Upcoming GUSA Referendums

gusa referendumsIn case you missed the 25 emails, social media campaign and representatives knocking on your door begging you to vote, GUSA recently held two referendums on the topics of smoking on campus and club funding reform. We here at 4E found this to be a great way of getting a better understanding of the campus climate on some really important issues at Georgetown. So good, in fact, that we would like to propose a couple topics of our own that we think need some serious addressing for the next GUSA Referendum Day.

Without further ado, here are 4E’s proposed GUSA referendums.

Is two naps in one day too many?

You have two hours in between your first and second class. Obviously, you are going to take a nap and catch up on those extra Zs. You finish your last class of the day at 4:45, and you’re still feeling a little groggy from that first nap. You could really go for another one.

You worry, “Will I have enough time to finish my calc problem set?” “Will I ever fall asleep when it is actually time for bed?” The answer to both of those questions is probably no, but you still really want that nap. What do you think Georgetown?

Will this outlet work?

Whether you are studying in the HFSC, Lau, MSB, or any other popular study spot on campus, there is about a 50/50 shot that when you plug your laptop charger into the outlet it will actually work. You would think that with a nearly $70,000 tuition bill, Georgetown would be able to afford electricity.

Anyways, I say we leave it up to the student body to figure out if a given outlet works before going through the grossly disappointing process of unpacking your charger, getting up from your seat, and plugging it in only to find it doesn’t provide the life-giving electricity your laptop so desperately needs.

Do I really need to go to my econ recitation?

You attend all the lectures and you understand all the material. Well, maybe not ALL of it. Ok, honestly, probably none of it. But still, your recitation is at 7 p.m. on a Thursday night all the way in Walsh. AND it’s kinda cold out. I think the only way to get a valid answer is for the entire student body to weigh in on this decision.

Can we burn Lau to the ground?

Ok, I know technically this is arson, but I am pretty sure it’s what everyone wants. Lau defies the popular adage, “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” Not only is it ugly on the outside, but also ugly on the inside. It is also where most, if not all, dreams go to die. What do you guys think?

Make sure to keep an eye out for the next series of 25 emails from GUSA about upcoming referendums. You might just see one of these pressing matters on the ballot!

Gifs: giphy.com

The Drinks You Should Study With

Finals CoffeeFINALS. You are desperately searching for any source of caffeine like a dying man in a desert searching for a drop of water, and you’re utterly convinced it is the key to all of your success in school and in life. You may have a point. It is a known fact that the key to actually passing more than one final is that anxious jittery high that comes from a cup o’ joe. But this time, we are taking it to the next level. Directly from 4E to you is a list of our favorite coffee drinks to have handy for each subject we are studying.

History

Ah, the cappuccino. Difficult to make and fancy to say, this drink will transport you to a small little cafe in an obscure part of Europe where you can watch it all go down. As you enjoy the fluffy foam hovering over the crucial espresso shots, remember the Titans. Or watch the movie Remember the Titans for a study break and then go back to studying for Early Fill-in-the-Blank-Area-of-the-World.

Math

If you are stuck taking derivatives all day and night, the only hope for you is a nice large black coffee. Only the darkest java will provide the necessary fuel without the unwanted distractions of a more eclectic drink. It’s a serious drink to remind you that you are doing serious work, something employable in the real world one day. Congrats! Just don’t mess up on that final. Better keep drinking.

English

English is all about getting those creative juices flowing, finding the inner meaning and reading between the lines. What better drink than a Frappuccino or smoothie, an opportunity for creativity. Try any and all flavor combinations, with and without whip, and reap the delicious rewards of your genius. Just don’t spend as much time picking a flavor as you do working on your paper.

Foreign Language

Bonjour Madame, quieres espresso? When it comes to a foreign language, your best bet is a small cup with an even smaller amount of espresso in it. Consider just one or two shots because each one has as much caffeine as a full cup of coffee! Asking for a shot or two (sometimes known as a solo or dopio) will make you sound and feel as sophisticated as someone who is bilingual (maybe you if you keep studying).

Economics

If you are studying economics, you are going to need to treat yourself. Go mocha or go home. In fairness, you are studying what people want, and what do people want more than chocolate and coffee? You must experiment with a mocha yourself to understand what all the (economic) fuss is about. Believe me, only a mocha can bring you to Pareto efficiency.

So there you have it! Your best bet is never to stop drinking some form of caffeine. Though your sleep schedule may be completely thrown off by the time you get home for winter break, your plan should be to sleep through the next three weeks until you’re allowed back to Georgetown anyway.

Photo: Preciousnutrition.com

Courses that Cause Copulation: Which Majors Have the Most Sex?

Do you like numbers and money? Are you currently scouting internships with Goldman Sachs and McKinsey? Did you spend the last week stressing out about demand curves, trade policies or externalities? If so, apparently you’re also quite sexually active! Congrats! And where do you find the time?

According to studentbeans.com’s University Sex League, econ majors have more sex partners in college than any other major. A study released last week shows that finance nerds get wacky in the sacky the most with an average of 4.88 sexual partners since starting university.

Following close behind with an average of 4.7 sexual partners are social work, community care, and counseling majors. (How does that work? Give people advice and then unbutton their pants?) With an average of 4.57 sexual partners are marketing majors. This makes more sense: what better way to learn marketing than promoting your body?

And hospitality majors with 4.56 sexual partners seem to be lagging a bit in fourth place. They have hotel rooms at their disposal — frankly, they should be doing more.

With a disappointing 1.71 sexual partners are environmental science majors in last place — below even math majors and prospective engineers. I’m hoping that reducing the size of our carbon footprint is inhibiting their dopamine receptors (not sure what other excuse they have for being prude).

What I think we can take from these results is that even the highest major averages a relatively small number of sexual partners. What’s up with college student these days? Are these not supposed to be the years of experimentation and poor judgment? Soon we will all be tied down and must conform to the norm of monogamy. But now is the time to let loose. Eh, maybe once midterms are over.