7 Memes That Describe Yates

It’s that time of year again. Midterms are hitting hard, and one of the few ways Hoyas can compensate for late nights and hair-pulling study sessions is food. Greasy, delicious food. But after exams end and Late-Night Dominos Regret (LNDR™) kicks in, where does one turn?

For most NARPs, Yates Field House is the place where dignity and self-respect body insecurities go to die. For better or worse, here are some memes that describe the distinct pleasure known as working out at Yates:

1. Why? (WHY?!)

If you’ve felt an obligation to visit Georgetown’s finest plebeian fitness center (see #6), good for you. You are a health-conscious and tuition-paying (i.e. breathing) member of the Georgetown community! Whereas at most institutions of higher education students get to choose whether to belong to a gym, we Hoyas have that decision made for us by good old ~cura personalis~.(Side Note: Does this mean that if I gain the Freshman Fifteen I can get my money back?)

2.  Getting There

As if we didn’t have enough sets of stairs to deal with (see: Leavey, WGR, Lau, etc.), the stairs on the way to our gym are basically a 90-degree angle. If you make it over these steps, congratulations! The battle is already won. Be sure to let us know what it’s like on the other side.

Pro Tip: A really great way to get your workout in is by forgetting all of your things (water bottle, keys, headphones, etc.) in your dorm and running up the Yates steps every time before turning around and going back for more.

3. The Debauchery Dilemma

We at 4E are familiar with debauchery. As world-class bloggers, an “excessive indulgence in sensual pleasures” is essential to our craft. Like many Hoyas, we struggle with that classic Saturday or Sunday morning (or whenever #youdoyou) question: to work out, or not to work out?

4. Motivation

Sometimes you just have to take the E for effort. Unlike everything else in our lives, we Hoyas are not bound by any standards when it comes to physical fitness (unless, of course, you are a ~varsity~ athlete). Thus, “workouts” at Yates are often consolidated with procrastination/free time, and end up looking a little something like this:

5. The Best People You Will Ever Meet

We Hoyas are a talented bunch. Many of us demonstrated both academic and athletic excellence in high school, and probably wrote a generic, yet moving story for our application about overcoming a sports injury that somehow earned us admission to a top college. Well, friends, high school is over!

Your athletic trophies are getting dusty, and it’s time to face the music: You are just like everyone elseFeel free to continue wearing your old lax jersey while getting #swole with your boys, but just know that we actually don’t care.

6. Georgetown Doesn’t Favor Athl–

When stepping onto campus this fall, many of you probably wondered, “What is that beautiful castle new building on the other side of Southwest Quad?” Now, there have been rumors that it’s a ~Georgetown-Athletics-Only~ gym, but according to inside sources, here’s the actual story – the John R. Thompson Jr. Intercollegiate Athletic Center is actually a warehouse-sized laboratory where coaches raise athletes from birth to win NCAA championships. For protocol on how to greet these wondrous students should they ever grace Yates with their presence, see here.

7. #hoyaspartysmart

Hoyas like to keep fit. When special events roll around, we don’t just drop our self-care responsibilities and let ourselves go. Come Homecoming and Georgetown Day, you can find us (in the immortal words of Fergie) “up in the gym, working on [our] fitness.”

Girl, you tasty. But maybe bring some water with you too, just in case.

Just remember: Hate On Yates Always! Go Hoyas!

Photos/Gifs/Content: giphy.com, dictionary.com, facebook.com (georgetown memes for non-conforming jesuit teens)

36 Questions That Lead to Love at Georgetown

We’ve all heard it before; heck, those lucky guides in Blue & Gray tout it as one of the shining moments of a campus tour, delivered while standing in front of historic Dahlgren Chapel:

“Why yes, 60% of Hoyas do marry other Hoyas!”
*Guide shares a knowing smile with mom in crowd nudging her clearly uninterested son.*

Incredible, right?

