What to Do on GAAP Weekend: Prospective Student Edition

Dear Class of 2021, and so on and so forth,

WELCOME to the Hilltop. D.C. or, as both the cool kids and the geotag call it, “the District,”  is breathtakingly beautiful and the Georgetown bubble (aka my happy place) is nestled in a cozy corner of this vibrant and inspiring city. Home to an ambitious and driven student body, professors for whom one is willing to spend hours studying on Lau 4 and one well-loved bulldog, Georgetown is well worth visiting. Sign up to have a Blue and Gray tour guide escort you along patios strewn with empty beer cans the Vil A rooftops and point out where Bill Clinton lived in Harbin Hall, before he left communal bathrooms and his cluster for a marginally-more-upscale White House residence. Additionally, please make note of following important “Do’s and Don’ts” of visiting our campus.

Don’t try to join the meme page

Please don’t pretend that you’re a non-conforming Jesuit teen. Prep school has not prepared you for this type of meme mastery. One ~incredibly persuasive~ reason to attend this university and surround yourself with peers who also did quite well on the SAT, is the high caliber of meme quality that you will find here. However, seeing as you don’t go here (yet), you probably won’t be able to fully appreciate our self-deprecating jokes. Additionally, by bemoaning the state of Leo’s, Lau and the basketball program, the meme page fails to highlight the many things that make Georgetown so wonderful, and we don’t want you to get the wrong impression.

Don’t disrespect Leo’s

What are the odds that Leo’s will look like the Hogwarts’ Great Hall after the remodel? (unfortunately slim..)

To the hordes of red-sweatshirt clad minions getting WAY too excited about the weird ice cream flavors and groups of parents concernedly poking at salads, I don’t really understand why you are here. First of all, it’s O’Donovan’s by the Waterfront, to you. You are not allowed to poke fun at Leo’s mysterious lack of forks, soggy scrambled eggs, or constant abundance of gross Rum Raisin ice cream unless you have spent 14-18 meals a week in this fine establishment, and Kim Kim knows you by name. Second, while Georgetown is truly an incredible place, our on-campus dining options are not the reason that my future children’s first words will be “Hoya Saxa.”

Don’t brag about going to Georgetown “Frat Parties”

I would like to help you make the important distinction between a “frat party” and a party (or awkward, sweaty gathering) thrown by a frat in a cramped and dimly lit Henle apartment. I suppose I am powerless to stop you from putting a video of yourself singing along to Closer on your Snapchat story or taking a shot of Vanilla Burnett’s (Disclaimer: teen drinking is very bad, and also illegal). Just know that you’re not as cool as you think you are.

Do bask in the glory of Healy Hall

Does looking up at the Healy clock tower give you chills? Copley Lawn, peppered with Hoyas studying on blankets, throwing frisbees and laughing with their friends, feels so perfectly collegiate. The idyllic-ness of the hundreds of color-coordinated tulips gently swaying in the breeze by the front gates (almost) justifies the exorbitant cost of arranging such botanical displays. Can you resist taking a picture with John Carroll? Of course not. He is the GOAT, and you probably won’t get in if you don’t document meeting him (in statue form). Please note, this is not all too good to be true. I can assure you that one year later, when I am hammocking with my favorite people on the front lawn, it still feels just as magical.

A few additional points of clarification:

  • If you got the impression on your tour that The Corp rules this campus, this intuition is quite correct.
  • Jack the Bulldog and I are in an exclusive relationship. Take as many pictures with him as you would like, but he and I have already booked a date for our Dahlgren Chapel wedding.

Photos/gifs: msfs.georgetown.edu, giphy.com, facebook.com

Hillary is Coming to the Hilltop

If you’re anything like us here at 4E, you probably freaked out pretty hard when you found out Hillary was coming to campus. I mean, after all, What Dreams Are Made Of” is a modern classic.

But after watching “The Lizzie McGuire Movie” for the umpteenth time in order to prepare ourselves for what we thought would be the first stop in the 2017 Hillary Duff Comeback Tour, we noticed something a little odd about our email invitations to the event in Gaston Hall on Friday.

