How to Throw the Perfect Inauguration Day Party

January 20th 2017 is an important date for two reasons. First, it marks the inauguration of our nation’s 45th President and ushers in a new and unprecedented era in American history. Secondly, and much more importantly, it’s an official Georgetown University holiday, which means that we all get to be MSB students for a day and share in the luxurious experience of having no Friday classes! So if you’re searching for a fun way to spend your day off, look no further: we here at 4E have got you covered with some tips and tricks for the perfect Inauguration Day party.

Find the perfect spot to host

When you’re searching for the right place to throw your Inauguration Day bash, we recommend you choose a different location from wherever you hosted your Election Night party a few months ago- after all, nothing ruins a good party faster than terrifying flashbacks! Your best bet in terms of location is definitely the Village A rooftop. While you can’t really see the Capitol building from the roof, you can see the Washington Monument, which we all know provides the perfect patriotic background for that inevitable Inauguration Day Instagram, which you’ll probably post with an original, hilarious caption like #MakeAmericaLITagain

Invite some VIPs

To quote our next President, your party can’t be full of “losers and haters,” so when it comes to making your guest list, be sure to go the extra mile. Actually, you don’t even have to go a whole mile- just walk the few blocks to John Kerry’s house and invite him to your awesome party. He obviously can’t RSVP to your Facebook event for security reasons, so your safest bet is definitely to just go knock on his door and ask him face to face. His secret service agents totally won’t mind as long as you remember to extend the invitation to them as well. In the meantime, wander around campus and you’ll probably run into frequent Dahlgren Chapel-attendee, Joe Biden, or Georgetown’s favorite son and America’s favorite almost-first-husband, Bill Clinton. And after this election cycle, these guys are definitely ready to kick back and party, so be sure to toss an invite their way.

Make a playlist

No Inauguration Day party would be complete without the musical stylings of Trump’s new best friend, Kanye West. After the craziness known as the 2016 election, I don’t think any of us would even be surprised at this point if Kanye somehow ended up with a Cabinet position. In fact, we’re calling it now: we think a Trump/West 2020 ticket is in our future (in four years, remember you heard it here at 4E first!). And if Kanye’s ascent into the political arena is imminent, we must enjoy his musical genius while we still can. So at your party, be sure to “Runaway” from your fears about the next four years, ignore all those fake news stories and focus on the “Facts (Charlie Heat Version)” and remember that we can still be “Stronger” together even though Donald Trump will soon have all that “POWER” to “Run This Town.”

Choose beverages wisely

If you’re still feeling patriotic and want to make a political statement at your party, follow President Obama’s lead by enacting your own symbolic sanctions against Russia in the most college-way possible: boycotting Russian-brand vodka. In terms of what you can realistically afford, this basically means no Russian Standard and no Stolichnaya. Don’t worry, Smirnoff doesn’t count. If you’re looking for an alternative, we here at 4E recommend everyone’s favorite delicious (and American-made!) vodka, Burnett’s. For more information on this flavored poison refreshing beverage, check out some of our diligent research here.

There you have it: a few simple tips and tricks to make your Inauguration Day one to remember. And finally before we go, if you’re reading this, Mr. Trump (and based on your bizarre social media habits, there’s sadly good chance that you actually are), we wish you luck. Despite our differences, we hope that you prove us wrong and use these next four years to help lead our country in the right direction. But in the meantime, we here at 4E will continue to contribute to the “crooked media” by low key roasting you on a regular basis. Here’s to the next four years, neighbor.

Gifs: giphy.com, teepublic.com

President-Elect Donald Trump’s Cabinet Picks Celebrity Apprentice Version

trump cabinetIt has been a little over a month since our nation elected our 45th president, and slowly but surely, our country is accepting the results. President-elect Trump has just about finalized his Cabinet, leaving many Americans equally disillusioned. With that being said, I am not here to comment on politics or on the choices our President-Elect has made, but rather, to offer my opinions on who he should have appointed to Cabinet positions from his wildly successful television series, The Celebrity Apprentice. I whole-heartedly believe these “celebrities” could do the job better than anyone our future president could nominate.

Education Secretary: Lil Jon

Who could be a better Education Secretary than Lil Jon? With a high school education under his belt and a grasp on the English language so strong he was able to come up with the party-shattering lyrics:

“Fire up that loud
Another round of shots

Turn down for what?” (repeat 5x)

This man clearly knows what a good education is all about. All jokes aside, he could do wonders for schools’ fine arts programs.

