The Five Stages of Studying for Finals

Congratulations! You just finished classes for the spring semester. You’re feeling pretty relieved and successful. But now the real fun begins: FINALS. In case you’ve forgotten since December what this season feels like, here are the five stages of studying for finals.

  1. You look at the calendar. You have time. Papers aren’t due for a week, and you don’t have an exam tomorrow. You can relax a bit.
  2. ~Five minutes later~ you’re running to Lau, with every book you own stuffed in your backpack, trying to decide whether or not you have time to stop at Midnight, because you just realized how much work needs to go into not failing out  passing all the exams and papers you feel breathing down your neck.
  3. Day Four. No wait is it Day Three? Days no longer exist; just due dates. Morale is low. You just spent 2 hours procrastinating at Leo’s and it wasn’t even Chicken Finger Thursday. Next thing you know, you wind up in the middle of the stacks on Lau 5 without a cubicle or any progress on those three papers due in two days.
  4. Then suddenly, you hit your stride. One sentence after another appears in your Word document, decades of history are memorized like Kendrick’s new lyrics and you think maybe, just maybe, you’ll survive finals week and even do well pass.
  5. You show up to your final exam wearing whatever you slept in two nights ago, barely able to keep your eyes open and thinking you might not make it. But then you manage to stay awake for a whole two hours and finish your last final. You leave the ICC nearly in tears and contemplate falling asleep in the middle of Red Square. But who cares, you’re finished! Now all you have to do is pack.

Good luck, and may the odds be ever in your favor!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, nfo.georgetown.edu

GTFO: Hidden Study Spots, Finals Edition

As you begin to recover from the aftermath of Georgetown Day, we regret to inform that it’s officially Finals Season. And if you can’t stand the thought of spending the next two weeks studying in hell Lau, fear not: we here at 4E have got you covered with some of the best hidden study spots on this side of the Potomac.

1.  The Library of Congress

Located in the heart of D.C., the Library of Congress is the perfect place to reenact scenes from National Treasure get some serious and productive studying done! Visiting the Library of Congress is a great opportunity to try to finally figure out the whole GUTS bus/Metro system, get frustrated after three minutes, and resort to calling an Uber like you always do.  Once you get there, be sure to blatantly ignore the library rules and take plenty of pictures of your beautiful surroundings- you can send some to your parents as proof that your college experience also involves some non-Burnetts-related activities !

4E Fun Fact: My own Library of Congress card has the unique distinction of being the only picture of me in existence that is worse than the one on my GoCard.

Actual footage of a Georgetown student Snapchatting his friends at the LoC.

2. The Aisles of Vital Vittles

If you’re too lazy to venture more than five minutes from campus looking for something a little closer to your Hilltop home, there are still plenty of options. One of Georgetown’s best study spots is located in the aisles of Vittles. This is exactly what it sounds like: just grab your backpack, go sit on the floor of the campus grocery store and get to work! Trust us, all the cool kids are doing it. As you study, you can enjoy the questioning stares of your fellow Hoyas while munching on one of the snacks you settled for because they were inexplicably out of your top five snack food choices.

4E Bonus Tip: If you’re feeling really adventurous, go study in the lone aisle of Snaxa.

3. VCE

Home to sophomores who skipped every “What’s a Hoya?” and freshmen who weren’t told this was even an option during their GAAP weekend, Village C East is truly a hidden treasure. Frequently forgotten and perpetually overlooked in favor of its better-known sibling to the west, VCE is basically the Jeb Bush of Georgetown dormitories. So while it may be “low-energy,” sometimes that’s exactly what you need after another wasted night spent in the distraction-filled mosh pit known as Lau 2 during finals. I personally recommend grabbing a spot at the tables in the laundry room, mostly because it reminds me of a simpler time, during freshman year, when I actually did my laundry on a regular basis instead of wearing the same pair of jeans for a week straight and hoping no one notices.

Remember when people were worried about him becoming president? We were so young…

4. The ICC Bathrooms

We’ve all been there: your professor assigns you a “collaborative final project” and everyone in your group is a total stranger. You’re probably freaking out- group projects are soooo awkward! But luckily, we here at 4E have found a quick fix to your problem: the ICC bathrooms. Spending time in uncomfortably-close physical proximity is a surefire way to get to know each other. And what better place to build this camaraderie than in the inexplicably-tiny restrooms of the Edward B. Bunn S.J. Intercultural Center? Just think of all the built-in conversation starters that will help break the ice: “Why are we working in a bathroom?” “This is so weird”- you’re sure to be best friends in no time! And best of all, you won’t have any of that pesky “reliable wifi access” to distract you from the task at hand.

