Am I Too Old For This?

As you sip a Natty at a crowded pregame or wait in line for ~another~ Epi Quesadilla, some of you upperclassmen out there might be pondering a timeless question. To help you find answers, we here at 4E have compiled a list of ten things that you can and can’t do after your freshman year. So pause for a moment and ask yourself…

Am I too old for this?

1) Taking a basic picture of Healy Hall. We all did this within our first days on the Hilltop, and, though we cringe at others for snapping the famed clocktower, most still look at Healy in awe.

Verdict: No, but expect some judgement.

2) Going to frat basement parties. Though I have gone on my fair share of SAE Foxfield buses or Zeta Psi booze cruises, frat parties feel increasingly more like events for freshman. Please let my days of partying in a suspiciously wet Sig Ep basement be over. I would take a Piano Bar night filled with only adults over this. Enough is enough. That being said, the frat boys and pledge bros are still wonderful.

Verdict: Probably yes, unless you are in a frat, in which case, please attend your own events.

3) Waiting in the Georgetown Cupcake line. I didn’t even do this as a freshman because WHO HAS THE TIME?? Waiting 40 minutes for a $4 cupcake with too much frosting is never worth it.

Verdict: Yes, go to Baked & Wired instead.

4) Attending Jersey Night or Thursday Chi Di. Does anyone care?

Verdict: see you all there!!!

5) Getting lost on campus. Our campus is literally 1/18 the size of a state school’s, so I’m pretty sure you should know every building after a few months. Specifically, I mean people struggling with Maguire. I don’t understand why this is the specific location no one can find. The Jesuits are judging you!

Verdict: Get a map. Then again, it’s totally fine if we’re talking about the ICC.

6) Drinking Burnett’s. Not everyone is too old for this, but I can say with some certainty, while nursing my current raging hangover, that I should be upgrading beyond the likes of Mango Burnett’s. I am only too old for this in the ~health~ way. Will I give it up? Likely not — I have a budget.

Verdict: Yes, but who cares?

7) Referencing the Georgetown meme page. Judging by my alumni friends who find the meme page hilarious, there’s no harm in still talking about a classic “Everyone from Georgetown lives in New Jersey or Connecticut”.

Verdict: No, keep tagging away.

8) Village A Rooftop Parties. Power to you if you get there before GUPD shuts it down. Nevertheless, it remains a classic spot on Homecoming and Georgetown Day.

Verdict: Yep…  it’s never worth it to be honest.

9) Applying to clubs. While the process certainly becomes more cynical as you get older, you should join anything you want at any age. (I hear 4E accepts freshmen to seniors).

Verdict: No, college is about finding yourself and all that #wholesome.

10) ~Hanging out~ in a freshman dorm. Do you!!!!! Just be safe!!!!!!!!!

Verdict: Just don’t go to Darnall.

And with that, we hope you act your age!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, knowyourmeme.com

Cupcake ATM…?

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Rumor has it that Sprinkles cupcakes tried to make a cupcake ATM on M street. This would be kind of sick – you could walk up to the store, type in your selection and a perfectly frosted cupcake would be delivered straight to your outstretched hand. It was slated to open last fall, but for some unfortunate reason it never did.

Although this walk-up ATM would have been super cool, it’s really nothing compared to these crazy drive-thru’s:

Stanford Hospital and Clinics: Stanford made a drive-thru emergency room for highly contagious patients.

Ottawa Public Library: A Canada library opened a 24-hour drive-thru window. I didn’t even know Canadians could read. Whoops.

Double Shot Liquor and Guns: This Texas drive-thru obviously sells both guns and booze. This sounds really dangerous.

Adams Funeral Home: A funeral home in California allows mourners to pay their final respects to the deceased in a large glass display window. I think it is the largest cause of nightmares in the United States.

The Donut Hole: This might have been the inspiration for Sprinkles’ ATM. Customers drive through a huge donut to get to the pickup window. Getting donuts inside of a donut? Donut-ception.

Compared to these unconventional and mildly sacrilegious establishments, we have no idea why Sprinkles’ cupcake ATM failed. Hopefully they’ll try again this year.

