What to Do After Getting Rejected from Piano Bar

After everyone’s favorite grimy bar got raided a few too many times and decided to be a whole lot pickier about who they let in, a lot of underage Georgetown students are left wondering – what next? Where else can I spend my Wednesday nights partying? Is there another spot I can flock to on a typical dead Georgetown Friday night? While no one has come up with a perfect solution yet, here are 4E’s 7 alternatives to Piano Bar.

  1. If you’re still looking to go out and have a good time, try Chi Di! What’s one rejection when you can have two in one night? Have you gotten a little too comfortable with your fake? Definitely give it a go despite multiple texts reporting cops surrounding the club.
  2. A rejection from Chi Di not enough to kill your party mood? The next move is a random club in downtown DC. You’re guaranteed to meet people almost twice your age, and if you wait in line long enough, you might even get to realize that Ultra is not nearly as large as they make it out to be. 
  3. However, if you’re a homebody and trying to stay near campus, why not try CVS on Wisconsin? I’m not kidding; this place is a goldmine. They have everything from snacks, to makeup, to Donald Trump shot glasses!
  4. Why not make it an early night at Epi? Sometimes Epi is more lit than the party (or in this case, Piano) itself. You’re guaranteed to see at least one person you know (and you know you wanted that quesadilla more than you wanted to be sweating it out on the dirty dance floor of Piano anyway).
  5. If you’re the typical Georgetown student who likes to talk about how much work they have, but never actually does it, why not spend the extra time studying? I hear (but don’t know from personal experience) Lau is open 24 hours a day. You can probably get some quality work done, considering your of age peers will be enjoying the bar you couldn’t get into. 
  6. Go to bed. Literally every single time I ask someone how they’re doing, they say tired. Instead of taking laps around Piano and waiting for the bartender to notice you until 2 AM, why not get some quality sleep in? Maybe the next day you won’t have to ban your roommate from drying her hair so that you can nap (sorry, Chiara!). 
  7. Stay in! Why risk it? It’s much safer to be caught partying by your RA than by the police. Grab some friends and have a good old sleepover filled with rounds of “Never Have I Ever” and “Truth or Dare.” I promise you’ll learn more about them that way than shouting over Piano’s sometimes cringey, sometimes decent music. These are just a few ideas for what you can do after being rejected from Piano, but feel free to explore other alternatives. Whatever you decide, 4E hopes you stay safe out there in this newly dangerous Georgetown bubble.

Gifs: giphy.com

The 4E Guide To Friendsgiving

Banner - FriendsThanksgiving is coming up, which means that every foodie’s favorite holiday is almost here! In the great (slightly reworded) saying of Regina George “Thanksgiving is the one day of the year when every foodie can eat anything they want and nobody can judge them for it.” So, if Thanksgiving is the best day of the year, Friendsgiving is the pregame. We at 4E are going to tell you how to have the best one yet:

  1. Wear elastic pants.

Friendsgiving is practice for Thanksgiving. Eat as much as you want and practice not getting a food coma! Bonus points if they’re Thanksgiving themed ones!

2. Have EVERYONE bring something.

If you’ve been the dorm mom this semester (if you don’t think there’s a dorm mom it’s definitely you), you’ve probably been cooking quite frequently. Take a break and make everyone else bring the food! Even if it’s the worst food you’ve ever had, at least it’s practice for when Aunt Sally makes the worst pumpkin pie you’ve ever had!

3. Ask the tough questions.

Friendsgiving is great practice for explaining everything that you never wanted your relatives to know! Everything is fair game! Why not practice escaping with your friends?

4. Find something to be thankful for.

A heartfelt thank you that makes everyone at your table shed tears is the best kind of brownie points for mom and dad. Jack, John Carroll, that C on your IR midterm, just pick something beautiful!

