While a fair number of VIPs have walked these hallowed halls (I sometimes daydream about running into Bradley Cooper in the dish return at Leo’s), with a 16% acceptance rate, it’s hard to “catch ‘em all.”
I still cringe…
Once you’ve figured out what famous Hoya you are, come take a break from procrastinating for finals reality with me and imagine what clubs your favorite celebs would be in if they had sported the good ol’ blue and gray.
*wipes away tear*
The Kardashians – Thirty-Seventh
We all know that these gals enjoy the finer things in life. I can’t attest to their academic aspirations, but I have a good feeling that if Kardashoyans existed, they would be major contributors to Georgetown’s premier lifestyle and fashion blog. #Yeezys #For #All
If you stop reading 4E, Kim will be mad.
Emma Watson – Blue and Gray
This is the friend that you want to hate but can’t because they’re just too nice. Smart, beautiful, vaguely international—they make Georgetown look damn good. You may resent this pal’s borderline *magical* talents, but you have to admit that this kid is going places.
A typical Georgetown know-it-all.
Mark Ruffalo – The Corp
To all my Ruffalovers out there, this one’s for you. This Bernie Bro can sport a knit fleece like no other, and will engage you in a long-winded discussion on conspiracy theories if you so much as whisper the words “inside job.” Can’t you imagine the man behind The Hulk, once dubbed a “sentient farmer’s market,” serving you your double shot of espresso at Midnight MUG with a crinkly, good-natured smile? We know we can.
That woven bracelet tho :-O
Ivanka Trump – GUASFCU
The First Daughter was a student in the MSB for two years before transferring to Penn (*cough* complicit). Her penchant for fancy shoes and ambiguous business buzz-words would make her a prime candidate for Georgetown’s most prestigious financial association.
If you don’t sleep in a suit, are you really an MSBro?
Zac Efron – GUGS
The High School Musical and Neighbors star is truly a man of the people. For this reason, he’d be a member of one of Georgetown’s most accepting clubs, flipping delicious meat spheres burgers for the masses on Friday afternoons. *sings We’re All In This Together with added enthusiasm*
If only Georgetown had real frats…
Stay warm, people. If Bradley Cooper made it through finals, so can we.
Despite being 3 months into a school year that has graced us with new Leo’s and a NUG, we still have no new SaxaNet. Maybe this is a cry for help or just an attempt to make sure that we live in a constant state of stress, but one thing is for sure: 4E is here to remind you of all of the things better than our current SaxaNet!
1 . GuestNet.
2. Wisey’s Rat. A cultural icon.
3. NUG (New Uncommon Grounds).
4. Being swerved by Patrick Ewing for a selfie.
5. A closed Quick Pita #neverforget #foreverinourhearts.
6. Sleeping on the ground, waiting for a speaker while it rains (HRC event last year I’m looking at you).
7. The VW Bus in Leo’s.
9. Just getting up to the Vill A rooftops as the parties are being shut down.
10. Meek Mill getting arrested before Hoya Madness.
11. The President DeGioia Fathead on Vil A.
12. The lines at Whisk at 9 am.
13. Chik-Fil-A closing at 7 pm on a weeknight.
14. Class in St. Mary’s and then in Walsh 15 minutes later.
15. Drinking with your parents.
16. The 2008 Leo’s norovirus outbreak.
17. Walking up the Regents stairs.
18. Rain during the Farmer’s Market.
19. Rats scurrying across your path on the way to Lau 2.
20. The lack of soy milk AND a working blender at Midnight MUG.
If you haven’t heard, Blake Shelton was recently named the Sexiest Man Alive. We here at 4E are unsure if it’s just us, or if everyone else also has trouble seeing what People Magazine and Gwen Stefani see (look below for reference).
To try and get some perspective on this confusing choice, here’s a list of 15 people we think are sexier than Blake Shelton:
The pizza in the above gif
The Wisey’s Rat
Jack the Bulldog
Josh Peck (pre-not inviting Drake Bell to his wedding)
Amanda Bynes in “She’s the Man”
The Dad from “Drake and Josh”
Jack the Bulldog on a skateboard
Kim Kim (we still miss you on the panini press)
Todd Olson in full convocation garb
We at 4E simply cannot fathom how none of these fine options preceded Blake Shelton. People Magazine, we urge you to take into account this definitive list before choosing your ~Sexiest Man Alive~ next year.
