Welcome Back!

The trees on Prospect Street are starting to change color. The NSO horde has descended upon campus, tasked with welcoming over a thousand new students. Jack the Bulldog is on his way home from a restful summer vacation in Turks & Caicos.

In other words, the start of a new school year is here.

View into a typical apartment/dorm room the night before classes start.

We’ve been away for a while, so 4E has placed several investigative journalists on the scene to inform you, our readers, about the current state of life at Georgetown.

1.  Late Night Leo’s is back. This reporter got eyes on a top-secret Dining Committee meeting in which, praise be, it was confirmed that Leo’s will be both extending its evening hours AND its daily breakfast hours. Things are really looking up. How to take advantage of this upgrade: take your significant other on a romantic date in the sensual ambiance of post-9pm O’Donovan’s on the Waterfront.

You back on your “Eat, Pray, Leo’s” bulls***.

2. Senseless construction projects continue to reign supreme. This reporter has gathered several receipts on the noisy, bothersome operations that disrupt the usually mediocre idyllic standard of life at Georgetown. From the Hospital Pavilion to the perplexing gated area in front of Regents, prepare yourselves for a year of getting woken up early by drill sounds.

“A Quiet Place” but the monsters are construction workers disturbing your drunken slumber.

3. Coming Soon: Big Mouth Season 2. 4E’s favorite Hoyalumni, John Mulaney and Nick Kroll, have been killing it with their stand-up specials, Broadway shows and overall hilariousness. The former GU Improv duo made puberty the ~butt~ of many jokes with Netflix’s Big Mouth. Lucky for us, more is supposedly coming our way this fall. Be sure to binge watch instead of studying for midterms. Its what John and Nick would have wanted.

Freshmen using their fakes at Opera for the first time.

4. Rats. They’re everywhere. Returning students are generally desensitized to the presence of rodents on campus, but it feels like they’ve come back with a vengeance this year. This reporter was personally victimized by several SCREECHING critters on the way back from LXR last night. Just throwing it out there—there’s no shame in taking a SafeRide from ICC to Vil A to avoid them.

Walking out of Lau at 2 am like…

5. LIL DICKY is coming to town. Not ~technically~ a Georgetown-specific event, but if you haven’t bought tickets yet for his November 6th show, GET THEM NOW. I’m totally not writing this so I can DM him and tell him that I personally sold tickets on his behalf, causing him to fall in love and have beautiful Jewish babies with me.

 

Honorary AEPi member

6. Kirstjen Nielsen. While most of us were topping off our tans and drinking vodka lemonades, this Georgetown grad spent her summer separating families and interning children in “tender-age facilities.” I can’t *smh* enough about the work of Kirstjen and her fellow #guilty alum, Mr. Paul Manafort.

What is tax fraud anyway, though?

7. Midterms! I’m not talking about the ones that give you a temporary ulcer and make you question the purpose of higher education. DC is about to be torn apart in a storm of political divisiveness, so hurry up and get yourselves Hillternships ASAP so you can watch it happen. Caveat emptor: you have to actually vote in order to participate.

Oprah for the House, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson for the Senate.

8. You’re still playing yourself. Georgetown may be one of the top schools in the country, but even great intellect can’t stop smart people from doing stupid things. Locking yourself out of your room for the third time in three days really makes you question the teachers who told you to dream big back in high school. Here’s to a year full of dumb mistakes…

You can always drink away the embarrassment.

Best of luck everyone! Hoya Saxa.

 

Sources: giphy.com, theanthemdc.com,

Welcoming 4E’s Fall Hires!

Every semester, 4E is blessed with a brand new bunch of bloggers! From reading their applications, to laughing at with them during interviews, we had a blast getting to know these students. Learn more about our shining six new bloggers:


Jessica Lin (COL ’21)

Top 5 Best Shows for the Pre-Teen Soul

  1. SpongeBob SquarePants. Objectively everyone’s cartoon of choice. Though some of us may have aged into Squidwards, we’ll always have a soft spot for the shrill yet endearing voice of Bikini Bottom’s most legendary resident. The show is currently on its 11th season. Are ye ready kids?
  2. Drake & Josh. Teen comedy at its finest. We cackled over Josh’s wildly emphatic gestures, harbored a low-key (or even high-key) crush on Drake, and held a begrudging respect for Megan’s hilariously vindictive antics. If ever watching reruns, let’s all hope for the laugh tracks to drown out our reaction to Drake not receiving an invitation to his brutha’s wedding.
  3. Zoey 101. Let’s admit it: we were all a little bitter when our high schools turned out to be nothing like PCA. Maybe it’s not too late to cruise past Healy in a Jet X scooter, though.
  4. Avatar: The Last Airbender. Our OG guilty pleasure. We might have started it just for kicks, but Zuko won us over with his transition to the “good guys” side. Suck it, Fire Nation.
  5. Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide. Ned, Cookie, Moze: name a more iconic trio. But this time, we probably weren’t too disappointed that our school experience was (hopefully) nothing like Ned’s.

