25 Things That Lasted Longer Than Pete and Ariana’s Relationship

Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande have broken up. I can’t say I’m surprised, but at the same time, I am. On the bright side, it beats Kim Kardashian’s 72-day marriage to Kris Humphries.

Here are 20 things that have lasted longer than Pete and Ari’s fleeting engagement:

  1. The time it takes for Royal Jacket to give me my pre-made sandwich
  2. Brett Kavanaugh’s FBI investigation
  3. My good mood after a night at Grand Central
  4. Walmart Yodeling Kid’s career
  5. “Big Bootie 14”
  6. The “I’m gonna go to Yates every Monday, Wednesday and Friday” phase after New Year’s
  7. A macro lecture with Prof. Carol Rogers
  8. That period of time when clowns killed people
  9. A late-night Snapchat from a ~lonely boy~ at 2 a.m.
  10. The moment of silence for that person who drops their food in downstairs Leo’s
  11. Any friendship made at a sweaty NSO party
  12. The lifespan of the Wisey’s rat
  13. A nap after an SAE darty
  14. iPhone X battery life
  15. Random fire alarms in Lau during finals season
  16. A leftover Epi quesadilla
  17. The time it took for Lil Wayne to drop his album
  18. A basic Instagram Boomerang in front of Healy on a sunny day
  19. The flavor of Wisey’s Oreo cookies
  20.  Any Vil A rooftop party
  21. The time it takes for the Copley elevator to go from the first floor to the second
  22. The Ice Bucket Challenge trend
  23.  Kim K’s botox
  24.  A hug with Jack the Bulldog
  25.  That time you were pre-med

Sources: giphy.com, wireimage.com

10 Reasons You Should Buy Basketball Season Tickets

Many years ago, the mere thought of writing this article would have been absurd. There was once a time when school spirit was high, lottery picks roamed the Hilltop and students needed no convincing when it came time to buy basketball season tickets. But that was a lifetime ago.*

*I’m actually referring to as recently as 2013. You read that right. Just five years ago, Georgetown basketball finished first in the Big East, was ranked as high as fifth in the AP Poll and star guard Otto Porter was selected third in the NBA draft. Everyone needs to calm down (looking at you, @EveryAlumnusWhoGraduatedInThe1980s). We’re going to be fine.

But I digress. We are gathered here today to discuss the current state of Georgetown basketball as it exists in 2018. And I’m here to tell you why — despite what you may have heard from disgruntled seniors — buying season tickets is well worth the money.

So here we go:

1. Celebrities

I’ll admit it: I spend far more time scrolling through Daily Mail Online than I do reading The New York Times. And based on how many of you waited in line for hours to see Bradley Cooper speak in Gaston Hall, I’m guessing you’re just as obsessed with celebrities as I am.

So, even if you couldn’t care less about basketball and will spend the entire game staring at your Instagram feed instead of glancing at the court, you should still buy tickets. Why? It’s simple: Famous people might show up.

Don’t believe me? See below:

Former President Barack Obama sitting courtside, cheering on the Hoyas with that guy from the memes.
Obama thanking loyal fans who bought season tickets.

 

The dad from “Are We There Yet?” AND the second-best detective from “Law and Order: SVU”

 

Mr. Hailey Baldwin

Think of how it will feel being left out when all your friends start sharing those coveted Obama selfies on Insta.

2. Less Time On Campus

Literally any day I do not have to spend stuck on this moldy, rat-infested, construction-filled campus is a day well-spent. I say this out of love, but also, please do something, @JohnJDeGioia; none of the sinks work, and the buildings are literally infested with living snakes. Search @georgetown.hotmess on Instagram for specifics. The Verizon Center Capital One Arena is nice and does not use tulips to cover its glaring problems.

3. Heyyyyyyy Baby

Even during the worst losses, the pep band plays that song that goes “Heyyyyyyyy-yyyy Baby, I wanna knoooooooow if you’ll be my girl (*dun dun dun dun*)” and everybody sings and sort of dances along to it. It’s really fun and a nice break from the routine of “Mr. Brightside.” Also, if you don’t know what song I’m talking about, just sing the words I wrote and Shazam it.

4. Beer

 In the recent, infamous words of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named AKA Less Attractive Matt Damon AKA Are You Kidding Me @Joe Manchin: “I liked beer, I still like beer.” Capital One Arena has beer.

Disclaimer: Students must be 21 or older to drink aforementioned beer.

5. Chick-Fil-A

Chick-Fil-A is available at the games, and it’s honestly faster to Uber over to the arena, order and eat your meal than it is to wait in line at the Leavey Center location.

