Am I Too Old For This?

As you sip a Natty at a crowded pregame or wait in line for ~another~ Epi Quesadilla, some of you upperclassmen out there might be pondering a timeless question. To help you find answers, we here at 4E have compiled a list of ten things that you can and can’t do after your freshman year. So pause for a moment and ask yourself…

Am I too old for this?

1) Taking a basic picture of Healy Hall. We all did this within our first days on the Hilltop, and, though we cringe at others for snapping the famed clocktower, most still look at Healy in awe.

Verdict: No, but expect some judgement.

2) Going to frat basement parties. Though I have gone on my fair share of SAE Foxfield buses or Zeta Psi booze cruises, frat parties feel increasingly more like events for freshman. Please let my days of partying in a suspiciously wet Sig Ep basement be over. I would take a Piano Bar night filled with only adults over this. Enough is enough. That being said, the frat boys and pledge bros are still wonderful.

Verdict: Probably yes, unless you are in a frat, in which case, please attend your own events.

3) Waiting in the Georgetown Cupcake line. I didn’t even do this as a freshman because WHO HAS THE TIME?? Waiting 40 minutes for a $4 cupcake with too much frosting is never worth it.

Verdict: Yes, go to Baked & Wired instead.

4) Attending Jersey Night or Thursday Chi Di. Does anyone care?

Verdict: see you all there!!!

5) Getting lost on campus. Our campus is literally 1/18 the size of a state school’s, so I’m pretty sure you should know every building after a few months. Specifically, I mean people struggling with Maguire. I don’t understand why this is the specific location no one can find. The Jesuits are judging you!

Verdict: Get a map. Then again, it’s totally fine if we’re talking about the ICC.

6) Drinking Burnett’s. Not everyone is too old for this, but I can say with some certainty, while nursing my current raging hangover, that I should be upgrading beyond the likes of Mango Burnett’s. I am only too old for this in the ~health~ way. Will I give it up? Likely not — I have a budget.

Verdict: Yes, but who cares?

7) Referencing the Georgetown meme page. Judging by my alumni friends who find the meme page hilarious, there’s no harm in still talking about a classic “Everyone from Georgetown lives in New Jersey or Connecticut”.

Verdict: No, keep tagging away.

8) Village A Rooftop Parties. Power to you if you get there before GUPD shuts it down. Nevertheless, it remains a classic spot on Homecoming and Georgetown Day.

Verdict: Yep…  it’s never worth it to be honest.

9) Applying to clubs. While the process certainly becomes more cynical as you get older, you should join anything you want at any age. (I hear 4E accepts freshmen to seniors).

Verdict: No, college is about finding yourself and all that #wholesome.

10) ~Hanging out~ in a freshman dorm. Do you!!!!! Just be safe!!!!!!!!!

Verdict: Just don’t go to Darnall.

And with that, we hope you act your age!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, knowyourmeme.com

4E’s Guide To Maintenance Requests

The beginning of the school year means a lot of things: new faces on campus, new classes, expensive textbooks, and huge spiders crawling through a crack in your Henle’s windows.

Thanks to Georgetown Facilities for a tradition unlike any other — the semester-long battle for attention and repairs.

But don’t worry! Keep reading for 4E’s helpful 12-step program that’ll bring ‘ol Ron from maintenance right to your door:

1. Make a normal complaint on the Georgetown maintenance website.

2. After the expected lack of response, call (202) 687-3432. Is it maintenance’s phone number? No. They don’t have one listed. But I’m betting that custodial will redirect you to someone in our favorite elusive department.

3. Still nothing? Time to pull out every Georgetown student’s secret weapon: entitlement! Get your parents to start calling — and if they don’t threaten to halt their annual donation, they’re not trying hard enough.

4. Stop by the maintenance department and just cry. Don’t say anything; just bawl for at least 15 minutes. But don’t forget to stop for a quick sec around the 7-minute mark to clearly state your name and room number.

5. Go to Safeway (or Whole Foods – refer to step 3) and purchase flour, corn syrup, and a basic pack of food coloring. Mix 2 drops of red food coloring, 1 drop of blue and 1 drop of green together. Add a teaspoon of flour and 1 tablespoon of corn syrup.

