What to Do After Getting Rejected from Piano Bar

After everyone’s favorite grimy bar got raided a few too many times and decided to be a whole lot pickier about who they let in, a lot of underage Georgetown students are left wondering – what next? Where else can I spend my Wednesday nights partying? Is there another spot I can flock to on a typical dead Georgetown Friday night? While no one has come up with a perfect solution yet, here are 4E’s 7 alternatives to Piano Bar.

  1. If you’re still looking to go out and have a good time, try Chi Di! What’s one rejection when you can have two in one night? Have you gotten a little too comfortable with your fake? Definitely give it a go despite multiple texts reporting cops surrounding the club.
  2. A rejection from Chi Di not enough to kill your party mood? The next move is a random club in downtown DC. You’re guaranteed to meet people almost twice your age, and if you wait in line long enough, you might even get to realize that Ultra is not nearly as large as they make it out to be. 
  3. However, if you’re a homebody and trying to stay near campus, why not try CVS on Wisconsin? I’m not kidding; this place is a goldmine. They have everything from snacks, to makeup, to Donald Trump shot glasses!
  4. Why not make it an early night at Epi? Sometimes Epi is more lit than the party (or in this case, Piano) itself. You’re guaranteed to see at least one person you know (and you know you wanted that quesadilla more than you wanted to be sweating it out on the dirty dance floor of Piano anyway).
  5. If you’re the typical Georgetown student who likes to talk about how much work they have, but never actually does it, why not spend the extra time studying? I hear (but don’t know from personal experience) Lau is open 24 hours a day. You can probably get some quality work done, considering your of age peers will be enjoying the bar you couldn’t get into. 
  6. Go to bed. Literally every single time I ask someone how they’re doing, they say tired. Instead of taking laps around Piano and waiting for the bartender to notice you until 2 AM, why not get some quality sleep in? Maybe the next day you won’t have to ban your roommate from drying her hair so that you can nap (sorry, Chiara!). 
  7. Stay in! Why risk it? It’s much safer to be caught partying by your RA than by the police. Grab some friends and have a good old sleepover filled with rounds of “Never Have I Ever” and “Truth or Dare.” I promise you’ll learn more about them that way than shouting over Piano’s sometimes cringey, sometimes decent music. These are just a few ideas for what you can do after being rejected from Piano, but feel free to explore other alternatives. Whatever you decide, 4E hopes you stay safe out there in this newly dangerous Georgetown bubble.

Gifs: giphy.com

The Five Stages of Getting Written Up

In the wise words of Hannah Montana, “Nobody’s perfect.” This timeless adage is particularly true for Georgetown students. Sometimes we make a little too much noise, have a little too much fun and get a little too lit. And sometimes we get caught. For those have been written up, you know exactly what I am talking about. For those who have not, this is what you can expect:

  1. Caught in the Act- Perhaps you were blasting “Closer” a little too loud during quiet hours, or maybe you were caught roaming the halls of New South with an illicit beverage (which 4E in no way supports if you are under 21). Whatever you were doing, you were likely not supposed to be doing it. You know it, and more importantly the RA knows it. Whether you get a knock on the door or you get stopped in the hallway, you better cooperate because God knows there’s no way out of this one.
  2. The Wait- The RA takes down your information and tells you to expect an email from the Judicial Council. What she does not tell you is that it will not come for approximately three weeks. This excessive time period is racked with questions, doubts and uncertainties. What will they charge me with? Will I be expelled? Will this affect my housing points? Was this all possibly some sick joke?
  3. The Meeting- You finally receive the long awaited email accompanied with several charges-a number of which definitely did not happen. You are told to report to the McCarthy Library where you will essentially sell your soul to a community director and, for some reason unbeknownst to you, that kid in your calc class. Get ready to bring out the tears, you’re gonna need them.
  4. The Wait Part 2- You finish the meeting and they tell you to expect another email in a week. A WEEK? I mean seriously, how long does it take? I swear they do this for dramatic effect. Just rip off the band aid people.
  5. Punishment- Your fate has arrived. You find out you only actually received half of the charges you were initially charged with (#blessed), but you also learn you have to take an online course, pay a 50 dollar fee and complete several hours of sanctioned service hours. 4E will ~cash you ousside~ picking up trash in the Georgetown neighborhood for the next two weeks!

While we here at 4E hope this never happens to you,  we are glad we have prepared you for this trying process. May the odds be ever in your favor.

Photos/gifs: giphy.com

15 Extreme Things to Give Up This Lent

Lent is here and you know what that means: the classic forfeit of chocolate, the avoidance of french fries and the (unpromising) theory of exercising more often.