6. Slam Dunk

Have you ever seen somebody dunk a basketball in person? It is so cool. How do they jump so high? And make the ball go in the basket while jumping? This alone is worth the price of admission. Mac McClung, do us proud this year. Also, if you’re reading this, follow me back on Instagram.

7. The Memes

When the meme page was first born way back in the early days of 2017, the memes almost exclusively referenced a man they called “JT3”. And it was these very memes that single-handedly ended JT3’s reign and brought St. Patrick into our lives.

For you youngsters out there, this was a dark time, but an important one nonetheless. Those who do not remember history are doomed to repeat it. You must go to the games so that you can recognize the warning signs. If things ever get that bad again, it is your responsibility to make the next generation of memes. The fate of the Hilltop depends on it.

8. The Capitals

Fun fact: Capital One Arena is also home to the current Stanley Cup champions, the Washington Capitals! For the unfamiliar, the Capitals are the hockey team that locals pretend to like because all the other D.C. sports teams are bad. Also, their team captain partied at the Georgetown waterfront with the cup this summer and then jumped in the fountain. Based on the Snapchats I saw, it looked pretty fun. So maybe he’ll show up to one of our games! Fun!

9. Alumni

Most of the fans at these games are alumni over the age of 40 who are eager to loudly remind you that school spirit “isn’t what it used to be” (and also that there was once “a pub in the basement of Healy.” Seriously, they will talk about that damn pub for hours if you don’t stop them. Like, there is no way it was that fun.)

Now I know “irate Hoya baby boomers” might not sound like a recipe for a good time, but think of it in terms of networking. It’s simple. These people love Georgetown basketball, and they’ll love you too if you tell them that you also love Georgetown basketball (see: the Transitive Property of Hoya Saxa). Get them reminiscing about the good ol’ days for five minutes in the popcorn line and the next thing you know, boom: You’ve somehow secured that elusive Goldman internship. All you MSBros do not want to miss this opportunity.

10. Me

Listen up: This is my senior year, and I do not want to spend the remainder of my glory days sitting in a mostly empty arena on a Tuesday night. These memories have to get me through the rest of what will probably be a pretty boring life, so they better be good. Just buy tickets, show up to the games, get some beer, cheer and make the most of it.

Go get your tickets at wearegeorgetown.com

Hoya Saxa.

Disclaimer: Patrick Ewing is NOT paying me to write this article, but if you’re reading this, Coach Ewing, can you please grant me access to the Thompson Center in exchange for this free publicity??  I won’t even use any of the equipment, I just want to get a cool pic for my Insta story so I can lord it over the peasants at Yates. Email 4E if this is cool.

Sources: giphy.com, pinterest.com, genius.com, sbnation.com, fansided.com, facebook.com

What’s Up With Mattress Toppers?

Welcome to college, where mattress toppers are one of your most important possessions. Sleep is definitely the most important thing in my life right now. I had the misfortune of having no mattress topper for the first couple weeks of school, so I got familiar with my Georgetown-supplied mattress.

I treated that mattress well, keeping it clothed with my Bed Bath & Beyond 300-thread-count twin-XL sheets, which I washed two (2) times in the first couple weeks of class. It wasn’t as kind.

Going in, my expectations were pretty low: I knew my dorm wouldn’t scream “luxury.” Yet, the inhumanity of such an unrelenting material almost seemed sacrilegious. The mattresses supplied to us by the Jesuit Order definitely did not take cura of my personalis.

I don’t blame Georgetown for such hostile living conditions. I get it: The university has better things to spend its measly budget on — like a new gym, but one that’s only for athletes.

I’m no MSBro, but I can tell you that toppers range from $10, to over $200 for some fancy “organic” ones. Don’t get me started on what “organic” mattress toppers offer that non-organic ones don’t; that can be a topic for another day. There are many options with which to top your mattress, but for those who are more basic, I applaud you. I attempted that lifestyle for a couple weeks, but my body was too frail for such exertion.

That’s why I’m in love with the concept of mattress toppers. They’re at the crossroads of necessity and luxury, much like a minifridge or that extra Kate Spade bag you bought last month. Among the plethora of mattress toppers, each one tells a story and gives insight into the student who lays on it.

After extensive interpersonal and detailed research, I’ve concluded that there is a direct correlation between mattress toppers and personality type:

No Topper:

  • Doesn’t go to class.
  • On the path toward nirvana and giving up every shred of physical attachment to this world.
  • Probably shotgunning nitro brew coffee in the shower.