6. Break shower head.

7. Apply mixture made in Step 5 to hair.

8. Document head “wound”.

9. Double down on your previous efforts, sending news of both the broken shower head and the resulting injury.

10. Wait for the knock on your door

12.  After maintenance fixes the shower head, demand a walk-through of the apartment, and detail every single flaw. Ask for cell phone numbers. Make follow-up appointments.

Hit up that maintenance worker’s cell anytime you have a problem!

So, really? It’s just networking.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, tumblr.com

4Eats: Falafel Inc. Debrief

Quick Pita died and has risen again in a new and improved form. While no Georgetown establishment will ever truly take its place, Quick Pita’s successor, Falafel Inc., sure does justice to our need for a delicious and frugal late-night spot. 4E went full Guy Fieri mode to give you a rundown of what you need to know about this new spot.

Here’s a quick guide to everything you care about:

  1. Prices: 10/10. You’d be hard-pressed to find a cheaper, more filling meal. There are plenty of bougie options in Georgetown, but this isn’t one of them. The price for the value is the best around. Both the main selections (falafel bowls and sandwiches for $4 each) and the sides ($3 each) are well-priced.
  2. Food (Variety): 8/10. While there aren’t many options on the menu, you can easily customize your order with the plethora of add-ins that are traditionally included for free (such as cabbage slaw, tomatoes, etc.). They also have some Middle Eastern specialties you’d have difficulty finding easily elsewhere, such as Barbican, a non-alcoholic fruit and malt soda.
  3. Food (Taste): 9.5/10. Definitely blows any other falafel I’ve ever had in D.C. out of the water. While a falafel sandwich is a pretty basic concept, Falafel Inc.’s execution is pretty close to flawless, and they put a unique blend of toppings that make the mundane falafel sandwich tasty and exciting.
  4. Food (Sauces): 9.5/10. There is just something spectacular about being able to smother a falafel in their garlicky habibi sauce. I don’t know what’s in it, and they probably wouldn’t tell me if I asked, but make sure to try this out (and all of the others, which are equally tasty) when you go.
  5. Ambience: 8/10. The inside of this place harkens to a refugee camp, and for good reason. The dimly lit, plywood walls truly create a unique atmosphere directly emulating the falafel shops in refugee camps. The only thing that would make it better would be more seating, but the lack thereof gives it a more authentic feel.
  6. Staff: 9/10. Very friendly people who work hard to get the food out quickly and correctly. It’s just hard not to think back to Quick Pita’s staff and wonder what ever happened to Sammy.
  7. Hours: 5.5/10. This is probably the only let-down, though the hours aren’t truly bad by any means. We’ve all been itn dire need of a piping hot pita around the wee hours of the night, and unfortunately Falafel Inc. closes at 11pm, making it a great lunch and dinner spot, but not so much a late-night post-game spot.
  8. Bonus: +0.5 for being FTR (For the Refugees). For every $10 spent, the shop feeds a refugee for a day by donating part of its revenue to the World Food Programme, so you can feel even better about having tahini drip down your face as you stuff yourself with falafel.

Final Rating: 9/10

While we all dearly miss Quick Pita, Falafel Inc. is more than worth a try (or several).

Photos/Gifs: washingtoncitypaper.com, giphy.com

Takeaways From a Semester at Georgetown

Congratulations! You made it through first semester (barely). But now you’ve returned wiser, crazier, somehow smarter and definitely fatter! This is what I’ve learned after my first semester of freshman year. Let’s go.

1. Clubs aren’t as big of a deal as they were first semester. If you don’t get into the clubs you want this semester, it’s honestly okay. You have friends now :’)


2. Ask a friend from MSB to print out that paper for you. We basically have unlimited printing. There’s no way we can use all 1,500 pages in a single semester.


3. There’s a method to falling asleep in class. Basically, after you meet eyes with the professor after dozing off, master this face for as long as possible:

4. Take every opportunity to explore and get involved in D.C. First semester is already over and before we know it, this year will be gone. College is short, so savor it.


5. There’s a bus to Safeway in front of Darnall that leaves every 20 minutes after 2 PM. You do not have to walk there.

I repeat:

You do not have to walk there.

6. If you haven’t stolen anything from Leo’s, you’re doing Georgetown wrong. Mugs, forks, spoons, 15 bananas, the panini press–whatever it is, take it. Except the waffle maker. Don’t ruin everyone’s day.