Chalk it up to one word? Boring!

Instead of the old, dull suggestions of the past, why not try some innovative ideas that call for real sacrifice? Here are some of our proposals:

1. Give up peeling bananas.

Sound hard to you? Exactly. How are you going to open it? A friend? A knife? Are you going to avoid bananas the entire Lenten season? Let us know.

2. Give up smiling awkwardly at people you sort-of know when you walk past them.

I know it’s hard, but that’s the point of Lent. Keep a straight face, avoid eye contact or run away! Whatever is easiest, really.

3. Give up opening your mouth when you laugh.

      Chuckle softly, or not at all!

4. Give up wearing socks.

Whether you opt for sandals or challenge yourself with sneakers, this will definitely keep you on your toes. (Get it?!)

5. Give up eye contact altogether. 

      Shyly bat your lashes toward the ground to let people know you’re avoiding eye contact. They should catch on pretty quickly!

6. Give up all candy flavors except for grape. 

    Relish in the incredibly medicine-like taste of grape, a feeling you won’t know you can stand until you are forced to.

7. Give up sleep between the hours of 3:15a.m. and 4:45a.m.

    Set an alarm and keep your body constantly alert to change!

8. Give up contacts, glasses or any other aids to your vision. 

    Whether you’re mildly impaired or actually blind, this is a challenge to not only you but the people around you!

9. Give up the use of your hands. 

      Pick up items with the strength of your toes if you have dropped something. Otherwise, kindly ask an acquaintance to do literally everything for you!

10. Give up Piano Bar. 

      Hmm…too soon?

11. Give up stopping for pedestrians.

      Got a car? Make a point! Though dangerous, this Lenten promise will really challenge you!

12. Give up the letter “E.”

    Paprs, -mails, and prtty much any tchnological communication may b slightly mor difficult, but if you put your mind to it, you can do anything!

13. Give up the temperatures between 70 and 78 degrees. 

    Often the comfortable temperatures for a generally cold person, give up familiarity and either shiver or sweat yourself to sleep!

14. Give up opening doors.

    Trying to get out of your classroom? Let someone else help you out. Trying to get into a car? Just let that Uber driver know you need his assistance. How about a way out of your dorm room? Kick it down like Jack Bauer or loudly cry until a concerned neighbor comes to your aid.

15. Give up turning left. 

Live on the wild side and avoiding turning left at all costs. It’ll hurt your brain and annoy your friends, but it’s sure to keep you occupied during Lent!

Gifs: giphy.com

How to Prepare for Spring Break

Spring! Break! Spring! Break!

Maybe you love Georgetown more than life itself. Is your phone background a super original picture of Healy Hall? Did you finally learn the words to the fight song and now find too many opportunities to ask your friends what time it is? Has a majority of your wardrobe been purchased at the bookstore? Have you Instagram-ed a pic with the caption “37th and hOme”? Regardless of how much you bleed blue and gray, 4E bets you’re feeling a bit overdue for a break from the Hilltop.

Whether your plans for break include getting as burnt tan as possible, exercising those #JesuitValues and going on a service trip, or spending seven days straight in a bed that isn’t lofted and approximately three feet wide, here are some tips for how to prepare for the (hopefully not too wild) week ahead:

1. Email the professors who seem to have forgotten that Georgetown gives its students a spring break.

Pull up that angry email draft that you (hopefully don’t) have lying around waiting for your professor who plans on giving a midterm the Tuesday after spring break. While writing haikus about photosynthesis is DEFINITELY more important than providing medical services in Honduras, hopefully your professor will make an exception to extent the deadline just this once.

2. Make that last pilgrimage to Leo’s.

Realizing that you will be away from your beloved Leo O’Donovan’s for an entire week is almost making you have second thoughts about heading to Cancun with your girlfriends. Use all of your meal swipes this week to mitigate the understandable Leo’s separation anxiety that you’re having. Money not spent at Tombs this week is money spent on refreshing beverages (read: lemonade) next week.

3. Power Pose to bring your confidence to full beam!

Gwen Stefani GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

You haven’t been following a “nothing but cucumbers” diet? Leo’s vegan brownies are too good to pass up? You live in close proximity to ~8,000 other people and want to spare the Georgetown community from your hangry wrath? Spring break dieting (and dieting in general) is dumb? 4E is in FULL support of this line of thought. Some reminders: bikini + body = bikini body, beauty is within and your worth is wholly dependent on whether or not you have been featured on @hoyas_eatin_naners.