1-to-2-Inch Topper:

  • Probably hasn’t washed any sheets yet.
  • In Lau studying rn.
  • Always dehydrated.

2-to-4-Inch Topper:

  • A little dramatic.
  • Hates the cold.
  • Always on an e-scooter

Over 4-Inch Topper:

  • Probably doesn’t sleep much anyway.
  • Compensating.
  • Doesn’t know how to type properly.

So, there you have it. Sleep tight, Hoyas.

 

Sources: giphy.com

Wasting Money 101

We’re already a month into the school year, and I still only own one notebook and one pencil, so we’re off to a strong start :’)

Clearly, organization, planning and most other life skills may not be my strong suit, but there is something I’m good at: procrastinating. And what is my favorite form of procrastination? Wasting money on things I most definitely don’t need — ironically, I refuse to spend a single cent on any new school supplies.

While there are already many blog posts out there about saving money or offering ideas on creating a realistic budget, there aren’t a lot for once you’ve already accepted you don’t have the self-control for financial planning.

So, if you’re like me and also a lost cause when it comes to saving your hard-earned money, I’ve created an “anti-budget” of some of the ways and places I most frequently waste mine:

1. Uber

I  realize Ubers are necessary for many people and sometimes they are for me too. I take them to my job, to the airport, and to many other places where I actually need to be in a timely fashion. However, I also use them to go to IHOP at 2 a.m. or to pick me up on M Street when it’s starting to rain and I don’t want to walk back to campus. Basically, I’m lazy, and Uber now has a lot of my money. I haven’t yet gotten to the point of ordering them just to drive around for fun, but I’m rapidly approaching this rock bottom.

2. Saxby’s

I am not exaggerating when I say I think a solid quarter of my life savings has gone to Saxby’s. Here’s the situation: I’ve been drinking coffee since I was about 3 years old — really not sure why my parents not only allowed this, but also encouraged it. So, yes, I am addicted to coffee (thanks, Mom and Dad) but do I need to be spending $10 plus my firstborn child on it ? No. Do I anyway? Absolutely. I have so many regrets.

Actual budgeting advice: If you weren’t aware, Saxby’s does free refills if you stay and do work there.

3. On-Campus Vending Machines

The thing about vending machines is that you don’t feel like you’re spending a lot of money, but when you buy Smart Food at 3 a.m. in Lau for months on end, that $1.75 really adds up. I would recommend this tactic for a mostly guilt-free way to waste money — until you check your banking account and realize your grave miscalculation.

4. Any Corp Location

To put it simply, everything at The Corp is overpriced, but I love snacks. Sometimes I just really need a family-sized bag of barbecue chips at 11 p.m., and by sometimes, I mean approximately once a week. People say that The Corp is going under, but I mathematically don’t know how that’s possible considering how much they charge for a bag of chips. What are they doing with all my money??

5. Opera

If you don’t yet know what it is, do not find out. Going to opera is the equivalent of setting $20 on fire. If you want to pay someone to have a bad time, this one’s for you.

6. Online Shopping

I’m going to end with a classic — online shopping. It starts with “I’m going to browse,” and that turns into “I’m just going to add some stuff to my cart.” Then you black out and realize that you just put in your credit card information and bought three almost identical turtlenecks because you couldn’t decide, and all of them were on sale, so it had to be a good deal, right?

I’m hoping this list will give me a wake-up call for my irresponsible spending habits. (It probably won’t.) Please feel free to judge me and the way I handle money, but if you decide to take any of my suggestions, I will not judge you.

Sources: https://giphy.com, pinterest.com

Midterm Szn: Sophomore Year Edition

It’s sophomore year, ladies and gentlemen, which means we’re all ~experienced~ and can now look down on the lowly freshmen who walk the dreaded path to Darnall Hall. But besides the slightly upgraded situation — minus all the rats that bless our apartments, dorms and townhouses (#stayclassygtown) — all of us have really grown as individuals, haven’t we? I mean, new semester, new us, right?

Lo and behold, midterm season is upon us right in the midst of rejections from clubs, jobs and whatever else we pre-professional Hoyas dream of attaining.

As sophomores, we’ve moved on from competing to get into the most exclusive clubs (not really though) and comparing midterm grades (eh, have we really?). Instead, we’ve moved onto bigger, better and brighter things: jobs and internships.

So, here it is dear Hoyas: the types of people during midterm #szn, sophomore year edition.