Sam Shapiro (SFS ’21)

Top 5 Presidents I’d Like to Party With

  1. Ike Eisenhower. He’s seen some things. I would definitely be down to hear some wild war stories. Also, he was a cheerleader at West Point. Actually, that’s kinda sus.
  2. Warren G. Harding. Despite being one of the worst presidents of all time, Warren G. must have been the life of the party. He gambled away multiple sets of White House china. He was infertile though, also kinda sus.
  3. Ronald Reagan. I’m talking Hollywood Ronny, SAG President Ronny, vintage Eureka College Ronny. Definitely not War on Drugs Ronald. Definitely not.
  4. John F. Kennedy. He’s so handsome. Like so handsome. Partying with JFK means partying with Jacky O and partying with Marilyn Monroe: two things I’m surely here for. 
  5. Donald Trump. lmao jk. Bill Clinton. This may be the biggest no-brainer of all time. Have we ever had a president so charming. Fuck, have we ever had an American so charming? At some point during the night he’s gonna whip out the saxophone. Then, it’s really going down.

Zayna Nassoura (COL ’20)

Top 5 Pillars of My Life

  1. Long Beach Island. I have been going to LBI for as long as I can remember. It’s part of the Jersey Shore but nothing at all like the tv show. It’s a quaint little island with lots of small shops and art. My time there includes biking, picking up my morning coffee and, of course, Wawa.
  2. O’Bagel. If you’ve never had a New Jersey bagel, you have to! I recommend going to O’Bagel (but other N.J. bagel shops will work). I personally suggest getting a bacon, egg, and cheese on a plain bagel on a Sunday morning.
  3. Khalid. Khalid is my favorite artist of all time. Yes, I know that’s a bold statement considering I didn’t even know who he was a year ago. But I’m telling you, he has changed my life. I have listened to his album “American Teen” nonstop since he came out with it.
  4. New York City. I could spend a whole day in the Met looking at art or in Chelsea gallery hopping. Other days I love going to SoHo and shopping with friends. During the holidays, Broadway and Rockefeller are my go-to stops.
  5. “My People.” This includes my friends and family. For me, weekends at home wouldn’t be the same without my parents blasting music through the speakers, my brother making a new recipe or my other brothers playing on their computer together. I can’t imagine not having sushi and movie nights with my friends or brunch on weekend mornings.

Joanie Castiello (COL ’20)

Top 5 Spreads of All Time (In Order from Greatest to Least Great)

  1. (Crunchy) Peanut Butter
  2. (Perfect Pita Roasted Red Pepper) Hummus
  3. Guacamole
  4. Queso
  5. Nutella

Isabel Roemer (NHS ’21)

Top 5 Things About Being a Freshman at Georgetown

  1. NSO. There’s nothing better than bearing witness to uncomfortable flirtations between awkward and sexually confused 18 year olds. From Convocation to Pluralism in Action, your orientation group has your back—until you promptly begin avoiding eye contact the day after NSO ends. But fear not, the awkwardness pays off with the infamous NSO pregame a couple of weeks later. There are things to look forward to!!!
  2. Club Lau. What better way to introduce yourself to those ~intimidating~ upperclassmen than by getting your groove on at a communal library jam sesh?? No jokes here, I literally danced so hard that water was dripping out of my ponytail by the end of the night. What a unique intro course on how to keep off the freshman fifteen!
  3. #Cawledge #Lyfe. Two days into the semester. I am strutting around campus like the independent college woman that I am. What’s that? Only one class on Mondays AND Wednesdays? Whatever shall I do with my time?? What’s that? Eating Cheez-Its out of a mug and watching celebrity closet tours is not socially acceptable? I guess I’ll just find some club applications to keep myself busy!
  4. Ballin’ on a budget. Only college students can be simultaneously cheap as hell and totally irresponsible with their finances. No, I am not willing to do laundry in the two weeks before it’s free, and again, no, there’s no way I can pass up getting $12 Korean barbecue at the farmer’s market. There’s no compromising here.
  5. New South pregames. Infamous. Unprecedented. So many adjectives I could use to describe these glorious soirées held by the most impressive, confident, sink-owning members of the freshman class. But watch out–if you party too hardy the RA might get wind of your rager and, in a fit of jealousy, snap pictures of you and your best buddies’ GOCards. Will you or won’t you get community service? A question you can agonize over with Shakespearean angst for the rest of the semester.

Elizabeth Park (COL ’21)

Top 5 Guilty Pleasures

  1. Pretending the rest of the world doesn’t exist while singing: More like yelling/screaming at the top of your lungs to the Spice Girl’s hit song, “Wannabe” — of course acting like the guitarist, drummer and lead singer is highly encouraged.
  2. Planning on making cookies and then just eating the raw cookie dough: Don’t worry, I make the batter without eggs; salmonella doesn’t exactly seem like the most pleasant thing.
  3. Binge-watching all the “High School Musical” movies: (C’mon, I know guys like those too. I’ve seen them secretly jamming out to the soundtrack before.)
  4. Watching Dr. Pimple Popper videos: Okay, I know that these are disgusting. I keep asking myself, “Why do you click on it when you know you’re going to end up cringing from disgust?” But even so, I somehow always end up watching another one.
  5. Eating a Hot Pocket at 2:30 in the morning: Really, eating any sort of microwaveable food that requires the least amount of brain cells to make is great at 2:30 a.m.

We can’t wait to see what our new bloggers will bring this semester and beyond!