Perhaps you’ve met your other half here on the Hilltop; maybe you’re part of the rumored 40% who will *enter dramatic music* meet your significant other after leaving Georgetown. 

Regardless, why not try finding love here now? Taking a page out of the New York Times Modern Love column, we at 4E developed…

The 36 Questions That Lead to Love at Georgetown

The 36 questions are broken down into three parts. As you complete each section, the questions will get more and more intimate. If at any point in the in the questionnaire you feel uncomfortable, you may cease and desist. If this is your decision, we at 4E ask that you leave your partner without any notice in order to ensure that you two will avoid eye contact if you ever just so happen to be crossing Healy Lawn at the same time ever again.

Why not ask that special someone to a coffee date, a romantic night at Domino’s Pizza or a stroll to the benches in front of Dahlgren Chapel, just to set the mood? Take a chance on love and ask them these 36 questions. After all, love doesn’t just happen; it’s a choice.

*Disclaimer: 4E is not responsible for any unsuccessful love stories, as this is not a scientific study backed by any supporting evidence. However, we will take full credit if you do find love using our methods. We welcome you to send all complaints and/or suggestions to dja54@georgetown.edu.*

Part I

  1. Given the choice of any person in the world, who would you like to be your “Problem of God” professor?
  2. Would you like to be Georgetown famous? In like a “mentioned on Georgetown Confessions” way? Or maybe in a “God, can you believe he wrote a confession about himself?” kind of way?
  3. Before putting in your order at the pasta line at Leo’s, do you ever rehearse what you’ll say to the jolly employee?
  4. What would constitute a perfect Georgetown Day for you?
  5. When did you last “accidentally” order two quesadillas at Epi for yourself?
  6. If you make it big in the real world, what will be the first thing you give to Georgetown’s campus that it so desperately needs?
  7. Do you have a secret hunch about why Rhino closed despite it’s undeniable earning power among Hoyas both above and underage?
  8. On the count of three, name your go-to Wisey’s order.
  9. What flavor of Burnett’s are you most grateful for?
  10. If you could change anything about your time on the Hilltop, what would it be?
  11. Take 90 seconds to tell your partner how Quick Pita positively impacted your life before its passing.
  12. If you could wake up tomorrow with the power to change one thing permanently at Georgetown, what would it be?
    Part II
  13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, would you want to know if you’re working at Goldman Sachs, Deloitte or Teach for America?
  14. Is there a place on campus you’ve dreamed of taking that special someone to for a long time? Why don’t you lead them to Reiss rooftop right now?
  15. Without naming any clubs you finally got into, classes you aced or the number of chicken fingers you can down on Chicken Finger Thursday, what has been the greatest accomplishment of your Hoya existence?
  16. What do you value more in a roommate: cleanliness or their number of housing points?
  17. What is your most treasured memory that occurred after 11 p.m. on a Thursday night?
  18. What is your most terrible memory that occurred after 11 p.m. on a Thursday night?
  19. Knowing that graduation is looming, what is stopping you from going after the Hoya that got away?
  20. What did/does your friendship with your freshman year roommate mean to you?
  21. Has your love and affection for our men’s basketball team, despite the heartbreak inflicted, had a positive effect on your Georgetown experience?
  22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive side effect of living in D.C. Share three items each.
  23. How tight-knit was your freshman floor? Do you feel that your freshman year experience on Darnall 6 was happier than that of most other Hoyas?
  24. On a scale of 1 to 10, how close are you with your dean?
    Part III
  25. Make three “we” statements with your partner. For example, “We at this bench have both stolen rolls of toilet paper from Regents and smuggled them out under our Barbour jackets.”
  26. Finish this sentence on the count of three: “I wish someone at Georgetown had told me … ” *Editor’s note – Do not both say your wish out loud at the same time. This will cancel out all wish-granting or time-travelling powers from the ghost of John Carroll who will be listening in from the clock tower.*
  27. Take turns sharing the basis, and then nitty-gritty details of the personal essay you submitted in your original Georgetown application.
  28. After taking one minute to dig through your memory bank, tell your partner about the first time that you saw them on campus. Be very honest as you explain what your first impression of your partner was.
  29. Share with your partner when or if this first impression changed.
  30. When was the first time you cried because Georgetown, in all its glory and madness, got the best of you?
  31. Tell your partner what you admire most about them.
  32. What, if anything, do you think Hoyas should care more about?
  33. Imagine that you are at the Lincoln Memorial watching the sunrise on the morning of your graduation. You will never again be surrounded by all your fellow classmates in one spot ever again. What is one thing you regret not having told someone, be they a friend or a face in the crowd who never became anything more?
  34. Why haven’t you told the aforementioned person what you think yet?
  35. Of all your friends, colleagues, professors, Jesuits or four-legged friends on the Hilltop, who are you most afraid of losing, metaphysically or metaphorically?
  36. Stand up and grab your partners’ hands in your own. Set a timer and stare into each others eyes soundlessly for 228 seconds, one for every year of Georgetown’s existence.