1. The Bragger

This person constantly notes how many classes they’re taking on top of their internship for the Department of Justice, some fancy senator or the White House.  And SOMEHOW they will find a way to sneak their GPA into the discussion.

Here’s an example: “The weather is beautiful today. Almost as beautiful as opening MyAccess and seeing that stunning 3.9 GPA.” Did I ask for your resume? No. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize me saying “excuse me” to grab a pack of gummy bears was the green light for you to tell me that, on top of your 10 classes that are all 6 credits and your ~amazing, pre-professional~ internship, you have four midterms Thursday. Seriously. I just want my gummy bears.

2. The Coffee Addict

To be honest, I’m almost positive I spent my life savings at Midnight Mug the night I was cooped up in a Lau 2 study room for nine hours. To the people on shift that night, I truly apologize. If you had to make a non-fat large chai latte, chances are, it was mine. Much love to everyone at Midnight.

That confession aside, we should come clean: All of us have been this person. I think we can all come to the general consensus that a diet solely consisting of coffee, more coffee and the occasional chocolate-covered coffee beans is most certainly not a sustainable way of living. Hoyas, if you ever get to the point where it takes you five espresso shots for your soul to even feel mildly stimulated,  please…I don’t even know. Self-care, self-love. Remember we’re trying to ~thrive~ not just survive.

3. The Zombie

I just don’t understand…like, what?? How can someone pull consecutive all-nighters and still function like a normal human being, or at least some semblance of one. Honey, seriously, I know the chairs on Lau 2 can seem really comfortable if it’s 5 a.m., but please go back to your bed and sleep there.

On the note of sleep deprivation, let’s talk about eye bags. Well, it’s a look for sure. Moral of the story: Get on that healthy #Hoya sleep schedule with an average of 4.5 hours a night.*

*Don’t come for me if that statistic is wrong pls. It’s really a guesstimate. Thx.

Well, there you have it. Happy midterm #szn, Hoyas. If your intense course load and grueling internships don’t break you, lack of sleep will! Such exciting prospects. We at 4E sincerely wish you the best of luck.

Sources: giphy.com, tumblr.com

The Five Stages of Being Sick at Georgetown

If you haven’t spent these past weeks drowning in used tissues and Advil, this Hoya desperately wants to know your secret.  Yes! You heard that barely concealed coughing fit from the back of your crowded microeconomics lecture correctly, the Georgetown Plague™ is upon us.

While we may be living in a petri dish, at least the relatability of this struggle can be exploited by your friends at 4E. Here are the five stages of being sick on the Hilltop:

1. Attempting home remedy

Throat coat?  Check. Advil?  Check. Suddenly wishing you were pre-med?  Check. All of the Aspirin that you packed from home might be able to save you, right?  Right??

Although copious amounts of tea and Tylenol can’t stop your impending doom, it won’t stop you from trying! 

2. Taking a trip to the Student Health Center

After your own medical knowledge fails, surely Georgetown, the fine institution you are paying your life savings to attend, will be able to rescue you from yourself!  A quick 30-minute phone call later, you’ve booked an appointment to see a doctor… next Thursday.

3. Accepting your fate

It’s true!  Sometimes you need to be sick in order to appreciate being well — or, at least, that’s what you tell yourself to feel better! Your roommate has to inevitably put up with 4 a.m. coughing fits, and you have to fight through that 9 a.m. lecture while putting up with dirty looks from students and professors alike.

Apparently, being sick is a natural part of life. Just one that no one wants to experience.

4. Freedom

The long journey comes to an end. Alas now, you have no more excuses for procrastinating your midterm paper!

The sudden rebirth you feel is accompanied by a newfound appreciation for health, along with promises to work out at Yates every day and stop eating Chick-Fil-A every night.

 

5. Repetition

That’s right folks, your already-weakened immune system will inevitably fail you again!  The close quarters of dorm life and crowded Vil A rooftops are breeding grounds for contamination.  

But fear not!  Because if you can survive the Georgetown Plague™, you can easily survive anything the Hilltop throws your way.

From all of us here at 4E, get well soon!

Sources: giphy.com, choicechiropractic.net

A Very GUSA Midterm

Fellow Hoyas, this Sunday, Sept. 30, is the fall semester’s GUSA senate election. Flyers plaster the walls, ads spam Facebook feeds and candidates attempt to jump you while looking for votes.

While this time could be met with apathy or even disdain, it remains an  important part of school life. Representation matters! 

Hoya staffers are not permitted to advocate for specific candidates, but it is paramount for the press to report on politics — school or otherwise.

So, without promoting any political position, here are some people you should think about while voting this Sunday.

