What to Do After Getting Rejected from Piano Bar

After everyone’s favorite grimy bar got raided a few too many times and decided to be a whole lot pickier about who they let in, a lot of underage Georgetown students are left wondering – what next? Where else can I spend my Wednesday nights partying? Is there another spot I can flock to on a typical dead Georgetown Friday night? While no one has come up with a perfect solution yet, here are 4E’s 7 alternatives to Piano Bar.

  1. If you’re still looking to go out and have a good time, try Chi Di! What’s one rejection when you can have two in one night? Have you gotten a little too comfortable with your fake? Definitely give it a go despite multiple texts reporting cops surrounding the club.
  2. A rejection from Chi Di not enough to kill your party mood? The next move is a random club in downtown DC. You’re guaranteed to meet people almost twice your age, and if you wait in line long enough, you might even get to realize that Ultra is not nearly as large as they make it out to be. 
  3. However, if you’re a homebody and trying to stay near campus, why not try CVS on Wisconsin? I’m not kidding; this place is a goldmine. They have everything from snacks, to makeup, to Donald Trump shot glasses!
  4. Why not make it an early night at Epi? Sometimes Epi is more lit than the party (or in this case, Piano) itself. You’re guaranteed to see at least one person you know (and you know you wanted that quesadilla more than you wanted to be sweating it out on the dirty dance floor of Piano anyway).
  5. If you’re the typical Georgetown student who likes to talk about how much work they have, but never actually does it, why not spend the extra time studying? I hear (but don’t know from personal experience) Lau is open 24 hours a day. You can probably get some quality work done, considering your of age peers will be enjoying the bar you couldn’t get into. 
  6. Go to bed. Literally every single time I ask someone how they’re doing, they say tired. Instead of taking laps around Piano and waiting for the bartender to notice you until 2 AM, why not get some quality sleep in? Maybe the next day you won’t have to ban your roommate from drying her hair so that you can nap (sorry, Chiara!). 
  7. Stay in! Why risk it? It’s much safer to be caught partying by your RA than by the police. Grab some friends and have a good old sleepover filled with rounds of “Never Have I Ever” and “Truth or Dare.” I promise you’ll learn more about them that way than shouting over Piano’s sometimes cringey, sometimes decent music. These are just a few ideas for what you can do after being rejected from Piano, but feel free to explore other alternatives. Whatever you decide, 4E hopes you stay safe out there in this newly dangerous Georgetown bubble.

Gifs: giphy.com

The 5 Stages of Spring Break as Told by Corinne

Spring break is a little less than a week away. While most of you are cramming for that last midterm and quickly giving up on that “beach bod” you were so determined to get (back in January), you are so, so ready for a weeklong vacation. Also … in conjunction with spring break, the last few episodes of this season’s dramatic Bachelor on ABC will be airing. As an avid fan of “The Bachelor” franchise,  it is only fitting that I write an article narrating your likely stages of spring break as told by my favorite Bachelor villain/babe, Corinne Olympios.

4E presents your five stages of spring break:

Stage 1: The Stage of Pure Bliss
You’ve just arrived to your destination and you are ready to throw on that new swimsuit and get a drink in your hand ASAP. You feel motivated, excited and just plain relieved to be on vacation bliss instead of Lau 5.

Stage 2: The Stage of Debauchery
It’s been a day or so and you’ve really been taking advantage of your time without responsibilities (like, really taking advantage). You’re having fun and maybe having a few too many poolside Piña Coladas, but who’s counting. You may go out one night and dance on a few tables, but hey, this is spring break! No ragrets, right?

Stage 3: The Stage of Regret
Your head is pounding and you never want to see another margarita in a plastic cup again … let alone go anywhere near that poolside bar. You’re tired, hungry and just need some TLC. This may be in the form of a spa treatment or a relaxing shopping day or even a nice long nap. All you know is that last night was fuzzy and you need to lay low for a few hours.

Stage 4: The Stage of Exhaustion
Sometimes, a “college” spring break can be absolutely exhausting. You are constantly on the go, doing lots of activities and the sun can be rather draining. You’re sharing a hotel room with five people and you can only sleep max six hours a night. It’s like you need a vacation from your vacation and you just CAN’T EVEN.

