What Famous Hoya Are You?

College is a time of great uncertainty. Everyday, we ask ourselves: “What will I do with my life?” “Who will I be when I grow up?” “Why did I decide to major in English?”

We know these questions might seem scary, but 4E is here to help you procrastinate writing that essay for another five minutes discover who you really are. Take this quiz, and finally find an answer to the timeless question:

What Famous Hoya Are You?

 

Photos: tumblr.com

 

Summer 2017: Important News Updates (Part II)

As the final days of summer 2017 wind down and you start getting ready to argue with your parents about packing the car return to your home on the Hilltop, we here at 4E have compiled another helpful guide to the Most Important Things to Happen This Summer (Part II). Look no further for a definitive list of things to talk about when your TA goes around the room on the first day of class and makes everyone say one interesting thing about their summer.

1. The Dancing Hot Dog Snapchat Meme Became a Thing

The Dancing Hot Dog Snapchat Meme is the hero we didn’t know we needed. In the midst of a summer full of fidget spinning and erratic tweeting, the Dancing Hot Dog Snapchat Meme arrived to distract and delight us with his iconic dance moves. Easily identified by his signature green headphones and charming soft smile, the Dancing Hot Dog Snapchat Meme is one summer trend you’ll want to check out before it becomes unbearably annoying in the next few days.

2. Macauley Culkin Glowed Up

As evidenced by the massive popularity of HGTV home-improvement shows such as Fixer Upper and Flip or Flop, there’s nothing America loves more than a good Glow Up (also known as a “makeover”, for all my non-millennial readers out there). And Macauley Culkin is no exception. The actor best known for surprising home intruders certainly surprised us this summer with his stunning transformation. He initially went from being an adorable child star to being a not-so-adorable regular person, but these days, Macauley has reignited his film career and is looking better than ever! We here at 4E think that Mr. Culkin is giving Justin Timberlake a run for his money for the title of cutest former 90s icon.

3. Game of Thrones is a hit

This particular writer has never actually watched Game of Thrones, but social media assures me it is all the rage. Based on what I’ve seen from scrolling through my Facebook timeline and looking at magazine covers while waiting in line at the grocery store, it takes place somewhere cold, magic is part of it, and there is a character named “John Snow”. Also Ed Sheeran is a cast member. Based on that, I am pretty sure it’s like Harry Potter but with singing. Feel free to contact me and let me know if I’m correct. Also feel free to contact me and give me your HBO GO password so I can finally figure out what all the hype is about.

4. Chris Pratt and Anna Farris Broke Up

After the devastation of Josh not inviting Drake to his wedding back in June, I didn’t think summer 2017 could get much worse in terms of famous couples breaking up. But as you may have heard, I was wrong: Chris Pratt and Anna Farris officially announced their separation. Fans of Parks and Recreation and the Scary Movie franchise were heartbroken. If this adorable, hilarious couple couldn’t make it, what hope is there for the rest of us gross, boring couples out there in the real world? For the rest of 2017, we need to protect Kim and Kanye at all costs.

How we all feel right now

5. Donald Trump and His Staff Broke Up

In a series of  less-surprising public break ups, President Donald Trump parted ways with several high-ranking White House staffers this summer. First to go was Press Secretary and former White House Easter Bunny, Sean Spicer. While Spicer spent most of his tenure hiding in bushes and rewriting history in the briefing room, his time at the White House nevertheless gave us a chance to see Melissa McCarthy’s comedic genius shine on Saturday Night Live, and for that, we are thankful. Next up was Chief of Staff and guy who purposely used the word “nothingburger” to describe allegations of Russian collusion on live TV, Reince Priebus. Priebus is perhaps best known for being the shortest-serving Chief of Staff in American history, as well as looking uncomfortable in every photograph ever taken of him (see: google images for verification). Finally, after just 11 days, Trump bid farewell to Communications Director and probable future star of a The Sopranos reboot, Anthony “The Mooch” Scaramucci. The Mooch’s crowning achievements during his all-too-brief tenure  include missing the birth of his son to attend a rally and using some “PG-13” language in a notorious on-the-record interview that is probably not in accordance with Georgetown’s Jesuit values.

So there you have it: all the important things you need to know that have happened this summer. From all of us here at 4E, enjoy the last few days of freedom before you’re back in a cubicle on Lau 5.