Thank you for your participation! Now get over to Tombs and laugh about how silly that was. Or, maybe it wasn’t. Best of luck.

Photos/Gifs: buzzfeed.com, giphy.com

Predicting a Freshman’s Georgetown Day

Banner - ForecastWell friends, it’s that time of year: the last week of classes. We’re almost to the point where we don’t have to go class every day of the week. Summer is so close, yet so far (because of the gloom of finals that hangs over our head). But fear not! There’s something even closer than finals that shines a little lot of light on our lives: Georgetown Day. There’s only one thing we at 4E can say about God’s springtime gift to us:

Actually, there’s a lot more we can say about Georgetown Day (just search it on our site). As a fledgling in September, I could only dream of Georgetown Day. I heard so much about it from upperclassmen. They talked about how it was like the Homecoming of the Spring, how it was a free pass to skip class to have the time of your life on a weekday and how it symbolized another terrific year coming to an end. I figured it had to be a great day. If it was anything like Homecoming, things were sure to get…crazy. However, I could not truly know what they were talking about since I still had not yet experienced it. But here we are. It’s time to celebrate in true Homecoming fashion:

*Only if you’re 21+, of course*

As I’m sure many other freshmen have not yet experienced Georgetown Day (and to those who have, congrats, but you’re still in our grade), I have composed a series of forecasts. Weather? Unimportant. I’m forecasting what may (or, disclaimer: may NOT) happen to you on this fateful day:

  1. Black out or back out. You’re at it from the get-go. One of your clubs starts partying at 7 AM and you are there right on time. You throw back some mimosas and before you know it, you switch to some stronger liquids. DANGEROUS, but you still pull through. The morning flies by and soon you’re strolling across campus, out of your mind feeling ~young, wild and free~. In the back of your mind, you know that there are going to be some pretty bad pictures of you the next day. You start to feel a bit more normal and decide to nap. But wait. You get dragged to another party before you can go sleep, but luckily the bouncer turns you away. Next, you run into another upperclassmen in your club (that met at 7 AM), and she convinces you to return to the party. Before you know, you’re back at it again. You later text some of your friends to see who’s up for Leo’s because at this point, food is the only option. One of them responds, so you leave the party…and you wake up in your bed at 2 AM, alone and confused. How did you get there? No one knows. Not even you. You had fun during the day, but regret the fact that you went too hard and could not keep going. Overall, you consider your day to not be a win.
  2. Black out and DON’T back out. You’re a champion. Your Georgetown Day experience is basically the same as that of #1, except you don’t retire to your room at 5 PM. One might compare this experience to the opening of Dylan Thomas’s poem Do not go gentle into that good night because, like the persona says, you “rage, rage against the dying of light.” Nothing drags you down. You apparently make it to several parties and live out the saying “lights on, no one’s home,” because your mind is just not in a good place. Your friends inform you of your actions the next morning, but you look back on the day with no regrets. You know that you killed it, and you are proud of your freshmen year finale.
  3. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. This is, arguably, the best route to take on this glorious day. It’s the advice most upperclassmen give to freshmen when darties happen. You do not go too hard throughout the day; instead, you keep a nice feeling going for the entire day and maybe even part of the night. There is not a single moment when you’re feeling too out of control or too subdued. You have the time of your life and remember everything. Your day comes to a close, and you lie in your bed, absently smiling at the ceiling as you look on over your perceived victory. You made it through Georgetown Day alive and spent the entire celebration with your friends! At the moment, you feel like you just finished the best day of your life.
  4. Becoming Nurse Ratchet. You spend the day painfully sober, taking care of your friends who need a certain type of assistance. Instead of becoming Nurse Ratched from One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, you become Nurse Ratchet because…well, you know why this term applies here. Although I am all for helping friends, it would be not be very fun to take this route.

