Georgetown Bars Now and Then

Have you ever heard the rumors of Georgetown’s bustling nightlife and bar scene in the 1980’s, 1990’s and early 2000’s? Have you wondered where these bars went? Or have you accepted the fact that M Street is an eerily too similar replica of your hometown mall? Here at 4E we asked these questions and did the research into Georgetown’s bar history, and no this is not a shameless plug for my final research project. But if it was, I would suggest that you check out this website to learn more. So if finals have you feeling down, take a walk with 4E down memory lane and peer into the past with our Georgetown Bars Now and Then. 

3401 M St NW, Washington, DC 20007

Then: Poseurs

Now: The Running Company

This bar created Georgetown’s punk rock scene. It was the first bar in Georgetown that integrated music videos into the bar! It closed in 1989 and is now the Running Company. However, Poseurs loyal followers hosted a 30-year reunion, so check out their event on Facebook Event.

3477 M Street, NW Washington D.C. 

Then: The Cellar Door

Now: For rent

This building used to house The Cellar Door, a live music club that played host to famous artists such as Jimmy Buffet, Patti Smith, Carole King and many more from 1965-1981. Since then the location has been a sandwich shop but currently remains for rent.

3295 M St NW, Washington, DC 20007

Then:  Rhino

Now: Club Monaco

This location has been a bar since 1952 when it was first the Shamrock. It transitioned to Winston’s Pumphouse in 1972, and then in 1996 it became Rhino–a popular if not beloved Georgetown University bar. It was closed in 2015 due to high rent and is now Club Monaco, a clothing store.

3259 M St NW, Washington, DC 20007

Then: Crazy Horse

Now: Coach

Now a Coach retail store, Crazy Horse was a local bar popular with both Georgetown students and young adults from the DMV area.

1238 Wisconsin Ave NW, Washington, DC 20007

Then: Carriage House, followed by Tramps

Now: Zara

This location was first the Carriage House, a dining room frequented by many important social and political figures of the District. Then it was taken over by the famous disco club Tramps, run by Washington Playboy Mike O’Harro. This establishment was a left over remanent of the 1970s disco scene. Unfortunately, in 1982 it stopped “Staying Alive” and closed its doors. It is currently a Zara clothing store.

1218 Wisconsin Ave NW, Washington, DC 20007

Then: The Third Edition

Now: El Centro

This popular bar was dubbed the “the quintessential Georgetown saloon” by Zagat. It was at the center of the Georgetown neighborhood on the corner of Wisconsin and M. This bar wasn’t only a place to drink from 1969-2009; it also played host to a weekly Q&A Cafe, which brought together tourists, neighbors, politicians and notable Washingtonians.

3104 M St NW, Washington, DC 20007

Then: Mr. Smiths

Now: Fine Retailer

Mr. Smiths was arguably the second oldest continuing bar in the Georgetown neighborhood as it was founded in 1962. In 2014 it was forced to move from its M Street location to K Street, where it replaced longstanding bar Chadwicks due to rising rents. Now, it’s location is filled in with “Fine Retailer” (whatever that means).

3111 K St NW, Washington, DC 20007

Then: Bayou

Now: AMC Theatre

Currently the AMC Theatre, the Bayou was the go-to music scene from 1953 to 1998. Check out this website to learn more!

3003 M St NW, Washington, DC 20007

Then: Garret’s Railroad Tavern

Now: I-Thai

Garrett’s Restaurant and Railroad Tavern shut its doors for the last time on a Monday in 1979. It was described as “not simply another restaurant closing but rather the loss of a popular community hangout loved and frequented by locals, students, employees, and tourists.” It has since been replaced with a Thai restaurant. Here is another article discussing Garret’s closing.

1206 Wisconsin Ave NW, Washington, DC 20007

Then: Champions

Now: The Sovereign

Champions closed their doors in 2002. It was a dubbed “the original sports bar” and was a favorite with the Georgetown student body, visiting college students, tourists and residents of the DMV area. The bar was bought and converted into an upscale Belgium restaurant called The Sovereign.