Abraham Lincoln

This man is an obvious first mention. During the United States’ greatest trial, President Abraham “Lumbermill” Lincoln sought to bring the country together. Balancing his values and his pragmatism, he ultimately rekindled national unity. Known for his supreme storytelling and humility, Lincoln could relate to every man.

Honest Abe is the real deal.

Abigail Adams

It would be a disservice to the second first lady to refer to her simply as “the wife of President John Adams.” Abigail “Equality Now” Adams has much more weight than just being some white guy’s spouse. Adams was, in many respects, incredibly ahead of her time — vocalizing her abhorrence of slavery and demanding that if “all men are created equal,” they should be equally treated as such.

Abigail Adams is nobody’s fool.

Benito Mussolini

Very sharp turn with this one, and not really a problem in student government elections. Still, solid advice: Don’t vote for a fascist, racist maniac like this one.

Writer’s note: This image does not, in fact, show Benito Mussolini, but rather Dwight Schrute’s famous speech from Season 2, Episode 17 of “The Office.”

Conan O’Brien

Anything I write will include Conan O’Brien. A ~Harvard graduate~, Conan displays his wit and intelligence not only through his live comedy but also through his clever and often absurdist writing. Both eloquent and goofy, Conan seldom aggrandizes himself, choosing self-deprecation instead of the typical teasing.

Sit down, be Conan.

Todd Olson, Ph.D.

The beloved vice president for student affairs is the paragon of leadership. Though he spends his life telling us to stop waking up the neighbors, the man really just wants the best for his Hoya-kiddos. Vote for that person who’s just giving their earnest.

It’s time…

With these examples of character in mind, it’s your turn to do some research. As much as it probably pains you, go to all those Facebook pages explaining the GUSA candidates’ platforms. Find someone you trust and respect, whose ideas resonate with what you believe needs to be done. And, absolutely, compare them with historical icons.

But if you end up skipping these elections, please don’t sit out come Nov. 6, the real midterms that have palpable effects on how this country functions. By that time, apathy and cynicism simply aren’t options.

Happy voting!

 

Sources: giphy.com

Ways to Cope With Club Rejection

Hey, Hoyas! It’s that time of the year again: Rejection Week. Those seven days where you suddenly discover that you’re unwanted by the all the things you ~thought~ you were passionate about. Anyway, here are some ways to cope  while getting over the club rejection blues.

0. Give up*

Yeah, that’s right. You gave it your best, and it fell through. What’s the point? The world has just told you that you’re just not good enough, so give up.

Like Willy Wonka says, “You get… NOTHING!!! You lose! GOOD DAY, SIR!’

*The Writer would like to inform the reader at this point that this advice is not legitimate and must not be taken entirely seriously. Do, however, feel free to rewatch the original version of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (and not the creepy 2005 remake starring Johnny Depp.)

1. Try something new

While calling it quits shouldn’t really be a reaction to rejection, experimentation is entirely legitimate. You may not have gotten exactly what you wanted, but that one missed opportunity leaves a realm of possibilities to discover. All that time you would’ve spent playing volleyball, practicing improv, or making coffee can be used to discover all the things campus has to offer.

Barack Obama White House Correspondents Dinner 2013 GIF by Obama - Find & Share on GIPHY

Try another sport. Join a different comedy group. Work at Starbucks.

Think outside the box and join Anime Club.

You could very easily discover something else you love just as much.

2. Gather the other rejects and make your own club

Just because you were “rejected” doesn’t mean you’re alone…or even talentless. We all know that club culture is notoriously cutthroat, and sometimes, organizations simply can’t let everyone in. It’s not personal, it’s just business.

In that case, find the people who share your interests–and your hardship–and work together. If you really love the thing that rejected you, chances are you have a clear vision of what you want from it and how to make it better. Stronger. Perfect.

Find allies. Build your strength. One day you may even surpass those who abandoned you. And won’t that be a delightful?

3. Practice, practice, practice

And if you just don’t like talking to people, go solo. 

If you’re a rejected writer, keep writing. If you’re a rejected comedian, keep making people laugh. Rejected actors, make a one-man show. Rejected GUASFCU people, give out sketchy loans and charge exorbitant interest.

Whatever it is you’re passionate about, don’t give it up. Keep playing to your strengths and feelings. Refine your craft so that next year, they don’t have a choice but to take you.

And, if not, you’ll really know what you love and no one can tell you otherwise.

