Make Sightseeing Great Again

In these tumultuous times, the District may seem like a less attractive tourist destination. However, if you properly ignore a certain orange presence, you’re sure to enjoy checking out America’s most treasured monuments and museums, which, believe it or not, are still standing after the election!

So, if you’re disheartened and still a little confused by the events of November 8th, 2016 and you have friends coming in from out of town or you’re just looking for a cool museum to explore by yourself (#foreveralone), 4E’s got you covered!

The Gear

The most important aspect of being a D.C. tourist is looking the part. Sure, you go to Georgetown, but you shouldn’t walk into the National Gallery of Art wearing Vineyard Vines if you want to be a real D.C. expert. That’s why 4E recommends purchasing a classy American flag fanny pack for your trips into the center of our nation’s capital. Aside from being stylish, a fanny pack such as the Freedom Fanny Pack with Six-Pack Drink Holder Extension is a convenient option for storing beverages for yourself and whoever’s crazy enough to walk around with you. The fanny pack can be accompanied by American flag leggings or a pet bald eagle.*

*Note: Bald eagles cannot be legally kept as pets in the United States. 4E is in no way encouraging readers to attempt to domesticate bald eagles and thus holds no responsibility for bald eagle attacks. But also, you do you.

The Top 5 Tourist Stops

Washington Monument

The Washington Monument is a 555-foot obelisk built to honor George Washington. Construction of the monument was completed in 1888 and it is to this day the tallest structure in D.C.

Unfortunately, the National Park Service is currently working on the monument’s elevator so the obelisk’s famous viewing deck is currently closed to the public. As the National Park Service is at this moment engaged in a Twitter war with our commander in chief (you just can’t make this stuff up), it seems extremely unlikely that the monument will be open to visitors before its expected completion date of 2019. On the other hand, the Trump presidency’s expected completion date is 2020. We are very much hoping this is a liberal estimate.

National Gallery of Art

Before the National Endowment for the Arts is defunded by our president, it’s worth taking a trip to the National Gallery of Art where you can impress friends and family by pretending to know about art history. Was Picasso the one that cut his ear off? Was Joan Miró a man or a woman? What kind of horrible parents name their child Rembrandt Harmenszoon van Rijn? Don’t worry! Just pull a Kellyanne Conway by making some stuff up and laughing it off if anyone questions you. If you’re really stuck, just yell “alternative fact!” until people forget whatever ridiculous thing you said in the first place.

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue

Just don’t.

This used to be an historic monument but it’s currently being desecrated by an oversized cheeto and his friends.

Even once he’s gone, visiting will be a bit like going into a bathroom stall when someone just came out and said “Hey, I wasn’t feeling so good so you might wanna wait a while before you go in there.”

Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. (Unless you’re a Russian hacker, in which case, pat yourself on the back and go collect your pay before he sues you).

Supreme Court

If you’re a bad hombre or a nasty woman, this stop will be one of your favorites!

Hidden behind the Capitol Building, the Supreme Court is where our country’s most significant judicial decisions are made by nine justices. Well, most of the time it’s nine. It’s kind of complicated at the moment. We won’t get into it. (Love you @merrickgarland)

More importantly, the Supreme Court is the workplace of America’s favorite grandma and 4E’s biggest fan, Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

National Air and Space Museum

For those days when you’ve gotten seven CNN News Alerts about Trump’s executive orders, tweets and absurdly long neckties, and you just feel like you can’t handle living on Earth any longer, put your phone on silent and take a break at the National Air and Space Museum!

This museum has on display the Wright brothers’ plane, the Friendship 7 capsule that John Glenn flew as the first American to orbit Earth and even the Apollo 11 module that was responsible for the moon landing. If you consider the moon landing to be fake news, feel free to skip that part.

If these exhibits still seem a little too close to all our planet’s insanity for your liking, the museum even has an IMAX movie about future travel to Mars. We know moving to Canada seems like a drastic option — after all, even though they have an awesome (*cough cough hot cough cough*) prime minister, Canadians eat snow off the street and apologize for everything. That’s why we recommend exploring the Mars One website (www.mars-one.com) which will tell you all you need to know about being a Mars colonist. You might want to upgrade your fanny pack for that trip though.

