Laungevity: Signs You’ve Been in Lau for Too Long

Lau StrugglesReaders, let me give it to you straight: I am writing this article to you from Lau 2 at 5:30 a.m., ending an all-nighter preparing for my looming finals that started at 7 p.m. yesterday. I don’t know where the time went. I don’t know how I managed to survive on only vending machine Fritos and hours-old coffee. I’ve been in Lau for so long that I don’t even know if the sun set last night. All I know is that I’ve been in Lau for too long.

So now, I am sharing with you the telltale signs of Laungevitythe long duration of time spent in Lau, so you can avoid it for your sake. Here’s how you’ll know:

Every. Single. Person. Is. Gone.

Lau 3 is completely empty. Literal ghost town.
Lau 3 is completely empty. Literal ghost town.

Yet someone is vacuuming (and it makes your head feel like it’s exploding).

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But eventually, even the workers go home. Then, all you see is cubicle after ominous cubicle.

Nobody on Lau 1, just Post-It Notes of a lost student. Probably a ghost at this point.
Nothing but cubicles and the Post-It notes of a lost student. Probably a ghost at this point.

Then, Lau stops being a library.

Wow it's so late even the BOOKS are gone on Lau 5!
Wow! It’s so late even the BOOKS are gone on Lau 5!

You start feeling all sorts of weird emotions.

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Finally, common sense (and the clock) tell you that you have to leave.

For the love of God, PLEASE GO HOME! DO NOT BE HERE AT THIS HOUR!
PLEASE GO HOME! DO NOT BE HERE AT THIS HOUR!

Then you step outside … and even though you’re cold, exhausted, miserable and borderline delusional, you feel like this:

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Good luck on your finals, Hoyas, but please be wary. Avoid Laungevity at all costs!

Photos/Gifs: Matt Sullivan for The Hoya, Tumblr, Blog.Visual.ly, Wikipedia

 

Matt Sullivan

Matt Sullivan

Matt was and still is an aggressive investigative blogger at 4E. When he is not exposing the Waterjack incident through gifs and leaking millions of classified documents via Hoyaleaks, Matt continues to be a man of mystery and power, whose power is exceeded only by his mystery.
Matt Sullivan

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