St. Paddy’s Day Party Ideas

St. Patrick’s Day is this weekend, which means it’s one of those rare times when Georgetown students finally have some fun. There’s nothing better than putting on that one green shirt  you never wear and eating and drinking as much as you possibly can. But for those people who are tired of the traditional St. Paddy’s Day celebration, here are some ideas to spice up your party this weekend.

St. Natty’s Day

What combines St. Paddy’s Day and college more than having a party where you only drink Natty Lights? Who cares that it’s not an Irish beer? We’re in the United States anyway.

St. Fratty’s Day

Just pretend Georgetown has a large Greek life presence on campus and throw a frat party complete with beer pong, bros and backwards hats. So frat!

St. Daddy’s Day

This party can go two ways. You can throw down with everyone’s biological father or celebrate with your real ~daddy~ ;).

St. Caddy’s Day

Time to bring out the Vineyard Vines and polo shirts, and turn your Henle into Georgetown’s most lit and most exclusive country club.

St. Ratty’s Day

This one is for all the important rats in our lives. We can officially party in celebration of the Wisey’s Rat™. Chicken Madnesses for everyone!

Happy St. Paddy’s Day, Hoyas!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, qrznow.com

An Ode to Finals Season

As the long-awaited Dec. 20 draws near, we here at 4E have prepared an ode to undoubtedly the merriest time of the year: FINALS SZN. Whether you’re reading this post in the sanctity of your own dearly missed home, at your ~unique~ vacation spot in Mexico or on the Hilltop waiting for your unfortunately-scheduled math final, we can relate to what you’re feeling:

So, without further ado, let’s all take a moment to reflect on Georgetown’s beloved stress culture, appreciate the ~high-quality~ Whisk coffee that has fueled us thus far and give ourselves a pat on the back for succeeding  doing relatively well surviving this semester!

After endless midterms, weeks of studying all night,

there’s a brief respite, then finals are in sight.

It seems like it’s always time to buckle down

but that’s just part of being at Georgetown

The struggle is real as you prep for Bib Lit —

but what can you expect from the Jesuits?

You’ve got 99 problems, the first is Of God,

and in time you’re exposed as a Catholic fraud.

In your first exam, those wretched blue books appear

and before too long, they’re stained with your tears.

You fight through hand cramps for two hours straight,

and from nine to eleven, your heart palpitates.

Lau 2 is love, Lau 2 is life —

just kidding, that place is a hellhole of strife.

You wonder, will these troubles ever be over?

It’s been awhile since you’ve been this sober.

You’ve studied forever, it seems like a time warp,

and while waiting at MUG, you curse the capitalist Corp.

Later that day, you procrastinate more:

It was feeling too lonely up on Lau 4.

You’re buried in books on a Saturday night —

to friends at state schools, it’s a pitiful sight.

It’s only midnight, but the future looks bleak.

You remind yourself, though, that sleep’s for the weak.

But when you finally get into the swing of things,

to no one’s surprise, Lau’s fire alarm rings.

So you make your way over to good ol’ Leavey —

should four flights of stairs really make you this wheezy?

Texts from your friends say they’re already on break,

but at least they’ll be free to attend your wake.

You’re struggling to find the will to survive,

indeed, you fall short of the expectation to thrive.

“How to learn French in a day,” you search online.

You’d forgotten “Bonjour”— probably not a good sign

After handing in your final subpar paper,

it looks like life’s finally turned in your favor.

Though GPA-wise, there may be reason to fear,

that’ll be a problem you save for next year.

The holidays will provide plenty of reason

for you to repress this finals season.

Walking past Healy, you take a pic and proceed,

“until next semester!” your Snapchat story reads.

Suitcase in hand, you feel an upswing in mood

at the thought of three weeks without Leo’s food.

You search for your Uber outside the front gates —

What’s taking so long? New Jersey awaits!