Photos: forbesimg.com

Uber Delivers Kittens Today

kittensUber is delivering kittens today! Because it’s National Cat Day so naturally a taxi driver should arrive at your doorstep with a kitten and UberKITTENS swag. The kittens are coming to Austin, Chicago, Seattle, New York, Phoenix, San Francisco and D.C. (THAT’S US)!

kittens-gifIf you live in any of these cities you can order a kitten between noon and 4 p.m. today and have the little kitty for a 15 minute cuddle and petting session.  You can get your kittens and UberKITTENS swag on-demand for $30 by using promo code KITTENSDC.

Can it get any better? YES! All of the money will be donated to the Washington Humane Society.

Could it get any better? Yes.

YOU CAN KEEP THE KITTENS!

All you have to do is ask the shelter representative who will be assisting with handling the kittens about adoption.

Today is a beautiful day ladies and gentlemen. Enjoy the cuddles.

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Weird Things That Happen to You on Long Runs

poorforrestI, like many Hoyas, have been training for the Nike Women’s Half Marathon that’s coming up in D.C. In doing so, I have reluctantly been on many long and interesting runs around the city. Here are some weird things that I’ve experienced while running with which any fellow runner could probably sympathize.

1. Running by Georgetown Cupcake. 

If you’re running around Georgetown and happen to turn down 33rd, running by the line of people contently waiting for delicious treats while you force yourself to keep pushing through the cramps that have already developed in the 6 blocks it has taken you to get there just isn’t the most motivating thing while you think about the 8 left to go.

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2. Stopping at red lights. 

It’s just inconvenient. You just got a good pace going, and now you’re standing in a crowd of well-dressed city people who are also waiting to cross the street. Except you’re kind of jogging in place and panting and sweating all over them. I can’t imagine they enjoy it. spngbobmaxim3. Dealing with your headphones.

It could probably be scientifically proven that it is impossible to complete an entire distance run without either your headphones falling out of your ears or the wires tangling around your arms, hands and neck. So not conducive to trying to look super fit and athletic. It’s also not conducive to breathing, which is a problem.

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4. Smiling/waving at other runners who don’t respond. 

I’m sure you’re working hard and you’re totally in the zone but it’s just plain rude.

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5. Realizing someone is trying to pass you. 

DON’T LET IT HAPPEN.

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6. Realizing they will definitely end up passing you.

OK, it’s happening.

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5. Tripping. 

There’s just no easy way to recover from it. That’s the end. Just cut your losses and go home.

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gifs: tumblir.com, maxim.com, giphy.com

Stop the Presses: It’s a Cupcake Conundrum!

Oh no! Egads! Gadzooks!

According to DCist, tourist mecca Georgetown Cupcake owes $189,000 in sales taxes to the District of Columbia! The cupcake shop, which has been in business since 2008, received a lien this week for not submitting sales taxes for August, September and October. With penalties, Georgetown Cupcake owes the District $69,571.78 for August, $66,353.74 for September and $53,357.19 for October. An attorney representative of the cupcake boutique has assured that the amounts would be paid by last night.

Clearly, the moral of this story is to eat at Baked and Wired. But just in case you haven’t decided between the two cupcake dynasties in town, here are our Top 5 Reasons to Eat at Baked & Wired instead of Georgetown Cupcake:

5. Baked & Wired pays their taxes on time When I go for cupcakes, I want to feel at ease knowing that my sales taxes are going to their proper ends. I no longer have that reassurance from Georgetown Cupcake.

4. Baked & Wired has a cupcake called Uniporn & Rainhos It’s like eating Ke$ha in cupcake form!

3. B&W makes me feel cooler than I really am Every time I walk into Baked & Wired and see that weird picture of the old lady with a duck face making a peace sign, I feel all hipster and awesome and stuff. At Georgetown Cupcake, I just feel like I’m standing in line … usually because I am just standing in line.

2. Georgetown Cupcake is for tourists I am not a tourist. You are not a tourist. Even if you are a tourist, don’t eat there.

