Love Letter to the Witch Who Lives Under the Road Between Regents and Reiss

Dear Witch Who Lives Under The Road Between Regents and Reiss,

What’s cooking? No, literally, what you are cooking down there? There’s always this unhealthy amount of steam coming from the manhole, and I get that you have to feed your family, but I just wanted to check in. I tried understanding the construction email updates, but that requires knowing what things on campus are called. Anyway, I’m 90 percent sure they are going to close down that street sometime soon.

You sort of smell like a rusty harmonica mixed with whatever Florida smells like. Maybe add a little paprika? Oregano? The economy is doing pretty well right now; maybe you can move away from my early morning commute to bio. I don’t want to judge your family recipe, but I will call Child Protective Services if you’re secretly poisoning your children.

Or maybe you’re just a Vape God and enjoy hitting the juul, but instead of cool cucumber, it’s just the creme brulee pod. At least it smells just as bad. If that’s the case, though, I’m still concerned about you, because it looks like you’re addicted. You gotta take care of your pulmonary health, and being Thomas the Dank Engine all day is not a good look. And, heaven forbid you’re smoking that devil’s lettuce (not in my Christian neighborhood!!)??

Whatever you’re toking definitely borders on illegal.

Considering that you live between the sad, lonely uncle STEM building and the cool millennial mom STEM building, perhaps you’re just doing some strange science experiments. If that’s the case, there’s probably enough space for the entire biochemistry department down there. Usually when there’s a constant stream of gross-smelling, billowing gas coming out of a lab, that’s when you get help from your TA. Maybe try using the fume hood?

Update: I think they’re onto you: They’ve cornered you off like some biohazard, which I guess in retrospect, you could be. Whatever you do, just stay safe, witch.

Hoya Spooks-ya!

Sources: toptenz.net, 

Top 5 Disney Halloween Movies

Happy spooky season, y’all! Now that we’ve moved past the 80-degree October nights and we’re officially into sweater weather, it’s time to break out the pumpkin spice and the list of Halloween costume ideas I know you started in August (trust me, I did it too).

Besides giving college students another excuse to party excessively and dress in questionably appropriate outfits for three days (and the fact that there are now only TWO months left until Christmas), the best part about this month is the movies that come along with it. Growing up in the early 2000s means that we were all blessed with some of the greatest Halloween movies to ever exist. Now, I’m not talking about all those overrated and unreasonably gory horror movies: I’m talking about Disney! So, if you need some ideas to help you procrastinate that paper or simply something to put you in the spooky mood, here are our Top 5 Disney Halloween Movies:

5.  ‘The Haunted Mansion’

Any movie with Eddie Murphy in it automatically gets an A+ from me; I mean, have y’all seen Shrek?

4. ‘Hocus Pocus’

Who doesn’t love a classic movie about resurrection, magic and trickery?

3. ‘The Nightmare Before Christmas’

This movie combines two of the greatest holidays (Halloween and Christmas), and really, there’s not much more you need in life.

2. ‘Twitches’

Finding out that you’re a witch and that you have a long-lost twin sister all in a couple of days would be enough to drive anyone crazy.

1. ‘Halloweentown’

Honestly, I don’t think this one needs any kind of explanation. Marnie Cromwell is an icon, and I aspire to be half as ballsy as she is one day. While the first movie is by far the best, I think the entire “Halloweentown” franchise deserves recognition.

 

Sources: giphy.com.

Halloween Costumes for Hoyas From Every School

Fellow Hoyas, prepare yourselves. Spooky szn is descending upon us — and no, I’m not referring to the sudden ubiquity of dead rodents on campus.

That’s right: It’s almost Halloween, and if you’re not interested in frantically scouring the clearance bins of every store on M Street the day before ~Halloweekend~ begins, it’s time to start thinking. Luckily, you have us lovely folks at 4E here to guide you in picking the right costume to impress that cutie from “Problem of God.”

1. For the MSBro:

You’ve been wearing stiff suits every day, Birding from your dorm to the MSB to recruitment events and investment banking job interviews like a maniac. It’s time to let loose, Brad! Shed that Brooks Brothers jacket, kick off your Gucci loafers and go a little crazy. Hugh Hefner is the perfect costume for you this Halloween — comfortable and relaxed, but still on brand.

