Peek at Peak Blossoms

It is that time of the year again; the time where Hoyas can shed off their twenty pound Canada Goose parkas; the time where every weekend, students are double fisting at darties not in Village A but on Village A.

It is finally spring.

Yet, as any D.C. resident knows, it is not truly spring until the cherry blossoms actually, well, blossom. Unfortunately, if you are like the rest of us internet folk/Georgetown students, you will be missing the 5 minutes of beauty for midterms, essays, and HRC’s visit (nbd).

So us, lovely folks, have decided to bring the beauty to you, through the internet, because we are internet folks.

You’re welcome!

And if you feel slightly bitter that you are at Lau and not there, just remember that you live in the greatest city in the world, and near three cupcake stores.

Gifs/Photos: giphy.com, instagram.com (duh)

Lautiquette

As midterm season wears on and Lau becomes our home-away-from-dorm once more,  we here at 4E have noticed that some of us are in desperate need of a quick refresher on proper “Lautiquette” (that’s Lau- etiquette, for all you #normies out there).

Before you head on back to your cubicle, take a minute to check out 4E’s Official Guide to Proper Lautiquette:

1. Have your GoCard ready when you walk in. It is not that hard. You know you’re supposed to have it ready. I know you’re supposed to have it ready. That line of sleep-deprived people waiting behind you at 1:58 a.m. during finals week know you’re supposed to have it ready. So don’t be that person. Instead, be the considerate student who awkwardly stands outside near the smokers by the steps while frantically emptying out their entire backpack in search of the card before they attempt to enter the building.

2. Do not take up an entire Lau 2 table by yourself during peak hours. Peak hours are officially designated (by the staff here at 4E) as anytime between 2:00 PM and 1:00 AM on Sundays, and 7:00 PM to 12:00 AM on Mondays through Wednesdays. I don’t care how hard that bio midterm is going to be- there is absolutely no need for you to take up an entire  table with your flashcards and highlighters.

Full Disclosure: I am sitting at a cramped table far from an outlet and glaring at a well-documented serial Lau 2 tabler-taker-upper as I write this. You know who you are. Please move.

3. Do not eat anything that smells weird. The litmus test for this one is extremely straight forward: if you have to ask if your food smells weird, your food smells weird.  Do not consume this food within the confines of Joseph Mark Lauinger Library. None of the windows open and we will all be forced to endure the stench of your microwaveable Four Cheese and Four Meat Hot Pocket (TM) for the duration of our study session.

4. Do not talk on Lau 5.

5. Do not take the elevator down one floor. Look, we’re all tired after a long night or an early morning, but the elevators are slow enough already without your shenanigans. Get it together.*

*However, it is nevertheless completely acceptable to take the elevator up one floor. The difference between walking up a single flight of stairs and walking down a single flight of stairs cannot be overstated. Much like a certain father-son Georgetown basketball coaching duo, one is undoubtedly much worse than the other (#tbt).

So there you have it- a few friendly reminders to make sure your time here in Lau is as Lauwesome (that’s Lau-awesome, #normies) as it can possibly be! Now please go passive-aggressively share this with your friends and/or the stranger who is currently taking too long to decide what they want to order at Midnight.

Photos/gifs: giphy.com, flickr.com

YouTube Hits of the 2000s

Feeling nostalgic on this snowy D.C. day? If you’re curled up on your couch with a steaming cup of cocoa like me, I suggest you revisit remnants of warmer, happier days. These YouTube videos were all the rage back in the 2000s, and I’m sure they’ll bring out your best middle school self in no time.

Potter Puppet Pals: The Mysterious Ticking Noise

“DUMBLEDORE!”

Charlie the Unicorn

Candy Mountain. ‘Nuff said.

Muffins

This dude is super creepy, am I right? “Blood muffins.” Ok. I wonder what he’s up to now.

How to trick people into thinking you’re good looking

This is Jenna Marbles at her absolute prime. I revisit this video every few months just for a giggle.

The Gummy Bear Song – Long English Version

As of March 14, 2017, this video has 931,812,066 views on YouTube.

The Duck Song

“Hey. Got any grapes?”

David After Dentist

“Is this real life?” Yes, David, it is. And you’re a star!

Zombie Kid Likes Turtles

Personal hero.

Videos: YouTube.com

Breaking Down Georgetown’s Geotags

It’s time to embrace the sad truth: GW’s geotag game is stronger than ours. Let’s explore Georgetown’s finest options in the ever-present Snapchat game.