4. Wrangle all of your favorite, polyester triangles (triangls?)!

Will you actually be swimming? Are your spring break outfits Mom ApprovedTM? Maybe … not. Regardless, be sure to throw more sunscreen than you think you need into your suitcase along with that tangle of swimwear.

5. Packing is a skill that, as a college student, you must master.

If your travels are taking you to that underrated place called home, don’t forget to stuff your winter coat, sweaters and Bean Boots into that suitcase. With this incredible 75 degree weather that we’re having (in February), you shouldn’t be needing them anytime soon. Also, you do not want to have to navigate through the Reagan security line in May wearing the five layers of clothing that wouldn’t fit into your suitcases.

Enjoy your well-deserved break! Have fun, make good decisions, and don’t make those Instagram captions too cheesy.

We’ll see ya in a week, John Carroll!

Images: giphy.com

The Seven Stages of Weekend Drinking Regret

We all at some point in our college careers, whether once or twice, or every week, experience the Seven Stages of Weekend Drinking Regret. Here at 4E, we put together a step by step guide, complete with informational gifs, to help you better understand your fluctuating feelings of  weekend regret.

1. Sunday: Self-disgust

You wake up Sunday morning feeling crusty and like absolute trash. Your brain is in a haze and you enter a period of self-loathing and overall unproductivity. The two reliable constants of the day are the constant pounding in your head and your repeated mutterings of “Why did I take that last tequila shot?”

2. Monday: Mild Productivity

You may feel some twangs of post-hangover and regret, but you can get some work done. You attend classes and begin to look at assignments but you’re not 100 percent yourself yet.

3. Tuesday: Totally You

You’re feeling yourself. You’re getting work done, feeling on top of your game. This is the upward swing, the peak of the week. You might even be contemplating going to yoga and starting a juice cleanse.

4. Wednesday: Willpower Waning

It’s Hump Day! The week seems to stretch on forever. A couple of your girlfriends are having a wine night. One glass won’t hurt, right? You only have a 9 a.m. But no, you hold out until at least Thursday.

5. Thursday: Thirsty Thoughts

The week sucked. You got a C on that paper you thought you killed. Your roommate broke your blender and now all you want to do is cool off and have a beer. You casually sip on one brewsky because you’re not in the MSB and you have class on Friday.

6. Friday: Freedom

The week is over! You can’t wait to get drinks with friends before heading out for a night of dancing. You can’t even remember your regrets from last Sunday. Who was that loser? Let’s take a shot!

7. Saturday: Sipping Something

This morning you woke up with a hangover, but it’s okay. You’re sleeping until noon, going to brunch, then planning on going out to that new bar anyways. You’ll just sip the hangover away. This is when you enter peak denial phase, as you try to reason away that 10-page paper you have to wake up tomorrow and write!


Sunday: and repeat.


Disclaimer: The seven stages were created based on expert advice from 21-year-old, very legal friends.

Images/gifs: giphy.com, greatist.com

Dating App Profile Picture Guide

Did Valentine’s Day remind you of your single status? Did it spur you to re-download Tinder? Or prompt you to give Bumble a try? If so, then the members of 4E feel your heart-throbbing pain and we’ve created a Dating App Profile Picture Guide that will have all the cuties swiping right into your heart.

1. No mirror selfies.


You have friends. Find them. Have them take your picture because to be honest that mirror flash is hurting everyone’s eyes.

2. Do not submit to the subdivision of mirror selfie: The Muscle Flash.


Why is you shirt off? Why is your shirt half on? Are you getting dressed? Looks like we are all confused. Let’s at least have a conversation before you start taking off your clothes.

3. Have a picture with friends.


It can be a picture with one friend, a group of friends, paid or bribed friends. It can even be a full on awkward group photoshoot on a couch in front of a fountain. Just let the world know that you are not a psycho.

4. Have at least one picture of just you.


Don’t hide yourself in a sea of friends. Believe it or not, people actually want to be able to identify who they are swiping right on.

5. Smile.


I know! Shocker! But seriously, a genuine smile is way more #fresh and #cool than a deep soul searching scowl.

6. Express your interest.


Do you like to ride bikes? Go hiking? Play basketball? See daylight? Express that! Change it up with some active pictures to let people know you do occasionally leave your house.

7.  Avoid old exes in pictures.


Is that your sister? Your ex? Over-touchy cousin? It’s best to just not confuse all of us.

8. Have more than one picture.


You should probably have more than one picture of yourself. Unless, you believe in soul-theft through photography, in which case you should probably avoid technology altogether.

9. Include a dog.


You can never go wrong with a cute dog cuddle pic. In fact, the more dogs the better.

