8 Underrated Animated Characters

With everyone talking about the premiere of Incredibles 2, I can’t help but wonder if it’ll beat the iconic original film. Edna Mode’s quirky yet relatable character? The memorable yet slightly overused line: “Where’s my super suit?!” Samuel L. Jackson in cartoon form? Need I say more?

Yet despite the hype of the upcoming sequel, the original Incredibles has been slept on. For 14 years. With this in mind, here are some more ~fabulous~ animated characters who have also failed to gain the recognition they deserve:

1. Kronk (Emperor’s New Groove)

Who doesn’t appreciate this friendly giant, who not only PULLS THE LEVER, but also can cook some delicious spinach puffs and fondue. Though he is a loyal evil assistant, let’s not forget the little devil and angel that appear on Kronk’s shoulders every time he faces a moral dilemma. Or his ability to communicate with animals (specifically squirrels).

Fun Fact: There’s apparently a show dedicated to Kronk called “Kronk’s New Groove”. Although I’ve never watched it, I’m glad the TV community is paying respect to the real star.

2. Shego (Kim Possible)

If you didn’t have a childhood crush on this super villain, you’re lying. Hot-tempered, sarcastic, and slightly offensive, she’s not much different than the typical SFS student who is accused of having a ‘light’ core curriculum. In addition, Shego is voiced by Nicole Sullivan, who not only was in Meet the Robinsons, but also came in second place on the show Worst Cooks in America: Celebrity Edition.

3. Gill (Finding Nemo)

Leader of the Tank Gang, Gill seems intimidating at first, but you soon come to love his integrity and the sacrifices he makes for Nemo. Also Gill means “mucus” in Polish. #TheMoreYouKnow #BilingualReaccsOnly

4. David (Lilo & Stitch)

As Nani once wrote in her diary, David not only has fancy hair, but also has a nice butt. He supports Nani despite being friendzoned multiple times AND is an amazing surfer– what more could you possibly want in a modern Disney prince?

5. Danny Phantom (Danny Phantom)

Black hair and blue eyes. Need I say more?

6. DW (Arthur)

By far, the most SAVAGE character in animated history, and she doesn’t even know how to read yet. Probably one of the most annoying sisters I’ve ever witnessed, I can’t help but laugh at all the Arthur memes that have starred her in the past year. Did you know the voice of D.W. is actually a boy? Actually, boys plural (6 male actors alternated voicing Arthur’s little sister).

7. Mushu (Mulan)

Who can forget his intro where he just magically arises from the ground in a cloud of red glittery smoke? Personally, I don’t think Mulan would be the icon she is without Mushu’s help; after all, he made her breakfast before her training session and was the best personal cheerleader of all time. Also, he’s a little lizard with fire powers. That’s pretty cool.

8. Chip Skylark (Fairly OddParents)

How can someone who sings about dental hygiene be so universally loved? 10-year-old me and current 19-year old me lives for his single gold piercing and ~swaggy~ dance moves. Let’s not forget that Chip Skylark is also secretly poor and a super humble guy. Not exactly your typical MSBro.

Alas, these are only a few of the animated characters who have long deserved the clout that has mistakenly been given to overrated characters like the Minions from Despicable Me (why are there THREE movies about them?) or the snowman from Frozen.

The members of 4E highly suggest you watch Incredibles 2, that is, if you want to stay ~cinematically cultured~.

Sources: giphy.com, youtube.com

A Guide to Move-Out Day

You are DONE. Finally. This finals season was the worst one in recent memory, but don’t get too comfortable just yet: You still have Move-Out Day. Though not quite as bad as the infamous Move-In Day, it’s still pretty unpleasant. So whether you’re bidding farewell to Harbin or Henle, 4E has got you covered with a step-by-step guide on what to do to make moving out a little less stressful.