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This could be you, Chad!

What you’ll need for this costume: A silk robe and preferably some gray hair spray. The pipe optional, but respect that Hugh would never Juul.

2. For the NHS-er:

THIS IS YOUR TIME TO SHINE, NHS. You have the one thing no other school at Georgetown has: scrubs. Go as your favorite “Grey’s Anatomy” character — AKA literally anyone but Izzie — and carry around some lollipops for bonus points. Just be careful not to be too convincing in your costume, or you’ll become the de facto GERMS dispatcher of the night, holding back your friends’ hair near the bushes of Henle Village.

You, breaking it down at the Henle in total and complete comfort as all your friends complain about their costumes being uncomfortable.
When your friend slips on some soda and thinks they broke their ankle, you can put those freshman bio class #skillz to use and tell them to rally!

What you’ll need: scrubs, maybe some lollipops and your charming self.

3. For the SFS-er:

You need the world to know both that you’re in the SFS and that you are ~politically conscious.~ You don’t just get CNN notifications on your phone — you listen to podcasts and read think-pieces as you run from “Map of the Modern World” to “I-Trade” (both of which are SFS core requirements, which the SFS has a lot of, which you have to take because you’re…in the SFS). That’s why for Halloween you should go as the anonymous New York Times Trump op-ed! Intelligence and worldliness with a little bit of ~mystery~ is what you’re all about, and this is the perfect costume to show the world what ya got — and leave them wanting more.

That's REALLY reaching! Online retailer Yandy is selling a 'sexy anonymous op-ed' costume

What you’ll need: This costume exactly (and for people to know you’re in the SFS. That’s the Edmund A. Walsh School of Foreign Service, or SFS for short).

4. The College Kid:

While all your friends in other schools at Georgetown talk about their focus and their requirements and how their school is ~different,~ you have opted for a liberal arts education and greater breadth of majors/paths of study. You can’t be put in a box. Some might even say you … Can’t Be Tamed.

To capture the true variety of the College, grab a few pals from the largest of the undergraduate schools here on the Hilltop, and go as Miley Cyrus through the ages. The theater kid can embrace Miley’s performative versatility and go as Hannah Montana, while your JUPS major friend can be this new hippie Miley who meditates and enjoys her ~greens.~ There’s something for everyone!

What you’ll need: A few friends, some bleach to dye your hair and a readiness to stick your tongue out in every picture.

With these suggestions in mind, go forth and conquer those pre-Halloween costume-picking scaries! And if you’re really pressed and need a scary costume ASAP, write “70k” on a shirt and go as the scariest thing of them all: our tuition. Happy Hoya-ween!

Sources: giphy.com, esquire.com, dailymail.co.uk, savers.com

Alternatives to Trick-or-Treating on Embassy Row

Alternatives to Embassy Row

Every year, hundreds of college kids flock to Massachusetts Avenue to participate in the annual tradition of Trick-or-Treating on Embassy Row. If you’ve never been, it’s a great opportunity to sit extremely close to a stranger on the DuPont GUTS bus, meet students from your fellow DC Universities (“Oh… so you go to…GW?) and maybe even score some free shots of Smirnoff that the Russian Embassy ~supposedly~ hands out (they don’t).

But for those of you looking to spice it up and try something different this year, here are some of 4E’s alternative suggestions for places you should add to your Trick-or-Treating Route.

The Common Room on Any Floor of New South.
There is probably (possibly?) something edible in the refrigerator that you can add to your bag of goodies. Stop by and relive all those great Freshman year memories while you’re at it!

Any Corp Coffee Location.
They probably won’t give you free coffee or pastries if you just go to the register and say Trick-or-Treat, but you can definitely still score some sweets by helping yourself to some of their delicious free packets of sugar and Splenda.

Brown House.
Bang on the door until someone answers! Offer to help clean up the house and you’ll be sure to find some pieces of gum or the remains of an Epi Quesadilla that someone left on the floor from the party last weekend.

Your Professors’ Office Hours.
If you pay a visit to your Professor and immediately start uncontrollably crying about how you failed your last midterm, there’s a chance they might try to calm you down by offering you whatever food they have lying around their office.

