4E’s Thanksgiving Countdown

It doesn’t seem valid to get excited year after year about a holiday that in truth commemorates our subjugation of native peoples and destructive colonial ways, but let me tell you: I am excited for Thanksgiving break.

You may ask me, “What could be so exciting about five days in central New Jersey?” Well, first of all, New Jersey is the most underrated state. Second of all, a brief reprieve from midterms is exactly what I need to restore my sanity.

Please join me on a ~journey~ to cozy, fall-time feels. Whether you’re travelling home for Thanksgiving or not, these activities should allow you to start healing that part of your soul that a semester-long midterm season has sucked out of you.

First, play this song for maximum reading experience.

Day 1: Nov. 5

Divine your Thanksgiving horoscope. What’s in the stars for you this year? If you’re going home, will you finally hook up with your high school crush? Will you get taken to the hospital with an irreversible food coma? Only one way to find out…

Day 2: Nov. 6

Go vote. If you haven’t voted yet, please motivate yourself with the thought of Great-Grandma Pat’s wrath when you tell her you abused the right she fought so hard for back when they only showered like once a week or whatever. This way, when your family members start arguing at the dinner table, you’ll be able to validate the opinions you’ve honed in all of those SFS classes by proving that you’re an active participant in our democracy.

Day 3: Nov. 7

Plan out your plate. Everyone knows that going into the holiday meal without an attack plan is a fool’s errand. Use the below image to prevent future discomfort and maximize future deliciousness.

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Day 4: Nov. 8

Get the 411 on those crazy relatives you’re afraid to see. Call your mom. You should probably do this anyway, but for your own safety, ask her to give you an update about Aunt Linda’s “situation” so you’re not blindsided on the big day.

Day 5: Nov. 9

Start filling up your shopping carts. Two weeks before Black Friday, go against your better judgment and let those natural consumer instincts run wild. I’ve never actually shopped on Black Friday before, but I like to imagine that filling up online shopping carts is just as good.

Day 6: Nov. 10

Check out those fall colors. Get out of your musty apartment for once and take a walk somewhere in the city — it’s actually very beautiful here and we tend to take that for granted too often.

Day 7: Nov. 11

It’s cuffing season. Have you found your big/little spoon yet? It’s getting pretty chilly outside; you should probably get on that.

Day 8: Nov. 12

Convince your dad that a turducken is a bad idea. Tell him the hard truth: 55 is too old to spice things up, especially with the multi-meat equivalent of the Human Centipede. Like him, sometimes oldies are goodies — no more of this millennial nonsense.

Day 9: Nov. 13

Start packing. I’m serious. If you do it this far in advance, you’ll avoid that last-minute packing nightmare in which you somehow only bring home booty shorts, a turtleneck and over-the-knee boots.

Day 10: Nov. 14

Do something ~cute~ with your friends. Make a pie. Drink some chai. Discuss the best moisturizing strategies for preventing dry winter skin (non-spon but pls check out this account @dewydudes). Put aside homework for a sec and appreciate the value of good, wholesome fun.

Day 11: Nov. 15

Come up with a fake major to get your grandparents off your back. They don’t understand that you’re not wasting their money; you’re just finding yourself. So, pose as a Future Government Official/Investment Person to get out of hot water with the old folks.

Day 12: Nov. 16

Learn how to play football (?). I’m very thankful that my family does not maintain this tradition, but if yours does, it’s probably time to tighten up that spiral. Who knows, maybe you’ll get concussed and won’t have to take any more exams!

Bradley Cooper in “A Star is Born,” 2018 (colorized).

Day 13: Nov. 17

Thank your roommate(s). Whether you’re best friends or mere living partners, be grateful to this person for putting up with you. This way, your inability to wash dishes and sexiling habits won’t weigh heavy on your conscience over the break.

Day 14: Nov. 18

Friendsgiving! Get together with all of your friends for one last hurrah before going your separate ways. A group dinner feat. Leo’s turkey and mashed potatoes never looked so cute.

Day 15: Nov. 19

Watch the twurkey dance. This is a good distraction that will get you hype for the holiday.