4. Spend time with your friends

While you shouldn’t give up, sometimes you just need a break. If you don’t want to go too hard on refining your craft or making a new club, then just spend time with your friends. We promise we won’t judge your Netflix marathons. 

Those people will keep supporting you, and they will always see the value in what you create or the abilities you are most proud of.

And remember, sometimes your friends know friends who also have friends. Expand your horizons and make new connections. This is what we call ~networking~.  Stay positive and don’t be salty about the past- good things usually come when you least expect it. 

5. Focus on school

Maybe some free time is exactly what you needed. Midterms are on the horizon. Papers, essays, quizzes, readings will start to get a ~little~ heavier soon. Use the time you have to make the rest of the semester as smooth as possible.

If you really put in the time, who knows? You might even end up taking an interest in one of your classes. Stranger things have happened.

It’s also what you’re paying for at the end of the day, and you don’t want to screw that up. S/o to all the parents who clicked on this. 

When all is said and done…

Rejection is always difficult. Especially in a time (and in a city) where getting what you want is a sign of success. Compromise and acceptance are forgotten arts. 

So, we leave you with this:

“The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity, and with clarity comes conviction and true originality.”

–Conan O’Brien

Keep your heads up, kids. Keep on keepin’ on.

 

Sources: giphy.com,

What Your Georgetown Study Spot Says About You

Less than a month into the school year and it’s already ~midterm szn~. As Hoyas are still recovering from the aftermath of homecoming and the unfortunate loss of Wingo’s (I still don’t want to talk about it), we are nonetheless forced to transition from our summertime laziness into the academic school year.

Whether you study diligently on Lau 2 or walk into the classroom not knowing you even had an exam, here are what your Hilltop study spots say about you:

MSB

MSBro by day and white button-down/Gucci Belt enthusiast by night, you dive into the textbooks in order to someday become a big-balling investment banker. You’re probably that person who not only brings an abundance of pens to class, but also refuses to lend any of them them to anyone. On a Saturday night, we can find you generously hosting a pre-game but also anxiously telling your friends to “SHUT UP AND HIDE  EVERYTHING” at the sound of a suspiciously loud knock on your door. Although you epitomize the “my daddy is richer than yours” complex, we still appreciate your ability to work hard and play hard– especially when you’re flaunting your clout goggles in the basement of a sweaty GPB party.

Lau

Whether you’re working on Lau 2 or Lau 5, we all know you only dragged yourself here because you have to pull an all-nighter. Odds are you ‘prefer’ to buy Burnetts simply because it’s the cheapest option. You are also probably that perpetually sick person who coughs every ten seconds during a 200-person lecture in the ICC (it’s okay though, we understand that setting up an appointment at the health center is literally impossible, so you’re excused). The lock screen on your iPhone is most likely still a screenshot of your schedule, and you are ~wild~ enough to address your professors by their first names in emails. Despite all this, we at 4E applaud anyone who chooses to spend time in the ugliest building on campus.

Bioethics Library

If you’re a girl, you probably paid for Premium Vsco X, and if you’re a guy, you probably pay for meals at Epi instead of using your meal swipes at Leo’s or Royal Jacket. Your motto is “fiscally conservative and socially liberal”, and there’s no way you’re not showing up to every SAE darty without knowing a single person there. Yates? Never heard of her– your boujee ass goes to Soul Cycle. You constantly talk about how much you love DC, yet you take a plane to NYC every weekend.

Front Lawn 

You truly believe that you are the Georgetown Poster Child, signing up for every club at CAB Fair and insta-storying in front of the John Carroll Statue. If you ran for GUSA, your campaign most definitely promised to “lower tuition” and “add Chick-Fil-A to the meal plan”. If Jack the Bulldog is walking around , you’re bound to stop whatever you’re doing to document it on an ~unnecessarily~ long Snapchat story. You probably got GERMSd at Club Lau (RIP) and speak Intermediate II Spanish while lit at sweaty Henles.

Your Room

In just ten hours of studying, you can accomplish an astounding twenty minutes of work! Of all the personalities we have covered, you are by far the laziest, as shown by the fact that you refuse to leave your humble abode. You would rather wait ten minutes for the Walsh elevator to go from floor 1 to 3, and your primary roommate tension stems from your refusal to abandon your comfortable bed when it’s time to get sexiled. If it rains (s/o every day for the past two weeks), you will hold yourself hostage in your own room, even if that means resorting to calling Wisey’s for delivery. Chances are you’re getting absolutely no work done and are either playing video games, watching cooking videos on Youtube, or napping.