Photos: facebook.com, thehoya.com

How To: CHARMS

Is it time for you to find your first ever college roommate? Get excited for a year (or four) of pillow talks, impromptu dance parties, sexiling and shared bathrooms! Finding/having a roommate is nothing to stress out about. In my opinion, you can have three outcomes: A. You may find and get to live with a newfound BFFL; B. Your freshman year roommate will be someone that you can get along with well enough (not the future best man in your wedding, but trustworthy and good for a couple of 2am heart-to-hearts); or C. Getting through the year may require some Facetime-enabled venting to your parents, but you’ll emerge (mostly) unscathed with some great stories to tell about your miscommunications.

Many of you will find your roommate using CHARMS (Campus Housing Roommate Matching System….CHRMS?), which is perhaps better understood as the college-roommate-version of Tinder. CHARMS has a curiously high success rate. Is it a match made in heaven? It’s actually more like a  match made by virtually dating other eligible roommate-seeking baby-Hoyas after comparing room temperature preferences and how messy neat you are. Using this bewilderingly successful forum is as much a rite of passage as Club Lau, getting lost in the ICC, DFMOing with a stranger on a Vil A rooftop and learning how to order an Epi quesadilla. In order to help you with this signature Georgetown experience, here are some tips and tricks to hopefully help make your CHARMS adventure a little ~easier~.

1. Use Facebook It is much easier to communicate via FB Messenger than on the CHARMS site itself. Using Facebook saves you from logging on to the Starrez Housing Portal to check messages and lets you see when someone has read your message. Additionally, friending your potential roomie on Facebook allows you to do some ~wholesome investigation~ to make sure that they were just as weird (and good at Photo Booth) in seventh grade as you were. Plus, this allows you two to tag each other in the comment sections of some stellar memes – objectively the most effective means of determining your compatibility.

2.  Be Honest

This is my biggest piece of advice. There are roughly 2000 people in your grade, so don’t worry about revealing yourself to not be 100% compatible with one of the ~three people that CHARMS initially matches you with based on your Living Preference Questionnaire (a series of mostly arbitrary questions) answers. Don’t claim to be the world’s most organized person if, in fact, a greater percentage of your clothing is lying on your floor rather than neatly hanging in your closet. No need to disclose the exact number of empty water bottles currently in your bedroom, but come clean (#notsorry) about some of your messier tendencies and find a roommate who will understand (rather than resent) your system of putting your dirty clothes on the floor when your laundry basket is full of clean clothes that haven’t been put away yet.

3. Some Helpful Translations

“I’m in the McDonough School of Business” I won’t have classes on Friday. I have an extensive collection of Vineyard Vines polos. In my free time I enjoy cracking open a cold one with the MSBros. “I’m pre-med” I have early morning lectures. Aesthetic: goggle lines post-three-hour chem lab. Celebrity crush: Neil deGrasse Tyson. “I’m kind of a NARP” Direct translation: I’m a Non-Athletic Regular Person. More accurate interpretation: I have little intention of ever setting foot in Yates Field House (Field Dungeon?), but might be persuaded to go to SoulCycle if we can get acai bowls at South Block after. “I LOVE The Office” I will tag you in an endless stream of Michael Scott memes. You better understand my frequent references and respond appropriately, and also support my “Prison Mike” Halloween costume.

4. Plan ahead, but be realistic!

Coordinating some logistics with your roommate ahead of time is a good idea. Figure out what items you might want to have, what will be shared and who is bringing/buying a mini-fridge, a clothes drying rack, cleaning supplies, etc. Just remember that most freshmen dorm rooms are on the smaller side. I was particularly lucky to score what seemed to be a glorified closet of a freshman dorm room—great for some roomie bonding, less great for housing two humans and too many Bed Bath and Beyond purchases. Bill Clinton did it and you can too, but don’t plan on buying a couch or bringing your pet elephant. Best of luck finding a roommate! Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, theodysseyonline.com

Takeaways From a Semester at Georgetown

Congratulations! You made it through first semester (barely). But now you’ve returned wiser, crazier, somehow smarter and definitely fatter! This is what I’ve learned after my first semester of freshman year. Let’s go.

1. Clubs aren’t as big of a deal as they were first semester. If you don’t get into the clubs you want this semester, it’s honestly okay. You have friends now :’)


2. Ask a friend from MSB to print out that paper for you. We basically have unlimited printing. There’s no way we can use all 1,500 pages in a single semester.


3. There’s a method to falling asleep in class. Basically, after you meet eyes with the professor after dozing off, master this face for as long as possible:

4. Take every opportunity to explore and get involved in D.C. First semester is already over and before we know it, this year will be gone. College is short, so savor it.


5. There’s a bus to Safeway in front of Darnall that leaves every 20 minutes after 2 PM. You do not have to walk there.

I repeat:

You do not have to walk there.

6. If you haven’t stolen anything from Leo’s, you’re doing Georgetown wrong. Mugs, forks, spoons, 15 bananas, the panini press–whatever it is, take it. Except the waffle maker. Don’t ruin everyone’s day.

7. You will never stop running into that one specific hookup. It’s a given.

8. Your philosophy class probably sounds something like this:


9. On Thursdays in MSB, there are free bagels, juice, and coffee around 10 AM. Go and grab one, even if you’re not in MSB; it’s scheming time.

10. Time to hit the gym this time around!

And that’s it folks. We got this.