Secretary of Health and Human Services: Lisa Rinna

The clear pick of all former cast mates is Lisa Rinna. This woman knows what she is talking about in regards to surgeries. She is an admitted fan of Botox and can talk about lip injections more knowledgeably than a plastic surgeon.

Secretary of Transportation: Khloe Kardashian

I would like to start off by saying the Kardashians are practically America’s royalty, so obviously one of them needs to be in our government. Khloé should be a go-to pick for Trump, considering she knows a thing or two about expensive cars and private jets.

Secretary of Treasury: Teresa Giudice

Another no-brainer: why wouldn’t we want Teresa Giudice in charge of the Treasury? She went to jail and learned her lesson about fraud and tax evasion, so who better than to manage our nation’s wealth? If anyone knows anything about the importance of healthy finances, it is this woman.

Secretary of Defense: Piers Morgan

Have we all seen Piers Morgan’s Twitter attacks on Chrissy Teigen? I mean honestly I would not want to oppose this guy. All it will take is 140 characters for him to bring down Putin.

Administrator of Environmental Protection Agency: Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi

Similar to Teresa Giudice, I think Snooki would be an excellent addition to our nation’s Cabinet considering she has learned from experience. After PETA put Snooki on blast for dyeing her dog purple, I truly believe she is a reformed woman and would do our nation well by serving as Administrator of Environmental Protection Agency.

Administrator of Small Business Administration: Stephen Baldwin

As the not as famous Baldwin brother, Stephen knows what it is like to deal with “less.” Less fame, less fortune, less popularity. Therefore, who would be better-equipped than to deal with small businesses, who, let’s face it, cannot compare to corporations like Microsoft and Apple, than Stephen Baldwin?

Ambassador to the United Nations: Sharon Osbourne

The clear pick is Sharon Osbourne. She has a British accent, need I say more?

So who will be President-Elect Trump’s Secretary of State appointment? Your guess is as good as mine, but if we’re going by The Celebrity Apprentice cast, my vote would be for Kevin Jonas because, come on, who wouldn’t love a Jonas in the spotlight again?

Gifs: giphy.com

4E’s Guide to Spotting a Freshman

freshmanFreshman year is described as a “time of transition.” It is almost like a second awkward stage since you have to adjust to a completely different lifestyle (except hopefully you’re rocking a better haircut this time around). Perhaps the biggest “no-no” of being a freshman is looking like a freshman. Here are five obvious ways to spotting a freshman.

1. Still Reps Their High School Gear

Yes, your school might have provided you with endless Nike and Under Armor apparel, but perhaps this is best left at home so that you can pledge your allegiance to your new school: Georgetown University. On the other hand…

2. Wears Head to Toe Georgetown Clothing

We get it, you go here!!!! We know how hard you worked to get here and understandably, this comes with quite a bit of school pride. But maybe just pick the Georgetown sweatshirt and don’t go for the full on HoyaSaxa sweatsuit (including Georgetown hat and socks).

3. Wears a Lanyard with a Key Around Their Neck

Much like an ugly haircut during your awkward stage, this is simply a phase every freshman goes through. Learn from it and move on is all that I can say.

4. Actually Dresses Up for Class

No, this is not the Oscars, nor is it another Kardashian wedding. This is class (i.e. a time to catch up on sleep learn). You do not need to wear the finest clothing in your wardrobe. Please take note that athleisure is a trend people!

5. Only Travel in Packs

Have you ever seen a freshman by himself/herself? Probably not. There is safety in numbers and freshmen simply have not learned the concept of independence. We get it! You’re new here and don’t want to look stupid alone. We promise no one is judging what you’re doing; we’re all too busy worrying about whether or not Kim Kardashian will ever return to social media or if Brad Pitt will get more than a monthly visit with the kids.

If you spot a student with one (or all) of these attributes, you can be certain they are a freshman. But hey, go easy on freshmen: you either are living it or have lived through it. The same way you wouldn’t want 4E to investigate your middle school years, freshmen don’t want to be ostracized by their older, significantly cooler peers.

Gifs: giphy.com

4E’s Guide to Freshman Networking

Freshman Networking 101

So it’s August before your freshman year of college and you’re wondering: “How am I going to make friends?” To be honest, everyone here is in the same boat of knowing practically no one once they arrive on campus (unless you are from Delbarton, because half of Georgetown males graduated from there) so there is no need to be nervous. However, to alleviate your worries, here are five sure fire questions to get the conversation started.