Have a happy Friendsgiving and an even better Thanksgiving next week. However your Thanksgiving is, remember to make it classy!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, partycity.com

4E’s Guide to Freshman Networking

Freshman Networking 101

So it’s August before your freshman year of college and you’re wondering: “How am I going to make friends?” To be honest, everyone here is in the same boat of knowing practically no one once they arrive on campus (unless you are from Delbarton, because half of Georgetown males graduated from there) so there is no need to be nervous. However, to alleviate your worries, here are five sure fire questions to get the conversation started.

1) Where are you from?
Not surprisingly, this is an excellent follow up question to “What’s your name?” For many, this is their first time living in a place where everyone did not grow up in the same town, so this is a great conversation starter. Pro tip: Try not to roll your eyes when someone says they are from Jersey (there is a reason 95% of the school is from there #jerseypride!!!!).

2) Is your name Sam/Sarah?
Similar to Jersey, it seems like everyone here is either named Sam or Sarah. If you see someone who looks like a potential new BFF, confidently stride over to them and ask “Is your name Sam?” (if he is a boy) or “Sarah?” (if she is a girl). The odds are in your favor that they will say, “Yes! How did you know?” Even if the answer is no, at least you are talking!

3) Did you go to Delbarton?
This is a grade A question to ask a boy. No one loves Delbarton as much as a Delbarton kid and no one loves to rip on Delbarton as much as a student from literally any other school. If they are from Delbarton, congrats! You have now entered a one way convo about how awesome Delbarton is. If not, you can now bond with someone over how the vast majority of Georgetown men are graduates of Delbarton.

4) Which family member went here?
Georgetown is BIG on legacy. Not that there is anything wrong with that – why not keep Hoya blood in the family? I would venture to say 80% of the kids I met my first week of freshman year mentioned a family member graduating from here within the first few minutes of conversation. Needless to say, this is a safe question to ask and you should look forward to being regaled with stories someone’s uncle shared about Georgetown in the ’80s.

5) What clubs do you want to join?
You have probably heard that Georgetown is big on involvement in student organizations. (I know it was mentioned on both of my tours and at least 25 times during GAAP weekend.) Eager freshmen will be able to list off at least 13 clubs they want to join while the rest of us will probably go with the tried and true “The Corp.” Try and master the phrase: “Oh, you are interested in joining The Corp too?” before stepping foot on campus for your freshman fall semester.

So there ya have it! Five questions a step above small talk that will not fail you when you try to get a conversation going with the 300th person you have met that day! As you can tell, my #Jerseypride might be coming out a little bit.

Images: giphy.com

Your Best Friends at Georgetown

Banner - FriendsWe’ve all heard of the “Georgetown Stereotype.” I’m not so sure there’s only one. I present to you some of the many characters of Georgetown:

The SWUG (Senior Washed-Up Girl) In Training:
No stranger to The Tombs, she can recite the nightly specials by heart. Does she even know that the 99 Days Club is only for seniors? Evidently not. While apathetic to dressing up and personal hygiene, she’s taken up a new interest in wine tasting (which she does on her Village A couch). This girl reminds us that you don’t have to be a senior to be a SWUG.

 

The Girl Who’s Never NSOver It:
A double legacy, Jane Hoya eats, sleeps, and breaths Georgetown. Don’t be surprised to see a “1789” tattoo on her side. When you go to her pregame, expect to play icebreaker drinking games ~but only if you’re over 21 and in a building which permits alcohol consumption~. She’ll surely facilitate healthy dialogue, reminding you that not all Hoyas drink, and that those who do, do so responsibly. If you get lucky, she’ll even show you how she NSOs.

 

The Startup Guru:
After securing a modest 50k from family and friends, he dropped out of Georgetown to pursue his startup. He swears he’s going to be a billionaire by 25 and land a spot on Forbes’ “30 Under 30.” What does his startup do? No one really knows. He’ll probably be back next semester.
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The MSBro:
President of SigEp, working in finance, he’ll say he didn’t even buy the textbook and then skew the class curve by getting a 100. This guy must secretly hit up Lau when no one’s around. But you just saw him at Chi-Di last night, and at Tombs the night before. Work hard play hard, right?

