Transportation and Tacos: History in The Making

In just a few days, most Hoyas will be returning to The Hilltop. A select few will study abroad in the fall, but nevertheless anticipation to leave home has never been higher. But amid all the excitement and preparations to return to school, some may have noticed the blossoming of a new trend over the summer that could have serious effects on our futures: the combination of transportation apps (e.g. Uber and Lyft) and food delivery.

Uber Technologies originally unveiled UberEATS in 2014, but the service is still separate from the app that you use to transport your lazy body home from a night out. Food delivery apps quickly became a new fad; Postmates and Tapingo quickly followed and the industry boomed. Even more recently, Uber seems to have taken a step further with the ability to request an ice cream truck. I received this email recently and while the service was only available on August 11, I was still shocked to see how Uber promotes obesity continues to improve its services.

The email continued to describe an added benefit to requesting a personal ice cream truck. As if the idea of that wasn’t enough, Uber promised free ice cream at McDonald’s (every Friday until 9/22/17) when you brought your ~collectible cone~.

So now when you download Uber, you’re not just getting a car service. Instead, you’re exposed to a world of ice cream on-demand and free ice cream at McDonald’s.  While I am not a huge McDonald’s fan (unless it’s Shamrock Shake season), I can’t deny that I was impressed. But just when I thought it could not get any better, I received word that Lyft was developing something called “Taco Mode”: a service that delivers passengers to the nearest Taco Bell mid-ride. Instead of matching its rival’s ice cream service and partnering with McDonald’s, Lyft has raised the bar even higher by partnering with Taco Bell and bringing customers to a food source on their way home. This means that on your way home from the bar (or wherever you are in the middle of the night), you can easily make a pit stop at Taco Bell and satisfy your dietary needs. Has science gone too far?

The correct answer to that question is: NO! This is exactly what the people (read: we, students of Georgetown) don’t need in our lives. A service that allows us to stop for food on our way home makes life incredibly easier. Rather than taking two Uber/Lyft rides to stop for food and then continue back to campus, this idea saves time and money for students who are on a budget.

As the industry continues to change, one cannot help but wonder what services will be released in the future. In order to help some wannabe MSBros aspiring business leaders, here are some great suggestions that one could take into account when developing the next great food service:

  1. &pizza Feature for SafeRide– Building on the idea of Taco Mode, this could be both an excellent boost in business for &pizza on Wisconsin Avenue and great publicity for SafeRide and GUPD. If you are taking SafeRide back to campus at a late hour, what better place to stop? It’s close to campus and they have a variety of pizzas and free water. This feature could also mean that the SafeRide driver stops at &pizza for you and grabs your food. Either way, you’re getting pizza and a ride home all in one trip.
  2. Corp Coffee Delivery Service– As if The Corp didn’t have enough to worry about, a coffee delivery service could prove disastrous since probably everyone on campus (including faculty) would want coffee delivered to them. The solution would be to raise a delivery price, but then everyone would probably just not use the service. This may not seem like a great suggestion, but hey, maybe someone else can put a better spin on it.
  3. Quick Pita Food Truck– If this had happened prior to the tragedy of December 31, 2016, the eatery may have raised its sales enough to stay in business. Maybe it’s just me, but setting up this stand just off campus (in case you’re too lazy to walk the extra blocks) would’ve been a godsend.
  4. GUTS Stop at Jumbo Slice– Georgetown may have stopped the late-night Adams Morgan route, but it may be time to bring it back if this idea gains popularity. Picture this: you are leaving Madam’s Organ (if you’re of age, of course), and you want to take the free shuttle home but you also want pizza. Now you can do both because the shuttle waits while you run in and grab a slice.

While these suggestions may seem a bit ridiculous, are they any worse than “Taco Mode” or Uber ice cream trucks? That’s up to you to decide, but just remember that in the coming weeks there probably will be a longer wait for late-night Epi than a mid-day Cosi due to something called NSO. In case you have forgotten, the counter at Epi will look something like this.

