The Epic of Quick Pita

Banner - CheesyRecently, it was revealed that Quick Pita will be closing at the end of 2016 (on December 31, to be precise). You can imagine the effect this news has had on me, a connoisseur of late-night food. When I heard the news, I had a meltdown comparable to that of a catastrophic nuclear accident.Many of my fellow Quick Pita regulars reacted similarly as I gently broke the news to them. In fact, some of them threatened to transfer. Hogan Lizza (COL ’19), a devout Quick Pita enthusiast, commented, “Georgetown without Quick Pita is like the Cincinnati Zoo without Harambe.” I couldn’t have phrased it better myself. Quick Pita has been around for decades, and life will just not be the same without it.The increase in rent has left Quick Pita with no other choice but to move out. I, for one, plan on venturing there every weekend until they close. I also felt Quick Pita could not go without a proper sendoff. With a nod to Edgar Allan Poe, here is 4E’s tale of the Quick Pita we know and love:

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I wandered, drunk and weary,

Thinking about my ~classy~ night out on the dance floor,

As I ambled, nearly stopping, I heard a great number of people talking,

Talking of Middle Eastern food, of a place where I had never been before.

“Just a small eatery,” I thought, “hopefully cheaper than Epi because I’m poor.”

Only this, and nothing more.

I looked up this “Quick Pita” and set off for my potential hangover cure.

I hurried down Potomac Street, both hungry and eager to explore,

Eager to learn more about this eatery of Georgetown folklore.

Once I arrived, I took in the striped awning and the hole-in-the-wall that would help me score,

Help me score my freshman 15, something to soon happen, of that I was sure.

Quick Pita, I soon realized, would make me fat, forever more.

 Deep into the VCE darkness returning, I ate my chicken fingers and cheesy fries, still learning,

Learning about this wonderful taste, about to tell my friends they had to come with me.

But they didn’t listen, they said Darnall was too far from this place.

But I knew they’d come with me at some point, on my life I swore.

Eventually they ventured to Quick Pita, and their lives were changed when they walked through the double-doors.

Their hearts were changed–forevermore.

(Such as going to Quick Pita)
Such as going to Quick Pita.

Quick Pita became my solace, a refuge for me, whether or not I was sober.

The chicken fingers, the cheesy fries, the gyro kept me coming back for more.

I got on the scale after finals last year, and yelped in horror.

My parents asked me why I gained so much weight, how I didn’t notice my expanding core,

I told them how I frequently followed the Quick Pita spoor,

The spoor that would haunt my dreams-forevermore.

It was an ordinary night in September this year when I found out what would happen,

What would happen to Quick Pita, my dear Quick Pita, my savior.

Someone’s Snapstory said that Quick Pita was closing and raised a fury among students.

This was just something that I could not ignore.

I marched down to Potomac Street in the middle of a downpour.

I had to confirm that Quick Pita would be open (I couldn’t take not knowing anymore).

I strolled in and walked up to Sammy, the cashier who any Quick Pita regular knows.

I said to him, “Is it true you’re closing? If you say yes, I may start sobbing on the floor.”

He looked at me and said in a sad voice:

“Our landlord raised rent by forty percent, we can pay it no more.”

I replied, “Is there any way at all you can stay open? This is a place I really adore.”

Quoth Sammy, ever so honest, “Nevermore.”I walked home, depressed and defeated.

I told my friends and all acquaintances of the tragedy, the end of the food we all go for.

We all protested, and we in 4E ranted when we heard the news.

The neighborhood took away Rhino, now this? It’s like we’re at war.

But for now, all we can do is sit here and deplore.

For come 2017, Quick Pita’s doors shall be open – nevermore.

And Sammy, never moving, still is sitting, still is sitting,

Sitting at the counter, aimlessly staring at the eccentric, yet lovable, decor.

And his eyes have all the seeming of a good man that is dreaming,

And the fluorescent light over him casts his shadow on the tiled floor;

And the amazing food that we eat after leaving the Brown House dance floor

Shall be from Quick Pita – nevermore!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, yelpcdn.com

Hidden Treasures of Epi

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It’s the place where all nights end. It’s the place where multiple people puke bond in the bathroom on a weekly basis. It’s the place where you know you can always count on for a good break from Leo’s. If you haven’t caught on by now, this wonderful place is Epi.