Photos/gifs: giphy.com

Roommate Horror Stories: Freshman Edition

freshman horror stories

As explained by every Blue & Gray Tour Guide, CHARMS is an online matchmaking service to help incoming freshmen find their roommates. And as with any dating app, there are the stories of the students who live together happily ever after for all of their four years and are best friends because they found love in the hopeless place that is CHARMS. Roommates for four years? Why would anyone not use CHARMS? Well, just as there are stories of success with online dating, there are those stories that are horrifying, hilarious and just downright weird.

Note: Stories have been edited for grammar only. Anonymity has been granted to all people involved in the stories in order to preserve hard-earned reputations and dignity upon their return to the Hilltop in the fall.

Sometimes the horror stories are not about the roommate, but about what happens to both you and your roommate. It’s times like these that bring us together: “My freshman year roommate and I made out with the same guy on the same weekend. We found out this sobering fact a few months later and the guy didn’t even go to Georgetown.” While an experience like this is sure to leave one shocked, it might actually enrich the roommate relationship. So not every story has a horrible ending.But don’t be so optimistic. Other times, you think you know your roommate, but then the cops come knocking on your door. Think your roommate was a badass? Think again: “My freshman year roommate was a high-level drug dealer who was involved with the Colombian drug trade and was expelled from Georgetown for unlawful possession of a firearm and a pound of weed.” Looks like someone applied their lessons from International Trade to a real-life situation … just not the right one. 

While it’s rare that someone has a drug dealer for a roommate, it’s a lot more common for someone to just not get along with their roommate due to trouble with finding common ground:

It all started with a small misunderstanding about temperature. We both wanted the room to be cold, but had different definitions of cold: mine simply meant I didn’t want to sweat while sleeping, and his meant he wanted to see just how close one could get to absolute zero. He would wake up and aggressively open up the windows during the unforgettable polar vortex. From there, our relationship devolved into petty passive-aggressive arguments, culminating in him calling me a “wildebeest” (but on Yik-Yak, because he was too scared to say it to my face). “He could be found blasting Britney Spears in the shower during the wee hours of the night, throwing pre-games in the room when I was gone for the weekend, and complaining to his mom about me in a language I never told him I spoke fluently.”

At least the roommates in the story above could converse. Some were unable to speak to each other in their own room, let alone in a public setting.

“We were friendly for the first week, but after a small misunderstanding he spoke to me less and less. It came to the point where he wouldn’t even acknowledge me when I said ‘Hi’ to him in public (and sometimes even our own room). It wasn’t just me; he would also ignore my friends, whom he had met on several occasions. He would repeatedly steal all my food/drinks and refused to stop, even though I asked him to do so on several occasions. When we talked on CHARMS, he claimed to be clean. I, however, learned otherwise when I would come home to find his bodily substances still in our toilet. He would also host pre-games and neither tell nor even invite me (there were literally Facebook events that I found out about from people in my dorm). Later in the year, I found out he was spreading absurd rumors about me. For example, he told people that I would spend free time by pouring vodka down a certain part of my anatomy. As if he knew what I did in my free time. Because I just loved to hang out with my hostile roommate.

To be honest, they were probably meant to be coverups for the ridiculous (but actually true) stories that I had the potential to spread about him (which I did not).”

It seems that freshmen housing involves tough times for some Hoyas. Sometimes roommates are less horrifying and more odd. Such a phenomenon may be illustrated in the decorations that adorn the walls of some freshmen’s rooms: “My freshman roommate had a collage of 40 pictures on her wall. Sixteen of them were just of her. Just solo shots. Some were in cool destinations, but the majority were at her high school or by a random lake.” Well, Georgetown was voted as having one of the most attractive student bodies. Apparently some Hoyas are just very proud of it.

Now comes a new category: drunken urination stories. Everyone knows the saying “You gotta go when you gotta go.” Well, let’s just say that this proverb is especially true after one engages in a certain type of debauchery.

“I was friends with my freshman year roommate, and we have enough stories to write a book. For example, one night he came home severely intoxicated. We both went to sleep and I locked the door. Around 5 a.m., I woke up to him desperately trying to open the door. Unfortunately, he was still too drunk so he did not realize that the door was locked. He soon gave up on trying to exit our room, turned around and peed in our trash can, which was lined with a garbage bag. The next morning, I found a puddle of urine at the bottom of our garbage bag, but my roommate did not remember peeing in it at all. For six days, there it sat, our urine-filled garbage bag. He didn’t take it out, and neither did I. Although I was absolutely disgusted, I found out there were worse things that could happen.”

A urine-filled garbage can. But imagine if that urine belonged to neither you nor your roommate.

“My roommate and I woke up at 3 a.m. to find one of our drunk neighbors peeing in our trash can, which was not made out of plastic. It was one of those chain mesh ones, which resulted in none of his urine actually staying in the trash can. On the verge of wringing his neck, we quickly kicked him out of the room. He had no recollection of the incident the next morning. Nevertheless, I still made him buy me a new, plastic trash can for future incidents.” Asserting dominance in situations like these is definitely a power move, so props to you.As usual, we at 4E save the best for last. One of my favorites, this unnamed hero sticks out from the others. She told me how she herself was a roommate horror story. She not only seemed comfortable with it; she #OwnedIt.