So to whomever takes up one of these ideas and actually does something with it: please remember me when you’re famous!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, uber.com, businessinsider.com, money.cnn.com

The Stages of Losing Your GoCard

Who knew a tiny, ugly piece of plastic would mean so much to us? If you’re a Georgetown student, you’ve probably lost your GoCard before. And if you’re like me, you lose it almost every week. How do we cope? Well, the first step is knowing what you’re in for. If you’re not already familiar with the many feelings that come with losing that little card, here’s a reminder.

1. Denial

You lost it. Again. Again?! How did you lose it again? You’ve checked literally all the pockets of all your pants,  the entirety of your now-messier room and retraced your steps of the past few hours. It’s over. It’s gone. You can’t go to Leo’s, you can’t print, and you can’t get into your dorm without awkwardly waiting outside for a stranger to swipe you into the building. Great.

2. Anger

    It’s Day 3, and this whole losing your GoCard thing is ruining your life. You can’t do your laundry, and it might not be the best idea to ask your friend to borrow their GoCard for the 7th time.

3. Bargaining

    Here’s how you explain your situation to the swipe-in security officers: “Hi, I lost my GoCard. I’m sorry. I don’t — is that — okay? It might be upstairs, I don’t know. Okay great, yes, next time. I live here, I promise!”
    Here’s how they respond: They shrug, wave you along, maybe utter a soft “K” or “You’re fine…”

4. Depression

    Another day, another fruitless search for the GoCard. You’re sad. You’re confused. Do you keep looking for it? Do you even care at all?

5. Acceptance

Fine. It’s time for that trek up to the infamous GoCard office. You usually only go up to this location for late-night Epi runs, so this is new for you. But it’s time – it’s been time. You may be losing $25, but hey, at least you can try to get a better GoCard picture this time.

Photos/gifs: newstudent.thehoya.com, giphy.com

Health Code Violations Georgetown Students Have Ignored

We’ve heard the rumors. We’ve seen the health code signs. But for all our favorite Georgetown restaurants, students are very much willing to forgive and forget their health code violations. To commemorate our most notorious health code offenders, 4E has rounded up all our favorite food establishments and their health code violations! We also realistically understand you’ll read this article and then go grab a bite to eat. See you there!

1. Dean and DeLuca, 2017

Not the first time its been closed for rodent infestation. But then again who in Georgetown can escape the rodent infestation?

http://wjla.com/news/local/dc-dept-of-health-closes-dean-deluca-in-georgetown-due-to-reported-rodent-infestation

2. Sweetgreen, 2013

Closed for “six critical violations of food code regulations, including an inaccessible hand-washing sink, a broken refrigerator, fruit flies and an expired business license.” Rough.

http://www.thehoya.com/sweetgreen-reopens-after-food-code-violations/

3. Mai Thai, 2017

Closed for apparent “drainage issues in the kitchen during maintenance work,” and mold in the ice machines. But real question how does their food come so fast???

https://www.washingtonian.com/2017/02/10/mai-thai-in-georgetown-closed-by-the-dc-health-department/

4. Whole Foods, 2017

Closed for violating “the District of Columbia food code regulations, which presents an imminent health hazard to the public.” But the only real hazard to our health is Whole Foods prices.

http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/Glover-Park-Whole-Foods-Closed-for-Food-Code-Violations-413385753.html

5. Booeymongers, 2013

Closed for unclean food preparation, “mold on the ice machine and employees failing to use gloves during food preparation.” But let’s be honest: Most of us come for something that doesn’t need preparation and comes straight from a tap.

http://www.thehoya.com/after-2013-violations-local-eateries-adjust/

6. Wingos, 2012

Closed for violation of “improper holding temperatures, lack of proper date labels and improper food separation.” I mean, most of us eat Wingo’s at improper temperatures, with unknown dates, and no separation…it’s called the next morning.

http://www.thehoya.com/after-2013-violations-local-eateries-adjust/

7. Johnny Rockets, 2007

According to a health department report, health inspectors discovered “evidence of recent rodent activity,” including “gnawed hamburger buns.” The report said that improper disposal of trash and food debris had caused the rat infestation. The department closed the restaurant…” Maybe just get a milkshake?

http://www.thehoya.com/doh-shuts-down-johnny-rockets-for-health-violations/

8. Chipotle

I think we all ignored the Chipotle E. coli outbreak and we lined up for our burrito bowls the day they reopened. Just saying.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/to-your-health/wp/2015/11/02/chipotle-closes-43-restaurants-following-e-coli-outbreak/?utm_term=.ca6e3b1a7c89