Epi is the land of the famed quesadilla. While the classic chicken quesadilla is the go-to item for many customers, there are other options as well. If you long for something more, don’t be afraid to request extra guac or extra bacon (yes, this is possible). Many overlook the grilled cheese and the 1984, which are both viable options in one’s long-awaited visit to the safe haven of Georgetown students. HOWEVER, there are even more options than what you see on the menu. You may think you know Epi better than anyone, but 4E is about to prove you wrong. For the first time ever, Epi has released their secret menu!

Naturally, Epi decided to give 4E the first access to the hidden treasure of Georgetown’s #famous food venue. So, here’s a few of the newest additions to the range of options that face you as you stumble into Epi:

  1. The Exorcist– What better name for a sandwich than the very movie that made Georgetown even more famous than it was before? The name was obviously in the cards in constructing the secret menu. Think the Hot Chick is an unhealthy sandwich? Brace yourself for this one. The Exorcist might be considered a misnomer because instead of returning a soul to its owner, it may actually kill a person upon consumption. On 3 pieces of thick, perfectly-toasted sourdough bread, you’ll find multiple chicken fingers, crispy bacon, melted cheddar cheese, and a bit of honey mustard. Is this disgusting or delicious? We’ll let you decide.
  2. The Fourth Edition– Arguably, the Fourth Edition might be the best part of the menu purely due to its name. The quesadilla may be the go-to menu item for late night Epi customers, but the Fourth Edition takes it to the next level. It’s a quesadilla (you get to pick chicken, steak, or veggies), but you also get FREE extra guac and FREE BACON inside the quesadilla. This item is a deal breaker.
  3. The Dirty D– It’s only fitting that Epi has a menu item named after the building that is located directly above it. Served on a long subroll, you’ll find a delightfully-greasy combination of sausage, peppers, and onions. Epi recommends adding ketchup to complete the taste. You don’t necessarily have to be drunk to fully appreciate the glory of this sandwich.
  4. The B-Frat– Get ready to get ~sloppy~. To those of you from New Jersey, you may know this side order by the name “disco fries,” except with an excellent twist. If you feel like eating disgusting excellent food, this one gives you small portion. Disco fries are traditionally cheese fries with gravy added on top. However, the B-Frat also adds chili…so if you feel like you want to vomit after eating these, don’t be a little b**** you probably should take it slower next time, since there’s a lot of heavy stuff on this item.
  5. DeGioia’s Special– You walk by his office all the time, but sometimes never see him there. Do you ever wonder if our beloved President John DeGioia goes out of his office during the day? The word is that he disguises himself and goes to Epi in the middle of the day in order to get his favorite treat: ice cream. Have you ever ordered ice cream from Epi? You probably should. This final hidden treasure takes the cake. In a large bowl (who knew Epi had these?) lined with peanut butter, you’ll get four scoops of vanilla ice cream, chocolate syrup, whipped cream and chocolate sprinkles (they’re not called “jimmies”). AND the plus is that it’s cheaper since it is usually only available to DeGioia.

The release of Epi’s secret menu stands as a beacon of hope for those students who are devastated by the tragic loss of Brown House to the Office of the Provost. Even though you now might be going to Epi a lot earlier during your nights out, you at least have a bit more options than you usual!

Photos/gifs: giphy.com, http://bit.ly/26bbQJP

An Ode To Brown House

Banner - BrownHouseFor those of you who haven’t yet heard some of the worst news to ever arrive to a Georgetown student’s ears, Brown House will no longer house students next year. So, without further adieu, here is 4E’s ode to this magnificent Georgetown party scene staple:

There you are, brown bricked, standing high and tall

Gracing N St. with your presence for all,

Forever in our hearts and in our minds-

For freshman year you were one of the greatest of all finds,

Brown House you will be dearly missed-

For when we heard the provost office claimed you, we bawled in fits,

Who will appreciate your walls for dancing?

Who will be there late into Saturday night for dance floor romancing?

The Provost’s office, man, what do they even do?

