If you’ve walked by Healy at some point during the past 24 hours, you — like those at 4E — would know that Georgetown’s own Bradley Cooper is coming to campus today. And even though Bradley somehow rooted for Villanova in the NCAA tournament two years ago, we are very excited about this news. So, in preparation, we here at 4E have created a list of potential questions for our readers to ask Bradley. Look no further for some creative ways to get his attention (and possibly steal his heart):
1. Hot Chick or Chicken Madness?
Obviously, Bradley will be able to end this debate once and for all. (Editor’s Note: it’s Chicken Madness. Not even close.)
2. Will you come with me to DipBall?
Bradley turned someone down for this same question in 2010, but maybe second time’s the charm?
3. Do you know the location of the Wisey’s Rat?
(If anyone knows the location of the Wisey’s Rat please contact 4E ASAP. We have some questions.)
The trees on Prospect Street are starting to change color. The NSO horde has descended upon campus, tasked with welcoming over a thousand new students. Jack the Bulldog is on his way home from a restful summer vacation in Turks & Caicos.
In other words, the start of a new school year is here.
We’ve been away for a while, so 4E has placed several investigative journalists on the scene to inform you, our readers, about the current state of life at Georgetown.
1. Late Night Leo’s is back. This reporter got eyes on a top-secret Dining Committee meeting in which, praise be, it was confirmed that Leo’s will be both extending its evening hours AND its daily breakfast hours. Things are really looking up. How to take advantage of this upgrade: take your significant other on a romantic date in the sensual ambiance of post-9pm O’Donovan’s on the Waterfront.
2.Senseless construction projects continue to reign supreme. This reporter has gathered several receipts on the noisy, bothersome operations that disrupt the usually mediocre idyllic standard of life at Georgetown. From the Hospital Pavilion to the perplexing gated area in front of Regents, prepare yourselves for a year of getting woken up early by drill sounds.
3. Coming Soon: Big Mouth Season 2. 4E’s favorite Hoyalumni, John Mulaney and Nick Kroll, have been killing it with their stand-up specials, Broadway shows and overall hilariousness. The former GU Improv duo made puberty the ~butt~ of many jokes with Netflix’s Big Mouth. Lucky for us, more is supposedly coming our way this fall. Be sure to binge watch instead of studying for midterms. Its what John and Nick would have wanted.
4. Rats. They’re everywhere. Returning students are generally desensitized to the presence of rodents on campus, but it feels like they’ve come back with a vengeance this year. This reporter was personally victimized by several SCREECHING critters on the way back from LXR last night. Just throwing it out there—there’s no shame in taking a SafeRide from ICC to Vil A to avoid them.
5.LIL DICKY is coming to town. Not ~technically~ a Georgetown-specific event, but if you haven’t bought tickets yet for his November 6th show, GET THEM NOW. I’m totally not writing this so I can DM him and tell him that I personally sold tickets on his behalf, causing him to fall in love and have beautiful Jewish babies with me.
6. Kirstjen Nielsen. While most of us were topping off our tans and drinking vodka lemonades, this Georgetown grad spent her summer separating families and interning children in “tender-age facilities.” I can’t *smh* enough about the work of Kirstjen and her fellow #guilty alum, Mr. Paul Manafort.
7.Midterms! I’m not talking about the ones that give you a temporary ulcer and make you question the purpose of higher education. DC is about to be torn apart in a storm of political divisiveness, so hurry up and get yourselves Hillternships ASAP so you can watch it happen. Caveat emptor: you have to actually vote in order to participate.
