A Guide To Homecoming

Yes, it’s sadly still midterm season, which means that you’re probably reading this article on Lau 2 while simultaneously crafting a last-minute email to your professor begging for an extension. But now it’s time for you to take a break from the stress and completely ignore all your responsibilities, because #HoyaHomecoming is officially upon us. In honor of the one day a year we can kind of act like a state school, we here at 4E have complied a helpful guide to make sure that your Homecoming experience is a success.

#HoyaHomecoming 2017, colorized.

Remember: It’s a Marathon, Not a Sprint

Look, we’ve all been there: You and 20 of your closest friends are crammed into a 12×15 foot dorm room. You’re looking ~fresh~ in your very original, one-of-a-kind, totally unique Georgetown basketball jersey. Your signature song (“Hips Don’t Lie” by Shakira) is playing, and that cutie from your Econ class is definitely taking notice of your impressive dabbing ability. Needless to say, the pregame is ~lit~. And at some point, this level of “litness” will likely inspire you to “go all out” for #HoyaHomecoming and do one of the following: A) Take way too many shots of Fireball B) Take way too many shots of Lime Burnett’s or C) Chug an entire can of Four Loko.

As you consider your options, 4E is here to give you some friendly advice: DON’T DO IT. Under the florescent lights of that sweaty dorm room, we know it may seem like a good idea, but trust us, in a few hours, you will come to the painful realization that it was not. The key to a successful Homecoming is to pace yourself. Unlike a normal night out, you will be expected both to stay awake for more than four hours and to functionally interact with actual adults in a non-Piano-Bar-setting. Neither of those things will be possible if you achieve maximum “litness” at 9 a.m. And as you make your decisions about how much to drink throughout the rest of the day, just remember that while Homecoming may be temporary, Snapchat screenshots are forever.

Love Thy Neighbor.

If you remember anything from last year’s homecoming, you’ll remember that our neighbors literally hate us. And noise. And alcohol. And anything even remotely resembling fun. So despite the fact that they knew ~Georgetown~ University was located here when they made the decision to move to ~Georgetown~, they will not hesitate to call the feds S.N.A.P.S on us if they catch the slightest whiff of Burnett’s or hear even the faintest hint of “Mr. Brightside” coming from a townhouse. Unfortunately for many of our readers out there, what this means is that most of your upperclassman friends will probably not be cool with you and every other member of Darnall 5 crashing their party.

But don’t worry! Getting rejected from and/or getting kicked out of at least one party is basically a #HoyaHomecoming rite of passage. And there are still plenty of other fun ways for you to spend your day! You can wander aimlessly around the neighborhood and engage in some classic Georgetown traditions, such as sprinting away from GUPD cars, getting yelled at by old people who may or may not be John Kerry, and searching for half-empty cans of Natty that have been discarded on the street.

Back on campus, you can easily sneak into pay for a ticket to the tailgate on Regents lawn- here you can do some cool stuff like get a sunburn and make awkward small talk with alumni while you wait in the food line for 20 minutes. And of course, if all else fails, we’ll always have the Vil A rooftop. Nothing says #HoyaHomecoming quite like gazing out at that beautiful Arlington skyline as you watch  your classmates come dangerously close to falling over the railing.

Georgetown residents upon seeing even a single red solo cup

Water. Food. Rest. Repeat.

Remember what I said earlier about pacing yourself? I can already tell that you didn’t listen to me. Now you’re exhausted, your phone is dead, and you’re sitting on the floor of a New South bathroom, wondering where it all went wrong. You’ve managed to lose both your dignity and your GoCard- and it’s still only noon. Bet you don’t feel so “lit” anymore, huh? But don’t despair – 4E is here to save you! First, you need to walk/crawl to the nearest vending machine/sink/Dahlgren Fountain, and HYDRATE. You are in desperate need of H2O. Drink up.

Next, you need to eat something that will help counteract the consequences of that last Natty you ~regrettably~ decided to shotgun. If you can’t talk your way back into the tailgate to acquire some free pizza, we recommend you stick with what you know and head on over to Wisey’s. After all, the best Chicken Madnesses are the ones you don’t remember eating.

