Your Best Friends at Georgetown

Banner - FriendsWe’ve all heard of the “Georgetown Stereotype.” I’m not so sure there’s only one. I present to you some of the many characters of Georgetown:

The SWUG (Senior Washed-Up Girl) In Training:
No stranger to The Tombs, she can recite the nightly specials by heart. Does she even know that the 99 Days Club is only for seniors? Evidently not. While apathetic to dressing up and personal hygiene, she’s taken up a new interest in wine tasting (which she does on her Village A couch). This girl reminds us that you don’t have to be a senior to be a SWUG.

 

The Girl Who’s Never NSOver It:
A double legacy, Jane Hoya eats, sleeps, and breaths Georgetown. Don’t be surprised to see a “1789” tattoo on her side. When you go to her pregame, expect to play icebreaker drinking games ~but only if you’re over 21 and in a building which permits alcohol consumption~. She’ll surely facilitate healthy dialogue, reminding you that not all Hoyas drink, and that those who do, do so responsibly. If you get lucky, she’ll even show you how she NSOs.

 

The Startup Guru:
After securing a modest 50k from family and friends, he dropped out of Georgetown to pursue his startup. He swears he’s going to be a billionaire by 25 and land a spot on Forbes’ “30 Under 30.” What does his startup do? No one really knows. He’ll probably be back next semester.
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The MSBro:
President of SigEp, working in finance, he’ll say he didn’t even buy the textbook and then skew the class curve by getting a 100. This guy must secretly hit up Lau when no one’s around. But you just saw him at Chi-Di last night, and at Tombs the night before. Work hard play hard, right?

 

The Facebook Activist:
Having watched “Veducated” on Netflix, she’s a dedicated vegan of two weeks and determined to spread awareness about her cause. Apparently sharing socially-oriented articles constitutes real activism these days. She’ll send you multiple invites to local protests, which she probably doesn’t attend. This obsession will last for a month until she watches “Blackfish” and becomes determined to save Seaworld’s marine mammals from her MacBook Air.

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The Pre-President:
He introduces himself as future “President of the United States” as he aggressively shakes your hand with a forced wide smile. When he enters a room, he nods and points into the distance, acknowledging his many friends, and then waves in the opposite direction. Sometimes you wonder if he is even waving at anyone or just wants to keep up appearances.

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The (Practically) Engaged Couple:
Liz and Ben have been dating ever since they met the during the first day of their pre-orientation program. Still going strong, they’ve reserved a spot for their wedding at Dahlgren Chapel (because you HAVE to do so years in advance). Last week, they posted the cutest couple photos at the Cherry Blossoms and hold hands whenever they walk around campus. They are going to be together forever and ever, and ever, and ev… wait. Ben just DFMOed with Sarah at ChiDi when Liz was at an internship interview in New York? Yeah, I take back what I said. Oh well. #Younglove

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, dailymotion.com, bestdelegate.com

 

Word Wednesday: Zombieing

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Lemme guess. You woke up last Friday, armed with a Saxby’s iced coffee and ready to take on a heavy-lifting day of people watching on Healy Lawn. Your phone died late last night, so you haven’t had a chance to check your notifications yet. You’re scrolling through when you notice that Jacob*, your one-time high school sweetheart has liked an Instagram post of yours. But wait, you haven’t posted since last week. Hold the phone, this picture is from 42 weeks ago! Feeling shocked, alarmed, and a little smug? Well, congratulations! You’ve been zombied.

Zombieing [zom-BEE-ing] (verb):  (1) the horrifying act of double-tapping someone’s Instagram post, favoriting a Tweet, or liking a Facebook photo from more than 4 weeks back who you have not spoken to in, like, forever.

‘Yikes’ is right.

The verb derives from the root “zombie” (noun): a human who has risen from the dead. If you partake in zombieing, you have metaphorically “risen from the dead” as you have not made real human contact with your victim in an extended period of time. Zombieing is often accompanied by embarrassment upon revealing your late-night social-media stalking habits of:

1.  A previous significant other (and no, it didn’t “end well.)

2. That girl from high school who just rushed Kappa Zeta WTF-ever and is SO excited to meet her Biggie!

3. The hot best friend of the cousin of your longtime BFF who has never heard of you.
4. The #PuppiesOfInstagram account of the promoter you met at Cities last weekend.
5. Your Econ TA celebrating his 2 year anniversary with his girlfriend.
Listen, we’ve all been there. Just keep those fingers to yourself, you know?

