St. Patrick’s Day is this weekend, which means it’s one of those rare times when Georgetown students finally have some fun. There’s nothing better than putting on that one green shirt you never wear and eating and drinking as much as you possibly can. But for those people who are tired of the traditional St. Paddy’s Day celebration, here are some ideas to spice up your party this weekend.
St. Natty’s Day
What combines St. Paddy’s Day and college more than having a party where you only drink Natty Lights? Who cares that it’s not an Irish beer? We’re in the United States anyway.
St. Fratty’s Day
Just pretend Georgetown has a large Greek life presence on campus and throw a frat party complete with beer pong, bros and backwards hats. So frat!
St. Daddy’s Day
This party can go two ways. You can throw down with everyone’s biological father or celebrate with your real ~daddy~ ;).
St. Caddy’s Day
Time to bring out the Vineyard Vines and polo shirts, and turn your Henle into Georgetown’s most lit and most exclusive country club.
St. Ratty’s Day
This one is for all the important rats in our lives. We can officially party in celebration of the Wisey’s Rat™. Chicken Madnesses for everyone!
It’s official: March Madness is upon us. I’m told by some alumni that there was once a time when the Georgetown basketball team was part of this tournament, but much like the stories of the days when students allegedly “went to games” and “could name a player on the team,” I’m pretty sure this is just a rumor. Regardless, we here at 4E (AKA the ~real~ sports section of The Hoya) have come up with some helpful advice for building that perfect bracket.
Consider Picking Schools That Have Jack-Like Mascots
The real tragedy of us missing the tournament is that the world will be deprived of seeing our beloved Jack the Bulldog ride his skateboard or drive his car around the court. But luckily, March Madness will still have some canine representation. Here are some possible picks you should consider based on their potential for adorableness:
Their “dog” is named Spike. It’s just a guy in a suit. No actual dog. Disappointing. 2/10.
Their dog is named Blue. He’s no Jack, but at least he’s an actual dog. Overall, pretty cute. Nice smile. Would definitely pet. 7/10.
UMBC (University of Maryland, Baltimore County) Retrievers:
The dog is named “True Grit”. Creative choice. Unclear if the mascot is “officially” just a guy in a suit, but according to Google Images, they seem to frequently have a plethora of live retrievers present at many events. I endorse this. Reminds me of Air Bud. 9/10.
Stay Away From the Big East
As many of you may know, many of the other teams in the Big East were very mean to the Hoyas this season. They often (very rudely) chose to score a lot of points and also frequently prevented us from scoring some points of our own. Very inconsiderate! Karma will not be kind to them in the tournament — stay away!
Also, Providence has this horrifying mascot. We can’t pick them knowing this thing will be there.
Remember Your Jesuit Values
The Arizona State Sun Devils? The Duke Blue Devils? Not today, Satan! These squads are clearly trying to tempt you into straying from your Jesuit values. March Madness is no time for such sinful endeavors, my fellow men and women for others. We suggest you play it safe and stick with the Penn Quakers — based on what little information I remember from my sixth-grade social studies class my extensive research, Quakers and Jesuits are essentially the same thing.
Also, remember that Penn once kindly took Ivanka off our hands, further proving their charitable nature (#NotMyFirstDaughter #WhyIsGeorgetownAssociatedWithSoManyTrumpChildren #TiffanyActuallySeemsOkThough). With all this in mind, Penn is pretty much a surefire pick for the Final Four.
Don’t Pick Michigan State.
This one may seem both arbitrary and contrary to popular opinion, but remember this: current star player and probable future lottery pick Jaren Jackson Jr. chose Michigan State over Georgetown. Yes, way back in 2016, the highly touted recruit included Georgetown among his final five school choices and then somehow didn’t pick us. Wyd Jaren?? Didn’t the tour guides tell you about new Leo’s? Were you not impressed by Lau? Did the rats scare you off??
Whatever the reason, to quote the internship rejection emails I keep getting, we’ve unfortunately “decided to go in a different direction” on this one and cannot recommend that our readers pick Michigan State. And if you’re reading this, Jaren Jackson Jr., please consider forgoing your lucrative NBA career in favor of transferring to the Hilltop next year. Patrick Ewing is really cool and some students will probably show up at a home game at some point. Also, we have a Chick-Fil-A now!
Do Not Pick Syracuse
We hope you have fun this month, and remember: next year will be better! We look forward to seeing you all at the Arena Formerly Known as the Verizon Center for the one game you’ll attend before leaving early to go to Rocket Bar.
Urban Dictionary defines a snake as: “someone who you think is sincere and really nice, but then turns out to be a backstabber.” To people of Georgetown who have slightly inconvenienced me: welcome to your tape.
Security Guards at Lau – They let in homeless people but make me get out my GoCard. I go to Lau 1 at least three times a day.