Finally, your phone isn’t the only thing that needs to recharge. Whether it’s in your own bed or in the middle of Healy Lawn, you need to take a power nap. Find a spot, tell a friend to wake you up in an hour and pass out. Don’t worry, the Vil A rooftop isn’t going anywhere. There will be plenty more opportunities to embarrass yourself when you wake up.

You at Homecoming if you ignore my advice

Make Memories

As a distinguished member of the class of ‘85 drunkenly yelled at me during Homecoming last year once told me, college is the best four years of your life. I know this may not seem true as you stress-cry while writing a paper on Lau 2 at 4 a.m., but Homecoming gives you the perfect opportunity to rediscover why you first fell in love with Georgetown all those year(s) ago. So don’t be afraid to belt out the (probably wrong) lyrics to the fight song when someone inevitably starts up a bad acapella rendition in the middle of a party. Don’t be afraid to make valuable future business connections new friends as you wait in line for food at the tailgate. Don’t be afraid to break your wrist from falling off of the John Carrol statue while trying to take that perfect #HoyaHomecoming Instagram.

Because we here at 4E want to let you in on a secret: our sources can confirm that the real world is a scary place. Apparently, once you turn 23, it is suddenly no longer acceptable to sleep until 2 p.m. every day, or eat chicken fingers for every meal, or religiously attend an event called “Jersey Night” every Wednesday. And so, my fellow students, be sure to enjoy every moment of your time here on the Hilltop. And to all the alumni out there reading this guide with a mix of shock, nostalgia, and anticipation, we leave you with the immortal words of Saint John Thompson Jr: “If I can’t go to Heaven, take me back to Georgetown.”

See you soon, and Hoya Saxa.

P.S: Please actually make good choices! And remember that GERMS can always be reached at 202-687-4357.

Sources: giphy.com/ Lauinger Library

Why 20 Is Not an Irrelevant Age

We here at 4E have set out to explain Why 20 Is Not Irrelevant: You may not get a Tombs Night, but the big 2-0 has some perks.

  1. Congrats! You’ve beaten teen pregnancy!  Take pride in accomplishing something Kylie Jenner could not.

  2. You’ve likely spent fifteen years of your life in school and still don’t understand taxes. But, hey, at least you know that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell!
  3. It is legal to drink in Iceland and Japan. Is there a Tombs in Tokyo?


  4. You’re closer to turning 40 than you are to birth!
  5. Teenage emo phases are over — it ISN’T a phase mom, this IS the real me.


  6. You can officially feel out of touch with ~the youth~ and not feel like a bad millennial. I never understood fidget spinners anyway, to be honest.


  7. Society expects you to get married, have kids and successfully establish a career during this decade! (I’m fine, he’s fine, we’re ALL FINE!)

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, eaglesgymnastics.com

The 5 Parents You Will Meet During Parents Weekend

Take a break from rationing your remaining flex dollars and crying at the thought of having to eat at New Leo’s, because Parents Weekend (a.k.a. Beg Your Parents to Buy You Food Weekend) is upon us. And while it’s certainly nice to see the ‘rents (s/o my fellow #millennials), there are always some moms and dads you should be on the lookout for. To help you out, we’ve complied a list of the five parents you will meet during Parents Weekend:

1. The “Alumnus”

This parent answers the hypothetical question, “What if Jersey Night was somehow a dad?” Get ready for a weekend full of some definitely-not-exaggerated stories about those “wild nights at The Tombs” and how he/she totally used to “party with Patrick Ewing” “back in the day”. The “Alumnus” can usually be found reminiscing about how “the drinking age used to be 18” or how “the basketball team used to be good,” while staring wistfully at Healy and telling you about the time his/her roommate fell out of a New South window. Should you have to interact with one of these parents over the course of your weekend, our best advice is to continually reassure the “Alumnus” that you too love the movie St. Elmo’s Fire, while casually hinting how “cool” it would be if someone could buy you a case of Natty.

The “Alumnus” “Back in the Day”

2. The “Empty-Nester”

This parent is still having a hard time accepting that the baby of the family is off at college. The Empty-Nester will spend the weekend doing the child’s laundry and thanklessly trying to replicate a home-cooked meal in the middle of a VCW common room. If your parent is the “Empty-Nester”, be sure to blatantly lie reassure them that you are making good choices, exercising regularly, and studying diligently every night before going to sleep promptly at 10 p.m. If you come into contact with someone else’s “Empty-Nester” mom or dad, be sure to nod sympathetically and mention how your own parents have simply replaced you with a dog.