9. Epicurean, 2009

Who knew our favorite late night eater was up to so much? I guess we were all a little too “busy” *cough* to notice. Here are Epi’s violations:

  • Food was not properly “segregated, separated, [or] protected.” At the sushi station, eggs were stored in a way where they might contaminate other foods.
  • The restaurant was cited for unclean and unsanitized food contact surfaces.
  • The restaurant’s food marking and disposal methods were cited.
  • Food and non-critical surfaces were not properly maintained. The restaurant was cited for improper “dishware washing sanitation, and frequency methods,” which includes silverware. The final rinse temperature of the dishwasher was not hot enough.
  • Hot and cold foods were stored at improper temperatures.
  • There was no consumer food advisory for raw or under-cooked food displayed at the sushi bar or on menus

https://blog.georgetownvoice.com/2010/03/15/epicurean-leos-tombs-and-bangkok-were-high-risk-violators-of-d-c-health-code-in-2009/

10. Leos, 2005, 2008, 2009, 2012

Are we even surprised?

http://www.thehoya.com/doh-hits-leos-with-seven-violations/

https://blog.georgetownvoice.com/2012/09/13/leos-health-inspection-reports-six-violations-third-level-risk-category/

Don’t worry we love you guys anyways!

images source: google images

Georgetown Truth or Dares

On the weekend, Georgetown students face many different choices. To wake up for Leo’s brunch, or to forego food until 3 PM when Tapingo opens? To get homework done early on Saturday, or to leave it for Sunday? To go out, or to have a rousing night in with your ~ladies~?

If you decide to pick the latter, I would suggest a wild game of truth-or-dare. But why not take it a step further? Why not make it a game of Georgetown inspired truth or dare?

DARES

  1. Streak on Copley Lawn (we’re looking at you, Cait).
  2. Skinny dip in Dahlgren fountain.
  3. Steal Kim Kim’s panini press.
  4. Find a willing friend and make out with them on every floor of Lau.
  5. Go behind the Cosi counter and make your own meal to save yourself a two hour wait.

Truths

  1. Have you ever stolen something from Leo’s?
  2. Have you ever walked in on your roommate doing something awkward (i.e. lying naked on the bed singing, picking their nose, etc.)?
  3. Have you ever excessively complimented your professor in an effort to raise your grade (Problem of God is not as easy as people make it out to be…)?
  4. How many of your Flex Dollars go to late-night Epi quesadillas?
  5. Where is the most embarrassing/inconvenient place you have thrown up (I hear Walsh and White-Gravenor are not very accommodating)?

With Piano as a no-go and people getting too lazy to host parties what with mid-term season in full-swing, we at 4E hope this game of truth-or-dare can salvage your otherwise boring Friday night.

*Disclaimer: if you get caught doing any of these dares, we at 4E cannot be held responsible.

Photos/gifs: giphy.com, gaap.georgetown.edu

Holidays and Hurling: A Guide to Your Hangovers

HangoverIt’s safe to say that the last month has been a whirlwind. The end of Thanksgiving break, all those formals, finals, finally coming home all in the holiday season, Christmas and New Year’s Eve has been a lot to handle. Amidst all the chaos, however, you probably still had time to go out and have fun with your friends. One or two nights (or maybe even all of them, if you’re ambitious) between that first study day and your first final probably looked something like this:You probably had an unbelievable night dressed as some holiday-related getup and posted the most basic picture of all time on Instagram. Meanwhile, you might have woken up the morning after and looked something like this:The mad rush to finish the fall semester ~with a bang~ included formals, sweaty Henle parties, trips to Chi Di, trips to Piano Bar (after getting rejected by Chi Di) and just relaxing evenings at Booey’s with friends. Most, if not all, of these experiences had you feeling down in the dumps the next morning or even later that night.

However, the holiday season has taught us at 4E that not all hangovers are the same. Maybe you woke up with just a slight headache one morning, but then the next morning you woke up feeling like death and slightly sick from all the Quick Pita food you had at 3 AM. So while 4E once told you how to survive those day-afters, I have composed a guide to classify what type of hangover you might be feeling as part of the Sunday Scaries.

