10 Things Hoyas Should Be Thankful For

HAPPY HOLIDAYS, HOYAS!

Can you believe it? Midterms are (finally) over and Christmas is literally WEEKS away!

Before I get too far ahead and offend all those people who “love” Thanksgiving, let’s jump right into what this article is actually about. Today, I’ve decided to give you the 10 things you should be most thankful for as a Hoya — and yes, I know it can be pretty difficult to figure it out sometimes. Here they are:

  1. That one time a semester when you think a rat is about to jump out of the bush and it turns out to be a bunny                                                        
  2. All your tuition money is being spent on a “green space” that will not be finished until after we all graduate.
  3. The elevator in Regents that is ALWAYS there for those of us who have given up on taking the stairs up to Leavey
  4. When the workers at Einstein’s learn your name — it’s a great feeling, speaking from personal experience here.       
  5. Pasta week at Launch — it’s 100 percent the best week, don’t try to deny it.      
  6. When Jack’s Crew lets you get less than 3 feet away from Jack to take a picture
  7. The Georgetown meme page
  8. The smell on the second floor of the ICC is almost completely gone.
  9. Well, you go to Georgetown. I know this is kind of soft, but it’s true.
  10. MAC MCCLUNG…have you seen him dunk??

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Have a happy Thanksgiving, Hoyas. See you soon!

Gif/photo sources: giphy.com, countryliving.com

Am I Too Old For This?

As you sip a Natty at a crowded pregame or wait in line for ~another~ Epi Quesadilla, some of you upperclassmen out there might be pondering a timeless question. To help you find answers, we here at 4E have compiled a list of ten things that you can and can’t do after your freshman year. So pause for a moment and ask yourself…

Am I too old for this?

1) Taking a basic picture of Healy Hall. We all did this within our first days on the Hilltop, and, though we cringe at others for snapping the famed clocktower, most still look at Healy in awe.

Verdict: No, but expect some judgement.

2) Going to frat basement parties. Though I have gone on my fair share of SAE Foxfield buses or Zeta Psi booze cruises, frat parties feel increasingly more like events for freshman. Please let my days of partying in a suspiciously wet Sig Ep basement be over. I would take a Piano Bar night filled with only adults over this. Enough is enough. That being said, the frat boys and pledge bros are still wonderful.

Verdict: Probably yes, unless you are in a frat, in which case, please attend your own events.

3) Waiting in the Georgetown Cupcake line. I didn’t even do this as a freshman because WHO HAS THE TIME?? Waiting 40 minutes for a $4 cupcake with too much frosting is never worth it.

Verdict: Yes, go to Baked & Wired instead.

4) Attending Jersey Night or Thursday Chi Di. Does anyone care?

Verdict: see you all there!!!

5) Getting lost on campus. Our campus is literally 1/18 the size of a state school’s, so I’m pretty sure you should know every building after a few months. Specifically, I mean people struggling with Maguire. I don’t understand why this is the specific location no one can find. The Jesuits are judging you!

Verdict: Get a map. Then again, it’s totally fine if we’re talking about the ICC.

6) Drinking Burnett’s. Not everyone is too old for this, but I can say with some certainty, while nursing my current raging hangover, that I should be upgrading beyond the likes of Mango Burnett’s. I am only too old for this in the ~health~ way. Will I give it up? Likely not — I have a budget.

Verdict: Yes, but who cares?

7) Referencing the Georgetown meme page. Judging by my alumni friends who find the meme page hilarious, there’s no harm in still talking about a classic “Everyone from Georgetown lives in New Jersey or Connecticut”.

Verdict: No, keep tagging away.

8) Village A Rooftop Parties. Power to you if you get there before GUPD shuts it down. Nevertheless, it remains a classic spot on Homecoming and Georgetown Day.

Verdict: Yep…  it’s never worth it to be honest.

9) Applying to clubs. While the process certainly becomes more cynical as you get older, you should join anything you want at any age. (I hear 4E accepts freshmen to seniors).

Verdict: No, college is about finding yourself and all that #wholesome.

10) ~Hanging out~ in a freshman dorm. Do you!!!!! Just be safe!!!!!!!!!

Verdict: Just don’t go to Darnall.