4E Bonus Tip: If you’re really looking to get close with your peers, head on over to the White-Gravenor bathrooms, which have the cool added bonus of being extremely small and extremely old.

5. John Kerry’s House

Now that the Secret Service agents outside of his house are gone, this basically means we all have an open invitation to go hang out with Johnny K whenever we want. Though I personally have never actually been inside his home, I’m assuming it’s extremely classy (John Kerry is pretty much as #bougie as it gets- here’s a picture of a him on a yacht with JFK) and it also probably has pretty decent wifi, because we all know how much former Secretaries of State like to send emails!

Disclaimer: Yes, I know that joke was terrible, but I got yelled at for writing too many articles roasting Trump, so just consider this my attempt at being bipartisan). Additionally, the Kerrster can totally help you study for your IR final, and will almost-definitely be down to walk across the street with you for a Wingo’s study break

*Side Note: If anyone ever actually sees John Kerry at Wingo’s, please alert me immediately.

The Internet was made for moments like this.

So there you have it- five ways to shake up your study routine this finals season. Best of luck from all of us here at 4E, and please remember to keep procrastinating by reading our articles!

Photo source: jfklibrary.org; Gif source: giphy.com 

Guide to Laufits

It’s officially midterm season, which means that there’s a good chance you’re procrastinating by reading this article somewhere in Lau. And if you’re searching for some more ways to avoid doing work, look no further: here’s a refresher on the five types of “Laufits” most frequently seen in everyone’s favorite architectural monstrosity.

1. The “Kendall Jenner”

The basic look: Heels. A “going out” top. Jeans that cost more than your meal plan. Something cool like a hat or red lipstick that you definitely couldn’t pull off if you tried.

When they’re not busy making you feel bad about the fact that you noticeably haven’t washed your hair in several days, the owner of this outfit can usually be found making the awkward walk from the elevators to Midnight look like a graceful strut down a fashion week runway. There’s a good chance that you follow them on Instagram. There’s a better chance that they do not follow you back.

2. The “Intern”

The basic look: J. Crew. Ann Taylor. Brooks Brothers. A Capitol Hill ID badge that they are inexplicably still wearing at 11 p.m. on a Wednesday in the middle of a college library.

You can usually find the wearer of this outfit carefully crafting their next insightful and completely necessary political post on Facebook or mapping out the logistics of their future GUSA presidential campaign two years ahead of time. There’s a good chance you follow them on LinkedIn. There’s a better chance that they were the ones who requested to follow you.

3. The “Self-Proclaimed Gym Rat”

The basic look: Neon running shoes. A headband. A Fitbit. Something from Lululemon. A yoga mat casually tucked under their arm. A conspicuous lack of actual sweat on any of these items.

Those who rock the standard “SPGR” attire are usually found loitering in Midnight. They may be found loudly commenting on how their favorite flavor of Vitamin Water Zero and/or Cliff Bar is out of stock while openly inquiring as to why they aren’t allowed to use the Thompson Center, or insisting that they could have been a varsity walk-on “if they tried.” There’s a good chance that you also just saw them take the elevator instead of the stairs to get to Lau 2 in the first place.

4. The “Guy Who Was at Jersey Night Until He Remembered He Had a Paper Due at 9 A.M.”

The Basic Look: Hair Gel. Pit Stains. An Allen Iverson/Alonzo Mourning/Patrick Ewing jersey. A New Jersey accent. An ID from a state that is not New Jersey.

Unlike the “Self-Proclaimed Gym Rat,” the person wearing this outfit is definitely actually sweating. And yelling. And attempting to simultaneously type and sober up, but not doing a very good job at either. This stylish individual is likely to be found taking way too long to figure out what they want from the vending machine and saying some variation of “Dude, seriously it was so lit, you gotta go next week” to every other person who walks by.

5. The “Lau 5”

The basic look: A sweatshirt. A pair of sweatpants, but not the “cute and cozy” kind that are moderately acceptable to wear in public. A baseball cap. Uggs, Crocs, or some combination of the two.

(Disclaimer: this is not an exaggeration. I once saw an actual human being wearing an Ugg on one foot and a Croc on the other on Lau 5 at 2 a.m. during finals week and it was one of the scariest things I have ever seen in my entire life. Please let me know if you have any potential information regarding this individual’s whereabouts because I want to make sure they’re alright.)