Check out the website Booze to Bougie to learn more:

Photos/gifs: trophyhomes.com, images.google.com, boozetobougie.wordpress.com

GTFO: Hidden Study Spots, Finals Edition

As you begin to recover from the aftermath of Georgetown Day, we regret to inform that it’s officially Finals Season. And if you can’t stand the thought of spending the next two weeks studying in hell Lau, fear not: we here at 4E have got you covered with some of the best hidden study spots on this side of the Potomac.

1.  The Library of Congress

Located in the heart of D.C., the Library of Congress is the perfect place to reenact scenes from National Treasure get some serious and productive studying done! Visiting the Library of Congress is a great opportunity to try to finally figure out the whole GUTS bus/Metro system, get frustrated after three minutes, and resort to calling an Uber like you always do.  Once you get there, be sure to blatantly ignore the library rules and take plenty of pictures of your beautiful surroundings- you can send some to your parents as proof that your college experience also involves some non-Burnetts-related activities !

4E Fun Fact: My own Library of Congress card has the unique distinction of being the only picture of me in existence that is worse than the one on my GoCard.

Actual footage of a Georgetown student Snapchatting his friends at the LoC.

2. The Aisles of Vital Vittles

If you’re too lazy to venture more than five minutes from campus looking for something a little closer to your Hilltop home, there are still plenty of options. One of Georgetown’s best study spots is located in the aisles of Vittles. This is exactly what it sounds like: just grab your backpack, go sit on the floor of the campus grocery store and get to work! Trust us, all the cool kids are doing it. As you study, you can enjoy the questioning stares of your fellow Hoyas while munching on one of the snacks you settled for because they were inexplicably out of your top five snack food choices.

4E Bonus Tip: If you’re feeling really adventurous, go study in the lone aisle of Snaxa.

3. VCE

Home to sophomores who skipped every “What’s a Hoya?” and freshmen who weren’t told this was even an option during their GAAP weekend, Village C East is truly a hidden treasure. Frequently forgotten and perpetually overlooked in favor of its better-known sibling to the west, VCE is basically the Jeb Bush of Georgetown dormitories. So while it may be “low-energy,” sometimes that’s exactly what you need after another wasted night spent in the distraction-filled mosh pit known as Lau 2 during finals. I personally recommend grabbing a spot at the tables in the laundry room, mostly because it reminds me of a simpler time, during freshman year, when I actually did my laundry on a regular basis instead of wearing the same pair of jeans for a week straight and hoping no one notices.

Remember when people were worried about him becoming president? We were so young…

4. The ICC Bathrooms

We’ve all been there: your professor assigns you a “collaborative final project” and everyone in your group is a total stranger. You’re probably freaking out- group projects are soooo awkward! But luckily, we here at 4E have found a quick fix to your problem: the ICC bathrooms. Spending time in uncomfortably-close physical proximity is a surefire way to get to know each other. And what better place to build this camaraderie than in the inexplicably-tiny restrooms of the Edward B. Bunn S.J. Intercultural Center? Just think of all the built-in conversation starters that will help break the ice: “Why are we working in a bathroom?” “This is so weird”- you’re sure to be best friends in no time! And best of all, you won’t have any of that pesky “reliable wifi access” to distract you from the task at hand.

4E Bonus Tip: If you’re really looking to get close with your peers, head on over to the White-Gravenor bathrooms, which have the cool added bonus of being extremely small and extremely old.

5. John Kerry’s House

Now that the Secret Service agents outside of his house are gone, this basically means we all have an open invitation to go hang out with Johnny K whenever we want. Though I personally have never actually been inside his home, I’m assuming it’s extremely classy (John Kerry is pretty much as #bougie as it gets- here’s a picture of a him on a yacht with JFK) and it also probably has pretty decent wifi, because we all know how much former Secretaries of State like to send emails!

Disclaimer: Yes, I know that joke was terrible, but I got yelled at for writing too many articles roasting Trump, so just consider this my attempt at being bipartisan). Additionally, the Kerrster can totally help you study for your IR final, and will almost-definitely be down to walk across the street with you for a Wingo’s study break

*Side Note: If anyone ever actually sees John Kerry at Wingo’s, please alert me immediately.