The “Empty-Nester” at Parents Weekend

3. The “Well, MY Son/Daughter Doesn’t Drink”

This parent is hopelessly out of touch with reality. When meeting other parents, this mom or dad will immediately assert a (false) superiority by saying some variation of “Well, my [insert child’s name] isn’t much of a partier” or “Well, my [insert child’s name here] is too busy studying to really go out much”.  Nine times out of ten, this parent’s beloved child is the same child you once found passed out next to an empty can of Four Loko in a bathroom on a Tuesday night. If you meet one of these parents, resist the urge to show off all those incriminating Snapchats you’ve screenshotted, and simply go along with the naïve charade. Someday, likely in the form of a hospital bill after [insert child’s name here] is GERMSed from falling down the Vil A rooftop steps, the truth behind all those alleged “nights in Lau” will come out. But Parents Weekend is not that day.

Interacting with The “Well, My Son/Daughter Doesn’t Drink”

4. The “Is This Your Boyfriend/Girlfriend??”

This parent will spend the entire weekend launching a full-scale, Spanish-Inquisition-style investigation into his or her child’s dating life. This will include asking every carbon-based lifeform that comes within ten feet of New South, “So…you and [insert child’s name] are…friends?” If this is your parent, expect a weekend of having your room discreetly searched for evidence, and continually being asked “whom are you texting?” and “is there anything you want to tell me?” as you walk around campus. If you find yourself in a situation where this is one of your friend’s parents, we suggest you remove yourself from this situation as quickly as possible, unless you want to become the next contestant on a never-ending Jeopardy episode where every category is just “Are You Dating My Son???”

We have all met this mom

5. The “Trump Supporter”

This one goes out to you, Hoyas from Michigan, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania. So step away from the “H*yas for Choice” table and rip that “Feel the Bern” sticker off your laptop, because all your friends are about to find out that your parent(s) are wholly responsible for the horrible and embarrassing end of American Democracy as we know it voted for Donald J. Trump. If you want to keep some semblance of familial cordiality and make it through the weekend on speaking terms, follow some of these helpful tips and tricks:

  • DO NOT mention what happened when Jeff Sessions spoke at the Law School a few weeks ago.
  • DO NOT mention that Hillary spoke in Gaston last year.
  • DO NOT mention anything about her famous Hoya Husband either.
  • DO mention that Steve Bannon and Paul Manafort are alumni? (#notmyhoyas).
You, when your “Trump Supporter” parents talk to your friends

So there you have it: The five parents you will meet on parents weekend. From all of us here at 4E: be safe, have fun, and enjoy putting off that midterm paper in favor of getting brunch with the #rents.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, wisegeek.com

Things I Saw On The Paris Metro

After a lovely summer abroad in Paris, France, I am back in my even lovelier home state, New Jersey. While I often frequent New York City, I definitely am much more accustomed to the suburban lifestyle (i.e. using cars as my main method of transportation). With that in mind, my six weeks of relying exclusively on the metro (and sometimes sketchy Ubers) brought about quite a few surprises. Here are the five weirdest things I saw on the Paris metro:

  1. I straight up witnessed a man ALMOST fall onto a baby stroller, which prompted the mother to burst into tears. In his defense, he was not close to touching the baby so the reaction was a bit unwarranted. That being said, the only thing I’m THAT protective over is my dog, and if someone almost stepped on him, I’d probably cry, too.
  2. I watched a man dig his finger in his ear for twenty minutes straight. Seriously. Twenty minutes. I hope he found what he was looking for.
  3. I watched everyone check themselves out in the metro doors. I can’t even make a joke about it though because I did the same thing each and every time. Those things seriously make great mirrors.
  4. I witnessed a man who was so drunk he was lying on the station floor and his friends quite literally had to drag him onto the metro. Don’t ride the metro alone at 2 a.m. kids, or this is what you’ll see:
  5. I saw a man wearing a shirt that said “Massive🐔”. Comment dit-on “overcompensation?”

And there ya have it folks. Stay safe using public transportation.