Certainly not host parties, Georgetown’s social glue-

On campus there will be one less place for freshmen to crawl,

One less place to find bouncers with which to brawl,

Your sticky floors will never be the same-

The tidy little Provost is going to make you so lame,

I never did dare go pee when there,

One of many memories we will never be able to share,

But don’t feel too bad Brown House; you’ll always be in our heart-

For your legacy among Hoyas shall never depart

Photo: girlfriendsgetaway.files.blogspot.com

WORD WEDNESDAY: “Lit”

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“Get lit!”  You’ve probably heard all of those cool Hoyas casually throwing this phrase around on campus. Maybe you’re out of the loop and have been wondering why everyone is advocating for each other to be lit on fire. Fortunately, 4E is here to inform you that no one will actually be set on fire, as your interpretation of this hip new phrase is just completely off base.

Lit is the new swaggy, or the new dope. It’s an incredibly useful term used to express enthusiasm or excitement for an object or event. Many things and anything can be lit if you’re really an enthusiastic person (read: Blue & Gray), so the use of this term is really subjective. Be warned though, if you do opt to freely exercise lit liberally, its effectiveness will really be compromised. So, in order to avoid being known as the “guy who cried lit,” use the term sparingly and only when you plan on describing incredibly dope things.

Now, before you go around using “lit” all willy-nilly, there is another important rule you need to keep in mind:

  1. Lit is ALWAYS used as a predicate adjective, NEVER as just an adjective. For example:
    • Do say: That quesadilla was lit! or Did you hear that there’s a party at Brown House tonight? It’s going to be lit!
    • Do not say: This is a lit pregame!

      When you use “lit” correctly…

See? All that money spent on your private tutor time spent studying for your SAT grammar section turned out to be worth it. You can now go forth into the world and never use “lit” in an improper context again.

Photos/Gif: youtube.com, totalprosports.com, giphy.com, tumblr.com 

5 Ways to Avoid the Freshman 15

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*Disclaimer: I am not a nutritionist or in any shape besides potato*

We all know the conventional ways of staying in shape. No one needs another article telling them to run, eat salad and deprive their life of all things delicious and good. It can definitely be difficult to work out after a long day or not order onion rings from Epi after a great night. However, these are quick and easy ways to keep in you fit without Yates or lettuce because let’s be honest, is it really worth it?

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  1. Wake up 5 minutes before class: No one likes running. Waking up right before class means that not only will you get to sleep more, but you will also be forced to run or sprint to class. Bonus points if your class is in Carbarn.anigif_enhanced-1884-1407190045-7-1432065006

2. Only go to dinner at Leo’s from 6 p.m.—7 p.m.: During this time you will face all sorts of obstacles including a shortage in chairs, silverware and, if you are really lucky, plates/bowl/cups. Scavenging for basic eating utensils will not only give you another great work out of walking around, but also make it difficult to just eat a simple meal. We all know that keeping weight off is 80% diet and 20% exercise!

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3. Never wake up in time for breakfast: Despite what all the other health articles or what not you have read on always eating breakfast to boost your metabolism, I am urging you to skip breakfast at Leo’s. Leo’s best meal is breakfast, and it will be really hard to resist bacon and pancakes, especially after trying to eat pizza the night before. This is also another great way to get more sleep.

giphy 4. Take a class in ICC: This works kinda in a similar method to tip #1 where if pretty much forces you to stay active. Challenge yourself and never look at a map.

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5. Go to Brown House: Once you walk through the door, I promise you will get sweaty within two minutes or less. Not only will the dancing be a good work out, but the heat and humidity of the house acts like sauna. It’s very cleansing and helps your body release toxins, which you really do need after that Natty and Burnetts.

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But remember, it’s not just a diet, it’s a lifestyle!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, tumblr.com, weheartit.com, http://sororityfitnessathens.com/

The Five Times When You Know You Are A Senior

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I am officially old. And, by old, I mean 20. But, I am a senior, which means I have three years of classes, parties and Wisey’s cookies to look back on.

Everyone always talks about how senior year is the best and so fun, but I think that someone has been lying to me. Don’t get me wrong, I always have a good time at Georgetown. But senior year, at least the fall, is beyond stressful. You’ve got classes, clubs, relationships (LOL or lack there of), internships, job recruitment and bills. Honestly, the list could go on and on.

So, in light of what I have experienced the last few weeks, here are the five times when you now you are a senior at Georgetown: 

1. You have explained Tuscany’s so many times that you are depressed. The youth has been deprived. I explained the saga of going to Tuscany’s yesterday and actually got emotional. Who doesn’t miss the curb sing-a-longs? Or, wait, was that just me?