~Happy Hoyadays~ from all of us at 4E!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, tumblr.com

Six Types of Relatives You’ll Meet at Thanksgiving: Hoya Edition

As the holiday season draws near, Hoyas are gladly anticipating a break from their usual Leo’s meals—but at what cost? Here’s 4E’s rundown of the six types of relatives that we all just ~can’t wait~ to reunite with over this Thanksgiving dinner…

1. The Interrogative Relationship Guru

“Do you have a boyfriend? That’s too bad! What about the cute boy in your Instagram post?”

First of all, Grandma, he’s gay. Undeterred, she offers up her very best date ideas from “back in the day” as you stifle your laughter at the thought of any MSBro at a drive-in theater. You wonder if the sort of “fine young men” she continually references even exist on the Hilltop.

2. The Millennial Wannabe

Lucky for you, this aunt’s midlife crisis seems to have perfectly aligned with your annual encounter. Having seen your Snapchat story from last Friday, she proposes a “girls’ night out” at Chi Di next weekend. You promptly delete your social media and apply to study abroad.

3. The Deadbeat

Maybe your college life isn’t as wholesome as your grandparents may think, but unlike this cousin, at least you’ll definitely most likely end up with a diploma. You decide that introducing him to your SFS friends might set his life back on track but quickly think better of it. Having him around will make you feel better about yourself when next semester’s club rejection season rolls around.

4. The Diehard Trump Supporter

Tattooed with the U.S. flag and shamelessly sporting a MAGA hat, this uncle finds a way to blame everything on the immigrants—even this year’s burnt turkey. You politely bear the brunt of his incessant rant until he spots the GU College Dems and H*yas For Choice stickers on your laptop, after which he avoids all interaction with you for the rest of the night. Success.

5. The Shy Guy

Exchanging forced pleasantries with this relative is even more uncomfortable than leading a tour group on Georgetown Day. As awkward as the conversation is, though, it’s just like the ICC: you can’t find a way out.

6. The Annual Alcoholic

This relative looks as tipsy as the Wisey’s rat before the turkey’s even carved. She must have mistaken Thanksgiving dinner for a late-night Epi gathering, but at least by tomorrow she’ll forget the night ever happened, and you can equally pretend that it never did.

We at 4E bestow our deepest sympathy and respect upon any Hoya that successful endures a conversation with three or more of these ~special~ relatives. On a serious note, we hope you all enjoy your well-deserved break from school and express thanks for all the family members who’ve supported you from afar (even those who fall under one of these categories)!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com

Why 20 Is Not an Irrelevant Age

We here at 4E have set out to explain Why 20 Is Not Irrelevant: You may not get a Tombs Night, but the big 2-0 has some perks.

  1. Congrats! You’ve beaten teen pregnancy!  Take pride in accomplishing something Kylie Jenner could not.

  2. You’ve likely spent fifteen years of your life in school and still don’t understand taxes. But, hey, at least you know that the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell!
  3. It is legal to drink in Iceland and Japan. Is there a Tombs in Tokyo?


  4. You’re closer to turning 40 than you are to birth!
  5. Teenage emo phases are over — it ISN’T a phase mom, this IS the real me.


  6. You can officially feel out of touch with ~the youth~ and not feel like a bad millennial. I never understood fidget spinners anyway, to be honest.


  7. Society expects you to get married, have kids and successfully establish a career during this decade! (I’m fine, he’s fine, we’re ALL FINE!)

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, eaglesgymnastics.com

The 5 Stages of Spring Break as Told by Corinne

Spring break is a little less than a week away. While most of you are cramming for that last midterm and quickly giving up on that “beach bod” you were so determined to get (back in January), you are so, so ready for a weeklong vacation. Also … in conjunction with spring break, the last few episodes of this season’s dramatic Bachelor on ABC will be airing. As an avid fan of “The Bachelor” franchise,  it is only fitting that I write an article narrating your likely stages of spring break as told by my favorite Bachelor villain/babe, Corinne Olympios.

