How to Throw the Perfect Inauguration Day Party

January 20th 2017 is an important date for two reasons. First, it marks the inauguration of our nation’s 45th President and ushers in a new and unprecedented era in American history. Secondly, and much more importantly, it’s an official Georgetown University holiday, which means that we all get to be MSB students for a day and share in the luxurious experience of having no Friday classes! So if you’re searching for a fun way to spend your day off, look no further: we here at 4E have got you covered with some tips and tricks for the perfect Inauguration Day party.

Find the perfect spot to host

When you’re searching for the right place to throw your Inauguration Day bash, we recommend you choose a different location from wherever you hosted your Election Night party a few months ago- after all, nothing ruins a good party faster than terrifying flashbacks! Your best bet in terms of location is definitely the Village A rooftop. While you can’t really see the Capitol building from the roof, you can see the Washington Monument, which we all know provides the perfect patriotic background for that inevitable Inauguration Day Instagram, which you’ll probably post with an original, hilarious caption like #MakeAmericaLITagain

Invite some VIPs

To quote our next President, your party can’t be full of “losers and haters,” so when it comes to making your guest list, be sure to go the extra mile. Actually, you don’t even have to go a whole mile- just walk the few blocks to John Kerry’s house and invite him to your awesome party. He obviously can’t RSVP to your Facebook event for security reasons, so your safest bet is definitely to just go knock on his door and ask him face to face. His secret service agents totally won’t mind as long as you remember to extend the invitation to them as well. In the meantime, wander around campus and you’ll probably run into frequent Dahlgren Chapel-attendee, Joe Biden, or Georgetown’s favorite son and America’s favorite almost-first-husband, Bill Clinton. And after this election cycle, these guys are definitely ready to kick back and party, so be sure to toss an invite their way.

Make a playlist

No Inauguration Day party would be complete without the musical stylings of Trump’s new best friend, Kanye West. After the craziness known as the 2016 election, I don’t think any of us would even be surprised at this point if Kanye somehow ended up with a Cabinet position. In fact, we’re calling it now: we think a Trump/West 2020 ticket is in our future (in four years, remember you heard it here at 4E first!). And if Kanye’s ascent into the political arena is imminent, we must enjoy his musical genius while we still can. So at your party, be sure to “Runaway” from your fears about the next four years, ignore all those fake news stories and focus on the “Facts (Charlie Heat Version)” and remember that we can still be “Stronger” together even though Donald Trump will soon have all that “POWER” to “Run This Town.”

Choose beverages wisely

If you’re still feeling patriotic and want to make a political statement at your party, follow President Obama’s lead by enacting your own symbolic sanctions against Russia in the most college-way possible: boycotting Russian-brand vodka. In terms of what you can realistically afford, this basically means no Russian Standard and no Stolichnaya. Don’t worry, Smirnoff doesn’t count. If you’re looking for an alternative, we here at 4E recommend everyone’s favorite delicious (and American-made!) vodka, Burnett’s. For more information on this flavored poison refreshing beverage, check out some of our diligent research here.

There you have it: a few simple tips and tricks to make your Inauguration Day one to remember. And finally before we go, if you’re reading this, Mr. Trump (and based on your bizarre social media habits, there’s sadly good chance that you actually are), we wish you luck. Despite our differences, we hope that you prove us wrong and use these next four years to help lead our country in the right direction. But in the meantime, we here at 4E will continue to contribute to the “crooked media” by low key roasting you on a regular basis. Here’s to the next four years, neighbor.

Gifs: giphy.com, teepublic.com

President Obama Congratulates Georgetown

Charter Birthday

Today marks the 200th anniversary of Georgetown’s charter, officially incorporating the university into the District of Columbia. Signed by James Madison back in 1815, our current president, Barack Obama, weighed in on the momentous occasion today with a video uploaded onto Youtube.

“As your neighbor, I thought I’d say hello and congratulate you on the 200th anniversary of your charter,” President Obama begins, while then delving into the many varied accomplishments of Hoyas over time, and emphasizing the influence of Georgetown’s Jesuit values in different fields. Basically, the President thinks we’re awesome, thus confirming what we knew all along.

You can watch the full (less than 1 minute-long) video below. It’s totally worth it, especially for the very end. Hearing POTUS say “Hoya Saxa” is truly a transcendent experience that I will totally #humblebrag about in the future.

