Clock Thieves Use the Barter System (or should we say barker system?)

If you’re in the market for some clock hands (here’s looking at you, Healy Clock Tower), they’re now available for barter over on College Craig. In a listing that went up earlier this afternoon, we found another clue in the Mystery of the Missing Clock Hands. The culprits, going by the aliases of Reaper, Goliath and Juliet posted this poem:

Our friend runs but cannot walk, at times sings but never talks, 
He looks down on us all from a tower so tall.
And as graduation comes closer you’ll all want to recall
that time when you did the most daring act of all.

We’ll give you a “hand” if you’re willing to trade
for a campus celebrity who has recently made
quite the build up for just a little pup.

We have your key to make Hoya history
And since we’re not much for publicity 
we’ll give it back in double, but don’t want any more trouble.

The semester is getting late so stand down
bring us the dog and wait wait wait”

Hoya Saxa!
Reaper, Goliath, and Juliet

So Georgetown, looks like we’re faced with a pressing question – is the trade of Jack Junior for the Healy clock hands a fair one?

Photos: Flickr and Georgetown University

Who Stole the Hands from Healy Clock Tower?

For the first time in years (since 2005 to be exact), the hands have been stolen from Healy Tower. For those not familiar with the tradition, Wikipedia has a helpful summary:

Historically, students would steal the hands and mail them to the Vatican, where they are supposed to be simply stamped ‘return to sender’ and returned to the university. One such incident caused significant damage to the clock mechanism, however, and security has been increased as a result in recent years, decreasing the incidence of the theft. These measures have not prevented students from successfully obtaining the hands however, as they are captured every five to six years.

But the big question remains – who’s responsible for today’s shenanigans? While DPS investigates the situation, we’ve rounded up the usual suspects to see who might have the best motivation to scale the tower.

WGTB They were  the first to report that the clock hands had been stolen, beating both The Hoya the the Voice to the punch. In an effort to earn the recognition they deserve as a campus media outlet, perhaps some rogue WGTB members nabbed the hands and went straight to Twitter.

The Voice Or maybe it was another campus media group – our friendly rivals over at Vox Populi are acting like they don’t know the thieves’ identities, but that could all be a ruse.  Hey Vox, we’ve got our investigative journalism pants on too (they’re a little snug).

DPS Breaking up dorm parties and enforcing GOCard checks in Lau doesn’t make for the most exciting life. They hold the keys to all the buildings on campus, and nobody would question them heading into Healy at odd hours of the night. Who’s to say that DPS didn’t do this themselves to liven up finals season?

The Corp Not ones to shy away from big marketing ploys (I heard something about free slushies? for life??), the Corp could be behind this. We’re just waiting to see what goes up in place of the regular hands – Corp storage boxes? T-Shirts? Slushie machine?

The Tombs Not content to decorate their walls with rowing paraphernalia alone, a few brave Tombs waiters pulled themselves up by their bow ties to grab the hands off of Healy Tower.

Class of 2012 Our most likely culprits. If it’s true, they’re going out in a blaze of glory before graduation that we can only aspire to match. Come forward, brave souls! We would love to shake your hands (and add your names to the Wikipedia page for Healy Hall).

Photo: Michelle Cassidy/The Hoya

How to Enjoy Georgetown Day, Regardless

The traditional celebration of the last Friday of classes will undoubtedly be a little different this year. But don’t let a few metal barricades security checkpoints get you down – after all, we still have a dunk tank! Here are a few ways to make sure your Georgetown Day is a great one, bag checks be damned.

Explore Sure, in past years the day has been centered around Healy and Copley lawns. Just because there are fences on Copley doesn’t mean there’s no fun, Copley will host tons of activities and performances, so don’t avoid it. And yeah, there’s only water to drink, but staying hydrated is important when you’re day drinking. But you don’t have to be on the lawn all day; the Esplanade is now an alternative, and there are plenty of other spots around campus to hang out.

Pace yourself It’s a marathon, not a sprint. Most people start early, and if you don’t want your night to end before the sun goes down, you should reconsider that 8 a.m. power hour.

Bring a snack Yo, snacks are great. Before you venture outside, stick a couple granola bars or an apple in your fanny pack (also, acquire a fanny pack). You’re going to high five yourself for your foresight in a few hours when everyone else is waiting in a super long line for hamburgers.

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Where will you be this Saturday?

This weekend is sort of like a choose-your-own-adventure book (remember those?). It starts with a fabulous introduction, in the form of all-out Georgetown Day celebration and the second part is up to you. Will  it  be delightfully preptastic Foxfields or chill times at Sweeetlife?

FOXFIELDS

At this point in the week, you’ve probably already made your decision and that’s the first con against Foxfields.  You can’t just spontaneously decide the morning off that you’d like to engage in a day of garden party style debauchery. Everyone wants to party with a hat on but getting to this Charlottesville shindig requires weeks of preparation.

And let’s be honest, the bus ride is the most important part of the trip so if you’re not with a good group of your friends, it’ll be much less of a fun time.

But the whole premise of Foxfields is still genius. It’s a champagne brunch on wheels to a racetrack full of people all in the same mindset.  I think it’s pretty hard to go wrong with that recipe.

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