Stage 5: The Stage of Reminiscing
Your spring break is almost over, and while you’re happy to get back on a normal sleeping schedule, you truly had the best time ever. You’re basically going to talk about this trip for the next three months and post lots of “take me back” posts on Instagram (#TBT). You can’t wait to tell the rest of your squad all about your amazing vacation, even if there were a few hiccups.

4E wishes all of you a wonderful and safe spring break.

Spoiler Alert: Corinne may be off the show, but we all know that we will be seeing much more of her in the future! #TeamCorn everyone!!!

Images: giphy.com

The Seven Stages of Weekend Drinking Regret

We all at some point in our college careers, whether once or twice, or every week, experience the Seven Stages of Weekend Drinking Regret. Here at 4E, we put together a step by step guide, complete with informational gifs, to help you better understand your fluctuating feelings of  weekend regret.

1. Sunday: Self-disgust

You wake up Sunday morning feeling crusty and like absolute trash. Your brain is in a haze and you enter a period of self-loathing and overall unproductivity. The two reliable constants of the day are the constant pounding in your head and your repeated mutterings of “Why did I take that last tequila shot?”

2. Monday: Mild Productivity

You may feel some twangs of post-hangover and regret, but you can get some work done. You attend classes and begin to look at assignments but you’re not 100 percent yourself yet.

3. Tuesday: Totally You

You’re feeling yourself. You’re getting work done, feeling on top of your game. This is the upward swing, the peak of the week. You might even be contemplating going to yoga and starting a juice cleanse.

4. Wednesday: Willpower Waning

It’s Hump Day! The week seems to stretch on forever. A couple of your girlfriends are having a wine night. One glass won’t hurt, right? You only have a 9 a.m. But no, you hold out until at least Thursday.

5. Thursday: Thirsty Thoughts

The week sucked. You got a C on that paper you thought you killed. Your roommate broke your blender and now all you want to do is cool off and have a beer. You casually sip on one brewsky because you’re not in the MSB and you have class on Friday.

6. Friday: Freedom

The week is over! You can’t wait to get drinks with friends before heading out for a night of dancing. You can’t even remember your regrets from last Sunday. Who was that loser? Let’s take a shot!

7. Saturday: Sipping Something

This morning you woke up with a hangover, but it’s okay. You’re sleeping until noon, going to brunch, then planning on going out to that new bar anyways. You’ll just sip the hangover away. This is when you enter peak denial phase, as you try to reason away that 10-page paper you have to wake up tomorrow and write!


Sunday: and repeat.


Disclaimer: The seven stages were created based on expert advice from 21-year-old, very legal friends.

Images/gifs: giphy.com, greatist.com

GUSA Presidential Debate Drinking Game: 2017 Edition

It’s that time of year again. No, not the time to start getting ready for darties, freaking out about that perfect outfit for spring break or stressing out about midterms. It’s something even more important than that!

It’s the 2017 GUSA election!

Even though it seems like every year the election sneaks up on us, it’s important that we are aware of each campaign’s platform. So in true 4E fashion, we have prepared the perfect drinking game for tonight’s presidential debate.

The presidential debate begins tonight, February 20th, at 7:30 p.m. in the HFSC. Let’s learn more about our candidates and have a libation in our hand at the same time (for 21+ students only). Stay classy and drink responsibly.

Take a small swig…every time a candidate or a question uses the following word(s):

  • Advocate
  • 2018 Campus Plan
  • Issues
  • Diversify
  • Unique perspective
  • Increasing engagement with administrators
  • Barriers
  • Platform
  • Involvement
  • Awareness
  • Grassroots
  • Corp coffee

Take a big swig…

Chug the rest of your drink and go cuddle with Jack the Bulldog…

  • If a heckler begins a “Fire JT III” chant.

Election day is February 23rd! Vote on and Hoya Saxa!