1. Hide the Evidence

We know it’s been a while since you’ve interacted with them, but remember, your parents still think you go to Dahlgren Chapel on Sundays — and I am willing to bet that the current state of your room does not lend much support to that idea. So, before your beloved mom and/or dad show up to kindly help you move out, be sure to dispose of all remaining alcohol containers, “controversial” posters and anything you may have acquired from the H*yas for Choice table throughout the year. Move-Out Day is stressful enough as is; don’t make it any worse by having to awkwardly explain to your parents what a “Juul” is and why you currently have one sitting on your desk.

2. Attempt to Clean

Look around: You’ve been living in a literal cesspool for months. Forget romaine lettuce; it’s honestly a miracle that this place didn’t kill you. Every surface is inexplicably sticky. Your floor is covered in crushed Utz chips, empty Chick-Fil-A sauce cups and the remains of that Wingo’s order you dropped on Georgetown Day. At some point during the year, your trashcan became an amorphous “trash corner,” and now you’re really paying the price. Grab some Lysol wipes, rent a vacuum from the nearest RHO and get to work. We all know it won’t really make that much of a difference, but we also know that University President John J. DeGioia isn’t going to spend any of his Tulip money on tackling the campus rodent problem this summer, so a few minutes of tidying up is the least you can do for the sake of next year’s residents.

3. “Pack”

By “pack,” we really mean lie down on your bed and scroll through Instagram while your roommate or mom does most of the work involved in actually packing. If you have a minute to spare between figuring out what’s been going on with the whole Khloe/Tristan situation and getting caught up on whatever that Walmart-yodeling kid is doing these days, you can maybe put some folders in a box or throw some clothes into a backpack. These damn millennials! Lol amirite @EveryoneOverTheAgeofForty?? #lol #juul #relatable #PleasePayMeToWriteAnOpEdAboutThisHipTopic

4. Stress-Cry and/or Get Into an Argument With Your Mom

This is inevitable. Tensions are running high. No one involved in this process is in a good state of mind. You’re exhausted from having to take that “Problem of God” final, and your mom is exhausted from having to put up with you for the past two decades. Something as simple as taking the sheets off your bed or looking for a missing shoe can quickly escalate into complete pandemonium. Godspeed.

5. Say Goodbye

Even though your living space was absolutely disgusting, and you spent the last two weeks exclusively stress-crying in this place, it’s still sad to look around and see it look so empty. You had some good times in [insert residence hall name here]. So, goodbye, rats! Goodbye, black mold! Goodbye, neighbors who blared their terrible “Mr. Brightside”-themed playlist on a never-ending loop for an entire semester. You will be missed.

Gif/photo sources: giphy.com, housingwire.com

Cries for Help: Carvings in Lau Cubicles

As a nearly 230-year-old institution, Georgetown is host to secrets that current students can hardly fathom.

Hopefully no basilisks tho 🐍 #snakesofgeorgetown

Some of these secrets date back to the school’s founding. Messages etched by early students into the stone walls of Healy, White-Gravenor and Dahlgren — “Thou art fairer than a principled Jesuit,” “Thy perfume sweetens the scent of the stankiest Leo’s dish return,” etc. — have faded over time.

Actual footage of the Healy clock ringing every 15 minutes.

However, contemporary graffiti is alive and well in some of the newer and more utilized buildings on campus. Most anonymous messages, in fact, are located in none other than Lauinger Library, a hotspot of ~brutal~ nervous breakdowns on campus.

Lauinger? I barely know her.

Please join me as I reveal the most honest and repulsive thoughts of Georgetown students: those scrawled on the inside of Lau cubicles and Walsh restrooms in desperate acts of self-expression.

Me as I plumb Lau’s dusty depths. Also, if you don’t know what movie this gif is from, I can’t be friends with you.

Georgetown Confessions

It’s amazing that the president found time to helicopter over to Georgetown and vandalize our library! Spelling errors aside, this is 100% a rule to live by. #FightAgainstTheCapitalistCorp

This was found covering approximately 4 feet of vertical space on the lower level of Lau. I mean … say it loud, say it proud??? 😳🤷🏻‍♀️

Breaking down gender barriers one act of vandalism at a time.

