The Women’s March on Washington: Everything You Need To Know

You may have heard that this Friday, the 20th of January, 2017, The Donald will be sworn in as the 45th president of the United States. You definitely have heard that this monumental day has sparked anxiety and arguments across our nation and our world. It seems that a vast array of the President-elect’s former statements on little things like (let’s just name the R’s for brevity’s sake)  Race, Russia, and Rosie O’Donnell, to name a few, have left sums of people experiencing a range of emotions from outrage  to fear, to complete and absolute bewilderment. Many of these people belong to organizations that advocate for human rights, but others are those who are simply able to acknowledge basic human rights and threats to them.

You need to know that this Saturday, the 21st of January, upwards of tens of thousands of women are expected to gather in D.C. for the Women’s March on Washington. The Women’s March is not about Trump. It is instead about the many identities he fails to represent in both his decisions and his lived experiences.

Whether you’re attending in D.C., one of the hundreds of sister marchers around the planet, or there in spirit and solidarity…

Here’s everything you need to know:

Who: Originally created by a retired grandmother in Hawaii, the Women’s March has been taken on be activists and celebrities and grass-root organizers across the country. Over 40,000 people are expected to be in attendance in Washington on Saturday and hundreds of other marches are set to run in solidarity.

Why: Leaders of the March state that its purpose is to send a bold message on the very first day of Trump’s presidency that people are watching him, ready to advocate for their rights, safety, health, and families. (A full list of the principles they seek to protect can be found here with definitions).

What: While it is called the “Women’s March,” the purpose of the March is to advocate for a wide intersection of identities (see Vox’s explanation of Intersectionality here) that have been threatened by Trump’s statements and decisions. All who believe in equal rights are encouraged to attend.

Where: The official March will be starting off at the intersection of Independence Ave. and Third Street S.W.
Sites for the 616 and counting sister marches around the country can be found here.

When: Saturday, January 21th, 2017. The D.C. March begins with a rally from 10:00 AM-1:15 PM. The march will commence shortly afterwards.

How: The March has secured permits and protection from the city and will be put on through the help of volunteers. For up-to-date events and notifications download the app!

SEE YOU THERE!

Photos: womensmarch.com 

How to Throw the Perfect Inauguration Day Party

January 20th 2017 is an important date for two reasons. First, it marks the inauguration of our nation’s 45th President and ushers in a new and unprecedented era in American history. Secondly, and much more importantly, it’s an official Georgetown University holiday, which means that we all get to be MSB students for a day and share in the luxurious experience of having no Friday classes! So if you’re searching for a fun way to spend your day off, look no further: we here at 4E have got you covered with some tips and tricks for the perfect Inauguration Day party.

Find the perfect spot to host

When you’re searching for the right place to throw your Inauguration Day bash, we recommend you choose a different location from wherever you hosted your Election Night party a few months ago- after all, nothing ruins a good party faster than terrifying flashbacks! Your best bet in terms of location is definitely the Village A rooftop. While you can’t really see the Capitol building from the roof, you can see the Washington Monument, which we all know provides the perfect patriotic background for that inevitable Inauguration Day Instagram, which you’ll probably post with an original, hilarious caption like #MakeAmericaLITagain

Invite some VIPs

To quote our next President, your party can’t be full of “losers and haters,” so when it comes to making your guest list, be sure to go the extra mile. Actually, you don’t even have to go a whole mile- just walk the few blocks to John Kerry’s house and invite him to your awesome party. He obviously can’t RSVP to your Facebook event for security reasons, so your safest bet is definitely to just go knock on his door and ask him face to face. His secret service agents totally won’t mind as long as you remember to extend the invitation to them as well. In the meantime, wander around campus and you’ll probably run into frequent Dahlgren Chapel-attendee, Joe Biden, or Georgetown’s favorite son and America’s favorite almost-first-husband, Bill Clinton. And after this election cycle, these guys are definitely ready to kick back and party, so be sure to toss an invite their way.