Photos/gifs: giphy.com

Word Wednesday: So Extra

What is that word that I’ve been hearing oh so much, that kids are just spitting out lately? Oh, yes: “extra” or better yet, “so extra.”  My trusty source, Urban Dictionary, defines “extra” as “over the top, excessive, dramatic behavior.” Now I realize why the cool kids are using this word in excess because it seems like everyone these days is just SO EXTRA!

If you still need some help figuring out how and when to use this vernacular, 4E has laid out some prime examples. The following images are just so extra.

Cee Lo Green at the Grammys. 

Yeah, this is so extra.

Beyonce’s pregnancy announcement

We love you, but so extra.

Lady Gaga jumping onto the stage at the Super Bowl Halftime Show

She killed it, but so extra.

Kim K. taking selfies while Khloe goes to jail

Such a classic and so extra.

4E hopes that another edition of Word Wednesday has helped you become a little bit more cool and maybe even a bit more EXTRA.

Sources: usweekly.com, urbandictionary.com, giphy.com

Four Ways to Spice Up Your Valentine’s Day

There are many painful realities of growing up. At a certain point, you are expected to make your own doctors’ appointments, have a Linkedin profile, pay for the Christmas presents that you are giving, proofread your own emails and put someone other than your mom down as your emergency contact. One of the most regrettable hallmarks of ~adulthood~ is the point at which Valentine’s Day goes from being a lovely holiday where you exchange candy with each of your fellow third grade classmates, to a day of overrated expectations

(Not to mention the societal expectation that you have one singular valentine, which means that you are only receiving candy from ONE person… Who decided this was the norm?)

While the prospect of Valentine’s Day is typically met with groans, chocolate and wine have gone on sale at CVS and this opportunity must be capitalized on, regardless of your relationship status. Whether your valentine is your wife of 50 years, your dog, your BFF, your serious boyfriendTM, or (treat) yourself, 4E is here to help you show the important people in your life how much they mean to you.

1. Bake a cake

I HIGHLY recommend putting your love into homemade, edible, frosted form. Impress your beloved with your ability to maneuver a questionable common room kitchen. Judge whether or not your Tinder date is truly a “match” by how compatible your cake preferences are!

*If they think that red velvet is clothing material, call GUPD asap*

Frost out a romantic haiku to let a special someone on the Hilltop know how you feel. Take away: baking is a fast and foolproof way to just about anyone’s heart.

2. Sing a Taylor Swift song

T-Swizzle’s canon of relationship woes has plenty of material for all relationship statuses. What better way to celebrate your favorite mushy-gushy holiday than whipping out some T. Swift circa-2008 hits? Maybe you have a relationship serious enough to merit a re-enactment of the “You Belong with Me” music video. Or maybe you and your gal-entines are belting out “Teardrops on My Guitar” in between sips of rosé. Thank you, Taylor, for providing us with this kind of versatility.

3. Go out to eat

4E prohibits any semblance of a Leo’s date on February 14th. Nothing says “I love you” like taking a break from the meal plan together. Good news: as good as Leo’s Chicken Finger Thursday is, the bar has been set low. As long as you’ve made reservations, it’s hard to go wrong here. Whether you’re going to be proposing at 1789, or you and your best friend plan on ordering all of the Good Stuff milkshakes together, good food is  a power move.

4. Steal the Hope diamond

We live in Washington D.C., people! You have the Smithsonian Natural History Museum at your disposal and little blue boxes can’t compete with Countess Mona von Bismarck’s sapphire necklace. Perfect gift for your history buff S.O., but maybe not so perfect for your Intro to Ethics crush who’s a proponent of altruism.

Gifs: giphy.com

Takeaways From a Semester at Georgetown

Congratulations! You made it through first semester (barely). But now you’ve returned wiser, crazier, somehow smarter and definitely fatter! This is what I’ve learned after my first semester of freshman year. Let’s go.

1. Clubs aren’t as big of a deal as they were first semester. If you don’t get into the clubs you want this semester, it’s honestly okay. You have friends now :’)


2. Ask a friend from MSB to print out that paper for you. We basically have unlimited printing. There’s no way we can use all 1,500 pages in a single semester.


3. There’s a method to falling asleep in class. Basically, after you meet eyes with the professor after dozing off, master this face for as long as possible:

4. Take every opportunity to explore and get involved in D.C. First semester is already over and before we know it, this year will be gone. College is short, so savor it.


5. There’s a bus to Safeway in front of Darnall that leaves every 20 minutes after 2 PM. You do not have to walk there.

I repeat:

You do not have to walk there.

6. If you haven’t stolen anything from Leo’s, you’re doing Georgetown wrong. Mugs, forks, spoons, 15 bananas, the panini press–whatever it is, take it. Except the waffle maker. Don’t ruin everyone’s day.