You’ve just awoken on a Saturday morning from a night you care not to remember. You head downstairs to your kitchen, and lo and behold, someone left you some ~gifts~ you didn’t expect — Burnett’s, your favorite pal!
Beyond excited to have ended up with only the best and most delicious drink to grace our campus, you suddenly realize it’s not what you expected. You got the reject flavors.
While Burnett’s is known for creating wild nights, but it should be more well-known for some of the ridiculous flavors the people who want to end Earth as we know it its creators have chosen to produce over the years.
Those flops are unfortunately the ones your oh-so-generous friends left behind for you, but all is not lost! 4E is here to help you make the best of the worst and give you suggestions on how to keep the debauchery going.
Here’s our advice on how to consume:
Cucumber Lime. It’s Corona and Lime for a reason. Nobody ever asked for this. Cucumber and lime classically go with gin, so this is just a meager, failed attempt to reinvent the laws of mixology. If you’ve ever smelled the stench from a stinkbug, it’s not so different from the way this flavor smells. Unfortunately, the only way to use this up is by covering up the taste in some sort of extreme jungle juice, where you can almost mask the flavor in your sorrows the taste of off-brand soda and random alcohols you found in the back of your fridge.
Maple Syrup. Aunt Jemima didn’t die for your sins so you could disrespect her delicious syrup by infusing it into an off-brand vodka. To be honest, this is like the Mrs. Butterworth’s of vodka: You simply are conditioned from birth to look down upon it and anyone that consumes it. If you’re ever ~low~ enough to actually buy this, you’ve hit rock bottom. However, this flavor is golden for a boozy brunch. Pour some into your syrup to get things started up for Homecoming or Georgetown Day — the more, the merrier.
Pumpkin Spice. It may be ~PSL SZN~, but that by no means justifies this atrocious flavor. There are some things that simply don’t go together, and pumpkin and vodka happen to be two of these things. If you ~need~ to find a way to rid yourself of pumpkin spice Burnett’s, there is only one way — mix it with other alcohol. Since it’s such a unique flavor, no sodas or other traditional chasers are going to work, so mix equal parts Burnett’s and Rumchata or Baileys, depending on your preference. Serve chilled as shots or a festive cocktail.
Orange. Just call GERMS right now. I’m 100% convinced that this actually isn’t vodka but rather Mr. Clean Orange Floor Cleaner. There is simply no way this stuff is suitable for human consumption — which is tough to believe since citrus Burnett’s theoretically should be similar but is exponentially better. In any case, you definitely want to mix this with fruit juice. Try mixing 1-part Burnett’s to 1-part cranberry juice to 1-part Triple Sec to 2-parts orange juice for a floor-cleaning take on a margarita!
Limeade. Lime is definitely not the worst flavor, but take Burnett’s Lime, add green food coloring and a bit of Windex, and you have Burnett’s Limeade! This flavor is pretty hard to come by nowadays, and that’s definitely okay by us at 4E. In any case, you’re definitely going to want to stick with citrus. This mixes decently well with lemonade (disclaimer: this is a drink, not a song by Beyoncé). You’ll probably want to forget you went so low as to purchase green vodka, so try 3-parts Burnett’s to 2-parts lemonade. Throw some colored sugar on the rim just to be ~fancy~, and there you have it!
While they’re nothing like Citrus or Pink Lemonade, let’s hope that these ideas will help you stay lit get your creative juices flowing!
As the holiday season draws near, Hoyas are gladly anticipating a break from their usual Leo’s meals—but at what cost? Here’s 4E’s rundown of the six types of relatives that we all just ~can’t wait~to reunite with over this Thanksgiving dinner…
1. The Interrogative Relationship Guru
“Do you have a boyfriend? That’s too bad! What about the cute boy in your Instagram post?”
First of all, Grandma, he’s gay. Undeterred, she offers up her very best date ideas from “back in the day” as you stifle your laughter at the thought of any MSBro at a drive-in theater. You wonder if the sort of “fine young men” she continually references even exist on the Hilltop.
2. The Millennial Wannabe
Lucky for you, this aunt’s midlife crisis seems to have perfectly aligned with your annual encounter. Having seen your Snapchat story from last Friday, she proposes a “girls’ night out” at Chi Di next weekend. You promptly delete your social media and apply to study abroad.
3. The Deadbeat
Maybe your college life isn’t as wholesome as your grandparents may think, but unlike this cousin, at least you’ll definitely most likely end up with a diploma. You decide that introducing him to your SFS friends might set his life back on track but quickly think better of it. Having him around will make you feel better about yourself when next semester’s club rejection season rolls around.
