Welcome Back!

The trees on Prospect Street are starting to change color. The NSO horde has descended upon campus, tasked with welcoming over a thousand new students. Jack the Bulldog is on his way home from a restful summer vacation in Turks & Caicos.

In other words, the start of a new school year is here.

View into a typical apartment/dorm room the night before classes start.

We’ve been away for a while, so 4E has placed several investigative journalists on the scene to inform you, our readers, about the current state of life at Georgetown.

1.  Late Night Leo’s is back. This reporter got eyes on a top-secret Dining Committee meeting in which, praise be, it was confirmed that Leo’s will be both extending its evening hours AND its daily breakfast hours. Things are really looking up. How to take advantage of this upgrade: take your significant other on a romantic date in the sensual ambiance of post-9pm O’Donovan’s on the Waterfront.

You back on your “Eat, Pray, Leo’s” bulls***.

2. Senseless construction projects continue to reign supreme. This reporter has gathered several receipts on the noisy, bothersome operations that disrupt the usually mediocre idyllic standard of life at Georgetown. From the Hospital Pavilion to the perplexing gated area in front of Regents, prepare yourselves for a year of getting woken up early by drill sounds.

“A Quiet Place” but the monsters are construction workers disturbing your drunken slumber.

3. Coming Soon: Big Mouth Season 2. 4E’s favorite Hoyalumni, John Mulaney and Nick Kroll, have been killing it with their stand-up specials, Broadway shows and overall hilariousness. The former GU Improv duo made puberty the ~butt~ of many jokes with Netflix’s Big Mouth. Lucky for us, more is supposedly coming our way this fall. Be sure to binge watch instead of studying for midterms. Its what John and Nick would have wanted.

Freshmen using their fakes at Opera for the first time.

4. Rats. They’re everywhere. Returning students are generally desensitized to the presence of rodents on campus, but it feels like they’ve come back with a vengeance this year. This reporter was personally victimized by several SCREECHING critters on the way back from LXR last night. Just throwing it out there—there’s no shame in taking a SafeRide from ICC to Vil A to avoid them.

Walking out of Lau at 2 am like…

5. LIL DICKY is coming to town. Not ~technically~ a Georgetown-specific event, but if you haven’t bought tickets yet for his November 6th show, GET THEM NOW. I’m totally not writing this so I can DM him and tell him that I personally sold tickets on his behalf, causing him to fall in love and have beautiful Jewish babies with me.

 

Honorary AEPi member

6. Kirstjen Nielsen. While most of us were topping off our tans and drinking vodka lemonades, this Georgetown grad spent her summer separating families and interning children in “tender-age facilities.” I can’t *smh* enough about the work of Kirstjen and her fellow #guilty alum, Mr. Paul Manafort.

What is tax fraud anyway, though?

7. Midterms! I’m not talking about the ones that give you a temporary ulcer and make you question the purpose of higher education. DC is about to be torn apart in a storm of political divisiveness, so hurry up and get yourselves Hillternships ASAP so you can watch it happen. Caveat emptor: you have to actually vote in order to participate.

Oprah for the House, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson for the Senate.

8. You’re still playing yourself. Georgetown may be one of the top schools in the country, but even great intellect can’t stop smart people from doing stupid things. Locking yourself out of your room for the third time in three days really makes you question the teachers who told you to dream big back in high school. Here’s to a year full of dumb mistakes…

You can always drink away the embarrassment.

Best of luck everyone! Hoya Saxa.

 

Sources: giphy.com, theanthemdc.com,

What To Do This Summer If You Don’t Have an Internship

So now it’s April and you’ve found yourself without an internship. You’re probably asking yourself: what exactly can I do this summer? Well believe it or not, there is plenty more out there than being a Hilltern or interning with your favorite consulting firm. We at 4E have a few ideas of what you could do with your non-internship filled summer.

Let’s begin with some classics. You could take classes, volunteer, work at a local ice cream shop or be a camp counselor.

Read a lot of books. This summer activity is commonly done poolside or at the beach. You could always go for the throwback and catch up on all that summer reading you never did in high school.

But wait, why not write a book? Better yet, why not compile a whole series? Not only will you find a way to pass the summer, but you may even become the next J.K. Rowling in the process.

I call this next category personal start-ups. In this day and age of media, there is so much fun stuff you can create. You could start your own blog: a food blog, a workout blog, a blog for your cat–the options are endless. A meme page could also be your calling, or maybe it’s one of those Twitter accounts where you pretend to be a famous person. Who knows? This summer is your chance to find your social media calling.

Train for an Olympic Summer sport. You may discover you’re actually really talented at canoeing, throwing a javelin or steeplechase. Then you have the whole summer to learn an Olympic sport to begin training for Tokyo 2020!

Challenge yourself. Try every ice cream flavor at every ice cream store within a 25 mile radius of where you are spending the summer. This activity will take a lot of perseverance, money and a very strong stomach. But we believe in you and advise you to always order a large small.



Start your coursework for Fall 2017. It’s never too early to begin your 1000s of pages of readings.
Okay this one is just too ridiculous. Please don’t do this.

Learn the fight song. Patrick Ewing was just announced as the new Men’s Basketball Coach, so you might want to go to a basketball game next season! Prepare yourself. And, if learning the song doesn’t take the whole summer, you can always learn the alma mater too.

Never leave your house. Not once. This will take lots of dedication and a long list of either books to read, shows to watch or walls to stare at, but you’re a Hoya and thus can accomplish anything you set your mind to.

Note: if you do in fact write a book, become a successful blogger, or eat at every ice cream shop within a 25 mile radius, please let us know, as we would like thanks and partial credit for your achievement.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, disney-planet.fr