7. You will never stop running into that one specific hookup. It’s a given.

8. Your philosophy class probably sounds something like this:


9. On Thursdays in MSB, there are free bagels, juice, and coffee around 10 AM. Go and grab one, even if you’re not in MSB; it’s scheming time.

10. Time to hit the gym this time around!

And that’s it folks. We got this.

Photos/gifs: giphy.com

Georgetown Buildings and the Hoyas You Find in Them

Welcome back to the Hilltop, Hoyas! With the first full weeks of classes upon us, you are likely still navigating your way to new buildings and classes, trying to get the hang of your new schedule. From debatably fictitious buildings like Maguire (pro-tip: it’s connected to Healy), to St. Mary’s – located even farther away than Darnall, to the labyrinth affectionately known as the ICC, to spaces within buildings that have their own designations (Sellinger Lounge?) – Georgetown seems to pride itself on the complexity of its campus layout. Alongside simply figuring out where your classes are and how you can get to them, you should also know the secrets required to assimilate into each building’s culture. Fear not—4E presents you with a quick analysis of the types of people that characterize some of the most popular buildings on campus.

Regents Hall

If the students around you look like they spent the night here, it is probably because they did. The aesthetic is pants, long sleeves, and closed-toe shoes, easily accessorized with lab goggles and a white coat. Lab chic, amiright? Safety is beauty. You know that you are in the right place if you are overhearing an excessive number of acronyms and words that may or may not be in the English language. Looking to fit in? Tell someone that you spent the afternoon doing a lab involving <insert long and complicated made-up word> acid.

Buzzwords: Erlenmeyer flask, formal lab report, pipette, preliminary plan of action, fume hood.

The ICC

Making their way around one of Georgetown’s most iconic and confusing buildings are Bill Clinton-esque prodigies, people whispering to themselves in languages other than English and an understandably large number of people who are utterly lost. You will likely come across some upshot nice students engaged in a heated argument with a PhD-armed professor who is kindly indulging their arrogant interesting ideas.

Buzzwords: proficiency test, pro-seminar, Map of Modern World, and an excessive number of acronyms that are oddly pronounced as words (STIA [stee-yah], IPEC [eye-peck], IPOL [eye-pole], IECO [echo???]) so as to fool all of us common folk not in the SFS [ess-effffffffU-ess].

MSB

You will feel immediately self-conscious upon entering the looming home of the infamous MSBros (and betches!). Surrounded by suit-clad students, you are well aware that you should have worn something other than your go-to cozy Lau-fit for class. Is one’s understanding of “Business Casual” attire considered in the business school admissions process? Very likely, yes.

While you may have been “shhh-ed” merely upon entering the MSB and your new MSBuds might be a little intimidating, don’t worry – underneath their layers of unnecessary dress clothes, the Georgetown MSB-ers tend to be friendly and dependable.

Buzzwords: finance (pronounced: “fen-ants”), interest rates, money and internship.

Reiss

Upon first glance, the inhabitants of Reiss may seem a little downtrodden: under-eye bags are all the rage, the parade in and out of large pre-med lectures appears slightly ominous and students are carting around textbooks large enough to justify foregoing weightlifting at Yates. However, look a little further and you’ll see students passionately gesticulating to each other to explain cool biological processes. You may even find new friends in the peaceful science-nerd oasis commonly known as the Blommer Research Library. Under Reiss’s crumbling (and questionably earthquake safe) façade is a group of passionate, dedicated and proudly nerdy individuals.

Buzzwords: pre-med prereq.’s, Born-Haber Cycle, R-group interactions, electronegativity, proof and lecture-capture.

Car Barn

The designation “CBN” on student schedules is sure to elicit groans as Car Barn is a full FOUR minutes farther than any other location on our ENORMOUS campus (sarcasm aside, I am groaning along with you all).

There are two primary types of Hoyas to be found in the infamous Car Barn. The first category of students is there for Einstein Bagel’s. A large number of students might be observed double-fisting bagels, eager to use a meal swipe at Einstein’s and substitute a bagel AND a smoothie for Leo’s questionable scrambled eggs.

The second group of Hoyas is involved in a Study Abroad program. You will find students excitingly chattering about their experiences studying or plans to study in exotic locations. My personal theory is that the Office of Global Education chose their Car Barn location knowing full well that students who recently spent time on the other side of the globe think nothing of walking a few blocks off of campus.

Buzzwords: strawberry-banana smoothie, “toasted, please,” language requirement and study proposal form.

Photos/gifs: giphy.com