PSA: No One Wants to Netflix & Chill

o-beyonce-funny-face-facebookIt’s 3 a.m. on a Saturday night, and you’re standing outside of your room trying to unlock your door while not dropping your keys, Epi Quesadilla or dignity. Just as you stumble through the door, your phone goes off. You look down and see you’ve just received a text from that ~special person~ who only seems to text you once all the bars are closed and SNAPS has shut down every Village A rooftop. Nevertheless, you’re still excited to see that name on your phone and drop everything, including the quesadilla, in your rush to see what they sent.  The message reads: “Netflix and chill?”

Your excitement quickly fades, surely there must have been a slightly more original way to ask for that late night hangout. You’re unimpressed, decide that text doesn’t even warrant a response and head to bed. In the end, no one wins when such an unoriginal pickup line is used. So, in an attempt to relieve Georgetown of the Netflix & Chill plague, 4E has compiled a list of the newest alternatives that are guaranteed to elicit positive responses.

  1. Amazon Prime & Fine Wine: Some people are about the finer things in life, so a simple Netflix & Chill text just won’t suffice. Hit up Wisey’s for a bottle of their finest Woodbridge and grab your nicest plastic wine glasses, because there’s no way you’ll be rejected when using this line.
  2. Hulu & HU: There’s no need to disguise your true intentions when asking to Netflix & Chill. You might as well be straightforward because honestly goes a long way, and nothing could be more direct than this text. It’s all on the table, so they can either take it or leave it. (Note: For you non-trendy Hoyas who aren’t up to date, “HU” is the new term for hook up)
  3. RedBox & Relationship: Maybe you’re ready to take your late night encounters to the next level. Using the old Netflix & Chill line won’t really get this point across, so sending this text is really your best alternative. Plus, you’ll get to avoid the general awkwardness of actually talking and defining your relationship.
  4. VHS & Viagra: Honestly, if you’re old enough to still own a VHS player you probably need the Viagra to go along with it. There’s really not much else to say about this line other than to use it sparingly.
  5. Put Locker & Procreate: Seriously, who doesn’t want to procreate to an illegal video streaming website?

So go forth and embrace your creativity. Putting in this extra effort really might help you seal the deal.

Photos/Gifs: tumblr.com, moejackson.com

Catherine McNally

Catherine McNally

Catherine is 4E's former Senior Editor and a senior in the NHS from the great city of Believeland. While some may affectionately refer to the aforementioned city as the “Mistake by the Lake”, she remains insistent that it’s a pretty cool place. Her hobbies include laughing at her own jokes, avoiding Lau at all costs and drinking from Epi’s unlimited supply of water.
Catherine McNally

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