Grey outline of Healy Hall with Hoya Saxa in a circle in the corner – Always the first one to appear when swiping right on Snapchat. Really boring tbh. Not ideal for the classic freshman Healy snap story.

‘I Believe’ – Don’t get me started. Wrong color scheme, takes up the entire picture, no one knows what ‘I Believe’ stands for. 0/10. Apparently used for a GUSA Presidential campaign two years ago, and we’ve never stopped having it. Somehow that makes it more annoying.

Southwest Quad – As if living in McCarthy wasn’t bad enough, their Snapchat filter is probably the weakest on campus. Worth a venture to Snaxa for late night slushies and to check out this monstrosity.

Leo’s salad bar – It’s just tomatoes and lettuce. 2/10 for unbalanced dieting.

Leo’s upstairs – Very representative of the lighting. Could go well with a food snap of vegan brownies. I never get this one actually in Leo’s; only in my New South dorm room.

MSB – The bros use it after nailing their Goldman Sachs interviews and OPIM exams. Goes well with Vineyard Vines and/or a suit and tie combo. Points for having the prettiest building. I appreciate.

 

Dahlgren Chapel – So cute, so chic, so simple. My parents were married here so I’m a bit biased. 10/10 for love.

Outline of Healy with Georgetown University in middle – It would require effort to make this uglier.

Lau – Harsh. Boring. But is that not representative of Lau vibes?

Lord of the Rings Lau – Don’t get me wrong: this filter is weird, but points for creativity and nerdiness. I see you. Gets a laugh at 3 AM when cramming for a History midterm.

McCourt School Georgetown – Old time-y font and DC imagery. I like. Solid 8/10.

Georgetown University with Hoya Saxa in cursive: perfect for freshman bragging to their high school friends about attending a top 20 institution. The only filter that blatantly says, “Hoya Saxa,” so that’s pretty concerning. Basic but very nice.

Future Recommendations:

  1. Why is there no ICC geotag? Bill Clinton would not approve.
  2. No acknowledgment of Jesuits I see. Does Cura Personals even mean anything to Georgetown if we cannot fully represent this on our social media?
  3. Genuine question: Does Darnall have one? I’ve never been there.
  4. Why doesn’t Jack the Bulldog get any love?
  5. Let’s have a New South geotag reading “Zoo South” that shows broken Pineapple Burnetts and dip in the stairwell.
  6. @Corp Marketing I know a geotag at each location would be hard but it would be dope.Photos: me, duh.

Guide to Laufits

It’s officially midterm season, which means that there’s a good chance you’re procrastinating by reading this article somewhere in Lau. And if you’re searching for some more ways to avoid doing work, look no further: here’s a refresher on the five types of “Laufits” most frequently seen in everyone’s favorite architectural monstrosity.

1. The “Kendall Jenner”

The basic look: Heels. A “going out” top. Jeans that cost more than your meal plan. Something cool like a hat or red lipstick that you definitely couldn’t pull off if you tried.

When they’re not busy making you feel bad about the fact that you noticeably haven’t washed your hair in several days, the owner of this outfit can usually be found making the awkward walk from the elevators to Midnight look like a graceful strut down a fashion week runway. There’s a good chance that you follow them on Instagram. There’s a better chance that they do not follow you back.

2. The “Intern”

The basic look: J. Crew. Ann Taylor. Brooks Brothers. A Capitol Hill ID badge that they are inexplicably still wearing at 11 p.m. on a Wednesday in the middle of a college library.

You can usually find the wearer of this outfit carefully crafting their next insightful and completely necessary political post on Facebook or mapping out the logistics of their future GUSA presidential campaign two years ahead of time. There’s a good chance you follow them on LinkedIn. There’s a better chance that they were the ones who requested to follow you.

3. The “Self-Proclaimed Gym Rat”

The basic look: Neon running shoes. A headband. A Fitbit. Something from Lululemon. A yoga mat casually tucked under their arm. A conspicuous lack of actual sweat on any of these items.

Those who rock the standard “SPGR” attire are usually found loitering in Midnight. They may be found loudly commenting on how their favorite flavor of Vitamin Water Zero and/or Cliff Bar is out of stock while openly inquiring as to why they aren’t allowed to use the Thompson Center, or insisting that they could have been a varsity walk-on “if they tried.” There’s a good chance that you also just saw them take the elevator instead of the stairs to get to Lau 2 in the first place.