Sources: giphy.com, twitter.com, tumblr.com

Dating App Profile Picture Guide

Did Valentine’s Day remind you of your single status? Did it spur you to re-download Tinder? Or prompt you to give Bumble a try? If so, then the members of 4E feel your heart-throbbing pain and we’ve created a Dating App Profile Picture Guide that will have all the cuties swiping right into your heart.

1. No mirror selfies.


You have friends. Find them. Have them take your picture because to be honest that mirror flash is hurting everyone’s eyes.

2. Do not submit to the subdivision of mirror selfie: The Muscle Flash.


Why is you shirt off? Why is your shirt half on? Are you getting dressed? Looks like we are all confused. Let’s at least have a conversation before you start taking off your clothes.

3. Have a picture with friends.


It can be a picture with one friend, a group of friends, paid or bribed friends. It can even be a full on awkward group photoshoot on a couch in front of a fountain. Just let the world know that you are not a psycho.

4. Have at least one picture of just you.


Don’t hide yourself in a sea of friends. Believe it or not, people actually want to be able to identify who they are swiping right on.

5. Smile.


I know! Shocker! But seriously, a genuine smile is way more #fresh and #cool than a deep soul searching scowl.

6. Express your interest.


Do you like to ride bikes? Go hiking? Play basketball? See daylight? Express that! Change it up with some active pictures to let people know you do occasionally leave your house.

7.  Avoid old exes in pictures.


Is that your sister? Your ex? Over-touchy cousin? It’s best to just not confuse all of us.

8. Have more than one picture.


You should probably have more than one picture of yourself. Unless, you believe in soul-theft through photography, in which case you should probably avoid technology altogether.

9. Include a dog.


You can never go wrong with a cute dog cuddle pic. In fact, the more dogs the better.

Photos/gifs: giphy.com

Word Wednesday: So Extra

What is that word that I’ve been hearing oh so much, that kids are just spitting out lately? Oh, yes: “extra” or better yet, “so extra.”  My trusty source, Urban Dictionary, defines “extra” as “over the top, excessive, dramatic behavior.” Now I realize why the cool kids are using this word in excess because it seems like everyone these days is just SO EXTRA!

If you still need some help figuring out how and when to use this vernacular, 4E has laid out some prime examples. The following images are just so extra.

Cee Lo Green at the Grammys. 

Yeah, this is so extra.

Beyonce’s pregnancy announcement

We love you, but so extra.

Lady Gaga jumping onto the stage at the Super Bowl Halftime Show

She killed it, but so extra.

Kim K. taking selfies while Khloe goes to jail

Such a classic and so extra.

4E hopes that another edition of Word Wednesday has helped you become a little bit more cool and maybe even a bit more EXTRA.

Sources: usweekly.com, urbandictionary.com, giphy.com

4E’s Spring 2017 Blog Babies

Every semester, we at The Fourth Edition decide to open our doors to the few whom we think are pretty hilarious. This semester, we took five new, spectacular human beings out of a competitive applicant pool. We can’t wait to see what they accomplish!

Top 3 Moments on Season 21 of The Bachelor

1. When Corinne, age 24, casually discloses that she has a nanny. #FreeRaquel2k17

2. When Alexis (dolphin/shark) jumps into the pool and starts making what I presume are dolphin mating sounds to call out for Nick.

3. When Josephine forces Nick to “lady and tramp” an uncooked hot dog with her.

Top  3 Ways to Get Lost in the ICC

1. You took the stairs. Never take the stairs.

                  2.  You went to office hours. The offices seem to always be full of people and yet does anyone really know where they are?
                  3.  You went to the bathroom. If the stairs are from Hogwarts, the ICC bathrooms are practically closets to Narnia.