You’ve got to admit, coming out and claiming the Walsh fourth floor women’s bathroom as one of your favorite spots on campus is a bold move. Kudos to this brave soul.

Slackademia

This one is honestly too relevant right now. I love how this ~poet~ backed up some linguistics major’s revelation with a quintessentially Georgetown story of academic humiliation.

4E was tipped off that this one was drawn by a struggling freshman who started their “Problem of God” paper the night before it was due and realized that they were supposed to “conduct a survey.” Yikes.

Quarter-Life Crises

If Lana Del Rey went to Georgetown, these would be the lyrics to her No. 1 song. FYI, if unlike this songwriter, the middle stall in the Walsh third floor bathroom isn’t really your vibe, check out these other spots on campus where you can bawl your eyes out.

This picture illustrates what happens when SFSers get too into their Neo-Sovietism class and then realize that they have to make themselves marketable to consulting firms for summer internships.

Classic Georgetown Elitism

Okay, Brock, that’s only because your dad donated a swimming pool there! Get off your high horse, please.

I mean… George Washington probably would have been a Hoya. #justsayin

Hoyas Reveal Their Ugly Side

This statement is unacceptable. Georgetown students are practically defined by their constant belittlement of campus dining and love for mainstream hip-hop. Do better, Hoyas.

Now that you’ve seen some of the innermost thoughts of Georgetown students, I encourage you to look around the next time you’re struggling to write a paper in Lau at 2 a.m. You may find inspiring messages, crude drawings or desperate cries for help.

Either way, the notes left behind by past Hoyas are an important part of Georgetown’s history that current students can and should bond over.

Did you know that Ben Gates holds a degree in American history from Georgetown? #NotableAlum

Best of luck with finals, everyone! Keep scribblin’ away.

Note: I’d like to apologize to all of the people I weirded out while sneaking around Lau and Walsh taking pictures.

Sources: Giphy, Facebook (Georgetown Memes for Non-Conforming Jesuit Teens)

The Very Best of D.C. TV

Get #hype, Hoyas, because Hollywood is coming to Georgetown! Kind of.

On April 17th, Joshua Malina and Bradley Whitford, former stars of the television classic The West Wing, will be making an appearance in Gaston Hall to record a podcast about what it was like to work with someone as handsome as Rob Lowe on the set of an ~iconic~ political drama. For many of you, I know this is a BFD (s/o Joe Biden) because Josh Lyman was, like, 90% of the reason you decided to pursue a PoliSci degree.  For those of you who are less familiar, The West Wing was that show you had to watch in high school when your AP Gov teacher didn’t feel like doing a real class that day. So whether you’re old a longtime fan or a relative newcomer, it’s sure to be a good time and you should definitely stop by!

And in the meantime, we thought this would be the perfect opportunity to review the very best of what D.C.-themed television has to offer. Look no further for an insightful and comprehensive guide to the pros and cons of the shows that qualify as true #DCTV.

Bonus: Watching any of the following shows is a great way to pretend like you’ve  left the Georgetown Bubble this semester without all the inconvenience of actually figuring out how to use the Metro!

Me, trying to blend in when I venture beyond the corner of M and Wisconsin

 

The West Wing (1999-2005)

Pros:

  • Allows us to believe that extremely beautiful and smart people like Rob Lowe and Allison Janney would willingly choose to live in D.C. and work for a government salary. Optimistic!
God I miss the 90s
  • The West Wing on The West Wing is lead by a rational, intelligent, and not-morally-bankrupt President. Martin Sheen does not attempt to build a wall or have an affair with an adult film actress at any point in this show. Wholesome!
  • The President’s daughter (Elisabeth Moss) is a Hoya. They even film a graduation scene on campus at one point. Fun!