Gifs: giphy.com, http://sequart.org/magazine/

Word Wednesday: HAUNTING

haunting_shadow4E is here to keep its readers hip and in the loop.  So, if you haven’t already heard, the new word on block is “HAUNTING”. What is “haunting” you may ask? The new form of ghosting; haunting is when one breaks off the relationship without explanation or contact, but still communicates indirectly through social media.  If ghosting wasn’t bad enough, haunting may be the ultimate low of our awkward relationship or “lack there of” culture.

So, what are some examples of haunting? 4E is here to help.

SNAPCHAT:

You were totally ghosted last weekend by let’s call him “Michael,” but you two are still friends on Snapchat.  You thought everything was going great and you even had a Snapchat streak of 4 whole days! But, that is all long gone, as “Michael” has stopped all communication for a whole week.  YET, HE STILL VIEWS YOUR STORY LAST NIGHT OF YOU EATING A CHICKEN QUESADILLA AT EPI!!! The sore reminder of him hurts the pit of your stomach.  Delete your “Michael,” ladies!

FACEBOOK: 

Girls can ghost and haunt, too! You totally thought that you and let’s call her “Jessica” hit it off at that VIL A golf party.  You even took her to Georgetown Cupcake for a casual date on a TUESDAY night!!! After which, you thought it appropriate to Facebook friend her.  She accepts and you two see each other for three weeks.  And by that, I mean you go home with each other for three consecutive weekends.  When all of the sudden, you never hear from “Jessica” again and thus, you have been ghosted. Two weeks later, you see her name pop up on your notifications that she liked your new profile pic.  Confused? You should be. It’s probably best to just unfollow or unfriend her as it’s still a sore subject among your bros.

4E hopes that after properly defining the word HAUNTING, you will now know that there can be something worse than ghosting.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, tumblr.com

Hilltop Hacks: Productive Procrastination

Banner - Productive ProcrastinationHappy midterm season, Hoyas! While it may be crunch-time in the classroom, you can only run on a double-shot of espresso from Midnight for so long; you should treat yourself! What I’m talking about here is productive procrastination: distractions you can feel good about. The key to productive procrastination is overdoing it and doing it well. 4E is here to show you how.

  1. Did someone accidentally jump into your Village B wall the other night and leave a gaping hole? Well, what better time than now to fix it? File that maintenance request, and while you’re at it, why not explore the other failings of your crumbling apartment? Does the right faucet in the bathroom leak? Is the outlet closest to the couch failing to charge your laptop? And what about that mysterious stain on your couch cushion left over from last year’s occupants? File them all away into the interweb for maintenance to deal with while you’re gone.
  2. Cleanse your Facebook friends. Let’s face it, you probably don’t need to be friends with the old middle school meathead or that chick from the DC Summer Conference you attended during your sophomore year summer. Here’s a tip from a serial friend-remover: Check out your Facebook birthday list. If it’s their special day and you don’t feel inclined to send them good wishes, delete ’em. But don’t stop at just this month’s birthdays; purge through April’s and May’s while you’re at it. You don’t need all that newsfeed clutter anyway.
  3. Cook e v e r y t h i n g in your refrigerator. By Friday, you’ll be packing your bags to head to little old Oyster Bay Barbados and you do not want that Trader Joe’s Alaskan Salmon getting too, uh, ripe. Save yourself the stank and prune through all of your perishables. Otherwise, you’ll be coming back to a kitchen that will make you go…
  4. Speaking of Spring Break, what better way to use your wandering brain waves than trolling around Trip Advisor for “25 Best Things to Do in Cancun” ? There’s nothing worse than arriving at your gorgeous Best Western Motel all-expense paid trip and having no idea what to do next. Is there a local zoo with a rare snake exhibit? What about a modern art showcase on the intricacies of recyclable beauty? Oh, wait, is that a Groupon for bottomless mojitos and tortilla chips after 10 AM at the Crazy Frog?

    And if you don’t know, now you know.
  5. And finally, as I’m sure you haven’t called your mom except in a stressed-out, crying fit all week, give her a ring. If anything, calling now will lessen how angry she’ll feel about the inevitable “I need $100 in my bank account mom, please. This is the last time, I promise” text you send her next week. But while you’re at it, call Grandma, Aunt Sue, your long-distance ex-but-not-really-ex-girlfriend; why not? On second thought, maybe it’s best to just text dad and ask to Facetime with the dog. You do have tests to study for, after all!