1) Where are you from?
Not surprisingly, this is an excellent follow up question to “What’s your name?” For many, this is their first time living in a place where everyone did not grow up in the same town, so this is a great conversation starter. Pro tip: Try not to roll your eyes when someone says they are from Jersey (there is a reason 95% of the school is from there #jerseypride!!!!).

2) Is your name Sam/Sarah?
Similar to Jersey, it seems like everyone here is either named Sam or Sarah. If you see someone who looks like a potential new BFF, confidently stride over to them and ask “Is your name Sam?” (if he is a boy) or “Sarah?” (if she is a girl). The odds are in your favor that they will say, “Yes! How did you know?” Even if the answer is no, at least you are talking!

3) Did you go to Delbarton?
This is a grade A question to ask a boy. No one loves Delbarton as much as a Delbarton kid and no one loves to rip on Delbarton as much as a student from literally any other school. If they are from Delbarton, congrats! You have now entered a one way convo about how awesome Delbarton is. If not, you can now bond with someone over how the vast majority of Georgetown men are graduates of Delbarton.

4) Which family member went here?
Georgetown is BIG on legacy. Not that there is anything wrong with that – why not keep Hoya blood in the family? I would venture to say 80% of the kids I met my first week of freshman year mentioned a family member graduating from here within the first few minutes of conversation. Needless to say, this is a safe question to ask and you should look forward to being regaled with stories someone’s uncle shared about Georgetown in the ’80s.

5) What clubs do you want to join?
You have probably heard that Georgetown is big on involvement in student organizations. (I know it was mentioned on both of my tours and at least 25 times during GAAP weekend.) Eager freshmen will be able to list off at least 13 clubs they want to join while the rest of us will probably go with the tried and true “The Corp.” Try and master the phrase: “Oh, you are interested in joining The Corp too?” before stepping foot on campus for your freshman fall semester.

So there ya have it! Five questions a step above small talk that will not fail you when you try to get a conversation going with the 300th person you have met that day! As you can tell, my #Jerseypride might be coming out a little bit.

Images: giphy.com

8 Steps to Aggressively Embrace the Fall Season

8 Steps to Fall

As we find ourselves in the midst of fall, it’s extremely hard to contain the excitement. Show everyone you love the fall season by following these 8 easy steps! Because 4E freaking loves the fall.

1. Gather leaves

No one will believe you love fall unless you show them! Grab some leaves from the ground, shove them in your backpack, and sprinkle them around your classrooms and residential halls to spread the fall love.

2. Chug a pumpkin spice latte and carry another around everywhere

Fall is never complete without letting everyone know you are obsessed with a mediocre drink! Also, take a pro tip from us: spill a little of your pumpkin spice latte on your shirt so people will ask about it! When they do, just remember to flash a big smile and say “Haha! Oh, it must be my pumpkin spice latte! It’s gotta be fall, AM I RIGHT?!” They’ll love it!

3. Clutter your every source of social media with pumpkin patch pictures

tumblr_inline_ne6rx2hAi11qzj4kc Instagram? Facebook? A text to your grandma? All of the above! And don’t forget to print a ton and hand them out to your friends so they know you LOVE pumpkins.

4. Bombard your refrigerator with apple cider

You’re not super into fall season if you don’t drink at least 30 gallons of apple cider! I always drink mine in a pumpkin-inspired “I LOVE FALL” mug! It always pulls everything together.

5. Bundle up!

If it’s not a Snuggie, make sure to wear a scarf, sweater, and brown boots EVERY DAY! Even if you get tired of it, make sure to stick to these items until the end of fall!

6. Pick a ton of apples and tell everyone about the experience

 All your buddies should know that you are jazzed about apple picking –  it’s all part of the seasonal festivities!

7. Call it ~autumn~

 Autumn sounds super fancy, so people will definitely be able to tell you appreciate it. You can be just like this girl, who doesn’t care that a leaf has fallen on her face!

8. Sit in a pile of leaves for a couple of hours 

 In my experience, people have approached me with some concerns as to how long I’ve admired the leaves. Don’t worry about these people – they probably prefer summer, or something crazy like that!

The fall season is only a limited amount of time, so aggressively enjoy it while you can!

Images: giphy.com, http://bit.ly/2dBmyGl

Georgetown Day Drinking Hacks

Georgetown Day Drinking Hacks

The time has come for ALL Georgetown students to relax, let loose and celebrate the end of classes. Georgetown Day is almost here and 4E is ready to get you very excited for all of the debauchery.