Photos/Gifs: Giphy.com

Summer 2017: Important News Updates

While it seems like just yesterday we were gracing the floors of Lau with our last-minute study guides and caffeine-fueled tears, Summer 2017 is  officially in full swing nevertheless. We know it can be hard to keep up with the headlines when you’re away from the Hilltop, so we here at 4E have compiled a convenient list of the most important things to happen this summer (so far). Take a break from lying in bed binge-watching Netflix working hard at your prestigious internship and enjoy!

Taylor Swift Put Her Music Back on Spotify Like many of you, I endured the #struggle of having to actually purchase songs on iTunes after Taylor took all her music off of Spotify back in 2014 (full disclosure: “Shake It Off” is my anthem. I will likely walk down the aisle at my wedding to this song.) But a few weeks ago, T-Swift fans across the globe rejoiced as her songs suddenly reappeared on the music-streaming platform. Adding to the drama, this move not-so-coincidentally came on the same day as the album release of her famous frenemy, Katy Perry. In other words, Taylor Swift has taken the definition of “petty” to a whole new level this summer.

Beyoncé Had Twins As expected, Beyoncé gave birth to twins and continued her reign of ruling the universe that began way back in 1999 upon the release of “Say My Name.” While pictures of her twins have not yet been released at the time of this publication, we can confirm that they will undoubtedly be cooler and more stylish than I could ever hope to be, as evidenced by the fact that their older sister Blue Ivy is already way ahead of me in terms of both coolness and style.

With genes like this, the rest of us don’t stand a chance

“The Floor Is” Became the Hottest Meme Like many of you, our primary form of communication here at 4E is tagging one another in memes on various social media platforms. Based on our own personal experience, we can definitively say that “The Floor Is” is the hottest meme of the summer so far. For those of you who are over the age of 23 and/or those of you who somehow don’t spend every waking moment staring at your phone, here is Knowyourmeme.com’s official definition to help you better understand: “The Floor Is… refers to an exploitable two-panel photo series featuring  a person avoiding the floor, as they would in The Floor is Lava/Hot Lava Game. It has been used to make image macros about actions that one person will try their best to avoid doing.” See visual examples below.

The Trump Administration Left the Paris Climate Agreement This pretty much sums it up…

Josh Peck Didn’t Invite Drake Bell to His Wedding This one is by far the saddest moment of the summer and possibly even the saddest thing to happen to anyone ever. Josh did not invite the other half of “Drake and Josh: to his wedding. Across the world, millennials wept and wondered: how could this happen? Where did it all go wrong? Did we do something to cause this? Was Megan somehow involved? We may never know what exactly spurred the saddest breakup since the Jonas Brothers disbanded, but we can only hope that these two “brothas” will eventually move beyond this tragedy and hug it out.

Also, do we know if Amanda Bynes was invited? Asking for a friend.

So there you have it: the most important things to happen this summer…so far. Stay tuned for our next edition, and in the meantime, enjoy your summers!

Photos/Gifs/Sources: giphy.com, knowyourmeme.com, ryanair.com/blog, tumblr.com

Hillary is Coming to the Hilltop

If you’re anything like us here at 4E, you probably freaked out pretty hard when you found out Hillary was coming to campus. I mean, after all, What Dreams Are Made Of” is a modern classic.

But after watching “The Lizzie McGuire Movie” for the umpteenth time in order to prepare ourselves for what we thought would be the first stop in the 2017 Hillary Duff Comeback Tour, we noticed something a little odd about our email invitations to the event in Gaston Hall on Friday.

The invitation didn’t say Hillary Duff, it said Hillary Rodham ClintonThis couldn’t be.

Last we’d heard, the former Secretary of State and pantsuit-aficionado was lost deep in the woods of Chappaqua, New York with her dogs. We wanted to do something about it, but sending a search team to look for America’s most accomplished grandma isn’t a part of The Hoya‘s budget.

At first, we didn’t know what to think. After months of #FakeNews, we didn’t know if we could even trust our own eyes. But there it was right in front of us.

The Hon. Hillary Rodham Clinton is coming to the Hilltop!

Since the announcement, questions have arisen.

  1. Do we get in line at 3 AM or 4 AM?
  2. Should we wear that old campaign T-shirt we haven’t been able to look at since November 8th without vigorously crying?
  3. Will she mention Trump?
    (Editor’s note: In a perfect world, he would show up at the speech too and they’d have a wizard’s duel à la McGonagall and Snape in “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows” over the presidency but hey, we get that that might be asking for a little too much. In fairness though, Healy Hall has always reminded us of Hogwarts.)