The invitation didn’t say Hillary Duff, it said Hillary Rodham ClintonThis couldn’t be.

Last we’d heard, the former Secretary of State and pantsuit-aficionado was lost deep in the woods of Chappaqua, New York with her dogs. We wanted to do something about it, but sending a search team to look for America’s most accomplished grandma isn’t a part of The Hoya‘s budget.

At first, we didn’t know what to think. After months of #FakeNews, we didn’t know if we could even trust our own eyes. But there it was right in front of us.

The Hon. Hillary Rodham Clinton is coming to the Hilltop!

Since the announcement, questions have arisen.

  1. Do we get in line at 3 AM or 4 AM?
  2. Should we wear that old campaign T-shirt we haven’t been able to look at since November 8th without vigorously crying?
  3. Will she mention Trump?
    (Editor’s note: In a perfect world, he would show up at the speech too and they’d have a wizard’s duel à la McGonagall and Snape in “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows” over the presidency but hey, we get that that might be asking for a little too much. In fairness though, Healy Hall has always reminded us of Hogwarts.)

Whatever Hillz says, we’re sure it’ll be memorable. Almost as memorable as that time she won the popular vote by a few million votes and somehow still didn’t become president! Hahaha you’re so funny @ElectoralCollege! We’ll never get over that one! #TBT

Oh and Bill, if you see this, feel free to come too. We promise to get you lots of balloons.

Sources: giphy.com, tumblr.com, buzzfeed.com

Georgetown Buildings and the Hoyas You Find in Them

Welcome back to the Hilltop, Hoyas! With the first full weeks of classes upon us, you are likely still navigating your way to new buildings and classes, trying to get the hang of your new schedule. From debatably fictitious buildings like Maguire (pro-tip: it’s connected to Healy), to St. Mary’s – located even farther away than Darnall, to the labyrinth affectionately known as the ICC, to spaces within buildings that have their own designations (Sellinger Lounge?) – Georgetown seems to pride itself on the complexity of its campus layout. Alongside simply figuring out where your classes are and how you can get to them, you should also know the secrets required to assimilate into each building’s culture. Fear not—4E presents you with a quick analysis of the types of people that characterize some of the most popular buildings on campus.

Regents Hall

If the students around you look like they spent the night here, it is probably because they did. The aesthetic is pants, long sleeves, and closed-toe shoes, easily accessorized with lab goggles and a white coat. Lab chic, amiright? Safety is beauty. You know that you are in the right place if you are overhearing an excessive number of acronyms and words that may or may not be in the English language. Looking to fit in? Tell someone that you spent the afternoon doing a lab involving <insert long and complicated made-up word> acid.

Buzzwords: Erlenmeyer flask, formal lab report, pipette, preliminary plan of action, fume hood.

The ICC

Making their way around one of Georgetown’s most iconic and confusing buildings are Bill Clinton-esque prodigies, people whispering to themselves in languages other than English and an understandably large number of people who are utterly lost. You will likely come across some upshot nice students engaged in a heated argument with a PhD-armed professor who is kindly indulging their arrogant interesting ideas.

Buzzwords: proficiency test, pro-seminar, Map of Modern World, and an excessive number of acronyms that are oddly pronounced as words (STIA [stee-yah], IPEC [eye-peck], IPOL [eye-pole], IECO [echo???]) so as to fool all of us common folk not in the SFS [ess-effffffffU-ess].

MSB

You will feel immediately self-conscious upon entering the looming home of the infamous MSBros (and betches!). Surrounded by suit-clad students, you are well aware that you should have worn something other than your go-to cozy Lau-fit for class. Is one’s understanding of “Business Casual” attire considered in the business school admissions process? Very likely, yes.

While you may have been “shhh-ed” merely upon entering the MSB and your new MSBuds might be a little intimidating, don’t worry – underneath their layers of unnecessary dress clothes, the Georgetown MSB-ers tend to be friendly and dependable.

Buzzwords: finance (pronounced: “fen-ants”), interest rates, money and internship.