John Kerry’s House.
Just go knock! The Secret Service agents will definitely not have a problem with this. Just be sure to have some light conversational topics on hand to chat about for when The Secretary of State opens the door to give you some candy, such as the 2004 election or the Iran Nuclear Deal.

But actually, you WILL be tackled by Secret Service.

We hope that you find these Trick-or-Treating alternatives helpful. Happy #Halloweekend from your fav blog!

Images: giphy.com, http://bit.ly/2fkeawa

So You Need A Halloween Costume?

Banner - CostumesWe’re almost two weeks out from Halloween, and even though we’ve been celebrating and talking about it since mid-April, it’s actually time to get ~serious~. If there’s one thing we all know for sure, it’s that Halloween isn’t so much about having fun as it is about getting a new killer cover photo or breaking 200 likes on your Instagram pic. With the help of 4E, you have four solid, not totally atrocious nor totally basic costumes to choose from. Better yet, they’re all tailored to Georgetown, so it reduces the likelihood that that one person you hate from your high school will be wearing the same costume as you. With one of these bad boys on, we wager you might even break, like, 300 likes.

 

1. John Carroll (Statue)

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To start off this list we have a Georgetown classic: the John Carroll statue. I’m tailoring this costume to specifically refer to the statue because I don’t know what John Carroll looks like in non-statue-form, and neither do you. Anyways, this one is great because you can decide how far you want to go with it, you can keep it simple and wear a long sleeve shirt and wrap a sheet around your lower half or you can go all the way to statue-mime-street-artist.

This costume will also buy you at least like 15-20 minutes of good, solid attention at any party you walk into, and once everyone is over it, just saunter right on to the next party.

*Sexy “John Carroll”: for girls this just means making the skirt shorter. For guys, no need for a sexy upgrade: the freshman girls will already be crawling up on you to take pictures with you. I mean, that’s what the John Carroll statue was intended for, right?

2. MSBro

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Does this one even need explaining? The multiple layers of polos (extra points for Vineyard Vines brand) are both warm and super stylish, the rest are lifestyle choices if you truly want to commit to the character. Alternatives include a SigEp shirt or even a Goldman Sachs zip-up you got from your internship over the summer. Both are great options.

Pursue this costume with reckless inhibition. Who cares that Halloween is on a Monday? You weren’t going to go to class anyways!

3. Jack the Bulldog

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A potential downside to this costume is that for the ladies, it may be slightly more difficult to stand out among the abyss of other animal-eared gals, especially when being a cat for Halloween is basically the same thing as wearing Stan Smith’s on campus…we’ve all done it and we’re all guilty. But whatever–the upside to this costume is that, like most animal-themed costumes, it’s really easy to make this sexy.

Dog ears + Georgetown crop top and maybe even some dog face paint (if you’re willing to try out that Instagram DIY against your better judgement) = perfect five minute costume and you’re not even going to have to use the snapchat dog filter all night!

Seriously, don’t use the dog filter with this costume, its too meta and you’ll probably end up looking something like:

 

4. Chesapeake Babe

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This is every Georgetown girl’s last minute costume. Just throw on your Lilly Pulitzer shift dress, Jack Rogers (obviously the gold ones), navy LongChamp (all which should have been included in your welcome package) and you’re good to go. Oh, and for the hair, just take the two pieces around your face and clip those bad boys together in the back. Bonus points: bring a Martha’s Vineyard windbreak in case, like, it gets chilly.

Sexy version: Try a two piece Lilly set; some of the skirts are seriously short and you can always throw on a monogram necklace or some Cartier love bracelets to spice things up.

Enjoy every moment because this is the one night in the Georgetown/DC area that you could stand out wearing any combination of these items.

Show up to the party with a few of your friends and start talking about Nantucket and how Exeter parties were so much better than the ones here:

If you don’t have something to wear yet, then you def need to get yourself together and take one of our suggestions. Don’t be too picky or you’ll end up wearing some stupid banana suit you got from a friend-of-a-friend under some bed in New South. Beggars can’t be choosers and these next two weeks are crunch time.