4. The “Guy Who Was at Jersey Night Until He Remembered He Had a Paper Due at 9 A.M.”

The Basic Look: Hair Gel. Pit Stains. An Allen Iverson/Alonzo Mourning/Patrick Ewing jersey. A New Jersey accent. An ID from a state that is not New Jersey.

Unlike the “Self-Proclaimed Gym Rat,” the person wearing this outfit is definitely actually sweating. And yelling. And attempting to simultaneously type and sober up, but not doing a very good job at either. This stylish individual is likely to be found taking way too long to figure out what they want from the vending machine and saying some variation of “Dude, seriously it was so lit, you gotta go next week” to every other person who walks by.

5. The “Lau 5”

The basic look: A sweatshirt. A pair of sweatpants, but not the “cute and cozy” kind that are moderately acceptable to wear in public. A baseball cap. Uggs, Crocs, or some combination of the two.

(Disclaimer: this is not an exaggeration. I once saw an actual human being wearing an Ugg on one foot and a Croc on the other on Lau 5 at 2 a.m. during finals week and it was one of the scariest things I have ever seen in my entire life. Please let me know if you have any potential information regarding this individual’s whereabouts because I want to make sure they’re alright.)

The true devotees of the classic “Lau 5” aesthetic are, of course, most frequently found in their natural habitat on the top floor. But rumor has it that if you wait patiently until the early hours of the morning, you can see them briefly emerge near that weird coffee vending machine on Lau 2. Should you be so lucky as to witness this rare occurrence, be sure to remember the most basic rule of Lau-etiquette: never ask someone wearing the full-blown “Lau 5” Laufit “How’s it going?” You will only be met with a long, sad answer involving an unreliable TA, a “quizlet” mishap, and a copious amount of tears.

So there you have it: five of the most popular Laufits. Consider what your Laufit says about you the next time you head on over to see if there are any more lemon poppy seed muffins left at Midnight write that big paper well ahead of the deadline! 

Gif source: giphy.com, library.georgetown.edu

15 Extreme Things to Give Up This Lent

Lent is here and you know what that means: the classic forfeit of chocolate, the avoidance of french fries and the (unpromising) theory of exercising more often.

Chalk it up to one word? Boring!

Instead of the old, dull suggestions of the past, why not try some innovative ideas that call for real sacrifice? Here are some of our proposals:

1. Give up peeling bananas.

Sound hard to you? Exactly. How are you going to open it? A friend? A knife? Are you going to avoid bananas the entire Lenten season? Let us know.

2. Give up smiling awkwardly at people you sort-of know when you walk past them.

I know it’s hard, but that’s the point of Lent. Keep a straight face, avoid eye contact or run away! Whatever is easiest, really.

3. Give up opening your mouth when you laugh.

      Chuckle softly, or not at all!

4. Give up wearing socks.

Whether you opt for sandals or challenge yourself with sneakers, this will definitely keep you on your toes. (Get it?!)

5. Give up eye contact altogether. 

      Shyly bat your lashes toward the ground to let people know you’re avoiding eye contact. They should catch on pretty quickly!

6. Give up all candy flavors except for grape. 

    Relish in the incredibly medicine-like taste of grape, a feeling you won’t know you can stand until you are forced to.

7. Give up sleep between the hours of 3:15a.m. and 4:45a.m.

    Set an alarm and keep your body constantly alert to change!

8. Give up contacts, glasses or any other aids to your vision. 

    Whether you’re mildly impaired or actually blind, this is a challenge to not only you but the people around you!

9. Give up the use of your hands. 

      Pick up items with the strength of your toes if you have dropped something. Otherwise, kindly ask an acquaintance to do literally everything for you!

10. Give up Piano Bar. 

      Hmm…too soon?

11. Give up stopping for pedestrians.

      Got a car? Make a point! Though dangerous, this Lenten promise will really challenge you!

12. Give up the letter “E.”

    Paprs, -mails, and prtty much any tchnological communication may b slightly mor difficult, but if you put your mind to it, you can do anything!

13. Give up the temperatures between 70 and 78 degrees. 

    Often the comfortable temperatures for a generally cold person, give up familiarity and either shiver or sweat yourself to sleep!

14. Give up opening doors.

    Trying to get out of your classroom? Let someone else help you out. Trying to get into a car? Just let that Uber driver know you need his assistance. How about a way out of your dorm room? Kick it down like Jack Bauer or loudly cry until a concerned neighbor comes to your aid.