Day 16: Nov. 20

What? Sorry. I’m already gone. If possible, remove yourself mentally and/or physically from the Georgetown environment. This could be done in the form of a really long nap, ripping up a blue book — you name it.

Hoya Saxa! I’m grateful for you <3

Sources: festival-collection.com, giphy.com, youtube.com, people.com

The Five Stages of Being Sick at Georgetown

If you haven’t spent these past weeks drowning in used tissues and Advil, this Hoya desperately wants to know your secret.  Yes! You heard that barely concealed coughing fit from the back of your crowded microeconomics lecture correctly, the Georgetown Plague™ is upon us.

While we may be living in a petri dish, at least the relatability of this struggle can be exploited by your friends at 4E. Here are the five stages of being sick on the Hilltop:

1. Attempting home remedy

Throat coat?  Check. Advil?  Check. Suddenly wishing you were pre-med?  Check. All of the Aspirin that you packed from home might be able to save you, right?  Right??

Although copious amounts of tea and Tylenol can’t stop your impending doom, it won’t stop you from trying! 

2. Taking a trip to the Student Health Center

After your own medical knowledge fails, surely Georgetown, the fine institution you are paying your life savings to attend, will be able to rescue you from yourself!  A quick 30-minute phone call later, you’ve booked an appointment to see a doctor… next Thursday.

3. Accepting your fate

It’s true!  Sometimes you need to be sick in order to appreciate being well — or, at least, that’s what you tell yourself to feel better! Your roommate has to inevitably put up with 4 a.m. coughing fits, and you have to fight through that 9 a.m. lecture while putting up with dirty looks from students and professors alike.

Apparently, being sick is a natural part of life. Just one that no one wants to experience.

4. Freedom

The long journey comes to an end. Alas now, you have no more excuses for procrastinating your midterm paper!

The sudden rebirth you feel is accompanied by a newfound appreciation for health, along with promises to work out at Yates every day and stop eating Chick-Fil-A every night.

 

5. Repetition

That’s right folks, your already-weakened immune system will inevitably fail you again!  The close quarters of dorm life and crowded Vil A rooftops are breeding grounds for contamination.  

But fear not!  Because if you can survive the Georgetown Plague™, you can easily survive anything the Hilltop throws your way.

From all of us here at 4E, get well soon!

Sources: giphy.com, choicechiropractic.net

4E’s Fall Fashion Preview 2016

Banner - Fall FashionWe at The Fourth Edition take our look quite seriously. As I’m sure you saw, The Hoya released it’s Fall Fashion preview November 4th. As we were so inspired by The Hoya‘s theme of “Forever Young,” we pulled a copy cat move; not “Forever Young” but “Forever Free to Be Me.” Check it out:

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Meet our models.

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Sarah Reuter, Smolder Queen
Laura Bell, hipster Elle Woods
Laura Bell, Hipster Elle Woods
Caroline Bucca, stargazer
Caroline Bucca, Stargazer
Joseph O'Reilly, fuzzy wuzzy
Joseph O’Reilly, Fuzzy Wuzzy
Charles Fritz, The Lone Ranger
Charles Fritz, The Lone Ranger
Meg Lizza, Editor Extraordinaire
Meg Lizza, Executive Editor Extraordinaire

Reuter, our resident fortune teller, correctly predicted that 2016 would conclude looking eerily like 1994. Here’s her take on recycling fashion trends.

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O’Reilly, Fritz, and Bucca took a natural approach to our shoot.

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Yeezy? You frontin’? What?

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Safari on campus: Searching for the chill.

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Update: Chill located.

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Peace & Blessings.

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Please stop scrolling.

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Told you.

Photos: Alessandra Puccio, mashable.com

8 Steps to Aggressively Embrace the Fall Season

8 Steps to Fall

As we find ourselves in the midst of fall, it’s extremely hard to contain the excitement. Show everyone you love the fall season by following these 8 easy steps! Because 4E freaking loves the fall.

1. Gather leaves

No one will believe you love fall unless you show them! Grab some leaves from the ground, shove them in your backpack, and sprinkle them around your classrooms and residential halls to spread the fall love.