Other government leaders congratulated Georgetown today too, including Speaker of the House John Boehner, House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi and Senator Patrick Leahy.

Oh, and we just heard from Bill Clinton!

Check out the university’s statement (plus all of the congratulatory videos) here. Actually, if you want to check out the charter (it’s short), go for it.

So happy birthday, Georgetown, and Hoya Saxa!

(This post has been updated.)

Photo: sfs.georgetown.edu

Best of 4E: 2014 Edition

Best of 2014

2014 is over! That’s right folks, another year has come and gone, and what do we have to show for it? Well, in 4E’s case, a bunch of articles. We’ve compiled a list of 4E’s 25 greatest hits written this year, ranked in order of page views. Read on and enjoy:

Georgetown-Themed Pickup LinesAn instant classic. Any of these lines were and are perfect, whether you’re chatting with that hottie in Problem of God or meeting Bill Clinton.

Lau is Soul-CrushingAnd will never not be.

Mr. Georgetown 2014Go back to the article now and change your vote to Thomas Lloyd, so you can say you were right all along.

Embassy Row Trick-or-TreatingCulture and candy, a feast for the brain and the sweet tooth.

Healy Clock Hands Went Bye-ByeUntil they were replaced one day later.

Naming the HealFamStuCentThat’s the nickname we decided on, right?

Georgetown Day EveLess than four months until Georgetown Day 2015!

Second Semester Senior ShenanigansFor all the SWUGs out there.

Tombs Cancels Wine NightSorry, SWUGs.

Things Students Would Never SayNever say never! Someday the HFSC seating will make sense!

JesRes Dorm DeetsHousing Is Coming.

Georgetown Students = Olivia PopeUh, we wish.

Georgetown 2048We know you still play it.

Wills and Kate Come to DCCome back soon, friends!

Georgetown Reacts to FergusonMany extremely insightful words from faculty and students alike.

If a GUSA Campaign Doesn’t Have a Video, Are They Even Running for GUSA? Hint: The answer is no.

Top Hoya Comments EverBecause Internet commenters are the best!

Reiss Pathway Forever In Our HeartsI dreamed a dream in time gone by…

HFSC Open for BusinessBringing another factor into the “Where should I go to study tonight?” game, which inevitably ends in hiding under the covers and watching old “30 Rock” episodes. 

4E Blogger Is Also Georgetown Confessions PhenomHe was written about thrice. THRICE!

Last-Minute CostumesYou’re not fooling anyone with your “Georgetown Student” costume, bud.

Who Stole the Hands? We know it was you, Joey B. Ugh, you’re such a Scorpio!

Which Georgetown Alum Are You? Are you more Patrick Ewing or Nick Kroll? The answer may surprise you!

Concert for Valor MixHeard Ri-Ri and Bruce killed it.

Thanks to all our readers for a wonderful year! Catch you guys in 2015!

Manly Monday: Georgetown Alumni Facial Hair Review

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Movember is upon us. And if “moisture is the essence of wetness and wetness is the essence of beauty,” then facial hair is definitely the essence of manliness. Plus you can celebrate Movember to raise money and awareness for a good cause. With that in mind, let’s take a moment to appreciate some of the most famous beards in Georgetown history.

Patrick Ewing (CAS ’85)

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Although we generally associate handlebar mustaches with creepy neighbors and fictional 1970s television broadcast teams in the greater San Diego area, Ewing pulls off this ‘stache with pizazz. If you’re also a Hall-of-Fame-caliber basketball player, then you might want to consider growing out a handlebar mustache. Otherwise, we’d advise you to stay away.

Nick Kroll (COL ’01)

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Kroll has tested out a few different beards and mustaches over the years, everything from the classic lazy beard to the 80s-style creeper ‘stache. His Larry Bird mustache might be somewhat ahistorical, but at least it’s manly.

John Mulaney (COL ’04)

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A pupil of Nick Kroll, Mulaney has dominated the comedy circuit in recent years, but he hasn’t quite mastered the facial hair. Maybe someday, John.

Bill Clinton (SFS ’68)

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You may know him as a polished former President and potential “First Gentleman,” but Bubba used to showcase a shaggy beard in his college days. For those you hoping to follow in Bill’s footsteps, consider growing out your facial hair. Plus, it might help you attract a smart hippie like Hillary.