The Internet was made for moments like this.

So there you have it- five ways to shake up your study routine this finals season. Best of luck from all of us here at 4E, and please remember to keep procrastinating by reading our articles!

Photo source: jfklibrary.org; Gif source: giphy.com 

A Guide To Scamming the Most Out of Free Food This GAAP Weekend

Welcome to Georgetown, new Hoyas! Your friends at 4E are so excited to meet you next year! Before you  arrive, hopefully you’re going to GAAP Weekend so you can celebrate and learn more about us, regular ole Hoyas. If you are, here’s how to scam the most out of free food this GAAP Weekend.

8:30 AM on Friday – Go to St. Mary’s for breakfast. They without a doubt have the best spread. From fresh fruit to small pieces of banana bread, the NHS (School of Nursing and Health Studies for the newbies) has too much food and not enough people to share it with.

1:45 PM on Friday – For those who want to be extra ~cultured~ be sure to hit up the SFS for some Qdoba. However, if you’re not about that, then go to the MSB. If you have to venture into ~The Snake Den~ for anything, it might as well be good food from a fancy restaurant.

6:00 PM on Friday – Starving after Convocation and can’t wait the 30 minutes it will probably take to walk to Tombs and get food? Walk for 1 minute instead from Healy to the ICC for the Multicultural Reception! It might will definitely be the best food you’ve had all day!

9:00 AM on Saturday – You could go to Leo’s for breakfast, and it will probably  definitely be the best Leo’s you’ll have in your Georgetown career, or you could knock on an unsuspecting upperclassmen’s Vil A door and beg food from them. No doubt they’ll take pity on you and attempt to give you something better (choose the door wisely).

12:00 PM on Saturday – Want free food AND clothing? Come to Red Square so that clubs can inevitably try to bribe you to join once you get here! The free swag and food ranging from Hershey’s Kisses to slices of pizza will be worth it. I promise.

Your friends at 4E sincerely hope that this list has helped you to scam the most food out of your GAAP Weekend and make it one you’ll never forget!

Gifs: giphy.com

99 Problems But Jesuit Values Ain’t One

My college career started off to a horrifically basic start. My roommate and I invited new friends to our room before heading over to the Natty-littered Village A rooftops. Word spread quickly of our plan to play pong and party, as thirty sweaty eighteen year-olds flooded my third floor, trash-hallway New South room.

Music was blasting, Burnett’s was flowing and introductions were a plenty; I was having a glorious time hosting new friends. However, in the middle of all-time anthemic banger “Closer,” there was a sudden knock on the door.

My roommate and I were written up for a noise complaint. We had no interest in writing a BS apologetic essay about “disturbing the peace of New South,” and instead wrote a rap about Georgetown’s Jesuit values. The piece, entitled “99 Problems but Jesuit Values Ain’t One,” was required to be spoken to our community director, peers and RAs. And we did it. And we went all in. Please enjoy, much to my humiliation.

99 Problems, but Jesuit Values Ain’t One

It was a Monday during NSO,
We didn’t know how to tell them to go.

Playing music and talking, way too loud,
til the RA on duty came around.

Disturbing the peace with all our brothers,
We were not being men and women for others.

And now we’re ready to apologize too,
By showing our knowledge of Jesuit values.

Cura personalis is what comes first,
Because care of the the person is not the worst.

Now that we’re Hoyas we need some balance,
By being kind neighbors we’ll show our prudence.

Through this rap we will make some penance,
Demonstrating the importance of academic excellence.

Academic excellence thats a must,
Because when you don’t it’s a sure bust.
We’ll have Jack DeGioa up in a fuss,
Going to Lau, getting those A’s, that’s prosperous.

Educating the whole person is essential,
It helps us reach our full potential.

Learning both in and out of classrooms,
Chilling in Lau or even at Tombs.

Here on the Hilltop we’re learning to be faithful,
Between justice and faith we are not hateful.

