Queer Eye: Beyond Reality TV

Listen up people — there’s a new show in town. Out of all of the quasi-reality television that we have proudly consumed in our lifetimes, “Queer Eye has been the most earth-shattering, jaw-dropping, mind-blowing, uplifting, barrier-crossing, awe-inspiring thing that we here at 4E have ever seen.

If you’re looking for some politically-conscious-yet-mindless-content, this is the show for you.

Ever wondered what would happen if five gay men traveled around Georgia (that’s the state, @SFSers) fixing ~sadbois~?

The answer is glorious. This show has everything: makeovers, drama, love, friendship, tears, wine and even redneck margaritas.

In all seriousness, “Queer Eye” aims to cross the political, racial, and social boundaries that have been dividing our country as of late.

Before you start watching, let us tell you how, why, and to what extent the “Fab 5” will change your life.

1. Karamo: “Culture Expert”/Life Coach

In addition to being impeccably groomed, Karamo gives you all the tools you need to reach inside yourself, find that inner worth and show it to the world #LetThatLittleLightShine.

Karamo was a social worker for 10 years, serving LGBTQ youth throughout the South. Now he is helping out an equally needy and oft-overlooked population: sad, aging men.

This man is the soul of the show. Karamo is always there at the pivotal moments, ensuring that the men have been made over, both inside and out.

Favorite Moment: Episode 3, “Dega Don’t”

Karamo and Cory’s drive back from Atlanta. You’ll understand once you see it.

2. Bobby: “Design Expert”/Home Improvement Wizard

An underappreciated talent, Bobby takes the sadbois’ dingy mancaves and transforms them into livable, ~lit~ homes. He’s constantly on the go, perfecting spaces in a blur of hot pink shorts and dazzling platinum hair.

Watch as he reduces grown men to tears with the mere words “marble countertop.”

Favorite Moment: Episode 5, “Camp Rules”

Bobby’s gardening sesh with Bobby Camp: the seeds of a beautiful friendship are sown.

3. Jonathan: “Grooming Expert”/Yass Kween

The fan favorite of QE, Jonathan’s starring turn as the show’s beauty guru has already led to the creation of a whole new lexicon of iconic sayings, including “Can you believe?” and “Strugs to func.”

Jonathan embraces everyone’s beauty, turning ugly ducklings into majestic, sexy, well-groomed swans.

We cannot get enough of this man. Please, please adopt us.

Favorite Moment: ALL OF THEM!

There are literally so many, we could not choose just one favorite moment.

4. Tan: “Fashion Expert”/Patterned Shirt Aficionado

Tan is the ultimate sweetheart. Though he is, without a doubt, a fashion expert, Tan knows that the key to style is feeling good about yourself inside and out. This quote says it all: “Style is not fashion. Fashion is not trendy after a season. I couldn’t give a sh*t about fashion. Style is dressing the way that you feel confident, and what is appropriate for you, your age [and] body type.”

Favorite Moment: Episode 2, “Saving Sasquatch”

The moment when Tan and Neal bond over their cultural similarities.

5. Antoni: “Food & Wine Expert”/Eye Candy

Ugh, where to start? Antoni is living proof that you can cook up a mean grilled cheese for one and still be bougie af #CollegeInspiration.

Not to mention: I really didn’t think that “supreming” a grapefruit could be sexy but alas, I was wrong.

By the end of the season, we think you’ll agree that Antoni’s feelings about avocados = OUR feelings about him ;).

Favorite Moment: Episode 6, “The Renaissance of Remington”

Antoni making mac n’ cheese with Remy’s mom will make your heart melt like a hunk of cheddar on a hot griddle. This boy knows how to woo a mama.

*swoons*

Now that you’ve met the Fab 5, we hope you take their advice to heart and become the best you that you can be. “Queer Eye” is the show of a modern America, one nation under Fab, all together.

 Whether you’re black, white, straight, gay, or however you identify, “Queer Eye” is here for us all.

So what are you waiting for? Pretend to sexile your roommate, snuggle up under those blankies, open Netflix, and start watching.