“I don’t have a roommate horror story. I am a roommate (and floormate) horror story. After a night out in early September, I came back to my room and thought it would be hilarious to take a Snapchat with my sleeping roommate, whom I had met just days prior to this occurrence. I posed next to the sleeping body and took a flash selfie, only to find out that my roommate had a friend sleeping over. So I took a selfie with a stranger and had to explain myself when this person woke up. My roommate, on the other hand, slept through the whole thing.Fast forward a few weeks and she actually ended up moving out, so I thought I had the room to myself. It turns out I was wrong, because my one human roommate was replaced by three happy mice who lived in the nooks and crannies of my room. One time I was eating leftover Mai Thai when two mice darted out from under my vents, squeaked to each other and then ran back under the vents. I, of course, continued eating.The third mouse made an appearance when I reached into a desk drawer to investigate a torn bag of chips. It darted out across my hand, and then ran under my bed. My scream for help was so loud, violent and bloodcurdling that it sounded like someone was stabbing me repeatedly. A few floor-mates rushed to my rescue as I continued to howl.And what had I done to them in return for my rescue?! I refused to take the blame for the vomit that sat in our bathroom for five days straight. It got to the point where girls were walking down to bathrooms on the lower floors to brush their teeth. Is it too late now to say sorry?”

Some Hoyas have housing horror stories to tell, while others have nothing but bliss. Freshman year is a time to grow, and that includes living with people you may not immediately click with. Even if you have a bad roommate, look at it this way: You’ll have the stories to tell for the rest of your life. Not everyone can claim the same. So when times are getting tough with your roommate and you’re beyond the point of working things out, just remember: You only have to live with him or her for one year. After that, you’re free, and you can say goodbye and put your roommate behind you.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, http://bit.ly/2ayFjHp

Bananas, Beauties, and Freshman Fails: Exploring Georgetown Via Instagram

Banner - Finstas

As most of you know (and if you don’t, crawl out from under your rock), Georgetown University has a large social media presence. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and more recently, Snapchat make up the various means by which Georgetown makes itself known on the Internet. School administrators and a few students run these accounts, but due to their overwhelming sense of idealism, Georgetown may appear to be a bit too welcoming. We may appear to be hard-to-swallow ~aggressively hospitable~.

Although these social media accounts are managed without flaw, many current students have a hard time admitting that they accurately portray what happens at our beloved school. Have no fear, 4E is here to give you the scoop! Over the last year, several masters of social media have started to portray Georgetown in a more down-to-earth way through the use of finstas, which I’m assuming most, if not all of you know to be fake Instagram accounts. The unnamed “saints” behind these accounts capture moments of Georgetown students’ lives as they happen, not as planned out beforehand. Some of the major accounts include @georgetowndimes, @hoyas_eatin_naners, @couplesatleos, and @gufreshmendointhings. These accounts specialize in Georgetown’s most attractive students, freshman fails, love on the hilltop, and quite literally, students devouring bananas. What a time to be alive!

In order to promote these accounts and thus make your life so much better, I have composed a brief, but ~comprehensive~ exposé on these accounts.

  1. @georgetowndimes– Dedicated to recognizing some of Georgetown’s most gorgeous students, this account currently stands at five posts, the first being released on April 18. Not to knock on the person(s) running the account, but I think that the account definitely needs some work. Only five posts in over two months? Come on now. Also, if you’re supposed to be featuring Georgetown’s best-looking students, shouldn’t there at least be more than five? We were voted as one of the colleges with the most attractive student body. On a more positive note, I do commend this account for what it does and its name. It has a ring to it that none of the others have. For those of you interested, here’s the account’s page.

    IMG_3409
    I know I’ve ripped on this account enough, but its ratio is atrocious.
  2. @hoyas_eatin_naners: Interestingly enough, this is actually the second Instagram account that follows bananas at Georgetown. The first, @georgetownbananas, started in September 2014 and its last post was in January 2015, with only nine posts in total. It has since been dormant. Disappointing? Yes. It may be too late to resurrect this account. Now, with @hoyas_eatin_naners, we’re in the big leagues. Setting the standard high with 59 posts in four months, this account is much more active than the one described above (probably the reason it has more followers). Its ratio, with 242 followers and 110 following, is much better than that of @georgetowndimes. The account’s bio? “Every day, hundreds of Leo’s namers lose their lives. These are their stories.” The reference to SVU alone is enough to make people ~go bananas~. Every situation you can think of, from accounting-exam-stress to dartying, involves a banana. The people who run this account (rumor has it they’re sophomores) are to be commended for the fact that they make a Hoya’s day by either featuring them and/or making them laugh.
  3. @couplesatleos– We all see them ~those couples~. They sit together at Leo’s and act like they’re so much better than the rest of us are so happy together.IMG_3405We also see those people who aren’t couples, but are sitting together so they might as well be. IMG_3404This account is dedicated to recording such instances and poking fun at them in a lighthearted manner. With 24 posts in just one month, this account had a strong start. The photos may be not as high-quality as those of @hoyas_eatin_naners, nor may it have a better ratio, but it’s up there with the banana-lover account in my book. It is following 583 other accounts but has 397 followers, thus beating all of the other Georgetown finstas. The plus to this account is that more people probably notice the couples that sit together at Leo’s, not the apparently large amount of bananas that are consumed each day (still a very important issue).
  4. @gufreshmendointhings– Last but not least, we have the account that draws attention to the ups and downs of a freshman’s life. Its ratio is close to that of the account described above, with 383 followers and 598 following. Its bio perfectly lays out what the account covers: “Photos in front of Healy Hall, making out on a Vil A rooftop, first Leo’s date? We see you”. From DFMOs to NSO, @gufreshmendointhings is there to record those moments when freshmen reveal how basic they truly are. IMG_3399Or it reveals how they do things that you don’t really see every day, such as someone brushing his/her teeth in a Lau bathroom.Screen Shot 2016-06-23 at 1.26.08 PMRegardless, this account brings us laughs and reminds us of things that either we or our friends did when we were freshmen. Some of the account’s posts cannot be pictured here for obvious reasons, but you get the idea.