Rhymes smooth just like buttah,
Holla at St. Ignatius–that’s my brotha.
Came up with Men and Women for Othas,
Taught us values of character just like my motha.

Our bro Brahmanchari taught us inter-religious understanding,
All religions are welcome, each unique and expanding.

Expanded our horizons, went to Buddhist meditation,
Our years at Georgetown aid spiritual formation.

We love Georgetown because of its community in diversity,
It gives us a better world view within the University.

On the third floor we have peers from England, France and Spain,
Friends from far and wide make our lives less mundane.

Our thoughtful discussion after Pluralism in Action,
Brought us closer to diverse peers to our satisfaction.

Loving our neighbors before ourselves,
Helping the staff in Leo’s restock the shelves.

Doing what’s right, owning up to our mistakes,
Being faithful and just is all that is takes.

Teaching us lessons is what Georgetown does best,
Now we know better, we hashtag blessed.

Photos/gifs: som.georgetown.edu, giphy.com

Lautiquette

As midterm season wears on and Lau becomes our home-away-from-dorm once more,  we here at 4E have noticed that some of us are in desperate need of a quick refresher on proper “Lautiquette” (that’s Lau- etiquette, for all you #normies out there).

Before you head on back to your cubicle, take a minute to check out 4E’s Official Guide to Proper Lautiquette:

1. Have your GoCard ready when you walk in. It is not that hard. You know you’re supposed to have it ready. I know you’re supposed to have it ready. That line of sleep-deprived people waiting behind you at 1:58 a.m. during finals week know you’re supposed to have it ready. So don’t be that person. Instead, be the considerate student who awkwardly stands outside near the smokers by the steps while frantically emptying out their entire backpack in search of the card before they attempt to enter the building.

2. Do not take up an entire Lau 2 table by yourself during peak hours. Peak hours are officially designated (by the staff here at 4E) as anytime between 2:00 PM and 1:00 AM on Sundays, and 7:00 PM to 12:00 AM on Mondays through Wednesdays. I don’t care how hard that bio midterm is going to be- there is absolutely no need for you to take up an entire  table with your flashcards and highlighters.

Full Disclosure: I am sitting at a cramped table far from an outlet and glaring at a well-documented serial Lau 2 tabler-taker-upper as I write this. You know who you are. Please move.

3. Do not eat anything that smells weird. The litmus test for this one is extremely straight forward: if you have to ask if your food smells weird, your food smells weird.  Do not consume this food within the confines of Joseph Mark Lauinger Library. None of the windows open and we will all be forced to endure the stench of your microwaveable Four Cheese and Four Meat Hot Pocket (TM) for the duration of our study session.

4. Do not talk on Lau 5.

5. Do not take the elevator down one floor. Look, we’re all tired after a long night or an early morning, but the elevators are slow enough already without your shenanigans. Get it together.*

*However, it is nevertheless completely acceptable to take the elevator up one floor. The difference between walking up a single flight of stairs and walking down a single flight of stairs cannot be overstated. Much like a certain father-son Georgetown basketball coaching duo, one is undoubtedly much worse than the other (#tbt).

So there you have it- a few friendly reminders to make sure your time here in Lau is as Lauwesome (that’s Lau-awesome, #normies) as it can possibly be! Now please go passive-aggressively share this with your friends and/or the stranger who is currently taking too long to decide what they want to order at Midnight.

Photos/gifs: giphy.com, flickr.com

Other Things at Georgetown That Should Be Fired

We were beginning to think change was impossible. That was, of course, until it happened yesterday. Coach John Thompson III was not able to answer the question “Who Do You Know Here?” and was denied entrance at the door to another season at the helm of Georgetown basketball.

While the announcement was certainly shocking, if completely justified, it was more than just someone getting fired. This means that change is possible at Georgetown. Let’s ride the wave and get rid of the people at Georgetown responsible for other grave injustices:

  1. FIRE the person in charge of sending GUPD updates. What ever happened to the emails about drunk people waking up in the wrong bed and punching someone? Then there was the time when someone was kidnapped and we didn’t even hear about it. Change is needed.