Happy Movember everybody!

Photos: respondmississippi.blogspot.com, thedistractionnetwork.com, galleryhip.com, funny-pictures.picphotos.net, lockerdome.com, ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com, dailymail.co.uk

What I Miss Most…

things we already miss

Hey, Hoyas, how long’s it been?

Oh yeah, that’s right, two weeks.

It’s only been two weeks since we’ve left campus for summer vacation, but if you’re feeling anything like I am, there’s already a soft, yearning pain deep within your soul that pulls at your heartstrings and cries out “Hoya Saxa” with the same melancholy nostalgia of Céline Dion in this classic video.

Though you might be happily abuzz with your summer job or internship, and though you might be comfortably lounging in your own bed at home, there are some parts about the Hilltop that might be making you feel a bit, well… homesick. Here’s what I (and probably many of you) miss most about Georgetown over summer vacation:

Seeing Healy every day

There’s just something I miss about returning back to campus at night and looking up to see this:

5112800787_b18f0c7f7b_zOr waking up to this:5639811730_c375e06790_z

And walking to class and seeing this:950_47_John-Carroll-Spring-Tulips-optimized

And it would always make me feel like this:

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I miss eating Wisey’s…

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…and Sweetgreen…

sweetgreen-exterior…and GUGs burgers…images-2

…and Baked & Wired…baked-and-wired-2

And I’m like:

tumblr_inline_mmfu9bTEXk1qz4rgpI miss the Georgetown Waterfront…

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…even in the winter!

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I miss The Tombs.

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It’s such a great place!

Dining_TheTombsThough I doubt I miss the establishment as much as those in 99 Days Club. Now that they have graduated, they probably feel like this:

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I miss Chicken Finger Thursdays…

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…and brunch!

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And I miss Hoya Basketball…

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… and Bill “Slick Willy” Clinton!

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But more than anything, I miss my friends…

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NO! Not those friends. These friends:

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See you in August, Hoyas!

Photos: University Registrar, GU82HoyaSaxa, Casual Hoya, Crashing the Goalie, GU Dining, Tombs, Georgetown DC, Capital Spice, Flickr, DC About, Georgetown Metropolitan, Guest of a Guest

Gifs: Tumblr.com

Study Week Alternatives

study week alternatives

Feeling overwhelmed by finals? When you start talking about Shakespeare’s economic theory or George Washington’s impact on the Civil War, you know it’s time to take a break.  Luckily for you, Georgetown (and the surrounding area) has a busy schedule of events to give students opportunities for study-week getaways.

Monday, April 29th @ 7:30 PM- Georgetown University Chamber Singers

On Monday night in the Gonda Theater in Davis Performing Arts Center, Georgetown’s very own Chamber singers will be performing at 7:30pm.  Come out for a great concert of chamber music celebrating the Italian Renaissance, as well as supporting your fellow students.

Tuesday, April 30th @ 10:30 AM- Bill Clinton

As I’m sure most of you have heard, former president Bill Clinton will be at Georgetown on Tuesday, giving a lecture in the morning in Gaston Hall.  Doors open at 9am, close at 10:15am, and students are not supposed to begin lining up before 7am.  What better way to get motivated for finals than to go listen to a Georgetown alumnus who made it to the pinnacle of his field, and surely still has a lot of insight.

Every night @ 6 PM- Free Concerts at the Kennedy Center

Looking to get off campus, see a concert, and not have to pay? The Kennedy Center has your answer! Every night at 6pm, the Kennedy Center has free concerts on the Millennium Stage, starting this week with Dance Metro DC on Monday and the US Army Field Band Jazz Ambassadors Tuesday night.  The full schedule can be found here.

Friday, May 3rd @ 11:00 AM- 12:00 PM- Free Yoga

Need to de-stress? Yates will be having free yoga on Friday morning in the dance/exercise room.  No registration is required, you just need to be a Georgetown student.  Find out more information at the Yates site.

There are various other events going on, so be sure to check out your Facebook invites and the Georgetown events page.  Also, the Meditation Center or your building’s Chaplain in Residence can offer opportunities to relax and de-stress.  And if you don’t have time to go to one of these events, just be sure to take a few minutes to take a break and take a couple deep breaths.  Good luck!