15. Give up turning left. 

Live on the wild side and avoiding turning left at all costs. It’ll hurt your brain and annoy your friends, but it’s sure to keep you occupied during Lent!

Gifs: giphy.com

How to Prepare for Spring Break

Spring! Break! Spring! Break!

Maybe you love Georgetown more than life itself. Is your phone background a super original picture of Healy Hall? Did you finally learn the words to the fight song and now find too many opportunities to ask your friends what time it is? Has a majority of your wardrobe been purchased at the bookstore? Have you Instagram-ed a pic with the caption “37th and hOme”? Regardless of how much you bleed blue and gray, 4E bets you’re feeling a bit overdue for a break from the Hilltop.

Whether your plans for break include getting as burnt tan as possible, exercising those #JesuitValues and going on a service trip, or spending seven days straight in a bed that isn’t lofted and approximately three feet wide, here are some tips for how to prepare for the (hopefully not too wild) week ahead:

1. Email the professors who seem to have forgotten that Georgetown gives its students a spring break.

Pull up that angry email draft that you (hopefully don’t) have lying around waiting for your professor who plans on giving a midterm the Tuesday after spring break. While writing haikus about photosynthesis is DEFINITELY more important than providing medical services in Honduras, hopefully your professor will make an exception to extent the deadline just this once.

2. Make that last pilgrimage to Leo’s.

Realizing that you will be away from your beloved Leo O’Donovan’s for an entire week is almost making you have second thoughts about heading to Cancun with your girlfriends. Use all of your meal swipes this week to mitigate the understandable Leo’s separation anxiety that you’re having. Money not spent at Tombs this week is money spent on refreshing beverages (read: lemonade) next week.

3. Power Pose to bring your confidence to full beam!

Gwen Stefani GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

You haven’t been following a “nothing but cucumbers” diet? Leo’s vegan brownies are too good to pass up? You live in close proximity to ~8,000 other people and want to spare the Georgetown community from your hangry wrath? Spring break dieting (and dieting in general) is dumb? 4E is in FULL support of this line of thought. Some reminders: bikini + body = bikini body, beauty is within and your worth is wholly dependent on whether or not you have been featured on @hoyas_eatin_naners.

4. Wrangle all of your favorite, polyester triangles (triangls?)!

Will you actually be swimming? Are your spring break outfits Mom ApprovedTM? Maybe … not. Regardless, be sure to throw more sunscreen than you think you need into your suitcase along with that tangle of swimwear.

5. Packing is a skill that, as a college student, you must master.

If your travels are taking you to that underrated place called home, don’t forget to stuff your winter coat, sweaters and Bean Boots into that suitcase. With this incredible 75 degree weather that we’re having (in February), you shouldn’t be needing them anytime soon. Also, you do not want to have to navigate through the Reagan security line in May wearing the five layers of clothing that wouldn’t fit into your suitcases.

Enjoy your well-deserved break! Have fun, make good decisions, and don’t make those Instagram captions too cheesy.

We’ll see ya in a week, John Carroll!

Images: giphy.com

The Seven Stages of Weekend Drinking Regret

We all at some point in our college careers, whether once or twice, or every week, experience the Seven Stages of Weekend Drinking Regret. Here at 4E, we put together a step by step guide, complete with informational gifs, to help you better understand your fluctuating feelings of  weekend regret.

1. Sunday: Self-disgust

You wake up Sunday morning feeling crusty and like absolute trash. Your brain is in a haze and you enter a period of self-loathing and overall unproductivity. The two reliable constants of the day are the constant pounding in your head and your repeated mutterings of “Why did I take that last tequila shot?”

2. Monday: Mild Productivity

You may feel some twangs of post-hangover and regret, but you can get some work done. You attend classes and begin to look at assignments but you’re not 100 percent yourself yet.

3. Tuesday: Totally You

You’re feeling yourself. You’re getting work done, feeling on top of your game. This is the upward swing, the peak of the week. You might even be contemplating going to yoga and starting a juice cleanse.

4. Wednesday: Willpower Waning

It’s Hump Day! The week seems to stretch on forever. A couple of your girlfriends are having a wine night. One glass won’t hurt, right? You only have a 9 a.m. But no, you hold out until at least Thursday.