 


Top 3 Georgetown Pet Peeves

1. Facilities request.

2. When someone ignores your Venmo request.

3. Dominos closes at 2 AM????

 

 

 

 

Top 5 TV Show Episodes that Make a Bad Day Better

1. The Office, “Stress Relief”

2. Parks and Recreation, “Li’l Sebastian”

3. 30 Rock, “Queen of Jordan”

 

 

 

Top 3 Things Every Georgetown Student Can Agree On

1. The Leo’s coffee may be a crummy necessity in maintaining our caffeine addictions, but their banana bread is a delicious gift from heaven.

2. Jack DeGioia is low-key a baller. He owns his rescinding hair line and classy tie collection.

3. We look at the people on tours to see by chance if we know someone, even though we would never actually want to see some random from high school.

Photos/gifs: blog.thehoya.com, facebook.com

Four Ways to Spice Up Your Valentine’s Day

There are many painful realities of growing up. At a certain point, you are expected to make your own doctors’ appointments, have a Linkedin profile, pay for the Christmas presents that you are giving, proofread your own emails and put someone other than your mom down as your emergency contact. One of the most regrettable hallmarks of ~adulthood~ is the point at which Valentine’s Day goes from being a lovely holiday where you exchange candy with each of your fellow third grade classmates, to a day of overrated expectations

(Not to mention the societal expectation that you have one singular valentine, which means that you are only receiving candy from ONE person… Who decided this was the norm?)

While the prospect of Valentine’s Day is typically met with groans, chocolate and wine have gone on sale at CVS and this opportunity must be capitalized on, regardless of your relationship status. Whether your valentine is your wife of 50 years, your dog, your BFF, your serious boyfriendTM, or (treat) yourself, 4E is here to help you show the important people in your life how much they mean to you.

1. Bake a cake

I HIGHLY recommend putting your love into homemade, edible, frosted form. Impress your beloved with your ability to maneuver a questionable common room kitchen. Judge whether or not your Tinder date is truly a “match” by how compatible your cake preferences are!

*If they think that red velvet is clothing material, call GUPD asap*

Frost out a romantic haiku to let a special someone on the Hilltop know how you feel. Take away: baking is a fast and foolproof way to just about anyone’s heart.

2. Sing a Taylor Swift song

T-Swizzle’s canon of relationship woes has plenty of material for all relationship statuses. What better way to celebrate your favorite mushy-gushy holiday than whipping out some T. Swift circa-2008 hits? Maybe you have a relationship serious enough to merit a re-enactment of the “You Belong with Me” music video. Or maybe you and your gal-entines are belting out “Teardrops on My Guitar” in between sips of rosé. Thank you, Taylor, for providing us with this kind of versatility.

3. Go out to eat

4E prohibits any semblance of a Leo’s date on February 14th. Nothing says “I love you” like taking a break from the meal plan together. Good news: as good as Leo’s Chicken Finger Thursday is, the bar has been set low. As long as you’ve made reservations, it’s hard to go wrong here. Whether you’re going to be proposing at 1789, or you and your best friend plan on ordering all of the Good Stuff milkshakes together, good food is  a power move.

4. Steal the Hope diamond

We live in Washington D.C., people! You have the Smithsonian Natural History Museum at your disposal and little blue boxes can’t compete with Countess Mona von Bismarck’s sapphire necklace. Perfect gift for your history buff S.O., but maybe not so perfect for your Intro to Ethics crush who’s a proponent of altruism.

Gifs: giphy.com

Dating Advice from Donald Trump

Hear ye, hear ye! A proclamation to all the Georgetown romantics looking for or currently involved in a loving relationship: Valentine’s Day is just around the corner! You may think that you are an expert on the lovely world of dating, but there can only be one true master. And that master just happens to be the President of the United States. We here at 4E have searched for and archived some of our new President’s greatest pieces of advice just for you!

Follow this advice and you can be            just like The Donald!

Have no tolerance for cheaters.

The fall of 2012 was a rocky time for everyone’s former favorite celebrity couple, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart. With allegations of cheating by Kristen Stewart running amuck, many were outraged–including America’s very own, Donald Trump.

In the span of approximately one month, our President tweeted a total of 6 times voicing his opinions on what Robert Pattinson should do about his former partner’s infidelity. The rampage begins with the following remarks made on October 17, 2012:

While this tweet includes a few troubling remarks, the overall message is clear–Robert Pattinson should not tolerate cheating and neither should you.

