We’re all busy here at the Hilltop. Sometimes, too busy to keep up with all the pop culture happenings. But we all still want to seem cool in front of that hottie in our Intermediate 1 Spanish class. Freshman boys, I‘m looking at you.
4E is here for you. We’ve listened to and analyzed the new Drake and Future mixtape, so you don’t have to.
Title: What a Time to be Alive
Release date: Sept. 20
When you should say you first heard about it: Literally forever ago
Social Media connection: All of Meek Mill’s Instagram photos have been getting spammed in the comments by diamond emoji, in reference to his feud with Drake.
WARNING: Don’t go too far into this if you don’t actually know about the Drake and Meek Mill feud.
How many times you should play it at your New South pregame this weekend: On a loop. There should be nothing on else on your Spotify playlist.
At some point someone might ask you, “Is this the new Drake mixtape?” Score, they took the bait! Now, when discussing the mix tape, make sure to describe it as “fire” at least six times. Anything else and they’ll know you’re faking it.
WARNING: Don’t mention the 6. We all know you don’t know what the 6 is.
Now if you want to really get into the album, but still don’t have time to listen to it, we’ve provided a track list with our insights into the meaning of the songs, to give you something to discuss.
- Digital Dash: This is a tricky one, but after exhaustive research, we at 4E have concluded that the title is in reference to the classic 2004 Sonic the Hedgehog video game.
- Big Rings: About Saturn. Trust us on this. Drake is really into astronomy.
- Live from the Gutter: In late 2006, Drake did a benefit concert for homelessness in Toronto, in preparation for which he spent 6 months living on the streets. This song is about that.
- Diamonds Dancing: About being an astronaut in space with stars. See above re: Drake and astronomy.
- Scholarships: Honestly, we’re kind of stumped by this one. When discussing this one, take a pause in the conversation to mention how either: a. You didn’t need a scholarship to come here, or b. How much money other schools offered you that you turned down because you couldn’t imagine going somewhere that didn’t have the ugliest library in the entire country.
- Plastic Bag: Remember Katy Perry’s Firework? Drake does. He feels like a plastic bag, and wants us to know it!
- I’m the Plug: Drake is a sensitive man, and he’s not afraid to show it. One time, Nicki mentioned that she could never find outlets in his apartment, but he couldn’t find the words to tell her that HE’S the plug, and he doesn’t feel like she’s accepting his emotional energy.
- Change Locations: Drake’s tour manager is very underqualified. Drake is not happy about this.
- Jumpman: Self-explanatory.
- Jersey: A tribute to Jackie Robinson, an inspiration to us all and true American hero.
- 30 for 30 Freestyle: There was a sale on mini hand sanitizers at the Bath and Body Works once. Drake bought 30 of them for $30, so, as we all know, he loves a good sale.
From all of us at 4E, you’re welcome.
Now go out and pull some betches with your newfound Drake knowledge.
And when pulling those betches, don’t forget to ask yourself, “WWDD” (what would Drake do?). Respect and treasure those betches.
Photos/Gifs: www.leakedearly.co, instagram.com, tumblr.com
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