  1. The Classic Beer Hangover– You wake up with nothing more than a pounding headache and the warm, delightful taste of Natty Light (read: you also smell like this, which makes you feel slightly queasy). This type of hangover probably came from a trip to Booey’s or the aforementioned sweaty Henle party. You’ll typically experience this throughout your time at Georgetown. The positive side of this experience? An easy remedy is to pop a few Advil and head to Leo’s.
  2. Death by Burnett’s– The other side to a typical party: a handle of some flavor of Burnett’s being passed around. Although you know this never ends well, you decide to go with the flow and deal with the consequences later. You wake up feeling ill. You feel sick and achy, but you manage to get up, clean yourself up, and then head out for the day. If you head to Leo’s brunch, this hangover is sure to be a thing of the past.
  3. The Aftereffects of Various Alcohols– The pregame started at 10 and you lasted until 2 AM. You had it all: beer, Burnett’s, some sort of juice and a sip of water at Epi (because that helps with the hangover, right?). Rumor has it there were even a few ~special~ ingredients in the jungle juice you had at that Vil B. Combining the aspects of the last two hangovers, your hangover makes you feel like death. Even after a shower, Advil and eating  the best of Leo’s brunch leaves you feeling hollow and just not your best. Unfortunately, the only way to get through this is to wait it out; by the end of the day, you’ll feel well enough to go out again and repeat the process.
  4. Post-Blackout-Mortem– Similar to the previous topic, you drank a hodgepodge of everything. You went from apartment to apartment to bar to bar, and made the most of every stop. Although you can only remember so much of it, you know you drank a lot since you wake up in the same clothes with some sort of orange liquid staining the front of said clothes. Is it a drink from last night or…? You don’t want to know, and you probably won’t find out unless your friend shows you the pictures that you wish didn’t exist. In the meantime, you focus on getting out of bed, because you can only think about one thing right now and even that takes every ounce of strength. Let’s just say that brushing your teeth, which is supposed to feel good, turns into a nightmare.
  5. Continuing Drunkenness– You wake up NOT HUNGOVER and feel like you’re on top of the world. You congratulate yourself on a job well done and figure what you can do next time to repeat the experience. As you begin to ponder this, however, your head starts to slightly throb until it feels like you’re being repeatedly thrown down the Lau steps. You start to feel sick and realize that your hangover is starting later than expected. Why? Because you were still drunk when you woke up. Although this may seem concerning, have no fear! Your options include accepting defeat or you could just keep it going! Either way you’re going to have a rough day. Nevertheless, you push forward.
  6. …Not Hungover?– Against all odds, you wake up truly not hungover and go about your day per usual. Either you didn’t drink that much or it’s just your lucky day. Although this is rare, it does happen. If it happens to you, congratulations! You can only go downhill from here.

So readers, take this as a guide for when you’re feeling under the weather on those Saturday/Sunday mornings of 2017. Happy New Year and, most importantly, stay responsible!

Photos/gifs: giphy.com, viralchakra.com

The Epic of Quick Pita

Banner - CheesyRecently, it was revealed that Quick Pita will be closing at the end of 2016 (on December 31, to be precise). You can imagine the effect this news has had on me, a connoisseur of late-night food. When I heard the news, I had a meltdown comparable to that of a catastrophic nuclear accident.Many of my fellow Quick Pita regulars reacted similarly as I gently broke the news to them. In fact, some of them threatened to transfer. Hogan Lizza (COL ’19), a devout Quick Pita enthusiast, commented, “Georgetown without Quick Pita is like the Cincinnati Zoo without Harambe.” I couldn’t have phrased it better myself. Quick Pita has been around for decades, and life will just not be the same without it.The increase in rent has left Quick Pita with no other choice but to move out. I, for one, plan on venturing there every weekend until they close. I also felt Quick Pita could not go without a proper sendoff. With a nod to Edgar Allan Poe, here is 4E’s tale of the Quick Pita we know and love:

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I wandered, drunk and weary,

Thinking about my ~classy~ night out on the dance floor,

As I ambled, nearly stopping, I heard a great number of people talking,

Talking of Middle Eastern food, of a place where I had never been before.