People that don’t hold the door for you at Leo’s – Do you know how hard it is to open those heavy doors? Help a weak girl out here.
Tired Corp employee on a Sunday – I know you’re hungover, but can you at least look up at me while taking my order?
Freshman RAs – My study abroad application still lists my first week of school write-up as a disciplinary sanction. Did my noise complaint really disturb the peace of New South?
Professors who take off points after the third absence – I know this is all of them, but three absences really aren’t too many.
People who wear glasses and don’t need them, but just want to look smart and trendy – I’m essentially blind, so please don’t appropriate my culture.
Whisk guy who takes food orders – Stop taking 10 orders at once, forgetting them all, and then asking everyone their order again! It’s not an efficient system!
THAT ONE LXR SECURITY GUARD – You all know the one. We all have beef with her. Avoid this one at all costs.
The Walsh Building – It’s always blasting heat, the elevator takes forever, and the bathrooms are gross and have graffiti all over them. Students of the humanities truly do suffer.
People who press “Door Close” in an elevator when they see someone coming – You’re petty.
Jack the Bulldog’s walkers – I swear these people think they run the school. Once I was denied petting Jack because it wasn’t his “petting time.” I’m still not over it.
Well Hoyas, it’s that time of year again: St. Patrick’s Day.
A day where we all come together to celebrate Irish culture, beer, the color green and, of course, the life of a great saint.
Prepare yourself using these steps and you too could have the best St. Paddy’s Day of your life.
Wear something green
Look through your closet. Look through your friends’ closets. Swing by TJ Maxx on your way home from yoga. Whatever you do, find something green to wear. Don’t be that one party-pooper who is not wearing green because he “doesn’t own anything green” or “couldn’t find anything.” You’ve had a whole year to prepare for this. When Saturday rolls around, those excuses just aren’t going to fly.
Brush up on your Saint Paddy’s Day history
Wait, who even is St. Patrick? Some random Irish dude? Something about snakes and four-leaf clovers? It’s probably been a while since you learned about St. Paddy in your second-grade CCD class. Take a few minutes to read St. Paddy’s wiki. Come Saturday, you’ll be able to bust out some knowledge that would impress even your 80-year-old Irish grandma.
Color your culinary palette
From green eggs and ham to green Jell-O shots, take this opportunity to add some festivity to your plate. With some green food dye and some Bailey’s, you can make anything magically delicious.
Work on some dance moves
You may not be able to win a World Irish Dance competition, but that shouldn’t stop you from busting some moves on the big day! Try looking up some tutorials on YouTube. You can even gather up some friends and choreograph a routine. Everybody loves a good Irish jig.
Practice your Irish accent
Watch a movie with Irish people in it (like the Disney Channel Original classic “The Luck of the Irish” for example). Practice your accent in front of the mirror, in front of your friends — even in front of your professors if you’re feeling bold. By the end of the week, no one will even be able to tell you’re not even a little bit Irish.
Set a leprechaun trap
Sort of like the mouse traps that are already under your bed, but this one might actually work! Take the necessary precautions and you too can sleep soundly knowing you won’t be the subject of any pranks, tom-foolery or practical jokes. All that s–t is for April, not March.
Take a chance on your luck
Go ahead! Shoot your shot! Send that risky text! St. Paddy’s day is the perfect time to see whether all that superstitious, four leaf clover, lucky charms stuff is true or not. If you’re lucky, you could end up with something way better than a pot of gold. If not, well…
Enjoy St. Paddy’s Day your way
As one of the greatest holidays, St. Paddy’s Day is all about having fun. On this day you can finally purge all those leftover emotions from Valentine’s Day, make the greatest spring break comeback of all time and really prep yourself for the last few weeks before summer. Whatever your plans, make sure you gather up all your friends and enjoy every second of your St. Paddy’s Day this year.
It’s time to ditch the Charles Shaw. Here’s a list of some potential new favorites (if you’re 21, of course)!
Blue Fin Chardonnay & Pinot Noir, $3.99
Chardonnay is a pale straw gold color with aromas of lime, melon and some faint oak. It tastes of pears, warm oak and a touch of cinnamon and is finished with a mellow oakey pear taste.
Secco Mango Mangocini, $4.99
It comes to us from Germany, where they begin with Trebbiano grapes. The supplier makes a slightly effervescent wine from those grapes and adds mango juice and mango flavor to create a fizzy, fruity beverage that’s ideal for the hot days and nights of August and early September.
Green Fin Grenache Rosé, $4.99
This selection has a Bright medium reddish amber color and features Lively, fruity, earthy aromas of cherry-berry, dried wild strawberries, dusty oak and lemon zest with a crisp, dry full body and a warming, complex, breezy finish with fruit tannins and no oak.
Rebuttel Chardonnay, $7
tastes like caramel apples and fresh air — basically an apple picking day trip in a bottle.