Cons:

  • Show creator and head writer Aaron Sorkin went to Syracuse. Yikes…
  • Has apparently convinced a generation of Georgetown undergrads that they physically and/or intellectually resemble Rob Lowe’s character. Inaccurate!
When some guy compares himself to Sam Seaborn

Scandal (2012-2018)

Pros:

  • Olivia Pope (Kerry Washington) attended Georgetown Law!
  • Makes working in D.C. seem cool and sexy, rather than sweaty and soul-crushing.
D.C. every day from May through September. Also, every class I’ve ever had in Walsh.
  • Brenda Song was a character on the show for a hot minute
  • Shonda Rhimes. Enough said.

Cons:

  • If I ever saw someone even half as beautiful or stylish as Kerry Washington walking around D.C., I would go into cardiac arrest. Extremely misleading portrayal of life here.
When some girl compares herself to Olivia Pope
  • The camera-snapping noise that plays between scenes. Irritating.
  • A lot of crossover between Grey’s Anatomy characters. Distracting. What is Meredith’s dad doing in the White House??

House of Cards (2013- present)

Pros:

  • Robin Wright. Nothing but respect for MY President.
When the professor finally tells that guy in your discussion section who claims to read The Economist and prefaces all his sentences with phrases like “just to play Devil’s Advocate here…” that he needs to stop talking and give other people a chance
  • That scene where Kate Mara gets pushed in front of the Metro is my primary reason for spending so much money on Ubers. Thanks for letting me justify my laziness by citing safety concerns!

Cons:

  • Kevin Spacey. Gross. Wya, Christopher Plummer??
@netflix, make the final season a musical while you’re at it #HireJulieAndrewsToo
  • Depressing and dark content. But not in a fun, Black Mirror way.
  • No important characters attended Georgetown. Sad!

Madam Secretary (2014- present)

Pros:

  • I have never actually seen this show, but the Wikipedia page is very  informative.
  • The husband of the main character (Madam Secretary) teaches at Georgetown! I am now picturing him as a Kroenig lookalike. Please let me know if this is accurate.

Cons:

  • When I started writing this article I guess I thought that Madam Secretary and The Good Wife were the same thing, and I was only going to write about it because I remembered that Big from Sex and the City is the main character’s husband on The Good Wife. I was very disappointed to find out that I confused the plots of these two vaguely-Hillary-Clinton-inspired TV dramas. Big from Sex and the City has yet to make an appearance on this show. Poor casting choice.
Me, upon realizing Madam Secretary’s husband is actually portrayed by someone named Tim Daly

Veep (2012- present)

  • Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Iconic actress, amazing human being, and one of the rare women who could actually pull off a perm back in the day.
  • Buster from Arrested Development. 
Me, any time Tony Hale is on screen
  • Mean, but in a witty and fun way. It’s like The Office, but if all the characters were as comically narcissistic and rude as Jim. (See: my future article on how Jim Halpert is actually a terrible person).

Cons:

  • Need an HBO account to watch it. Fellow Hoyas, please help a girl out and email 4E with your account password ASAP. I promise I need it for article research purposes and not just to binge watch Sex and the City.
  • One time on a plane I tried to watch an episode over the shoulder of the guy sitting next to me. He saw me and turned the screen away. If you’re reading this, rude stranger, please email 4E with a formal apology. I had clearly forgotten to bring my own earbuds, the GoGo internet access didn’t work, and that flight was like five hours long. You could have shown some compassion.
Dramatic reenactment of me and the rude Veep fan

So there you have it, Hoyas. A complete and objective guide to television shows about ~The District~. Coming up next week: a guide to the very best of New York-themed TV (Spoiler: Sex and the City is featured very prominently). 

Gif/Photo Source: giphy.com, pinterest.com

Queer Eye: Beyond Reality TV

Listen up people — there’s a new show in town. Out of all of the quasi-reality television that we have proudly consumed in our lifetimes, “Queer Eye has been the most earth-shattering, jaw-dropping, mind-blowing, uplifting, barrier-crossing, awe-inspiring thing that we here at 4E have ever seen.

If you’re looking for some politically-conscious-yet-mindless-content, this is the show for you.