One who has experienced the ridiculousness of Georgetown Day knows that you will be moving from townhouse to rooftop to lawn to (insert pizza place here) to your bed.  You’ll be on the move and therefore will need a nifty way to carry your libations safely from brunch to party.  4E is here to give you some Georgetown Day drinking hacks!

Hack #1: Go to SNAXA and use the slushie machine to create the perfect portable beverage!  Need a cold drink to cool you off after dancing too much on the Vil A rooftop? Run over to SNAXA and get a slushie, then pour a little bit of your fav alc in it.  I recommend some vodka or rum!

Hack #2: The Corp cups will be your best friend!  Just order your fav coffee drink and add Kahlua or Bailey’s! You’ll feel energized and buzzed.

Hack #3: Einstein’s orange juice. You can’t go wrong with orange juice as your solid chaser or cocktail accoutrement.  Run down to Einstein’s in the morning and grab an orange juice to make the perfect mimo. Take a bagel while you’re at it, because eating something to soak up that andré is essential.

Hack #4: Get a straw for your personal bottle of André. I don’t think I need to explain why this drinking hack is a must. Let’s just say a straw is efficient and you won’t be sloppily getting champagne all over you.

Hack #5: And of course, you can never go wrong with carrying around a personal flask!

Here are just a few of the many approaches one can take when carefully transporting their precious gin & juice. Just remember to drink responsibly!

Gifs: giphy.com 

Holy Horses: A Guide to FoxField’s

Foxfields

While everyone is talking about the joy that is Georgetown Day (THIS FRIDAY), there is another critical event this weekend that we need to cover: FoxField’s! 4E has informed you how to look foxxy for this fabulous event, but this year we are going to provide you with the advice you never knew you needed. Here are some critical tips from a seasoned professional:

1. Pack snacks, water and all the alcohol you could ever want/need. FoxField’s is in the middle of nowhere, so make sure you have everything you could ever need to survive, or else you are going to be dying on the trip back.

2. Pick a meeting space for your group. If you have a plot, you are golden. If not, make sure to choose a place to meet so that you don’t get lost and miss your bus. The Uber from Virginia back to the Hilltop is not a pretty one.

3. Bring some cash money. There are a bunch of vendors and food options at the fields, so make sure to bring some dinero to help you out.

4. Be prepared for all weather. Last year’s rain was H O R R I B L E, especially if you aren’t prepared. Bring some extra clothes or an umbrella to make your experience more bearable.

5. Save your phone battery. There is no service at FoxField’s, which is not good for the type of event it is. Save your Instas and Snaps for later, and enjoy the alcohol horses. Which brings me to my next point…

6. Take a lot of photos. Cause you all dressed up nice & it deserves to be documented.

7. Start slow. This is the day after Georgetown Day, so take that into account. You don’t want to be that person.

8. Power through. You can sleep on the bus. See some horses and live the life of a prep. Sleep is for the weak.

9. Actually eat. A midday reminder to eat could just save your life, and your liver. Forgetting could be your downfall. And, finally and most importantly…

10. DON’T GET LOST, MISS YOUR BUS OR GET ARRESTED. None of those things are fun, and will certainly put a damper on the weekend.

See you, your hats and all the pastels at the races (yes there are actually races).

Photos/Gifs: http://gifrific.com/; squarespace.com; buzzfeed.com; chickensmoothie.com; theodysseyonline.com

Where Should You Spring Break?

Banner - Break QuizHave you ever wondered what exotic location is your spirit location. Well, look no further. In honor of Spring Break (and procrastinating midterms), 4E is asking you to ponder: Where should you ~actually~ go for your break?

Photos: letsgovr.com

 

So You Need A Column Topic?

Are you not quite sure what you want to write your column about yet? Well, you’re in luck! Here are some great column topics to draw inspiration from! (Spring 2016 columnist applications for The Hoya are now available here, and due by 11:59 p.m. on Jan. 12.)

Some General Tips:

  • Write about a topic you’re familiar with. The best columns are those that focus on something about which the writer has genuine curiosity. Just look at Hoya Historian!
  • Make sure your topic is broad enough to span the entire semester, but not so broad that it can become scattered.
  • Be CREATIVE! There are some columns that cover topics such as identity or politics that are always good subjects to write about, but sometimes the great column ideas develop from seemingly simplistic ideas, like this one in the Guide about sandwiches. Try to think of a unique idea or have a different take on a topic we’ve already published.
  • If you have an idea you’re passionate about, run with it and see where it goes. The sky’s the limit!