*curtsies*

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, netflix.com, 

Best Places to be Dumped on Campus

As cuffing season comes to an end, so will the PDA in freshman common rooms. While many were blessed to already find their soulmates in a sweaty Henle, SOME of us have already accepted our permanent statuses as third wheels (I’m not salty, it’s whatever).

Nonetheless, if you’re thinking of ending it with your significant other, consider these trendy spots on the Hilltop.

1. Lau 1: This is the quiet zone, which means no sounds. No one can hear you cry, and you can save yourself the embarrassment.

2. Leo’s on Chicken Tender Thursday: This is your last chance to be featured on @couplesatleos.

3. Yates at 12:01 AM: Word on the street is that the lights spontaneously shut off promptly at 12:01 AM—whether you like it or not. Now, no one can see you weep or mourn over your short-lived relationship.

4. Epi: I’m sure you’ll make friends with the other heartbroken Hoyas who are drunkenly eating away their feelings with a warm chicken quesadilla.

5. Walsh elevator: At least you’ll be in the cramped comfort of 18 people who chose to wait 12 minutes for an elevator instead of taking the stairs to the 3rd floor.

6. GERMS Truck: Treat your alcohol poisoning AND your heartbreak for the price of one expensive and overrated hospital fee.

But fret not—70% of Hoyas marry Hoyas, right? Its always okay to be a #SingleLady.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, stuartschool.org

Who Goes to What Corp Location

There’s nothing Georgetown students love to hate more than The Corp. Yet sometimes, when Leo’s just doesn’t cut it, even the most anti-establishment SFSers will succumb to their consumerist urges and support the capitalist temptress that is The Corp — those apple cinnamon muffins are just too good. But there are some of us whose Flex Dollar accounts seemingly runneth over and, thus, frequent Corp storefronts more than others. To anyone still stinging from their freshman fall Corp rejection, this one’s for you.

Hilltoss

Hilltoss — the bougie student’s Crop Chop and the lazy student’s Sweetgreen. While some of us may balk at the prices — $12 for a salad the size of my palm?— the cost is no problem for your international friend whose parents are either diplomats or “international businessmen” (aka CIA operatives). This Moncler-sporting expat summers in the south of France, skis in the winters at their chalet in Switzerland and is way overdressed for your 9 a.m. “Problem of God” class. They like Hilltoss because it’s sooo much less processed than the rest of the food in the United States; after their refreshing, organic salad they are known to enjoy a cigarette break outside the HFSC.

This ~citizen of the world~ can find kinship in the laptop-sticker-loving social justice warrior waiting behind them in line. Likely a JUPS or WGST major, this person hails from Long Island or a wealthy Jersey suburb, probably spells their name weirdly — you’re not fooling anyone, Maddisynne — and used to love infinity signs and WeHeartIt but now has deleted all social media so they can be more “in touch with nature.” Though the rest of us may term them “granola,” they prefer to be called “sustainable” or “ecological.”

Uncommon Grounds

This artsy coffee snob was definitely deciding between Wesleyan, NYU, and Georgetown. They have a Crosley record player and listen exclusively to the Velvet Underground and Nirvana. UG is the perfect place for them to drink some ~real~ coffee while journaling or writing poetry in their Moleskine. Something about the album cover wall art and deliberately disheveled decor really gets their creative juices flowing and the “accidental” coffee rings on their papers make them feel authentic.

MUG

This ICC holy grail serves students of all kinds, from all backgrounds and in all schools, but there is one they serve the most — the over-caffeinated SFSer who just has SO MANY core requirements, three State Department internships at once, is learning their fifth language and really wants you to know they’re in the SFS and that their workload is harder than yours. One of the few breeds on campus able to navigate the labyrinth of the ICC, this student can often be seen running from “Map of the Modern World” to Arabic with a Corp coffee cup in hand. The best course of action is to get out of their way and get them their coffee as fast as possible — they’re in the SFS after all, so they need it more than you.