8. You’re still playing yourself. Georgetown may be one of the top schools in the country, but even great intellect can’t stop smart people from doing stupid things. Locking yourself out of your room for the third time in three days really makes you question the teachers who told you to dream big back in high school. Here’s to a year full of dumb mistakes…
Take a break from rationing your remaining flex dollars and crying at the thought of having to eat at New Leo’s, because Parents Weekend (a.k.a. Beg Your Parents to Buy You Food Weekend) is upon us. And while it’s certainly nice to see the ‘rents (s/o my fellow #millennials), there are always some moms and dads you should be on the lookout for. To help you out, we’ve complied a list of the five parents you will meet during Parents Weekend:
1. The “Alumnus”
This parent answers the hypothetical question, “What if Jersey Night was somehow a dad?” Get ready for a weekend full of some definitely-not-exaggerated stories about those “wild nights at The Tombs” and how he/she totally used to “party with Patrick Ewing” “back in the day”. The “Alumnus” can usually be found reminiscing about how “the drinking age used to be 18” or how “the basketball team used to be good,” while staring wistfully at Healy and telling you about the time his/her roommate fell out of a New South window. Should you have to interact with one of these parents over the course of your weekend, our best advice is to continually reassure the “Alumnus” that you too love the movie St. Elmo’s Fire, while casually hinting how “cool” it would be if someone could buy you a case of Natty.
2. The “Empty-Nester”
This parent is still having a hard time accepting that the baby of the family is off at college. The Empty-Nester will spend the weekend doing the child’s laundry and thanklessly trying to replicate a home-cooked meal in the middle of a VCW common room. If your parent is the “Empty-Nester”, be sure to blatantly lie reassure them that you are making good choices, exercising regularly, and studying diligently every night before going to sleep promptly at 10 p.m. If you come into contact with someone else’s “Empty-Nester” mom or dad, be sure to nod sympathetically and mention how your own parents have simply replaced you with a dog.
3. The “Well, MY Son/Daughter Doesn’t Drink”
This parent is hopelessly out of touch with reality. When meeting other parents, this mom or dad will immediately assert a (false) superiority by saying some variation of “Well, my [insert child’s name] isn’t much of a partier” or “Well, my [insert child’s name here] is too busy studying to really go out much”. Nine times out of ten, this parent’s beloved child is the same child you once found passed out next to an empty can of Four Loko in a bathroom on a Tuesday night. If you meet one of these parents, resist the urge to show off all those incriminating Snapchats you’ve screenshotted, and simply go along with the naïve charade. Someday, likely in the form of a hospital bill after [insert child’s name here] is GERMSed from falling down the Vil A rooftop steps, the truth behind all those alleged “nights in Lau” will come out. But Parents Weekend is not that day.
4. The “Is This Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend??”
This parent will spend the entire weekend launching a full-scale, Spanish-Inquisition-style investigation into his or her child’s dating life. This will include asking every carbon-based lifeform that comes within ten feet of New South, “So…you and [insert child’s name] are…friends?” If this is your parent, expect a weekend of having your room discreetly searched for evidence, and continually being asked “whom are you texting?” and “is there anything you want to tell me?” as you walk around campus. If you find yourself in a situation where this is one of your friend’s parents, we suggest you remove yourself from this situation as quickly as possible, unless you want to become the next contestant on a never-ending Jeopardy episode where every category is just “Are You Dating My Son???”
5. The “Trump Supporter”
This one goes out to you, Hoyas from Michigan, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania. So step away from the “H*yas for Choice” table and rip that “Feel the Bern” sticker off your laptop, because all your friends are about to find out that your parent(s) are wholly responsible for the horrible and embarrassing end of American Democracy as we know it voted for Donald J. Trump. If you want to keep some semblance of familial cordiality and make it through the weekend on speaking terms, follow some of these helpful tips and tricks:
DO NOT mention what happened when Jeff Sessions spoke at the Law School a few weeks ago.
DO NOT mention that Hillary spoke in Gaston last year.
DO NOT mention anything about her famous Hoya Husband either.
DO mention that Steve Bannon and Paul Manafort are alumni? (#notmyhoyas).
So there you have it: The five parents you will meet on parents weekend. From all of us here at 4E: be safe, have fun, and enjoy putting off that midterm paper in favor of getting brunch with the #rents.
Way back when in 2012, 4E wrote an article about Georgetown’s Fictional Alumni. While this post covered the classic Georgetown movie/TV references, we now have 3 more years of media that calls out the Hilltop.
1. Melanie Porter (Raven Symoné): Those of you who understand real culture must remember the classic Disney film, College Road Trip. Raven plays a college senior applying to Georgetown University (which she eventually attends). While the school filmed in this movie looks nothing like our hilltop, it is certainly nice to be recognized by Disney. Also, who could forget the double dutch bus (AKA the best song of the century)?