 

The Facebook Activist:
Having watched “Veducated” on Netflix, she’s a dedicated vegan of two weeks and determined to spread awareness about her cause. Apparently sharing socially-oriented articles constitutes real activism these days. She’ll send you multiple invites to local protests, which she probably doesn’t attend. This obsession will last for a month until she watches “Blackfish” and becomes determined to save Seaworld’s marine mammals from her MacBook Air.

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The Pre-President:
He introduces himself as future “President of the United States” as he aggressively shakes your hand with a forced wide smile. When he enters a room, he nods and points into the distance, acknowledging his many friends, and then waves in the opposite direction. Sometimes you wonder if he is even waving at anyone or just wants to keep up appearances.

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The (Practically) Engaged Couple:
Liz and Ben have been dating ever since they met the during the first day of their pre-orientation program. Still going strong, they’ve reserved a spot for their wedding at Dahlgren Chapel (because you HAVE to do so years in advance). Last week, they posted the cutest couple photos at the Cherry Blossoms and hold hands whenever they walk around campus. They are going to be together forever and ever, and ever, and ev… wait. Ben just DFMOed with Sarah at ChiDi when Liz was at an internship interview in New York? Yeah, I take back what I said. Oh well. #Younglove

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, dailymotion.com, bestdelegate.com

 

Winter Break Life Lessons: the 8 Things You Discover

Banner - Winter Break

Winter break is an interesting time. In the middle of the school year, it’s a weird lapse between the fall and spring semesters, just a few weeks full of extravagant (or monotonous) family holidays, trips to visit relatives and indulgence.

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What other time during the year do we have such an opportune chance to reflect on ourselves, our lives, and the relatively-(but-only-for-a-short-while)-distant bubble that is Georgetown? The answer is not summer break because the expanse of time is too long, too lacking of holiday festivity, and too routine. Here are the gems that winter break affords us, mainly:

  1. The Joy of Snacking. You never quite remember just how valuable a stocked fridge and cupboard full of cereal and Cheez-Its is to your wellbeing until you’re home in your childhood bed with nothing on your agenda except a trip to the kitchen.giphy
  2. Netflix. In particular: F.R.I.E.N.D.S. You can watch a whole season in one day. Can you watch the whole series in one break? While we make no speculation as to whether or not this timeless spectacle can grow old, we will admit that break teaches us that those episodes that are full of flashbacks are cop-outs. Since we saw that scene yesterday, it’s not worth reflecting on when Ross could have a new date or Phoebe could be making some weird family-related discovery. 
  3. The Time-Capsule Phenomena. Nothing. Ever. Changes. Can you believe that your town looks the same, your dog sits in the same spot on the rug and your mom has the same routine of game-show watching after dinner each night? While you’ve been busy conquering Brown House and concocting new Leo’s dinner creations the world has continued to spin and life has continued to go on as you know it outside of the front gates. 
  4. Reading for Pleasure. This one goes well with the unfathomable idea that you have this strange amount of time where you don’t remember the date, you have almost forgotten what it is like to live out of a planner and the alarm clark has been untouched. Reading for pleasure: dictated by your own curiosity and not listed on a class syllabus, who knew?
  5. How Great It Is to Do Nothing When It Is Only Temporary.giphy-1
  6. How Unreal (Actually) College Is. Think about it, your friends are your next door neighbors if they’re not your roommates or a short walk across campus to Henle away. Yet over break they’ve reverted to their second lives all over the world, in different time zones.
  7. How Much You Missed and Didn’t Miss Your High School Job. Day 1: *Wow this is so great. I remember that customer, so nice. I’ve missed this.* […] Day 3: *If only everyone could look away while I subtly rested my head on this cash register for the next hour…
  8. The Value of Your Dog. Okay, so this one you never quite forget, but man is it great to have a furry friend to greet you: it’s something that makes leaving the house difficult. Something to pet, and something to talk like a baby too: good times. Jack-My-Happy-Dog

 

Photos/gifs: giphy.com, cutestpaw.com, theodysseyonline.com

 

The Seven Standard Snapchats

Snapchat-logo-e1406582518655If you aren’t a fan of Snapchat, reevaluate your life decisions. No other means of communication can get the job done. What job, you may ask? It’s whatever you want it to be. There are hundreds of awesome ways to share your life with other people on Snapchat (should I get paid for saying this?).