Hoya Snaxa

Most people who enter this glorified broom cupboard are under some sort of influence, be it exhaustion, alcohol or some other ~controlled~ substance. It takes a lot for someone to willingly shove themselves into a closet stuffed to the brim with likely expired drugstore candy and very few do so completely sober. The typical Snaxa-goer is a Southwest Quad sophomore looking for a lighter and some Cheetos to aid in their cannabis-related endeavors. They probably are in Ultimate Frisbee and are majoring in Econ or OPIM. This classic Hoya bro is definitely sporting head-to-toe Georgetown athletic gear despite not having been on a sports team since 10th grade — unless FIFA counts.

Midnight Mug

This person is that friend who never goes to lecture, writes papers drunk and still manages to make the Dean’s List. Whatever they lack in work ethic they make up for with determination, nerve and coffee. This highly caffeinated Hoya is an avid Redditor, with a taste in memes you don’t understand and a passion for conspiracy theories like, “Jack the Bulldog is actually a robotic surveillance device deployed by the Soviets during the Cold War, and that’s why you can never pet him.”  You can find this person on Lau 2 at 11 p.m. the night before an essay they haven’t started is due, watching “Illuminati Confirmed” videos.

Vital Vittles

Nearly everyone goes to Vittles, but none more so than the sleep-deprived MSBro — or, I’m told, people getting ready to throw a Henle rager. Desperately in need of some Nutella or Red Bull to patch their life back together after scrolling through Facebook videos instead of studying for three hours, what this person really needs is a hug. Yet, all they get is a giant pack of oddly flavored potato chips they didn’t want because Vittles was out of what they really wanted.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, thecorp.org

Snakes of Georgetown

Urban Dictionary defines a snake as: “someone who you think is sincere and really nice, but then turns out to be a backstabber.” To people of Georgetown who have slightly inconvenienced me: welcome to your tape.

Security Guards at Lau – They let in homeless people but make me get out my GoCard. I go to Lau 1 at least three times a day.

People that don’t hold the door for you at Leo’s – Do you know how hard it is to open those heavy doors? Help a weak girl out here.

Tired Corp employee on a Sunday – I know you’re hungover, but can you at least look up at me while taking my order?

Freshman RAs – My study abroad application still lists my first week of school write-up as a disciplinary sanction. Did my noise complaint really disturb the peace of New South?

Professors who take off points after the third absence – I know this is all of them, but three absences really aren’t too many.

People who wear glasses and don’t need them, but just want to look smart and trendy – I’m essentially blind, so please don’t appropriate my culture.

Whisk guy who takes food orders – Stop taking 10 orders at once, forgetting them all, and then asking everyone their order again! It’s not an efficient system!

THAT ONE LXR SECURITY GUARD – You all know the one. We all have beef with her. Avoid this one at all costs.

The Walsh Building – It’s always blasting heat, the elevator takes forever, and the bathrooms are gross and have graffiti all over them. Students of the humanities truly do suffer.

People who press “Door Close” in an elevator when they see someone coming – You’re petty.

Jack the Bulldog’s walkers – I swear these people think they run the school. Once I was denied petting Jack because it wasn’t his “petting time.” I’m still not over it.

 

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, flickr.com

Best Trader Joe’s Wines

It’s time to ditch the Charles Shaw. Here’s a list of some potential new favorites (if you’re 21, of course)!

  1. Blue Fin Chardonnay & Pinot Noir, $3.99
    Chardonnay is a pale straw gold color with aromas of lime, melon and some faint oak. It tastes of pears, warm oak and a touch of cinnamon and is finished with a mellow oakey pear taste.
  2. Secco Mango Mangocini, $4.99
    It comes to us from Germany, where they begin with Trebbiano grapes. The supplier makes a slightly effervescent wine from those grapes and adds mango juice and mango flavor to create a fizzy, fruity beverage that’s ideal for the hot days and nights of August and early September.
  3. Green Fin Grenache Rosé, $4.99
    This selection has a Bright medium reddish amber color and features Lively, fruity, earthy aromas of cherry-berry, dried wild strawberries, dusty oak and lemon zest with a crisp, dry full body and a warming, complex, breezy finish with fruit tannins and no oak.