    Pictured: current reputation of GUPD
  2. FIRE SNAPS. Do you have nothing better to do on a Friday night than break up a party that probably wasn’t good in the first place? Our tuition dollars are literally being spent to reduce the party scene.
  3. FIRE the architect of Lau. This is probably somewhat irrelevant, but just as a preventative measure, his or her professional license should be confiscated. Our skyline would have been so perfect if it weren’t for a building that is as soul-sucking as it looks.

    NO!
  4. FIRE the people who don’t pick up their omelets. All we can ask for at a Leo’s dining ~experience~ is to be lucky enough not to see a mouse and a timely produced omelet. Nobody likes long lines. Help make this a reality.
  5. FIRE the founder of Instructional Continuity. Who in John Carroll’s name ever signed off that this was a good idea? I dare the administration to put out a survey about students’ and teachers’ satisfaction around this perversion of the education system.
  6. FIRE professors that don’t round grades up. It’s not even about common courtesies; it’s about properly representing numbers. One rounds 8.6 to 9.0 so why isn’t an 86 an A-?
  7. FIRE Saxanet. If I lose my progress while working on something one mor..

Photos/Gifs: tumblr.com, giphy.com, memecrunch.com, Rachel Skaar/The Hoya

What to Do After Getting Rejected from Piano Bar

After everyone’s favorite grimy bar got raided a few too many times and decided to be a whole lot pickier about who they let in, a lot of underage Georgetown students are left wondering – what next? Where else can I spend my Wednesday nights partying? Is there another spot I can flock to on a typical dead Georgetown Friday night? While no one has come up with a perfect solution yet, here are 4E’s 7 alternatives to Piano Bar.

  1. If you’re still looking to go out and have a good time, try Chi Di! What’s one rejection when you can have two in one night? Have you gotten a little too comfortable with your fake? Definitely give it a go despite multiple texts reporting cops surrounding the club.
  2. A rejection from Chi Di not enough to kill your party mood? The next move is a random club in downtown DC. You’re guaranteed to meet people almost twice your age, and if you wait in line long enough, you might even get to realize that Ultra is not nearly as large as they make it out to be. 
  3. However, if you’re a homebody and trying to stay near campus, why not try CVS on Wisconsin? I’m not kidding; this place is a goldmine. They have everything from snacks, to makeup, to Donald Trump shot glasses!
  4. Why not make it an early night at Epi? Sometimes Epi is more lit than the party (or in this case, Piano) itself. You’re guaranteed to see at least one person you know (and you know you wanted that quesadilla more than you wanted to be sweating it out on the dirty dance floor of Piano anyway).
  5. If you’re the typical Georgetown student who likes to talk about how much work they have, but never actually does it, why not spend the extra time studying? I hear (but don’t know from personal experience) Lau is open 24 hours a day. You can probably get some quality work done, considering your of age peers will be enjoying the bar you couldn’t get into. 
  6. Go to bed. Literally every single time I ask someone how they’re doing, they say tired. Instead of taking laps around Piano and waiting for the bartender to notice you until 2 AM, why not get some quality sleep in? Maybe the next day you won’t have to ban your roommate from drying her hair so that you can nap (sorry, Chiara!). 
  7. Stay in! Why risk it? It’s much safer to be caught partying by your RA than by the police. Grab some friends and have a good old sleepover filled with rounds of “Never Have I Ever” and “Truth or Dare.” I promise you’ll learn more about them that way than shouting over Piano’s sometimes cringey, sometimes decent music. These are just a few ideas for what you can do after being rejected from Piano, but feel free to explore other alternatives. Whatever you decide, 4E hopes you stay safe out there in this newly dangerous Georgetown bubble.

Gifs: giphy.com

Breaking Down Georgetown’s Geotags

It’s time to embrace the sad truth: GW’s geotag game is stronger than ours. Let’s explore Georgetown’s finest options in the ever-present Snapchat game.

Grey outline of Healy Hall with Hoya Saxa in a circle in the corner – Always the first one to appear when swiping right on Snapchat. Really boring tbh. Not ideal for the classic freshman Healy snap story.

