REVIEW: ‘The GUSA Sabotage’

 

In creating The GUSA Sabotage, Kwamz Garcia effectively accomplished (potentially without even trying) a hilariously epic parody of GUSA elections and the people involved in them.

From the ridiculous fight scene featuring GUSA campaign office security guards to the premise of the entire plot (if we could call it a plot at all, much of the dialogue was lost behind too-loud, ominous music), this 11-minute spectacle is a must-watch for anyone that spends an inordinate number of hours in Leavey Center. This film creates the idea that Georgetown now not only has GUSA campaign managers but also has campaign “fixers,” an idea way too believable to not laugh along with as the “Dalvster” wreaks havoc on the lives of the super-involved.

The GUSA Sabotage is complete with cameos by Murphy Kate Delaney, Andi DeBellis and our star himself, Dalvin Butler of SAC campaign video and Hoya Experience fame, which further add to the ridiculous imagining of the scattered plot. And, no joke, the film features skyline shots, seductive hair flips, and “WHO SENT YOU” Bond-esque scenes to boot.

While Kwamz Garcia almost steals the show as the Dalvster’s enforcer, five stars go out to the Dalvster himself for not only perfecting the villain laugh but also recognizing that controlling “all of” The Corp grocery stores would bring Georgetown to its knees. (See Hurricane Sandy for proof.)

While The GUSA Sabotage fails to reach the heights of the feature-length Georgetown Forever, The GUSA Sabotage team manages to showcase the almost believable potential for a House of Cards-ian development of GUSA politics and give everyone a long laugh about it in the process.

THE GUSA SABOTAGE: OUR NEW FAVORITE MOVIE

The GUSA executive campaign season is always high-tension, dramatic, suspenseful and relevant to everyone on campus. Do you know what else is high-tension, dramatic, suspenseful and relevant to everyone on campus? Awesome and entertaining action movies.

Well, thanks to GUTV, we can get a glimpse into what it would be like to meld these two things together. Enter “The GUSA Sabotage.” It hasn’t even been released yet, but I just know that it’s going to be my favorite movie of all time. Here is a list of five things I think could be expected from this movie:

1. A fight scene worthy of the next Bond movie Because let’s be real: Who doesn’t want to see Dalvin Butler get up from his Hoya Experience interviewer’s chair and just dropkick someone directly in the face?

2. A surprise cameo Will it be DeGioia endorsing a candidate? Will it be current GUSA executives Clara Gustafson and Vail Kohnert-Yount passing on their titles? Or will it be The Hoya’s campus news editor, Emma Hinchliffe, writing a tell-all front-page piece about the titular “GUSA sabotage”? Only time will tell.

3. A lot of shots of well-known Georgetown landmarks Just so that the target audience gets the satisfaction of getting to say “Oh! I totally know where that was shot”. Maybe it will be a new line in the Blue and Gray tours: “So here are the exorcist stairs and here is the place where Ben Bloom shot his most famous scene in The GUSA Sabotage. No flash photography please.”

4. Aggressive Red-Square flyering and Lau 2 tabling Because it just wouldn’t be a GUSA campaign (fictional or not) without them.

5. Bradley Cooper will be in it Wishful thinking, but maybe the Georgetown grad will grace us with his presence in what is sure to be an Oscar-worthy role for him.

So Hoyas, did I miss anything? What else would you like to see in “The GUSA Sabotage”? Leave a comment here on the blog and who knows? Maybe director Nicholas Sennott will see it and incorporate it!