  4. Rebuttel Chardonnay, $7
    tastes like caramel apples and fresh air — basically an apple picking day trip in a bottle.
  5. Albada Viñas Viejas Garnacha, $6.99
    This choice features Raisiny, saucy aromas that are slightly volatile. A wide, saturated palate comes up short on focus and acidity, while a mix of raisin and green-herb flavors lands on a heavy finish.
  6. Incanto Prosecco, $12
    This Prosecco is the perfect choice for anyone who doesn’t want a sweet wine but likes bubbles.
  7. 19 Crimes Red Blend, $7
    if sweeter red wines aren’t your thing, this one probably isn’t your wine. Still, it’s hard not to be impressed by the fantastic marketing, as each label harbors a photo of an actual convicted criminal and each cork is labeled with one of the 19 crimes that could get you sent to prison in Australia.
  8. 2010 Casone Toscana, $10.99 (13%alc)
    This one begins with a pleasant aroma of black cherry, strawberry, spice, some balsamic notes and a little mint.
  9. 2014 Pine Ridge Chenin Blanc Viognier, $9.99 (12.5%)
    This selection has pleasant aromas of grapefruit, melon, and pear, along with honeysuckle and other floral notes.

     

Sources: traderjoes.com, reversewinesnob.com, images.google.com, lifeatthetop.com

The Five Worst Types of People During Midterm Szn

Okay, first of all, why are they called midterms when they start during the third week of a semester and last until finals? Honestly, it’s a living hell.

Now that our first week of bliss has ended, midterms have inevitably begun to plague our lives. Who knew that we could cram five books on the theories of Plato into our poor little heads during one night in Lau? We begin the long nights of studying, the copious amounts of caffeine and the stressful ordering of Dominos’ unhealthily-cheesy pizza.

And during this infamous #szn, there are a few types of ~special~ people who make midterms even better. And by better I mean worse:

1. The “I Have More Work Than You” Person

We all know this person.  The moment we decide to tell the rest of the world that we have an Econ midterm and that we’re dying, this lovable individual decides to announce that they have a ten-page paper along with two midterms.

Um, did I ask? No. Let me wallow in my own misery and self-pity for my current state of being. Please. Don’t compare your overbearing workload to mine. Don’t turn this into a contest for who has more work. Trust me, you don’t get a prize.

2. The Wannabe Einstein

“Omg, I didn’t even study for the test, and I got an A.” Right. That’s believable. I’m sorry, are you a genius, or just incredibly lucky? You really mean to tell me that you didn’t pay attention to a single lecture and your eyes didn’t even unintentionally glance over a few sheets of paper to review for the test? Really? Call me a pessimist, but for some unfathomable reason, I find that hard to believe.

3. The Whiner

Maybe this is me just being really unsympathetic toward others or just being a terrible person in general, but I don’t want to listen to you complain about your workload. Then again, I’m guilty of this so I really have no valid reason to be upset. I guess the overall lesson is that college — as fun as it can be — really,  likes to make our lives miserable at times. Who would’ve thought that staying up until 5:30 a.m. in Lau and writing a paper on British poetry was not an ~ideal~ way to spend the night?

4. The Mathematician

“If I get a 86 exactly on this midterm, I’ll for sure get an A for the semester.”  Let me preface this by saying that I’m already stressed as is for tests and I don’t need a grade to quantify my own stupidity. That was a little bit harsh; I’ll rephrase. Please don’t tell me what you need to get an A for the WHOLE semester. I’m just trying to pass one little test over here. Baby steps.

5. The Plague-Bringer

To be fair, I was this person during my first semester, so I know how awful it is. It’s that one individual who decides to hack up a lung every five seconds or unapologetically sniffle continuously for an hour.

I know, I know- we really shouldn’t get mad. But just imagine being on Lau 4 – it’s dead silent, and you’ve finally gotten into the working mood (if that even exists). All of a sudden, this lovely person begins to cough so badly you don’t know whether to go over and ask if they need help or just slowly get very, very annoyed until you call it quits and leave Lau altogether.

Spoiler: it’s usually the latter.