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2. People expect you to know things. While I love all my new bloggers, who you will meet soon, they are definitely giving me too much credit. I say such nonsense. Words. Am I making up things? Most likely.

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I know less than Michael Scott.

3. You don’t know what Leo’s serves anymore. Literally I am looking for someone with a meal plan to take me to Leo’s for a #TBT. I miss it. I never thought I would say that. The kids these days keep mentioning these new stations and options, and I just shrug and disappear into the corner.

4. You would rather have a party with only your friends than spend the night at Rugby. Or Chimes. Or Brown House. Or SigEp (RIP Pink House). Why isn’t it socially acceptable to just sit around with my, like, 15 friends and gossip about people? I’ve met everyone at this school anyway!

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5. You cringe whenever you heard the G-word. And by that I mean graduation. Cringe. You can’t conceptualize how scary the real world is until you are sitting at your billionth information session at the career center thinking, “How the f*** did I get here?”

Thank god graduation isn’t for a few more months. I am not ready to be kicked out yet.

Photos/Gifs: gifsec.com; tumblr.com

Friday Fixat10ns: The Soundtrack to Your First Freshman Crawl

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Attention freshman: tonight is the night you’ve all been waiting for. You’re finished with your first week of classes, and your friend that you met once at Leo’s has texted you about a lead he has about a party at Brown House. “Hey, I heard this party was gonna be crackin’. My roommate’s brother is in a class with one of the people who live there, so I can probably get us in.”

You heard Brown House was the place to be on Georgetown’s campus, so you can’t believe your social prowess. You’ve already established yourself as one of the swaggiest freshmen on campus only one week into the year, now all you need is a pregame to attend.

Luckily for you, you just received a text from the guy in your NSO group who lives on New South 3. “Huge pregame in my room tonight. Bring some friends. 10pm.” SCORE!

You know full well that it’s social suicide to show up to a pregame on time, so even though you’re all ready to go at 8, you make sure to hold off until 10:15 to show up. By the time you get there, the pregame is lit, you had no idea this many sweaty freshmen could fit into one room. With the music blaring, your night out has officially begun. Here are some of the songs you can expect to hear as you embark on a formative part of your freshman experience.

1. “Shots”-LMFAO: As much as Map is a graduation requirement for SFS students, enthusiastically blasting this song at a pregame is the only way to truly establish yourself as a freshman.

2. “Trap Queen”-Fetty Wap: A staple of any pregame, this song must be played in order to unquestionably establish your knowledge and love of trap music. Make yourself familiar with it now, you will be hearing it multiple times a night for the rest of your Georgetown experience.

3. “Faded”-Tyga ft. Lil Wayne: Because you will be.

4. “Ignition (Remix)”-R. Kelly: Affectionately known as “the beep beep song” (by me), this song is the turning point at which your night swings into full party mode. You’re impressing the ladies with your knowledge of every single music, and expertly choreographed dancing-just remember to mime bouncing a basketball when you hear “Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce.”

5. “Get Low”-Lil Jon: No party is complete without everyone dropping their red solo cups to let out an enthusiastic “TO THE WINDOWWW!”

6. “Can’t Feel My Face”-The Weeknd: The Weeknd has been getting lots of recognition lately, much to the chagrin of people who’ve known about him for a long time and who hate nothing more than people thinking he’s a band. You should expect this song to become pretty popular this year around the Georgetown party circuit.

7. “Uptown Funk”-Bruno Mars: If you don’t hear this song and sing along to every word, were you really at a Georgetown party?

8. “All Night Longer”-Sammy Adams: This song describes exactly how you’re feeling: you’re absolutely killing the game at this party, and you cannot imagine leaving. Despite the fact that it’s 11:45, you’re ready to stay out until the sun comes up, assuming the Brown House table you’re dancing on doesn’t break.

9. “Blank Space”-Taylor Swift: At this point, you’re ready to showcase your shadow love of T Swift to all your newfound best friends and belt out all of the lyrics to Blank Space. Just make sure you get to this point before you’re sent running for the exits because you heard DPS was about to show up.