4. The Diehard Trump Supporter
Tattooed with the U.S. flag and shamelessly sporting a MAGA hat, this uncle finds a way to blame everything on the immigrants—even this year’s burnt turkey. You politely bear the brunt of his incessant rant until he spots the GU College Dems and H*yas For Choice stickers on your laptop, after which he avoids all interaction with you for the rest of the night. Success.
5. The Shy Guy
Exchanging forced pleasantries with this relative is even more uncomfortable than leading a tour group on Georgetown Day. As awkward as the conversation is, though, it’s just like the ICC: you can’t find a way out.
6. The Annual Alcoholic
This relative looks as tipsy as the Wisey’s rat before the turkey’s even carved. She must have mistaken Thanksgiving dinner for a late-night Epi gathering, but at least by tomorrow she’ll forget the night ever happened, and you can equally pretend that it never did.
We at 4E bestow our deepest sympathy and respect upon any Hoya that successful endures a conversation with three or more of these ~special~ relatives. On a serious note, we hope you all enjoy your well-deserved break from school and express thanks for all the family members who’ve supported you from afar (even those who fall under one of these categories)!
As you may have heard, Georgetown’s very own prodigal son is returning home to the Hilltop this week. And as cynical as we usually are here at 4E, this is actually a pretty cool thing. After all, since the events of the past year have forced us to acknowledge that Eric Trump, Steve Bannon, and Paul Manafort are technically alumni, we need to celebrate the Hoyas who didn’t collude with Russia have made a positive impact in the world now more than ever.
But as you prepare to camp outside Gaston to hear his speech, many of you who were born in the late-90s may be asking yourselves, “Who is Bill Clinton?” We know from eavesdropping on Blue and Gray tours that he certainly attended Georgetown, but is he really a Hoya? If he were a student today, would he regularly attend Jersey Night? Would he mourn the loss of Quick Pita? Would he post in the meme group? And more importantly, would his memes be dank? To try to answer some of these pressing questions, we here at 4E briefly skimmed carefully read and took diligent notes on Bill Clinton’s autobiography, My Life, and came to the following conclusion:
Bill Clinton is a true Hoya.
Take a look at our reasoning below:
1. He Loves Wisey’s
The Quote: “At Wisemiller’s Deli, just across Thirty-sixth Street from the Walsh building where I had most of my classes, I got coffee and two donuts for twenty cents every morning”
Our Analysis: Like all good Hoyas, Bill Clinton both loves Wisey’s and eats there way too much. He definitely would have voted for the Hot Chick/Chicken Madness ticket back in the infamous GUSA election of 2016, and is surely a strong supporter of our unofficial school mascot, The Wisey’s Rat™. So the next time you feel guilty about eating Wisey’s cookies for breakfast as you walk in 15 minutes late to your class on the fourth floor of Walsh because the elevator was taking forever, just remember that you will probably grow up to be the President of the United States.
2. He Never Leaves Campus
The Quote: “In my first two years, I rarely ventured beyond the confines of the University and its immediate surroundings”
Our Analysis: For a true Hoya, Burleith is as exotic as it gets. Yes, just like a vast majority of Hoyas, Bill Clinton fell victim to the Georgetown Bubble. And yes, we know D.C. is a world-class city full of renowned food, art, and culture, but the whole Metro system is confusing and not a lot of places take GoCard. True Hoyas stick to complaining about the lack of options at Leo’s and only venture beyond M street once a semester for Instagram-related purposes. Also “immediate surroundings” is definitely code for Chi Di. We’ll see you there on Thursday, Bill. Hopefully you have a good ID though, they’ve been pretty tough this year.
The Quote: “My most memorable class sophomore year was Professor Walter Giles’s U.S. Constitution and Government… By the time I got to his class I had embraced my lifelong affinity for sleep deprivation and had developed the sometimes embarrassing habit of falling asleep for five or ten minutes of class”
Our Analysis: Same, Bill Clinton. Same. Does it even qualify as a Georgetown class if more than half its students are awake at any given time? Whether it’s in a lecture hall, on Healy Lawn, or in the middle of a professor’s office hours (it happened once), falling asleep at inappropriate times is what we Hoyas do best. Honestly, Bill Clinton, props for doing this well in an era before you could try to stay awake by scrolling through memes on Facebook while the professor thinks you’re taking notes. Side note to any of my professors who accidentally clicked on this article: I love your class! Keep up the good work!