Albada Viñas Viejas Garnacha, $6.99
This choice features Raisiny, saucy aromas that are slightly volatile. A wide, saturated palate comes up short on focus and acidity, while a mix of raisin and green-herb flavors lands on a heavy finish.
Incanto Prosecco, $12
This Prosecco is the perfect choice for anyone who doesn’t want a sweet wine but likes bubbles.
19 Crimes Red Blend, $7
if sweeter red wines aren’t your thing, this one probably isn’t your wine. Still, it’s hard not to be impressed by the fantastic marketing, as each label harbors a photo of an actual convicted criminal and each cork is labeled with one of the 19 crimes that could get you sent to prison in Australia.
2010 Casone Toscana, $10.99 (13%alc)
This one begins with a pleasant aroma of black cherry, strawberry, spice, some balsamic notes and a little mint.
2014 Pine Ridge Chenin Blanc Viognier, $9.99 (12.5%)
This selection has pleasant aromas of grapefruit, melon, and pear, along with honeysuckle and other floral notes.
Okay, first of all, why are they called midterms when they start during the third week of a semester and last until finals? Honestly, it’s a living hell.
Now that our first week of bliss has ended, midterms have inevitably begun to plague our lives. Who knew that we could cram five books on the theories of Plato into our poor little heads during one night in Lau? We begin the long nights of studying, the copious amounts of caffeine and the stressful ordering of Dominos’ unhealthily-cheesy pizza.
And during this infamous #szn, there are a few types of ~special~ people who make midterms even better. And by better I mean worse:
1. The “I Have More Work Than You” Person
We all know this person. The moment we decide to tell the rest of the world that we have an Econ midterm and that we’re dying, this lovable individual decides to announce that they have a ten-page paper along with two midterms.
Um, did I ask? No. Let me wallow in my own misery and self-pity for my current state of being. Please. Don’t compare your overbearing workload to mine. Don’t turn this into a contest for who has more work. Trust me, you don’t get a prize.
2. The Wannabe Einstein
“Omg, I didn’t even study for the test, and I got an A.” Right. That’s believable. I’m sorry, are you a genius, or just incredibly lucky? You really mean to tell me that you didn’t pay attention to a single lecture and your eyes didn’t even unintentionally glance over a few sheets of paper to review for the test? Really? Call me a pessimist, but for some unfathomable reason, I find that hard to believe.
3. The Whiner
Maybe this is me just being really unsympathetic toward others or just being a terrible person in general, but I don’t want to listen to you complain about your workload. Then again, I’m guilty of this so I really have no valid reason to be upset. I guess the overall lesson is that college — as fun as it can be — really, likes to make our lives miserable at times. Who would’ve thought that staying up until 5:30 a.m. in Lau and writing a paper on British poetry was not an ~ideal~ way to spend the night?
4. The Mathematician
“If I get a 86 exactly on this midterm, I’ll for sure get an A for the semester.” Let me preface this by saying that I’m already stressed as is for tests and I don’t need a grade to quantify my own stupidity. That was a little bit harsh; I’ll rephrase. Please don’t tell me what you need to get an A for the WHOLE semester. I’m just trying to pass one little test over here. Baby steps.
5. The Plague-Bringer
To be fair, I was this person during my first semester, so I know how awful it is. It’s that one individual who decides to hack up a lung every five seconds or unapologetically sniffle continuously for an hour.
I know, I know- we really shouldn’t get mad. But just imagine being on Lau 4 – it’s dead silent, and you’ve finally gotten into the working mood (if that even exists). All of a sudden, this lovely person begins to cough so badly you don’t know whether to go over and ask if they need help or just slowly get very, very annoyed until you call it quits and leave Lau altogether.
Spoiler: it’s usually the latter.
So there you have it: all your favorite people during midterm szn. Good luck, Hoyas. You’re going to need it.
Readers, it’s that time of year when we’re all drowning in midterms yet procrastinating through various forms and getting takeout every day still surviving. Let’s just say that spring break cannot come soon enough.
Despite the Georgetown stress culture that surrounds us and forces us to buckle down in Lau cubicles, we still need to take study breaks — even if that entails a small nap in a cubicle (which I’ve done before and highly recommend). You could walk down to Midnight and get a Rainbow Fish, arguably the best beverage ever invented by The Corp. You could even just go to Booey’s — obviously only if you’re 21, though — and throw back a pitcher before heading back with a lovely buzz.
OR, you could also just sit there and mindlessly pass time on your phone and computer. If you do this, make sure it’s at least worth your while by playing a fantastic game or doing something very entertaining. To help you with that, let’s take a walk down memory lane as 4E explores the apps, long since dead, that used to dominate our time.