4E presents your five stages of spring break:

Stage 1: The Stage of Pure Bliss
You’ve just arrived to your destination and you are ready to throw on that new swimsuit and get a drink in your hand ASAP. You feel motivated, excited and just plain relieved to be on vacation bliss instead of Lau 5.

Stage 2: The Stage of Debauchery
It’s been a day or so and you’ve really been taking advantage of your time without responsibilities (like, really taking advantage). You’re having fun and maybe having a few too many poolside Piña Coladas, but who’s counting. You may go out one night and dance on a few tables, but hey, this is spring break! No ragrets, right?

Stage 3: The Stage of Regret
Your head is pounding and you never want to see another margarita in a plastic cup again … let alone go anywhere near that poolside bar. You’re tired, hungry and just need some TLC. This may be in the form of a spa treatment or a relaxing shopping day or even a nice long nap. All you know is that last night was fuzzy and you need to lay low for a few hours.

Stage 4: The Stage of Exhaustion
Sometimes, a “college” spring break can be absolutely exhausting. You are constantly on the go, doing lots of activities and the sun can be rather draining. You’re sharing a hotel room with five people and you can only sleep max six hours a night. It’s like you need a vacation from your vacation and you just CAN’T EVEN.

Stage 5: The Stage of Reminiscing
Your spring break is almost over, and while you’re happy to get back on a normal sleeping schedule, you truly had the best time ever. You’re basically going to talk about this trip for the next three months and post lots of “take me back” posts on Instagram (#TBT). You can’t wait to tell the rest of your squad all about your amazing vacation, even if there were a few hiccups.

4E wishes all of you a wonderful and safe spring break.

Spoiler Alert: Corinne may be off the show, but we all know that we will be seeing much more of her in the future! #TeamCorn everyone!!!

Images: giphy.com

How to Prepare for Spring Break

Spring! Break! Spring! Break!

Maybe you love Georgetown more than life itself. Is your phone background a super original picture of Healy Hall? Did you finally learn the words to the fight song and now find too many opportunities to ask your friends what time it is? Has a majority of your wardrobe been purchased at the bookstore? Have you Instagram-ed a pic with the caption “37th and hOme”? Regardless of how much you bleed blue and gray, 4E bets you’re feeling a bit overdue for a break from the Hilltop.

Whether your plans for break include getting as burnt tan as possible, exercising those #JesuitValues and going on a service trip, or spending seven days straight in a bed that isn’t lofted and approximately three feet wide, here are some tips for how to prepare for the (hopefully not too wild) week ahead:

1. Email the professors who seem to have forgotten that Georgetown gives its students a spring break.

Pull up that angry email draft that you (hopefully don’t) have lying around waiting for your professor who plans on giving a midterm the Tuesday after spring break. While writing haikus about photosynthesis is DEFINITELY more important than providing medical services in Honduras, hopefully your professor will make an exception to extent the deadline just this once.

2. Make that last pilgrimage to Leo’s.

Realizing that you will be away from your beloved Leo O’Donovan’s for an entire week is almost making you have second thoughts about heading to Cancun with your girlfriends. Use all of your meal swipes this week to mitigate the understandable Leo’s separation anxiety that you’re having. Money not spent at Tombs this week is money spent on refreshing beverages (read: lemonade) next week.

3. Power Pose to bring your confidence to full beam!

Gwen Stefani GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

You haven’t been following a “nothing but cucumbers” diet? Leo’s vegan brownies are too good to pass up? You live in close proximity to ~8,000 other people and want to spare the Georgetown community from your hangry wrath? Spring break dieting (and dieting in general) is dumb? 4E is in FULL support of this line of thought. Some reminders: bikini + body = bikini body, beauty is within and your worth is wholly dependent on whether or not you have been featured on @hoyas_eatin_naners.

4. Wrangle all of your favorite, polyester triangles (triangls?)!

Will you actually be swimming? Are your spring break outfits Mom ApprovedTM? Maybe … not. Regardless, be sure to throw more sunscreen than you think you need into your suitcase along with that tangle of swimwear.

