How Donald Trump Stole the Election

Trump RevisedIt’s that time of year again, the time when “All I Want for Christmas is You” is all we hear playing across the nation. It’s also that time when all the old-time films of our childhood, such as Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and Elf, come back on ABC Family Freeform. Let’s just say it’s the most wonderful time of the year.

However, this holiday season is a bit different due to the shock that electrified the nation on November 8: Donald Trump, against all odds, won the presidency. Some Americans even refused to believe the media when the news broke.
Nevertheless, it was true: Trump turned out to be our future president. There are many reasons that explain why Trump became president, namely that many Americans refused to admit to their preferred candidate.

However, just as there were whispers of Hillary burning ballots, 4E brings you a new conspiracy theory: Donald Trump conspired to steal the election. In the holiday spirit, I will compare Trump’s campaign to Dr. Seuss’s beloved holiday story How the Grinch Stole Christmas to show how Trump accomplished this unprecedented feat.“Every Who down in Whoville liked Christmas a lot, but the Grinch, who lived just north of Whoville, did not!” Prior to this election, many (but definitely not all) Americans were content with society. However, Donald Trump was apparently NOT. Just as the Grinch sat on the top of Mt. Crumpit, brooding about Christmas, Trump sat at the top of Trump Tower, lamenting the situation of our country. But soon, he realized not all was lost.Trump got the idea to steal the election and ~Make America Great Again!~ Was it because his heart was three sizes too small? Biologically speaking this is humanly impossible. On the other hand, people once said it was impossible for Trump to win…Regardless of your politics, it’s clear that this election taught us that anything can happen. So, Donald set off on a quest to steal the election. Just as the Grinch donned his Santa suit and helped Max to be his reindeer, Donald did his hair and employed Melania, Ivanka and others to help him sweep the carpet out from under Hillary’s feet. As he raced ~down the slope~ toward Election Day, Trump had a wild time of campaigning in critical areas and also bullying other candidates (Read: @JebBush, @nastywoman). Just as the Grinch made himself out to be Santa, Donald made himself out to be the one who would save our country from corruption. Interestingly, Melania also made herself out to be quite a public speaker, but we all know where that came from.For the Grinch, Christmas Eve was the day of reckoning. Would his plan work? He proceeded to sweep all the decorations and food from the Whos’ houses and sneak out. Similarly, Trump swept through key states such as Florida, Wisconsin and Pennsylvania as Election Day progressed. However, as he continued to run away with the election, he encountered his version of Cindy Lou Who: Hillary herself. Just as all Cindy Lou wanted was presents, all Hillary wanted was to be president (but like really badly).She probably didn’t personally ask Trump why he was stealing her election, but she also didn’t have to; it was all part of Trump’s scheme to make this country great again. Soon enough, he was racing back up the electoral scale until the vote was finally over. Just as the Grinch triumphantly reached the top of Mt. Crumpit, Trump emerged from the election victorious at around 2 AM the next morning. And just as Trump heard Hillary’s supporters still pledging allegiance to her, the Grinch heard the Whos’ singing voices the next day.As we all know, the Grinch’s heart grew three sizes that day. Did Donald’s do the same? Maybe, considering he has called for unity among Americans. On the other hand, has he joined hands with Americans and sung Christmas carols? Evidently not, because the media would already have had a field day. On that note, let me leave you with one sobering thought: due to the similarities between these two stories, is it possible that Dr. Seuss actually wrote How the Grinch Stole Christmas in order to predict Trump’s election? Who knows, but like I said, anything is possible.

Photos/gifs: giphy.com, images.google.com

Last Minute Christmas Shopping

Bookstore Shopping

Between pulling all-nighters on Lau 2 this past week and complaining about how much work you have to do, you may find yourself a little pressed for time for holiday shopping.  Perhaps you’ve even forgotten all about the upcoming festivities after spending hours in an isolated little cubicle in the depths of our soul-crushing library.  If you’re suddenly finding yourself in a gift-less state of distress thinking, “But what will I get Uncle Jim?!”, then you may want to continue reading.

We’ve gone over some nice ideas for absurd holiday gifts, but if you’re looking for something Hoya-themed, forget googling perfect gift ideas for middle-aged uncles and instead pull up the Georgetown University Bookstore website.  They’ve got some pretty great gift options this holiday season, so you’re sure to find something for everyone on your list!  The bookstore has an overwhelming number of possibilities, so 4E decided to put together a list of their most versatile and useful options.

  1. Hoyas Basketball Gnome: Maybe you’re shopping for a family member who’s really into supporting the Hoyas on the court and also happens to value fine lawn decor?  This lawn gnome could really bring that WOW factor to a yard.  Pretty much anyone on your gift list would be lucky to receive such a treasure.
  2. Serenity Teapot: Looking for a gift for a particularly calming person?  In that case look no further and consider your holiday shopping done. Nothing brings tranquility quite like this Serenity Teapot… plus it holds 24 oz of tea!
  3. Georgetown Nutcracker: Nothing screams “Tis’ the season!” quite like Nutcrackers.  But this isn’t just any Nutcracker, no, this one is Georgetown themed!  Can you think of anything that more perfectly combines a love of the holidays and Georgetown?!  We can’t…

  4. Georgetown Hoyas Frisbee:  Everyone love playing frisbee, right?  Well, maybe.  But we’re sure that your younger cousin would be really excited to get a gift like this!
  5. Life-Sized Jack the Bulldog Statue: You’ve probably seen this statue just sitting in the middle of the bookstore and thought to yourself, “Hey what’s Jack doing here?!”.  Upon closer examination you probably realized that it was actually just a freakishly life-like statue and not the real bulldog.  But it’s pretty close to the real deal, so why not get it for your animal loving friend?  With a price tag of $500 it’s definitely worth every penny.

As you can clearly see, the bookstore should be your one stop shopping spot this year.  Feel free to peruse the site because there really wasn’t enough room in this post to include all of their fantastic options (plus it’s a great way to procrastinate even more for that managerial accounting final).  Happy Holidays, Hoyas, and remember when all else fails…

Photos: twimg.com, bkstr.com/georgetownstore, bookstorejobs.com; Gif: reactiongifs.com 

Manly Monday: Sweater Weather

manlymondays

Sweater weather is upon us, and with it comes a wide variety of seasonal attire. Buddy the Elf once theorized that the best way to spread Christmas cheer is “singing loud for all to hear”. As much as I respect Buddy, I’m going to have to disagree on this one. Without a doubt, the best way to spread Christmas glee is flaunting sweaters for all to see.

 

For those of you who are concerned about your masculinity during the holiday season, have no fear. If Ron Swanson can wear holiday sweaters, then you certainly can wear holiday sweaters.

Here are some of our favorite looks

At 4E, we don’t like to use the term ugly. We find it counter-productive. Instead, let’s just go with the term “festive”. So if you’re feeling festive, then you really can’t go wrong with a knit cardigan over a turtle neck. A look like that just screams with confidence.

rock-your-ugly-christmas-sweater-guy-mdn
If they’re the same color, then congratulations. You’ve reached a new level of festive.

Speaking of confidence, why not just ditch the turtle neck? Try wearing this bold look during finals if you’re looking to leave a strong exit statement. You never know, it could be the new fashion craze.

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The only better way to spread the cheer than holiday sweaters? Well-coordinated group sweaters. Obviously. celebrities-ugly-christmas-sweaters--large-msg-135447913104

So get out there, find some festive sweaters and spread some Christmas cheer by showing off the sweaters you wear.

Photos: esquire.com, dailydawdle.com, refinedguy.com