Photos/Gifs: appliedvisionworks.com, giphy.com

PSA: Facebook Updated Their ‘Like’ Button

UntitledIf you’ve been living under or a rock or, more realistically, been avoiding logging onto Facebook to prevent further procrastination from midterms, then you may have missed Facebook’s latest update.  In response to years of users calling for a ‘dislike’ option to complement the ‘like’ button, Facebook has finally responded by rolling out a whole new set of emojis you can use to describe your response to someone’s post.  The new emojis, dubbed ‘Reactions’, include six different options and can be accessed by scrolling and hovering over the old ‘like’ button.  While this update allows users to more openly express their feelings, many individuals are left wondering when they should use one ‘Reaction’ over another. In order to help those users out, 4E has created an Etiquette Guide to Using ‘Reactions.’

  1. Like: This is the same old button that Facebook users have grown to like since it was first introduced in early 2009.  While it used to be appropriate to ‘like’ anything from a cute picture of a baby panda to that profound life status from an old grade school classmate, you should be warned to use this button sparingly.
    Post to ‘like’: Your great Aunt Phyllis’s 1000th picture of her cats.
  2. Love: The ‘love’ button is a big step up from the ‘like’ button.  Prior to its addition on Facebook, you probably used to casually scroll through your crush’s updates and try to inconspicuously ‘like’ a couple posts here and there.  The new ‘love’ button is really a game changer as you can really show someone just how creepy and obsessive you really are.
    Post to ‘love’: Any and all of your crush’s old posts and profile pictures from 2008 to 2010.  This will not only show off your true stalking abilities, but will be a true sign of your love from him/her regardless of their old awkward photos.
  3. Haha: Remember how you used to write ‘haha’ every time you thought a post was funny?  If you’re suffering from sort of freak amnesia, scroll back to 2011 for reference (side note: you most likely also used the :P smiley during that time period).  With this new reaction, actually typing ‘haha’ is now obsolete as its inclusion as a ‘Reaction’ was most likely due to the Millennials’ pure laziness…
    Post to ‘haha’: ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING.  Think that video of a dog running into a glass door is funny? ‘Haha’ it!  And that really witty status that kid you haven’t since high school posted? ‘Haha it’! The ‘haha’ is definitely the most versatile new ‘Reaction’ so feel free to use it as obnoxiously as you see fit!
  4. Wow: Sometimes someone’s post on Facebook really just leaves you speechless.  Whether that’s in a good or bad way, users have never actually had a way to accurately express such sentiment before now!
    Post to ‘wow’: That ~profound~ political rant posted by that gov major who definitely thinks they’re the next Bill Clinton.
  5. Sad: Sometimes Facebook posts are just sad, ya know?  Clicking the like button to show your support was never really appropriate and sometimes commenting on a status for someone you didn’t really know was a little too awkward.  The ‘sad’ button now allows users to demonstrate how a post might make them tear up just a little bit.
    Post to ‘sad’: Any shared video about animal abuse set to a Sarah McLachlan song.  While you’re at it, you might want to get the tissues ready too.
  6. Angry: Ever read a post that made you really fired up?  Maybe you even posted your own status as a reaction to it.  Either way, after a long time coming Facebook has finally introduced an ‘angry’ button which is arguably a step up from the ‘dislike’ button that so many people had previously requested.
    Post to ‘angry’: ANY post that mentions Syracuse or Villanova and does not mention Georgetown’s superiority.

Photos/Gifs: assets-creativityonline.com, tumblr.com, giphy.com

Finals Flashback: Favorite Facebook Posts

 

Banner - Facebook Flashback

I’m about to drop the worst of the f-bombs: FINALS. Studying for these seemingly never-ending tests can be stressful and overwhelming, if not the worst part of the semester.

When I think about finals, I think about many other f-words: food (because who isn’t hungry 24/7 when studying), fun (of which I am deprived as I sit in a dimly lit Lau cubicle), and Facebook. If you want an F on your final, just open up Facebook, click on a friend’s page, and scroll down. Scroll way, way down. I’m talking pre-2010, when middle school us talked about being on Oovoo, complained about our daily lives, and felt the need to post on social media when we didn’t have any plans.