Reiss

Upon first glance, the inhabitants of Reiss may seem a little downtrodden: under-eye bags are all the rage, the parade in and out of large pre-med lectures appears slightly ominous and students are carting around textbooks large enough to justify foregoing weightlifting at Yates. However, look a little further and you’ll see students passionately gesticulating to each other to explain cool biological processes. You may even find new friends in the peaceful science-nerd oasis commonly known as the Blommer Research Library. Under Reiss’s crumbling (and questionably earthquake safe) façade is a group of passionate, dedicated and proudly nerdy individuals.

Buzzwords: pre-med prereq.’s, Born-Haber Cycle, R-group interactions, electronegativity, proof and lecture-capture.

Car Barn

The designation “CBN” on student schedules is sure to elicit groans as Car Barn is a full FOUR minutes farther than any other location on our ENORMOUS campus (sarcasm aside, I am groaning along with you all).

There are two primary types of Hoyas to be found in the infamous Car Barn. The first category of students is there for Einstein Bagel’s. A large number of students might be observed double-fisting bagels, eager to use a meal swipe at Einstein’s and substitute a bagel AND a smoothie for Leo’s questionable scrambled eggs.

The second group of Hoyas is involved in a Study Abroad program. You will find students excitingly chattering about their experiences studying or plans to study in exotic locations. My personal theory is that the Office of Global Education chose their Car Barn location knowing full well that students who recently spent time on the other side of the globe think nothing of walking a few blocks off of campus.

Buzzwords: strawberry-banana smoothie, “toasted, please,” language requirement and study proposal form.

Photos/gifs: giphy.com

How to Throw the Perfect Inauguration Day Party

January 20th 2017 is an important date for two reasons. First, it marks the inauguration of our nation’s 45th President and ushers in a new and unprecedented era in American history. Secondly, and much more importantly, it’s an official Georgetown University holiday, which means that we all get to be MSB students for a day and share in the luxurious experience of having no Friday classes! So if you’re searching for a fun way to spend your day off, look no further: we here at 4E have got you covered with some tips and tricks for the perfect Inauguration Day party.

Find the perfect spot to host

When you’re searching for the right place to throw your Inauguration Day bash, we recommend you choose a different location from wherever you hosted your Election Night party a few months ago- after all, nothing ruins a good party faster than terrifying flashbacks! Your best bet in terms of location is definitely the Village A rooftop. While you can’t really see the Capitol building from the roof, you can see the Washington Monument, which we all know provides the perfect patriotic background for that inevitable Inauguration Day Instagram, which you’ll probably post with an original, hilarious caption like #MakeAmericaLITagain

Invite some VIPs

To quote our next President, your party can’t be full of “losers and haters,” so when it comes to making your guest list, be sure to go the extra mile. Actually, you don’t even have to go a whole mile- just walk the few blocks to John Kerry’s house and invite him to your awesome party. He obviously can’t RSVP to your Facebook event for security reasons, so your safest bet is definitely to just go knock on his door and ask him face to face. His secret service agents totally won’t mind as long as you remember to extend the invitation to them as well. In the meantime, wander around campus and you’ll probably run into frequent Dahlgren Chapel-attendee, Joe Biden, or Georgetown’s favorite son and America’s favorite almost-first-husband, Bill Clinton. And after this election cycle, these guys are definitely ready to kick back and party, so be sure to toss an invite their way.

Make a playlist

No Inauguration Day party would be complete without the musical stylings of Trump’s new best friend, Kanye West. After the craziness known as the 2016 election, I don’t think any of us would even be surprised at this point if Kanye somehow ended up with a Cabinet position. In fact, we’re calling it now: we think a Trump/West 2020 ticket is in our future (in four years, remember you heard it here at 4E first!). And if Kanye’s ascent into the political arena is imminent, we must enjoy his musical genius while we still can. So at your party, be sure to “Runaway” from your fears about the next four years, ignore all those fake news stories and focus on the “Facts (Charlie Heat Version)” and remember that we can still be “Stronger” together even though Donald Trump will soon have all that “POWER” to “Run This Town.”