5. Thursday: Thirsty Thoughts

The week sucked. You got a C on that paper you thought you killed. Your roommate broke your blender and now all you want to do is cool off and have a beer. You casually sip on one brewsky because you’re not in the MSB and you have class on Friday.

6. Friday: Freedom

The week is over! You can’t wait to get drinks with friends before heading out for a night of dancing. You can’t even remember your regrets from last Sunday. Who was that loser? Let’s take a shot!

7. Saturday: Sipping Something

This morning you woke up with a hangover, but it’s okay. You’re sleeping until noon, going to brunch, then planning on going out to that new bar anyways. You’ll just sip the hangover away. This is when you enter peak denial phase, as you try to reason away that 10-page paper you have to wake up tomorrow and write!


Sunday: and repeat.


Disclaimer: The seven stages were created based on expert advice from 21-year-old, very legal friends.

Images/gifs: giphy.com, greatist.com

Dating App Profile Picture Guide

Did Valentine’s Day remind you of your single status? Did it spur you to re-download Tinder? Or prompt you to give Bumble a try? If so, then the members of 4E feel your heart-throbbing pain and we’ve created a Dating App Profile Picture Guide that will have all the cuties swiping right into your heart.

1. No mirror selfies.


You have friends. Find them. Have them take your picture because to be honest that mirror flash is hurting everyone’s eyes.

2. Do not submit to the subdivision of mirror selfie: The Muscle Flash.


Why is you shirt off? Why is your shirt half on? Are you getting dressed? Looks like we are all confused. Let’s at least have a conversation before you start taking off your clothes.

3. Have a picture with friends.


It can be a picture with one friend, a group of friends, paid or bribed friends. It can even be a full on awkward group photoshoot on a couch in front of a fountain. Just let the world know that you are not a psycho.

4. Have at least one picture of just you.


Don’t hide yourself in a sea of friends. Believe it or not, people actually want to be able to identify who they are swiping right on.

5. Smile.


I know! Shocker! But seriously, a genuine smile is way more #fresh and #cool than a deep soul searching scowl.

6. Express your interest.


Do you like to ride bikes? Go hiking? Play basketball? See daylight? Express that! Change it up with some active pictures to let people know you do occasionally leave your house.

7.  Avoid old exes in pictures.


Is that your sister? Your ex? Over-touchy cousin? It’s best to just not confuse all of us.

8. Have more than one picture.


You should probably have more than one picture of yourself. Unless, you believe in soul-theft through photography, in which case you should probably avoid technology altogether.

9. Include a dog.


You can never go wrong with a cute dog cuddle pic. In fact, the more dogs the better.

Photos/gifs: giphy.com

Things Worth Loving This Valentine’s Day

Down with capitalistic consumer culture that tells us that showering in materialism one day a year is a necessary approach to demonstrating our care for a significant other! Down with societal expectations that promote monogamy, heteronormativity and tacky, giant, useless teddy bears bound for eventual landfill!

Why just celebrate one person one day a year when you are surrounded by people and things worth loving every day, all of the time?!

Here’s 4E’s take on things that are truly worthy of love and celebration this Valentine’s Day:

Epi’s salad bar

DeGioia’s smile

Healy Lawn

The Office

Bathroom Stall Art

Peets!

70 degree weather in February

Tinder

Free cake samples at Dog Tag Bakery

GUPD officers who smile

Arrupe’s study spaces

Arrupe being called Arrupe

NPR Politics

Leo’s vegan options

Yates midday

The Law Center GUTS bus

Lau’s free feminine product dispenser

Super Bowl commercials that promote unity

A friend’s baby photos

Your grandparents

Bitmojis

Peanut butter

The Smithsonian Museum of African American History and Culture

Lau’s book request system

Research grants

Sunshine

Fluffy dogs

Naps

Big dogs

Netflix

Little dogs

Booeymonger

Rumchata

If you’re still reading this and feel as though your qualms for the holiday have not subsided, here’s a list of things you might not love, but nonetheless could make you more grateful today for the things that you do love.

Here are things to also love today:

Donald Trump’s twitter

Expired groceries

The patriarchy

Systematic inequality

Georgetown’s rising tuition

Racial disparities

Antisemitism

Being ghosted

Canada Goose jackets

People who walk slowly

Read receipts

Saxanet

Poor customer service

Class with your ex

Classism

Corp coffee

Splitting the check

Partisanship

The Metro

Weekly assignments

Rejection

2k17’s lack of snow days

Gifs: giphy.com