Whatever Hillz says, we’re sure it’ll be memorable. Almost as memorable as that time she won the popular vote by a few million votes and somehow still didn’t become president! Hahaha you’re so funny @ElectoralCollege! We’ll never get over that one! #TBT

Oh and Bill, if you see this, feel free to come too. We promise to get you lots of balloons.

Sources: giphy.com, tumblr.com, buzzfeed.com

Best of Georgetown’s Facebook Meme Page

For the past several months, meme culture has permeated the very fabric of American society. Everywhere you look, there are dank (or not so dank) memes. Despite the seemingly ubiquitous nature of memery, there has been a noticeable void on Georgetown’s campus… until now. In the past few weeks, the Facebook page known as “Georgetown Memes for Nonconforming Jesuit Teens” has taken the Hilltop by storm, with memes made by and made for Georgetown’s very own Hoyas.

This page really tackles some hot issues at Georgetown with prime memery. Here, we’ve compiled some of the most ~fire~ of these memes for your viewing pleasure:

Ita Uduebo takes on the ridiculous pressure and exclusivity of club culture at Georgetown with this incredible meme:

Emily Saadi similarly offers some quality satirical commentary on diversity at Georgetown:

John Matthews contributed a quality meme on being blatantly unprepared for class, as I am sure many Hoyas can relate to:

There have been a number of impressive Leo’s memes as well. Allison Kozeracki, for instance, contributed this beautiful one:

Lastly, Sayako Quinlan contributed one of my personal favorite memes on the culture of relationships at Georgetown. Truly an A+ meme:

While these are just a few of 4E’s favorites, join the “Georgetown Memes For Non-Comforming Jesuit Teens” Facebook group for an even wider selection of prime meme material. I look forward to getting that notification that “_____ has requested to join.”

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, bbc.co.uk

Things Worth Loving This Valentine’s Day

Down with capitalistic consumer culture that tells us that showering in materialism one day a year is a necessary approach to demonstrating our care for a significant other! Down with societal expectations that promote monogamy, heteronormativity and tacky, giant, useless teddy bears bound for eventual landfill!

Why just celebrate one person one day a year when you are surrounded by people and things worth loving every day, all of the time?!

Here’s 4E’s take on things that are truly worthy of love and celebration this Valentine’s Day:

Epi’s salad bar

DeGioia’s smile

Healy Lawn

The Office

Bathroom Stall Art

Peets!

70 degree weather in February

Tinder

Free cake samples at Dog Tag Bakery

GUPD officers who smile

Arrupe’s study spaces

Arrupe being called Arrupe

NPR Politics

Leo’s vegan options

Yates midday

The Law Center GUTS bus

Lau’s free feminine product dispenser

Super Bowl commercials that promote unity

A friend’s baby photos

Your grandparents

Bitmojis

Peanut butter

The Smithsonian Museum of African American History and Culture

Lau’s book request system

Research grants

Sunshine

Fluffy dogs

Naps

Big dogs

Netflix

Little dogs

Booeymonger

Rumchata

If you’re still reading this and feel as though your qualms for the holiday have not subsided, here’s a list of things you might not love, but nonetheless could make you more grateful today for the things that you do love.

Here are things to also love today:

Donald Trump’s twitter

Expired groceries

The patriarchy

Systematic inequality

Georgetown’s rising tuition

Racial disparities

Antisemitism

Being ghosted

Canada Goose jackets

People who walk slowly

Read receipts

Saxanet

Poor customer service

Class with your ex

Classism

Corp coffee

Splitting the check

Partisanship

The Metro

Weekly assignments

Rejection

2k17’s lack of snow days

Gifs: giphy.com

Dating Advice from Donald Trump

Hear ye, hear ye! A proclamation to all the Georgetown romantics looking for or currently involved in a loving relationship: Valentine’s Day is just around the corner! You may think that you are an expert on the lovely world of dating, but there can only be one true master. And that master just happens to be the President of the United States. We here at 4E have searched for and archived some of our new President’s greatest pieces of advice just for you!

Follow this advice and you can be            just like The Donald!

Have no tolerance for cheaters.

The fall of 2012 was a rocky time for everyone’s former favorite celebrity couple, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. With allegations of cheating by Kristen Stewart running amuck, many were outraged–including America’s very own, Donald Trump.