Ever wondered what would happen if five gay men traveled around Georgia (that’s the state, @SFSers) fixing ~sadbois~?

The answer is glorious. This show has everything: makeovers, drama, love, friendship, tears, wine and even redneck margaritas.

In all seriousness, “Queer Eye” aims to cross the political, racial, and social boundaries that have been dividing our country as of late.

Before you start watching, let us tell you how, why, and to what extent the “Fab 5” will change your life.

1. Karamo: “Culture Expert”/Life Coach

In addition to being impeccably groomed, Karamo gives you all the tools you need to reach inside yourself, find that inner worth and show it to the world #LetThatLittleLightShine.

Karamo was a social worker for 10 years, serving LGBTQ youth throughout the South. Now he is helping out an equally needy and oft-overlooked population: sad, aging men.

This man is the soul of the show. Karamo is always there at the pivotal moments, ensuring that the men have been made over, both inside and out.

Favorite Moment: Episode 3, “Dega Don’t”

Karamo and Cory’s drive back from Atlanta. You’ll understand once you see it.

2. Bobby: “Design Expert”/Home Improvement Wizard

An underappreciated talent, Bobby takes the sadbois’ dingy mancaves and transforms them into livable, ~lit~ homes. He’s constantly on the go, perfecting spaces in a blur of hot pink shorts and dazzling platinum hair.

Watch as he reduces grown men to tears with the mere words “marble countertop.”

Favorite Moment: Episode 5, “Camp Rules”

Bobby’s gardening sesh with Bobby Camp: the seeds of a beautiful friendship are sown.

3. Jonathan: “Grooming Expert”/Yass Kween

The fan favorite of QE, Jonathan’s starring turn as the show’s beauty guru has already led to the creation of a whole new lexicon of iconic sayings, including “Can you believe?” and “Strugs to func.”

Jonathan embraces everyone’s beauty, turning ugly ducklings into majestic, sexy, well-groomed swans.

We cannot get enough of this man. Please, please adopt us.

Favorite Moment: ALL OF THEM!

There are literally so many, we could not choose just one favorite moment.

4. Tan: “Fashion Expert”/Patterned Shirt Aficionado

Tan is the ultimate sweetheart. Though he is, without a doubt, a fashion expert, Tan knows that the key to style is feeling good about yourself inside and out. This quote says it all: “Style is not fashion. Fashion is not trendy after a season. I couldn’t give a sh*t about fashion. Style is dressing the way that you feel confident, and what is appropriate for you, your age [and] body type.”

Favorite Moment: Episode 2, “Saving Sasquatch”

The moment when Tan and Neal bond over their cultural similarities.

5. Antoni: “Food & Wine Expert”/Eye Candy

Ugh, where to start? Antoni is living proof that you can cook up a mean grilled cheese for one and still be bougie af #CollegeInspiration.

Not to mention: I really didn’t think that “supreming” a grapefruit could be sexy but alas, I was wrong.

By the end of the season, we think you’ll agree that Antoni’s feelings about avocados = OUR feelings about him ;).

Favorite Moment: Episode 6, “The Renaissance of Remington”

Antoni making mac n’ cheese with Remy’s mom will make your heart melt like a hunk of cheddar on a hot griddle. This boy knows how to woo a mama.

*swoons*

Now that you’ve met the Fab 5, we hope you take their advice to heart and become the best you that you can be. “Queer Eye” is the show of a modern America, one nation under Fab, all together.

 Whether you’re black, white, straight, gay, or however you identify, “Queer Eye” is here for us all.

So what are you waiting for? Pretend to sexile your roommate, snuggle up under those blankies, open Netflix, and start watching.

*curtsies*

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, netflix.com, 

Georgetown Is Getting a New Beer Hall!

Finally, some good news that doesn’t involve rats in our favorite dining establishments nor our dilapidated on-campus housing is gracing our school. The Georgetown neighborhood is getting a brand-new bar in the form of Church Hall, which is slated to open at 1070 Wisconsin Ave NW this Friday!