Why should you follow these finstas? For one, some of their posts will brighten your day almost immediately (unless you’re featured in an embarrassing one). They also enable you to look further into Georgetown life, beyond those fake amazing videos that the administration posts via Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Finally, you should follow them to support your fellow Hoyas behind the accounts (some might just follow you back AND like your photos). The debate over which finsta is the best still continues, so let’s see if it can be settled once and for all.

Photos and gifs:  giphy.com, instagram.com, google.com, http://bit.ly/28QwQkm 

A Freshman’s Guide to Manipulating Residential Living

Banner - Housing TipsIt’s that time of year for high school seniors. The time when they (those incoming freshman) fill out the famed Living Preference Questionnaire and begin the housing process. To all of you younglings, congratulations on your commitment to Georgetown. Now you finally can start making decisions about your freshmen year. What a time to be alive!

To all the current students, I’m sure you remember what it was like getting the first emails from housing. The excitement of ending high school and beginning college is something that almost everyone experiences. Housing was one of the first symbols of this change. No, we didn’t really care about the living survey. There were only two things that really mattered: our roommates and our housing assignments. We at least had some control over our roommate if we used the infamous CHARMS system. Let’s just say this works out better for some than it does for others.On the other hand, most of us had no control over our housing assignment.  There were maybe one or two little-known ways to work the system. Other than that, we were on our own. We all prayed for New South and scoffed at Darnall. When assignments were released in August, reactions included joy, disappointment, indifference, and just downright shock. Residents of New South were ecstatic, residents of Darnall felt cheated, and the residents of Harbin and VCW figured they would be okay. Oh, and then there were those of us in VCE. Note to incoming students: Darnall is NOT THE WORST. I repeat, if you get Darnall, it is NOT the end of the world. You are at least with other freshmen (and mice/rats) who keep you company in your isolation. We VCEers are alone; we have barely any freshmen to whom we can turn. 

We all thought we just had bad luck. Unfortunately for us, we were wrong; we just didn’t know the tricks of the system! Fortunately for all new students, 4E is going to share some tips on how to cheat the housing system. While some might say that these tricks will not work, please just look at what happened with housing this year. Do you really think that outsmarting the housing system is hard? 

In order to make sure that you’re satisfied with your housing assignment, here are some neat ways you can manipulate the system and/or the Residential Living Staff.

  1. Request medical housing– This could be a power move for some people. Some current students were granted medical housing due to gluten allergies. While this may seem like a scam (which it is), it may get you into either VCW or even New South. Discover your hidden ailment, fall down a flight of stairs, make up a disease: do whatever you gotta do to get medical housing.
  2. Post your most embarrassing story in the GAAP Facebook Group– Posting in the GAAP group may indeed make you famous (just ask Alessandra Puccio). If you post a really embarrassing story about yourself, your name might just reach the ears of the Residential Living Staff. What better way to both get good housing and put yourself out there to your new classmates? Disclaimer: If you actually do this, people will know you when you arrive. Will people envy you? That depends on how great the story is. 
  3. Request a single sex floor– Usually, if you request a single sex floor, you’ll probably end up in VCW or Harbin. While neither of these options are the same as the coveted New South, they are not the worst housing options on campus. You also will definitely not get Darnall. Both offer central locations, and each have unique features. Harbin has the cluster formation, while VCW offers the two-winged design, straight hallways and private bathrooms. If I were you, I would hope for Harbin, since private bathrooms don’t thrill me that much.
  4. Go on Tinder and swipe right for an administrator– Todd Olsen, the Vice President for Student Affairs, is a man of mystery. Does he actually have a Tinder profile? Who knows. But if he does, take advantage of the situation. If he also swipes right on you, you’ll have an excellent bargaining chip in your possession. It may not even our dear friend Todd; it could be anyone high up in the administration. New South, here you come! (We are clearly joking…)
  5. Write a very large check– This almost maybe definitely work, but please don’t be that guy.