1. Baked & Wired is just better. The end.

Photo: Yelp

Life, Love and the Pursuit of Nutella

Oh, Nutella. Sweet, sweet, wonderful, delicious Nutella. We at The Fourth Edition love you, and you never cease to amaze us. You and your chocolatey-hazelnut goodness always find a way to blow our minds, clench our hearts, and send our taste buds to infinity and beyond.

Nutella, since you’ll be making an appearance in D.C. soon, (more to come next week…) we’ve decided to make a list — nay, an ode — to all the creative, mouth-watering ways you can enter our lives so that our readers can celebrate your greatness:

Toasted Banana Nutella Sandwiches Bananas, Nutella, Toast: try it for breakfast. Try it for lunch. Try it forever. No matter what, it’ll supply a day’s worth of potassium and a year’s worth of love.

Nutella S’mores A new twist on an old favorite. Just replace chocolate with Nutella. Your taste buds will thank us later.

Nutella Ravioli Yes. This is real life, and it was even featured on the Food Network. This takes some preparation and effort, but believe us, it’s worth it. Welcome to the big leagues.

Pretzels and Nutella The classic. The one and only. Get a bag of sourdoughs and go to town. Also works with fruits, spoons, cereals, and fingers.

Nutella Shots We just died and went to heaven. So will you. We know how addicting Nutella can be though so stay responsible with these alcoholic beverages. Or not.

Warmed Nutella on Ice Cream Pop that jar in the microwave and drizzle it, pour it, or just dump it all over your dessert. If you hear a Hallelujah Chorus, you’re doing it right. I personally recommend Reese’s Peanut Butter Ice Cream.

Nutella French Toast Plop some Nutella into your French Toast batter. It’s breakfast to the second power.

The Nutella Latté Warm up some Nutella and drizzle it into your Cup O’Joe to immediately turn it into a Cup O’Joy. Want to kick it into overdrive? Add some chocolate syrup and whipped cream. This drink will lead you to Jesus.

Nutella-Iced Cupcakes Pretty self-explanatory. Swap out icing for Nutella and you’ll be happier than this girl when she found out she was going to Disney World.

With something as delicious and nutritious (ha!) as Nutella, the possibilities are endless. Check out this page for some more wonderful and out-of-the-box Nutella recipes. Until next time, keep calm, bookmark this post, and delve into the magical world of our favorite chocolate-hazlenut spread.

Photo Credit: Siouxsie Law

Off Campus Study Spotlight: Baked & Wired

Midterm season is in full swing. Lau is packed, your housemates are antsy, and Regents doesn’t have an open plug. Great. How where is there to study? Off campus, of course. And why not study while eating Georgetown’s best cupcake and sipping on some awesome hot cider? Baked & Wired, also known as the most popular off-the-beaten-path place in Georgetown is the perfect place to catch up on readings and study for quizzes.

The tip jar reads “need laser gun to take over the world.” Don’t we all, don’t we all my friends. Come baked to get wired or wired to get baked, whatever your needs may be Baked & Wired will heed to your desires (not encouraging anything  illegal here, please). Hidden on a side street the infamous pink bike out front will tip you off to its locale. Some might say the place is a bit quirky, but I think of it as a touch of charm. Take the décor, one wall is covered with napkins that people have written on; everyone can be artist and interior decorator all in one!  It has a very loungey, cute coffeehouse on the corner feel. It can get a little loud, but if you don’t have Lau 4-type needs, you should be okay studying here.

As you walk towards the food counter an employee boasts the ‘hippie crack’ granola, and motions for all to try it. Samples anyone? It’s so good it’ll turn us all into addicts. I can’t tell if I mind or not. The cupcakes at Baked & Wired are definitely the main attraction. My personal favorite was the Beesting, a mix of shortbread and honey almonds. They also have vegan and gluten free options for those of us that so desire, or so necessitate. The cupcakes are pretty big, so bring a friend to share. There’s nothing better than bonding over a (sugar) high. Sorry, that’s the second drug reference in this article. Baked & Wired is just that good. Head over after a day of shopping at nearby Urban Outfitters to replete your energy reserves. We know how hard it is to try on clothing, reward yourself!