‘I Believe’ – Don’t get me started. Wrong color scheme, takes up the entire picture, no one knows what ‘I Believe’ stands for. 0/10. Apparently used for a GUSA Presidential campaign two years ago, and we’ve never stopped having it. Somehow that makes it more annoying.

Southwest Quad – As if living in McCarthy wasn’t bad enough, their Snapchat filter is probably the weakest on campus. Worth a venture to Snaxa for late night slushies and to check out this monstrosity.

Leo’s salad bar – It’s just tomatoes and lettuce. 2/10 for unbalanced dieting.

Leo’s upstairs – Very representative of the lighting. Could go well with a food snap of vegan brownies. I never get this one actually in Leo’s; only in my New South dorm room.

MSB – The bros use it after nailing their Goldman Sachs interviews and OPIM exams. Goes well with Vineyard Vines and/or a suit and tie combo. Points for having the prettiest building. I appreciate.

 

Dahlgren Chapel – So cute, so chic, so simple. My parents were married here so I’m a bit biased. 10/10 for love.

Outline of Healy with Georgetown University in middle – It would require effort to make this uglier.

Lau – Harsh. Boring. But is that not representative of Lau vibes?

Lord of the Rings Lau – Don’t get me wrong: this filter is weird, but points for creativity and nerdiness. I see you. Gets a laugh at 3 AM when cramming for a History midterm.

McCourt School Georgetown – Old time-y font and DC imagery. I like. Solid 8/10.

Georgetown University with Hoya Saxa in cursive: perfect for freshman bragging to their high school friends about attending a top 20 institution. The only filter that blatantly says, “Hoya Saxa,” so that’s pretty concerning. Basic but very nice.

Future Recommendations:

  1. Why is there no ICC geotag? Bill Clinton would not approve.
  2. No acknowledgment of Jesuits I see. Does Cura Personals even mean anything to Georgetown if we cannot fully represent this on our social media?
  3. Genuine question: Does Darnall have one? I’ve never been there.
  4. Why doesn’t Jack the Bulldog get any love?
  5. Let’s have a New South geotag reading “Zoo South” that shows broken Pineapple Burnetts and dip in the stairwell.
  6. @Corp Marketing I know a geotag at each location would be hard but it would be dope.Photos: me, duh.

Judging You, Judging Your Laptop Stickers

Remember decorating lockers in middle school? Laptop stickers are the college version of this timeless activity.  But now, instead of decorating a metal cubby that you once saw in a photo from 1973 , you’re decorating an expensive computer that you’ll rely on for at least 4 years. What do your stickers (or things that you thought would make you seem cool, let’s be real) say about you?

But first, the basics:

  • No stickers? Congrats, you’re a full-blown adult. We’re all proud. Stop reading this and go back to The Wall Street Journal.
  • Stickers on a laptop case? Just like me with my constantly changing major, you’re unwilling to commit.
  • Stickers on the laptop? Bold. Determined. Committed to your ideals. Really sorry, but you might not be the next President after all.

The stickers themselves:

  • Hamilton-related: Yep, you’re part of the problem. Good job, liberal elite.
  • GoPro: How was your last ski vacation? I’m sure that you looked super cool with that camera on your helmet. Can I see the video? Was there a soundtrack?
  • H*yas for Choice: We’re all fans. But are you really in the club? Thinking that the answer is no.
  • Anything “The Office”-related: Congrats on loving such an obscure show!

  • GUAFSCU/GUSIF: You’re impressive. I understand. You crushed that application and business professional attire.
  • “Oh, Kale Yeah!”: Are you vegan? LMK. @vegans_at_leos.
  • Hillary Clinton campaign: Leave that one up until it fades to nothing, please.
  • Patagonia, or a variation on their logo:  Thank you for supporting this grassroots company, you’re really helping them get off the ground and make a difference in society. Also, it’s super cool that the logo was modified to fit the mountain that you visited recently, how unique!
  • Hometown sticker: Home is where the heart is! Which right now, realistically, is in your laptop, so this fits!

