knows what a good education is all about. All jokes aside, he could do wonders for schools’ fine arts programs.

Secretary of Health and Human Services: Lisa Rinna

The clear pick of all former cast mates is Lisa Rinna. This woman knows what she is talking about in regards to surgeries. She is an admitted fan of Botox and can talk about lip injections more knowledgeably than a plastic surgeon.

Secretary of Transportation: Khloe Kardashian

I would like to start off by saying the Kardashians are practically America’s royalty, so obviously one of them needs to be in our government. Khloé should be a go-to pick for Trump, considering she knows a thing or two about expensive cars and private jets.

Secretary of Treasury: Teresa Giudice

Another no-brainer: why wouldn’t we want Teresa Giudice in charge of the Treasury? She went to jail and learned her lesson about fraud and tax evasion, so who better than to manage our nation’s wealth? If anyone knows anything about the importance of healthy finances, it is this woman.

Secretary of Defense: Piers Morgan

Have we all seen Piers Morgan’s Twitter attacks on Chrissy Teigen? I mean honestly I would not want to oppose this guy. All it will take is 140 characters for him to bring down Putin.

Administrator of Environmental Protection Agency: Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi

Similar to Teresa Giudice, I think Snooki would be an excellent addition to our nation’s Cabinet considering she has learned from experience. After PETA put Snooki on blast for dyeing her dog purple, I truly believe she is a reformed woman and would do our nation well by serving as Administrator of Environmental Protection Agency.

Administrator of Small Business Administration: Stephen Baldwin

As the not as famous Baldwin brother, Stephen knows what it is like to deal with “less.” Less fame, less fortune, less popularity. Therefore, who would be better-equipped than to deal with small businesses, who, let’s face it, cannot compare to corporations like Microsoft and Apple, than Stephen Baldwin?

Ambassador to the United Nations: Sharon Osbourne

The clear pick is Sharon Osbourne. She has a British accent, need I say more?

So who will be President-Elect Trump’s Secretary of State appointment? Your guess is as good as mine, but if we’re going by The Celebrity Apprentice cast, my vote would be for Kevin Jonas because, come on, who wouldn’t love a Jonas in the spotlight again?

Gifs: giphy.com

4E’s Favorite Leo’s Yelp Reviews

leos yelp reviewsEver since Georgetown announced its new plans for Leo O’Donovan dining hall, campus has been abuzz with excitement, anticipation and more than a few questions. Will lines be longer? How will Georgetown complete all of the renovations in just one summer? Who are those people in the model photos?

Whatever questions you may have, we here at 4E hope to help by compiling some of our favorite lines from the Leo’s Yelp page in support of the dining hall’s promising future.

Our first review comes from Lissa B., who in 2014 gave Leo’s one star, although like fellow Yelp-er, Rebecca, she wishes she “could give Leo’s 0 stars.” Lissa has more than a few complaints. She writes, “Most days after dinner I would get really horrible chest pains.” We’re sorry to hear that, Lissa!

Lissa also doesn’t fail to remind readers of Leo’s history of food poisoning: “Leo’s was responsible for poisoning a large amount of students in the fall of 2008… Unbelievable.”

Our next review comes from Andrea L. in 2015, who does not give a glowing recommendation. “Everything tastes like [poop]. Do not eat unless you’ve been starving for five weeks. DO NOT eat!!!!!” If you couldn’t tell by the 5 exclamation points, Andrea L. really does not want you to eat at Leo’s. Thanks for the pro-tip, Andrea.

Katia G. takes a more generous approach to her 2014 review, giving Leo’s 2 stars. She explains, “Two stars because I imagine prison is worse.” (Perhaps not, Katia G., as Aramark supplies food to prisons as well.) Katia does give a shout-out to the great Leo’s workers that 4E so greatly appreciates, saying that “The people who work here are adorable.” Katia’s review does end on a sour note, in which she describes the lower floor of Leo’s as “hell.”

Despite giving Leo’s a total of three stars, Hall W., a self-proclaimed college dining hall connoisseur of sorts, describes Leo’s as, “pretty terrible” in his 2016 review. In the review, Hall W. complains of long lines, “blah” food, and “flies floating in the drinking area.” Hall W. does however, provide a list of pros in his review, such as the “great view” and, of course, the “vast amount of ice cream options.”