“Just a small eatery,” I thought, “hopefully cheaper than Epi because I’m poor.”

Only this, and nothing more.

I looked up this “Quick Pita” and set off for my potential hangover cure.

I hurried down Potomac Street, both hungry and eager to explore,

Eager to learn more about this eatery of Georgetown folklore.

Once I arrived, I took in the striped awning and the hole-in-the-wall that would help me score,

Help me score my freshman 15, something to soon happen, of that I was sure.

Quick Pita, I soon realized, would make me fat, forever more.

 Deep into the VCE darkness returning, I ate my chicken fingers and cheesy fries, still learning,

Learning about this wonderful taste, about to tell my friends they had to come with me.

But they didn’t listen, they said Darnall was too far from this place.

But I knew they’d come with me at some point, on my life I swore.

Eventually they ventured to Quick Pita, and their lives were changed when they walked through the double-doors.

Their hearts were changed–forevermore.

(Such as going to Quick Pita)
Such as going to Quick Pita.

Quick Pita became my solace, a refuge for me, whether or not I was sober.

The chicken fingers, the cheesy fries, the gyro kept me coming back for more.

I got on the scale after finals last year, and yelped in horror.

My parents asked me why I gained so much weight, how I didn’t notice my expanding core,

I told them how I frequently followed the Quick Pita spoor,

The spoor that would haunt my dreams-forevermore.

It was an ordinary night in September this year when I found out what would happen,

What would happen to Quick Pita, my dear Quick Pita, my savior.

Someone’s Snapstory said that Quick Pita was closing and raised a fury among students.

This was just something that I could not ignore.

I marched down to Potomac Street in the middle of a downpour.

I had to confirm that Quick Pita would be open (I couldn’t take not knowing anymore).

I strolled in and walked up to Sammy, the cashier who any Quick Pita regular knows.

I said to him, “Is it true you’re closing? If you say yes, I may start sobbing on the floor.”

He looked at me and said in a sad voice:

“Our landlord raised rent by forty percent, we can pay it no more.”

I replied, “Is there any way at all you can stay open? This is a place I really adore.”

Quoth Sammy, ever so honest, “Nevermore.”I walked home, depressed and defeated.

I told my friends and all acquaintances of the tragedy, the end of the food we all go for.

We all protested, and we in 4E ranted when we heard the news.

The neighborhood took away Rhino, now this? It’s like we’re at war.

But for now, all we can do is sit here and deplore.

For come 2017, Quick Pita’s doors shall be open – nevermore.

And Sammy, never moving, still is sitting, still is sitting,

Sitting at the counter, aimlessly staring at the eccentric, yet lovable, decor.

And his eyes have all the seeming of a good man that is dreaming,

And the fluorescent light over him casts his shadow on the tiled floor;

And the amazing food that we eat after leaving the Brown House dance floor

Shall be from Quick Pita – nevermore!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, yelpcdn.com

4E’s Declassified Freshman Survival Guide: Dorm Perks

Banner - Dorm PerksAt this point in the summer, every freshman’s parents are probably crying every day – partly because they are facing the dreaded empty nest, but mostly because tuition is due. You aren’t crying though, because you’re ready to be a Hoya, and Hoyas aren’t allowed to cry (except for in Red Square, the free speech zone on campus).

mom cries

In any case, you probably have a lot of unanswered questions. 4E has answers, in our latest installment:

***4E’s Declassified Freshman Survival Guide***

cookie lol
So you don’t look like this ^

Today’s topic is Freshman Dorm Room Perks. Every freshman dorm has different perks, and it’s important to know what they are so you can manipulate and take full advantage of your ~friends’~ rooms.

cooper wink


New South: No, your radiator definitely doesn’t heat the room, but did you know it doubles as a table? In most rooms, the front shell of the radiator pops off easily. Lay it across two chairs to make a table sturdier than the ones at our dining hall. Gold medalist water pong players always have humble beginnings.

Bonus: Your room has its own sink! Close the drain and fill the sink up with water. Plop a goldfish in there and voila: you’ve got yourself an aquarium.