The true devotees of the classic “Lau 5” aesthetic are, of course, most frequently found in their natural habitat on the top floor. But rumor has it that if you wait patiently until the early hours of the morning, you can see them briefly emerge near that weird coffee vending machine on Lau 2. Should you be so lucky as to witness this rare occurrence, be sure to remember the most basic rule of Lau-etiquette: never ask someone wearing the full-blown “Lau 5” Laufit “How’s it going?” You will only be met with a long, sad answer involving an unreliable TA, a “quizlet” mishap, and a copious amount of tears.

So there you have it: five of the most popular Laufits. Consider what your Laufit says about you the next time you head on over to see if there are any more lemon poppy seed muffins left at Midnight write that big paper well ahead of the deadline! 

Gif source: giphy.com, library.georgetown.edu

President-Elect Donald Trump’s Cabinet Picks Celebrity Apprentice Version

trump cabinetIt has been a little over a month since our nation elected our 45th president, and slowly but surely, our country is accepting the results. President-elect Trump has just about finalized his Cabinet, leaving many Americans equally disillusioned. With that being said, I am not here to comment on politics or on the choices our President-Elect has made, but rather, to offer my opinions on who he should have appointed to Cabinet positions from his wildly successful television series, The Celebrity Apprentice. I whole-heartedly believe these “celebrities” could do the job better than anyone our future president could nominate.

Education Secretary: Lil Jon

Who could be a better Education Secretary than Lil Jon? With a high school education under his belt and a grasp on the English language so strong he was able to come up with the party-shattering lyrics:

“Fire up that loud
Another round of shots

Turn down for what?” (repeat 5x)

This man clearly knows what a good education is all about. All jokes aside, he could do wonders for schools’ fine arts programs.

Secretary of Health and Human Services: Lisa Rinna

The clear pick of all former cast mates is Lisa Rinna. This woman knows what she is talking about in regards to surgeries. She is an admitted fan of Botox and can talk about lip injections more knowledgeably than a plastic surgeon.

Secretary of Transportation: Khloe Kardashian

I would like to start off by saying the Kardashians are practically America’s royalty, so obviously one of them needs to be in our government. Khloé should be a go-to pick for Trump, considering she knows a thing or two about expensive cars and private jets.

Secretary of Treasury: Teresa Giudice

Another no-brainer: why wouldn’t we want Teresa Giudice in charge of the Treasury? She went to jail and learned her lesson about fraud and tax evasion, so who better than to manage our nation’s wealth? If anyone knows anything about the importance of healthy finances, it is this woman.

Secretary of Defense: Piers Morgan

Have we all seen Piers Morgan’s Twitter attacks on Chrissy Teigen? I mean honestly I would not want to oppose this guy. All it will take is 140 characters for him to bring down Putin.

Administrator of Environmental Protection Agency: Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi

Similar to Teresa Giudice, I think Snooki would be an excellent addition to our nation’s Cabinet considering she has learned from experience. After PETA put Snooki on blast for dyeing her dog purple, I truly believe she is a reformed woman and would do our nation well by serving as Administrator of Environmental Protection Agency.

Administrator of Small Business Administration: Stephen Baldwin

As the not as famous Baldwin brother, Stephen knows what it is like to deal with “less.” Less fame, less fortune, less popularity. Therefore, who would be better-equipped than to deal with small businesses, who, let’s face it, cannot compare to corporations like Microsoft and Apple, than Stephen Baldwin?

Ambassador to the United Nations: Sharon Osbourne

The clear pick is Sharon Osbourne. She has a British accent, need I say more?

So who will be President-Elect Trump’s Secretary of State appointment? Your guess is as good as mine, but if we’re going by The Celebrity Apprentice cast, my vote would be for Kevin Jonas because, come on, who wouldn’t love a Jonas in the spotlight again?

Gifs: giphy.com

The Five Phases of Writing a Final Paper, as told by Melania Trump

melaniaWe’re sad to report that finals season is once again upon us, and the only thing that could make this worse is remembering that Donald Trump won the election. But here at 4E, we have decided to embrace reality and take these two terrifying things in stride by finding a way to combine them. With that in mind, here are the five stages of writing a final paper, as told by our future First Lady, Melania Trump.