5. Packing is a skill that, as a college student, you must master.

If your travels are taking you to that underrated place called home, don’t forget to stuff your winter coat, sweaters and Bean Boots into that suitcase. With this incredible 75 degree weather that we’re having (in February), you shouldn’t be needing them anytime soon. Also, you do not want to have to navigate through the Reagan security line in May wearing the five layers of clothing that wouldn’t fit into your suitcases.

Enjoy your well-deserved break! Have fun, make good decisions, and don’t make those Instagram captions too cheesy.

We’ll see ya in a week, John Carroll!

Images: giphy.com

Four Ways to Spice Up Your Valentine’s Day

There are many painful realities of growing up. At a certain point, you are expected to make your own doctors’ appointments, have a Linkedin profile, pay for the Christmas presents that you are giving, proofread your own emails and put someone other than your mom down as your emergency contact. One of the most regrettable hallmarks of ~adulthood~ is the point at which Valentine’s Day goes from being a lovely holiday where you exchange candy with each of your fellow third grade classmates, to a day of overrated expectations

(Not to mention the societal expectation that you have one singular valentine, which means that you are only receiving candy from ONE person… Who decided this was the norm?)

While the prospect of Valentine’s Day is typically met with groans, chocolate and wine have gone on sale at CVS and this opportunity must be capitalized on, regardless of your relationship status. Whether your valentine is your wife of 50 years, your dog, your BFF, your serious boyfriendTM, or (treat) yourself, 4E is here to help you show the important people in your life how much they mean to you.

1. Bake a cake

I HIGHLY recommend putting your love into homemade, edible, frosted form. Impress your beloved with your ability to maneuver a questionable common room kitchen. Judge whether or not your Tinder date is truly a “match” by how compatible your cake preferences are!

*If they think that red velvet is clothing material, call GUPD asap*

Frost out a romantic haiku to let a special someone on the Hilltop know how you feel. Take away: baking is a fast and foolproof way to just about anyone’s heart.

2. Sing a Taylor Swift song

T-Swizzle’s canon of relationship woes has plenty of material for all relationship statuses. What better way to celebrate your favorite mushy-gushy holiday than whipping out some T. Swift circa-2008 hits? Maybe you have a relationship serious enough to merit a re-enactment of the “You Belong with Me” music video. Or maybe you and your gal-entines are belting out “Teardrops on My Guitar” in between sips of rosé. Thank you, Taylor, for providing us with this kind of versatility.

3. Go out to eat

4E prohibits any semblance of a Leo’s date on February 14th. Nothing says “I love you” like taking a break from the meal plan together. Good news: as good as Leo’s Chicken Finger Thursday is, the bar has been set low. As long as you’ve made reservations, it’s hard to go wrong here. Whether you’re going to be proposing at 1789, or you and your best friend plan on ordering all of the Good Stuff milkshakes together, good food is  a power move.

4. Steal the Hope diamond

We live in Washington D.C., people! You have the Smithsonian Natural History Museum at your disposal and little blue boxes can’t compete with Countess Mona von Bismarck’s sapphire necklace. Perfect gift for your history buff S.O., but maybe not so perfect for your Intro to Ethics crush who’s a proponent of altruism.

Gifs: giphy.com

Dating Advice from Donald Trump

Hear ye, hear ye! A proclamation to all the Georgetown romantics looking for or currently involved in a loving relationship: Valentine’s Day is just around the corner! You may think that you are an expert on the lovely world of dating, but there can only be one true master. And that master just happens to be the President of the United States. We here at 4E have searched for and archived some of our new President’s greatest pieces of advice just for you!

Follow this advice and you can be            just like The Donald!

Have no tolerance for cheaters.

The fall of 2012 was a rocky time for everyone’s former favorite celebrity couple, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. With allegations of cheating by Kristen Stewart running amuck, many were outraged–including America’s very own, Donald Trump.

In the span of approximately one month, our President tweeted a total of 6 times voicing his opinions on what Robert Pattinson should do about his former partner’s infidelity. The rampage begins with the following remarks made on October 17, 2012:

While this tweet includes a few troubling remarks, the overall message is clear–Robert Pattinson should not tolerate cheating and neither should you.