Images: giphy.com

How to Throw the Perfect Inauguration Day Party

January 20th 2017 is an important date for two reasons. First, it marks the inauguration of our nation’s 45th President and ushers in a new and unprecedented era in American history. Secondly, and much more importantly, it’s an official Georgetown University holiday, which means that we all get to be MSB students for a day and share in the luxurious experience of having no Friday classes! So if you’re searching for a fun way to spend your day off, look no further: we here at 4E have got you covered with some tips and tricks for the perfect Inauguration Day party.

Find the perfect spot to host

When you’re searching for the right place to throw your Inauguration Day bash, we recommend you choose a different location from wherever you hosted your Election Night party a few months ago- after all, nothing ruins a good party faster than terrifying flashbacks! Your best bet in terms of location is definitely the Village A rooftop. While you can’t really see the Capitol building from the roof, you can see the Washington Monument, which we all know provides the perfect patriotic background for that inevitable Inauguration Day Instagram, which you’ll probably post with an original, hilarious caption like #MakeAmericaLITagain

Invite some VIPs

To quote our next President, your party can’t be full of “losers and haters,” so when it comes to making your guest list, be sure to go the extra mile. Actually, you don’t even have to go a whole mile- just walk the few blocks to John Kerry’s house and invite him to your awesome party. He obviously can’t RSVP to your Facebook event for security reasons, so your safest bet is definitely to just go knock on his door and ask him face to face. His secret service agents totally won’t mind as long as you remember to extend the invitation to them as well. In the meantime, wander around campus and you’ll probably run into frequent Dahlgren Chapel-attendee, Joe Biden, or Georgetown’s favorite son and America’s favorite almost-first-husband, Bill Clinton. And after this election cycle, these guys are definitely ready to kick back and party, so be sure to toss an invite their way.

Make a playlist

No Inauguration Day party would be complete without the musical stylings of Trump’s new best friend, Kanye West. After the craziness known as the 2016 election, I don’t think any of us would even be surprised at this point if Kanye somehow ended up with a Cabinet position. In fact, we’re calling it now: we think a Trump/West 2020 ticket is in our future (in four years, remember you heard it here at 4E first!). And if Kanye’s ascent into the political arena is imminent, we must enjoy his musical genius while we still can. So at your party, be sure to “Runaway” from your fears about the next four years, ignore all those fake news stories and focus on the “Facts (Charlie Heat Version)” and remember that we can still be “Stronger” together even though Donald Trump will soon have all that “POWER” to “Run This Town.”

Choose beverages wisely

If you’re still feeling patriotic and want to make a political statement at your party, follow President Obama’s lead by enacting your own symbolic sanctions against Russia in the most college-way possible: boycotting Russian-brand vodka. In terms of what you can realistically afford, this basically means no Russian Standard and no Stolichnaya. Don’t worry, Smirnoff doesn’t count. If you’re looking for an alternative, we here at 4E recommend everyone’s favorite delicious (and American-made!) vodka, Burnett’s. For more information on this flavored poison refreshing beverage, check out some of our diligent research here.

There you have it: a few simple tips and tricks to make your Inauguration Day one to remember. And finally before we go, if you’re reading this, Mr. Trump (and based on your bizarre social media habits, there’s sadly good chance that you actually are), we wish you luck. Despite our differences, we hope that you prove us wrong and use these next four years to help lead our country in the right direction. But in the meantime, we here at 4E will continue to contribute to the “crooked media” by low key roasting you on a regular basis. Here’s to the next four years, neighbor.

Gifs: giphy.com, teepublic.com

Presidential Debate Drinking Game

Drinking game

To be blunt, we at The Fourth Edition are just plain sick of this year’s Presidential Election season. November 8th just cannot come fast enough. Luckily, tonight will bring us one step closer to Election Day. Ladies and gentlemen, the final Presidential Debate will be coming to you live from Las Vegas, Nevada on October 19 from 9:00 PM – 10:30 PM.

If the debate will be anything like the previous two, it may call for a tall glass of, uh, “water.” Check out our guide to drinking your way to Election Day, if you’re 21+ of course.

Our game will be broken up into 6 categories that mirror the 6 topics on the table tonight.

Immigration-
Drink when Trump mentions that big ole wall of his.