4. He Has a Capitol Hill Internship
The Quote: On interning for Arkansas Senator William Fulbright, “It was easy to fit the job into my daily schedule, partly because in junior year only five courses were required instead of six, partly because some classes started as early as 7 a.m.”
Our Analysis: If you hadn’t already guessed, Bill Clinton was in the SFS. This quote confirms it. I can practically hear this quote telling me he’s a STIA major and that he has to go study for MAP. Even today, when Bill Clinton meets new people, I guarantee you that he finds some way to mention the SFS. This guy is a Hoya.
5. He Loves The Tombs
The Quote: “My favorite haunts in Georgetown were the Tombs, a beer hall in a cellar beneath the 1789 restaurant, where most of the students went for beer and burgers”
Our Analysis: Bill Clinton’s Tombs Night was definitely lit. But not too lit, like where you had to call GERMS and the whole night was ruined. It was just the right level of lit, like where everybody danced to “In Da Club” by 50 Cent when the clock hit midnight, and then Bill Clinton got a great Instagram pic of his forehead being stamped by the Tombs bouncer. Every Hoya since John Carrol has made some of their greatest memories at the Tombs. Need we say more?
So there you have it: Bill Clinton is a Georgetown Hoya. Our diligent research has definitively proved it. We hope you all have fun accidentally falling asleep learning a lot at his speech on Monday- and huge props to the team over at #GUPolitics for making this happen! No disrespect to the time you got Martin O’Malley to play his guitar in McShain Lounge, but this is definitely much cooler than that.
Sources: My Life by Bill Clinton, Tombs.com, Facebook.com, giphy.com, Georgetowndc.com, georgetown.edu
As you sip a Natty at a crowded pregame or wait in line for ~another~ Epi Quesadilla, some of you upperclassmen out there might be pondering a timeless question. To help you find answers, we here at 4E have compiled a list of ten things that you can and can’t do after your freshman year. So pause for a moment and ask yourself…
Am I too old for this?
1) Taking a basic picture of Healy Hall. We all did this within our first days on the Hilltop, and, though we cringe at others for snapping the famed clocktower, most still look at Healy in awe.
Verdict: No, but expect some judgement.
2) Going to frat basement parties. Though I have gone on my fair share of SAE Foxfield buses or Zeta Psi booze cruises, frat parties feel increasingly more like events for freshman. Please let my days of partying in a suspiciously wet Sig Ep basement be over. I would take a Piano Bar night filled with only adults over this. Enough is enough. That being said, the frat boys and pledge bros are still wonderful.
Verdict: Probably yes, unless you are in a frat, in which case, please attend your own events.
3) Waiting in the Georgetown Cupcake line. I didn’t even do this as a freshman because WHO HAS THE TIME?? Waiting 40 minutes for a $4 cupcake with too much frosting is never worth it.
Verdict: Yes, go to Baked & Wired instead.
4) Attending Jersey Night or Thursday Chi Di. Does anyone care?
Verdict: see you all there!!!
5) Getting lost on campus. Our campus is literally 1/18 the size of a state school’s, so I’m pretty sure you should know every building after a few months. Specifically, I mean people struggling with Maguire. I don’t understand why this is the specific location no one can find. The Jesuits are judging you!
Verdict: Get a map. Then again, it’s totally fine if we’re talking about the ICC.
6) Drinking Burnett’s. Not everyone is too old for this, but I can say with some certainty, while nursing my current raging hangover, that I should be upgrading beyond the likes of Mango Burnett’s. I am only too old for this in the ~health~ way. Will I give it up? Likely not — I have a budget.
Verdict: Yes, but who cares?
7) Referencing the Georgetown meme page. Judging by my alumni friends who find the meme page hilarious, there’s no harm in still talking about a classic “Everyone from Georgetown lives in New Jersey or Connecticut”.
Verdict: No, keep tagging away.
8) Village A Rooftop Parties. Power to you if you get there before GUPD shuts it down. Nevertheless, it remains a classic spot on Homecoming and Georgetown Day.
Verdict: Yep… it’s never worth it to be honest.
9) Applying to clubs. While the process certainly becomes more cynical as you get older, you should join anything you want at any age. (I hear 4E accepts freshmen to seniors).
Verdict: No, college is about finding yourself and all that #wholesome.
10) ~Hanging out~ in a freshman dorm. Do you!!!!! Just be safe!!!!!!!!!