2. Spencer Hastings (Troian Bellisario): It was only a week ago that the star of Pretty Little Liar’s character announced that she was attending Georgetown University and, since then, tweens have been buzzing about it. Why should we be surprised? Her hyper stressed attitude, love of caffeine and preppy style fit perfectly into the Georgetown stereotype.
3. Walter Larson (Tim Robbins) and Haroon Raja (Bernard White): Both of these characters from the new show The Brink are supposed Georgetown grads. Robbins plays the US Secretary of State and White plays Pakistan’s ISI. Probably SFS grads #diplomacy.
4. Carrie Mathison (Claire Danes): According to this article, the Homeland main character is also a Georgetown alum. While I have never seen this show (I know, what am I doing with my life), I’ve heard that her character is pretty bad-ass. I mean she works for the CIA, how much more SFS can you get?
5. Alicia Florrick (Julianna Margulies) and Will Gardner (Josh Charles): Of course representing Georgetown Law are these two lawyers from The Good Wife. Our beloved university plays the particularly important role of bringing these two together, whose relationship is an extremely important part of show.
6. Olivia Pope (Kerry Washington): Another Georgetown Law “alumni” is none other than Ms. Pope herself, the gladiator. She is beloved by Georgetown students (AKA my idol), and truly personifies the Georgetown personality.
7. Sterling Archer (H. Jon Benjamin): Added by popular demand is Agent Archer. Sadly, I have never seen this. Sorry fans. But if you say he went to Georgetown, I’ll believe you. Hoya Saxa spies.
Hot off the heels of Rangila comes another exciting Bollywood-related event at Georgetown — but this is no extracurricular activity. Aditya Sahajwalla (MSB ’11) proposed to Bahar Dave (SFS ’11) on the steps of White Gravenor Hall with an amazing Bollywood dance routine.
Fr. Kevin O’Brien, S.J., first brought our attention to this momentous event (which actually took place Nov. 15) via his Facebook page:
That’s right, everyone. Two Georgetown alumni got engaged on the steps of an academic building. And you thought White Gravenor was just for last-minute add-drop and psych seminars.
Check out the incredible, heart-warming video here (complete with Bahar’s reactions captured in the corner). Congratulations to Aditya and Bahar!
John Mulaney, who graduated from the College in 2004, has a self-titled show that is premiering tonight at 9:30 p.m. on Fox. Sure you know that Bill Clinton and Bradley Cooper attended Georgetown, but you’re only a true Hoya if you know this guy, our own lanky little gem.
Prior to working on this show, Mulaney wrote for “Saturday Night Live” where he co-created the character Stefon with actor Bill Hader. Whoa. SPICY. Mulaney also does incredible stand-up. You must see his skit, New in Town. Here’s a short clip of it.
Whenever I watch this clip, I wonder if the perfume story happened somewhere on N Street or in Burleith:
So he’s hysterical and he makes us proud to be Hoyas. And now he has a show called “Mulaney.” The Twitter-verse is chattering, including two former Hoyas. Mike Birbiglia (COL ’00), a big-shot comic in his own right, weighed in:
Excited for @Mulaney premiere tonight on Fox. 930pm. One of the funniest people I’ve ever known. Oh great now this sounds like a eulogy.
Nick Kroll (COL ’01), a comedian and actor who wrote for the Chapelle Show, played “the douche” on “Parks and Rec,” Ruxin on “The League,” and created and stars in the “Kroll Show” (along with Mulaney), also chimed in:
We’re glad to see funny Hoyas sticking together and hustling the world for all it’s worth.
If “Mulaney” is anywhere close to being as funny as Stefon or the comedian’s stand up, we’ll all be living the #blessed life. Just make sure to let everyone know that this dude is a Hoya. John Mulaney is the Hoya we all wish we could be. Congrats, you little fat girl.
To paraphrase my girl Lorde, I will never be royal. But I can think of a Georgetown alumna who is closer to royalty than I’ll ever be: Lizzy Wilson!