2. Chug a pumpkin spice latte and carry another around everywhere

Fall is never complete without letting everyone know you are obsessed with a mediocre drink! Also, take a pro tip from us: spill a little of your pumpkin spice latte on your shirt so people will ask about it! When they do, just remember to flash a big smile and say “Haha! Oh, it must be my pumpkin spice latte! It’s gotta be fall, AM I RIGHT?!” They’ll love it!

3. Clutter your every source of social media with pumpkin patch pictures

tumblr_inline_ne6rx2hAi11qzj4kc Instagram? Facebook? A text to your grandma? All of the above! And don’t forget to print a ton and hand them out to your friends so they know you LOVE pumpkins.

4. Bombard your refrigerator with apple cider

You’re not super into fall season if you don’t drink at least 30 gallons of apple cider! I always drink mine in a pumpkin-inspired “I LOVE FALL” mug! It always pulls everything together.

5. Bundle up!

If it’s not a Snuggie, make sure to wear a scarf, sweater, and brown boots EVERY DAY! Even if you get tired of it, make sure to stick to these items until the end of fall!

6. Pick a ton of apples and tell everyone about the experience

 All your buddies should know that you are jazzed about apple picking –  it’s all part of the seasonal festivities!

7. Call it ~autumn~

 Autumn sounds super fancy, so people will definitely be able to tell you appreciate it. You can be just like this girl, who doesn’t care that a leaf has fallen on her face!

8. Sit in a pile of leaves for a couple of hours 

 In my experience, people have approached me with some concerns as to how long I’ve admired the leaves. Don’t worry about these people – they probably prefer summer, or something crazy like that!

The fall season is only a limited amount of time, so aggressively enjoy it while you can!

Images: giphy.com, http://bit.ly/2dBmyGl

GTFO: Pumpkin Patch

GTFOHave midterms been bring you down recently? If so, you’re not alone. If you need something to look forward to in order to get you through the next few weeks, just remember Halloween is right around the corner! And, Halloween means FUN FALL THINGS.

fall

If you’re looking to “Get The Frick Off campus”, what better than a haunted hay ride and corn maze to get you in the spirit. Cox Farms in Virginia is in the middle of their Fields of Fear. It runs every Friday and Saturday night through November 1. It’s not too late. Check out all the details here.

You might be wondering, what does fields of fear entail exactly? Just how scary is it really? Luckily for you all, I’m a senior who likes to GTFO, so let me tell you all about it.

PART 1: The haunted corn maze

Corn mazes are really fun, but they’re even better when paid actors in costume are chasing you right? In the haunted corn maze you can expect monsters, zombies, axe murders and creepy dolls all over the place. What’s not to love?

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PART 2: The zombie hayride

In this part of fields of fear you get to pile into a tracker and go on a nice ride around the field. It starts off as a lovely bonding experience for you and your fields, but then quickly takes a turn for the scary when zombies escape from their cages and start chasing you. They even reach into the tracker and grab you.

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Booo!

PART 3: The Woods

If you thought the last two sounded scary, prepare yourself for the haunted woods. It is pitch black and there are a lot of people in bear suits. The entire experience ends with men chasing you with chain saws, yes they will run after you.

After experiences all three terrifying attractions at fields of fear, you can relax, buy some apple cider donuts and some hot cider and sit around the fire pit. There is even a dance floor if you feel the need to boogie. Don’t forget to buy some pumpkins on the way out!

There will be fall, there will be friends and there will be fun: Happy GTFO

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Photos: giphy.com, Sydney Bolling/The Hoya

The Official 2015 GU Pumpkin Spice Guide


Pumpkin Spice EverythingAutumn is officially upon us, and we all know what that means: Leaves are falling, Halloween is approaching and, most importantly, ravenous people want their pumpkins… and they want them now.

October is a pumpkin spice world, and we are all just living in it.