    Take care of them if necessary, but make sure you have fun too.

I, for one, am beyond excited for Friday. I think it’s going to be an ~interesting~ experience, especially if I and my classmates decide to go to our Problem of God section at 1 PM. The forecasts listed above give a general outline of how the day may go. Of course, anything could happen. There is always room for surprises on days like these. Which path will you take (or which will take you)?

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, wruf.com

Holy Horses: A Guide to FoxField’s

Foxfields

While everyone is talking about the joy that is Georgetown Day (THIS FRIDAY), there is another critical event this weekend that we need to cover: FoxField’s! 4E has informed you how to look foxxy for this fabulous event, but this year we are going to provide you with the advice you never knew you needed. Here are some critical tips from a seasoned professional:

1. Pack snacks, water and all the alcohol you could ever want/need. FoxField’s is in the middle of nowhere, so make sure you have everything you could ever need to survive, or else you are going to be dying on the trip back.

2. Pick a meeting space for your group. If you have a plot, you are golden. If not, make sure to choose a place to meet so that you don’t get lost and miss your bus. The Uber from Virginia back to the Hilltop is not a pretty one.

3. Bring some cash money. There are a bunch of vendors and food options at the fields, so make sure to bring some dinero to help you out.

4. Be prepared for all weather. Last year’s rain was H O R R I B L E, especially if you aren’t prepared. Bring some extra clothes or an umbrella to make your experience more bearable.

5. Save your phone battery. There is no service at FoxField’s, which is not good for the type of event it is. Save your Instas and Snaps for later, and enjoy the alcohol horses. Which brings me to my next point…

6. Take a lot of photos. Cause you all dressed up nice & it deserves to be documented.

7. Start slow. This is the day after Georgetown Day, so take that into account. You don’t want to be that person.

8. Power through. You can sleep on the bus. See some horses and live the life of a prep. Sleep is for the weak.

9. Actually eat. A midday reminder to eat could just save your life, and your liver. Forgetting could be your downfall. And, finally and most importantly…

10. DON’T GET LOST, MISS YOUR BUS OR GET ARRESTED. None of those things are fun, and will certainly put a damper on the weekend.

See you, your hats and all the pastels at the races (yes there are actually races).

Photos/Gifs: http://gifrific.com/; squarespace.com; buzzfeed.com; chickensmoothie.com; theodysseyonline.com

Excuses to Procrastinate Preregistration

Do you want to start worrying about what classes you’re taking next semester when you haven’t even finished midterms? Do you want to take five classes but only get into two of the five? Do you want to have 1738105 tabs open on your computer at once as you navigate MyAccess, Rate My Professors, and more?

Welcome to preregistration, Hoyas, because why register when you can PRE-register!

Here are the best excuses to procrastinate this daunting process, which tests even those who are well versed in the course catalogue and professor ratings:

“Still waiting on that Epi quesadilla I ordered at 1:30am”: How am I supposed to fill out my preregistration on an empty stomach? If you’re looking to diversify your purchases a little bit, click here.