Since we at 4E are connoisseurs of all things “snap” (except for SNAPS – we don’t like them), we compiled a list of seven typical Snapchats you might get:

Team Snapchat Snaps

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These are literally the worst. First off, it’s so frustrating when you get a notification thinking someone real snapped you and then you realize you have no friends. Second, they are actually quite weird. Most of the time, its Team Snapchat wishing you a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and Happy Kwanzaa all in one message. To the .0000001% of people that celebrate all three of those, cheers to you. And finally, they always seem to come at the worst timing, like when you’re waiting for someone to snap you back…

Reply Snaps

The dreaded reply snaps. These remind me of those, “IF YOU READ THIS AND DON’T SEND IT TO 10 FRIENDS A LOVED ONE WILL DIE AT MIDNIGHT TOMORROW” things that used to go around on Facebook back in middle school. If you don’t send a reply back to the person doing what they asked you to do, you will be forever shamed. I’ve been trapped into reply nose-picks, reply chugs and reply trust falls.

Bestie Snaps

Nobody besides your best friends can send you ridiculous Snapchats at any time of day. They may be pointless, even foolish (think embarrassing enough to be screen-shotted and used as blackmail), but they sure are entertaining. They always make you laugh and are often inside jokes.

Toilet Snaps

He's Starting Early
He’s Starting Young

There are many appropriate times to send a Snapchat, while on the toilet is not ever usually one of them. I get it, you also poop. It’s funny, because if someone were to open the door accidentally while you were own the throne, you would absolutely flip a s*** because the bathroom is a sacred place. Yet, you’re more than willing to send a snap to a friend of yourself on the toilet? These snaps will never make sense.

Food Porn Snaps

While these are usually in the form of a Snapstory, they are so unnecessary. We all eat, too. I don’t care how many pieces of pumpkin spiced French toast you ate at Farmers Fishers Bakers (queue basic biddies google searching to see if this is a real thing), there is no need for you to remind me how bad Leo’s is by sending me a picture of your food. I’m just a poor, hungry college student trying to survive on ramen and all of the extra food I take when I use a meal swipe at Einstein’s.

Drunken Snaps

You get a snap during the wee hours of the morning from that friend that you’d rather not admit is one of your best friends on Snapchat. Nevertheless, you’re lying in your bed on a lazy Sunday morning afternoon and decide to open it up. It’s a video of them not realizing they were taking a video because they thought they were trying to take a picture. You decide to shoot them a text: “Hey, you good? I’m so hung-over that Leo’s doesn’t sound half bad.”

Play-by-Play Snaps

blackout scheduled schumer

It must be a big deal when (insert name) goes out on the weekends because they send you a snaps updating you on their location, activity and amount of drinks consumed eleven times before you can say “GERMS”. Just remember, Snapchat, like everything else, should only be used in moderation.

Happy Snapping!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, tumblr.com

Friends Knowledge is Important

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This is a real first paragraph of a real majority opinion published at the close of a real D.C. Circuit of the U.S. Court of Appeals case.

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Judge Janice Rogers Brown, who penned the opinion, explains in the next paragraph how the sitcom applies to her case about a D.C. school director’s fraud and the federal government’s seizure of school property. Apparently, the Fed excluded the SunRise academy from the director’s criminal case saying that it could appeal for its property in a third party forfeiture proceeding. When SunRise tried this, the federal government said SunRise was barred because of information that was exposed in the criminal case they were excluded from.