Thanks to some very low-key stalking kind volunteers, 4E has compiled a list of your favorite bloggers’ best Facebook moments from their better days:

catherine 1I was going to confront you about this, but looks like you already noticed.

courtney 1Were you just trying to prove that you went to school? Do you want an award or something for going?

jenna 1Major retweet. I, too, am overwhelmed by the fact that “groshery” stores have food, and for that very reason, want to leave America, where I hope “groshery” stores will not sell so much food.

keaton 2Actually, it’s funny regardless. And don’t hate on Miley.

dj 1I tried this several times to no avail. Do you have any further advice, because I really love magic circles?

kat 1Yes! Just microwave the battery for a few minutes and it should dry out really fast.

mike 1mike 2Just trying to keep any stalkers up to date on my exact whereabouts at all times.

keaton 1Sporty and fun! Gold medal in embarrassing Facebook posts.

sara 1Personally, I’m screwed for finals, but I feel the pain.

dj 2#blessed

catherine 2OMG did you get his autograph?!?

matt 1Heard the one on Lau 5 is quiet and never runs out of toilet paper!

 

Hope you enjoyed those blasts from the past! Now get back to work!

Photos: videostir.com, facebook.com

The Profile Picture Progression of a Georgetown Student

  UntitledLook back to your senior year in high school: a prospective student incessantly waiting for your Georgetown acceptance and, in the meantime, stalking all things Georgetown to try and get the best feel possible for the next four years of your life. You’re probably looking at the blog (HAY), the Instagram, your older brother’s friend’s cousin that attends Georgetown’s Facebook…

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Ah, Facebook, from this random stranger’s profile you find others, you creep and you stalk and you notice a pattern. There is something Georgetown going on here.

The Profile Picture Progression of a Georgetown Student:

While you may still be an underclassman in high school, you know Georgetown is where you want to end up. You visited with your uncle that one time and got the idealistic proud (and maybe a little later regrettably awkward photo) in front of Healy and you’re showing it off.

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You’ve been accepted and you make your way down to campus for GAAP weekend. Here is the opportune time to get that picture with Jack the Bulldog. You pet the dog and you’re officially part of the family.
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It’s a few weeks into your freshman year and you’ve finally conquered John Carroll’s lap and documented it. You’re a Hoya with Hoya insider knowledge.
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It’s now nearing the end of the semester. The holiday spirit is bustling through M Street and you step into Healey Circle on your way to Lau and see it lit with the Holiday Spirit. You, of course, get a picture with the “Hoyas” lights near the front gate.

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Almost the end of March, you know you made it through winter because the Cherry Blossoms are out to greet you! You waste no time and run to the Tidal Basin to get a casual (planned) candid amidst the flowers.

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Flash forward a couple years and the big day has finally arrived! No, not yet graduation, but your Tombs night. You’ve only been counting down since the first day of Junior Year to update your profile picture to a drunk one of you with a stamp on your forehead. Congrats, you’ve made it. This is the ultimate destination of the Georgetown student’s profile picture progression.
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And then there is the graduation photos, you are finally a real person! Maybe you will throw it back to that first picture in front of Healy just to #tbt. You’ll always be a Hoya.

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P.S. Don’t forget the Georgetown cover photo that appears sporadically throughout the four years, swapped out with friend candids, but forever returning.

Photos: 4E Facebooks, random boy on google, giphy.com, downtoday.co.uk

5 Types of People Running for GUSA Senate

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It’s October, and you know what that means. It’s that time of year when the real issues begin to be discussed, when world-class leaders petition for our support. Campaign season is upon us, and the New South/VCW District is feeling the heat. 4E has exhaustively analyzed the various campaigns, and has broken down the candidate’s qualifications and positions on the issues in order to help you make your decision today.

  1. The Future President

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Platform: This person doesn’t care about Georgetown, the issues or you. This is merely another stepping stone in their path to the Oval Office that began in 5th grade. If elected, their first act of business will be to organize a committee to discuss how best to make “Freshman Dorm Representative” sound good on a resume.

Last seen: In a suit, giving weirdly firm handshakes to other freshmen.

Supporters: 

  • Their parents
  • Future Secretaries of State
  • Members of the 2024-2028 cabinet

Detractors: 

  • Future Vice Presidents
  • Anyone within 15 years of their age
  • Their parents, when they don’t win
  1. The One who Actually Cares

white anglo saxon

Platform: Social justice, all bathrooms become gender-neutral.

Last seen: Painstakingly drawing out handmade signs when everyone else just prints them out.

Strengths: 

  • Ability to appear in any room whenever the word “privilege” is used
  • Being raised in an upper-middle class white family
  • Multiple ethnic friends

Weaknesses: 

  • Hasn’t actually taken an African-American studies class
  1. The Cool Dude

zefron neighbours

Platform: Booze. Lots of it

Strengths:

  • Charisma
  • Actually very strong. Rumored to bench anywhere between 330 and 550 depending on how much you say you can bench
  • Good Jawline
  • Excellent Hair
  • Still has suit from that basketball dinner

Weaknesses: 

  • Refers to New South as “Zoo South”
  • Campaign posters are just dick drawings which, while funny, wont get him the same kind of broad support he enjoys on NS2 where, according to our sources, he’s “a legend”

Last seen:

  • Coming out of that girl you like’s room at 2 a.m.