We at Georgetown have a unique way of doing just about everything. From bragging about being busy, to blowing up our favorite sandwich shop for falling victim to the ~Great Wisey’s Rat Scandal of 2017~, Hoyas have many strange ways. In 4E’s latest exposé, we learned this extends to Tinder. Here are the steps you take as a Hoya when you see a fellow Hilltopper on everyone’s favorite dating app:
Check your mutual friends:This is the most pivotal step. The last thing you want to do is swipe right on someone that you will 100% actually come into ~real-life~ human contact with. That’s not the point of Tinder. If you two have more than 20 mutual friends, you might actually know this person: you had deep, meaningful conversations with met a lot of people during NSO.
Make sure she’s not the girl that sometimes sits next to you during CPS recitation: I know you can’t quite remember what that girl looks like. You know she has brown hair. Wait, maybe she has blond hair? I’m pretty sure her name is Catherine. Or Katie? Caitlyn???? Nah, this isn’t her.
Read her bio:The bio can give you vital clues in your quest to figure out if you know this girl or not. She’s from New Jersey. She’s a Gov major and an Econ minor. She really likes Netflix. She’s so chic just like literally every girl you’ve met since you’ve been here.
Stare at her for another minute: This is the last step in making sure you do not know this girl. It’s always good to squint, and turn your phone brightness all the way up.
Double-triple check that it’s not your biology TA: It could be. You’ve only been to recitation like twice.
Swipe right: You’re now sufficiently positive that you have never met this girl and will probably not meet her in the near future. She’s perfect to swipe right on. I hope you guys match, see each other one night on a Vil A rooftop, and awkwardly not to talk to each other.
La Croix: It can be found in any Georgetown Girl’s refrigerator, but no one really knows how to pronounce it … La Croy? La Cwah? La Crocs? For those of us who love this sparkling beverage, here’s what your preferred flavor says about you.
Pamplemousse and Cran-Raspberry : Although all flavors of La Croix are basic, these two are the worst of them all. You wear Adidas Superstars and Lululemon leggings and drink La Croix to ~rehydrate~ after SoulCycle. You use La Croix as a chaser for your Mango Pineapple Svedka because it’s “healthy.”
Any of the Curate Flavors: You’re really bougie and probably pronounce it “La Cwah.”
Plain: You’re a real hardo. You’d prefer to drink plain water out of your Brita filter but you drink plain La Croix to seem jazzy.
Coconut: Some may say it tastes like a candle, but if you drink Coconut La Croix, you’re the cool kid at the party. You’re super trendy and fun and everyone wants to be your friend (disclaimer: this is my flavor of preference).
Lime: You’re trying to cut back on soda and if you really pretend, it tastes nothing kinda like Sprite.
Peach-Pear: You really like Burnett’s, but since it isn’t socially acceptable to drink on a Tuesday at 1 p.m., Peach-Pear La Croix is the closest you’re going to get.
So, next time you walk around campus with a can of La Croix in hand, just know that the rest of us are judging you.
If the competition to find a ticket were not fierce enough, the competition for the crowning of Mr. Georgetown Class of 2017 promises to be one of the fiercest ever. From its promises of song to dance to talents never before seen in Gaston Hall, this year’s lineup is sure to make the judges’ decision a difficult one.
Will they have you looking like this?
Or like this?
Without further ado, 4E presents your candidates for this year’s Mr. Georgetown Pageant:
Name: Navneet Vishwanathan, Mr. SAS
Hometown: Nanuet, N.Y.
Major: International Economics
What do you love most about your organization? The best thing about SAS is deep cultural involvement and the environment that it builds. SAS really is a home away from home because of how uniquely I’m able to relate to the community and express my heritage and upbringing with similar peers. On top of that, SAS does a great job of extending this to the greater Georgetown community through Rangila and other programs that allow me to share my background with everyone. All that and the food of course, food is the best. Food is good.
If you were to write an autobiography about your life so far, what would the title be? Not a biography, a cookbook. “Big Data, Baseball, and Masala: A guide to spicing up your regression models.”
What is your most beautiful feature? My beard. It’s my most distinguishing feature and TBH is pretty luscious. I shampoo it daily with a pineapple- and lemon-based beard wash with chunks to exfoliate. After that I use a pine-scented balm to tame and moisturize it.
Name: Matthew Amberger, Mr. GUGS
Hometown: Staten Island, N.Y.