Phase 1: Confidence

You stroll onto Lau 2 with your squad, feeling good and looking even better. You pick up your usual vanilla latte and lemon poppy-seed muffin from Midnight, snag a prime table near the vending machines, and you’re ready to crush this paper. You’ve totally got this.

Phase 2: Distraction

You’ve got plenty of time. This paper isn’t due for another ten hours. That’s like a week in college time. Before you start writing, you can definitely afford to spend five minutes stalking that guy from your French class on Facebook or searching for some fire memes to retweet.

Phase 3: Realization

Okay, so five minutes has somehow turned into four hours and all you’ve done is people-watch and take a Buzzfeed quiz to find out what Zoey 101 character you are. Time to get serious. You log on to Blackboard to look at the topic for the first time. Wait… What is this paper supposed to be about? It slowly dawns on you that this paper might not be as easy as you initially thought.

Phase 4: Desperation

Ok, it’s officially time to panic. What is going on? When did the professor ever talk about any of this? You are really regretting your decision to skip so many lectures in favor of waiting in line for a crepe at the farmer’s market. At the height of your anxiety, you seriously start to consider how serious this whole “no plagiarism” rule is. Will anyone really notice if you copy and paste your entire paper from Wikipedia?

Phase 5: Acceptance

There’s no more time for panicking. You’ve got an hour left, and if you type fast enough, you’re pretty sure you can still pull a solid B-. Don’t let the fact that you have no idea what is going on stop you! Just make things up! Literally say anything. If this election cycle has taught us one thing, it’s that you can blatantly lie and people will still believe you:

                                                       Example 1
                                                           Example 2
                                                        Example 3

So there you have it: the five phases of writing a research paper, as told by First Lady-elect Melania Trump. From all of us here at 4E, good luck with your finals and with the next four years.

Gifs: giphy.com

End of Year Freshman Fears

freshman fears

Happy study days! There are less than two weeks left of freshman year. It felt like only yesterday that I was trying to figure out what GUTS meant, how to pre-register and find my way around campus (okay the last one may have happened yesterday). But freshman year is almost over, and I have a few end of year freshman fears!

Getting lost isn’t cute anymore. Let’s face it, not knowing where the first floor of ICC was as a freshman is completely acceptable. But as a sophomore, not so much.

dylan o brien thomas the maze runner

I have to leave my beloved VCW. How am I supposed to roll out of bed twenty minutes before class in WGR and still make it on time? I’m sure going to miss waking up to the Jes Res fire alarm. Moving to VCE is going to be such a big change.

I’m going to miss my floor. It’s really comforting to know exactly who wakes you up in the middle of the night with their screaming.

FirstAndMonday anchorman loud steve carrell loud noises

Leo’s won’t change. 

stacy sarah paulson oh no american crime story the people v oj simpson

I have to choose a major. Next year I have to choose an acronym that could define the rest of my life ~G[C]ULP~ .

Joce sheldon breathe paper bag

But first I have to get through a few finals and memorize the map of the World.

her library campus studying struggles

Gifs: giphy.com, vomzi.com

How to Study and Make a Difference at the Same Time!

Cat Cafe

Need a place to study, but want to do a good deed at the same time? The on-campus project called “Making a Difference” is partnering with Crumbs and Whiskers in order to save more pets from facing life in shelters.  The coffee shop, located on O St., is giving a discount to Georgetown students ($22 pass for the whole day) so that you can enjoy some coffee, quality study time, and some furry friends to get you through finals!

In case you need a refresher on why cats are awesome, 4E is here to provide you with some quality gifs.

Here’s this one:  

And this one…

And of course this one…

So make a difference and visit Crumbs and Whiskers located on O St. next to Wingos (we know you know where that is).

Images: giphy.com, http://crumbsandwhiskers.com

Finals Flashback: Favorite Facebook Posts

 

Banner - Facebook Flashback

I’m about to drop the worst of the f-bombs: FINALS. Studying for these seemingly never-ending tests can be stressful and overwhelming, if not the worst part of the semester.

When I think about finals, I think about many other f-words: food (because who isn’t hungry 24/7 when studying), fun (of which I am deprived as I sit in a dimly lit Lau cubicle), and Facebook. If you want an F on your final, just open up Facebook, click on a friend’s page, and scroll down. Scroll way, way down. I’m talking pre-2010, when middle school us talked about being on Oovoo, complained about our daily lives, and felt the need to post on social media when we didn’t have any plans.