In the end, you should not stress too much about housing. No matter where you live as a freshman, you’ll end up making friends in your dorm. Even if you don’t, your friends are a stone’s throw away (except if they’re in Darnall). Just fill out the living survey and wait. Finally, for your housing assignment and more importantly, your roommate search…may the odds be ever in your favor.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, studentliving,georgetown.edu

The Stages Of A Freshman’s Weight Gain

Banner - Freshman 15Spring break came and went very fast. Some of us went to help the less fortunate in areas like Mississippi and Honduras. The rest of us did not. Instead of making a decent contribution to civilization, many of us at 4E (and Georgetown in general) went to places that were farther and much more dangerous, and then partook in ~debauchery~ once we got there. By that, I mean we either went home or to tropical beaches. The people in ABP and Global Brigades may have followed the message of the Gospel, but we followed the message of Parks and Recreation:

While thinking of your friends on service trips during spring break, you might have begun to think about something else while you relaxed on the beach: your increase in weight since coming to college. For some, being with other people really magnifies such thoughts and propels them to assess their physical state. In order to document this common occurrence for college students, here 4E has created a general timeline of how you gain weight during your freshman year:

  1. Late August: It’s time for move-in day! You’ve been running/swimming/lifting/starving all summer long. You’ve done it all for the idea of going into college in pristine physical shape. In your eyes, you’re a workout warrior; nothing can bring you down now! 
  2. NSO to mid-September: You’ve been having the time of your life for the first few weeks. Classes have not really picked up speed yet, and you’re going out two, three or maybe even four nights per week. Then there are EPI QUESADILLAS and, even better, CHICKEN FINGER THURSDAY. You know that you can’t keep this up forever, but it’s the beginning of college! You’ve been keeping up with exercising and haven’t noticed any physical changes yet, so you figure you’re in the clear.
  3. Late September to Homecoming: It’s midterm season, and classes are dragging you down. You stay in a few nights focus on your studies and skip a few parties. However, this also comes at a price: you can only work for so long before making a run to Vittles or Epi. And this is where the downfall beings. By the time Homecoming rolls around, these food runs are part of your daily routine. You are also confident in your ability to down fifteen chicken fingers for lunch. But hey, don’t sweat it…you’ve got plenty of time to work out, even if the last few weeks of midterms have caused you to miss a few days. 
  4. Homecoming to Halloween: Madness. Absolute madness. You’re just finishing up midterms, and the excitement on campus is building due to the closeness of Halloweekend. You’re being super productive, and you don’t even think about your runs to Corp storefronts or Epi. You finish all your work before the big weekend, so you’re super excited to eat and drink everything whatever comes your way this weekend. But wait! Your Flex Dollars run out, and then you realize that you are not only gaining weight, but also losing money. Before you know it, you have to dip into your beloved Debit Dollars in order to satisfy your desires those wild nights. 
  5. Morning after Halloween to Thanksgiving: You dressed up as a Goth person for Halloween and wore black clothes and black makeup. However, you wake up with also a black tongue. Did you ingest some of your makeup out of desperate, drunken hunger? No, because that’s gross. Luckily, you begin to recall a hazy memory of going to Vittles and eating an Oreo ice cream sandwich…..after eating a chicken quesadilla with extra guac AND extra bacon (a recent revelation). The post-Halloween lull sets in, and staying in becomes a regular occurrence. But fear not! You find solace in food. At this point, you are sure that you are out of shape and are gaining weight. Instead of working out, you are now porking out.
  6. Thanksgiving to Christmas: After stuffing your body to the point where you hate everything about yourself, you return to campus for a surprise: warm weather’s back! It’s in the 60s and you see this an opportunity to bring the shorts back out. You do notice, however, that they feel a bit…tight, and the pockets appear to be…stretched. You are beginning to accept that your original plan to stay in shape is failing, and you make it your goal to get back into decent shape over break. 
  7. Christmas break to mid January: Does this plan work? Of course not. Christmas break was like Thanksgiving, except it continued for three weeks. Sitting on a couch while watching four seasons of SVU (five times through) is never good. You also indulge with your friends from home, which kind of(?) makes it okay. You start going out after basketball games, and while your pants feel tight, they don’t seem to be getting any tighter! You take this as a good sign, and keep doing what you’re doing.
  8. Mid-January to Spring Break: Long weekends, Valentine’s Day, and midterms all take their respective tolls on you. You go out to eat more, but you can still squeeze into your pants for formal. You discover other items at Epi, such as the buffet and the 1984, that satisfy your cuisine needs. In the week before spring break, your beloved Vittles ice cream sandwiches are the only things keeping you going during those late nights in Lau and MSB.
  9. Spring Break: Assuming you are not on a service trip, you’re living it up either at home or a hotel. No words necessary; spring break is not good for weight loss and physical fitness. You bring running clothes to Florida, but only run to the store for ice cream. The rest of your days are spent watching TV, going to the beach, and overall throwing up having a good time raging relaxing. You generally ignore how much you consume during this week.
  10. Post-Spring-Break-Mortem: You feel awful about yourself because you ate and drank things that you shouldn’t have consumed. Does this make you improve your dietary habits? You already know the answer. It’s Sunday morning before classes resume. Leo’s is closed, and you’re HUNGRY. None of your friends respond to your invitation to eat, so you decide to go to either Wisey’s or Booey’s alone. Next thing you know, you’re at Good Stuff before 12 PM with a burger and shake in your hands, and you’re eating alone at a table. Instead of just getting a Snapple or an ice cream sandwich at Vittles, you now polish off a pint of Häagen-Dazs AND a quart of milk in one night. You finally realize that you have officially transformed from a workout warrior to a complete couch potato.