Make a playlist

No Inauguration Day party would be complete without the musical stylings of Trump’s new best friend, Kanye West. After the craziness known as the 2016 election, I don’t think any of us would even be surprised at this point if Kanye somehow ended up with a Cabinet position. In fact, we’re calling it now: we think a Trump/West 2020 ticket is in our future (in four years, remember you heard it here at 4E first!). And if Kanye’s ascent into the political arena is imminent, we must enjoy his musical genius while we still can. So at your party, be sure to “Runaway” from your fears about the next four years, ignore all those fake news stories and focus on the “Facts (Charlie Heat Version)” and remember that we can still be “Stronger” together even though Donald Trump will soon have all that “POWER” to “Run This Town.”

Choose beverages wisely

If you’re still feeling patriotic and want to make a political statement at your party, follow President Obama’s lead by enacting your own symbolic sanctions against Russia in the most college-way possible: boycotting Russian-brand vodka. In terms of what you can realistically afford, this basically means no Russian Standard and no Stolichnaya. Don’t worry, Smirnoff doesn’t count. If you’re looking for an alternative, we here at 4E recommend everyone’s favorite delicious (and American-made!) vodka, Burnett’s. For more information on this flavored poison refreshing beverage, check out some of our diligent research here.

There you have it: a few simple tips and tricks to make your Inauguration Day one to remember. And finally before we go, if you’re reading this, Mr. Trump (and based on your bizarre social media habits, there’s sadly good chance that you actually are), we wish you luck. Despite our differences, we hope that you prove us wrong and use these next four years to help lead our country in the right direction. But in the meantime, we here at 4E will continue to contribute to the “crooked media” by low key roasting you on a regular basis. Here’s to the next four years, neighbor.

Gifs: giphy.com, teepublic.com

How Donald Trump Stole the Election

Trump RevisedIt’s that time of year again, the time when “All I Want for Christmas is You” is all we hear playing across the nation. It’s also that time when all the old-time films of our childhood, such as Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Elf, come back on ABC Family Freeform. Let’s just say it’s the most wonderful time of the year.

However, this holiday season is a bit different due to the shock that electrified the nation on November 8: Donald Trump, against all odds, won the presidency. Some Americans even refused to believe the media when the news broke.
Nevertheless, it was true: Trump turned out to be our future president. There are many reasons that explain why Trump became president, namely that many Americans refused to admit to their preferred candidate.