Choose beverages wisely

If you’re still feeling patriotic and want to make a political statement at your party, follow President Obama’s lead by enacting your own symbolic sanctions against Russia in the most college-way possible: boycotting Russian-brand vodka. In terms of what you can realistically afford, this basically means no Russian Standard and no Stolichnaya. Don’t worry, Smirnoff doesn’t count. If you’re looking for an alternative, we here at 4E recommend everyone’s favorite delicious (and American-made!) vodka, Burnett’s. For more information on this flavored poison refreshing beverage, check out some of our diligent research here.

There you have it: a few simple tips and tricks to make your Inauguration Day one to remember. And finally before we go, if you’re reading this, Mr. Trump (and based on your bizarre social media habits, there’s sadly good chance that you actually are), we wish you luck. Despite our differences, we hope that you prove us wrong and use these next four years to help lead our country in the right direction. But in the meantime, we here at 4E will continue to contribute to the “crooked media” by low key roasting you on a regular basis. Here’s to the next four years, neighbor.

Gifs: giphy.com, teepublic.com

President Obama Congratulates Georgetown

Charter Birthday

Today marks the 200th anniversary of Georgetown’s charter, officially incorporating the university into the District of Columbia. Signed by James Madison back in 1815, our current president, Barack Obama, weighed in on the momentous occasion today with a video uploaded onto Youtube.

“As your neighbor, I thought I’d say hello and congratulate you on the 200th anniversary of your charter,” President Obama begins, while then delving into the many varied accomplishments of Hoyas over time, and emphasizing the influence of Georgetown’s Jesuit values in different fields. Basically, the President thinks we’re awesome, thus confirming what we knew all along.

You can watch the full (less than 1 minute-long) video below. It’s totally worth it, especially for the very end. Hearing POTUS say “Hoya Saxa” is truly a transcendent experience that I will totally #humblebrag about in the future.

Other government leaders congratulated Georgetown today too, including Speaker of the House John Boehner, House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi and Senator Patrick Leahy.

Oh, and we just heard from Bill Clinton!

Check out the university’s statement (plus all of the congratulatory videos) here. Actually, if you want to check out the charter (it’s short), go for it.

So happy birthday, Georgetown, and Hoya Saxa!

(This post has been updated.)

Photo: sfs.georgetown.edu

Best of 4E: 2014 Edition

Best of 2014

2014 is over! That’s right folks, another year has come and gone, and what do we have to show for it? Well, in 4E’s case, a bunch of articles. We’ve compiled a list of 4E’s 25 greatest hits written this year, ranked in order of page views. Read on and enjoy:

Georgetown-Themed Pickup LinesAn instant classic. Any of these lines were and are perfect, whether you’re chatting with that hottie in Problem of God or meeting Bill Clinton.

Lau is Soul-CrushingAnd will never not be.

Mr. Georgetown 2014Go back to the article now and change your vote to Thomas Lloyd, so you can say you were right all along.

Embassy Row Trick-or-TreatingCulture and candy, a feast for the brain and the sweet tooth.

Healy Clock Hands Went Bye-ByeUntil they were replaced one day later.

Naming the HealFamStuCentThat’s the nickname we decided on, right?

Georgetown Day EveLess than four months until Georgetown Day 2015!

Second Semester Senior ShenanigansFor all the SWUGs out there.

Tombs Cancels Wine NightSorry, SWUGs.

Things Students Would Never SayNever say never! Someday the HFSC seating will make sense!

JesRes Dorm DeetsHousing Is Coming.

Georgetown Students = Olivia PopeUh, we wish.

Georgetown 2048We know you still play it.

Wills and Kate Come to DCCome back soon, friends!

Georgetown Reacts to FergusonMany extremely insightful words from faculty and students alike.

If a GUSA Campaign Doesn’t Have a Video, Are They Even Running for GUSA? Hint: The answer is no.

Top Hoya Comments EverBecause Internet commenters are the best!