“Trying to figure out the right way to go up the steps in front of Henle”: If you’ve ever tried to walk up these steps without looking awkward, you have failed. These steps force you to calculate your every move, something that takes up your precious preregistration time.

You probably look like this...
You probably look like this…

“Recovering from Georgetown Day”: Still missing: GoCard, room keys, dignity. If you didn’t lose something, did you really do Georgetown Day right?

“Waiting on my laundry to dry”: NEVER use dryer A4, you will have do a minimum of three cycles to dry your clothes. Honestly, you’d be better off wringing out your clothes by hand.

“I’m busy searching through my friends’ Facebook wall posts from 2009”: There is something so tempting about bringing up dirt from the middle school era. We were all different people then: people we don’t want to admit ever existed. It takes a long time to delete our own embarrassing posts, another reason to delay your preregistration.

“I never reset my MyAccess password so I can’t login anymore”: Passwords on passwords on passwords. There is no way to do anything if you can’t login, and for some reason, we have to change our passwords quite frequently.

“It’s happy hour somewhere”: Don’t pregame preregistration. This is more of an excuse to drink do something more than an excuse not to do preregistration, but whose counting?

happy hour

May you not get any of your first choices (because that lessens the chances I get mine)!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, hilariousgifs.com

Georgetown Day: A Retrospective

TD_DrakeNWTS_4-639x420Hello, and welcome to the other side of Georgetown Day. I am happy to report that I made it through my first Georgetown Day alive and with my dignity (mostly) intact.

SUCCESS

In fact, my biggest Georgetown Day fail was ordering a Chicken Madness without cheese or mayo, which is probably considered a sin in almost every world religion. In addition to a lifetime of memories, I also gained two unidentified pairs of sunglasses, got a sunburn, took a nap on Copley Lawn and harassed someone into giving me a bite of their Burger Madness.

Although my Georgetown Day was fairly standard and uneventful, there are many things that could have happened that would have made the day a legendary mess. Here are a few things that could have turned Georgetown Day from fun to frightening:

  1. I did not fall off of a Vil A rooftop, end up hopelessly lost and wandering in the ICC, or jump into anyone’s Uber.

  1. I did not end up lost and confused in Bethesda or New Carrollton. My obsession with the Metro could very easily have resulted in disastrous consequences.
Where am I?
  1. I did not end up on the bottom of the Tidal Basin. Side note: I am somewhat surprised that this has never happened to someone on Georgetown Day.

I’m glad you made it out of Georgetown Day in one piece. If you’re conscious and reading this, your life isn’t totally ruined beyond repair, so congratulations! Go forth and prosper with your new memories and stories from everyone’s favorite day of the year.

Gifs/Photos: reactiongifs.com, giphy.com, acclaimmag.com

Georgetown Day Fails

georgetownday

It’s that time of year again, Georgetown Day! 4E asked a few of our non-Freshman bloggers about their worst best Georgetown Day moments.

*Note: All the names in these stories have been removed. There is no way to figure out who everyone is.*

Contributor #1: “On Georgetown Day last year I kept getting the phrase “hooked up” confused with “hung out” for some reason. So, when I wanted to tell all my friends about how I had just hung out with someone I, mistakenly, told them I had hooked up with him. Fortunately they knew this wasn’t true because they had been with me the entire time (yeah, not sure why I was explaining this to them if they were there, #drunk), so they tried to get me to stop saying that. I got annoyed and obviously assumed they weren’t listening to anything I was saying so I just started yelling “BUT I JUST HOOKED UP WITH   (name redacted)  !” repeatedly outside of Lau. This person also happens to be in a Frat on campus, and one of his brothers also just happened to walk by while I was screaming this and witnessed the entire thing. I’m sure if I could actually remember any of this then I’d be embarrassed. But yeah, this is my confession.”

