Overheard At Epi

After having a ~fun~ night filled with about seven too many shots of lime Burnett’s, we all somehow inevitably end up at Epi. At this point, it’s a Georgetown tradition to drunkenly eat way more chicken quesadillas than our stomachs can possibly hold. Of course, though, while enjoying the food and ambiance of Epicurean, we are also bound to eavesdrop overhear some rather interesting conversations:

The Drunken Breakups

I’ve witnessed an abnormal amount of drunken breakups occur at Epi in my first year. The first one takes the prize for being the most entertaining to watch…

(I know, I know. I’m a horrible person sometimes, but aren’t we all?)

I remember sitting down in an Epi booth  my first weekend at Georgetown and hearing, “BUT I STILL LOVE YOU.”  Five seconds into the conversation, I was seriously invested. I did what anyone would do: I casually looked over. Picture it: A blatantly sober girl near tears and a blatantly drunk boy staring at his phone.

The awkward tension — filled with silent pauses, quiet sniffles and violently fast texting noises — was finally brought to an end when the girl slammed her hands down on the table and screamed, “JUST LOOK AT ME AND TALK TO ME.”

By this point, the horrible part of me was quite invested as I tried to sneakily watch this intense showdown while scarfing down my quesadilla. It was as though a staged and poorly-acted reality TV show was unfolding before me — truly the best late night entertainment.

But that’s not all. Perhaps the best — or worst, depending on how good of a human being you are — part was when the guy suddenly looked up at his supposed girlfriend, held his phone out and asked: “Hey, isn’t this girl hot?”

He paused to glance around as if he knew he had gathered an audience by this point and said, “We should probably end things now.”

All I can say is RIP to that relationship.

 Fork Theft 

Unless you brought your own silverware to college and never have to worry about being out of forks, knives and spoons, you’ve probably suffered while trying to eat a midnight snack.

Often, I find myself laying in bed, watching “That 70’s Show,” too lazy to make my way over to Leo’s. So, naturally, I make myself some Easy Mac, only to realize I am forkless.

More often than I’d like to admit, I wander into Epi in the late hours of the night, making my way over to the silverware section while waiting for food. Naturally, I ask myself what any sane and reasonable person would ask at 1 a.m.: “How many forks should I steal?”

I’m not alone. Just last week, I heard another girl ask her friend that question. The girl then proceeded to grab a fistful of forks and carelessly stuff them in the pockets of her jeans. Stay classy, Georgetown.

“Hey, can I have a bite of that?” 

I’d like to think all of us are giving, caring people who would help out a friend in need. Unfortunately, my giving, caring soul suddenly turns into an evil teenage girl when my food is at stake.

Imagine this: A girl sits down in a drunken stupor, happily gazing at a perfect grilled cheese. She picks it up, about to take the most satisfying bite when her friend taps her shoulder, his face moving close to her food while saying, “Hey, can I have a bite of that?”

Then without waiting for a proper response, he takes a gigantic bite out of her sandwich. That was probably the first time my heart actually broke. I’ve never felt so bad for another person.

Final Thoughts

I think we can come to the general consensus that the most profound, enlightening and insightful of conversations occur at Epi in the wee hours of the morning. And remember, if you want to steal all the plastic forks and spoons, bring a bag.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, thehoya.com

Monday Music Update! (Week of 1/29/18)

Hope everyone is alive after the weekend! Here’s this week’s playlist. Enjoy!

  1. “Lean On You” — Russ
  2. “No More Interviews” — Big Sean
  3. “Too Fast” — Sonder
  4. “Mine” — Bazzi
  5. “I Got Me” — Snoopy Dinero ft. A Boogie
  6. “I Don’t Know Ft. PNB Rock” — A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie
  7. “Love Me (GAMPER & DADONI Remix)” — Forest Blakk
  8. “Bout A Thing (feat. Ava King) (PROVI Remix)” — SA
  9. “One Love” — MÖWE
  10.  “Never Be the Same” — Hiko Momoji
  11. “Stir Fry” — Migos
  12.  “Gassed Up” — Nebu Kiniza

Here’s to another week! Photos/Gifs/Music: soundcloud.com, spotify.com, giphy.com

Monday Music Update! (Week of 1/22/18)

Hope classes haven’t made you cry yet! Here’s this week’s playlist — back and better than ever.