For Opinion:

Past themes include identity, advice from seniors, history, medicine and technology, comedy and politics. Other column ideas for this semester could include the upcoming presidential election or looking at President Obama’s last year in office. There are also a ton of ways to analyze topics; the column could review issues from a social, political, historical, statistical, educational or cultural point of view.

For Sports:

Past themes include fantasy football, professional soccer, D.C. area professional sports and men’s college basketball. Sports columnists have the opportunity to delve into deeper analyses of team strategy, unpack the rivalries and controversies within the worlds of both professional and collegiate athletics, make predictions on future trades and match ups and comment on the relationship between sports and popular/social culture.

For Guide:

Past themes include music, art, love and dating, studying abroad and the intersection of food and politics. The wide scope of the Guide, which focuses on lifestyle, art, entertainment, music and food, allows for a lot of creative freedom when coming up with column ideas. Other column ideas that will be considered include a creative writing column that features a continuous short story or other creative writing forms. With the online platform, columns that feature weekly music, photography or multimedia will be considered as well.

*Columns in the Guide should aim to tell stories over philosophizing about or analyzing a topic. Stories can be personal, cultural or historical.

For Business and Tech:

Past themes include global economic issues and statistics. Future theme ideas could focus on new technologies, advertising and marketing, developing countries or financial markets. Columns should not focus solely on MSB-related news.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, imgur.com, gifrific.com  

The Seven Standard Snapchats

Snapchat-logo-e1406582518655If you aren’t a fan of Snapchat, reevaluate your life decisions. No other means of communication can get the job done. What job, you may ask? It’s whatever you want it to be. There are hundreds of awesome ways to share your life with other people on Snapchat (should I get paid for saying this?).

Since we at 4E are connoisseurs of all things “snap” (except for SNAPS – we don’t like them), we compiled a list of seven typical Snapchats you might get:

Team Snapchat Snaps

gecko sigh

These are literally the worst. First off, it’s so frustrating when you get a notification thinking someone real snapped you and then you realize you have no friends. Second, they are actually quite weird. Most of the time, its Team Snapchat wishing you a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and Happy Kwanzaa all in one message. To the .0000001% of people that celebrate all three of those, cheers to you. And finally, they always seem to come at the worst timing, like when you’re waiting for someone to snap you back…

Reply Snaps

The dreaded reply snaps. These remind me of those, “IF YOU READ THIS AND DON’T SEND IT TO 10 FRIENDS A LOVED ONE WILL DIE AT MIDNIGHT TOMORROW” things that used to go around on Facebook back in middle school. If you don’t send a reply back to the person doing what they asked you to do, you will be forever shamed. I’ve been trapped into reply nose-picks, reply chugs and reply trust falls.

Bestie Snaps

Nobody besides your best friends can send you ridiculous Snapchats at any time of day. They may be pointless, even foolish (think embarrassing enough to be screen-shotted and used as blackmail), but they sure are entertaining. They always make you laugh and are often inside jokes.

Toilet Snaps

He's Starting Early
He’s Starting Young

There are many appropriate times to send a Snapchat, while on the toilet is not ever usually one of them. I get it, you also poop. It’s funny, because if someone were to open the door accidentally while you were own the throne, you would absolutely flip a s*** because the bathroom is a sacred place. Yet, you’re more than willing to send a snap to a friend of yourself on the toilet? These snaps will never make sense.

Food Porn Snaps

While these are usually in the form of a Snapstory, they are so unnecessary. We all eat, too. I don’t care how many pieces of pumpkin spiced French toast you ate at Farmers Fishers Bakers (queue basic biddies google searching to see if this is a real thing), there is no need for you to remind me how bad Leo’s is by sending me a picture of your food. I’m just a poor, hungry college student trying to survive on ramen and all of the extra food I take when I use a meal swipe at Einstein’s.

Drunken Snaps

You get a snap during the wee hours of the morning from that friend that you’d rather not admit is one of your best friends on Snapchat. Nevertheless, you’re lying in your bed on a lazy Sunday morning afternoon and decide to open it up. It’s a video of them not realizing they were taking a video because they thought they were trying to take a picture. You decide to shoot them a text: “Hey, you good? I’m so hung-over that Leo’s doesn’t sound half bad.”

Play-by-Play Snaps

blackout scheduled schumer

It must be a big deal when (insert name) goes out on the weekends because they send you a snaps updating you on their location, activity and amount of drinks consumed eleven times before you can say “GERMS”. Just remember, Snapchat, like everything else, should only be used in moderation.

Happy Snapping!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, tumblr.com