10. “Take 5”-Mike Strickland: It’s 12am, and you’ve made it to Epi. Get ready to drop $8.42 on the best quesadilla you’ve had in your life. Although the music here isn’t quite as poppin’ as what you’ve been hearing all night (think elevators), the gooey, melty and ridiculously overpriced pile of cheese more than makes up for it.

Photos: hercampus.com

If You Lead a Freshman to Brown House…

New-Releases-Top-College-Party-SongsThere are few experiences that will define and unite all Hoyas. Meeting Jack the Bulldog, climbing the John Carroll statue and getting your forehead stamped at Tombs are just a few of these memorable events. As an incoming freshman, you’ll likely have one such defining experience within your first week or two of being on the Hilltop.  Of course, we’re referring to your first Brown House party.

“What is Brown House?” you find yourself asking. Well, it’s somewhat of a haven for freshmen as your chance of getting into these parties is drastically higher in comparison to pretty much anywhere else. Now you’re probably wondering, “What happens at these parties?” Well, we’re glad you asked. In order to prepare you for this truly transformative, life-changing event; 4E has put together a timeline of your first night at Brown House.

8:30 p.m.: You receive a text from someone on your floor saying there’s going to be a HUGE party at this “Brown House” place tonight.

8:32 p.m.: You let your floor friend know that you, your roommate, and about 5 of your new closest friends are definitely down to check this out.

8:35 p.m.: You and your roommate spend the next 15 minutes trying to use Google Maps to figure out Brown House’s address. You’re ultimately unsuccessful.

8:50 p.m.: You start to freak out because it’s almost 9:00 p.m. and you really don’t want to show up late! You frantically start to get ready, trying on almost every outfit in your closet in the process. Your roommate will definitely offer unsolicited advice.

9:30 p.m.: You’re finally ready to go, and you couldn’t be more excited about your first college party. You text your friend and decide to meet in their roommate’s friend’s acquaintance’s room in New South.

9:35 p.m.: You make the trek from Darnall to New South. Such a far walk, but five minutes later you arrive to the pregame in New South. You’re quickly pulled into the overly crowded room of freshmen in order to avoid the RAs from hearing all the noise.

9:37 p.m.: You think you see a bottle of something being passed around at the other end of the room and decide it’s a good idea to check this out.

9:38 p.m.: You make your way to the other end and get ahold of a half-drunk bottle of Cherry Burnett’s. You quickly realize that college will be full of top-shelf vodka as you attempt to hide your horrible facial reaction from consuming something that tastes like medicine and gasoline mixed together.

10 p.m.: After introducing yourself to a dozen people or so over some blaring Top 40 pop song, someone stands on a bed and announces that it’s time to split up and head to Brown House.  You’ll spend the next 15 minutes trying to figure out groups with the right ratios guaranteed to grant you access to Brown House.

10:25 p.m.: Perfect!  You get to the party before 10:30 p.m., so you should be good to go! Unfortunately, the bouncers don’t feel the same way and only let half of you in. On the bright side, you’re in the lucky half and find yourself wandering through the back gates to the house.

10:30 p.m.: You can hardly believe that you’re at your first real life college party! You’ve made your way to the middle of the dance party and it’s definitely everything you’d imagined it to be. You can’t wait to text all of your friends from home about how insane things are at Georgetown.

10:45 p.m.: You and your friends make your way to a table with a massive Sterilite container filled with a mysterious red liquid. You’re feeling adventurous and grab a cup.

11 p.m.: Whatever is in your cup is definitely doing the trick, you’re feeling great and head back to the dance floor. “Trap Queen” comes on and you can’t help but let everyone know that “thissss isss mahhh jaaaaaam!”

11:15 p.m.: After 15 minutes of intense dancing that primarily involves flailing your limbs wildly, you notice a guy/girl across the room. You’re feeling pretty confident and decide to make your way over to them.

11:20 p.m.: You’re having a great conversation with this stranger. It’s such a coincidence that they’re also in the College and from New Jersey!  Things are going so well that you think it might be love at first sight. You ask them what they think of NSO. Your new love interest immediately starts laughing in your face. Apparently he/she is an upperclassman.

11:30 p.m.: You head back to the middle of the crowded dance floor and hope the flashing lights hide just how much your blushing from embarrassment. You start to look around for your friends and realize they’ve completely disappeared.

