That time of “day” has finally come: 2am. You’re tired, over-stimulated and probably dehydrated. There is literally only one thing on your mind: food. For those of us still mourning the death of Tuscany’s (R.I.P.) or looking to save (read as: redistribute) a few precious dollars, here are a few home remedies to cure the 2am itch.
‘Early’ breakfast One thing everyone should have in their fridge at all times is eggs. They’re versatile, easy and delicious. Take a bowl and crack one or two in there, scramble ’em up, and then put them in the microwave. Yes, you can make eggs in the microwave. After about a minute, sprinkle some cheese on top and put it back in for another 30 seconds or so to melt it down and finish cooking the egg. Eat with salsa.
SpongeBob Mac ‘N’ Cheese You know what I’m talking about. It’s like Spongebob, Patrick and Squidward are literally partying in my mouth. Obviously that’s not true because Squidward doesn’t party, but you get the idea. This may seem like the easiest choice on the list but don’t be fooled. Please, please, please pour the water in BEFORE putting Spongebob and friends in the microwave. For everyone’s sake. Unless you secretly want to see this in person.
Tortellini Belly-button shaped pasta. Perfect for belly dancers after work or you when you are contemplating what life would be like as a belly dancer. Water to pot, pasta to water. You can use the waiting time to compare belly buttons. Maybe practice storing quarters in there so one day you can beat this guy. But tone it down a touch when it’s time to eat.
Leftover Thai Food I’ve never had anything better than re-re-heated chicken pad thai. Yes, this is a multi-step process that requires a little forethought and the most complex creation on this list. But trust me, it’s worth it. Start by ordering chicken pad thai or an equally delicious Thai dish. Eat half. If you are super hungry, you may want to order two dishes and keep one for later. Put in microwave and heat. If you’re creative, pull out some Skippy and make it a peanut based dish. Scratch that. Always make it a peanut based dish.
The Desperado Finally, a unique dish I coined at an incredibly low point in my 2am culinary career. Necessary ingredients? Peanut Butter, Nutella, banana. Mush. Enjoy. It’s the kind of thing you won’t brag about to your friends. Maybe you’re too embarrassed to tell them at all. But you will be nothing but smiles the entire time. Just like this kid. Don’t even try to deny it.
Photo: Shades of Hope