4E’s Guide on How NOT to Repeat 2016

20162016 was one for the books…well a book we’d like to close, throw in the fire and watch burn. Yeah, 2016 may not have been the best but luckily, with the New Year, 4E is looking at the glass half full. We may have lost Harambe, our Democratic credibility as a nation and as of late, our beloved Princess Leia, but it’s time we put all of that in the past and concentrate on a better future. So, 4E has put together a quick guide on how to make 2017 a great year…and make sure 2016 will never be repeated.

Avoid anything having to do with the Kardashians.
Yes, I understand that the cover photo of this article stars Kim K, but can we just take a minute to discuss why the Kardashians should remain in 2016. Kim K was tied up by robbers in Paris, Kanye had a mental breakdown and then, met with President-elect Trump (I had so many questions but no answers) and Kylie’s lips only got bigger. Don’t even get me started on Blac Chyna and Rob. The Kardashian curse is a thing for a reason people!

The answer is no.
The answer is no.

Become more skeptical.
I am specifically addressing the recent hype and quick disappoint of the iPhone 7 release. I know Apple is always trying to be ahead of the curve, but Steve Jobs has to be rolling in his grave. Where did my headphone jack go and more importantly, where are these “AirPods” you have been promising? Apple, we were not and are still not ready for this, so with that, 4E advises you to become more skeptical when it comes to hype.

Spend less time on social media.
2016 seemed to be the biggest year for social media yet! While we may have stepped up our meme game, we also spent wayyyyy too much time scrolling through our Snapchats, Instas, Facebooks and Twitters. The whole thing can get quite exhausting. I also can’t handle one more Harambe post, it just hits too close to the heart.

Stop dabbing.
This 2016 ritual should stay in 2016. I’m not usually superstitious, but I believe that the whole dabbing thing brings some bad mojo. So, please…let’s just not.

While this past year has been getting many negative reviews, it is important that we remember all of the wonderful things 2016 has given us. 2016 gave us more Netflix hits (Stranger Things!), more memes and more Pokémon. But let’s be real, we are so happy it’s over!
Happy 2017 Hoyas!

Images: giphy.com, buzzfeed.com

2016 Presidential Nominees As GUSA Presidents

Banner - 2016 GUSABy this point, we are all well aware of who this year’s presidential nominees will be. Like ’em or not, barring some extreme circumstance or ~political revolution~, either Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton will be moving into prime D.C. real estate early next year.

The average Georgetown student is pretty politically savvy, but for those of us who aren’t, 4E has created a guide to the nominees by making them a little more relevant to Georgetown. Here are what the candidates’ platforms and personas would be if they were running for Georgetown University Student Association President instead:

hillaugh

The Likely Democratic Nominee, Hillary Clinton:

  • Creation of a new email system. Google Apps was glitchy, anyways.
  • Officially recognize H*yas for Choice.
  • Someone will tell her to lower tuition, and she will give in.
  • The number of Georgetown students getting Wall Street internships will increase tenfold.
  • Public Safety Alerts about attacks on students may disappear mysteriously.
  • Incentivize more speakers to come to campus by paying them hundreds of thousands of dollars.
  • Jack the Bulldog will wear a pantsuit.hillsuits
  • The front gates remain open.
  • If GUASFCU fails, it must be bailed out.
  • GUSA Vice President will get into battles on Facebook with opposing campaigns.
  • #1 Customer of The Corp, yet has a problem with the way it operates.
  • Already had a seat in her classes before the class primaries (i.e. pre-registration).

trumflag

The Presumptive Republican Nominee, Donald Trump:

  • Studying abroad in any country that participates in international trade deals is no longer allowed.
  • Build a giant wall around campus, and close the front gates.
  • Somehow gets all of his classes during preregistration, stunning even the registrar.
  • Will apply for financial aid, then default on his student loans.
  • New Corp storefronts: a casino, a vineyard and a steakhouse.
  • His possible Vice Presidential nominee may close the Key Bridge.
  • Model UN will receive no funding and be removed from CSE budgets.
  • The entire campus is a free speech zone.
  • Shut down the Qatar campus and relocate it to Tel Aviv.
  • Repeal and replace the student insurance waiver.
  • Will actually enforce the 100% ID check on GUTS buses.
  • Will cut tuition and funding for campus news outlets (Dishonest media!)
  • Attack Villanova hard and fast. They have been beating us badly, folks.trumpdunk

Perhaps this will help you make your decision, or it might have just frustrated/annoyed/perplexed/(insert your feeling here) you, but in any case, just remember to VOTE!

Note: Neither The Hoya nor The Fourth Edition officially endorses candidates for political office or otherwise.

Photos/Gifs: reddit.com, giphy.com

The Most Important Questions of the 2016 Election

Banner - Candidate QuizIt’s that time of year again! With all the primaries and campaigning going on around the country, election season is in full swing. For the political fanatics, it is indeed the most wonderful time of the year.