In the span of approximately one month, our President tweeted a total of 6 times voicing his opinions on what Robert Pattinson should do about his former partner’s infidelity. The rampage begins with the following remarks made on October 17, 2012:

While this tweet includes a few troubling remarks, the overall message is clear–Robert Pattinson should not tolerate cheating and neither should you.

Have high standards for yourself.

Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are not the only celebrity couple Donald Trump felt the irresistible desire to weigh in on. He also simply had to tell the world his opinion of Katy Perry and Russel Brand as well. On October 16, 2014, Donald Trump sent the following tweet.

Considering he is the father of two daughters, it should come as no surprise that Donald Trump has taken the “over-protective-dad” approach to this one. He only wants the best for Katy and you. Find yourself a significant other who’s got more going on than Russel Brand and don’t settle for anything less.

@RusselBrand

Don’t date unattractive people (inside and out).

On August 28, 2012, Donald Trump offered a compliment to the husband of Arianna Huffington for his decision to divorce his wife.

Donald Trump raises some very important points here. Physical and emotional attraction are key for any relationship to flourish. In this tweet, Donald Trump also displays a clear understanding of how sexuality works–Arianna Huffington’s former husband was clearly so repulsed by the unattractiveness of his wife that he became gay.

If this does not show Donald Trump’s support of LGBTQ rights, I don’t know what does.

Don’t date your daughter.

While I thought this was an unspoken rule, Donald Trump has made it very clear that you should not, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, date your daughter–no matter how attracted you are to her.

Donald Trump has often made remarks on the physical beauty of his daughter, Ivanka, in the past. In fact, on one 2006 episode of ABC’s “The View,”  “If Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.” I guess a biological, paternal relationship is simply an unfortunate deal breaker for our president.

That’s it for now kids! If you simply follow Donald Trump’s advice, you will wake up on Valentine’s Day with a relationship as strong and genuine as his and Melania’s.

Photos/gifs: twitter.com, giphy.com 

Overheard at President Trump’s Inauguration

Well, it’s official: Donald Trump is The President of the United States. And while I’m sure all of you spent Friday, January 20th making signs for the Women’s March watching the inauguration ceremony, here are some of the best “Overheard at Inauguration” moments that you may have missed, courtesy of your friends here at 4E.

1. “Donald Trump, have my babies!”
-Yelled by a teenage boy during the Oath of Office

2. “This is the best day of my life!”
-A man without a jacket in the midst of the pouring rain

3. “I knew he was going to be President ever since the first time I  watched The Apprentice.

4. “Wait, I thought Ivanka was Trump’s wife?”

5. “If I knew he was going to win, I don’t think I would have voted for him.”

*as it started to rain*

6. Girl in the Crowd: “Rain Drop!”
Group of Trump Supporters: “Drop Top!”

As evidenced by that last one, there is still some good left in the world.  In the meantime, feel free to comment your own “Overheard” moments in the comments section below, because remember, there is (sadly) a good chance that the Leader of the Free World is reading this article as we speak!

Gifs: giphy.com

The Women’s March on Washington: Everything You Need To Know

You may have heard that this Friday, the 20th of January, 2017, The Donald will be sworn in as the 45th president of the United States. You definitely have heard that this monumental day has sparked anxiety and arguments across our nation and our world. It seems that a vast array of the President-elect’s former statements on little things like (let’s just name the R’s for brevity’s sake)  Race, Russia, and Rosie O’Donnell, to name a few, have left sums of people experiencing a range of emotions from outrage  to fear, to complete and absolute bewilderment. Many of these people belong to organizations that advocate for human rights, but others are those who are simply able to acknowledge basic human rights and threats to them.

You need to know that this Saturday, the 21st of January, upwards of tens of thousands of women are expected to gather in D.C. for the Women’s March on Washington. The Women’s March is not about Trump. It is instead about the many identities he fails to represent in both his decisions and his lived experiences.

Whether you’re attending in D.C., one of the hundreds of sister marchers around the planet, or there in spirit and solidarity…

Here’s everything you need to know:

Who: Originally created by a retired grandmother in Hawaii, the Women’s March has been taken on be activists and celebrities and grass-root organizers across the country. Over 40,000 people are expected to be in attendance in Washington on Saturday and hundreds of other marches are set to run in solidarity.