Thanks to some very low-key stalking kind volunteers, 4E has compiled a list of your favorite bloggers’ best Facebook moments from their better days:

catherine 1I was going to confront you about this, but looks like you already noticed.

courtney 1Were you just trying to prove that you went to school? Do you want an award or something for going?

jenna 1Major retweet. I, too, am overwhelmed by the fact that “groshery” stores have food, and for that very reason, want to leave America, where I hope “groshery” stores will not sell so much food.

keaton 2Actually, it’s funny regardless. And don’t hate on Miley.

dj 1I tried this several times to no avail. Do you have any further advice, because I really love magic circles?

kat 1Yes! Just microwave the battery for a few minutes and it should dry out really fast.

mike 1mike 2Just trying to keep any stalkers up to date on my exact whereabouts at all times.

keaton 1Sporty and fun! Gold medal in embarrassing Facebook posts.

sara 1Personally, I’m screwed for finals, but I feel the pain.

dj 2#blessed

catherine 2OMG did you get his autograph?!?

matt 1Heard the one on Lau 5 is quiet and never runs out of toilet paper!

 

Hope you enjoyed those blasts from the past! Now get back to work!

Photos: videostir.com, facebook.com

The 10 Gifs You Need This Finals Season

finalsfrustr

‘Tis the season for crying and complaining. Welcome to finals, the Georgetown version of a state school frat’s hell week. Teachers aren’t clear, assignments are ridiculous and there is a .9 percent chance that you actually have all of the notes to make that study guide. Before you grab your hammer and start beating a hole into the wall of Lau, take a deep breath. 4E has compiled a list of 10 gifs that are sure to express your current anger and frustration. You’re welcome.

1. When your teacher assigns a take home test that is 100% impossible.

what-do-you-want

2. When your final is not cumulative, but also low-key very cumulative.

maddeningly-unhelpful-johnny-depp-gif

3. When all of your pens are out of ink, you run out of paper in your legal pad or your computer dies and you have no charger.

Addison Crying

4. When people are happy and smiling and all you want to do is throw hot coffee in their faces.

bd631f00-386b-0132-40ff-0ebc4eccb42f

5. When someone complains about having “so much work” when in reality they have one final.

Chandler-Shutup-Friends

6. When you dedicate 3 hours to an essay and then you have to change everything you just wrote.

PageImage-506984-4195983-alistnyryanuglycry

7. When coffee isn’t helping you anymore. Why have you failed us caffeine?

anxiety

8. When all your friends finish finals and you are the only one left in Lau.

Alone-in-the-rain-GIF

9. When someone asks you to do something during finals.

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10. When you are #overit and it is still study days.

when-you-are-tired-of-explaining-something-over-and-over_666

See ya in Lau, baes. Don’t take it personally if I’m rude.

Photos/Gifs: http://awesomelytechie.com/; desperateandunrehearsed.wordpress.com; logspot.com; bustle.com; gifrific.com; hercampus.com; reactiongifs.com; http://gifsec.com/; tumblr.com; http://gifstumblr.com/; staticflickr.com

10 Signs You’re Done with Finals

summers-If it’s not, it’s so soon… You’ve reached the final stretch of Spring 2015 and thoughts of the beach, home cooked meals and high school friends are starting to taunt you. In case it hasn’t hit you yet, here’s 10 signs that you are done!

1. You’ve kissed Lau goodbye.

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2. Your dorm room/ apartment has turned into a maze of boxes that you’re not quite sure you’ll ever be able to escape.

3. You finally have the chance to relax on Healy beach.

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4. That deep, dark anger looming over you for the past week has been replaced with a rejuvenating sense of liberation as you throw away a semester’s worth of notes and assignments.

5. Your nightmares of terms, formulas and literature have been replaced by dreams of the beach and long car rides with friends back home windows down country blaring.

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6. The sunburn on your shoulders has arrived to remind you of the 4 months of freedom you’re about to enjoy.

7. You have a newly acquired love for Georgetown, the world and your parents as they approach campus to deal with all of your stuff and/or shoot you the text asking what groceries you’d like them to pick up.

8. You’ve been hit by the bittersweet realization that you’re a year closer to graduating, thus adulthood, thus retirement.

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9. You’ve shed a tear saying goodbye to friends who will no longer be just next door for awhile.

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10. It has crossed your mind that each meal you eat at Leo’s is one of your lasts for awhile.

CONGRATS HOYAS YOU MADE IT ANOTHER YEAR!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com; flxr