Ragin’ Cajun: The Many Faces of James Carville

Speaker Series NY

On April 22, 2013, the Georgetown University Lecture Fund will present a lecture by James Carville, one of America’s leading Democratic political strategists. Carville, who has garnered national and international acclaim for his campaign work for Bill Clinton, Tony Blair and more, will soon be bringing his Southern swagger to ICC Auditorium.

To help prepare for Carville’s fiery antics at the event, here are some of the many faces of this famous, feisty, New Orleans strategist:

This is James Carville:

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He loves politics and pointing. Here he is on Meet the Press:

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And here he is on Fox News giving a salute. How patriotic!

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Sometimes politics make him angry…

NEWS James Carville during a speech at UNLV on Tuesday photo by jeff scheid

…but other times he is very happy, as he is here with Bill Clinton.

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In fact, he was this happy when Slick Willy won the presidency in ’92!

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Carville, a native Louisianan, loves New Orleans.

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And when we say he loves New Orleans, we mean he loves New Orleans.

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Married to Republican political strategist, Mary Matalin, you could say Carville’s a simple family guy.

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In fact, he’s even been on Family Guy!

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And Saturday Night Live … Wait a second. That’s just an impersonation on Weekend Update. Silly Bill Hader, tricks are for kids!

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Or maybe even Lord of the Rings?

Regardless, Carville is a big name in American politics — almost like a Founding Father!

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And even though we can’t explain this …carvilbeth

… we still think he’s a pretty cool guy. We can’t wait to see him on the Hilltop next week!

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Photos: Wikipedia, CNN, Entertaining City, Gawker, Vanity Fair, EW.com, Family Guy Wikia, Short Form, Jammie Wearing Fool, Politico, Zimbio, Skylighting City, GOP 12 The Hill, NY Times

MARCH MADNESS: The Final Four

FINAL FOUR fi

After two weeks of voting, we’ve finally made it to the Final Four in The Fourth Edition’s March Madness bracket: The Best of Georgetown!

To catch up on the arguments for every round, click here.

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HOT CHICK

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Emerging victorious from the Wisey’s Sandwich region was the third-seeded Hot Chick, who defeated Burger Madness in the first round and then bested the first seed Chicken Madness to clinch the region. Its combination of chicken fingers, cayenne ranch dressing, pepper jack cheese and tomatoes is a force to be reckoned with. A Hot Chick is only a couple of blocks away from our hallowed front gates and brightens the days of many students when the task of waiting 20 minutes in the Leo’s wok line is just too daunting. But is it the best part about Georgetown?

———————–

THE TOMBS

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The Tombs predictably destroyed Mr. Smith and Rhino in the first and second rounds, respectively. The delicious spinach and artichoke dip, proximity to campus, and tradition surrounding this Georgetown bar make it a strong contender for the win. Every Hoya needs to have their forehead stamped on his or her 21st birthday, and every under-21 Hoya longs for that day to come. Do you think all the hype is worth it?

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BILL CLINTON

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Bill Clinton pulled out the win against Zoey Bartlet and then crushed Patrick Ewing, who was the  Cinderella story of this bracket. President Clinton brings much prestige to the Georgetown name, which was demonstrated earlier this year when the lovely Hillary came to speak in Gaston. It’s hard to pit a person against a sandwich, a bar and an event, but do you think Bill can hold his own?

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GEORGETOWN DAY

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Georgetown Day faced no problems in the Georgetown Traditions region, demolishing Swimming in Dahlgren Fountain and holding a more special place in the hearts of Hoyas than Running to the White House. Georgetown Day is a light for many Hoyas that shines at the end of the tunnel of a difficult school year. A day full of fun and libations right on campus is hard to compete with, but, then again, I’m a freshman who has yet to experience this firsthand. I’m sure there are just as many unpleasant memories associated with this day as there are positive ones, but can they really outweigh the Georgetown-iness of Georgetown Day?

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VOTE NOW TO DECIDE WHO WILL WIN “THE BEST OF GEORGETOWN”

Polls close Saturday, April 6th

FINAL FOUR: Who will take home the title?

MARCH MADNESS: Notable Alumni Round 1

 See full bracket and results herebradley cooper patrick ewing

Welcome to the first installment of 4E’s March Madness: The Best of Georgetown. Our first matchup: Bradley Cooper vs. Patrick Ewing. (Scroll down below the poll to see the second matchup)

First off, how can you say no to this smile?