So there you have it: all your favorite people during midterm szn. Good luck, Hoyas. You’re going to need it.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, oxbridgeacademy.edu

The Ghost of Your Phone’s Past: An App Graveyard

Readers, it’s that time of year when we’re all drowning in midterms yet procrastinating through various forms and getting takeout every day still surviving. Let’s just say that spring break cannot come soon enough.

Despite the Georgetown stress culture that surrounds us and forces us to buckle down in Lau cubicles, we still need to take study breaks — even if that entails a small nap in a cubicle (which I’ve done before and highly recommend). You could walk down to Midnight and get a Rainbow Fish, arguably the best beverage ever invented by The Corp. You could even just go to Booey’s — obviously only if you’re 21, though — and throw back a pitcher before heading back with a lovely buzz.

OR, you could also just sit there and mindlessly pass time on your phone and computer. If you do this, make sure it’s at least worth your while by playing a fantastic game or doing something very entertaining. To help you with that, let’s take a walk down memory lane as 4E explores the apps, long since dead, that used to dominate our time.

1. Angry Birds– One of the first and longest-lasting apps of the electronic world. Shooting birds from one end of the screen to the other sure was a riveting experience in 2015. Starting as a cellular app and then expanding to both tablets and computers, this app definitely could help you pass fifteen minutes.

Apparently if the app isn’t enough, you could also experience it in real life.

2. Words with Friends– Maybe you still use this to play against your grandparents, but the craze over this game has long since fizzled out. Although it’ll keep you from doing schoolwork, you might consider this game to be productive since you’re using words and building vocabulary…?

3. PapiJump– This app gained popularity when Apple released iPhones with motion sensitivity features. In other words, playing a game in which tilting your phone helped change the direction of a ball — or, in this case, a “Papi” — struck the world as something revolutionary.

4. Tap Tap Revenge– I vividly remember people in my grammar school fighting to hold the iPod touch so they could play this incredibly overrated game. Basically, they took Guitar Hero and adapted it to a phone form. So many better games, and my classmates chose this lame app that requires the mental capacity of a dodo bird.  SMH.

5. Candy Crush Saga– Personally I never played this game, but I remember all too well the craze over this seemingly-boring game. Similar to Tap Tap Revenge, this game required a player to tap the screen over and over again (or so I’ve heard). So original!

However, considering its popularity, I guess whatever floats your boat is fine.

6. Fruit Ninja– Now THIS was a fantastic game. I was one of those people who would spend five minutes just moving my finger in a rapid zig-zag across the screen. Let’s just say that wasn’t the best strategy but nonetheless worked. Now, the term “fruit ninja” has taken on a different meaning.

1.4k likes and counting

7. Yik Yak– Anonymous messaging.

Yik Yak provided a platform where people could either play pranks on others or just harass and bully them, thus offering a quite valid reason for its restriction on school campuses. But outside of the ugly effects, Yik Yak was very entertaining. One time when I was at a football game I saw someone’s post about how there was vomit all over the bathroom floor, which was quite useful to know at the time. On that note, we probably need something like that for Epi at 1 a.m. on a Friday night. Unfortunately, Yik Yak has been laid to rest.

8. Vine– Okay, I know some people still use Vine, but does it really have the same fervor it had a few years ago? Despite the decline of this beloved app, it still exists and can be used to procrastinate. You might even find some gems that will make you laugh quite loudly in your cubicle (do yourself a favor and skip to 1:14).

9. Trivia Crack– Again, this app still exists but the craze associated with it has disappeared. I, for one, was obsessed with this game. I remember I was called out in high school for challenging people on Christmas Eve. Let’s just say I didn’t get out much in those years.

10. QuizUp– Yet another app that still exists but in some faded form to which no one pays attention. The only reason I downloaded this was that one of my teachers in high school offered us extra credit if we could beat him. I, as you could guess, was victorious. Many others, unfortunately, were not.

11. FatBooth– One of the most entertaining apps of all time. The best part is that you can upload older photos to the app instead of just using your phone’s camera. This app is also available on the Mac App Store and my computer.

12. Flappy Bird– As usual, we save the best for last. The app that defined a generation and gripped the nation my senior year of high school stands as the best on this list. Back when I was young, dumb and used Twitter, people would tweet their high scores and go back-and-forth in arguments over who was better. Friendships were broken and homework assignments went uncompleted, but a few people became famous–at least in my small northern New Jersey high school community. Sadly, Flappy Bird has been taken off the App Store.