Have high standards for yourself.

Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson are not the only celebrity couple Donald Trump felt the irresistible desire to weigh in on. He also simply had to tell the world his opinion of Katy Perry and Russel Brand as well. On October 16, 2014, Donald Trump sent the following tweet.

Considering he is the father of two daughters, it should come as no surprise that Donald Trump has taken the “over-protective-dad” approach to this one. He only wants the best for Katy and you. Find yourself a significant other who’s got more going on than Russel Brand and don’t settle for anything less.

@RusselBrand

Don’t date unattractive people (inside and out).

On August 28, 2012, Donald Trump offered a compliment to the husband of Arianna Huffington for his decision to divorce his wife.

Donald Trump raises some very important points here. Physical and emotional attraction are key for any relationship to flourish. In this tweet, Donald Trump also displays a clear understanding of how sexuality works–Arianna Huffington’s former husband was clearly so repulsed by the unattractiveness of his wife that he became gay.

If this does not show Donald Trump’s support of LGBTQ rights, I don’t know what does.

Don’t date your daughter.

While I thought this was an unspoken rule, Donald Trump has made it very clear that you should not, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, date your daughter–no matter how attracted you are to her.

Donald Trump has often made remarks on the physical beauty of his daughter, Ivanka, in the past. In fact, on one 2006 episode of ABC’s “The View,”  “If Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.” I guess a biological, paternal relationship is simply an unfortunate deal breaker for our president.

That’s it for now kids! If you simply follow Donald Trump’s advice, you will wake up on Valentine’s Day with a relationship as strong and genuine as his and Melania’s.

Photos/gifs: twitter.com, giphy.com 

The Best and the Worst: Bachelor 2016

Wow, here we are. After three solid losses, Bachelor Nick Viall is a ripe 36 and still ready to find love. His hobbies include being awkward, mumbling, and extending his 15 minutes of fame, which are all key qualities that will blow his bachelorettes away. After chatting with his “super-close” yet highly critical bros Sean, Chris, and Ben, who also happen to be former Bachelors, Nick kicked off the season with an interesting set of women. Some are cute and some are wild, which is why I’ve created an explanatory and categorized low-down of our remaining Bachelor women (you’re welcome).

The Stand-Outs

Danielle M. 

Danielle is an automatic front-runner. She’s gorgeous, takes care of little babies in the hospital and has a softer voice than my government professor, whom I literally cannot hear at all. Also, their first conversation was a seamless one about how they both make great French toast…I mean, you can’t beat that.

Danielle L. 

Whether it was her super low-cut dress or her sweet personality, Danielle #2 made a great first impression right out of the limo. Since then, she’s scored an exciting serenade from the Backstreet Boys and smooches from Nick, so she’s showing lots of potential for the future.

Rachel

Rachel’s an attorney from Dallas, Texas, which basically means she has her sh*t together way more than literally anyone else on this show. She’s gotten the first impression rose and a date rose, so we know that Nick is super into this one.

The Danger Zone

Corinne

We know Corinne likes cucumbers made by her nanny Raquel, but someone should actually go get her a glass of water. This girl is so thirsty it kills me. In addition to talking aggressively making out with Nick without knowing much about him, Corinne enjoys frequently interrupting the other girls and openly shedding clothes at any moment in time. Also, PSA: Raquel actually has a Go Fund Me page up now, so make sure to contribute to her future caregiving endeavors!

Straight-Up Crazies

Alexis

Alexis strutted up to the Bachelor mansion in nothing but a much-debated dolphin/shark costume. She loves-loves-loves dolphins much more than any adult woman should, and she makes it clear that her beloved sea friends are the priority (sorry Nick!).

Josephine

Josephine showed up and tried to woo Nick by forcibly insisting he eat a raw hot dog with her. It was almost as awkward as when she gave him a cringe-worthy serenade about wanting a one-on-one with him this last episode. Outlook = hazy.