Rebecca Y. begins her 2010 review with a similar approach to Katia G., as she writes: “If hell was on earth, Leo’s would be it. If hell had a gatekeeper, Anna at the Grab&Go station would be it.”

Rebecca goes on to give a lengthy 8 paragraph review rant about the quality of Leo’s food, which she tops off with the following remark: “Thank you so much, Leo’s, for failing health inspection every year, giving us norovirus and a host of other food-borne illnesses, robbing me of the nutrition and quality of food I need to get me through a tough day of classes/studying, and producing this nasty stench that clings to my clothes forever and ever.” There, there, Rebecca Y., we’re here for you.

Well, there you have it folks. If these Yelp reviews don’t make you excited for the new Leo’s, I don’t know what will.

Gifs/Reviews: giphy.com, https://www.yelp.com/biz/leo-j-o-donovan-dining-hall-washington-2 

Thanksgiving FAQs

thanksgiving faqsIf you’re anything like us, you’re probably #hyped to be heading home for Thanksgiving. This is the perfect time to sleep in, eat some home-cooked meals and try not to think about how you’ll be back to eating Pringles out of the vending machine on Lau 2 at 3 AM in a few weeks.

But most of all, Thanksgiving is the perfect time to catch up with your family. To make sure your dinner table conversations with your relatives go as smoothly as possible, we’ve prepared some helpful Do’s and Don’ts for answering those fun Thanksgiving FAQs:

1. “So, do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?”

Do: Laugh casually and say something along the lines of “I’m too focused on my schoolwork to have time for a girlfriend” as you try not to think about the fact that you’re supposed to submit an essay you haven’t started yet by midnight.

Don’t: Mention the guy you met on the Vil A rooftop on Halloween. Don’t mention the guy from that Henle party the weekend before either.

2. “How about that election?”

Do: Change the topic as quickly as humanly possible. “Grandma, have you seen these hilarious Joe Biden memes?”

Don’t: Ask your relatives who they voted for. There’s a good chance that those of you in Wisconsin, Michigan, and/or Pennsylvania won’t like their answer.

Don’t: Think about the next four years. Your crippling anxiety is sure to put a damper on dinner.

3. “Are you eating/sleeping well?”

Don’t: Mention that you ran out of Flex Dollars two weeks into the semester and have resorted to signing up for clubs that you have no interest in for the sole purpose of getting free pizza at their meetings.

Don’t: Draw attention to the fact that you’ve gained the Freshman 15 despite the fact that you’re a junior.

Do: Say “O’Donovan’s at the Waterfront is an enjoyable and delicious dining experience. I frequently eat things other than chicken fingers there.” and “The fourth floor of New South is a quiet and relaxing place to sleep. Our RA does a great job of enforcing the noise rules.”

4. “How are classes?”

Do: Throw around some complicated-sounding buzzwords you’ve picked up from your IR class. “Hegemonic stability theory” and “Neoliberalist perspective” are two of my personal favorites. This is a great way to reassure your parents that you’re actually learning things and your tuition is money well spent.

Don’t: Mention that you haven’t actually gone to IR lecture in weeks and you’re less than 60% sure of what your TA’s name is.

5. “What’s a Hoya?”

Don’t: Worry about the fact that it’s been three years and you still don’t have a good answer.

Do: Just say any random sentence that combines the words “Stonewall” “Latin” “Greek” “a long time ago” and “Jack the Bulldog”.

So there you have it: some simple Do’s and Don’ts to make sure your Thanksgiving is a great one. From all of us here at 4E, safe travels and Happy Thanksgiving!

Gifs: giphy.com

4E’s Fall Fashion Preview 2016

Banner - Fall FashionWe at The Fourth Edition take our look quite seriously. As I’m sure you saw, The Hoya released it’s Fall Fashion preview November 4th. As we were so inspired by The Hoya‘s theme of “Forever Young,” we pulled a copy cat move; not “Forever Young” but “Forever Free to Be Me.” Check it out:

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Meet our models.

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Sarah Reuter, Smolder Queen
Laura Bell, hipster Elle Woods
Laura Bell, Hipster Elle Woods
Caroline Bucca, stargazer
Caroline Bucca, Stargazer
Joseph O'Reilly, fuzzy wuzzy
Joseph O’Reilly, Fuzzy Wuzzy
Charles Fritz, The Lone Ranger
Charles Fritz, The Lone Ranger
Meg Lizza, Editor Extraordinaire
Meg Lizza, Executive Editor Extraordinaire

Reuter, our resident fortune teller, correctly predicted that 2016 would conclude looking eerily like 1994. Here’s her take on recycling fashion trends.