Happy exam season, Hoyas! Use this list to procrastinate this week. If not, use it for spring break if you’re bored or just don’t feel like participating in a conversation.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, facebook.com, commons.wikimedia.com

The Best Things About Flu Season

Although midterms are starting to pick up steam, it seems like “Flu Szn” is at its peak since almost everyone you know is suffering from a terrible strain. The flu is awful, but looking past those sleepless nights where you lay in bed, shivering and coughing your lungs out,…

…having the flu is not so bad. In fact, here are the best things about getting the flu.

Missing Class

It’s every kid’s dream to skip school, and now your dream has come true. You don’t have to listen to annoying professors promote their own book that they made you buy for class. Finally, for one day, you don’t have to go to your Econ lecture and sit there confused, wondering what one could possibly do with an English major.

TV

Having the flu means bed rest, and bed rest means binge-watching every TV show possible. Who knew it only takes 2 days, 14 hours and 24 minutes to watch all of Game of Thrones?

Weight Loss

Want to lose weight? Don’t want to embarrass yourself at Yates? Well no need to fear, the newest diet trend of 2018 is here! With one dose of the influenza virus, you can get rid of the “freshman 15” in only three days!

Bonus: Downstairs Leo’s will taste as good as…upstairs Leo’s when you finally start eating again!

Sobriety

The flu will make you experience your first weekend in college completely sober! What a strange feeling it is to not shove disgustingly flavored Burnett’s down your throat as you walk through a sweaty, fire-hazardous Henle while trying to breathe through all that mango-scented Juul smoke that may (or may not, who knows) give you cancer.

Despite all these benefits, the flu still sucks, and you can’t wait to start partying “studying” again with your friends. Just make sure to wash your hands and don’t share drinks!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, youvisit.com

Monday Music Update! (Week of 2/19/18)

I will keep everyone in my prayers as this week drowns us in midterms. How important is your college GPA anyway?

Enjoy this one. Definitely my favorite playlist so far.

  1. Miss Right – Anderson.Paak
  2. Get ‘Em Up – Anderson.Paak
  3. Bound 1 – Seemy
  4. she only likes me when i’m drunk – frumhere
  5. Shoulda Made U a Mother – Rob Curly

Good luck this week, homies. See you on the other side.

Photos/Gifs/Music: giphy.com, soundcloud.com, spotify.com, pexels.com

25 Moms Better than Kylie Jenner

There’s no doubt Kylie Jenner and Stormi stole Justin Timberlake’s moment during the Super Bowl a few weeks ago. But everyone is wondering — how is 20-year-old Kylie going to transform from a glitter guru into a stellar mom?

Many of us are actually older than the younger Jenner herself, making us skeptical of her parenting skills (after all, she did confuse a baby pig for a chicken). In light of these doubts, here are 25 iconic people who may make a better mom than Kylie Jenner.

1. Regina George’s mom

2. Chrissy Teigen

3. Elastigirl

4. Grandma Squarepants

5. University President John J. DeGioia

6. Amanda Bynes (pre-rehab)

7. Tyga

8. Phoebe Buffay’s mom

9. The bouncer at Sax

10. Beyoncé

11. Kim Kim from Sazón

12. The New South RA who never writes you up

13. North, Saint and Chicago West

14. The mom from the “Black Mirror” episode “Arkangel”

15. Carey Martin from “The Suite Life of Zack and Cody”

16. Nani from “Lilo and Stitch”

17. The Cash Me Outside Girl

18. Spencer from “iCarly”

19. The mom from “Diary of a Wimpy Kid”

20. Wisey’s Rat

21. Whoever created @couplesatleos

22. Cardi B

23. Bradley Cooper (COL ’97)

24. The student guard who doesn’t just let you in

25. Kylie’s plastic surgeon

Still, in all seriousness, we here at 4E congratulate Kylie on her new baby, who is probably already richer than all of us.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, snapchatguide.blogspot.com