1. Angry Birds– One of the first and longest-lasting apps of the electronic world. Shooting birds from one end of the screen to the other sure was a riveting experience in 2015. Starting as a cellular app and then expanding to both tablets and computers, this app definitely could help you pass fifteen minutes.
2. Words with Friends– Maybe you still use this to play against your grandparents, but the craze over this game has long since fizzled out. Although it’ll keep you from doing schoolwork, you might consider this game to be productive since you’re using words and building vocabulary…?
3. PapiJump– This app gained popularity when Apple released iPhones with motion sensitivity features. In other words, playing a game in which tilting your phone helped change the direction of a ball — or, in this case, a “Papi” — struck the world as something revolutionary.
4. Tap Tap Revenge– I vividly remember people in my grammar school fighting to hold the iPod touch so they could play this incredibly overrated game. Basically, they took Guitar Hero and adapted it to a phone form. So many better games, and my classmates chose this lame app that requires the mental capacity of a dodo bird. SMH.
5. Candy Crush Saga– Personally I never played this game, but I remember all too well the craze over this seemingly-boring game. Similar to Tap Tap Revenge, this game required a player to tap the screen over and over again (or so I’ve heard). So original!
However, considering its popularity, I guess whatever floats your boat is fine.
6. Fruit Ninja– Now THIS was a fantastic game. I was one of those people who would spend five minutes just moving my finger in a rapid zig-zag across the screen. Let’s just say that wasn’t the best strategy but nonetheless worked. Now, the term “fruit ninja” has taken on a different meaning.
7. Yik Yak– Anonymous messaging.
Yik Yak provided a platform where people could either play pranks on others or just harass and bully them, thus offering a quite valid reason for its restriction on school campuses. But outside of the ugly effects, Yik Yak was very entertaining. One time when I was at a football game I saw someone’s post about how there was vomit all over the bathroom floor, which was quite useful to know at the time. On that note, we probably need something like that for Epi at 1 a.m. on a Friday night. Unfortunately, Yik Yak has been laid to rest.
8. Vine– Okay, I know some people still use Vine, but does it really have the same fervor it had a few years ago? Despite the decline of this beloved app, it still exists and can be used to procrastinate. You might even find some gems that will make you laugh quite loudly in your cubicle (do yourself a favor and skip to 1:14).
9. Trivia Crack– Again, this app still exists but the craze associated with it has disappeared. I, for one, was obsessed with this game. I remember I was called out in high school for challenging people on Christmas Eve. Let’s just say I didn’t get out much in those years.
10. QuizUp– Yet another app that still exists but in some faded form to which no one pays attention. The only reason I downloaded this was that one of my teachers in high school offered us extra credit if we could beat him. I, as you could guess, was victorious. Many others, unfortunately, were not.
11. FatBooth– One of the most entertaining apps of all time. The best part is that you can upload older photos to the app instead of just using your phone’s camera. This app is also available on the Mac App Store and my computer.
12. Flappy Bird– As usual, we save the best for last. The app that defined a generation and gripped the nation my senior year of high school stands as the best on this list. Back when I was young, dumb and used Twitter, people would tweet their high scores and go back-and-forth in arguments over who was better. Friendships were broken and homework assignments went uncompleted, but a few people became famous–at least in my small northern New Jersey high school community. Sadly, Flappy Bird has been taken off the App Store.
Happy exam season, Hoyas! Use this list to procrastinate this week. If not, use it for spring break if you’re bored or just don’t feel like participating in a conversation.
Although midterms are starting to pick up steam, it seems like “Flu Szn” is at its peak since almost everyone you know is suffering from a terrible strain. The flu is awful, but looking past those sleepless nights where you lay in bed, shivering and coughing your lungs out,…
…having the flu is not so bad. In fact, here are the best things about getting the flu.
It’s every kid’s dream to skip school, and now your dream has come true. You don’t have to listen to annoying professors promote their own book that they made you buy for class. Finally, for one day, you don’t have to go to your Econ lecture and sit there confused, wondering what one could possibly do with an English major.
Having the flu means bed rest, and bed rest means binge-watching every TV show possible. Who knew it only takes 2 days, 14 hours and 24 minutes to watch all of Game of Thrones?
Want to lose weight? Don’t want to embarrass yourself at Yates? Well no need to fear, the newest diet trend of 2018 is here! With one dose of the influenza virus, you can get rid of the “freshman 15” in only three days!
Bonus: Downstairs Leo’s will taste as good as…upstairs Leo’s when you finally start eating again!
The flu will make you experience your first weekend in college completely sober! What a strange feeling it is to not shove disgustingly flavored Burnett’s down your throat as you walk through a sweaty, fire-hazardous Henle while trying to breathe through all that mango-scented Juul smoke that may (or may not, who knows) give you cancer.
Despite all these benefits, the flu still sucks, and you can’t wait to start partying “studying” again with your friends. Just make sure to wash your hands and don’t share drinks!