Though Piano Bar, Chi Di and The Tombs have all had their fair shares of the limelight, we’ve all truly been craving a new spot in our Georgetown bubble. And while there are other similar establishments around D.C. like Penn Social, Church Hall, which is a Penn Quarter hangout spot from the same proprietors as Penn Social, promises to be a special place, and 4E is here to tell you why.

  1. Monday to Friday 4 to 7 p.m. happy hours. Sounds really happy to me! With essentially all drafts, wines, and rail drinks for $2, this place is giving Mai Thai a run for its money on their delicious yet probably overpriced pitchers.

    4 to 7***
  2. Gin and tonic. On draft. They say G&Ts are an acquired taste, and I feel like if they’re on draft I just may acquire a taste for them.
  3. Boozy slushies. Need I say more?
  4. 28 Beers on draft. Even all of the craft beer snobs should be able to find something that suits their taste at this place. And if not, the beers rotate regularly, so there will surely be an opportunity for everyone.
  5. A prime location near M Street.  Within the bubble, there aren’t too many options for going out. Without having to trek to AdMo or U Street, we like the idea of another option nearby campus.
  6. An opportunity to relive study abroad. For all those who attended Oktoberfest or Springfest, you know how satisfying lederhosen and a stein of your favorite brew can be. We just needed the right atmosphere to relive this memory.
  7. Another option. Because sometimes, you just get tired of the weekly Tombs-ChiDi-AdMo rotation.

See those of you (21+, of course) there!

Photos/GIFS: giphy.com, chicagofoodmagazine.com

What’s A Boya?

All Hoya ladies know that, like rats and out-of-order bathroom stalls, f–kboys abound on the Hilltop.

See Snakes of Georgetown to learn about GU’s most prevalent demographic.

The mixture of confidence, political-mindedness and neurosis within Georgetown men is a veritable Molotov cocktail of personality traits, which can be triggered to explode by both academic debate and debauched social gatherings.

Before you accuse me of misandry, a disclaimer: #NotAllMen.

Especially not Armie Hammer and his spectacular dance moves.

Some guys at Georgetown are absolute diamonds — ladies, if you find them, hold on tight. However, some Hoya boys (henceforth known as “Boyas”) are still in a little more of a “coal” phase.

Donald Trump attempting to dig up an alibi, 2017 (colorized).

Love them or hate them — and usually it’s a confusing mixture of both —  Boyas are a group to watch.

Since 2018 is sure to be another year of, like, realizing stuff, please consult this guide to educate yourself on how to spot a Boya, both at a distance and up close.

Side note: Welcome to the world, Stormi!

Without further ado:

1. When he uses the Jesuit values to justify late-night booty calls.

2. If his room has a distinctly “fiscally conservative, socially liberal” aesthetic.

Romney 2012 poster, Vineyard Vines blanket and GUASFCU mug = red flags.

3. When he asks you for your NetID.

Okay, maybe you’re doing a group project together, but ladies, we all know what this guy wants. Sliding into your Gmail is the ~ultimate~ Boya move.

4. If every time you text him “what’s up?” he replies, “at Yates 💪🚨💯.”

Boyas be #gettin #those #gains.

5. If he wears his Patagucci like it’s a uniform.

6. When Chad is the name and ghosting is the game.

 ✌ out.

7. If his party attitude can best be described as “hit it and quit it.”

In conclusion: don’t play yourself.

Patrick Ewing knows what’s up.

Best of luck, ladies! Stay vigilant.

Sources: giphy.com, popkey.com, free-stock-illustration.com

4E’s Weekly Horoscope

Mercury is entering retrograde. Are you ready? Find out below in 4E’s weekly horoscope.

Aries

It it is your time to shine, Aries. Although Mercury is entering retrograde, it won’t stop you in your zodiac season. This week you will embark on a treasure hunt of passion and connection. Be prepared this weekend, as the stars will align and someone special will enter your sphere of love!