  1. “Personal” — PLAZA
    https://open.spotify.com/track/3cQ2X0PIJOWgOdkfvSmQtg
  2. “Inconsiderate” — Reo Cragun
    https://open.spotify.com/track/3JOOLOLLZZC8oIdlResRJA
  3. “God’s Plan” — Drake
    https://open.spotify.com/track/2XW4DbS6NddZxRPm5rMCeY
  4. “Diplomatic Immunity” — Drake
    https://open.spotify.com/track/5goGDc74vVREyN8al8CkPh
  5. “No Frauds” — Nicki Minaj, Drake, Lil Wayne
    https://open.spotify.com/track/7KcGEssn7BnJdTgildK5y0
  6. “ICY GRL” — Saweetie
    https://open.spotify.com/track/4Zkjhf26f6Ai7qSMjt1Yue
  7. “Never Be the Same” — Camila Cabello
    https://open.spotify.com/track/4eWQlBRaTjPPUlzacqEeoQ
  8. “All These Years” — Camila Cabello
    https://open.spotify.com/track/4XLu3tTSZiPFVC9mmuR6Zp
  9. “Alone” — Russ
    https://open.spotify.com/track/3p0Y1C5jhaqyKW7d9oskXA
  10. “Hey” — Fais featuring Afrojack
    https://open.spotify.com/track/6KZmDucZFfvxGJkrHInbix

Enjoy!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, wickeddchildd.com

Monday Music Update! (Week of 12/4/17)

Congrats, guys. We’ve made it to the last week of classes. Good luck with finals after this week! Enjoy this week’s vibes on 4E’s latest playlist:

  1. WinSiempre – Boge and a Backpack – Kaji Gray (prod. WinSiempre)
    https://soundcloud.com/smi53/boge-and-a-backpack-kaji-gray-prod-winsiempre
  2. Rajitheone – #WhiteGirlVoice
    https://open.spotify.com/track/4TkGhMYlkcbxCMj3pny9mU
  3. 6LACK – Learn Ya
    https://open.spotify.com/track/2V8OJ8i3WBh4Los9wG6OKQ
  4. Roy Woods – Say Less
    https://open.spotify.com/track/5sOW5hiIFFjtS51KMlWwt1
  5. slenderbodies – amnesia
    https://open.spotify.com/track/0JWhOjXZvKRtD6n1H6CRVV
  6. blackbear – gucci linen (feat. 2 Chainz)
    https://open.spotify.com/track/02DGz57a3TK3jNiibbnxaK
  7. blackbear – g2g ttyl (feat. THEY.)
    https://open.spotify.com/track/5peXF38os4UT1lsfdoKMt5
  8. Mansionz – nobody knows – Soren Bryce
    https://open.spotify.com/track/79Ho3Dq9Go7gS30tMJROzT
  9. Mike Stud – Lost Me
    https://open.spotify.com/track/5LG63eRhfNFYyCGU1QZXCo
  10. D-Why – One Day
    https://open.spotify.com/track/6lRfpMTNgkOnxkVKhnGd4R

Enjoy your last week!

Photos/Gifs/Music: soundcloud.com, spotify.com, giphy.com

Monday Music Update! (Week of 11/27/17)

Short and sweet. Just like the past break. Enjoy this week’s 4E Monday Music Update!

  1. Flume – Free (Luude x Creepa Flip Remix)
    https://soundcloud.com/luude-2-0/flume-free-luude-x-creepa-flip
  2. RL Grime – Reims (Enschway & Luude Flip Remix)
    https://soundcloud.com/luude-2-0/rl-grime-reims-enschway-luude-flip
  3. MGMT – Kids (Aux Paris Remix)
    https://soundcloud.com/auxparis/kids
  4. Loud Luxury feat. Brandy – Body
    https://soundcloud.com/loudluxury/loud-luxury-feat-brando-body
  5. NGHTMRE & SLANDER – GUD VIBRATIONS
    https://soundcloud.com/nghtmre/nghtmre-slander-gud-vibrations

Knock those finals dead. Good luck, everyone!

Photos/Gifs/Music: soundcloud.com, giphy.com

15 People Sexier Than Blake Shelton

If you haven’t heard, Blake Shelton was recently named the Sexiest Man Alive. We here at 4E are unsure if it’s just us, or if everyone else also has trouble seeing what People Magazine and Gwen Stefani see (look below for reference).