Wherever you decide to study, we at 4E are impressed that you’re at least attempting to be an ~academic weapon~. Your parents are proud. Happy studying to all the Hoyas, and good luck on your midterms!

 

Sources: giphy.com, hercampus.com

 

Mr. Georgetown 2018 Preview

Homecoming weekend means one thing: Mr. Georgetown is back! You probably weren’t fast enough to score tickets to the ~hottest~ event of the year, but luckily you can still learn a little bit more about the best that Georgetown has to offer. We sat down with the contestants to give you an exclusive sneak peak of Mr. Georgetown 2018.


Ryan Yoch- Mr. Hoya Blue

Hometown: Twin Cities, Minn.

School: College

Major: Government, Minor: Arabic and Business Administration

What do you love the most about Hoya Blue?

The moment when you lose yourself in a sporting event, where everything else in the entire world ceases to exist and all you can watch is that shot, that play, and all you want is for it to go in — it’s the greatest feeling in the world. You get addicted to it.

Who is your favorite Georgetown alum?

I’ve got to rep Hoya Blue: Allen Iverson.

What is your most beautiful feature?

My deep, gravelly Hoya Blue voice that I bring out for sporting events. (Editor’s Note: Ryan demonstrated this voice for me and it was pretty impressive).

Jorge DeNeve- Mr. The Voice

Hometown: Los Angeles, Calif.

School: College

Major: Math and Economics

What do love the most about The Voice?

If you’re really passionate about writing and if you enjoy it, those are the people that are going to stick around. As we continue to bring in more people who are like-minded in terms of their enthusiasm, people really put their heart and soul into the organization. I really enjoy the dedication and camaraderie we all have.

What is your favorite spot on campus?

Shaw Field. I’ve covered women’s soccer for two years and I have a spot in the middle of the bleachers, fourth row, right behind the coach. Watching them make their run to the Final Four in 2016 and in the Big East Tournament last year was a lot of fun. I’ll always associate that spot with good memories.

What is your most beautiful feature?

I play soccer. My right foot.

JD Donohue- Mr. Superfood

Hometown: Spring Lake, N.J.

School: MSB

Major: OPIM, Minor: Government

What do you love the most about Superfood?

It’s an outlet for creativity. Especially when you’re 21 and the world is starting to get serious, you can go joke around and sing for a few hours a week. And the people. When I went abroad, the people I missed the most were all in Superfood.

Who is your favorite Georgetown alum?

For famous alum, Bradley Cooper. But I also want to shout out to my friend Christy, who is coming to Mr. Georgetown. We met in Superfood when I was a freshman and she was a senior and we were immediate soul friends.

What is your favorite spot on campus?

The HFSC (Editor’s Note: JD thinks saying “Heal Fam Stu Cen” is “cumbersome”).

William Morris- Mr. NSO

Hometown: Dallas, Texas

School: College

Major: American Studies and Government, Minor: Theology

What do you love the most about NSO?

I love how we have the opportunity to welcome students and their families to Georgetown. We have the chance to be their first impression of their time on the Hilltop and we can help set them up for success.

What is your favorite spot on campus?

The deck on the seventh floor of Arrupe. Incredible view of campus and D.C.

What is your most beautiful feature?

My dazzling smile.

Jose Villalobos Gonzalez- Mr. Ritmo y Sabor

Hometown: Mexico City, Mexico

School: SFS

Major: STIA,  with a concentration in international development

What do you love the most about Ritmo y Sabor?

It feels like a little bit of home. Being in a foreign country where the culture is so different from Latin America, it’s really nice having a place where you can joke around about familiar things and share a little bit of your culture. Whenever we perform, we try to impress the sense that it’s more than just a flashy dance and is actually a part of a larger culture.

What is your favorite meme in the meme page?

The one about how you describe working at the RHO on your resume.

What is your most beautiful feature?

My eyebrows.

Micheal Whittington- Mr. GU Women of Color

Hometown: Trenton, N.J.

School: College

Major: Biochemistry, Minor: Japanese

What do you love the most about GU Women of Color?

For me, it’s the executive board. A lot of them are my close friends and they are all so intelligent, so articulate and so go-and-get-after-it. It’s really awe-inspiring to watch.

What is your favorite meme on the meme page?

I don’t have a singular favorite, but anything involving John Degioia’s face.

What is your most beautiful feature?

My smile.

Michael Chanen- Mr. GERMS

Hometown: Seattle, Wash.

School: College

Major: Physics

What do you love most about GERMS?