However, just as there were whispers of Hillary burning ballots, 4E brings you a new conspiracy theory: Donald Trump conspired to steal the election. In the holiday spirit, I will compare Trump’s campaign to Dr. Seuss’s beloved holiday story How the Grinch Stole Christmas to show how Trump accomplished this unprecedented feat.“Every Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot, but the Grinch, who lived just north of Whoville, did not!” Prior to this election, many (but definitely not all) Americans were content with society. However, Donald Trump was apparently NOT. Just as the Grinch sat on the top of Mt. Crumpit, brooding about Christmas, Trump sat at the top of Trump Tower, lamenting the situation of our country. But soon, he realized not all was lost.Trump got the idea to steal the election and ~Make America Great Again!~ Was it because his heart was three sizes too small? Biologically speaking this is humanly impossible. On the other hand, people once said it was impossible for Trump to win…Regardless of your politics, it’s clear that this election taught us that anything can happen. So, Donald set off on a quest to steal the election. Just as the Grinch donned his Santa suit and helped Max to be his reindeer, Donald did his hair and employed Melania, Ivanka and others to help him sweep the carpet out from under Hillary’s feet. As he raced ~down the slope~ toward Election Day, Trump had a wild time of campaigning in critical areas and also bullying other candidates (Read: @JebBush, @nastywoman). Just as the Grinch made himself out to be Santa, Donald made himself out to be the one who would save our country from corruption. Interestingly, Melania also made herself out to be quite a public speaker, but we all know where that came from.For the Grinch, Christmas Eve was the day of reckoning. Would his plan work? He proceeded to sweep all the decorations and food from the Whos’ houses and sneak out. Similarly, Trump swept through key states such as Florida, Wisconsin and Pennsylvania as Election Day progressed. However, as he continued to run away with the election, he encountered his version of Cindy Lou Who: Hillary herself. Just as all Cindy Lou wanted was presents, all Hillary wanted was to be president (but like really badly).She probably didn’t personally ask Trump why he was stealing her election, but she also didn’t have to; it was all part of Trump’s scheme to make this country great again. Soon enough, he was racing back up the electoral scale until the vote was finally over. Just as the Grinch triumphantly reached the top of Mt. Crumpit, Trump emerged from the election victorious at around 2 AM the next morning. And just as Trump heard Hillary’s supporters still pledging allegiance to her, the Grinch heard the Whos’ singing voices the next day.As we all know, the Grinch’s heart grew three sizes that day. Did Donald’s do the same? Maybe, considering he has called for unity among Americans. On the other hand, has he joined hands with Americans and sung Christmas carols? Evidently not, because the media would already have had a field day. On that note, let me leave you with one sobering thought: due to the similarities between these two stories, is it possible that Dr. Seuss actually wrote How the Grinch Stole Christmas in order to predict Trump’s election? Who knows, but like I said, anything is possible.

Photos/gifs: giphy.com, images.google.com

Thanksgiving FAQs

thanksgiving faqsIf you’re anything like us, you’re probably #hyped to be heading home for Thanksgiving. This is the perfect time to sleep in, eat some home-cooked meals and try not to think about how you’ll be back to eating Pringles out of the vending machine on Lau 2 at 3 AM in a few weeks.

But most of all, Thanksgiving is the perfect time to catch up with your family. To make sure your dinner table conversations with your relatives go as smoothly as possible, we’ve prepared some helpful Do’s and Don’ts for answering those fun Thanksgiving FAQs:

1. “So, do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?”

Do: Laugh casually and say something along the lines of “I’m too focused on my schoolwork to have time for a girlfriend” as you try not to think about the fact that you’re supposed to submit an essay you haven’t started yet by midnight.

Don’t: Mention the guy you met on the Vil A rooftop on Halloween. Don’t mention the guy from that Henle party the weekend before either.

2. “How about that election?”

Do: Change the topic as quickly as humanly possible. “Grandma, have you seen these hilarious Joe Biden memes?”

Don’t: Ask your relatives who they voted for. There’s a good chance that those of you in Wisconsin, Michigan, and/or Pennsylvania won’t like their answer.

Don’t: Think about the next four years. Your crippling anxiety is sure to put a damper on dinner.

3. “Are you eating/sleeping well?”

Don’t: Mention that you ran out of Flex Dollars two weeks into the semester and have resorted to signing up for clubs that you have no interest in for the sole purpose of getting free pizza at their meetings.

Don’t: Draw attention to the fact that you’ve gained the Freshman 15 despite the fact that you’re a junior.

Do: Say “O’Donovan’s at the Waterfront is an enjoyable and delicious dining experience. I frequently eat things other than chicken fingers there.” and “The fourth floor of New South is a quiet and relaxing place to sleep. Our RA does a great job of enforcing the noise rules.”

4. “How are classes?”

Do: Throw around some complicated-sounding buzzwords you’ve picked up from your IR class. “Hegemonic stability theory” and “Neoliberalist perspective” are two of my personal favorites. This is a great way to reassure your parents that you’re actually learning things and your tuition is money well spent.

Don’t: Mention that you haven’t actually gone to IR lecture in weeks and you’re less than 60% sure of what your TA’s name is.

5. “What’s a Hoya?”

Don’t: Worry about the fact that it’s been three years and you still don’t have a good answer.