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Contributor #2: “Freshman year I had a Spanish oral at 11 a.m., so I decided to do a champagne brunch before then. However, this caused me to get super nervous, freak out before my final and go crazy in the ICC. Afterwards I was so scared I wasn’t drunk enough that I pregamed insanely hard and was #blackout by the time I got to the lawn. I remember very little from my time on the lawn. The only thing I do remember is screaming ‘Scotty doesn’t know’ at a super high volume before retreating to my 5 hour nap. Nothing was the same after that.”

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Contributor #3: “Like any good Hoya on her first Georgetown day I woke up at 7:30 a.m., excited to start the day. I proceeded to take a couple of shots before trying to cook breakfast – needless to say my ‘fried’ eggs were so poorly cooked I’m surprised they didn’t give me salmonella. Then I went to a classic ‘toasts to toast’ Georgetown Day party, during which I proceeded to finish off a bottle of André by myself, before moving on to more shots. Despite my roommate’s best efforts to force a bagel down my throat and sober me up a bit, I blacked out around 10:30 a.m. I woke up on a couch, my head in a trashcan, with my roommate and the senior boys who lived there looking down at me. I spent the rest of the day in my bed, alternating between passing out and dry heaving. I missed all of the Georgetown day activities, and obviously all of my classes. Total rookie move. Don’t be like me – eat a good breakfast and pace yourself or pay the price!” 

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Don’t make the same mistakes as these Georgetown Day veterans. Good luck and be sure to document all of it on social media.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com; elitedaily.com; georgetown.edu

The Georgetown Day Cup?

georgetowndaycup

With our favorite holiday, Georgetown Day, fast approaching, there is no way to control the excitement among Georgetown students!

We all know the deal, brunches, lawn, Foxfields and lots of mistakes. However, this year this is a new event to look out for on Georgetown Day weekend: the Georgetown Day Cup!

This Saturday, Apr. 25, GUSA Senate and The Corp will offer cash prices to the student group or organization that brings in the most empty red Solo cups and aluminum cans to one of three collection centers.

The group who brings in the most cups will be $300. Second place will receive $100 and third place will receive $50! All the money, all the prizes, how can you not say yes?

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Even better, PNC Bank will be providing free reusable water bottles to the first 200 people to visit the three waste collection centers on the day of the event. Water bottles fo’ free!

This event emerges after a health and recyclable friendly semester, with the creation of Cups for Campus, another organization that focuses on minimizing the use of red Solo cups. Yay Georgetown students for taking such initiative this semester!

For more information about this contest, check out the Facebook event. Start saving those cups now!

Photos/Gifs: gifsec.com, Facebook.com

Friday Fixat10ns: Georgetown Day

Georgetown_Day

As today marks the one week mark til our favorite holiday, GEORGETOWN DAY, 4E has crafted the ultimate pump up playlist.

Play it while you study, while you drink or maybe even on actual Georgetown Day! The limits are endless.

1.Uptown Funk- Mark Ronson (feat Bruno Mars). While this song is annoyingly popular, there is no better song to start of the day!

2. Four Five Seconds- Rihanna, Kanye West, Paul McCartney. Three of the best artists, one song…. how could you get any better?

3. Love Me Like You Do- Ellie Goulding. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!

4. Geronimo- Sheppard. This is personally my goto workout song, but it also is the most epic pregame to anything.

5. Summer- Calvin Harris. Cause it’s almost summer and there is nothing better!

6. Shut Up and Dance- Walk the Moon. Could be renamed shut up and rage with 4E.

7. Ghost- Ella Henderson. We keep, going to the lawn to rage. And we can’t contain how excited we are.

8. Santeria- Sublime. This song just reminds me of driving around, with the top down and my hair all in the wind (name that movie).

9. I Love It- Icona Pop (feat Charli XCX). This song sums up Georgetown Day freshman year and just brings back all the memories.