Taurus

Stubborn Taurus will run into trouble this week as Mercury will create interpersonal conflict with those you most care about. Try to endure and boast your strong skills in patience. This week may not be your best but fear not — good times are on the horizon.

Every taurus rn

Gemini

Gemini, you have had a tough couple weeks, but it’s time to let loose and have some fun! Shed your nervous skin, as Mercury will usher in a new period of blooming friendships and romance for you. Keep an eye out for that special someone this Saturday!

Cancer

Sensitive moon child, it is time to let go. You have not been able to shake the past, but retrograde marks a fresh start for you. Throw away your insecurities and suspicions; they only bring negative energy. Be social, work hard and have fun this weekend. A big surprise awaits you on Friday!

Leo

I hope your bags are packed, because this week commences a journey of spiritual and physical discovery. Take time to think about the past and envision the future you desire. Your stubborn, inflexible side will be challenged as retrograde presents some complications along the way, but such is life!

Virgo

This week is all about you, Virgo! Take time for self care and personal reflection. This Thursday, you will be tempted to return to bad habits — be cautious. Your strength on Thursday will be rewarded on Saturday with a night of friendship.

Libra

Child of Venus! After months of reflection, it’s time to show everyone why you’re led by the goddess of beauty! If you’re confident and keep a positive attitude, you shall surely reap the rewards. This week’s retrograde will bring up feelings of the past. Be careful, Libra — dwelling for too long can revert all the progress you’ve made. 

Scorpio

Control is key, Scorpio. With retrograde swirling your emotions into a frenzy for the next few weeks, you will need to keep your cool. This time of chaos can be difficult for you, as it disrupts routines. Just think positively, and keep those hotheaded emotions in check! I fear an emotional blowup ahead if you cannot keep the passion to a minimum. 

Sagittarius 

Look forward to flexing those sociable skills, adventurous one! This week may be your time to shine, Sagittarius. Despite the retrograde, you stay strong in times of uncertainty. Embrace this radiating energy — others will find you irresistible, so be on the look our for similarly irresistible new partners. You will be successful in romantic endeavors. 

Capricorn

Play time is over, Capricorn! After weeks of fun, you need to bring your focus back to self-betterment. Instead of painting the town red on a night out, Netflix and chill alone instead! With the communication chaos of this week’s upcoming retrograde, try mending your most important relationship — with yourself.

Aquarius

Be ready to be tested, Aquarius! As a sociable sign, I know it’s disappointing to hear there are academic and professional challenges ahead. Don’t expect any straight A’s or pay raises — you’ll have to put in work first. Stay grounded, and study up!

Pisces

It is a bittersweet week, Pisces! The season of your sign is over. Keep note of your finances; after getting all that birthday money, you should spend it wisely. You’ve been a bit casual with your finances lately, and there’s no need to take this into the retrograde.  Keep note of any other financial opportunities this week, Pisces. 

Children of the universe, that’s all the stars have for us for now! See you next week!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, i.ytimg.com

St. Paddy’s Day Party Ideas

St. Patrick’s Day is this weekend, which means it’s one of those rare times when Georgetown students finally have some fun. There’s nothing better than putting on that one green shirt  you never wear and eating and drinking as much as you possibly can. But for those people who are tired of the traditional St. Paddy’s Day celebration, here are some ideas to spice up your party this weekend.

St. Natty’s Day

What combines St. Paddy’s Day and college more than having a party where you only drink Natty Lights? Who cares that it’s not an Irish beer? We’re in the United States anyway.

St. Fratty’s Day

Just pretend Georgetown has a large Greek life presence on campus and throw a frat party complete with beer pong, bros and backwards hats. So frat!

St. Daddy’s Day

This party can go two ways. You can throw down with everyone’s biological father or celebrate with your real ~daddy~ ;).

St. Caddy’s Day

Time to bring out the Vineyard Vines and polo shirts, and turn your Henle into Georgetown’s most lit and most exclusive country club.

St. Ratty’s Day

This one is for all the important rats in our lives. We can officially party in celebration of the Wisey’s Rat™. Chicken Madnesses for everyone!