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Here at 4E, we get it. Biddies, we understand your need for all things pumpkin, and we’re here to help. That’s why we used all of our journalistic/investigatory skills to put together this map for you. It contains all of the pumpkin food and beverage locations on (and near) Georgetown’s campus, so you can get your pumpkin fix wherever you are, whenever you need it. You’re welcome PSL fiends, you’re welcome:
Georgetown Pumpkn Spice Map

But we wouldn’t leave you hanging with just this random map! Here’s a guide to all the locations indicated above, complete with their pumpkin-flavored menu items and prices.

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1. SAXBYS – This is for the pumpkin spice connoisseur in your friend group.  SAXBYS offers pumpkin spice chai (Medium $4.45), pumpkin spice smoothies (Medium $4.50) and pumpkin spice lattes (Medium $4.44), all made in-house with their natural pumpkin spice mix. That’s right: No sugary syrups here. Just the real deal. 4E Pumpkin Spice Rating: 4/5 pumpkins.

hero-pumpkin-152. Einstein Bros Bagels – It doesn’t take an actual Einstein to know that these folks have their pumpkin game on fleek. Fresh-baked pumpkin bagels with pumpkin schmear, pumpkin-spiced lattes and pumpkin muffins, all for a simple meal swipe that you weren’t going to use anyway! The best bang for your pumpkin-craving buck! 4E Pumpkin Spice Rating: 4/5 pumpkins.

3. Wisey’s – At the time of this writing, there were no pumpkin spice items at Wisey’s. However, I was assured by an employee that pumpkins would soon be coming. I don’t really know what to say to that. Go eat a Hot Chick while watching It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown and call it a day. 4E Pumpkin Spice Rating: 1/5 pumpkins.

4. The Tombs – Pumpkin cheesecake. $8. It’s really good. That’s all I have to say about that. 4E Pumpkin Spice Rating: 2.5/5 pumpkins.

5. Corp Coffee Locations (Midnight MUG, MUG, UG) – I’m pretty sure Gandhi once said, “If you want a good PSL, sometimes you need to think creatively.” That’s what you need to do at these Corp coffee spots. The pumpkin is there, but it isn’t blatantly advertised as such. Our suggestion: Order a 2% medium latte with flavor shots of pumpkin spice and vanilla ($4.20). 4E Pumpkin Spice Rating: 3/5 pumpkins.

6. Bulldog Tavern – Attention all you boozy 21+ SWUGs: The Tavern is ready for you. As part of their Seasonal Fall Cocktails list, they’ve prepared a delicious pumpkin spice martini ($8.99) that will make even the most basic of pumpkin addicts squeal in delight. Made with spiced pumpkin vodka and topped with whipped cream, nutmeg and cinnamon, this creation is ready to get you drunk on autumn – and just flat out drunk in general. 4E Pumpkin Spice Rating: 3/5 pumpkins.

7. Leo’s – Even O’Donovan’s on the Waterfront is hopping on the pumpkin spice train. Try their pumpkin spice loaf to make the most out of those meal swipes! 4E Pumpkin Spice Rating: 2/5 pumpkins.

IMG_09518. Vital Vittles – If you are looking for your pumpkin candy fix, look no further than Aisle 3A at Vittles, where you can find the Capital Candy Jar’s Pumpkin Pretzel Rods ($3.84) and Pumpkin Candy Coated Oreos ($3.29). They’re even covered in little leaf sprinkles! So. Adorable. *SWOON* 4E Pumpkin Spice Rating: 3/5 pumpkins.

FullSizeRender9. Cosi – Look, everyone. Cosi knows that you’re a hipster and you like ~trying new foods~ and experimenting with flavors. That’s why they didn’t just settle for serving PSLs to the masses (which they do sell, $3.99 for a Medium). Instead, Cosi dreamed bigger and decided to make your pumpkin spice even spicier. How spicy, you ask? Chipotle Pumpkin Soup spicy. It’s like bagged butternut squash soup gone rogue. $4.59 for a Medium bowl. Try it if you’re feeling zesty. 4E Pumpkin Spice Rating: 4/5 pumpkins.