Have high standards for yourself.

Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are not the only celebrity couple Donald Trump felt the irresistible desire to weigh in on. He also simply had to tell the world his opinion of Katy Perry and Russel Brand as well. On October 16, 2014, Donald Trump sent the following tweet.

Considering he is the father of two daughters, it should come as no surprise that Donald Trump has taken the “over-protective-dad” approach to this one. He only wants the best for Katy and you. Find yourself a significant other who’s got more going on than Russel Brand and don’t settle for anything less.

@RusselBrand

Don’t date unattractive people (inside and out).

On August 28, 2012, Donald Trump offered a compliment to the husband of Arianna Huffington for his decision to divorce his wife.

Donald Trump raises some very important points here. Physical and emotional attraction are key for any relationship to flourish. In this tweet, Donald Trump also displays a clear understanding of how sexuality works–Arianna Huffington’s former husband was clearly so repulsed by the unattractiveness of his wife that he became gay.

If this does not show Donald Trump’s support of LGBTQ rights, I don’t know what does.

Don’t date your daughter.

While I thought this was an unspoken rule, Donald Trump has made it very clear that you should not, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, date your daughter–no matter how attracted you are to her.

Donald Trump has often made remarks on the physical beauty of his daughter, Ivanka, in the past. In fact, on one 2006 episode of ABC’s “The View,”  “If Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.” I guess a biological, paternal relationship is simply an unfortunate deal breaker for our president.

That’s it for now kids! If you simply follow Donald Trump’s advice, you will wake up on Valentine’s Day with a relationship as strong and genuine as his and Melania’s.

Photos/gifs: twitter.com, giphy.com 

The New Year’s Resolutions You Won’t Keep

It is that time of the year again. A time of new beginnings, new memories, new laughs, and, most importantly, new resolutions. With each new year comes a new set of promises we Hoyas make to ourselves to make this coming year even better than the last. The thing is, however, we know we probably will not keep them. Here are some New Year’s resolutions you probably made to yourself that you know won’t make it to 2018.

I am going to eat healthy and go to Yates every day.

You get home for Christmas break and weigh yourself for the first time since August. You subsequently endure the 5 Stages of Grief. You promise yourself to live a ~healthy lifestyle~ in the spring semester. Three weeks into January you find yourself sitting in front of a plate of chicken fingers on a Thursday with no recollection of the last time you made it to the gym but also with no ragrets.

“Ohana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind.”

I will not drink Natty Lite or Burnett’s. 

After spending some time at home and drinking some classy wine and craft beer with your family (if you are 21 of course) you decide you are just too good for Natty and Burnett’s. I mean, what are you, a peasant? But, when you return to the Hilltop and take a look at the balance in your bank account you remember that you are indeed a peasant and quickly return to everyone’s drink of choice–whatever is cheapest.

I will do the readings for all my classes.

You coasted through the fall semester without doing the majority of the readings for the majority of your classes convinced you were gonna ace the class only to find a not so pleasant surprise on your final grade report. You think, “I probably should have done all those readings,” and you promise yourself this semester will be different. That is until you have to read 300 pages for tomorrow and its 11 pm all you have accomplished is taking one buzzed quick to find out what character from The Office you are based on your zodiac sign.

I am going to spend less money. 

Last semester you spent a little more than you should have, but this semester that is going to change. Who needs to eat out when you have Leo’s? Who needs to Uber when you can walk? Who needs Corona when you can have Natty? Oh wait…you do.

In all honesty, 4E wishes you all the best with your New Year’s resolutions. Lord knows we all need it.