Drink when Hillary mentions “comprehensive immigration reform” again, and again, AND AGAIN.

Entitlements and Debt-
Our country is in debt. Big time. However, both Trump and Clinton have been conspicuously avoiding talking about the federal deficit. 4E’s advice is to actually pay attention for these 15 minutes, or at least until Hillary mentions eradicating student loans or Donald starts yelling. Or maybe Hillary will mention those cat gifs she loves watching so much.

Oh Hillary, you have so much whimsy.

The Supreme Court-
Drink anytime either candidate mentions their “short list.”

Drink if Trump applauds the Republican senators promise to block any Hillary Clinton Supreme Court Justice nominee.

The Economy-
Upon hearing “TTP” from either candidate, immediately go refill your glass.

Baby sips of that drink whenever Trump mentions “China” or “keeping jobs in the USA.”

Drink when Clinton calls for tax cuts for middle class, equal pay for women and simultaneously quotes her BFF Michelle Obama’s now famous speech from last week regarding the rights of women in America.

*shimmy shimmy shimmy*

Foreign Policy-
Drink if Trump says we have to “Make America Safe Again,” bomb ISIS first and definitely not let any refugees into our country.

Drink if Hillary sticks to her promise to honor the Iran Nuclear Deal and slyly mentions that she was the Secretary of State.

Fitness to serve as President-
Drink if Donald mentions that he called for a both he and Clinton to be drug tested before tonight’s debate.

Drink when Hillary turns a cartwheel on stage in an effort to prove how physically fit she is.

Drink Responsibly!!

Images: http://bit.ly/2dr4FWt, giphy.com

4E’s Official 2016 Olympics Drinking Game

olympics drinking gameThe 2016 Rio Olympics are finally in full swing and this means that we at 4E are getting ourselves familiar with how things are ~run~ this year. With our careful observations and out-of-the-box thinking, we have concocted the perfect drinking game for you and your 21+ friends to play while watching the world’s best athletes compete for the gold, silver and bronze medals. We #obvi know the USA will come out on top once again, but why not sip on some libations while watching our rise to victory?

Here are our 15 drinking rules for the 2016 Rio Olympics. Drink responsibly.

  1. Drink every time “Zika” is mentioned. 
  2. Drink every time “doping” is mentioned. 
  3. Drink every time you see a foreign company sponsor the U.S. Olympic team. 
  4. Drink every time you see a foreign country that you have visited in competition.
  5. Drink every time they cut to a nervous parent in the stands.
  6. Drink every time you see an Olympic athlete compete that is younger than you. 
  7. Drink every time Matt Lauer says “Wow!”. 
  8. Drink every time they show a replay. 
  9. Drink every time they mention Michael Phelps. 
  10. Drink every time announcers mention how Lebron is not on the USA team this year. 
  11. Drink every time someone breaks a world record.
  12. Drink every time you see a person in a bikini in the background of the announcer’s box.
  13. Drink every time you see a beautiful person. 
  14. Drink every time the U.S. wins a medal. 
  15. Take a shot every time the U.S. wins a GOLD medal. 

Hope you enjoy our official 2016 Olympics drinking game! #GoUSA

Images: giphy.com, http://bit.ly/2aTAD03

Last Chance Dance!

Banner - Dance LastThis year, the Senior Class Committee is bringing back a Hoya Tradition titled “The Last Chance Dance”. As such, you may be wondering: what the heck is a last chance dance? Apparently, it is one last attempt to help SWUGs like me find love before graduating. Apparently love is in the air tonight for all of the seniors desperate for one last date. Did you know that 75% of Hoyas marry other Hoyas?

barf

That’s just gross

While finding love at a dance in Copley formal sounds tempting, here are a few other things it might just be my last chance to do:

1) Smuggle food into in my purse.

Thinking back to my days as a freshman at Leo’s, always smuggling more than the two allotted bananas. This dance might be the last time for me to stuff a ridiculous amount of food in my bag and sneak it out.

eating

I’ll be enjoying you later

2) DFMO on campus.

I will never have the opportunity to get frisky at club Lau again (sigh), but I do have one more chance to DFMO in front of every senior and teacher I know in the middle of Copley formal. Although, Georgetown Day might provide another fine opportunity for this one.