There are a lot of integrative aspects that are similar to the field of study that I want to pursue. Being able to interact with patients and feel like I’m providing a substantive good to my community is a really cool part of GERMS that I don’t think I would get elsewhere.

Who is your favorite Georgetown alum?

Jenny Frankie. She graduated last year. She is a really lovely and sweet individual who makes me happy whenever I talk to her.

What is your favorite spot on campus?

Lau 2. I spend so much time there — I spent more time there sophomore year studying for Organic Chemisty than I did in my own room. There are so many friends I’ve met on Lau 2 and I have a lot of sentimental memories there. It’s awful and hideous, but if I were in some other, nice library, I would spend all my time looking around and wouldn’t get my work done.

Marcos Morales- Mr. GIVES

Hometown: Santa Barbara, Calif.

School: MSB

Major: Marketing and Management

What do you love about GIVES?

The people. They’re some of the nicest and kindest people that I’ve met here at Georgetown and they make you happy to be around them

What is your favorite meme on the meme page?

The one where the honor council plagiarized the email warning us not to plagiarize. 

What is your most beautiful feature? 

My eyebrows. I’ve been told I have very thick eyebrows and I take that as a compliment.

Jeremy Canfield- Mr. Running Club

Hometown: Shrewsbury, Mass.

School: College

Major: Physics and Math

What do you love the most about the running club?

It’s open to everyone. A lot of people hear running club and their immediate thought is that they might not be fast enough, but speaking from personal experience, there really is no “level” needed to be in running club. So you get a very wide and diverse group of people. They really represent the university well and I’ve met all of my best friends through it.

Who is your favorite Georgetown alum?

My former roommate Cameron. He graduated last year and is one of my best friends. He’s already doing great things. He’ll be going to Papua New Guinea for his job soon and I’m really proud of the work he’s doing.

What is your most beautiful feature?

I love my hair. It’s a pretty rare color and I think I’ve found a good style for it.

Jake Moran- Mr. Club Swimming

Hometown: Wayne, Pa.

School: SFS

Major: International Political Economy

What do you love the most about club swimming?

The team spirit, the camaraderie and the friends I’ve made here. I’ve found a home doing something I love and I got to resurrect my swimming career after high school.

Who is your favorite Georgetown alum?

My mother because she inspires me.

What is your favorite meme on the meme page?

The meme about the fire alarms in the Southwest Quad and how all the fathers are going to sue.

Will Glynn- Mr. Ultimate Frisbee

Hometown: Wilton, Conn.

School: College

Major: Government and Economics

What do you love the most about ultimate frisbee?

The community. It’s where I found my place at Georgetown. Even if you’re not super athletically inclined, you can find a place. The people involved are wonderful and really enjoy welcoming newcomers.

Who is your favorite Georgetown alum?

Patrick Seaman, the former president of our club.

What is your most beautiful feature?

My personality.

Luis Montoya- Mr. College Academic Council

Hometown: Whitney, Texas

School: College

Major: Biology, Minor: Chemistry

What do you love the most about the College Academic Council?

I love that we serve as a liaison between the students and the deans. We provide a way for the student body to share their thoughts and ideas with deans. As a science major (on a campus that can seem full of government majors), it’s really important to me to have that representation and make sure that all voices are heard.

Who is your favorite Georgetown alum?

Bradley Cooper.

What is your most beautiful feature?

My teeth or my personality.

Brendan Stelmach- Mr. International Relations Club

Hometown: Chicago, Ill.

School: SFS

Major: International Politics

What do you love the most about the International Relations Club?

What I love the most is the ability to travel. Through the club I’ve gone to New York, Boston, Montreal and Panama City. I love the ability to act on the international part and gain new experiences.

Who is your favorite Georgetown alum?

Jack Ludtke. He graduated two years ago. I’m actually succeeding him as Mr. IRC. His talent was doing a PowerPoint presentation and while he didn’t win, he was probably the nicest guy I’ve met at Georgetown.

What is your favorite meme on the meme page?

I actually submitted one once. It’s the pregame in New South starter pack.

Sagar Anne- Mr. The Hoya

Hometown: Hong Kong

School: MSB

Major: Finance, Minor: Math

What do you love the most about The Hoya?

The people. We have a great culture.

Who is your favorite Georgetown alum?

Patrick Ewing.

What is your most beautiful feature?

Definitely my hair.

 

Not Pictured But Participating: Alex Coopersmith (Mr. Jewish Student Alliance), Harry Clow (Mr. GUGS) and JJ Larkins (Mr. Jawani).

 

We’ll see you all in Gaston Hall on Friday Night! May the best Hoya win!