10: Epi – Epi totally pulled a Wisey’s and told me they had “no pumpkin items stocked yet.” However, I was assured that pumpkins would make an appearance – maybe in the form of pie? – in the coming weeks. Again, I’m not sure what to do with this information. Stay tuned. Get a quesadilla in the meantime. 4E Pumpkin Spice Rating: 1/5 pumpkins.

11. Starbucks – Starbucks, you just get it. You understand the inner basic-ness of your customer base. You understand the only things frothier than your PSLs are the foaming mouths of your thirsty Georgetown customers. That’s why you have everything for the pumpkin-craving consumer: Pumpkin Spice Frappuccinos (Grande – $4.15), Pumpkin Spice Espresso Drinks (Grande – $4.15), Pumpkin Muffins, Pumpkin Cookies, Pumpkin Loaf and Pumpkin Scones (All $2.45). You even have VIA Instant Pumpkin Spice Latte 4-Packs, for those of us who want to take pumpkin home for later ($6.95). So, thanks, Starbucks. Keep doing pumpkins and keep doing you. 4E Pumpkin Spice Rating: 5/5 pumpkins.

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Great. Glad we’re all on the same pumpkin page now. Go get some PSLs and stay basic, Hoyas.

Photos: clipartpanda.com; commons.wikimedia.org; einsteinbros.com; rebloggy.com

Econ Crushes: 7 Ways to Tell if They Mean True Love

ECONcrush

Ladies and Gents, gents and ladies, fellow Hoyas and fellow Hoya followers: Love is in the air.

With just a mere 8 or so weeks left of the semester, you may or may not be realizing that the time you spend gazing at your star crossed lover in Econ is soon coming to an end. Face it: it’s time to make your move.

He/She has stolen your heart through long weeks, problem sets and midterms already… don’t lose your opportunity to seal the inevitable deal. We here at 4E understand if you’re reluctant to swoop in; how can you be sure if he/she is into you?! Well, we have the answers!

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1. Eye Contact. Perhaps you were staring longingly at the glorious curves of their face, in the middle of a daydream about your future family, or simply scanning the room when your eyes met theirs; whatever the occasion was, catching he/she in the act is a sure sign of their undying love for you!

Next Steps: When this happens (which of course it will) don’t miss your opportunity to clarify your acknowledgement with a nice subtle wink! Make sure to make it extra obvious so that he/she knows it is meant for them!

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2.  Have you had another class together before? Boys and girls, here is a major sign that his or her obsession with you is equivalent to your own with them! Why else would they be taking macro this semester other than the fact that they took micro with you the semester before?!

Next step: Write them a handwritten note (it must be in cursive) to let them know that you know that they are stalking you. Make sure to let them know that you’re OK with it though and use this opportunity to share your mutual love for them.

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3. The “Sup Nod” Test. Perhaps, you and him/her have mutual friends, have talked at a party once or reviewed an iClicker question together and your relationship has reached the occasional “sup nod” phase. This means that in passing you are both comfortable and eager to acknowledge each other. To some this may seem like only a friendly gesture shared between acquaintances, but don’t be fooled. That simple tilt of the head is more similar to a mating call than to an innocent form of acknowledgement.

Next Step: Be bold and swoop in. As soon as this action takes place, get as close as you can to him or her, stare into their eyes and align your steps with theirs. The rest will follow.

4. Did you bump into each other? It could have been anything from a gentle brush of the shoulder to a full on fall-on-your-face fiasco – any physical contact is a sure sign of physical desire…. of course, right?

Next Step: Make it happen again. The first bump may have seemed to be only a coincidence to your soon to be lover, in order to ensure that he/she knows it was in fact fate you need to make sure that it happens again. Plan a methodical collision for your next class. Scope out where he/she is sitting and deliberately time your departure for class. Untie your shoe and give yourself at least 4 feet to fall flat out on this person. Once this happens your love will be certain.

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5. Note Sharing. Has this person ever asked or offered to share/compare notes? This is major. If this event has taken place, it is a sure sign that not only do they trust your competency and intelligence, but they’re probably into you. Let’s be honest, asking for help is the clearest indicator that a person is looking for more than answers to their recitation worksheet.