7. You will never stop running into that one specific hookup. It’s a given.

8. Your philosophy class probably sounds something like this:


9. On Thursdays in MSB, there are free bagels, juice, and coffee around 10 AM. Go and grab one, even if you’re not in MSB; it’s scheming time.

10. Time to hit the gym this time around!

And that’s it folks. We got this.

Photos/gifs: giphy.com

Word Wednesday: Cuffing

Oh baby, it’s cold outside and that means one thing: it’s “cuffing” season. What is cuffing you may ask? Well, this Word Wednesday 4E is about to educate you on this oh-so important word. You can thank us in advance.

According to notably credible source Urban Dictionary, “cuffing” or better yet, “cuffing season” is that time during the cold months when singles everywhere wish to hop on the relationship train desiring to be “cuffed” or cuddled in a ball of warm love. Urban Dictionary states, “the cold weather and prolonged indoor activity causes singles to become lonely and desperate to be cuffed.”

So, if you’re single and ready to mingle or just want an extra body to keep you warm on those cold winter nights, then “cuffing” is a word you should familiarize yourself with! But, how do you find your cuffing partner? Oh don’t worry, 4E has a few ways you can find a winter bae.

  1. Get on a dating app
    This is a fool proof, option plenty way to meet someone ! You can hop on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Happn, Grindr and many more. Just start swiping and you’ll find a cuddle buddy in no time.
  2. Get on Spoonr
    If you’re looking to skip the awkward small talk and happy hour dates, then get straight on Spoonr.  I didn’t even know this kind of thing existed, but apparently Spoonr is the #1 cuddling app. I guess there really is an app for everything.
  3. Get the newest edition of the girlfriend/boyfriend body pillow
    If you’re looking to just skip the whole human interaction thing altogether but still want to feel cuddled by an inanimate object (#creepy), then look no further than the “boyfriend/girlfriend cuddling pillow.”  You’ll feel loved and get to skip all conversation and effort at the same time.
    We hope that you keep warm over these next few months and find your perfect cuffing partner. Honestly, skip the dating apps and pillows…dogs are the best for cuddles!

    Images: giphy.com

How To Throw A Holiday Party As Told By Michael Scott

how to throw a holiday party

It’s that time of year again. A time when you need to choose between spending more time perfecting that final paper or perfecting that hilarious Secret Santa gift. While it may be difficult to manage it all, 4E is here to help you make this season a bit less stressful. Here are five tips on how you can throw the perfect Christmas/Holiday party. Oh, and we got a little help from our old friend, Michael Scott.

  1. Give your holiday party a theme.

    It’s Santa Bond.
  2. Decorate. Decorate. Decorate. 
  3. Get the proper libations (if you’re 21 of course) or drinks to get the party started. 
  4. Take your Secret Santa to the next level. 
  5. Make sure you have proper holiday music to continue the party! 

While it may be daunting to throw a holiday party during this hectic time, we hope that our five tips give you the boost you need. And let’s just take a minute to remember why we are celebrating in the first place.

World’s Best Boss

Images: giphy.com, http://theofficescreenshots.tumblr.com/page/6

Travel Hacks for Thanksgiving

travel hacks 2The time has come. We finally get to go home! But don’t get too excited just yet. Before we leave the Georgetown bubble and arrive at our cozy beds and clean/functional showers, we have to account for that trip home. Whether it’s a plane, train, bus, or car ride home, here are some hacks to make the trip a little more comfortable.