To try and get some perspective on this confusing choice, here’s a list of 15 people we think are sexier than Blake Shelton:

  1. The pizza in the above gif
  2. Amanda Bynes
  3. The Wisey’s Rat
  4. Jack the Bulldog
  5. Bill Clinton
  6. Todd Olson
  7. Josh Peck (pre-not inviting Drake Bell to his wedding)
  8. Patrick Ewing
  9. Amanda Bynes in “She’s the Man”
  10. The Dad from “Drake and Josh”
  11. Jack the Bulldog on a skateboard
  12. Kim Kim (we still miss you on the panini press)
  13. John DeGioia
  14. Todd Olson in full convocation garb
  15. Bradley Cooper

We at 4E simply cannot fathom how none of these fine options preceded Blake Shelton. People Magazine, we urge you to take into account this definitive list before choosing your ~Sexiest Man Alive~ next year.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, tvguide.com

Monday Music Update! (Week of 11/13/17)

We are all so ready to go home. Eat turkey. Catch up on sleep. Finally binge-watch Stranger Things 2. But until then, enjoy the latest 4E-approved tunes!

  1. 070 Shake – Honey
    https://open.spotify.com/track/0PoMoPqIJxe6H0rDMnpGP8
  2. Roy Woods – Instinct (ft. MadeinTYO)
    https://open.spotify.com/track/49VzL5oBsUICN7U34T98b9
  3. Big Sean – No More Interviews
    https://open.spotify.com/track/3IRloeDfPgi7bH5OwXfwkN
  4. Pham – Movements (ft. Yung Fusion)
    https://soundcloud.com/xxx/pham-movements-ft-yung-fusion 
  5. Kygo – Nothing Left ft. Will Heard (Trinix Remix)
    https://soundcloud.com/stayseemusic/kygo-nothing-left-ft-will-heard-trinix-remix
  6. Kygo – This Town
    https://open.spotify.com/track/4aSfgWmRa9KsISD4Jmx7QB
  7. Shura – Touch
    https://soundcloud.com/shura/shura-touch
  8. Louis The Child – Phone Died (ft. Blaise Railey)
    https://soundcloud.com/louisthechild/phonedied
  9. Darci – Two Up
    https://soundcloud.com/darksidedarci/darci-two-up
  10. Childish Gambino – Terrified (Zikomo Remix)
    https://soundcloud.com/zikomo/childish-gambino-terrified-zikomo-remix

Thanks for reading! Time to get listening!

Photos/Gifs/Music: soundcloud.com, spotify.com, giphy.com

Monday Music Update! (Week of 11/6/17)

Midterms should be over. So relax and listen to some music!

Here is 4E’s latest ~Music Monday~ playlist to help you de-stress:

  1. Brent Faiyaz – Gang Over Luv
    https://soundcloud.com/brentfaiyaz/gang-over-luv?in=brentfaiyaz/sets/sonder-son
  2. Brent Faiyaz – First World Problemz / Nobody Carez
    https://soundcloud.com/brentfaiyaz/first-world-problemz-nobody
  3. Russ – Cherry Hill
    https://open.spotify.com/track/6qcuRcbz8DCLG6nG4or8Uo
  4. PARTYNEXTDOOR – Wus Good/Curious (NVR Remix)
    https://soundcloud.com/therealdonnyvega/party-next-door-wus-good
  5. LLD – All That Matters (LiveMix)
    https://soundcloud.com/livelikedavis/livelikedavis-all-that-matters
  6. The Sun King – I Wrote This Song For An Ex (ft. Abbn0rmal)
    https://soundcloud.com/the-sun-king-ny/i-wrote-this-song-for-an-ex-remix-ft-abbn0rmal
  7. Roy Woods – What Are You On?
    https://open.spotify.com/track/4467C0jkad7vMVD8kOhFxW
  8. dsvn – Don’t Choose
    https://open.spotify.com/track/6OVDdIF1LyY36sXL5xGCSR
  9. H.E.R – Jungle
    https://open.spotify.com/track/3C23UChONVCL0A3U9uWO5u
  10. Russ – Losin’ Control (Silver Waves Remix)
    https://soundcloud.com/silverwaves/losin-control-remix-1

Photos/Gifs/Music: soundcloud.com, spotify.com, giphy.com

Bill Clinton: A True Hoya

As you may have heard, Georgetown’s very own prodigal son is returning home to the Hilltop this week. And as cynical as we usually are here at 4E, this is actually a pretty cool thing. After all, since the events of the past year have forced us to acknowledge that Eric Trump, Steve Bannon, and Paul Manafort are technically alumni, we need to celebrate the Hoyas who didn’t collude with Russia have made a positive impact in the world now more than ever.

But as you prepare to camp outside Gaston to hear his speech, many of you who were born in the late-90s may be asking yourselves, “Who is Bill Clinton?” We know from eavesdropping on Blue and Gray tours that he certainly attended Georgetown, but is he really a Hoya? If he were a student today, would he regularly attend Jersey Night? Would he mourn the loss of Quick Pita? Would he post in the meme group? And more importantly, would his memes be dank?  To try to answer some of these pressing questions, we here at 4E briefly skimmed carefully read and took diligent notes on Bill Clinton’s autobiography, My Life, and came to the following conclusion:

Bill Clinton is a true Hoya.