What do you love most about your organization? The thing that I love most about GUGS is the sense of community that permeates the club. Despite members having such varying backgrounds and career paths, we all share the common bond of loving barbecuing and eating delicious food.
What is your favorite meme in the Georgetown meme page? My favorite meme in the Georgetown meme page was the one that was actually directed at GUGS. It was at a time when it was popular to send a DM to any club/business asking something that people really didn’t know the answer to. In this case, it asked, “Why are our burgers so round?” I found this to be so funny because we get asked this question all of the time, and while the answer is obvious to our members, we realize our burgers definitely aren’t “normal.” The real answer to the question is that we are required to serve our burgers well-done, so by having them rolled into a ball, they can stay juicy while still being a full meal.
If you were to write an autobiography about your life so far, what would the title be? The autobiography title would be “Yes, but Without the H.” I can’t count the amount of times that I’ve introduced myself and people thought my last name was actually hamburger. To be fair, for the past three years I’ve been in a club dedicated to making burgers, so it’s very fitting, but this funny interaction has been around since I was in kindergarten. While many things have changed since the first time it happened, this little joke has been one of the few constants in my life.
Name: Austin Rose, Mr. Club Soccer
Hometown: Frederick, Md.
What do you love most about your organization? Soccer has always been an important part of my life, and I love getting to play with a great group of guys at Georgetown. Admittedly, I peaked in my middle school rec league, but I still like to get out there to stretch my legs for a solid 10 minutes before returning to the bench.
What is your favorite meme in the Georgetown meme page? The “send nukes” meme. I really respect Jawad for actually sending the message to professor Kroenig, and I think such healthy dialogue between a progressive student and an outspoken neocon represents what Georgetown is all about.
If you were to write an autobiography about your life so far what would the title be? “The Chronicles of Yeah Boiiii.” I’m a very upbeat and enthusiastic person, and every once and a while I like to let out a big old “Yeah Boiiii” when I’m feeling high on life. I also really identify with the Yeah Boiii Youtube legend, and have been practicing for years to emulate his tone and endurance.
Name: Ari Goldstein, Mr. JSA
Hometown: San Francisco, Calif.
What do you love most about your organization? I love how good JSA is at including and celebrating the diversity that exists within Georgetown’s Jewish community. Some Hoyas identify as cultural Jews, some as religious Jews, others as spiritual Jews, and still others as political Jews or familial Jews, but JSA has always treated this diversity as our strength, fostering a culture of both dialogue and celebration. I actually think that’s no small feat for an organization that’s supposed to represent an entire community. Also, we have monthly brunches with bagels and lox, which is my other favorite thing.
If you were to write an autobiography about your life so far what would the title be? I’d probably call it “National Treasure: Book of Secrets,” for obvious reasons.
Who is your favorite Georgetown alum? Definitely Benjamin Franklin Gates, AKA Nicolas Cage’s character in the “National Treasure” movies. There’s no way he could have stolen the Declaration of Independence without studying American history (and maybe stealing the clock hands?) at Georgetown.
Name: Matt Linz, Mr. Club Swim
Hometown: Randolph, N.J.
What do you love most about your organization? There’s a pretty strong sense of community. It runs the whole spectrum; we all bond for 10 hours driving to Club Swimming Nationals in Atlanta every April, but we also ask each other for feedback on memes.
What is your most beautiful feature? Maybe my sense of humor … but probably my butt. Hopefully that’ll explain itself during the group dance portion of Mr. Georgetown!
Who is your favorite Georgetown alum? Jackie Kennedy Onassis. I love how gracefully she carried herself. I think it’s a little-known fact that she took continuing education classes in American history here. My favorite high school teacher instilled in me a fondness for president and president-adjacent factoids; I have a head full of trivia.
Name: Max Wolfgang Rosner, Mr. Knights of Columbus
Hometown: South Side of Chicago, Ill.
What do you love most about your organization? It’s the only organization — at least that I know of — that works toward social justice and views a sheathed sword as a socially acceptable fashion accessory.
What is your most beautiful feature? My calves. Louis XIV believed a strong, toned, hairy set were the pinnacle of beauty. I got to play the Sun King for a dance performance in my French history course last semester. It was a liberating experience.
Who is your favorite Georgetown alumn? Trevor McLean. (Disclosure: Trevor McLean is a judge for Mr. Georgetown 2017.)
Name: Dan Fain, Mr. Ultimate Frisbee
Hometown: Madison, Wis.
What do you love most about your organization? I love that for four hours every week I get to practice with my best friends and forget about everything else going on in my life.