Photos/gifs: giphy.com

Holidays and Hurling: A Guide to Your Hangovers

HangoverIt’s safe to say that the last month has been a whirlwind. The end of Thanksgiving break, all those formals, finals, finally coming home all in the holiday season, Christmas and New Year’s Eve has been a lot to handle. Amidst all the chaos, however, you probably still had time to go out and have fun with your friends. One or two nights (or maybe even all of them, if you’re ambitious) between that first study day and your first final probably looked something like this:You probably had an unbelievable night dressed as some holiday-related getup and posted the most basic picture of all time on Instagram. Meanwhile, you might have woken up the morning after and looked something like this:The mad rush to finish the fall semester ~with a bang~ included formals, sweaty Henle parties, trips to Chi Di, trips to Piano Bar (after getting rejected by Chi Di) and just relaxing evenings at Booey’s with friends. Most, if not all, of these experiences had you feeling down in the dumps the next morning or even later that night.

However, the holiday season has taught us at 4E that not all hangovers are the same. Maybe you woke up with just a slight headache one morning, but then the next morning you woke up feeling like death and slightly sick from all the Quick Pita food you had at 3 AM. So while 4E once told you how to survive those day-afters, I have composed a guide to classify what type of hangover you might be feeling as part of the Sunday Scaries.

  1. The Classic Beer Hangover– You wake up with nothing more than a pounding headache and the warm, delightful taste of Natty Light (read: you also smell like this, which makes you feel slightly queasy). This type of hangover probably came from a trip to Booey’s or the aforementioned sweaty Henle party. You’ll typically experience this throughout your time at Georgetown. The positive side of this experience? An easy remedy is to pop a few Advil and head to Leo’s.
  2. Death by Burnett’s– The other side to a typical party: a handle of some flavor of Burnett’s being passed around. Although you know this never ends well, you decide to go with the flow and deal with the consequences later. You wake up feeling ill. You feel sick and achy, but you manage to get up, clean yourself up, and then head out for the day. If you head to Leo’s brunch, this hangover is sure to be a thing of the past.
  3. The Aftereffects of Various Alcohols– The pregame started at 10 and you lasted until 2 AM. You had it all: beer, Burnett’s, some sort of juice and a sip of water at Epi (because that helps with the hangover, right?). Rumor has it there were even a few ~special~ ingredients in the jungle juice you had at that Vil B. Combining the aspects of the last two hangovers, your hangover makes you feel like death. Even after a shower, Advil and eating  the best of Leo’s brunch leaves you feeling hollow and just not your best. Unfortunately, the only way to get through this is to wait it out; by the end of the day, you’ll feel well enough to go out again and repeat the process.
  4. Post-Blackout-Mortem– Similar to the previous topic, you drank a hodgepodge of everything. You went from apartment to apartment to bar to bar, and made the most of every stop. Although you can only remember so much of it, you know you drank a lot since you wake up in the same clothes with some sort of orange liquid staining the front of said clothes. Is it a drink from last night or…? You don’t want to know, and you probably won’t find out unless your friend shows you the pictures that you wish didn’t exist. In the meantime, you focus on getting out of bed, because you can only think about one thing right now and even that takes every ounce of strength. Let’s just say that brushing your teeth, which is supposed to feel good, turns into a nightmare.
  5. Continuing Drunkenness– You wake up NOT HUNGOVER and feel like you’re on top of the world. You congratulate yourself on a job well done and figure what you can do next time to repeat the experience. As you begin to ponder this, however, your head starts to slightly throb until it feels like you’re being repeatedly thrown down the Lau steps. You start to feel sick and realize that your hangover is starting later than expected. Why? Because you were still drunk when you woke up. Although this may seem concerning, have no fear! Your options include accepting defeat or you could just keep it going! Either way you’re going to have a rough day. Nevertheless, you push forward.
  6. …Not Hungover?– Against all odds, you wake up truly not hungover and go about your day per usual. Either you didn’t drink that much or it’s just your lucky day. Although this is rare, it does happen. If it happens to you, congratulations! You can only go downhill from here.

So readers, take this as a guide for when you’re feeling under the weather on those Saturday/Sunday mornings of 2017. Happy New Year and, most importantly, stay responsible!

Photos/gifs: giphy.com, viralchakra.com