10. Wagon Wheel- Old Crow Medicine Show. Is there any other way to end a playlist, party or study sesh?!

Photo: thecorp.com

Meet the Professors: Manus Patten

Meet the ProfsFor the first installment of “Meet the Professors” I got to interview Biology Professor Manus Patten. He currently teaches Foundations of Biology II (Bio 104), but in past semesters he has taught Genetic Conflicts, Genetics and Evolution.

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What is your focus within the field of Biology?
Evolutionary theory and genetics.

What is your favorite thing about teaching?
When I’m teaching I feel like I’m actually doing something useful, you know, like I’m contributing something. I actually feel useful for a change.

What attracted you to Georgetown?
I was looking for a job in D.C. and Georgetown was advertising one. I’m lucky to have a job at a good university.

What’s your favorite thing about Georgetown?
The students. That’s easy. That’s not bullsh*t either – I feel like we have job candidates coming through who ask what it’s like to teach here and I just say the students are great. You’re actually teaching when you’re teaching here. I have complaints about teaching, but I can’t air those to my friends at other universities because it’s really not fair. The students are really good.

What are your thoughts on Georgetown Day?
I used to sometimes call my mother when I had too many drinks in college, and the next day I would call to apologize. And my mom would just say, “It’s okay, it’s just nice to be thought of.” So if people still come to class on Georgetown Day, it’s a nice thing because they could be doing a bunch of other things. I’m quite warmed by their presence, however inebriated they are. Then a part of me – I get really nostalgic because it’s a nice spring day and everyone’s having fun and I’m in my professor clothes and I just want to join them.

Does any particular day in lecture stand out to you – something a student said or did?
Honestly when I’m lecturing I have no idea what anyone’s going through. Sometimes after class someone will complain that the back of the room was really hot but I didn’t notice. A student could say, “I can’t believe that person got up and left with a bloody finger!” and I honestly would have no idea that happened. One time a couple years back I gave a lecture on my research, which is on genomic researching, and it had been advertised in the catalog handout. I gave the example of a tigon and a liger and it was one slide for an hour just to make the point. And one woman was really pressing me after the lecture about a liger. “Are the ligers real?” Sure enough, I got a real weirdo.

What do you do outside of Georgetown?
I go home, and I have a one-year-old. Every day is basically the same. I usually get home in time for dinner and bath, and then put her to bed. Then I hang out with my wife.

Favorite memory of college?
I really enjoyed the senior week right before we graduated.

If you could have any celebrity do a guest lecture, who would it be?
David Foster Wallace, the writer, and I would make him talk to the science students about writing and then about life.

If you could be any organism what would you be?
Maybe a ginkgo – they’re tall, they’re really good-looking and they’ve been around forever so they’re tested. Every year they produce these fruit-like seedpods and they stink. So if someone has it coming, you get to even the score once a year. But only females have the seedpods, so I guess I’d be a female ginkgo.

Any advice to students on how to make the most of their time in college?
I got lucky – I was coddled in college by a few professors because I took an interest in what they were doing. I think that’s rare. Mark Edmundson in his book “Why Teach?” said that if you just spend time with people who reflect your own interests back to you, it’s impossible to grow. So I guess seek out “uncool” professors – find out how it’s possible for someone to be so interested in something that you’re not. I think in college there were a lot of subjects that I wrote off because I thought they were silly and boring, but I realize now that someone thinks they’re interesting. So the key would be to find out from them what it is. That’s the point of a university – on campus you get a chance to talk to somebody about what it’s like to be him or her. It’s just not about a transfer of content, which is what online classes are doing. Part of me is sickened by the idea of moving content online and having that be “college.” But college is not the content – it’s the other stuff.

As you can see, Dr. Patten is a really great professor. He cares about his students and his research and is obviously very interested in learning. Look out for him as you wander through Regents or when you’re picking your future courses!

Want to enter your favorite teacher?

Photos: http://faculty.georgetown.edu/