  1. Take a blanket with you. Yes. From what I’ve learned on my Amtrak rides home is that it can get pretty cold. I’m not saying pack your whole twin-sized, puffy blanket from your dorm, but a thin one to make sleeping during the trip a little easier.
  2. Pack your earphones/headphones with a fully charged phone. While you’re still on campus, connect to the wifi and download all your songs on Spotify before you go. This way, you can go on airplane mode on the trip, save your battery, and still be able to listen to everything you’ve recently saved in your library. You’re going to need it when that one baby starts crying and ruins it for everyone.
  3. Pack snacks. Go to Hoya Snaxa, Vittles, CVS, wherever. Purchase your granola bars, bananas, candy, and whatever else to keep you comfortable for a couple hours.
  4. Wear layers. If it’s too hot, you can take off your sweater with a shirt underneath. Don’t put the extra layer in your suitcase that’s overhead, but wear it or put in your backpack for easy access.
  5. Wear a baseball hat. Now this one may seem questionable at first. But do it. At one point or another on the trip, you’re going to get tired–and the lights may still be bright on your plane/train/bus. You can’t bust out a sleeping mask, so use your hat. This has saved me on my trips. Tip your hat over your face and now you can rest in peace and in the dark.
  6. If you’re not the type who can handle listening to music for a couple hours straight, download some movies on your laptop before you go.
  7. This is the crucial tip. If you want to be productive on your trip home, make sure you plan ahead. Most transportation methods don’t provide free wifi. That means download all your assignments from Blackboard and load your online articles before hand. This way, you can still work on your assignment without an internet source.
  8. Last but not least, dress comfortably. Whether that means wearing leggings or sweatpants instead of jeans, slip-ons instead of sneakers, t-shirts instead of button-ups–be sure you can endure sitting in your chosen outfit for a couple of hours. 

That’s it, folks! Happy almost Turkey Day! :)

Gifs: giphy.com

A Guide to Eating Alone at Leo’s

A guide to eating alone at leos

We’ve all been there. Nobody in the #squad group chat responds. You get a sudden hankering for Leo’s meat lover’s pizza that just can’t wait. It’s Chicken Finger Thursday and all your friends seem to have forgotten. Whatever the reason may be, nearly every Georgetown student has eaten at Leo’s alone at one point or another. 4E has already blogged about what may happen if you dine alone, but luckily for all you lonely souls out there, we have now composed the ultimate guide to help you survive this isolating experience.

1. Grab a table in the back

If you decide to brave a trip to Leo’s alone, make sure to grab a seat at a table near the back of the room that faces the window. This way you can avoid the judgmental, uncomfortable eye contact with that person from chemistry class you sorta know, but not well enough to sit down with them uninvited with all of his/her friends.

2. Look busy

Pull that phone, laptop, notebook, textbook, etc. out of your bag and make yourself look too busy and important to waste time socializing. Don’t have any homework to finish or friends to text? No problem. Pull up Microsoft paint or open up your notebook to a blank page and draw yourself a pretty picture to pass the time.

3. Pretend your friends are on the way

Feel like everyone thinks you have no friends? Grab an extra plate of food and place it at the seat across from you. Now everyone will think your friends are just using the bathroom or getting something more to eat. You sure fooled them.

Pro-tip: Reward yourself for your successful trickery by eating that extra plate of food at the end of your meal.

4. Pretend your friends are there with you

If you’re really feeling lonely, an easy solution is to bring cardboard cut outs of your friends, place them at seats around the table, and pretend as if nothing is different! Talk about your day, weekend plans, midterm stress, etc. because, after all…

So, the next time you make the trek to Leo’s alone and experience the irrational anxiety that comes from the nonexistent, judgmental looks of your more popular peers, keep in mind these handy dandy tips.

Images: giphy.com, http://bit.ly/2ebw8fR

Everything You Need To Know Before You Take Your First Soul Cycle Class

Banner - Soul GuideAlright, so I’ll admit this wasn’t my first time doing a Soul Cycle class. I’ve done about three classes prior to this one, and I loved it. I loved it because it was so easy, I was spinning so fast, bouncing around with my ponytail, and thinking to myself: “Wow I’m like… in better shape than I thought… Must be my dance background.”

Then I realized there is this little thing called a “resistance knob”: a thing that I only became aware of by the end of my third class, when I swallowed the harsh reality that I had been cycling – with an obvious bravado – on a resistance-less bike for not one, not two, but three classes. My facade had been shattered. All this time, I had been masquerading as a Lululemon-wearing, chia-pudding-for-breakfast-eating Soul Cycler, when all I was doing was wearing leggings on a stationary bike.

In the end, I gave it another go, and while my chakra and soul are still open from the ah-meez-ing class, do yourself a favor and read this guide before you take your first Soul Cycle class.