Take a look at our reasoning below:

1. He Loves Wisey’s

The Quote: “At Wisemiller’s Deli, just across Thirty-sixth Street from the Walsh building where I had most of my classes, I got coffee and two donuts for twenty cents every morning

Our Analysis: Like all good Hoyas, Bill Clinton both loves Wisey’s and eats there way too much. He definitely would have voted for the Hot Chick/Chicken Madness ticket back in the infamous GUSA election of 2016, and is surely a strong supporter of our unofficial school mascot, The Wisey’s Rat™. So the next time you feel guilty about eating Wisey’s cookies for breakfast as you walk in 15 minutes late to your class on the fourth floor of Walsh because the elevator was taking forever, just remember that you will probably grow up to be the President of the United States.

When you call your order in and the wait is only 10 minutes

2. He Never Leaves Campus

The Quote:In my first two years, I rarely ventured beyond the confines of the University and its immediate surroundings”

Our Analysis: For a true Hoya, Burleith is as exotic as it gets. Yes, just like a vast majority of Hoyas, Bill Clinton fell victim to the Georgetown Bubble. And yes, we know D.C. is a world-class city full of renowned food, art, and culture, but the whole Metro system is confusing and not a lot of places take GoCard. True Hoyas stick to complaining about the lack of options at Leo’s and only venture beyond M street once a semester for Instagram-related purposes. Also “immediate surroundings” is definitely code for Chi Di. We’ll see you there on Thursday, Bill. Hopefully you have a good ID though, they’ve been pretty tough this year.

When someone suggests you should “explore D.C. more”

3. He Embraces Our “Sleep When You’re Dead” Culture

The Quote: “My most memorable class sophomore year was Professor Walter Giles’s U.S. Constitution and Government… By the time I got to his class I had embraced my lifelong affinity for sleep deprivation and had developed the sometimes embarrassing habit of falling asleep for five or ten minutes of class”

Our Analysis: Same, Bill Clinton. Same. Does it even qualify as a Georgetown class if more than half its students are awake at any given time? Whether it’s in a lecture hall, on Healy Lawn, or in the middle of a professor’s office hours (it happened once), falling asleep at inappropriate times is what we Hoyas do best. Honestly, Bill Clinton, props for doing this well in an era before you could try to stay awake by scrolling through memes on Facebook while the professor thinks you’re taking notes. Side note to any of my professors who accidentally clicked on this article: I love your class! Keep up the good work!

When the professor makes eye contact during the lecture and you have to act like you’re deep in thought over whatever they just said

4. He Has a Capitol Hill Internship

The Quote: On interning for Arkansas Senator William Fulbright, “It was easy to fit the job into my daily schedule, partly because in junior year only five courses were required instead of six, partly because some classes started as early as 7 a.m.”

Our Analysis: If you hadn’t already guessed, Bill Clinton was in the SFS. This quote confirms it. I can practically hear this quote telling me he’s a STIA major and that he has to go study for MAP. Even today, when Bill Clinton meets new people, I guarantee you that he finds some way to mention the SFS. This guy is a Hoya.

When it’s been five minutes and no one has asked about your foreign service background yet

5. He Loves The Tombs

The Quote:My favorite haunts in Georgetown were the Tombs, a beer hall in a cellar beneath the 1789 restaurant, where most of the students went for beer and burgers

Our Analysis: Bill Clinton’s Tombs Night was definitely lit. But not too lit, like where you had to call GERMS and the whole night was ruined. It was just the right level of lit, like where everybody danced to “In Da Club” by 50 Cent when the clock hit midnight, and then Bill Clinton got a great Instagram pic of his forehead being stamped by the Tombs bouncer. Every Hoya since John Carrol has made some of their greatest memories at the Tombs. Need we say more?

Actual photo of Bill Clinton getting his forehead stamped on his Tombs Night. On an unrelated note, yes, I am available for freelance photoshop jobs. Serious inquiries only.

So there you have it: Bill Clinton is a Georgetown Hoya. Our diligent research has definitively proved it. We hope you all have fun accidentally falling asleep learning a lot at his speech on Monday- and huge props to the team over at #GUPolitics for making this happen! No disrespect to the time you got Martin O’Malley to play his guitar in McShain Lounge, but this is definitely much cooler than that.

Sources: My Life by Bill Clinton, Tombs.com, Facebook.com, giphy.com, Georgetowndc.com, georgetown.edu