Photos/Gifs: residences-paris.com, giphy.com

99 Problems But Jesuit Values Ain’t One

My college career started off to a horrifically basic start. My roommate and I invited new friends to our room before heading over to the Natty-littered Village A rooftops. Word spread quickly of our plan to play pong and party, as thirty sweaty eighteen year-olds flooded my third floor, trash-hallway New South room.

Music was blasting, Burnett’s was flowing and introductions were a plenty; I was having a glorious time hosting new friends. However, in the middle of all-time anthemic banger “Closer,” there was a sudden knock on the door.

My roommate and I were written up for a noise complaint. We had no interest in writing a BS apologetic essay about “disturbing the peace of New South,” and instead wrote a rap about Georgetown’s Jesuit values. The piece, entitled “99 Problems but Jesuit Values Ain’t One,” was required to be spoken to our community director, peers and RAs. And we did it. And we went all in. Please enjoy, much to my humiliation.

99 Problems, but Jesuit Values Ain’t One

It was a Monday during NSO,
We didn’t know how to tell them to go.

Playing music and talking, way too loud,
til the RA on duty came around.

Disturbing the peace with all our brothers,
We were not being men and women for others.

And now we’re ready to apologize too,
By showing our knowledge of Jesuit values.

Cura personalis is what comes first,
Because care of the the person is not the worst.

Now that we’re Hoyas we need some balance,
By being kind neighbors we’ll show our prudence.

Through this rap we will make some penance,
Demonstrating the importance of academic excellence.

Academic excellence thats a must,
Because when you don’t it’s a sure bust.
We’ll have Jack DeGioa up in a fuss,
Going to Lau, getting those A’s, that’s prosperous.

Educating the whole person is essential,
It helps us reach our full potential.

Learning both in and out of classrooms,
Chilling in Lau or even at Tombs.

Here on the Hilltop we’re learning to be faithful,
Between justice and faith we are not hateful.

Rhymes smooth just like buttah,
Holla at St. Ignatius–that’s my brotha.
Came up with Men and Women for Othas,
Taught us values of character just like my motha.

Our bro Brahmanchari taught us inter-religious understanding,
All religions are welcome, each unique and expanding.

Expanded our horizons, went to Buddhist meditation,
Our years at Georgetown aid spiritual formation.

We love Georgetown because of its community in diversity,
It gives us a better world view within the University.

On the third floor we have peers from England, France and Spain,
Friends from far and wide make our lives less mundane.

Our thoughtful discussion after Pluralism in Action,
Brought us closer to diverse peers to our satisfaction.

Loving our neighbors before ourselves,
Helping the staff in Leo’s restock the shelves.

Doing what’s right, owning up to our mistakes,
Being faithful and just is all that is takes.

Teaching us lessons is what Georgetown does best,
Now we know better, we hashtag blessed.

Photos/gifs: som.georgetown.edu, giphy.com

What to Do After Getting Rejected from Piano Bar

After everyone’s favorite grimy bar got raided a few too many times and decided to be a whole lot pickier about who they let in, a lot of underage Georgetown students are left wondering – what next? Where else can I spend my Wednesday nights partying? Is there another spot I can flock to on a typical dead Georgetown Friday night? While no one has come up with a perfect solution yet, here are 4E’s 7 alternatives to Piano Bar.

  1. If you’re still looking to go out and have a good time, try Chi Di! What’s one rejection when you can have two in one night? Have you gotten a little too comfortable with your fake? Definitely give it a go despite multiple texts reporting cops surrounding the club.
  2. A rejection from Chi Di not enough to kill your party mood? The next move is a random club in downtown DC. You’re guaranteed to meet people almost twice your age, and if you wait in line long enough, you might even get to realize that Ultra is not nearly as large as they make it out to be. 
  3. However, if you’re a homebody and trying to stay near campus, why not try CVS on Wisconsin? I’m not kidding; this place is a goldmine. They have everything from snacks, to makeup, to Donald Trump shot glasses!
  4. Why not make it an early night at Epi? Sometimes Epi is more lit than the party (or in this case, Piano) itself. You’re guaranteed to see at least one person you know (and you know you wanted that quesadilla more than you wanted to be sweating it out on the dirty dance floor of Piano anyway).
  5. If you’re the typical Georgetown student who likes to talk about how much work they have, but never actually does it, why not spend the extra time studying? I hear (but don’t know from personal experience) Lau is open 24 hours a day. You can probably get some quality work done, considering your of age peers will be enjoying the bar you couldn’t get into. 
  6. Go to bed. Literally every single time I ask someone how they’re doing, they say tired. Instead of taking laps around Piano and waiting for the bartender to notice you until 2 AM, why not get some quality sleep in? Maybe the next day you won’t have to ban your roommate from drying her hair so that you can nap (sorry, Chiara!). 
  7. Stay in! Why risk it? It’s much safer to be caught partying by your RA than by the police. Grab some friends and have a good old sleepover filled with rounds of “Never Have I Ever” and “Truth or Dare.” I promise you’ll learn more about them that way than shouting over Piano’s sometimes cringey, sometimes decent music. These are just a few ideas for what you can do after being rejected from Piano, but feel free to explore other alternatives. Whatever you decide, 4E hopes you stay safe out there in this newly dangerous Georgetown bubble.