If you’re looking for a coffee fix, head into the second room where drinks are brewed to perfection. Also, grab some free water to hydrate. There’s plenty of seating but if you’re looking to enjoy the last rays before a dreary winter sets in, head down to the waterfront only a minute’s walk away. There’s something to be said for enjoying a cupcake on the water, the breeze in your hair. Fancy yourself on vacation, I know I always do.

Baked & Wired
1052 Thomas Jefferson St. NW
Washington, DC 20007

Photo credit: http://iambakedandwired.tumblr.com/post/11342753464/the-site-will-be-up-and-running-soon-we-are

More Cupcakes for Georgetown

I know what you are thinking right now. How in the world could Georgetown, a neighborhood that is more saturated in cupcakes than any other place in the world, possibly support MORE cupcakes?

Sprinkles has your answer. Install a 24/7 “cupcake ATM” so anyone can satiate their sweet tooth at any time, night or day. It sounds like futuristic ploy to make us fat. But it’s not. It’s just a way to satiate your late night sweet tooth. Coming this August, Sprinkles will have a full-service, 24/7 cupcake ATM in front of its store at 3015 M Street.

Georgetown won’t house the first cupcake ATM in the world, though. That honor belongs to Sprinkles’ Beverly Hills ATM, which opened this past March.  Nor are we the only additional ATM. Sprinkles is installing others in New York, Chicago and Houston.

According to The Washington Post, the cupcake machine costs roughly $100,000 dollars, but that’s because of the fancy robotic arm, video camera, touchscreen and pastel-colored decorations. Besides, even though the Beverly Hills machine just opened up four months ago, it sells 1,000 cupcakes a day, meaning the machine has just about paid for itself already. Besides the robotic arm, touchscreen and video camera, the ATM is linked to a cupcake vault, which can hold up to 600 cupcakes at a time and is restocked several times a day so cupcakes can stay fresh.

ATM cupcakes will cost $4, instead of the typical $3.50, which Sprinkles says is a packaging surcharge. (Also, wouldn’t you be willing to pay a little extra to order from a robotic arm at 3 a.m.?)

So, could cupcakes become the new drunk food on Saturday nights, replacing the likes of Tuscany and Quick Pita? Or could the ATM become as much of an annoyance as the never ending line along 33rd Street in front of Georgetown Cupcake? I guess we’ll find out in August.

Photo credit: Oh Joy

Leap Babies Unite

One extra day of February might not be the most celebratory of days (although it is according to last week’s episode of 30 Rock) but D.C. has one offer to make it extra special. But there’s a catch- it has to be your birthday.

IF YOU’RE A “LEAP BABY”…

Are you one of the poor few who only gets a true birthday every four years? You’re in luck today. Sprinkles (3015 M Street NW) will be giving out free cupcakes to Leap Babies from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. Oh and don’t think you can pull a fast one,  they’ll be giving your valid government I.D. Tombs-esque scrutiny. Cupcakes ain’t no joke.

IF YOU’RE NOT…

You can always check out your neighborhood Subway for the last day of $5 Foot longs. Once March 1st rolls around the FEBRUANY (nice pun, Subway…) deal will be history, at least until they decide the resurrect the annoying jingle.

Cupcakes for Your Sweetheart

by Bethany Imondi

It seems that everyone has a love/hate relationship with Valentine’s Day. When you’re a part of a couple, February 14th is another cause for celebration with your favorite person. Whether it be celebrated with a fancy restaurant dinner, watching romantic comedies or receiving teddy bears and rose bouquets, the holiday is beloved by those in pairs. For singletons, though, the day might as well be called “Singles’ Awareness Day.”

But regardless of the differences in feelings about Valentine’s Day, there really is no contest when it comes to the holiday’s sweets. Conversation hearts and anything chocolate-related are as iconic of the day as is Cupid. But while a box of candy or chocolate hearts are the typical go-to treats, the District’s plethora of cupcakeries affords another way to satisfy any sweet tooth. Whether you celebrate today with someone special or looking for a way to celebrate yourself, here’s a roundup of local cupcake shops and their Valentine’s Day specials.

Continue reading “Cupcakes for Your Sweetheart”