VCW: The AC system here is surprisingly functional. Forgo the mini-fridge purchase; you can literally turn your room into a walk-in refrigerator if you set the temperature accordingly. In the rare case that your AC breaks, you can set your shower to extreme temperatures – simply turning it on can change the temperature of your room in just minutes.

freezing

Bonus:  In the case you don’t like the people who live directly below you, just flush the toilet (if you’re lucky, their room will fill with sewage).


Harbin: The notoriously difficult Harbin RAs are out for blood. However, you can use the cluster-style to your advantage! Close off your cluster’s door properly and you can create an impenetrable fortress for fiestas free from RAs.

Bonus: The upper several floors of Harbin have some of the best views among the freshman dorms. Some rooms can see the National Cathedral and the Washington Monument! Others can see the dumpster right behind the building where Bill Clinton’s trash was once thrown out!


Darnall: As you may have heard, Darnall has twin beds, rather than twin XL beds. Depending on what way you look at it, this gives you 5 MORE INCHES for activities.

ferrell drums

Bonus: You live on top of Epi, the 24-hour eatery that is every student’s go-to place at 3 a.m. Getting there and back for a late-night snack couldn’t be easier.


VCE: Call the housing office and request to move. The only positive thing is that the elevator tends to move fastest here out of all the freshman dorms. Possibly because nobody dares enter VCE.

Bonus:                                (this area intentionally left blank)

cocohead

More to come next time on 4E’s Declassified.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, georgetownuniversity.com, tumblr.com

25 Reasons Epi is the New Tombs this Summer

Epi Is New Tombs this summer

A momentous and unruly Georgetown tradition has been forever changed. Well, for the summer, at least. The Tombs has officially closed for renovations and with it many a 21st birthdays, forehead stamps, and traditions suspended until further notice. For many Hoyas, alum, and locals alike, this is an utter tragedy. The night so many have looked forward to, counted down, and dreamed about has been flipped on its head. Left in despair, many of those may be wondering what ever will they do?!

 

EPI!!!!

Here are your 25 reasons Epi is the new Tombs this summer:

1. Quesadillas. ‘Nuf said. 

2. Doctors. They have a tendency to be young, attractive, and scattered around Epi given its close proximity to their place of employment at the hospital.

3. $3.25 pizza. Mhmmm. 

4. The lighting. It’s a bit bright in the main area, but the dark bar provides a nice fun contrast. 

5. The dance floor. What, you didn’t know they had one? Turns out the opening between the two rooms is a great place to break it down. 

6. The diversity. Undergrads, grad students, drunk freshman, hospital staff, and Georgetown staff: it’s really just a great array of community. 

7. The playlist. Epi has jamz! 

 

8. The Darnall geotag. That is all. 

9. The hospital. You should never drink past your limit, but on your 21st, there is an even greater tendency for a person to seek medical attention. For this reason, there’s nothing better than a bar that shares a parking lot with a hospital!

10. Burleith. Two words: close proximity. 

11. Epi mems. You’re sure to have a ton. Why not add to the archival of weird Epi happenings thus far?

12. Drunk underclassman. They’re great to watch, truly. 

13. Free water. >>>>>.

 

14. Exclusive bar. Feel special in your own 21+ room while your underage friends stay close by.

15. Tombs is closed. NEXT! 

16. Epi has milkshakes.

17. And condiments. A vast and endless selection of condiments. 

18. Those round tables. Nothing says party like a circular table where you can sit and view all of your friends, and the other room only has rectangular tables. 

19. Underage friends. No longer must they mourn your departure at the door, but they can be at hand to help you walk and take part in your debauchery (well, from afar). 

20. Sushi bar. 

21. Henle. Proximity, proximity, proximity. 

22. Epi aesthetic. It’s just one of a kind. 

23. People watching. More of the above. 

24. You can customize your grilled cheese sandwich.

25. Epi rocks. Let’s be honest: It’s up there with The Tombs. Well, at least in the opinion of an underage person who has never been.

Alas, there’s just one small catch….

 

Epi closes at 10:30 during the summer. Didn’t we almost have it all?