You’re inevitably going to try it out no matter how many times you brag to your friends: “I would literally never spend $30 on a spin class.” Honey, you would and you will. So listen up:tumblr_nbyguoqNtB1tdxgaso1_500

  1. The water is not free. This one is hard because there are a lot of elements working against you: the smell of Jonathan Adler’s Grapefruit candle, the LED sign glowing the words “Find Your Soul,” but you must remember: when she asks you “Would you like a water?” she’s not offering you a free water, she’s asking for permission to charge you $4 for a Smart Water.
  2. The people riding in the front row are really good and they’re not going to let you forget it. In case you do forget, the instructor will likely shout them out a few times throughout the class: “Yes, Megan! Yes, Ethan.”
  3. Speaking of the instructor… she/he is going to moan into the microphone like an indie pop singer. If you take a class from my instructor, she actually might just start singing or even screaming into the mouthpiece at any moment’s notice.
  4. Recall aforementioned resistance knob. When they say “Reach down and give it another turn,” just pretend to turn it. Spare yourself. Just kind of reach down and act like you’re totally going to make this already incredibly difficult workout even more excruciating. Like, duh, that’s not happening, but just pretend.
  5. You’re going to hear a lot of platitudes. Be ready for “You are free,” “You are limitless,” “You have no boundaries so don’t create them for yourself,” “You are never alone,” and my personal favorite, “You can do anything – the only thing stopping you is yourself.” Hmm… what about the lactic acid in my quads? What about the Domino’s garlic bread bites from last night? Those are definitely stopping me.
  6. By the end of the class, though, you will have submitted. You are probably going to feel like the blood running through your very veins is infused with the nectar of the Soul Cycle Gods. You’re definitely going to head straight to Sweet Green, get the Earth Bowl, with “really light dressing.” You’ll come back and tell your Soul Cycle virgin of a roommate:tumblr_inline_o03nqnrPBs1satrrh_500

Before you freak out over the cost of classes ($30 a pop, not including shoe rentals) just remember: you have two kidneys, and you only really need one.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, milkandbookies.org

4E’s Declassified Freshman Survival Guide: Dorm Perks

Banner - Dorm PerksAt this point in the summer, every freshman’s parents are probably crying every day – partly because they are facing the dreaded empty nest, but mostly because tuition is due. You aren’t crying though, because you’re ready to be a Hoya, and Hoyas aren’t allowed to cry (except for in Red Square, the free speech zone on campus).

mom cries

In any case, you probably have a lot of unanswered questions. 4E has answers, in our latest installment:

***4E’s Declassified Freshman Survival Guide***

cookie lol
So you don’t look like this ^

Today’s topic is Freshman Dorm Room Perks. Every freshman dorm has different perks, and it’s important to know what they are so you can manipulate and take full advantage of your ~friends’~ rooms.

cooper wink


New South: No, your radiator definitely doesn’t heat the room, but did you know it doubles as a table? In most rooms, the front shell of the radiator pops off easily. Lay it across two chairs to make a table sturdier than the ones at our dining hall. Gold medalist water pong players always have humble beginnings.

Bonus: Your room has its own sink! Close the drain and fill the sink up with water. Plop a goldfish in there and voila: you’ve got yourself an aquarium.


VCW: The AC system here is surprisingly functional. Forgo the mini-fridge purchase; you can literally turn your room into a walk-in refrigerator if you set the temperature accordingly. In the rare case that your AC breaks, you can set your shower to extreme temperatures – simply turning it on can change the temperature of your room in just minutes.

freezing

Bonus:  In the case you don’t like the people who live directly below you, just flush the toilet (if you’re lucky, their room will fill with sewage).


Harbin: The notoriously difficult Harbin RAs are out for blood. However, you can use the cluster-style to your advantage! Close off your cluster’s door properly and you can create an impenetrable fortress for fiestas free from RAs.

Bonus: The upper several floors of Harbin have some of the best views among the freshman dorms. Some rooms can see the National Cathedral and the Washington Monument! Others can see the dumpster right behind the building where Bill Clinton’s trash was once thrown out!


Darnall: As you may have heard, Darnall has twin beds, rather than twin XL beds. Depending on what way you look at it, this gives you 5 MORE INCHES for activities.

ferrell drums

Bonus: You live on top of Epi, the 24-hour eatery that is every student’s go-to place at 3 a.m. Getting there and back for a late-night snack couldn’t be easier.


VCE: Call the housing office and request to move. The only positive thing is that the elevator tends to move fastest here out of all the freshman dorms. Possibly because nobody dares enter VCE.

Bonus:                                (this area intentionally left blank)

cocohead

More to come next time on 4E’s Declassified.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, georgetownuniversity.com, tumblr.com