Many questions are asked about each candidate in order to see who is most fit for office. Topics ranging from foreign policy to health care come up in the famed debates that Georgetown students faithfully watch (and argue about) in the HFSC. While some students tear each other apart on subjects, the rest of us just sit here like:

Fortunately, we at 4E know what the people want. On that note, we are going to combine all those “important” questions by playing a simple game: WOULD YOU RATHER?. This will give you an idea of the candidates with whom you identify most closely, and thus can help you decide whom you should vote for in November. Note: this quiz does include candidates who have failed miserably dropped out of the race.

[playbuzz-game game=”https://www.playbuzz.com/charlie29/would-you-rather-presidential-candidate-edition”]

Photos/Gifs: images.google.com, giphy.com, wordpress.com

Top Blog Articles of 2015: Editors’ Picks

UntitledHere at The Fourth Edition, we’ve had a great year.  Before we start bloggin’ 2016 away, we’d like to take a little trip down memory lane with a list of our top posts of 2015.  We’ve covered everything from the Pope’s visit this past fall to helping freshmen find their way to Brown House, and everything in-between.  Thank you to everyone for a great year, and without further ado here are our editors’ top picks:

  1. “Secret Societies at Georgetown: An Expose”:  We brought this news to you first!  Secret societies are taking over Georgetown in the masses, and they’re doing everything from stealing staples to forming avocado cults.
  2. “A Freshman’s Guide to Getting in Parties”: Navigating parties as a freshman is a challenging task.  The upperclassmen are less than thrilled to host your entire New South floor in their tiny townhouse, and you’re more than excited to sip on jungle juice in their dingy basements.
  3. “If You Lead a Freshman to Brown House…”: To the current occupants of Brown House, we’re sorry.  While it was inevitable that the freshman class would their find their way to your humble abode, we apologize for the role we may have played in accelerating this process.
  4. “How 4E Lost it”: It seems like blogs across campus are writing about losing a lot of things this semester!  What exactly is “it?”  Well, you’ll just have to watch to find out.
  5. “Five Types of People Running for GUSA Senate”: Let’s be real, you know a person who fits each description exactly.  Note: You may want to re-read this article to prep for the upcoming GUSA presidential elections next semester!
  6. “Friday Fixat10s: The Soundtrack to Your First Freshman Crawl”: Whether you cried to this playlist or opted to take a cheerier trip down memory lane with a #tbt pre-game, these tracks definitely brought back a lot of memories.  Memories which were mostly filled with over-crowded Village B apartments and warm Natty…
  7. “It Happens Here”: Following the publications of the stories of Willa Murphy and Olivia Hinerfeld, 4E shared a photo series detailing experiences of several survivors of sexual assault at Georgetown.  This piece was a demonstration of solidarity with all victims of sexual assault across the Hilltop.

As you can tell, 2015 was an incredible year.  Thank you to all of our readers, and here’s to an even better year of blogging in 2016!

Photos/Gifs: capytech.com, buzzfeed.com, giphy.com

2016 Presidential Candidates as Told by 90s Songs

Banner - Presidents

As the 2016 Presidential race heats up, there is a lot of information to digest. The candidates’ platforms (or lack thereof) are constantly mutating and they are saying crazier things every day. If you’ve missed out on some of the news about the candidates, here is what you missed, as told through the greatest music hits of the greatest music decade: the 90s.

 

Ben Carson

Dr. Carson may have had a hot temper as a young child but one day he got The Sign (Ace of Base) from God and, ever since, has mellowed out. Syrian refugees, which he likened to rabid dogs, have him asking: “Who Let the Dogs Out (Baja Boys)“.

carson nod

Hillary Clinton

When Hillary asks herself “What a Girl Wants (Christina Aguilera),” her only answer is “…Baby One More Time (Britney Spears)” in the White House.

hillary music

Jeb Bush

As the son and brother of former Presidents, he has lived a Semi-Charmed Life (Third Eye Blind). But don’t let this “semi-charmed” life fool you: he also speaks enough Spanish to do the Macarena (Los Del Rio).

jeb nod

Donald Trump

He wants to build a Wonderwall (Oasis). He also wants to say Bye Bye Bye (*NSYNC) to anyone who doesn’t fit in his image of a “Great Again” America.

trump nod

Chris Christie

The only place to Drive (Incubus) in Christie’s home state was Under the Bridge (Red Hot Chili Peppers) because the traffic on the bridge was almost as gridlocked as Congress. He was cleared of the charges of closing the bridge but only after he said “It Wasn’t Me (Shaggy)”.

christie dance

Marco Rubio

This Florida senator, the son of Cuban immigrants, was born in the city of Miami (Will Smith). Ever since, he’s been Livin’ La Vida Loca (Ricky Martin) and wants to do that in the White House.

rubio drinking

Bernie Sanders

This senator from Vermont wants the top 1% of the income bracket to Give it Away (Red Hot Chili Peppers). He may or may not have threatened to Eat the Rich (Aerosmith).

sanders laughing

Now that you’re more informed, you can get out and vote!

 

Photos/Gifs: usatoday.com, giphy.com