Granddaughter of the founder of the Holiday Inn corporation, Elizabeth Alleen Wilson, went to the University of Virginia for her undergraduate degree. She went on to enroll at Georgetown for graduate school, earning her degree in art and museum studies. While living in London after graduation, Lizzy met the one and only Guy Pelly. Who’s that, you may ask? Oh, just one of the BFF’s of Princes William and Harry and Princesses Beatrice and Eugenie.
Pelly, ever the romantic, stated after his engagement to Lizzy, “I have calmed down quite a bit socially and I love babies.” The two were married in Dahlgren — just kidding — in Memphis this weekend! Joining the happy couple were the royals, enjoying everything Memphis has to offer, including Graceland and good old BBQ.
Why Memphis? It’s a city where the Wilson family has quite a bit of social capital. And it looks like they’re going to earn a lot more now that their prodigal daughter has entered the inner(ish) circle of the royal family. Congrats, Lizzy! You may be a Pelly after this weekend, but you’ll always be a Hoya.
A new, interesting fashion trend is sweeping Georgetown as well-known Hoyas are losing the brows and donning toothless grins! Well, not really. But, with the help of some amateur (really, really amateur) Photoshopping, we can see if it’s working for any of these Hilltop Hotties. For all your viewing pleasure (read: displeasure), here’s Georgetown without eyebrows or teeth!
JTIII without eyebrows (or a mustache!)
Otto Porter sans his pearly-whites
Savannah Guthrie (LAW ’02) showing off those gums! So healthy and pink!
Madeleine Albright plucked for fashion, too
Bradley Cooper (COL ’97) goes topless without his upper row of chompers! Wow!
Another trend-setter, John Carroll!
Even The Hoya’s online editor, Lindsay Lee, is on top of this fad!
So, Hoyas, who wore it best? Will this style be the new vogue? Who is next to don this up-to-the-minute style? 4E will be sure to keep you posted!
Today, actors Michael Douglas and Jared Leto have come under criticism for their strange and possibly homophobic acceptance speeches during the Golden Globes award ceremony last night. Their comments came as a bit of a shock, considering both had been honored for playing prominent LGBT roles.
While accepting his Golden Globe, Douglas, who earned the prize for his portrayal of the piano icon Liberace in Behind the Candelabra, said,“Being the paranoid actor that I was, I thought maybe I was mincing a little bit in the part that I was doing.”
Leto also made some awkward statements during his acceptance speech. Referring to getting his body waxed to play a transgender woman named Rayon in Dallas Buyers Club, he remarked, “I’m just fortunate it wasn’t a period piece so I didn’t have to do full Brazilian. Ladies, you know what I’m talking about; and so do some of you men, I think.”
When hearing Leto’s statement, many ceremony attendees let out a chuckle. Bradley Cooper (COL ’97), however, had a different reaction to the inconsiderate comment:
His reaction just gives us another reason to think Bradley Cooper is so awesome: He doesn’t like weird digs to the LGBT community.
Results for Notable Alumni Round 1 are in: Patrick Ewing bested the top seeded Bradley Cooper by only 11 votes, and Bill Clinton showed who’s really in charge by destroying Zoey Bartlet (much to the chagrin of our managing editor). Georgetown has spoken; we like basketball and presidents. Simple as that.
Now two alumni compete to make the Final Four. It’s Patrick Ewing vs. Bill Clinton.
I think we’d all agree that Ewing has aged pretty well
But let’s not forget about Bill Clinton, who ages like a fine bottle of wine.
His DNC speech was a little drawn out, but few people can captivate so many people for so long…
Then again, Ewing is one of those people. He kept audiences captivated his entire career for entire games.
Speaking of careers, Bill Clinton was the freaking President of the United States: something kids and adults alike aspire to be.
But then again Patrick Ewing was a killer pro-basketball player: something kids actually want to do.
As a pro-athlete, I’d say it’s safe to assume that Ewing got a lot of the ladies
But having taken AP US History, I’m pretty sure Bill Clinton did too…
It’s up to you, Georgetown. Pick one of the most beloved politicians or one of the most famous athletes in the American history. Vote here and check in for the results.
Notable Alumni Round 2: Patrick Ewing or Bill Clinton?