Why: Leaders of the March state that its purpose is to send a bold message on the very first day of Trump’s presidency that people are watching him, ready to advocate for their rights, safety, health, and families. (A full list of the principles they seek to protect can be found here with definitions).

What: While it is called the “Women’s March,” the purpose of the March is to advocate for a wide intersection of identities (see Vox’s explanation of Intersectionality here) that have been threatened by Trump’s statements and decisions. All who believe in equal rights are encouraged to attend.

Where: The official March will be starting off at the intersection of Independence Ave. and Third Street S.W.
Sites for the 616 and counting sister marches around the country can be found here.

When: Saturday, January 21th, 2017. The D.C. March begins with a rally from 10:00 AM-1:15 PM. The march will commence shortly afterwards.

How: The March has secured permits and protection from the city and will be put on through the help of volunteers. For up-to-date events and notifications download the app!

SEE YOU THERE!

Photos: womensmarch.com 

How to Throw the Perfect Inauguration Day Party

January 20th 2017 is an important date for two reasons. First, it marks the inauguration of our nation’s 45th President and ushers in a new and unprecedented era in American history. Secondly, and much more importantly, it’s an official Georgetown University holiday, which means that we all get to be MSB students for a day and share in the luxurious experience of having no Friday classes! So if you’re searching for a fun way to spend your day off, look no further: we here at 4E have got you covered with some tips and tricks for the perfect Inauguration Day party.

Find the perfect spot to host

When you’re searching for the right place to throw your Inauguration Day bash, we recommend you choose a different location from wherever you hosted your Election Night party a few months ago- after all, nothing ruins a good party faster than terrifying flashbacks! Your best bet in terms of location is definitely the Village A rooftop. While you can’t really see the Capitol building from the roof, you can see the Washington Monument, which we all know provides the perfect patriotic background for that inevitable Inauguration Day Instagram, which you’ll probably post with an original, hilarious caption like #MakeAmericaLITagain

Invite some VIPs

To quote our next President, your party can’t be full of “losers and haters,” so when it comes to making your guest list, be sure to go the extra mile. Actually, you don’t even have to go a whole mile- just walk the few blocks to John Kerry’s house and invite him to your awesome party. He obviously can’t RSVP to your Facebook event for security reasons, so your safest bet is definitely to just go knock on his door and ask him face to face. His secret service agents totally won’t mind as long as you remember to extend the invitation to them as well. In the meantime, wander around campus and you’ll probably run into frequent Dahlgren Chapel-attendee, Joe Biden, or Georgetown’s favorite son and America’s favorite almost-first-husband, Bill Clinton. And after this election cycle, these guys are definitely ready to kick back and party, so be sure to toss an invite their way.

Make a playlist

No Inauguration Day party would be complete without the musical stylings of Trump’s new best friend, Kanye West. After the craziness known as the 2016 election, I don’t think any of us would even be surprised at this point if Kanye somehow ended up with a Cabinet position. In fact, we’re calling it now: we think a Trump/West 2020 ticket is in our future (in four years, remember you heard it here at 4E first!). And if Kanye’s ascent into the political arena is imminent, we must enjoy his musical genius while we still can. So at your party, be sure to “Runaway” from your fears about the next four years, ignore all those fake news stories and focus on the “Facts (Charlie Heat Version)” and remember that we can still be “Stronger” together even though Donald Trump will soon have all that “POWER” to “Run This Town.”

Choose beverages wisely

If you’re still feeling patriotic and want to make a political statement at your party, follow President Obama’s lead by enacting your own symbolic sanctions against Russia in the most college-way possible: boycotting Russian-brand vodka. In terms of what you can realistically afford, this basically means no Russian Standard and no Stolichnaya. Don’t worry, Smirnoff doesn’t count. If you’re looking for an alternative, we here at 4E recommend everyone’s favorite delicious (and American-made!) vodka, Burnett’s. For more information on this flavored poison refreshing beverage, check out some of our diligent research here.

There you have it: a few simple tips and tricks to make your Inauguration Day one to remember. And finally before we go, if you’re reading this, Mr. Trump (and based on your bizarre social media habits, there’s sadly good chance that you actually are), we wish you luck. Despite our differences, we hope that you prove us wrong and use these next four years to help lead our country in the right direction. But in the meantime, we here at 4E will continue to contribute to the “crooked media” by low key roasting you on a regular basis. Here’s to the next four years, neighbor.

Gifs: giphy.com, teepublic.com