11:35 p.m.: You make your way past the masses of people huddled around the beer pong table to get a better view of the dance floor.  All of your friends are either dancing or DFMOing with completely random people. You decide to make new friends and join in on a game of pong. You’ll spend the next hour and a half meeting various people and bonding over how you think NSO ice breakers are soooo awkward.

1 a.m.: One of your floor friends makes their way through the crowd to you. They say they’re headed to this place called “Epi” because they’re “sooo drunk and just need food.” You decide to check it out because you’re pretty hungry yourself.

2 a.m.: You never want to eat anything apart from an Epi quesadilla ever again.  You’ll likely never say this again until you go to your next Brown House party…

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, imgur.com, tumblr.com, nocookie.net

The New Way to Party: Wigo

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Ever had trouble locating where your friends are partying? Find yourself confused by their indecipherable texts, trying to tell you where to find them?

Partying just got a whole lot easier with the up and coming app, Wigo. Since September 2014, Wigo has rapidly become one of the hottest apps across college campuses, next to the beloved Yik Yak.

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Wigo helps college students, like us, find out where their friends are going to meet up and party without any added confusion or strain. What makes this app even more desirable amongst campuses is that it is not as simple as just downloading it. Before students can freely use the app, approximately 5% of the college’s population must be signed up for Wigo for it to be unlocked. It has become somewhat a contest across campuses over which school will be the next to unlock the coveted Wigo. No longer will we have to ask ourselves, “Is Brown House the move tonight?” Rather, we can simply look down at our phones to discover which parties are the most happening.

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The student-only app filters out randos, townies and adults, ensuring that your night is both safe and fun – cheers to that!

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Are you convinced yet? Just imagine what your life would be like without having to trek to 5 different houses in this 20-degree weather before finding the one party that was actually worth it. Plus, now that Rhino is closing, what better way than to download Wigo to make up for our tragic loss?

Sign up for Wigo now and let’s bring the fun to the 20057.

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Photos/Gifs: blog.wigo.us, college.usatoday.com, dailyappdesk.com, simplysenia.com, mixmag.net

Dinner with 7 “Strangers”: A Recipe for Disaster?

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A new and mysterious program, Dinner with 7 Strangers, has taken the Hoya world by storm, and 4E has several questions:

Who’s in charge?

What if I get stuck with a bunch of duds?

Is this some type of elaborate scam to expose people who are desperate for friends?

Although the premise of the program is to meet new people and have dinner with strangers, there’s always the possibility that your dinner might include awkward acquaintances and people you semi-know, or people you never want to see again.

Here are 7 people you might meet at your dinner with 7 “strangers”:

1. You know who they are, but you don’t know if it’s because you stalked them on Facebook one night at 2:00 am. Do they know who you are? Should you address them by name? WHAT DO YOU DO?!?!?!?!
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2. That boy you hooked up with at Brown House, only to realize you had Econ and Problem of God together. Also, you’ve butt-dialed him several times despite the fact that you haven’t talked to him since the DFMO. Now you’re sitting across the dinner table from him.
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3. Your professor whose class you slept through every single day. Also, your final paper was accidentally written in Comic Sans.

4. Your nightmare roommate from freshman year who you ditched second semester and never talked to again. They ate weird food in your bed and barfed on your pillow, and watching them eat their meal is giving you horrible flashbacks.
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5. The GERMS worker who rescued you after you fell down Harbin stairs and/or slipped in your own vomit.
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6. Your future husband/wife. According to super scientific studies that Blue and Gray tour guides like to relay in order to get overly eager parents excited about grandkids, 70% of Hoyas marry other Hoyas. Wouldn’t it be a great story to tell if you meet your future spouse on what boils down to a blind date with 6 other random people?

7. Hey, you never know, maybe you will get to eat with Bradley Cooper! Can Georgetown Alumni sign up? Please say yes! One date dinner with him and, who knows, maybe you will be on the cover of People.

In reality, Dinner with 7 Strangers sounds really cool and you should sign up. You might get the opportunity to meet some really incredible people *cough* me *cough*. Or you might have the most uncomfortable two hours of your life. Either way, you are sure to have some wonderful stories to tell. Also, free food.

Photos/Gifs: replygif.net, reactiongifs.com, imgur (@gidget), facebook.com