Reiss Pathway Forever In Our HeartsI dreamed a dream in time gone by…

HFSC Open for BusinessBringing another factor into the “Where should I go to study tonight?” game, which inevitably ends in hiding under the covers and watching old “30 Rock” episodes. 

4E Blogger Is Also Georgetown Confessions PhenomHe was written about thrice. THRICE!

Last-Minute CostumesYou’re not fooling anyone with your “Georgetown Student” costume, bud.

Who Stole the Hands? We know it was you, Joey B. Ugh, you’re such a Scorpio!

Which Georgetown Alum Are You? Are you more Patrick Ewing or Nick Kroll? The answer may surprise you!

Concert for Valor MixHeard Ri-Ri and Bruce killed it.

Thanks to all our readers for a wonderful year! Catch you guys in 2015!

Manly Monday: Georgetown Alumni Facial Hair Review

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Movember is upon us. And if “moisture is the essence of wetness and wetness is the essence of beauty,” then facial hair is definitely the essence of manliness. Plus you can celebrate Movember to raise money and awareness for a good cause. With that in mind, let’s take a moment to appreciate some of the most famous beards in Georgetown history.

Patrick Ewing (CAS ’85)

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Although we generally associate handlebar mustaches with creepy neighbors and fictional 1970s television broadcast teams in the greater San Diego area, Ewing pulls off this ‘stache with pizazz. If you’re also a Hall-of-Fame-caliber basketball player, then you might want to consider growing out a handlebar mustache. Otherwise, we’d advise you to stay away.

Nick Kroll (COL ’01)

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Kroll has tested out a few different beards and mustaches over the years, everything from the classic lazy beard to the 80s-style creeper ‘stache. His Larry Bird mustache might be somewhat ahistorical, but at least it’s manly.

John Mulaney (COL ’04)

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A pupil of Nick Kroll, Mulaney has dominated the comedy circuit in recent years, but he hasn’t quite mastered the facial hair. Maybe someday, John.

Bill Clinton (SFS ’68)

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You may know him as a polished former President and potential “First Gentleman,” but Bubba used to showcase a shaggy beard in his college days. For those you hoping to follow in Bill’s footsteps, consider growing out your facial hair. Plus, it might help you attract a smart hippie like Hillary.

Happy Movember everybody!

Photos: respondmississippi.blogspot.com, thedistractionnetwork.com, galleryhip.com, funny-pictures.picphotos.net, lockerdome.com, ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com, dailymail.co.uk

What I Miss Most…

things we already miss

Hey, Hoyas, how long’s it been?

Oh yeah, that’s right, two weeks.

It’s only been two weeks since we’ve left campus for summer vacation, but if you’re feeling anything like I am, there’s already a soft, yearning pain deep within your soul that pulls at your heartstrings and cries out “Hoya Saxa” with the same melancholy nostalgia of Céline Dion in this classic video.

Though you might be happily abuzz with your summer job or internship, and though you might be comfortably lounging in your own bed at home, there are some parts about the Hilltop that might be making you feel a bit, well… homesick. Here’s what I (and probably many of you) miss most about Georgetown over summer vacation:

Seeing Healy every day

There’s just something I miss about returning back to campus at night and looking up to see this:

5112800787_b18f0c7f7b_zOr waking up to this:5639811730_c375e06790_z

And walking to class and seeing this:950_47_John-Carroll-Spring-Tulips-optimized

And it would always make me feel like this:

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I miss eating Wisey’s…

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…and Sweetgreen…

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…and Baked & Wired…baked-and-wired-2

And I’m like:

tumblr_inline_mmfu9bTEXk1qz4rgpI miss the Georgetown Waterfront…

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…even in the winter!

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I miss The Tombs.

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It’s such a great place!

Dining_TheTombsThough I doubt I miss the establishment as much as those in 99 Days Club. Now that they have graduated, they probably feel like this:

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I miss Chicken Finger Thursdays…

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…and brunch!

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And I miss Hoya Basketball…

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… and Bill “Slick Willy” Clinton!

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But more than anything, I miss my friends…

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NO! Not those friends. These friends:

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See you in August, Hoyas!