Gifs: giphy.com

The New Year’s Resolutions You Won’t Keep

It is that time of the year again. A time of new beginnings, new memories, new laughs, and, most importantly, new resolutions. With each new year comes a new set of promises we Hoyas make to ourselves to make this coming year even better than the last. The thing is, however, we know we probably will not keep them. Here are some New Year’s resolutions you probably made to yourself that you know won’t make it to 2018.

I am going to eat healthy and go to Yates every day.

You get home for Christmas break and weigh yourself for the first time since August. You subsequently endure the 5 Stages of Grief. You promise yourself to live a ~healthy lifestyle~ in the spring semester. Three weeks into January you find yourself sitting in front of a plate of chicken fingers on a Thursday with no recollection of the last time you made it to the gym but also with no ragrets.

“Ohana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind.”

I will not drink Natty Lite or Burnett’s. 

After spending some time at home and drinking some classy wine and craft beer with your family (if you are 21 of course) you decide you are just too good for Natty and Burnett’s. I mean, what are you, a peasant? But, when you return to the Hilltop and take a look at the balance in your bank account you remember that you are indeed a peasant and quickly return to everyone’s drink of choice–whatever is cheapest.

I will do the readings for all my classes.

You coasted through the fall semester without doing the majority of the readings for the majority of your classes convinced you were gonna ace the class only to find a not so pleasant surprise on your final grade report. You think, “I probably should have done all those readings,” and you promise yourself this semester will be different. That is until you have to read 300 pages for tomorrow and its 11 pm all you have accomplished is taking one buzzed quick to find out what character from The Office you are based on your zodiac sign.

I am going to spend less money. 

Last semester you spent a little more than you should have, but this semester that is going to change. Who needs to eat out when you have Leo’s? Who needs to Uber when you can walk? Who needs Corona when you can have Natty? Oh wait…you do.

In all honesty, 4E wishes you all the best with your New Year’s resolutions. Lord knows we all need it.

Photos/gifs: giphy.com

How to Throw the Perfect Inauguration Day Party

January 20th 2017 is an important date for two reasons. First, it marks the inauguration of our nation’s 45th President and ushers in a new and unprecedented era in American history. Secondly, and much more importantly, it’s an official Georgetown University holiday, which means that we all get to be MSB students for a day and share in the luxurious experience of having no Friday classes! So if you’re searching for a fun way to spend your day off, look no further: we here at 4E have got you covered with some tips and tricks for the perfect Inauguration Day party.

Find the perfect spot to host

When you’re searching for the right place to throw your Inauguration Day bash, we recommend you choose a different location from wherever you hosted your Election Night party a few months ago- after all, nothing ruins a good party faster than terrifying flashbacks! Your best bet in terms of location is definitely the Village A rooftop. While you can’t really see the Capitol building from the roof, you can see the Washington Monument, which we all know provides the perfect patriotic background for that inevitable Inauguration Day Instagram, which you’ll probably post with an original, hilarious caption like #MakeAmericaLITagain

Invite some VIPs

To quote our next President, your party can’t be full of “losers and haters,” so when it comes to making your guest list, be sure to go the extra mile. Actually, you don’t even have to go a whole mile- just walk the few blocks to John Kerry’s house and invite him to your awesome party. He obviously can’t RSVP to your Facebook event for security reasons, so your safest bet is definitely to just go knock on his door and ask him face to face. His secret service agents totally won’t mind as long as you remember to extend the invitation to them as well. In the meantime, wander around campus and you’ll probably run into frequent Dahlgren Chapel-attendee, Joe Biden, or Georgetown’s favorite son and America’s favorite almost-first-husband, Bill Clinton. And after this election cycle, these guys are definitely ready to kick back and party, so be sure to toss an invite their way.