Next Steps: Use this opportunity to share a little more than just the answers/mathematical garbage. For example: (x + y) = you and me on a long walk on a beach in the sunset with our children for the rest of our lives and eternity.

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6. Sits in your row. If he/she sits in your row week after week take this as a deliberate sign of their undying love for you. Even if this is a result of your incessant stalking/ premeditated effort to be close by, because they have not moved away they are likely on mutual ground.

Next Steps: Scoot closer. Each day make an effort to sit at least one seat closer to this person. Even if the same people sit in the seats between you all everyday. It’s fine. Once you’ve finally reached the next seat over spend your classes inching closer to him/her. By the time you are in this person’s lap you will most likely be engaged.

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7. Avoids you. The last and most sure sign that shows that a person is into you is avoidance. This is an instinct we are all made aware of at a young age. If a person seems to ignore your hellos, sits at the far end of the room from you or simply is caught up in their phone every time you are around, it is very likely that they are just too nervous to contact with you.

Next Steps: Ease this person’s discomfort with persistence. Stand by them as much as possible and their sense of security will grow. Follow them around campus or search for their NetId! If you don’t have access to their phone number, send them e-mails frequently with one or two words. This will add to the mystery while allowing the person to grow comfortable with your interactions.

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The clock is ticking my friends. Be bold, be fearless, get the guy/girl.

Photos/Gifs: sparknotes.com; giphy

Campus Sartorialist: November

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As fall starts turning into winter, most Hoyas are bracing themselves for some truly cold days ahead. Indeed, weather forecasts all over predict snow and general chilliness for this Thanksgiving break. However, yesterday was an unexpectedly warm day, so the 4E bloggers decided to take a walk around campus and get some shots of stylish students.

Anjali

Anjali Dayal (Ph.D. candidate in the government department) looks fab in a classic jacket/skirt/boots combo. The black and gray color palette takes her look from classy to business classy – ladies with upcoming interviews or presentations, take note.

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Next up is Jonathan Marrow (COL ’18) rocking shorts in the 60-degree heat – pink shorts, too. Coupled with Sperry’s, a button-down and a Hoya vest, I think we can all agree that this look is so Georgetown. 

Matt

Matt Grisier (COL ’16) is decked out in what experts call “a suit and tie.” The light blue-and-white stripes complement the gray jacket and pants nicely. Perfect for an interview or for the workplace!

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We ran into Sam Kleinman (COL ’16), who was looking sharp in the very classic button-down and jeans combination. The casual rolled-up sleeves, baller watch and subtle pen in the shirt pocket lend themselves to the “academic but laid-back” look.

BussyBussy Awosanya (COL ’15) is rocking a purple dress with flats on this fine day. Accessorizing with a leather jacket, unique necklace and cute bag, this is the look of a true sartorialist.

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Last up, we met Laura Angelich (COL ’15) and Ben Saunders (SFS ’15), who, while dressed differently, are united in their support of GIVES. We loved Laura’s adorable jacket, scarf and boots, just as we loved Ben’s “Kindness Is Cool” T-shirt. Some fashion trends come and go, but kindness is always in season.

Thanks to Erin Hart and blogger Julia Kieserman for helping me get these shots of fashionable Hoyas! Stay tuned for more photos of fresh Hoyas next month.

 

The 10 #Basic Commandments of Fall

Basic Fall

Fall is undoubtedly the greatest season of all: The leaves start to change colors, Starbucks releases its seasonal drinks and, of course, Halloween and Thanksgiving are just around the corner. Naturally, the beautiful autumn backdrop and seasonal traditions lend themselves to the perfect Instagram (with the right filter), which is sure to rack up the likes. So really, it comes to no one’s surprise that fall is a  #basicgirl’s favorite season.

As you have most likely noticed, the #basic movement has definitely taken over the Hilltop as the aroma of artificially scented pumpkin everything fills the air and infinity scarves are in abundance. After noticing the trend, you may find yourself asking, “WOW! What can I to do to become more #basic?” If this applies to you, then we here at 4E have some answers, as we’ve compiled the 10 Commandments of Being #Basicinthefall.