3) Run through Georgetown barefoot.

Since the event is in Copley formal, I’ll likely have to ditch my usual SWUG attire in favor of some heels. But naturally, like any good drunk girl, I’ll want to keep them on too long. Thus, I’ll probably end up traipsing around campus, on my way to Tombs (of course), holding my shoes proudly above my head.

4) Pay a minuscule amount of money to drink my weight in wine.

Don’t you miss being a freshman and never having to pay money for alcohol? Ok, no one actually misses being under 21, but occasionally, I want to get a copious amount of drinks without spending more than $6. Purchasing that last chance dance ticket doesn’t sound so bad after all.

wine

So whether you’re truly looking for love, or just looking to have a good time: there is always a ~Last Chance~ for everything!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, ireneeng.com

Power Ranking of Drunk Epi Food

tumblr_static_junk_food_wallpaper_by_yume_fran-d31yapsWe’ve all been there: a pregame, two frat parties and a post game later, the drunkenness is high but the nausea is even higher. We at 4E have compiled a list of foods that have saved our lives at Epi on multiple occasions.

1. Quesadillas – Obviously a classic.

2. Onion Rings – Great for when you’re on a budget.

3. John Thompson – With corned beef, coleslaw and Russian dressing, this sandwich sops up alcohol like a shamwow.

4. Cool Ranch Doritos – Apparently they sell them there… who knew?!

5. Burger a la Georgetown – Order it with double veggie and feta cheese if you’re a guilty eater.
6. Smoking hot brisket – Did that smoking hot girl at the party ignore you? This sandwich definitely won’t do the same.

Sometimes, you do not have the mental capacity to pick a specific/complicated food (probably from all that studying). As one Epi-goer explained, “In real life, drunk me kind of just picks randomly off the menu.”

Here are the best of the random choices:

1. BBQ chicken pizza – You probably should get a whole pizza and maybe bring a friend along.

2. BLT – $3.25 and it’s greater than great.

3. BLT with avocado – Including tax it’s only $5.17. What a deal.

4. Other people’s fries – The move, always. Free food is always better than food you pay for.

While you should have so much fun at all the parties and stuff, try to keep yourself together enough to try these favorites from Epi.

*Remember that it’s good to eat and drink while drinking to avoid the dreaded ~hangover~
**Also remember the legal drinking age in the U.S. is 18 21

Photos/Gifs: huffingtonpost.com, gifmania.com, hellogiggles.com, tumblr.com

GOP Debate Drinking Game

150616_donald_trump_getty_1160_956x519Being back on the Hilltop means a lot of different things. For many of our newer Hoyas it means new friends, new clubs and new social interaction. But being here in D.C. makes one thing unavoidable: Politics. You might hate it, you might love it, but you certainly can’t avoid it. So why not embrace it!?

Many of you may know that the second GOP debate is tonight at 8 p.m. In the spirit of embracing politics and all that is best and worst about living in D.C., we have a debate drinking game to get you through tonight:

Take 1 drink if:

  • Donald Trump mentions building walls
  • Ben Carson talks about a cool surgery he has done
  • Anyone mentions Planned Parenthood
  • Chris Christie mentions the great state of New Jersey

joking

He’s joking right…..

  • Anyone personally attacks Trump (cough cough Jeb! Cough)
  • Anyone mentions being a “real” conservative
  • Anyone insults Hillary
  • Marco Rubio mentions Cuba
  • The candidates point aggressively at one another
  • Carly Fiorina mentions being the only female candidate

 

Good for you Glen Coco

Finish your entire drink if:

  • Deez Nuts makes a guest appearance in the debate. Deez Nuts 2016!

deez nuts

So there you have it folks — a way to make your debate experience more enjoyable all around. Whether you’re a Democrat or a Republican, I think we can all agree, everything goes down a little easier with a drink!

*Alcohol consumption is only legal for adults 21+ years of age.

*Please drink responsibly.

*If you have a tendency to throw things at your TV or others when angry, please drink EXTRA responsibly.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, tumblr.com infoogi.it