Basically: “heads the government wins and tails SunRise loses.”

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Brown seems to think that Rachel’s coin toss was #notcool and neither was the federal government’s decision.

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Whatever, Rachel. You know that coin toss was lame.

The moral of this story is that you should stop studying and get on with Season Ten, Episode 5, “The One Where Rachel’s Babysitter Babysits,” because Friends knowledge is more important than Econ Stat knowledge.

dancingmonica

info: Buzzfeed.com, cadc.uscourts.gov
Photos/Gifs: unabashedlypoetic.files.wordpress.com, tumblr.com, weminoredinfilm.files.wordpress.com 

Big Announcement: The Hilltoss Now Has Smoothies

 

smoothiesEveryone’s favorite on-campus hipster salad storefront has gotten even better, healthier and more colorful. Hilltoss now sells smoothies, and they are rad.

Each smoothie was built upon a concept and designed to represent a place in the world. The smoothies were carefully crafted by a diligent team of taste testers, striving to create new and different flavor combinations to produce the best smoothie possible.

4E, in our quest for truth and research, was given the opportunity to sample the five new and innovative fruit concoctions now available for purchase.

Here’s a rundown of the flavors:

The Rock

giphyIngredients: oat milk, Greek yogurt, banana, spinach, coconut sugar and vanilla whey protein

The Rock is based on a classic protein shake, but the ingredient combination gives it a sweet, vanilla milkshakey flavor.
Who should order it: Are you looking to get yoked? Do you look like this every time you go to Yates?
funny gifs With 40 grams of protein, The Rock is the smoothie for you.
Obscure ingredient fact: Coconut sugar is made from the sap of the flowers of coconut trees.

Eloise
Eloise
Ingredients: almond milk, coconut water, orange juice, Greek yogurt, banana, blueberries, raspberries, strawberries, agave and flaxseed

The Eloise was the most smoothie-like smoothie of all the samples. It tasted like your classic strawberry banana smoothie.
Who should order it: Order the Eloise if you like to stick to the basics.
Obscure ingredient fact: Flaxseed was grown in Babylon as early as 3000, and Charlemagne passed laws requiring his subjects to eat it.

Ipanema
giphy-1 Ingredients: coconut milk, coconut water, Greek yogurt, coconut meat, pineapple and agave

The Ipanema tasted like a piña colada (minus the alcohol and regrettable decisions). If you love coconut, get the Ipanema.
Who should order it: If you chug coconut juice like there’s no tomorrow and have daydreams about the beach, the Ipanema is for you.
Obscure ingredient fact: Coconuts were named by Portuguese sailors who thought the three holes on the coconut looked like a face. “Coco” means “grinning face.”

Ashram
giphy-2 Ingredients: orange juice, pineapples, strawberries, wheatgrass, goji powder, spirulina and emergen-c

The Ashram was my personal favorite. Despite the dark green color, which suggests scary vegetables, the Ashram was very refreshing. It also has emergen-c to get you through your winter stuffy-nose blues.
Who should order it: If you’re looking to cure your cold or just want to promote your health-conscious image while drinking a fantastic smoothie, the Ashram is for you.
Obscure ingredient fact: Spirulina is the culprit for the dark green color. It’s a cyanobacteria that comes from fresh water lake moss.

Central Perk
giphy-3 Ingredients: coffee, chocolate almond milk, almond milk, banana, dates, cacao powder, cinnamon and coconut sugar.

The Central Perk is a game changer for everyone who loves their Starbucks frappuccinos. It has a strong cinnamon flavor, and was similar to a coffee milkshake.
Who should order it: If you love coffee and can’t get enough of your non-fat caramel frappuccino with extra whipped cream and chocolate sauce, give the Central Perk a try. Also, who among us is strong enough to resist Friends references?
Obscure ingredient fact: Contrary to popular belief, almond milk is not made by milking almonds.