What is your most beautiful feature? My calves. Fourteen years of Irish dance have sculpted them well.
Who is your favorite Georgetown alum? Preston B. Whitmore. It’s hard to beat someone who rediscovered the lost city of Atlantis.
Name: Tyler Kranawetter, Mr. GIVES
Hometown: Laguna Hills, Calif.
What do you love most about your organization? I love the inclusive atmosphere of friends GIVES creates. Anyone can join and be my friend, and I’m always desperate for more friends.
What is your most beautiful feature? My blue eyes because my parents both have brown, so I am genetically very lucky I ended up with them.
Name: Ben Costanza, Mr. Phantoms
Hometown: Rochester, N.Y.
What do you love most about your organization?As a musical style, a cappella is incredibly unique, as it promotes both individualism and community. Each person is responsible to have a complete mastery of his or her own part; however, that part is meaningless by itself. Only when sung with those of the other group members does it gain true value — and become art. Regarding the Phantoms specifically, we sing “Like a Prayer” by Madonna sometimes, and that’s pretty fun.
What is your favorite meme in the Georgetown meme page? This one because it has the least amount of likes, making it the most exclusive and therefore the most valuable.
Who is your favorite Georgetown alum? It’d have to be a three-way tie between Leo O’Donovan (for his hall’s chicken fingers), Antonin Scalia (for his Supreme Court appointment capping off an evolution of the social and political standing of Italian-Americans in the United States), and my friend Ed Crotty (for telling funny jokes).
Name: Cameron Perales, Mr. APO
Hometown: Laguna Hills, Calif.
Major: History/Classical Studies
What do you love most about your organization? What I love most about APO is that we’re a family of people who are committed to helping others as best we can. Service to others is at the core of what we stand for as an organization, and its truly rewarding to see the impact we can have on our community, and that impact brings us together in a deep and authentic way.
What is your favorite meme in the Georgetown meme page? This one. Why? Because traffic on the 5 and the 405 are a way of life. #WestCoastBestCoast
What is your most beautiful feature? Once my middle school nurse abruptly paused in the middle of talking to me about my broken thumb, held up my entire hand and examined it for a long 30 seconds. After she finished she said with a tinge of jealousy that I have perfect nail buds. So I guess I have that going for me, which is nice.
Name: Danny Frumento, Mr. NSO
Hometown: Valley Stream, N.Y.
What do you love most about your organization? NSO has the ability to shape new students like no other organization on campus can. Someone’s experience in NSO can completely shape the rest of their time at Georgetown. The friends they make and the memories they share will be lifelong, and it was an honor being able to have a hand in impacting so many new students and families’ lives.
What is your favorite meme in the Georgetown meme page? I’m a lonely soul, and sometimes a fella needs some love.
If you were to write an autobiography about your life so far, what would the title be? “It’s Been Downhill From There: A Story of How I Peaked in High School” … because I peaked in high school.
Name: Nick Na, Mr. FOCI
Hometown: Atlanta, Ga.
Major: International Political Economy
What do you love most about your organization? Everybody’s going to probably say “I love my organization because community” or “it’s the people” or maybe they’ll even throw in the casual “cura personalis.” I’m going to be edgy and say I love FOCI for its fo-love for fo-puns because fo-tastic focians are fo-eva using them at all our focials. fofofofofofofofo.
What is your most beautiful feature? I’d have to say my most attractive feature is my big toe. Back in Atlanta, they used to call my toe “biggie smalls” because it’s the biggest of all my small toes. Its sensual curvature and mellifluous scent can even excite old ladies on New Jersey beaches.
If you were to write an autobiography about your life so far, what would the title be? “Pretty Boy Swag.” Self-explanatory.
Name: Max Hartley, Mr. GOLD
Hometown: Cincinnati, Ohio
What do you love most about your organization? GOLD (or Georgetown Opportunities for Leadership Development) is a great organization designed to help young people on campus blossom into well-balanced and capable leaders. What I love most about GOLD is being able to see every person who joins GOLD grow as both a leader and person as well as apply what they learn in their other activities.
What is your favorite meme in the Georgetown meme page? As an RHO worker, I can’t say this is a direct quote from my resume, but what I can say is that working at the RHO has provided me a vast array of both technical and people skills that are unparalleled through any other on-campus experience.