Do: Just say any random sentence that combines the words “Stonewall” “Latin” “Greek” “a long time ago” and “Jack the Bulldog”.

So there you have it: some simple Do’s and Don’ts to make sure your Thanksgiving is a great one. From all of us here at 4E, safe travels and Happy Thanksgiving!

Gifs: giphy.com

25 Things to Expect on Election Day

Election Day

Four years ago at this time I was a sophomore in high school, wondering who would be running for president when I would finally be able to vote. Fast-forward to now, and let’s just say many of us are surprised by where we are today in terms of presidential candidates.

Now is the time we all have been waiting for. After all, many Hoyas look forward to Tuesday because being in D.C. will certainly make things interesting. As doomsday Election Day draws closer, people are undoubtedly wondering what the day will entail. As always, 4E is here to help you and present you with a list of things to expect on election day.

  1. Expect to wake up at 5:00 AM to the loud noises and chants of campus campaigners.
  2. You’ll probably step out of your dorm room and find your hallway wallpapered with pictures of Hillary, Donald memes and ads for those other candidates that you forgot existed.
  3. Leo’s will be full of people wearing campaign shirts, pins, hats, etc. You may see some joke shirts too (I don’t think we really need to go into depth on why). 
  4. You’ll walk into Red Square and witness a number of things, first and foremost, a great swarm of students.
  5. College Democrats will be rooting for Hillary.
  6. College Republicans will be rooting for well…we don’t really know, since the ol’Donald’s policies have been denounced by many Republicans on the Hill.
  7. Matthew Kroenig will be lecturing to the public on the current election situation and predicting what will happen to our country depending on what candidate wins.
  8. Some random student will also be trying to lecture. People will stand by to either listen or put it on their snapstory…
  9. …Leading to the next observation: Snapchat will be full of “I Voted” stickers and all sorts of filters for this special day.
  10. Some organization will have written (in chalk) messages about remembering love and peace during this election season (will they end up vandalized?).
  11. Finally, one last group of students won’t be campaigning for anyone, but just telling you to vote and fulfill your ~civic duty~.
  12. Dahlgren Chapel will be packed with students, faculty, locals and maybe even Joe Biden, all praying for neither candidate to win and for the next four years to be over quickly.
  13. Will Hillary Clinton herself make an appearance? She’ll probably be in Washington anyway, so why not head to a college campus?
  14. On a similar note, John Kerry will most definitely be seen around the neighborhood. You may see him around O Street or, like Hillary, possibly campaigning on our campus.
  15. If you see John Kerry, you’ll also see his security guards. Be sure to look if they seem slightly tipsy
  16. …Which leads to my next point: you may, in fact, see plenty of drunk Hoyas (21+ of course). Just as some played drinking games to get through the debates, some will drink to get through the day (let’s hope not for the next four years).
  17. Back to campaigning: will Eric Trump make an appearance at his alma mater? His father might want to balance the Dems’ campaigning efforts, so he may send Eric out from the golf clubs to do some #work.
  18. Later in the day, all the interns from Capitol Hill will return to campus. Some will talk about how they monitored results when in reality they were just getting Congressmen coffee.
  19. Expect some mild rioting throughout the day. No one’s happy, but no one’s going crazy…yet.
  20. Around the time that the results are announced, you’ll see a large crowd running out of the front gates. This isn’t a revolutionary force; it’s just GRC going on it’s White House run. Check it out- you’ll get to see all the craziness downtown.
  21. Walking through HFSC at this time, amid all the shouting, you’ll hear various news channels gauging the international response. From laughter to threats of nuclear war, expect foreign leaders to have a wide variety of responses.
  22. IF HILLARY WINS: Expect many people to relax, mostly out of relief that Trump wasn’t elected president against all odds.
  23. IF TRUMP WINS: Much of D.C. goes up in flames, along with a large part of the country. Expect mass rioting and looting throughout the city.