Gifs: giphy.com, http://www.thehoya.com

Hidden Treasures of Epi

hideen treasures of epi

It’s the place where all nights end. It’s the place where multiple people puke bond in the bathroom on a weekly basis. It’s the place where you know you can always count on for a good break from Leo’s. If you haven’t caught on by now, this wonderful place is Epi.

Epi is the land of the famed quesadilla. While the classic chicken quesadilla is the go-to item for many customers, there are other options as well. If you long for something more, don’t be afraid to request extra guac or extra bacon (yes, this is possible). Many overlook the grilled cheese and the 1984, which are both viable options in one’s long-awaited visit to the safe haven of Georgetown students. HOWEVER, there are even more options than what you see on the menu. You may think you know Epi better than anyone, but 4E is about to prove you wrong. For the first time ever, Epi has released their secret menu!

Naturally, Epi decided to give 4E the first access to the hidden treasure of Georgetown’s #famous food venue. So, here’s a few of the newest additions to the range of options that face you as you stumble into Epi:

  1. The Exorcist– What better name for a sandwich than the very movie that made Georgetown even more famous than it was before? The name was obviously in the cards in constructing the secret menu. Think the Hot Chick is an unhealthy sandwich? Brace yourself for this one. The Exorcist might be considered a misnomer because instead of returning a soul to its owner, it may actually kill a person upon consumption. On 3 pieces of thick, perfectly-toasted sourdough bread, you’ll find multiple chicken fingers, crispy bacon, melted cheddar cheese, and a bit of honey mustard. Is this disgusting or delicious? We’ll let you decide.
  2. The Fourth Edition– Arguably, the Fourth Edition might be the best part of the menu purely due to its name. The quesadilla may be the go-to menu item for late night Epi customers, but the Fourth Edition takes it to the next level. It’s a quesadilla (you get to pick chicken, steak, or veggies), but you also get FREE extra guac and FREE BACON inside the quesadilla. This item is a deal breaker.
  3. The Dirty D– It’s only fitting that Epi has a menu item named after the building that is located directly above it. Served on a long subroll, you’ll find a delightfully-greasy combination of sausage, peppers, and onions. Epi recommends adding ketchup to complete the taste. You don’t necessarily have to be drunk to fully appreciate the glory of this sandwich.
  4. The B-Frat– Get ready to get ~sloppy~. To those of you from New Jersey, you may know this side order by the name “disco fries,” except with an excellent twist. If you feel like eating disgusting excellent food, this one gives you small portion. Disco fries are traditionally cheese fries with gravy added on top. However, the B-Frat also adds chili…so if you feel like you want to vomit after eating these, don’t be a little b**** you probably should take it slower next time, since there’s a lot of heavy stuff on this item.
  5. DeGioia’s Special– You walk by his office all the time, but sometimes never see him there. Do you ever wonder if our beloved President John DeGioia goes out of his office during the day? The word is that he disguises himself and goes to Epi in the middle of the day in order to get his favorite treat: ice cream. Have you ever ordered ice cream from Epi? You probably should. This final hidden treasure takes the cake. In a large bowl (who knew Epi had these?) lined with peanut butter, you’ll get four scoops of vanilla ice cream, chocolate syrup, whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles (they’re not called “jimmies”). AND the plus is that it’s cheaper since it is usually only available to DeGioia.

The release of Epi’s secret menu stands as a beacon of hope for those students who are devastated by the tragic loss of Brown House to the Office of the Provost. Even though you now might be going to Epi a lot earlier during your nights out, you at least have a bit more options than you usual!

Photos/gifs: giphy.com, http://bit.ly/26bbQJP

101 Thankful Things

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Gratitude is always important, but we recently celebrated an entire day dedicated to it. And there are lots of things to love: turkeys, colorful leaves, family…the usual.