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But on the other hand, you can’t say no to this swag either…

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In their time on The Hilltop…

BCoops took the stage as Casanova and was also a member of the crew team

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While Ewing … well, of course, was on the courts being Patrick Ewing

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Bradley Cooper has starred in many popular movies, including The Hangover and Silver Linings Playbook

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BUT PATRICK EWING WAS IN SPACE JAM…

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Let’s look at the numbers, shall we?

Bradley Cooper has been nominated for an Academy Award, a Golden Globe, three People Choice Awards, three Teen Choice Awards, five MTV Movie Awards and two Screen Actor’s Guild Awards.

Patrick Ewing was NBA Rookie of the Year (1986), All-NBA First Team (’90), All-NBA Second Team (’88, ’89, ’91, ’92, ’93, ’97); 11-time All-Star; named one of 50 greatest players in NBA history (’96); and a two-time Olympic gold medalist (’84, ’92).

In the end, the seeding came down to the incredible amount of attention Bradley Cooper has received by the readers of this blog and the deplorable lack of sports knowledge by a vast number of people at this school. Who will win? VOTE HERE:

Notable Alumni Round 1: Bradley Cooper or Patrick Ewing?

[POLL NOW CLOSED! STAY TUNED FOR RESULTS ON 3/24)

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Bill Clinton Zoey Bartlet

 And here is the second Round 1: Notable Alumni matchup.

President Bill Clinton vs. Fictional presidential daughter Zoey Bartlet

At the time of his inauguration, Clinton (age 46) was the third-youngest president ever elected.
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Zoey Bartlet is the third-youngest daughter of President Josiah Bartlet on The West Wing

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President Clinton graduated as a member of Phi Beta Kappa and Kappa Kappa Psi and earned a Rhodes Scholarship

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Zoey graduated summa cum laude from The Hilltop. On the day of her GU graduation, she was kidnapped and held hostage for several days.

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Zoey dated Jean Paul …

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… While Bill snagged himself one of the most powerful women in the country

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These two political figures will have to duke it out for the votes of the many Hoya West Wing fans and Billary’s many supporters. VOTE HERE!:

Notable Alumni Round 1: Bill Clinton or Zoey Bartlet?

[POLL NOW CLOSED! STAY TUNED FOR RESULTS ON 3/24)

Overcoats, More Overcoats and Other Hoya Inauguration Blunders

1. Jan. 23rd, 2009: A year of hope and change…except for DarnallScreen Shot 2013-01-17 at 7.28.43 PM
In 2009, President Obama was inaugurated for his first term. Unfortunately, the first headline Hoya readers saw was not one of his historic entrance into office, but of the crap-tastic nature of Darnall’s plumbing. As we enter 2013, not much has changed: same president, same Darnall struggles.

 

2. Jan. 23rd, 2009: Enter Tobias FünkeScreen Shot 2013-01-17 at 7.36.11 PM

I’m sorry, but all I can think of is the episode of Arrested Development in which Tobias gets his full leather outfit to be a “leather daddy” … Tobias storming D.C. against Obama? Tobias for president?

3. Jan. 22nd, 1993: Wait … so what kind of coats?Screen Shot 2013-01-17 at 7.26.09 PM

Georgetown alumni Bill Clinton steps into office and we have one question: Why is the inauguration being compared to melted animal fats? (Schmaltz is Yiddish for rendered animal fat, usually chicken fat. Thank you, Urban Dictionary.)

4. Jan. 23rd, 1981: The year of fighting steeds

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If you’re attending the inauguration this year, I would suggest taking a self-defense class to prepare yourself for possibility of having to fight off a stallion. I would like to point out that above this inauguration feature was an article about a 25,000-person march to honor Martin Luther King Jr. and, between those two beautiful and important posts, was the article “Hoya Pick-Up Line of the Week Award.” And yes, we will bringing this post back.

5. Jan. 19th, 1973: There are so many things wrong with this.

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I don’t know about you guys, but I have some major issues with the phrase ” … a castrated Congress limping into a new session …” Well, here’s to a new Presidential term and a fully … uhh … “equipped” Congress.

 

Happy inauguration! I’m sure that 30 years in the future, our current staff will be berated for their word choices and out-of-context headlines, but until then, we will continue to be sassy and snarky, just for you.