Photos/gifs: giphy.com, flickr.com

Guide to Laufits

It’s officially midterm season, which means that there’s a good chance you’re procrastinating by reading this article somewhere in Lau. And if you’re searching for some more ways to avoid doing work, look no further: here’s a refresher on the five types of “Laufits” most frequently seen in everyone’s favorite architectural monstrosity.

1. The “Kendall Jenner”

The basic look: Heels. A “going out” top. Jeans that cost more than your meal plan. Something cool like a hat or red lipstick that you definitely couldn’t pull off if you tried.

When they’re not busy making you feel bad about the fact that you noticeably haven’t washed your hair in several days, the owner of this outfit can usually be found making the awkward walk from the elevators to Midnight look like a graceful strut down a fashion week runway. There’s a good chance that you follow them on Instagram. There’s a better chance that they do not follow you back.

2. The “Intern”

The basic look: J. Crew. Ann Taylor. Brooks Brothers. A Capitol Hill ID badge that they are inexplicably still wearing at 11 p.m. on a Wednesday in the middle of a college library.

You can usually find the wearer of this outfit carefully crafting their next insightful and completely necessary political post on Facebook or mapping out the logistics of their future GUSA presidential campaign two years ahead of time. There’s a good chance you follow them on LinkedIn. There’s a better chance that they were the ones who requested to follow you.

3. The “Self-Proclaimed Gym Rat”

The basic look: Neon running shoes. A headband. A Fitbit. Something from Lululemon. A yoga mat casually tucked under their arm. A conspicuous lack of actual sweat on any of these items.

Those who rock the standard “SPGR” attire are usually found loitering in Midnight. They may be found loudly commenting on how their favorite flavor of Vitamin Water Zero and/or Cliff Bar is out of stock while openly inquiring as to why they aren’t allowed to use the Thompson Center, or insisting that they could have been a varsity walk-on “if they tried.” There’s a good chance that you also just saw them take the elevator instead of the stairs to get to Lau 2 in the first place.

4. The “Guy Who Was at Jersey Night Until He Remembered He Had a Paper Due at 9 A.M.”

The Basic Look: Hair Gel. Pit Stains. An Allen Iverson/Alonzo Mourning/Patrick Ewing jersey. A New Jersey accent. An ID from a state that is not New Jersey.

Unlike the “Self-Proclaimed Gym Rat,” the person wearing this outfit is definitely actually sweating. And yelling. And attempting to simultaneously type and sober up, but not doing a very good job at either. This stylish individual is likely to be found taking way too long to figure out what they want from the vending machine and saying some variation of “Dude, seriously it was so lit, you gotta go next week” to every other person who walks by.

5. The “Lau 5”

The basic look: A sweatshirt. A pair of sweatpants, but not the “cute and cozy” kind that are moderately acceptable to wear in public. A baseball cap. Uggs, Crocs, or some combination of the two.

(Disclaimer: this is not an exaggeration. I once saw an actual human being wearing an Ugg on one foot and a Croc on the other on Lau 5 at 2 a.m. during finals week and it was one of the scariest things I have ever seen in my entire life. Please let me know if you have any potential information regarding this individual’s whereabouts because I want to make sure they’re alright.)

The true devotees of the classic “Lau 5” aesthetic are, of course, most frequently found in their natural habitat on the top floor. But rumor has it that if you wait patiently until the early hours of the morning, you can see them briefly emerge near that weird coffee vending machine on Lau 2. Should you be so lucky as to witness this rare occurrence, be sure to remember the most basic rule of Lau-etiquette: never ask someone wearing the full-blown “Lau 5” Laufit “How’s it going?” You will only be met with a long, sad answer involving an unreliable TA, a “quizlet” mishap, and a copious amount of tears.

So there you have it: five of the most popular Laufits. Consider what your Laufit says about you the next time you head on over to see if there are any more lemon poppy seed muffins left at Midnight write that big paper well ahead of the deadline! 

Gif source: giphy.com, library.georgetown.edu