We at 4E have compiled a list of 101 things that Georgetown students are and should always be grateful for:

  1. That one time my professor tore into that know-it-all when she said wrong things
  2. Professors who ignore the instructional continuity policy
  3. Roommates who don’t suck
  4. The Instagram “gufreshmendoingthings”
  5. Inattentive student guards
  6. Free food
  7. Free t-shirts
  8. Student discounts
  9. Getting a table in lau
  10. Leaving lau
  11. Not having to go to lau
  12. Club Lau
  13. The really nice security guard in lau who doesn’t judge me for always leaving lau really late
  14. Netflix
  15. Netflix and chill
  16. What happens after Netflix and chill
  17. Being featured in Georgetown’s Instagram
  18. The girl who lends me a chair from her table so that I can put my feet up
  19. Dogs
  20. Let me say that again: dogs
  21. T Sweets
  22. Christmas lights
  23. The “share location indefinitely” feature on the iPhone
  24. Brown house
  25. Slutty brownies
  26. Friends who distract you via text message while you’re in a boring class
  27. Georgetown basketball
  28. Professors who are chill
  29. Professors who care
  30. Free Chipotle
  31. When the guy at Chipotle doesn’t remind me that the guacamole costs extra
  32. Guacamole
  33. Beyonce
  34. Friends who make you food
  35. Friends who actually return the stuff they “borrow”
  36. When the pasta line at Leo’s isn’t eight miles long
  37. The “doge” meme
  38. First dates
  39. Second dates
  40. What even is a third date?
  41. Brunch
  42. Drunk brunch
  43. Not throwing up at drunk brunch
  44. The friend that patted my back after throwing up at drunk brunch
  45. Tequila
  46. The Harbin security guard that let me back in without a GoCard when I left the building in my pajamas to pick up the Mai Thai I had ordered for the fourth time that week
  47. Happy hour(s)
  48. Nutella
  49. When the Metro is on time
  50. When the GUTS bus is on time #rare
  51. Finding your wallet and purse safe and your phone fully charged despite not knowing how you got home
  52. Losing your phone and having someone you don’t know find it in their freezer
  53. Awkward times in class when you are placed in a group project with a Tinder match
  54. Cancelled classes
  55. Todd Olson
  56. Jack DeGioia
  57. When the other person cancels plans first so you don’t have to
  58. Sweetgreen
  59. The bread at Sweetgreen
  60. Parks and Recreation
  61. Donald Trump’s hairspray
  62. When the professor forgets to pass around the attendance sheet the day you skip
  63. Heely’s
  64. Hoverboards
  65. Friends with free MSB printing
  66. Kylie Jenner’s Snapchat stories
  67. When your Safeway order shows up on time
  68. When they don’t include rotten avocados in your Safeway order
  69. The one crazy dude who carries on class discussions in Problem of God
  70. Georgetown sunsets
  71. When randos let you pet their dogs
  72. 2000’s era Cartoon Network/Disney/Teen Nick channels
  73. 4E (duh)
  74. Ducking autocorrect
  75. Double stuffed Oreos
  76. When your favorite elliptical/treadmill/bike at Yates is free
  77. The fact that in New York they actually put cream cheese on your bagel
  78. The Lau geo-tag
  79. People who studied abroad but don’t start every sentence with, “When I was studying abroad…”
  80. When you see a former hookup but you look super hot
  81. Chick Fil A not having E. coli
  82. The smoothies at Leo’s brunch
  83. Yahoo answers
  84. When somehow ace a pop quiz without doing the reading
  85. The kid who dropped a dish in Leo’s last week and it shattered
  86. DFMOs
  87. Group texts
  88. When you put your music on shuffle and all of the songs you like come on
  89. Professors who don’t give a sit-down final
  90. When the Corp’s coffee isn’t burned
  91. The new athletic facility that we all get to use #loljk
  92. The cops who didn’t arrest me when I threw my fake ID at them
  93. Social justice Facebook posters
  94. When random organizations give out free food and you pretend to be interested just for the candy
  95. Rumchata
  96. #Jesuits
  97. Intramural battle ship
  98. Epi’s lax refill policy
  99. Epi’s quesadillas
  100. Drunk Epi
  101. Epi

And just for fun, here are the few things we are not thankful for:

  1. Epi buffet prices
  2. Group texts
  3. Georgetown basketball
  4. Kylie Jenner’s ability to inspire an entire generation
  5. The cops who arrested my friend for using his fake at Towne
  6. The guy tapping his foot really loudly in the cubicle next to me in Lau
  7. The new GUTS routes
  8. The thin Oreos

Happy Thanksgiving, Hoyas!

Photos/Gifs: reelseo.com