Happy St. Paddy’s Day, Hoyas!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, qrznow.com

March Madness Advice

It’s official: March Madness is upon us. I’m told by some alumni that there was once a time when the Georgetown basketball team was part of this tournament, but much like the stories of the days when students allegedly “went to games” and “could name a player on the team,” I’m pretty sure this is just a rumor. Regardless, we here at 4E (AKA the ~real~ sports section of The Hoya) have come up with some helpful advice for building that perfect bracket.

When you see that Syracuse somehow made it in

Consider Picking Schools That Have Jack-Like Mascots

The real tragedy of us missing the tournament is that the world will be deprived of seeing our beloved Jack the Bulldog ride his skateboard or drive his car around the court. But luckily, March Madness will still have some canine representation. Here are some possible picks you should consider based on their potential for adorableness:

Gonzaga Bulldogs:

Their “dog” is named Spike. It’s just a guy in a suit. No actual dog. Disappointing. 2/10.

Butler Bulldogs:

Their dog is named Blue. He’s no Jack, but at least he’s an actual dog. Overall, pretty cute. Nice smile. Would definitely pet. 7/10.

UMBC (University of Maryland, Baltimore County) Retrievers:

The dog is named “True Grit”. Creative choice. Unclear if the mascot is “officially” just a guy in a suit, but according to Google Images, they seem to frequently have a plethora of live retrievers present at many events. I endorse this. Reminds me of Air Bud. 9/10.

      

 

Stay Away From the Big East

As many of you may know, many of the other teams in the Big East were very mean to the Hoyas this season. They often (very rudely) chose to score a lot of points and also frequently prevented us from scoring some points of our own. Very inconsiderate! Karma will not be kind to them in the tournament — stay away!

When someone says Villanova is going to win it all this year

Also, Providence has this horrifying mascot. We can’t pick them knowing this thing will be there.

It’s gonna be a no for me, dawg

Remember Your Jesuit Values

The Arizona State Sun Devils? The Duke Blue Devils? Not today, Satan! These squads are clearly trying to tempt you into straying from your Jesuit values. March Madness is no time for such sinful endeavors, my fellow men and women for others. We suggest you play it safe and stick with the Penn Quakers — based on what little information I remember from my sixth-grade social studies class  my extensive research, Quakers and Jesuits are essentially the same thing.

Also, remember that Penn once kindly took Ivanka off our hands, further proving their charitable nature (#NotMyFirstDaughter #WhyIsGeorgetownAssociatedWithSoManyTrumpChildren #TiffanyActuallySeemsOkThough). With all this in mind, Penn is pretty much a surefire pick for the Final Four.

When God sees you filling out your bracket

Don’t Pick Michigan State.

This one may seem both arbitrary and contrary to popular opinion, but remember this: current star player and probable future lottery pick Jaren Jackson Jr. chose Michigan State over Georgetown. Yes, way back in 2016, the highly touted recruit included Georgetown among his final five school choices and then somehow didn’t pick us. Wyd Jaren?? Didn’t the tour guides tell you about new Leo’s? Were you not impressed by Lau? Did the rats scare you off??

Whatever the reason, to quote the internship rejection emails I keep getting, we’ve unfortunately “decided to go in a different direction” on this one and cannot recommend that our readers pick Michigan State. And if you’re reading this, Jaren Jackson Jr., please consider forgoing your lucrative NBA career in favor of transferring to the Hilltop next year. Patrick Ewing is really cool and some students will probably show up at a home game at some point. Also, we have a Chick-Fil-A now!

Bet you thought all my advice was going to be based solely on mascots, didn’t you? #insightful

And finally….

Do Not Pick Syracuse

Enough said.

We hope you have fun this month, and remember: next year will be better! We look forward to seeing you all at the Arena Formerly Known as the Verizon Center for the one game you’ll attend before leaving early to go to Rocket Bar.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, pinterest.com, golfdigest.com, kentuckysportsradio.com