And in case you thought you finally found a Halloween-related post without a Mean Girls reference or gif: SURPRISE! Happy Hoyaween!

Photos/Gifs: pinterest.com, huffingtonpost.com, wikipedia.com, lilypulitzer.com, iwalk-free.com

The Top 10 Halloween Movies You’ve Probably Never Heard Of

Halloween-Scary-Wallpaper-2014Well, Halloweekend is quickly approaching, a time when you will reach both preak blood sugar and, most likely, blood alcohol content.

We all want a Halloweekend side bae, but finding that special person is difficult. Yes, there will be plenty of skeletons and witches, but you will most likely be unimpressed by their non-Georgetown themed costumes. We all know that a good side bae is one with a creative costume, like a sexy cat.

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While you could tell her how much her whiskers accentuate her cheekbones for hours, she will, hopefully, not be impressed and you will need to come up with your next move.

Well friends, the 4E is here for you. As everyone knows, asking someone to Netflix and Chill is the most sure-fire way to gain their favor. In the spirit of the holiday, we offer you a list of movie suggestions that are sure to both make you seem highly cultured, and make your beloved cling to you in fright.

The Top 10 Halloween Movies You’ve Probably Never Heard Of:

Ranked in order of increasing spookiness

1. Clue: This 1985 cult classic, based on the eponymous board game, is funny, campy and has enough double entendres to get your Netflix and Chill session started off right.

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Spooky Rating: 1 Pumpkin- Not at all spooky, despite the multiple murders.

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2. Rubber: A telekinetic tire rolls around killing people. Stylish and weirdly unsettling, this one will make you give that spare tire a second glance.

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Spooky Rating: 1 Pumpkin and 1 Ghost – In the words of the IMBD parents guide for this movie, “lots of humans and animals get blown the f*ck up.”

Apple's Jack-O-LanternApple's Ghost

3. A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night: An Iranian Vampire Western. If that alone won’t get you enough hipster movie cred, it’s also in black and white with subtitles. It’s a romance too, so you know, that helps.

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Spooky Rating: 3 Pumpkins – Black and white is spooky. So are vampires.

Apple's Jack-O-LanternApple's Jack-O-LanternApple's Jack-O-Lantern

4. It Follows: Imagine hooking up with someone, only to find out that you’re now being followed by a murderous spirit. And now imagine that the only way to get rid of this spirit is to pass it on to someone else. Scary, am I right?

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Spooky Rating: 2 Ghosts – There are some jump scares, and a spooky old woman.

Apple's GhostApple's Ghost

5. Let the Right One In: Another vampire romance, this time with kids. Bonus points if you watch the original Swedish version.

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Spooky Rating: 2 Ghosts and 1 Skull – Lots of gore. Lots of blood.

Apple's GhostApple's GhostApple's Skull

6. Teeth: This girl has teeth in, um, the worst place possible. Gives a whole new meaning to the word “maneater.”

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Spooky Rating: 1 Screaming face and 1 Ghost – Not super scary, but as I’m sure you can imagine, there’s some injury to body parts that might make half of the population uncomfortable.

Apple's Face Screaming in FearApple's Ghost

*Trigger Warning: This movie includes scenes of sexual assault*

7. Rosemary’s Baby: Roman Polanski’s 1968 horror classic makes me scared to ever buy an apartment. Plus: Young Mia Farrow. Minus: The actual devil. Bonus points if you call this one overrated, and can name at least one other Polanski movie you “think is better.”

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Spooky Rating: 2 Skulls – Incredibly unsettling without relying on jump scares or special effects.

Apple's SkullApple's Skull

8. Titicut Follies: A 1967 documentary that unflinchingly shows the conditions inside a Massachusetts hospital for the criminally insane. Hint: they’re not great. Fun Fact: It has a 100% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Word of warning though, don’t share this fact unless you actually know what that means.

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Spooky Rating: 4 Skulls – It’s scary because it’s real.

Apple's SkullApple's SkullApple's SkullApple's Skull

9. The Babadook: You remember those books you would have your parents read to you over and over again when you were a kid? Imagine one of those tries to kill you.

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Spooky Rating: 5 Skulls – Guaranteed to make your intended cling to you in fear. May also give you a permanent fear of books and children, which is slightly less desirable.