The remnants of the Ashram, Eloise, The Rock, Ipanema, and Central Perk
The remnants of the Ashram, Eloise, The Rock, Ipanema, and Central Perk

In conclusion, spend all your money on smoothies at the Hilltoss. You will not regret it.

Photos/Gifs: giphy, gifbin.com, tumblr.com, hercampus.com

Friends: A Retrospective

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It has officially been over a month since Friends took Netflix by storm. One month, and so much has changed.

Here is the deal: Ten seasons + 236 episodes + 6 friends = The destruction of my social life.

*Note: I haven’t finished the show yet, but I am well on my way.*

While I think that I have lost all connection to the outside world because of this show, I gain some sense of solace in knowing that everyone (well, everyone who has their priorities in check) is going through the same thing. It is an addiction and a real #struggle.

 So what have I learned in the last month?

1. Dating within friend groups is an amazing idea, until it really isn’t. But, if you keep going for enough seasons you will achieve a kind of bliss.

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2. Always make it clear if you are or are not on a break. You don’t want to start up that fight… again.

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#teamross

3. Jobs aren’t important, you can go a season without a real job and no one will question it.

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4. “How you doing?” is the only pickup line you ever need. Even though it will work only like 1/3 of the time.

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5. Getting divorced 3 times in 10 seasons is not only allowed, it is encouraged. Despite this, you actually will find love.

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6. Smelly cats can provide the inspiration for the best songs. But actually, what are they feeding you?

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7. There will always be that extremely annoying person who will actually NEVER GO AWAY. No matter the year, the time, the place or the person, they will find you.

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8. Neighbors are forever. But if you stare at them from your window long enough they will move away. TBT ugly naked man.

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Have I watched too much Friends? That’s my business. Are you judging me?

tumblr_lkixwwFaw01qc9z2jo1_500 Remember, friends who watch Friends together are better friends.

See you on Netflix.

Photos/Gifs: news.com.au; tumblr.com; giphy.com

4E Flix: The Friends Takeover

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We all love Netflix, the ultimate procrastination tool for any struggling college student. Every few months the website adds some awesome new shows to help us to continue our addictions.

Everyone with a brain (or a Facebook) knows that the biggest recent addition was that of Friends, the 90s show which combines friendship, love and random animals.

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I mean, SO many memorable moments have occurred on this show. And now we get to relive them all from the comfort of your own couch/bed/Lau 3 table.

Here are some of my favorite moments, in gif form of course:

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This show has been getting some serious traction; I have heard from 5 different people today that they couldn’t stay and chat because they had to “go watch too many episodes of Friends“. I am also suffering from this addiction and there seems to be no cure in sight.

Until now! 4E presents to you the “new” Netflix shows that you can watch to stop being obsessed with Friends.

Black Mirror. This is a show that I feel like everyone and their mother are talking about. Even though I have never seen it, I think it is about technology and Twilight Zone kind of things, mixed with social commentary.

Parks and Recreation. As the final season of the iconic comedy premieres tonight, there is no better time to catch up on all the laughs from the previous seasons. You don’t wanna be watching the last season and not catch on to one of the jokes because you forgot it (which is impossible but you get the point).

House of Cards. Okay so technically, the new season isn’t out yet, but in only a few short weeks you will be able to binge watch the most politically messed-up show on the Internet. For now, just check out the super dramatic trailer. It will kill you (not literally).

Archer. I personally have never seen this show but, as with any running television program, it probably is important to understand the background before diving head-in. Just a thought.

Arrested Development. Finally, you should totally watch (or rewatch) one of the best (and funniest) TV shows of this generation. This is especially important for those of you who have *gasp* never seen the show before. You need to get in on all the jokes, instead of staring blankly when your friends reference this show.

Happy procrastination, friends. If you find yourself in need of another source of procrastination you should totally apply to write for 4E. Join us.

Photos/Gifs: tumblr.com; dailycal.org