Hottest US Presidents of All Time

Banner - US PrezThe election is officially one week away, which means that in a few days, we can all let out a big sigh of relief because we no longer have to pretend we really really care about the election. If you’re anything like me and have invested in the real issues, you’re ready for another hot president. While the prospect of this happening in the immediate future is dubious, let’s take a moment to pledge allegiance to the hottest Presidents of the United States’ past:

7. George W. Bush

I know this one hurts because yeah, he did some sketchy things and stuff but ~whatever~. Look at him in 1964 in his Yale cap! He’s the Ryan Lochte of American Presidents. Did a lot of bad things but we’d still probably just put it all aside given the opportunity. Obviously I took in to account his Presidential record, hence why he comes in at the bottom of this list.

6. Abraham Lincoln

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He has a very rugged, masculine look to him, and his presidency was also associated with the end of slavery which is pretty ~hot~. While you can’t tell from the black and white pics, he had blue-gray eyes. YESSS.

5. Franklin D. Roosevelt

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I like winners. Winning is sexy. FDR literally won four presidential elections. Damn babe.

4. JFK

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Doesn’t really need explaining. Pretty sure most of us would be cooing “Happy Birthday, Mr. President” in unison if he were in a 100 foot radius.

3. Ronald Reagan

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Actual husband. Unless Ronald Reagan can somehow rise from the dead to father my children, I will die unmarried and I’m fine with that. Plus, with the future of science and technology who knows what can happen, right?

2. Barack Obama

Talking about Obama’s hotness make me feel a little weird, as if I’m talking about my dad, but to leave him off this list would be unfair. Love him or hate him, you have to give him credit where credit is due.

1. Harry Truman

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This one may come as a shock to some of you, but Harry Truman is delicious. He has all the physical appeal of Reagan without Reaganomics. And, he didn’t cheat on his wife while in office which gives him points, too. Hottest President. Better yet, my chances of acquiring the Truman name are still alive (no pun intended)…Clinton Truman where you at?

Photos/Gifs/Sources: cnn.com, pinterest.com, theatlantic.com, giphy.com, salon.com, wikipedia.com, heavy.com

2016 Presidential Nominees As GUSA Presidents

Banner - 2016 GUSABy this point, we are all well aware of who this year’s presidential nominees will be. Like ’em or not, barring some extreme circumstance or ~political revolution~, either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton will be moving into prime D.C. real estate early next year.

The average Georgetown student is pretty politically savvy, but for those of us who aren’t, 4E has created a guide to the nominees by making them a little more relevant to Georgetown. Here are what the candidates’ platforms and personas would be if they were running for Georgetown University Student Association President instead:

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The Likely Democratic Nominee, Hillary Clinton:

  • Creation of a new email system. Google Apps was glitchy, anyways.
  • Officially recognize H*yas for Choice.
  • Someone will tell her to lower tuition, and she will give in.
  • The number of Georgetown students getting Wall Street internships will increase tenfold.
  • Public Safety Alerts about attacks on students may disappear mysteriously.
  • Incentivize more speakers to come to campus by paying them hundreds of thousands of dollars.
  • Jack the Bulldog will wear a pantsuit.hillsuits
  • The front gates remain open.
  • If GUASFCU fails, it must be bailed out.
  • GUSA Vice President will get into battles on Facebook with opposing campaigns.
  • #1 Customer of The Corp, yet has a problem with the way it operates.
  • Already had a seat in her classes before the class primaries (i.e. pre-registration).

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The Presumptive Republican Nominee, Donald Trump:

  • Studying abroad in any country that participates in international trade deals is no longer allowed.
  • Build a giant wall around campus, and close the front gates.
  • Somehow gets all of his classes during preregistration, stunning even the registrar.
  • Will apply for financial aid, then default on his student loans.
  • New Corp storefronts: a casino, a vineyard and a steakhouse.
  • His possible Vice Presidential nominee may close the Key Bridge.
  • Model UN will receive no funding and be removed from CSE budgets.
  • The entire campus is a free speech zone.
  • Shut down the Qatar campus and relocate it to Tel Aviv.
  • Repeal and replace the student insurance waiver.
  • Will actually enforce the 100% ID check on GUTS buses.
  • Will cut tuition and funding for campus news outlets (Dishonest media!)
  • Attack Villanova hard and fast. They have been beating us badly, folks.trumpdunk

Perhaps this will help you make your decision, or it might have just frustrated/annoyed/perplexed/(insert your feeling here) you, but in any case, just remember to VOTE!

Note: Neither The Hoya nor The Fourth Edition officially endorses candidates for political office or otherwise.

Photos/Gifs: reddit.com, giphy.com

4E’s GUSA Results Are In!

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The votes are coming as quick as John DeGioia to the Epi buffet, and 4E is happy to announce the projected winner of the 2015 GUSA Election!

William Jefferson Clinton, SFS ’68, “Bill” to his peers, “DJ Billy Jeff” to his friends, has earned the majority of the vote – 72 of 100 total voters put him as first choice. Running on a campaign platform of “I Was President of America,” President-Elect Clinton earned campus fame for his opening statements in the presidential debate on Monday:

“I was President of the United States in the 90s, and I gave the US a budget surplus! EXTRA MONEY! So if I can do that, you’d better believe I can get you meal swipes at Chipotle and more transparency in administration-student relations.”

Clinton notably ran without a running mate, explaining, “Although there are many worthy people on campus, the only Vice President I’ll ever need is former VP of the United States, Al Gore. Why’d you have to be a Harvard alum, Al?”

When asked how he was able to avoid much of the controversy generated over the past two weeks through campaigns attacking each other, Clinton stated, “Well, you know, I literally just threw my hat in the ring and let the incredible nostalgia for the 90s do the work. I mean, I am 68 years old, so I feel like if I were to attack 20, 21-year-old candidates… That would be weird. We’re all Hoyas, right?”

To cap off this post, 4E has included a clip of Clinton’s speech at TedxGeorgetown 1966.

Bye, GUSA election coverage! See you next year!

Photo: usaflagsupply.com

MARCH MADNESS: Notable Alumni Round 2

See full bracket and results herePatrick Ewing Bill Clinton

Results for Notable Alumni Round 1 are in: Patrick Ewing bested the top seeded Bradley Cooper by only 11 votes, and Bill Clinton showed who’s really in charge by destroying Zoey Bartlet (much to the chagrin of our managing editor). Georgetown has spoken; we like basketball and presidents. Simple as that.

Now two alumni compete to make the Final Four. It’s Patrick Ewing vs. Bill Clinton.

I think we’d all agree that Ewing has aged pretty well

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But let’s not forget about Bill Clinton, who ages like a fine bottle of wine.

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His DNC speech was a little drawn out, but few people can captivate so many people for so long…

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Then again, Ewing is one of those people. He kept audiences captivated his entire career for entire games.

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Speaking of careers, Bill Clinton was the freaking President of the United States: something kids and adults alike aspire to be.

Clinton & The Presidential Seal

But then again Patrick Ewing was a killer pro-basketball player: something kids actually want to do.

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As a pro-athlete, I’d say it’s safe to assume that Ewing got a lot of the ladies

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But having taken AP US History, I’m pretty sure Bill Clinton did too…

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It’s up to you, Georgetown. Pick one of the most beloved politicians or one of the most famous athletes in the American history. Vote here and check in for the results.

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