Photos: University Registrar, GU82HoyaSaxa, Casual Hoya, Crashing the Goalie, GU Dining, Tombs, Georgetown DC, Capital Spice, Flickr, DC About, Georgetown Metropolitan, Guest of a Guest

Gifs: Tumblr.com

Study Week Alternatives

study week alternatives

Feeling overwhelmed by finals? When you start talking about Shakespeare’s economic theory or George Washington’s impact on the Civil War, you know it’s time to take a break.  Luckily for you, Georgetown (and the surrounding area) has a busy schedule of events to give students opportunities for study-week getaways.

Monday, April 29th @ 7:30 PM- Georgetown University Chamber Singers

On Monday night in the Gonda Theater in Davis Performing Arts Center, Georgetown’s very own Chamber singers will be performing at 7:30pm.  Come out for a great concert of chamber music celebrating the Italian Renaissance, as well as supporting your fellow students.

Tuesday, April 30th @ 10:30 AM- Bill Clinton

As I’m sure most of you have heard, former president Bill Clinton will be at Georgetown on Tuesday, giving a lecture in the morning in Gaston Hall.  Doors open at 9am, close at 10:15am, and students are not supposed to begin lining up before 7am.  What better way to get motivated for finals than to go listen to a Georgetown alumnus who made it to the pinnacle of his field, and surely still has a lot of insight.

Every night @ 6 PM- Free Concerts at the Kennedy Center

Looking to get off campus, see a concert, and not have to pay? The Kennedy Center has your answer! Every night at 6pm, the Kennedy Center has free concerts on the Millennium Stage, starting this week with Dance Metro DC on Monday and the US Army Field Band Jazz Ambassadors Tuesday night.  The full schedule can be found here.

Friday, May 3rd @ 11:00 AM- 12:00 PM- Free Yoga

Need to de-stress? Yates will be having free yoga on Friday morning in the dance/exercise room.  No registration is required, you just need to be a Georgetown student.  Find out more information at the Yates site.

There are various other events going on, so be sure to check out your Facebook invites and the Georgetown events page.  Also, the Meditation Center or your building’s Chaplain in Residence can offer opportunities to relax and de-stress.  And if you don’t have time to go to one of these events, just be sure to take a few minutes to take a break and take a couple deep breaths.  Good luck!

Ragin’ Cajun: The Many Faces of James Carville

Speaker Series NY

On April 22, 2013, the Georgetown University Lecture Fund will present a lecture by James Carville, one of America’s leading Democratic political strategists. Carville, who has garnered national and international acclaim for his campaign work for Bill Clinton, Tony Blair and more, will soon be bringing his Southern swagger to ICC Auditorium.

To help prepare for Carville’s fiery antics at the event, here are some of the many faces of this famous, feisty, New Orleans strategist:

This is James Carville:

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He loves politics and pointing. Here he is on Meet the Press:

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And here he is on Fox News giving a salute. How patriotic!

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Sometimes politics make him angry…

NEWS James Carville during a speech at UNLV on Tuesday photo by jeff scheid

…but other times he is very happy, as he is here with Bill Clinton.

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In fact, he was this happy when Slick Willy won the presidency in ’92!

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Carville, a native Louisianan, loves New Orleans.

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And when we say he loves New Orleans, we mean he loves New Orleans.

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Married to Republican political strategist, Mary Matalin, you could say Carville’s a simple family guy.

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In fact, he’s even been on Family Guy!

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And Saturday Night Live … Wait a second. That’s just an impersonation on Weekend Update. Silly Bill Hader, tricks are for kids!

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Or maybe even Lord of the Rings?

Regardless, Carville is a big name in American politics — almost like a Founding Father!

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And even though we can’t explain this …carvilbeth

… we still think he’s a pretty cool guy. We can’t wait to see him on the Hilltop next week!

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Photos: Wikipedia, CNN, Entertaining City, Gawker, Vanity Fair, EW.com, Family Guy Wikia, Short Form, Jammie Wearing Fool, Politico, Zimbio, Skylighting City, GOP 12 The Hill, NY Times