Apple's SkullApple's SkullApple's SkullApple's SkullApple's Skull

10. Antichrist: Full disclosure: I watched this movie in the middle of the day on my laptop and, for 70% of it, I had my hands over my eyes. Which is a shame because, as much as it will f*ck you up, this film is absolutely gorgeous. The realistic scenes of graphic genital mutilation can be a bit of a mood killer, so I wouldn’t recommend this movie for a first date.

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Spooky Rating: 2 Screaming Faces, 1 Devil, 4 Ghosts, and 3 Skulls – We had to make a new rating category for this movie because it is the absolute definition of 2spooky.

Apple's Face Screaming in FearApple's Face Screaming in FearApple's Japanese OgreApple's GhostApple's GhostApple's GhostApple's GhostApple's SkullApple's SkullApple's Skull

From all of us at the 4E, have fun, be careful and please don’t die this Halloweekend. Or do. It’s up to you.

Photos/Gifs: blogspot.com, tumblr.com, giphy.com, impawards.com, designbolt.com

Halloween Plans: On Campus Horror

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As Halloweekend approaches are you panicking for plans? Is Halloween more than an excuse to ~be somebody else~ and party for you? Are you’re still struggling to plan how you will get your cultured holiday dose of horror? Fear not! 4E knows the on-campus horror scenes that will allow you to find the fright you’re looking for!

Halloween in Georgetown

Here’s our official review on the top 10 terrifying places on campus:

1. The Club Storage Room. Not only is it obscurely located overlooking the drop off garage, but rumor has it one of the cages is completely empty with the exception of three items. A coach without legs, a singular Orgo Study Guide and a Ouija board — we’ll leave it to you to put that puzzle together.

2. The Leavey Tower. Not only is it decked out in “birds chirping maniacally” graffiti, but it is also home to the locked gate where you can go no further but behind the board into the wall if you so choose to be confronted by the gaping ten story drop (use caution; this is not a joke).

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3. The tunnels. (Check my avatar for proof.) They’re freaky. They’re everywhere. They’re full of pipes. Are we really a Hilltop? Or are we the product of built up underground tunnels? We say the latter.

4. The parking garages. Honestly, I can’t think of many more things that are scarier than being in the depths of a dark parking garage, without cell service or half a clue where the nearest exit is.

5. Jack the Bulldog’s Grave. Does it exist? Is he wrapped in a gold casket? Is he stuffed and looming over the highest bidding alum? We may never know, but the mystery will surely haunt us.

6. The Exorcist steps. You could fall! That’s all there is to it.

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7. Myaccess. The grades, the transcripts, dealing with that health insurance survey…

8. The hospital. Ever stepped just the hop skip and a jump past Darnall to enter the hospital pharmacy only to realize you’ve entered the real world? It’s quite frightful seeing that the Georgetown college campus bubble will one day send us into the world of medical bills and strangers.

9. The Copley Crypt. Go at midnight. Bring a mirror and spin around three times.

10. The Healy attic. Legend has it those dormers up there are home to a forever locked room where the exorcisms used to happen. What fun.

Healy Hall Georgetown University Early AM

images: google images, freetoursbyfoot.com

Who Wore it Better: 4E or Dogs? (Halloween Edition)

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Don’t you hate it when somebody steals your look, and that person is a dog. Check out these dogs who had the same costumes as 4E bloggers when they dressed up many Halloweens ago. Who knows, maybe these comparisons could inspire some looks this Halloweekend.

Polling has been disabled because we didn’t want to stress anyone out with this difficult decision. And we know, we were cute.

Who wore it better: Courtney Klein or this dog?

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Who wore it better: Annie Fraser or this dog?

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Who wore it better: Mike Radice or this dog?

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Who wore it better: Sydney Bolling or this dog?

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Who wore it better: Keaton O’Neil or this dog?

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Who wore it better: Tori Forelli or this dog?

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Who wore it better: Max Wheeler or this dog?

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Who wore it better: Catherine McNally or this dog?

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And, just for kicks, to end this post here is a picture of me dressed as a dog and a dog dressed as a human.

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Mind blown.