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O’Reilly, Fritz, and Bucca took a natural approach to our shoot.

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Yeezy? You frontin’? What?

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Safari on campus: Searching for the chill.

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Update: Chill located.

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Peace & Blessings.

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Please stop scrolling.

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Told you.

Photos: Alessandra Puccio, mashable.com

4E’s Guide to Spotting a Freshman

freshmanFreshman year is described as a “time of transition.” It is almost like a second awkward stage since you have to adjust to a completely different lifestyle (except hopefully you’re rocking a better haircut this time around). Perhaps the biggest “no-no” of being a freshman is looking like a freshman. Here are five obvious ways to spotting a freshman.

1. Still Reps Their High School Gear

Yes, your school might have provided you with endless Nike and Under Armor apparel, but perhaps this is best left at home so that you can pledge your allegiance to your new school: Georgetown University. On the other hand…

2. Wears Head to Toe Georgetown Clothing

We get it, you go here!!!! We know how hard you worked to get here and understandably, this comes with quite a bit of school pride. But maybe just pick the Georgetown sweatshirt and don’t go for the full on HoyaSaxa sweatsuit (including Georgetown hat and socks).

3. Wears a Lanyard with a Key Around Their Neck

Much like an ugly haircut during your awkward stage, this is simply a phase every freshman goes through. Learn from it and move on is all that I can say.

4. Actually Dresses Up for Class

No, this is not the Oscars, nor is it another Kardashian wedding. This is class (i.e. a time to catch up on sleep learn). You do not need to wear the finest clothing in your wardrobe. Please take note that athleisure is a trend people!

5. Only Travel in Packs

Have you ever seen a freshman by himself/herself? Probably not. There is safety in numbers and freshmen simply have not learned the concept of independence. We get it! You’re new here and don’t want to look stupid alone. We promise no one is judging what you’re doing; we’re all too busy worrying about whether or not Kim Kardashian will ever return to social media or if Brad Pitt will get more than a monthly visit with the kids.

If you spot a student with one (or all) of these attributes, you can be certain they are a freshman. But hey, go easy on freshmen: you either are living it or have lived through it. The same way you wouldn’t want 4E to investigate your middle school years, freshmen don’t want to be ostracized by their older, significantly cooler peers.

Gifs: giphy.com

The 5 Types of Parents and Family Members You Met at Parents Weekend

Banner - Parents WeekendIt has been seven weeks since you left home to come to Georgetown. Whether you are returning for another killer year or are a first timer on the Hilltop, it is still hard being away from your family for seven weeks, which is why Parent and Family Weekend is a much welcomed affair. Here are the five types of parents you probably met during the course of the weekend:

1) The One Looking to Get Drunk With Their Kids

For this guy/gal, the opportunity to relive their glory days is too good to pass up. He/she had a great time in college and is looking to recreate the memories, only this time, their children will be present. What could be better (worse)?

2) The One Who Asks Way One Too Many Questions

This is the parent who could have looked up all of the info online, but would rather ask in person ensuring everyone’s annoyance. Before receiving an answer to one question, they are already onto the next. No matter how stupid the question, you better believe they will ask it.

3) The Alum

Yes, their son/daughter might have been living here for at least the past seven weeks, but this parent knows it better because they went here in the 80s. If they are not the one giving the tour to the family, they are definitely the one regaling the family with their “crazy” memories.

4) The One Who is Ready to Move in

This parent loves his or her kid, but might love Georgetown even more. They frequently mention loving the atmosphere and a willingness to give up everything to move here. Whether it’s nostalgia for the college years, simply love for everything that IS Georgetown or just really missing their kid, you’d better make room in your already cramped VCW for a surprise move-in.

5) The Sibling

Sure, they were excited to reunite with their sibling and explore the campus, but they were asked “Are you gonna apply to Georgetown?” a few too many times to enjoy the weekend.

