Front Page Fakeout: Corp begins taking orders at new tattoo parlor service, CORP INK

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The Corp has recently announced that it is merging its existing printing service to include a new service, Corp Ink. This new storefront will offer Georgetown students a convenient on-campus location to get tattoos in lieu of getting them out in the greater Washington, D.C. area. The Corp, while best known for its coffee and bagels, has been making strides to diversify the types of services that it offers. Corp Ink has already begun taking orders and has offered its first 20 customers a 50% discount off their tattoos for serving as training subjects for the new fully student-run staff.

When interviewed, an anonymous new staff member at Corp Ink stated, “I don’t really know anything about tattoos or design, but I got rejected from UG and Vittles so I figured this was my next best alternative. I’m just here to learn!”

Corp Ink will be open Sunday-Wednesday in the afternoons and will be open with extended hours until 4 a.m. on Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights. A representative from Corp Marketing stated:  “After doing the research, we learned that 68 percent of the tattoos administered in the United States were done so between the hours of 1 a.m. and 4 a.m. Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights. We are still stumped as to why this is, but we are conducting more research to look into this inexplicable trend.”

Some of the most popular orders Corp Ink has already received are the famous Georgetown “G”, J.J eating a balloon, the classic lower back butterfly and a variety of Chinese characters that reportedly translate to “kumquat”, “chapstick”, and “otter.” (We at The Fourth Edition believe that these meanings were not the intention of the customer but will be permanently etched onto their skin anyway)

 

Notice: Front Page Fakeout is a parody post in which a 4E writer takes a story from the front page of The Hoya and puts an exaggerated and false spin on it. The Front Page Fakeout uses invented names in all its stories, except in cases where public figures are being satirized. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental.

Lindsay Lee

Lindsay Lee

Lindsay Lee (COL '16) was an economics major with a Spanish minor. She served as the senior editor of 4E for Spring 2013 and Fall 2014 and was also the online editor for The Hoya.
Lindsay Lee

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