Photos/Gifs: poochieheaven.com; polyvore.com; dogguide.net/; millbryhill.co.uk/; etsystatic.com; s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com; thepartyworks.com; technocrazed.com/; poshpetcare.com

A Guide to #Basic Halloween Costumes

Halloween-Pumpkin-PicturesWell Hoyas, Halloween is almost here! In just a few short days all of the festivities will kick off for a weekend full of fun. Now, while many of you are probably stressing about the impending doom of midterms finding the perfect Halloween costume, Jane Hoyas across campus seem to have had their costumes ready for weeks. Why is this, you may ask? Well, that’s because they’ve resorted to wearing some variety of the most overused, #basic college costumes there are!

This lack of creativity isn’t to be overlooked, however, as many of these costumes actually say a lot about the person who opts to wear them. In order to help you understand the true meaning behind these basic costumes, 4E has compiled a list of costumes you’re more than likely to see this weekend and what they say about their wearer.

  1. Cheap Alcohol: You enjoy the finer things in life like top shelf liquor and boxed wine, which is exactly why you spent so much time putting your costume together. I mean, who else would be bougie enough to rock cut up card board boxes and plastic bottles? Extra bougie brownie points go to those of you who draw your inspiration from Sunset Blush Franzia or Pink Lemonade Burnett’s.
  2. Police Officer: You’re very concerned about the safety of your fellow Hoyas this weekend. In the event that SNAPS or DPS isn’t able to make it to Brown House to break up the party, you’re ready to step in for them. Just ignore anyone who tries to tell you that your plastic badge and handcuffs don’t give you any real authority, #peasants.
  3. Playboy Bunny: You’re just planning ahead for a future career. You know, in case that Georgetown degree doesn’t end up working in your favor.
  4. Mathlete: You take your studies incredibly seriously. I mean, you are a Georgetown student after all! Unlike all the Playboy Bunnies out this weekend, you plan on ending your night alone in your favorite cubicle on Lau 2. Nothing says “Happy Halloween” quite like getting ahead for all those upcoming midterms.
  5. Vampire: You believe that Bram Stoker is a true literary genius, so you use Halloween as an excuse to emulate Dracula. As an added bonus, you’ll seem totally edgy with fangs and fake blood!
  6. Black Cat: You honestly see yourself as a future cat lady, but you’re probably too shy to openly admit this. Instead you hide behind your painted on whiskers and cat ears, and embrace your spirit animal for one night out of the year. Alternatively, you may just be the most uncreative person ever.

Photos/Gifs: survivingcollege.com, tumblr.com, happyhalloween9.com

Georgetown-Themed Halloween Costumes

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It is that time of year again Hoyas, Halloween. Right now, you are most likely scrambling to find a costume that is both “cute” and “funny” — AKA the incredible feat. Why not rep Georgetown this holiday season? Here are some ideas to get the ideas flowing:

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1. A Go-Card. This costume is especially easy since we all have a model of what it should look like (unless you lost it). Steal a piece of cardboard from Prospect Street on Thursday as Friday is recycling day and there is bound to be something you can use. Grab some blue and while paint, and cut out a whole for your face. Extra points if you use yourself to swipe into a dorm.

2. The Omelet Lady. Does she still exist? I haven’t been to Leo’s in about a century. Nonetheless, she is for sure the most important person on this campus because she controls the omelets, AKA the only cure to your Sunday hangover. Carry around a pan, those little omelet order slips and scream “Get ya omelet” at everyone you see. Extra points if you bring me an omelet.

3. Georgetown Study Abroad Student. If you are a junior, it is very likely that a large majority of your friend group is off being “cultural” right now. Why not #TBT to them and go as a Italy/France/Spain/Ireland/Australia/WHATEVER study abroad student? All you need is a selfie stick and a “new found view of the world.”

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4. A Corp Barista. The easiest one on the list! If you have ever bought a coffee, tea, chai or whatever you fancy at a Corp location, you know the baristas have a certain style that will never go out of style. Throw on an artsy/hipster outfit (bonus points for overalls) and a backwards hat and you are golden. You should 100% carry around a coffee, as well.

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Photos/Gifs: giphy.com; tumblr.com; whicdn.com; instagram.com