The Weird Ones

Christen

Christen decided to wear a yellow dress the first night, which was her first bad move. Next she told Nick that she “watched him on TV for the past 3 years” and that she thought she was “meeting a celebrity.” I think Nick wanted to awkward-smile and cry at the same time.

Jaimi

There’s not much we know about Jaimi at this point, other than her interesting first impression where she told Nick she “has balls.” Turned out to be a nose ring, but she all had us wondering what exactly she meant by that…

Contestants That Make You Go “Eh”

Vanessa

Vanessa’s a fine contestant, minus her recent stunt of accidental puking on her first date. Though her one-on-one was pretty successful,  her generally forced humor and mom-like personality docks some points.

Taylor

Taylor comes off as sweet and knowledgeable…but is she? She seems cute, but she sometimes gives us the know-it-all vibe. Plus, this may be an unpopular opinion, but I don’t really see any real connection between her and Nick. Sorry?

 

Jasmine G.

Jasmine is interesting and spunky, but again, I see no fiery spark with the man in the house. Eh.

The Ones We’re Thankful For

Chris Harrison

I know what you’re thinking, and you’re right. Chris is not one of Nick’s many lady friends. Yet, his presence on the show is so essential. His brief announcements of when there is a final rose are critical–how else would we know there’s only one rose left? You have to admit that Chris is a long time fan favorite.

Sarah

Sarah’s cute, funny, and seems normal so far. We must be thankful for her energy and appreciate her “in” hairstyle. Also, most people probably didn’t catch this, but her first words in the house were “Oh my God, there’s food!” which makes her more relatable than most.

Raven

I have to admit, Raven has definitely grown on me since I first saw her dangerously strolling along train tracks in her bio. She seems to be adorable and genuine. Cross your fingers she’s not one who only gets far enough to get her heart broken.

…Who?

Kristina

I think I remember crying at one point in time, but I can’t be too sure.

Whitney

Whitney might have a chance with Nick if she ever…you know, talked.

Astrid

It’s possible she was in a hot tub with Nick, but that’s literally all I remember of her.

Brittany

Brittany, are you even on the show?

…I give up.

Photos: abc.com

Word Wednesday: Cuffing

Oh baby, it’s cold outside and that means one thing: it’s “cuffing” season. What is cuffing you may ask? Well, this Word Wednesday 4E is about to educate you on this oh-so important word. You can thank us in advance.

According to notably credible source Urban Dictionary, “cuffing” or better yet, “cuffing season” is that time during the cold months when singles everywhere wish to hop on the relationship train desiring to be “cuffed” or cuddled in a ball of warm love. Urban Dictionary states, “the cold weather and prolonged indoor activity causes singles to become lonely and desperate to be cuffed.”

So, if you’re single and ready to mingle or just want an extra body to keep you warm on those cold winter nights, then “cuffing” is a word you should familiarize yourself with! But, how do you find your cuffing partner? Oh don’t worry, 4E has a few ways you can find a winter bae.

  1. Get on a dating app
    This is a fool proof, option plenty way to meet someone ! You can hop on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Happn, Grindr and many more. Just start swiping and you’ll find a cuddle buddy in no time.
  2. Get on Spoonr
    If you’re looking to skip the awkward small talk and happy hour dates, then get straight on Spoonr.  I didn’t even know this kind of thing existed, but apparently Spoonr is the #1 cuddling app. I guess there really is an app for everything.
  3. Get the newest edition of the girlfriend/boyfriend body pillow
    If you’re looking to just skip the whole human interaction thing altogether but still want to feel cuddled by an inanimate object (#creepy), then look no further than the “boyfriend/girlfriend cuddling pillow.”  You’ll feel loved and get to skip all conversation and effort at the same time.
    We hope that you keep warm over these next few months and find your perfect cuffing partner. Honestly, skip the dating apps and pillows…dogs are the best for cuddles!