    Maybe not this drastic…
  24. Will anarchy spread to campus? It’s possible that some crazy students will rob various Corp locations of bagels and coffee beans. Tables in Lau could be overturned. Hoverboards may even make an appearance in apparent disregard for authority.
  25. And to finally close out the day, you’ll get that Public Safety Announcement from Todd Olsen and Jay Gruber, encouraging students to remain in their dorms and act responsibly, even though this election was just a disaster from the start.

On that note, there’s only one thing to say as we come up on one of the most controversial elections in American history: 

Photos/gifs: giphy.com, http://bit.ly/2fpYCnS

Throwback Thursday: Trump’s Presidential Bid

TBT Trump

More than a year ago today, on June 16, 2015, Donald J. Trump, the real estate mogul and reality TV star announced his presidential bid.

Fast forward some thirteen months, during which we’ve witnessed 403 spins of the earth, the development of Pokémon Go, the death of Prince, the continued rise of ISIS and the welcomed emergence of Mac n’ Cheetos, to the past few days… On July 21, 2016, our favorite head of hair to mock and its owner, Donald J. Trump, accepted the official GOP nomination for President of the United States.

Going back to a Mac n’ Cheetos-less time around a year ago, Trump’s bid announcement was met by many a comedic tweet. It is safe to say that since this spike in media coverage, the success of his campaign has come as somewhat of a surprise to many here in America and around the world. Let us go back to that fateful day in June of 2015 and ponder the things we would have thought to be just as feasible as Trump winning the nomination.

We would colonize Mars. While seemingly unlikely, this idea isn’t too far-fetched. Rumor has it: kids are already in training to be the first astronauts to go… or maybe this is just the making of the next Punk’d. Sound familiar?

A video game would infiltrate time and space.  Again, unlikely, but not unwarranted. To the surprise of parents and even global political leaders, Pokémon Go has made getting outside and playing video games at the same time a possibility.

Pigs would fly. While it may be physically impossible for pigs to grow wings and take off flying, it is likely that at some point today, a live pig will be on an airplane.

Britney Spears would make an unparalleled comeback rising to the top of the charts and maintaining her position as World Pop Idol for 100 days. This too, could happen.

Rather outlandish for sure, but not outside the realm of possibilities. There are many things we thought more feasible than the rise of Donald J. Trump. Moral of the story: Continue to think out-of-the-box, and before you know it, your dream/nightmare may very well become reality.

 

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, www.cnn.com

Where To Move If Donald Trump Becomes President

Banner - Trump MapWalking down M, lost in ICC and even in the depth’s of Lau, you hear the whispers: “where will I move if Donald Trump becomes president?” As the impossibility of a President Trump becomes ever more likely, people throughout our 50 states, and even territories (@Puerto Rico & @Guam), find themselves asking the question. So if you’re looking to say “America, you’re fired” if the former reality TV star becomes the next holder of our nuclear codes, and move out of here fast, 4E has a few ideas of where you could go.*

*Disclaimer: this post was not sponsored by Trump Realty, but in fact is an attempt for a freshman to begin studying for Map of the Modern World, by choosing random countries to search on Wikipedia.

Many people have decided to go straight to Canada if January 2017 brings a Trump inauguration. But while Canada is close and has great maple syrup, it’s going to get crowded really quickly. Even The New York Times published an article entitled “Fleeing Trump (or Clinton): Look Out, Canada, Here They Come” following Super Tuesday. So Canada may not be an option much longer…

But there is no need to panic. We have plenty of options for you!

Gabon, is an African nation located on the Atlantic Ocean. Its capital is Libreville which in French means free city. If you choose Libreville, you will be free from Donald Trump, in this lovely city. aeriel view of Libreville Gabon Africa

Guyana. The capital of this South American country is Georgetown, so it’ll be like you never left! Except it will be, because Guayana has rainforests and beaches and not snow.