1. Thou shall visit a pumpkin patch for the sake of a new profile picture (which thou shall delete if it does not get enough likes).

2. Thou shall go “apple picking” at least once and Instagram the entire excursion because thou shall always #doitfortheinsta.

3. Thou shall not pick more than three apples when “apple picking”, because excessive apple picking detracts from picture taking time.

4. Thou shall instill creativity in your Halloween costumes.

5. Thou shall honor the sacred combination of riding boots, vests and flannels and this shall be worn at least three times a week.

6. Thou shall purchase an abundance of fall scented Yankee Candles, for which your roommate will surely thank you.  Permitted scents include: Apple Pumpkin, Season’s Blessings, Cozy Sweater, November Rain and Autumn Wreath (and yes, these scents actually do exist).

7. Thou shall partake in an extravagant Friendsgiving feast … in your dorm.

8. Thou shall channel your inner Martha Stewart and try every fall related recipe on Pinterest for your aforementioned feast.

9. Thou shall go out of your way to crunch every dead leaf you encounter on your walks to and from class, which is sure to be a nuisance to all other passersby’s.

10. Thou shall spend at least half of your flex dollars at the Leavey Starbucks this season exclusively on Pumpkin Spiced Lattes and Salted Caramel Mochas.

So there you have it 4E readers, a whole set of #basicguidelines. Hopefully, it will help you embark on your #basicjourney to become a #basicHoya. Good luck!

Gifs: survivingcollege.com, tumblr.com, blogspot.com, twentyishdot.com; Photo: mackinawcity.com

 

I’m Too Soxy For My Shirt

Hoya Soxa

Fall, autumn, apple pickin’ time … Whatever you want to call this season, it’s time to say goodbye to the sandals and say hellooooo to the SOCKS AND SANDALS! Just kidding.

But let’s talk socks. I know that you, the perspicacious 4E reader, is wondering why a whole post is being devoted to socks, a.k.a. “shoe liners” or “foot cozies” or “really horrible Father’s Day present.” But let me tell you something: Socks are no joke. This time of year, nothing can make or break a day like a pair of socks. Got caught in a mid-autumn downpour after class? Changing from wet socks to dry wool-y ones is like getting a million high fives: It’s awesome!

There are many different types of socks roaming the Georgetown campus. But for the sake of brevity, we’ve decided to feature five key types. If you already have them, consider yourself set for the rest of your undergraduate education. If you’re missing a type, what are you waiting for? In the words of Ron Swanson, “Just give me all the bacon and eggs [socks] you have.”

1. The Mid-Calf

Forget the muscle tee, snapback or sweet Nike© kicks: nothing screams “I’M AN ALPHA DOG” like a perfectly executed mid-calf sock. Wear these when you’re “chillin’ with the boiz” at “the gym”, or when you’re “chillin’ with no one” on your couch watching “the game.” Sports!

Please refer to the dude on the left for an example of an “alpha dog.”

2. The Ankle

An American classic. Actually, a worldwide classic, because who doesn’t love ankle socks? Perfect with sneakers, boots, Crocs, you name it – these put the “Terrific” in “versatile.”

3. The Knee

Hold up. You’re wearing ankle socks with knee-high boots and you feel uncomfortable, and you’re thinking of giving up on socks entirely? Don’t do that! Get a pair of knee socks! If you don’t wear knee-high boots, you should still have a pair of these because they can come in clutch for costumes.

4. The Low-Cut

Shoutout to Costco for slowly cornering the market on these bad boys. While you may be shocked, as I was, to hear that KB stands for K. Bell and not Kirkland Brand, don’t let that misunderstanding prevent you from enjoying an inexpensive pair of durable and cozy (and colorful!) socks.

A sight for sore eyes.

5. The Toe

For those of you out there who want that extra wiggle room, here’s a sock that fits like a glove. It literally fits like a glove. These are foot gloves. Whatever, it’s your life – you can let your toes hang loose if you want to. #miley

Hoya Soxa!

Photos: ourlifeblog.net, blogspot.com, wordpress.com