Hoya Horrors on the Hilltop

Things That Terrify HoyasHalloween is upon us! From horror movies to scary costumes, we all seek the thrills and chills that come with the season. Nonetheless, there are a few terrors better left untouched, as these sorts of horrors are, without a doubt, found in every Hoya’s worst nightmares. These nightmares start as early as the moment you receive your dorm assignment, and permeate the lives of Hoyas throughout their time on campus. In honor of Halloween, here’s a list of the most horrible Hoya Horrors:

“It’s like an island out here!”

You’ve gotten through the dreaded CHARMS process and picked your roommate who will obvi be your BFF for the next four years. You choose who’s bringing the decorative posters, who’s got the fridge and whether you’re going to coordinate bedspreads or let each of your creative minds run wild with that decision. Now the only thing left is your dorm assignment. You tear open the dorm assignment letter with only one repeating thought in mind, “Not Darnall, not Darnall, not Darnall.” But it is. You force yourself to look at the words on the page. You see that dreaded dorm printed on the paper and you know this must either be a sick joke or an awful omen.

“But it’s Thursday!”

Thursday and chicken fingers have become as linked on this campus as peanut butter and jelly, Jesuits and cura personalis, 4E and happiness. By now, you’ve gotten established enough in the college life to know that this is the light at the end of the sometimes abysmal Leo’s tunnel. So imagine the panic if Leo’s didn’t serve chicken fingers on Thursday. And let’s not even mention the time when they actually switched the chicken finger brand!

“I got what grade on my test?”

We here at Georgetown tend to live up to our “work hard, play hard” reputation, and if you haven’t noticed, it’s quite heavy on the “work hard” aspect this time of year. Hoya horror number 3? That the all-nighter on Lau 5 with 6 empty cups of espresso and your 11-inch stack of note cards actually didn’t pay off. Don’t worry, Lau goblins, there’s no way this nightmare will come true and a B isn’t the end of the world, as some might think.

“Who even took that picture?!”

Finally! A chance to let loose and escape the throes of midterm season: you head out with your friends on a Saturday night. The next morning, you log onto Facebook to see a picture of you and your DFMO partner up close and personal broadcasted on your newsfeed for the world to see. Untag! Untag! Untag!

“What is this world coming to?”

The customs and traditions infused in the daily life of a Hoya are the aspects of Georgetown life that make it so meaningful and special for its students. Could you imagine if these traditions were disposed of or violated? What if we lost our late-night eatery or could no longer hang out with our mascot whom we watched grow as a puppy? Oh wait … R.I.P. Tuscany. I miss you J.J.

With all of these frightening possibilities creeping into our lives on the Hilltop, I see why we instead turn our attention to horror movies and haunted houses as distractions. Happy Halloween, Hoyas! And remember, the Exorcist steps aren’t the only place you might run into a nightmare around here.

Photo: Panoptikal, UMN.edu

Marnie Wallach

Marnie Wallach

Marnie is a recent graduate of Georgetown from that one part of Wisconsin that isn't a farm. She enjoys hunting with a bow and arrow and running around the woods of District 12 with her best friend, Gale. Marnie aspires to be some combination of her three heroes: Beyoncé, Steve Jobs and the Tooth Fairy.
Marnie Wallach

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