And with that, we hope you act your age!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, knowyourmeme.com

Best of Georgetown’s Facebook Meme Page

For the past several months, meme culture has permeated the very fabric of American society. Everywhere you look, there are dank (or not so dank) memes. Despite the seemingly ubiquitous nature of memery, there has been a noticeable void on Georgetown’s campus… until now. In the past few weeks, the Facebook page known as “Georgetown Memes for Nonconforming Jesuit Teens” has taken the Hilltop by storm, with memes made by and made for Georgetown’s very own Hoyas.

This page really tackles some hot issues at Georgetown with prime memery. Here, we’ve compiled some of the most ~fire~ of these memes for your viewing pleasure:

Ita Uduebo takes on the ridiculous pressure and exclusivity of club culture at Georgetown with this incredible meme:

Emily Saadi similarly offers some quality satirical commentary on diversity at Georgetown:

John Matthews contributed a quality meme on being blatantly unprepared for class, as I am sure many Hoyas can relate to:

There have been a number of impressive Leo’s memes as well. Allison Kozeracki, for instance, contributed this beautiful one:

Lastly, Sayako Quinlan contributed one of my personal favorite memes on the culture of relationships at Georgetown. Truly an A+ meme:

While these are just a few of 4E’s favorites, join the “Georgetown Memes For Non-Comforming Jesuit Teens” Facebook group for an even wider selection of prime meme material. I look forward to getting that notification that “_____ has requested to join.”

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, bbc.co.uk

The 5 Stages of Writing an Essay at the Last Minute

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It’s 9 p.m., you have a 10-page paper due tomorrow and you’re feeling good: you have the whole night (and morning) ahead of you. What could possibly get between you and completing this paper? Sure, you should’ve started it earlier, but you were waaaaaay too busy to even think about it and, besides, there’s no looking back now. All you can do is forge bravely ahead into the vortex of procrastination and self-pity that you are inevitably doomed to enter, with its various stages listed below. See you on the other side.

Stage 1:  Blissful Oblivion

“If I start writing now and don’t stop, I can probably be done by 11:00pm and get, like, 10 hours of sleep,” you tell yourself wishfully with a wholehearted, adorable belief in your own lies. You imagine yourself typing the final sentence of your groundbreaking essay and glancing confidently at the time, impressed with your agility. You’re honestly the best. Now, all you have to do is actually start writing. *Open Microsoft Word document*

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Stage 2: Unavoidable Distraction

Hey, remember that TV show you used to watch in 9th grade and were completely obsessed with? You don’t, until the moment you have to start writing this paper. But, how can you start writing when you don’t even know what those actors are doing with their lives these days? This is critical information. While mindlessly IMDB stalking these strangers and searching for old episodes on YouTube, you might as well check your newsfeed, text a killer one-liner into the group chat and play around with Snapchat filters. While you’re at it, you might as well Facebook stalk that kid who used to sit in front of you in AP Biology. All of a sudden, this information seems totally relevant and interesting. Besides, what’s the difference between starting at 9 p.m. versus starting at 10 p.m.?

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Stage 3: Shameless Self-Indulgence

It’s currently 12:30 a.m. even though you could’ve sworn in was 10 p.m. five minutes ago. How did this happen? It’s seriously time to get to work. But, wait, how can you work when you’re starving? You absolutely need to get food immediately, and then you can definitely churn out an amazing essay in no time. “If I write three paragraphs now, I’ll reward myself with something highly caloric and temporarily fulfilling,” you tell yourself in a blatant act of bribery. You force yourself to write three paragraphs and then treat yourself to the most convenient food item you can find. Normally, you’d be able to finish out this paper now, but you can’t ignore the fact that you’re exhausted. Eventually, you’re able to get your hands on some caffeine, and continue forging ahead.

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Stage 4:  Frantic Desperation

Congrats! You’re five pages in. That’s great except for the fact that you’re only halfway done (sorry). It’s also 2:30 a.m. and suddenly you’re feeling weirdly reflective and philosophical. “What even is an essay?” you ask yourself after rereading your most recent paragraph so many times that half the words don’t look English anymore. At this point, you’re growing increasingly hopeless and start analyzing your life choices. In a brief moment of desperation and lunacy, you wonder what would have to happen to you in order to not be required to turn in this essay tomorrow. You promise to never put yourself in this situation again. You’re great at keeping promises to yourself so this shouldn’t be a problem.