Make a playlist

No Inauguration Day party would be complete without the musical stylings of Trump’s new best friend, Kanye West. After the craziness known as the 2016 election, I don’t think any of us would even be surprised at this point if Kanye somehow ended up with a Cabinet position. In fact, we’re calling it now: we think a Trump/West 2020 ticket is in our future (in four years, remember you heard it here at 4E first!). And if Kanye’s ascent into the political arena is imminent, we must enjoy his musical genius while we still can. So at your party, be sure to “Runaway” from your fears about the next four years, ignore all those fake news stories and focus on the “Facts (Charlie Heat Version)” and remember that we can still be “Stronger” together even though Donald Trump will soon have all that “POWER” to “Run This Town.”

Choose beverages wisely

If you’re still feeling patriotic and want to make a political statement at your party, follow President Obama’s lead by enacting your own symbolic sanctions against Russia in the most college-way possible: boycotting Russian-brand vodka. In terms of what you can realistically afford, this basically means no Russian Standard and no Stolichnaya. Don’t worry, Smirnoff doesn’t count. If you’re looking for an alternative, we here at 4E recommend everyone’s favorite delicious (and American-made!) vodka, Burnett’s. For more information on this flavored poison refreshing beverage, check out some of our diligent research here.

There you have it: a few simple tips and tricks to make your Inauguration Day one to remember. And finally before we go, if you’re reading this, Mr. Trump (and based on your bizarre social media habits, there’s sadly good chance that you actually are), we wish you luck. Despite our differences, we hope that you prove us wrong and use these next four years to help lead our country in the right direction. But in the meantime, we here at 4E will continue to contribute to the “crooked media” by low key roasting you on a regular basis. Here’s to the next four years, neighbor.

Gifs: giphy.com, teepublic.com

Holy Horses: A Guide to FoxField’s

Foxfields

While everyone is talking about the joy that is Georgetown Day (THIS FRIDAY), there is another critical event this weekend that we need to cover: FoxField’s! 4E has informed you how to look foxxy for this fabulous event, but this year we are going to provide you with the advice you never knew you needed. Here are some critical tips from a seasoned professional:

1. Pack snacks, water and all the alcohol you could ever want/need. FoxField’s is in the middle of nowhere, so make sure you have everything you could ever need to survive, or else you are going to be dying on the trip back.

2. Pick a meeting space for your group. If you have a plot, you are golden. If not, make sure to choose a place to meet so that you don’t get lost and miss your bus. The Uber from Virginia back to the Hilltop is not a pretty one.

3. Bring some cash money. There are a bunch of vendors and food options at the fields, so make sure to bring some dinero to help you out.

4. Be prepared for all weather. Last year’s rain was H O R R I B L E, especially if you aren’t prepared. Bring some extra clothes or an umbrella to make your experience more bearable.

5. Save your phone battery. There is no service at FoxField’s, which is not good for the type of event it is. Save your Instas and Snaps for later, and enjoy the alcohol horses. Which brings me to my next point…

6. Take a lot of photos. Cause you all dressed up nice & it deserves to be documented.

7. Start slow. This is the day after Georgetown Day, so take that into account. You don’t want to be that person.

8. Power through. You can sleep on the bus. See some horses and live the life of a prep. Sleep is for the weak.

9. Actually eat. A midday reminder to eat could just save your life, and your liver. Forgetting could be your downfall. And, finally and most importantly…

10. DON’T GET LOST, MISS YOUR BUS OR GET ARRESTED. None of those things are fun, and will certainly put a damper on the weekend.

See you, your hats and all the pastels at the races (yes there are actually races).

Photos/Gifs: http://gifrific.com/; squarespace.com; buzzfeed.com; chickensmoothie.com; theodysseyonline.com

Where Should You Spring Break?

Banner - Break QuizHave you ever wondered what exotic location is your spirit location. Well, look no further. In honor of Spring Break (and procrastinating midterms), 4E is asking you to ponder: Where should you ~actually~ go for your break?

Photos: letsgovr.com