Supporters:

  • Basically everyone, because who doesn’t like school-sponsored keggers.

Detractors:

  • The Living Well LLC
  • Lame RA’s
  • Other NARPs
  1. The Panderer

all ur dreams

Platform: Free food all the time everywhere. Not only off-campus meal plans, out-of-state meal plans. Everything is free. Electric bill? Free. Will fix everything freshmen complain about during NSO. Like that time you ran for middle school council but got beaten by the kid who promised kool-aid water fountains.

Last seen: Staggering under the pile of 15 pizzas he promised for his campaign event

Supporters:

  • Freshmen who haven’t yet had the hope beaten out of them

Detractors:

  • Anyone with actual experience dealing with any kind of administration

Campaign Slogan: With great power comes no accountability

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  1. The Serial Advertiser

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Platform: Who knows. All we know is that he needs to stop.

Campaign strategy: Post at least 3 times a day on the GAAP Facebook group, each time prefacing his pitch with an apologetic “I know you guys are tired of these, but . . .”

Last seen: Furiously trying to think of rhymes for his first name

Supporters:

  • His multiple Facebook friends that promise he’s “a really chill dude with lots of great ideas”

Detractors:

  • Pretty much everyone, but ends up winning from third choice votes, purely through name recognition

So, whatever your choice, remember that participating in democracy is one of the most important things we can do for our country. Now go out there and make your voice heard!

#kanye2020

Photos/Gifs: Giphy.com; tumblr.com; sheknows.com

WBC Protest, As Told By Social Media

WBC

Unless you were abroad or in some Georgetown-day induced coma, you know that the Westboro Baptist Church visited our dear Hilltop yesterday. Their presence created quite a ruckus, leading to both a counter-protest and a solidarity event. Through both forms of expression, Georgetown students demonstrated their sentiments toward this event.

However, there was another way in which Georgetown students expressed their emotions: social media!

At first, many were confused what they were even doing there.

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Many were not feeling WBC’s presence, especially since it was the last day of classes.

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Tons of people showed up 3 hours early to capture the whole event…

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Todd Olson even showed up to show his support! (read: HAYYYY)

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And then the Instagrams began, capturing the occasion in a #artsy way.

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Some tried to bring comedy into the mix…

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The signs used by the WBC and their supporters were probably the most ridiculous part.

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But no matter the form the posts took, there was no doubt that Georgetown students were beyond proud of the support both the counter and the solidarity protests received.

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Photos: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat

What Does the Fox Say?

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You may have noticed around campus that there are a myriad of orange fox stickers that look something like this:

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This adorable little fox started popping up in odd places on campus towards the beginning of the semester. At first I only noticed it on a few cubicles in Lau. But now, as you go about your day you probably have seen this guy on the walls of the ICC, the brick pathways near Healy and even on a couple of trashcans. So what does this mean?

At first, there were various speculations. One student told me it was a secret society on campus- I really wish this was true, but alas, not the source of the fox stickers.

secret society

Another student told me it was for GAAP weekend, as a way to guide new students around campus. Instead of following footprints or arrows you simply follow the fox! While that would be highly entertaining to watch confused high school students and parents search for strangely placed foxes, this is also not the true source of the sticker.

What it is, is the logo for a new app called Secret. While it does have a clever name and an adorable fox as its mascot, people seem skeptical about the app itself. The purpose of Secret is that it allows you to post anonymous secrets for other people to read. Ironically the tag line for the app is “be yourself”, despite the fact that the entire purpose of the app is anonymity.

confused

Don’t worry kitten, we are too

So what exactly do people post on this Secret app? According to the app description, you can post things such as what is your biggest lie and what would you tell your 13 year old self?

The app promotes expressing yourself and making new friends. It kind of sounds like Facebook and Instagram without all the stalking, YikYak without the helpful tips or Formspring minus all the nasty questions and teen angst.

Unsurprisingly, there have been some concerns about vulgarity and bullying on the site. But who knows, maybe Secret is just about to catch on. Only time will tell. For now, the biggest secret seems to be, who has been putting up these secret fox stickers all over campus!?

Photos: play.google.com; survivingcollege.com; www.sodahead.com; apkware.com