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Stage 5:  Relieved Acceptance 

Realistically, if you just keep writing, you should be finished by 4 a.m. and be able to call it a night morning. This single thread of hope is enough to sustain you, and allows you to complete your sixth, seventh, eighth and, eventually, ninth page. A rush of relief washes over you as you begin the tenth page. You’ve made it to the finish line. Life is beautiful.

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Moral of the story: You should 100% procrastinate as much as possible. See ya at Midnight.

Photos/Gifs: tumblr.com, giphy.com

POG Study Guide

70918ee4ab004f5d6c4889f5a2c27114Greetings fellow freshmen and a happy finals season to all! Guess what’s coming up?! The POG Final!

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(Disclaimer: that’s pronounced pog, like dog, frog, log, jog, clog, bog and smog.)

Given our glamorous location at the oldest Catholic School in the country, I figure most of us are pretty well versed in religion so I will try not to be too condescending.

Also, given that the POG final’s official exam date is not until May 9th and the various commendable Problem of God professors have chosen their own respective design styles, we have considered only the larger umbrella points that will be helpful to all, POG students and muggles included, to navigate the universe within(?) them. To help us all prepare for not only this glorious final, but for the rest of our lives, 4E has come up with some questions and terms to ponder:

  1. What is the meaning of life?

 Is it “I just want to be successful” by Drake and Trey Songz????

…Or is it “Seasons of Love” from Rent?

2. Evolution: Let us provide you with a few examples:

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Josh!!! What happened?

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Anyone remember Neville Longbottom?

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Hannah Montana; Miley?

3. Creationism– Here’s how it’s done:

4. Who is God?

Is it Ryan?

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Our very own Bradley?

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NOPE… It’s Morgan Freeman.

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Alas, 5. What is God?

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Well, we suppose this one’s up for you to decide.

Happy studying!

photos/gifs: giphy

Why We DON’T Miss High School

you don't miss hsNow that we’re all on spring break and some of us are home for the week, you’re probably feeling nostalgic and reflecting on your pre-college life, or you’re somewhere warm lying on a beach with your mind blank. If so, take a break from all that sun and read on anyway. You might miss some of your teachers and classmates and all the local spots where you used to hang out. Before you go wishing you could do it all over again, I’m here to remind you why you really don’t miss high school.

Class all day Whether you’re the type that likes to get up early and work out before class or you’d rather sleep the day away, I think we can all agree that classes from 8:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. every day is NOT ideal.

Running into teachers outside of school Whether you lived in a small town or in a big city, we’ve all had awkward encounters running into our teachers on weekends or break. Whether it’s waiting in line at Starbucks, at the grocery store or the movie theater, it can be really disconcerting and totally awkward. Luckily, you’re not going to run into many professors at Leo’s.

The high school cafeteria We all hate on Leo’s now and then, but let’s be honest, it’s 10 times better than your high school cafeteria. Eating bagels or a salad for lunch five days straight is not the most exciting. Even if your cafeteria was really nice (that in itself is miraculous), I bet there was no make-your-own wok or pasta station. And let’s not forget about those omelets.

Standardized tests SATs, ACTs, SATII’s, AMCs, APs, the list of acronyms goes on and on. Yes, you might have to take the MCAT, GRE or LSAT while at Georgetown (good luck with that) but at least you’re not constantly bombarded with school-wide standardized testing.

Limited classes Want to take Italian, Arabic, Film Studies, International Relations and Astrology? Chances are your school didn’t have all of these. You were probably stuck with French or Spanish, and Latin if you were “lucky.” Even the largest high school couldn’t offer everything. My school didn’t have psychology, government or economics — awkward how those are now my major and minors.

Prom drama It’s that season again! If you’ve been at home and have younger siblings (I have two little sisters) you’ve definitely been hearing about all the prom angst. Who is going to ask me? What dress do I wear? What corsage should I get her? How do I rent a tux? Who is hosting after prom? It goes on and on. Luckily for us there isn’t much drama surrounding club formals or Dip Ball. College kids just want to have fun, right?