If you were to write an autobiography about your life so far, what would the title be? “Living Life to The Max,” because who wouldn’t want their autobiography to then become a made for TV Disney movie with the movie title already included. I guess I also like having no regrets, but that is strictly secondary.
Name: Jesse McNeill, Mr. Outdoor Ed
Hometown: Chevy Chase, Md.
Major: Environmental Biology
What do you love most about your organization? Chill peeps. Good vibes.
What is your most beautiful feature?I have a 1.7-inch nipple hair. Very impressive.
If you were to write an autobiography about your life so far, what would the title be? “Why Am I Sweating? A Memoir.”
Name: Alex Roberds, Mr. Pep Band
Hometown: St. Louis, Mo.
Major: Regional and Comparative Studies
What do you love most about your organization? I know you’ll get a lot of this, but I love the community that pep band creates for its members. I love being in a group that cares so much about Georgetown, music, and each other.
What is your favorite meme in the Georgetown meme page?It has to be this one. I think most people can relate to this one. I think it could say “three hours later” and it would still work for Georgetown. People are very passionate about their political beliefs, which can lead to some serious (and often entertaining) debates.
What is your most beautiful feature?Definitely my eyes. I’ve never been able to get a consensus on what color my eyes are. I get a variety of answers, most typically blue or green (or both), sometimes hazel and even gray. Regardless of what color they are on any given day, though, you’re certain to get lost in them.
Name: Johnathan Marrow, Mr. Philodemic
Hometown: Princeton, N.J.
What do you love most about your organization? In the Philodemic, we take ideas as seriously as we take people. Anyone can show up and argue on a side of our debate and we’re forced to listen and hear them out, to respond and engage. It’s a tradition we’ve been carrying on for 187 years: It never gets old and it’s always worthwhile. Plus, we dress fancy, have some funny titles, and we’re generally a bunch of radical conformist eccentrics. And I like to talk a lot.
Who is your favorite Georgetown alum? William Gaston, Georgetown’s first-ever student … and first-ever dropout. Also a U.S. congressman. Setting the standards for Hoyas since 1791.
What is your most beautiful feature? My modesty. It’s one of my best qualities ever. No one has better modesty than me.
Name: Larenz Griggs, Mr. BSA
Hometown: Atlanta, Ga.
What do you love most about your organization? I love how proud we are of our identities. Though everyone is different in some kind of way, we’re all one huge family at the end of the day, and that’s hard to come by.
Who is your favorite Georgetown alum? My favorite Georgetown alum is Ettian Scott, because he took me under his wing when I was an underclassman and helped me in numerous ways to maneuver throughout Georgetown. He is one of my closest friends, and we still stay in contact.
What is your most beautiful feature? My most beautiful feature is probably my unapologetically, outgoing/weird personality. Though I’m a student-athlete, most people I meet say I don’t fit the stereotype. I’m extremely silly and love to laugh. I’d also rather watch anime or “Game of Thrones” before watching ESPN. Not to mention, I enjoy poetry slams and going to jazz restaurants.
Name: Brian Bies, Mr. Escape
Hometown: Potomac, Md.
What do you love most about your organization? The people. There’s a story blog campaign on the ESCAPE Facebook page called “Essence of ESCAPE.” It is about sharing the stories, backgrounds, and experiences of the 42 Leaders part of this year’s Leaders (Team 27 Universe). They are relatively short posts, but they better illustrate how inspiring the ESCAPE community is to be a part of: 42 Posts, 42 Awesome Humans! I met my best friend on ESCAPE — ESCAPE brings people from all across campus, regardless of creed, faith or identity; it is wonderful to see the magic of ESCAPE in this way.
Who is your favorite Georgetown alum? I know, “National Treasure” is a movie and “Scandal” is a TV Show, but they epitomize how great Georgetown is: Ben’s love of history, wanting to do something greater than himself (#JesuitValues), and he is portrayed by the iconic Nicolas Cage. Olivia Pope is a badass (no other word for it), as she is passionate and determined: She developed her reputation as the best fixer in D.C. because she accomplishes what no one else can! Who doesn’t want to be like Kerry Washington/Olivia Pope?
What is your most beautiful feature? I just asked one of my housemates/best friend at Georgetown, Daniel Ernst, and he immediately said, “your eyes,” which is funny because I don’t actually know the color of my eyes! Depending on the circumstances, some people will say they are green, and others will say they are brown.
So, whose got your vote? Come out on Nov. 4 to find out who will be crowned ~King~.
Photos Courtesy of Georgetown Program Board; electricalalliance.org