So there you have it. Perhaps you met one, if not all, of these parents or family members this weekend. But what else is there to say besides: we at 4E LOVE our Georgetown parents and families!!!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, usnews.com

Awkward

Awkward 2

Freshman year of college is like the first episode of New Girl or the sex-ed class in 5th grade- awkward. But it’s okay because you’re a freshman and you get to embrace this identity throughout all of those moments that make you cringe, want to dive into some water, put a bag over your head, etc. When you’re a sophomore it’s still pretty awkward and you have less of an excuse to embrace it (but you of course do anyway). Have no fear though because by the time you’re a senior, well you know what they say: it’s only awkward if you make it awkward. And well, you still probably are.

Anyhow,

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4E is ripe with a haul of self-proclaimed awkward experts. Had an awkward moment? It’s most likely that we’ve been there, and back, too many times. So for those times when you’re torn between hiding under the covers or breaking free out into the world, we’re here to push you toward the latter! Let us now walk you through a few scenarios and some strategies for conquering them.

1. First, the classic name game. You’ve met 1,000 people this year and you’ve remembered about 6 of their names. When the moment arises that you forget someone’s name, you can…

  • Proceed to cough various names in hopes that one will trigger their attention.
  • Find a reason to clarify the spelling.
  • Call them pal, Jack, Caroline, or Sarah, you have a 40% chance of being correct.

giphy-12. Next, you are walking behind someone that totally looks like that person that’s in that group with you. They’ve got the same hairstyle, cool shoes, and the same build. Rather than awkwardly walking directly behind them to class you jump ahead and start talking. But then you realize it’s not the person whom you thought it was. You can…

  • Run.
  • Continue to talk to them as if they were that person and imply that it is them not you who is crazy.
  • Introduce yourself and invite them to coffee because this could be the making of a
    perfectly awkward friendship.
  • Pretend you were talking to the imaginary person behind them.

3. A friend asks you on a date. You had just settled in for the night, aka you only have a t-shirt and underwear on and you hear a knock at your door, “So, I was wondering if you would want to get dinner later this week?” You can…

  • Shut the door in their face, go to bed, and apologize in the morning you thought you were having a nightmare.
  • Say yes, but call it a “friendly dinner” and continue to emphasize how excited you are for the “friendly dinner” all week.
  • Pretend you no longer speak English, and mistakenly thought they asked if you had any extra socks. Proceed to hand them socks.

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4. An actual date. Let’s say it was coffee. Here we shall focus on the goodbye. You just departed Saxbys and are heading in the opposite direction of your date. You can…

  • Keep as much distance as possible so that by the time they go in for a move you are
    halfway up O Street.
  • Go in for the handshake. Bold. Sends a message that you’re serious.
  • The usual, “Let’s do this again sometime,” followed by the expected response of a nod
    of the head and one resounding “Yeah, totally, for sure.” (*thanks but no thanks).

5. Your professor overhears saying something you would rather them have not heard.This could be anything from the Saturday night that you wish to never relive, to how you haven’t done in the reading all semester. It’s all awkward. You can…

  • Go to office hours, kneel on the floor, and plead your apology.
  • Act like you were acting out someone else’s life and proceed to talk about all of the
    studying you did this weekend.
  • Wallow in your embarrassment and never go to that class again.

6. Alas, the person you’ve been seeing asks ‘what you guys are.’ You can…

  • Just show them this, or act it out.

gifs: giphy.com

An Ode To Brown House

Banner - BrownHouseFor those of you who haven’t yet heard some of the worst news to ever arrive to a Georgetown student’s ears, Brown House will no longer house students next year. So, without further adieu, here is 4E’s ode to this magnificent Georgetown party scene staple:

There you are, brown bricked, standing high and tall

Gracing N St. with your presence for all,

Forever in our hearts and in our minds-

For freshman year you were one of the greatest of all finds,

Brown House you will be dearly missed-

For when we heard the provost office claimed you, we bawled in fits,

Who will appreciate your walls for dancing?

Who will be there late into Saturday night for dance floor romancing?

The Provost’s office, man, what do they even do?

Certainly not host parties, Georgetown’s social glue-

On campus there will be one less place for freshmen to crawl,

One less place to find bouncers with which to brawl,

Your sticky floors will never be the same-

The tidy little Provost is going to make you so lame,

I never did dare go pee when there,

One of many memories we will never be able to share,

But don’t feel too bad Brown House; you’ll always be in our heart-

For your legacy among Hoyas shall never depart

Photo: girlfriendsgetaway.files.blogspot.com