The uniform/dress code Yes, it was nice to be able to get up in the morning and not think so hard about what you want to wear. But sometimes you just want to roll out of bed in sweats or a tank top or pajamas. Chances are your high school didn’t let you wear those. Leggings didn’t suffice as pants in high school, which is really just a shame. Luckily for the public school kids, they are free to carry on scrubbing it as they always have.

Having friends that live far away Everyone had one friend who lived a couple towns over, or maybe even 45 minutes away. You couldn’t walk down the hall and knock on her door to borrow clothes, a spoon or some soap or to see if he wanted to hang out, watch a movie or go get dinner. The 10 minute walk to LXR seems like an eternity, but you used to have to put in a lot more effort to coordinate with your friends.

So, while I had some great times in high school, and I’m sure you all did too, don’t be fooled by the nostalgia; we all loved high school — sort of — but being at Georgetown is just way better.

All We Want for Christmas is This Way to Search for Classes

Search for classesClassy is a super convenient and – more importantly – super chic way of choosing classes during pre-registration. But now that pre-registration and pre-registration completion are done and I am looking forward to actual registration, add/drop period, post-registration, registration post-game and late-night registration, I’m feeling a bit like a Monday morning quarterback. I got into a few classes I wanted, mostly because I actually added alternative classes this time (oops, I was a hopelessly confused freshman this summer). Still, I’m on the waitlist for probably ten classes, and I’m trying desperately to avoid the Intro to Philosophy class I’m scheduled for because I watched my friends cram for that final and I’m just not down for that kind of stress. Also, a big thank you to everybody for taking all of the Intro to Ethics classes. I wanted that.

I just feel like I could be slightly better off than I already am. And as a true Hoya, I only want the best for myself. For that reason, 4E has compiled a few ideas that could improve our search for the perfect class. Here are some search options we would enjoy immensely:

1. Famous/Georgetown-famous professors We want Madeleine Albright and we want her now! We also want that-guy-who-everybody-talks-about-and-whose-class-is-a-transformative-experience-but-we-can’t-remember-his-name-right-now. You know the one I’m talking about.

2. Easy-A professors Sometimes you just need that one class to slide through. Some second semester seniors need five of those classes. Either way, we want to search for that easy A.

3. Funny professors A professor with a sense of humor can make an 8 a.m. or a ridiculously late Friday class way less painful.

 4. Jesuit professors teaching this semester Wait. The 4E already did this for you. You’re welcome.

5. Most interesting classes to fulfill our gen-eds This is for the student who doesn’t want the average Georgetown experience. You’re so alternative.

6. Classes where we’ll meet new friends FRANDS! Let’s get social!

7. Classes where we’ll meet our one true love/a beautiful person we can stare at and will at least keep us awake in a warm, dark lecture class Call me, maybe.

8. A class with no final It’s a happy thought to realize summer awaits us at the end of this semester, but nothing would make us happier than skipping right from Georgetown Day all the way to the beach. Or maybe the Potomac, because the beach is far away. But the Potomac is gross. Yeah, we’re going with the beach.

9. A class that will change our lives A life-changing class would be pretty cool, I guess. Go ahead, blow my mind. I dare you.

10. Any combination of these There’s a combination option on the Classy search, but I have no idea what it does. It should do this.

I know this seems impossible; sorry for asking so much of the world. (But, seriously, The Corp, take notes. If Classy adds this, I will love you more than life itself.) We may not have a magical search bar (yet), but it’s important to remember that our classes will probably still be quite incredible. After all, we go to Georgetown! Hoya Saxa and Merry Christmas!

Spicing It Up With Star Trek

Star Trek GeorgetownWith midterms underway and piles upon piles of readings and problem sets to do, you might not be that happy with Georgetown classes. But according to The Daily Beast, there are classes here to change your mind! Georgetown even made it onto their Hottest College Courses list with our very own “Philosophy of Star Trek” course.

According to the list, Georgetown’s “philosophers” of Star Trek analyze what it means to be human, question the existence of free will and, obviously, go where no man has gone before (Ha. Get it?)

Other courses on the list included “Lady Gaga and the Sociology of Fame” at the University of South Carolina and “The Ugly American Comes Home” at the University of Chicago. So as you tirelessly prepare for those midterms, just remember you could be learning about the meaning of life from Spock himself in Philosophy of Star Trek. Who knows – maybe Will Shatner even comes to guest lecture.

Photo: Georgetown University, Eacology