If you’re thinking Europe for your next home, but you don’t want a mainstream country like say France, try Liechtenstein! It’s central location (see below) makes traveling quite simple. This small country has “more registered companies than citizens” according to Wikipedia. But maybe we can change that when Donald Trump becomes president!

Location of  Liechtenstein  (green)in Europe  (dark grey)  –  [Legend]

Nation of Brunei, the Adobe of Peace, otherwise known as Brunei, is an Asian nation on the South China Sea. I don’t know about you, but just the name of this seaside state screams not Donald Trump’s America! 

If none of these countries appeal to you, there is no need to worry! Below are a few more options for the more ~adventurous~…

Space

The transportation logistics may be a bit complicated, but there is plenty of ~space~ so bring the whole family!

The Bermuda Triangle

The Island from Castaway

*You in five months

And when everywhere else is full and you’re about to lose all hope just create a time machine! Chilling with the dinosaurs may be a better option than Trump’s America.

 

Pictures: reddit.com, wikipedia.com, africa.com

The Most Important Questions of the 2016 Election

Banner - Candidate QuizIt’s that time of year again! With all the primaries and campaigning going on around the country, election season is in full swing. For the political fanatics, it is indeed the most wonderful time of the year.

Many questions are asked about each candidate in order to see who is most fit for office. Topics ranging from foreign policy to health care come up in the famed debates that Georgetown students faithfully watch (and argue about) in the HFSC. While some students tear each other apart on subjects, the rest of us just sit here like:

Fortunately, we at 4E know what the people want. On that note, we are going to combine all those “important” questions by playing a simple game: WOULD YOU RATHER?. This will give you an idea of the candidates with whom you identify most closely, and thus can help you decide whom you should vote for in November. Note: this quiz does include candidates who have failed miserably dropped out of the race.

Photos/Gifs: images.google.com, giphy.com, wordpress.com

Word Wednesday: Yuge

tkpsnqhdzzo1y9lco6nsEvery Wednesday, we at 4E aspire to teach the rest of the Georgetown population about relevant and hip words that everyone should use in their everyday conversation.

This week’s “Word Wednesday” is all about “YUGE”.  As cited from Urban Dictionary, “YUGE” is a variation of the word HUGE used by Donald Trump.  Examples include “Hey Don, are you building that tower across 5th avenue?”  Donald: “Yes, it’s going to be YUGE!!”

And in case, you still don’t know what this may sound like, 4E has even included a video starring the very entertaining Jimmy Fallon and Trump himself.

Now here are some examples of “YUGE” can be used at Georgetown….

Hey Billy, are you going to that Brown House party tonight?  Billy: Yeah, it’s going to be YUGE!!!!

Hey Matt, are you ready for that Vineyard Vines sale on M St.?  Matt: Yeah, it’s going to be YUGE!!

Hey Ben, are you going to Chicken Finger Thursday this week? Ben: Yeah, it’s going to be YUGE!!!  

Thank you, Trump, for helping us out with our Word Wednesday.

This article in no way endorses Trump.

Videos/Gifs: youtube.com, giphy.com

For Immediate Release: We Were Robbed and We Understand Why

LEAVEY 421— It was with great shock we discovered the abduction of our beloved vacuum, Eureka, today, at the hands of The Georgetown Heckler.

The identity of the culpable group saddens us; this shift in relations between us and our previously earnest admirers is regrettable. Nevertheless, we should have assumed that a souring of our friendship would be inevitable. We have not published a piece on The Heckler in ages; this is obviously symptomatic of a cry for attention.

While we acknowledge the petulance behind this act, we refuse to coddle its perpetrators. Thus, we have taken action. We are holding Heckler staffer and former managing editor Connor Rohan (COL ’16) in a secure, undisclosed location until further notice. As you can see, he is still in good condition, though his mouth is not presumably operational (thank God).

IMG_2738*no Georgetown University Student Association vice presidents were actually harmed.