If you identify with these stages, you’re not alone! Some view gaining weight as an unavoidable part of college. Don’t sweat the food runs; everyone does them at some point. My prediction for the future? Going to Good Stuff alone is probably as low as you can go, so you should be in the clear. Just keep doing whatever you’re doing because you have all summer to get in shape. In the meantime, remember that once Georgetown Day comes…nothing’s going to hold you back.

Photos/gifs: giphy.com, women2.com, athleticx.net

Georgetown’s Secret Freshmen Dorm

Banner - Freshman DormAs a Blue & Gray tour guide took me on a tour of Georgetown’s campus during my junior year of high school, she told me and the tour group that Georgetown had four freshman dorms that will determine the quality of your social life: New South, VCW, Harbin and Darnall. Just those four.  As a result, I was quite surprised when I received news that I was assigned to a different dorm: Village C East. As you can imagine, my reaction was one of shock:

shock

Sure enough, I found out that there was indeed a secret (but actually not-so-secret) dorm. I’m not alone in my shock; I tell people where I live and most of them respond with the same question: Where? I had no idea of what to expect when I showed up on move-in day. It turns out that VCE is quite similar to VCW (minus the two-winged design). Private bathrooms, straight hallways, and sewage flooding your room are some of the wonderful things to look forward to in VCE.

excellent

After living here for about five months now, I can release my impartial rundown of VCE’s famed freshmen floors:

  1. VCE 8: In terms of VCE, it is safe to say that this is the best floor. Everyone gets along well and generally likes to have a good time. Residents can be seen hanging out in the common room on a regular basis and are always friendly. An inflatable penguin currently stands in the hallway. As you’ll see later, the eighth floor may be viewed as the “oasis” of VCE.
  2. VCE 9: Viewed by some as a floor of mystery, the ninth floor is quite similar to the eighth floor since it is the same size and has an RA on the floor. However, the ninth floor residents do not seem as rambunctious as the eighth floor’s residents, and thus draw less attention. Their common room, however, may catch one’s eye due to the interesting posters that adorn its walls.
  3. VCE 10: Here we are at last: land of the free and home of the — well, me. The tenth floor is probably the smallest freshman floor on campus: it includes six rooms, ten residents, one chaplain, and a surprisingly nice common room. We share the RA with the ninth floor, which is probably a good thing because he has no reason to come up to our floor (definitely nothing ~bad~ happening). One of the most fun parts is that someone from a lower floor left a mini trampoline in our common room because its vaulted ceilings provide enough space for one to jump on it. I may or may not use it on a regular basis:trampolineFor all the Harry Potter fans, my room may be considered the “Gryffindor Tower” of campus because the corner spot of the top floor gives me an excellent view of Arlington, the Potomac River, and some of the monuments. Due to its small size and the fact that not many people venture there, the tenth floor has been called “the wasteland” by many VCE and non-VCE freshmen (which is why VCE 8 stands as the oasis). It looks something like this:

tumbleweed

Although not all VCEers enjoy their experience, some freshmen, particularly those on the eighth floor, rave about their VCExperience. Overall, VCE has given me quite an interesting experience, and I’ll definitely have stories to tell for the rest of my life.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, newstudent.thehoya.com, gifling.com

Top Blog Articles of 2015: Editors’ Picks

UntitledHere at The Fourth Edition, we’ve had a great year.  Before we start bloggin’ 2016 away, we’d like to take a little trip down memory lane with a list of our top posts of 2015.  We’ve covered everything from the Pope’s visit this past fall to helping freshmen find their way to Brown House, and everything in-between.  Thank you to everyone for a great year, and without further ado here are our editors’ top picks:

  1. “Secret Societies at Georgetown: An Expose”:  We brought this news to you first!  Secret societies are taking over Georgetown in the masses, and they’re doing everything from stealing staples to forming avocado cults.
  2. “A Freshman’s Guide to Getting in Parties”: Navigating parties as a freshman is a challenging task.  The upperclassmen are less than thrilled to host your entire New South floor in their tiny townhouse, and you’re more than excited to sip on jungle juice in their dingy basements.
  3. “If You Lead a Freshman to Brown House…”: To the current occupants of Brown House, we’re sorry.  While it was inevitable that the freshman class would their find their way to your humble abode, we apologize for the role we may have played in accelerating this process.
  4. “How 4E Lost it”: It seems like blogs across campus are writing about losing a lot of things this semester!  What exactly is “it?”  Well, you’ll just have to watch to find out.
  5. “Five Types of People Running for GUSA Senate”: Let’s be real, you know a person who fits each description exactly.  Note: You may want to re-read this article to prep for the upcoming GUSA presidential elections next semester!
  6. “Friday Fixat10s: The Soundtrack to Your First Freshman Crawl”: Whether you cried to this playlist or opted to take a cheerier trip down memory lane with a #tbt pre-game, these tracks definitely brought back a lot of memories.  Memories which were mostly filled with over-crowded Village B apartments and warm Natty…
  7. “It Happens Here”: Following the publications of the stories of Willa Murphy and Olivia Hinerfeld, 4E shared a photo series detailing experiences of several survivors of sexual assault at Georgetown.  This piece was a demonstration of solidarity with all victims of sexual assault across the Hilltop.

As you can tell, 2015 was an incredible year.  Thank you to all of our readers, and here’s to an even better year of blogging in 2016!

Photos/Gifs: capytech.com, buzzfeed.com, giphy.com