    Images: giphy.com

Holidays and Hurling: A Guide to Your Hangovers

HangoverIt’s safe to say that the last month has been a whirlwind. The end of Thanksgiving break, all those formals, finals, finally coming home all in the holiday season, Christmas and New Year’s Eve has been a lot to handle. Amidst all the chaos, however, you probably still had time to go out and have fun with your friends. One or two nights (or maybe even all of them, if you’re ambitious) between that first study day and your first final probably looked something like this:You probably had an unbelievable night dressed as some holiday-related getup and posted the most basic picture of all time on Instagram. Meanwhile, you might have woken up the morning after and looked something like this:The mad rush to finish the fall semester ~with a bang~ included formals, sweaty Henle parties, trips to Chi Di, trips to Piano Bar (after getting rejected by Chi Di) and just relaxing evenings at Booey’s with friends. Most, if not all, of these experiences had you feeling down in the dumps the next morning or even later that night.

However, the holiday season has taught us at 4E that not all hangovers are the same. Maybe you woke up with just a slight headache one morning, but then the next morning you woke up feeling like death and slightly sick from all the Quick Pita food you had at 3 AM. So while 4E once told you how to survive those day-afters, I have composed a guide to classify what type of hangover you might be feeling as part of the Sunday Scaries.

  1. The Classic Beer Hangover– You wake up with nothing more than a pounding headache and the warm, delightful taste of Natty Light (read: you also smell like this, which makes you feel slightly queasy). This type of hangover probably came from a trip to Booey’s or the aforementioned sweaty Henle party. You’ll typically experience this throughout your time at Georgetown. The positive side of this experience? An easy remedy is to pop a few Advil and head to Leo’s.
  2. Death by Burnett’s– The other side to a typical party: a handle of some flavor of Burnett’s being passed around. Although you know this never ends well, you decide to go with the flow and deal with the consequences later. You wake up feeling ill. You feel sick and achy, but you manage to get up, clean yourself up, and then head out for the day. If you head to Leo’s brunch, this hangover is sure to be a thing of the past.
  3. The Aftereffects of Various Alcohols– The pregame started at 10 and you lasted until 2 AM. You had it all: beer, Burnett’s, some sort of juice and a sip of water at Epi (because that helps with the hangover, right?). Rumor has it there were even a few ~special~ ingredients in the jungle juice you had at that Vil B. Combining the aspects of the last two hangovers, your hangover makes you feel like death. Even after a shower, Advil and eating  the best of Leo’s brunch leaves you feeling hollow and just not your best. Unfortunately, the only way to get through this is to wait it out; by the end of the day, you’ll feel well enough to go out again and repeat the process.
  4. Post-Blackout-Mortem– Similar to the previous topic, you drank a hodgepodge of everything. You went from apartment to apartment to bar to bar, and made the most of every stop. Although you can only remember so much of it, you know you drank a lot since you wake up in the same clothes with some sort of orange liquid staining the front of said clothes. Is it a drink from last night or…? You don’t want to know, and you probably won’t find out unless your friend shows you the pictures that you wish didn’t exist. In the meantime, you focus on getting out of bed, because you can only think about one thing right now and even that takes every ounce of strength. Let’s just say that brushing your teeth, which is supposed to feel good, turns into a nightmare.
  5. Continuing Drunkenness– You wake up NOT HUNGOVER and feel like you’re on top of the world. You congratulate yourself on a job well done and figure what you can do next time to repeat the experience. As you begin to ponder this, however, your head starts to slightly throb until it feels like you’re being repeatedly thrown down the Lau steps. You start to feel sick and realize that your hangover is starting later than expected. Why? Because you were still drunk when you woke up. Although this may seem concerning, have no fear! Your options include accepting defeat or you could just keep it going! Either way you’re going to have a rough day. Nevertheless, you push forward.
  6. …Not Hungover?– Against all odds, you wake up truly not hungover and go about your day per usual. Either you didn’t drink that much or it’s just your lucky day. Although this is rare, it does happen. If it happens to you, congratulations! You can only go downhill from here.

So readers, take this as a guide for when you’re feeling under the weather on those Saturday/Sunday mornings of 2017. Happy New Year and, most importantly, stay responsible!

Photos/gifs: giphy.com, viralchakra.com

The Five Types of Georgetown Basketball Fans

Banner - FansAs winter break thaws out, Big East conference play is just starting to heat up. While we’ve probably all watched at least one Georgetown Basketball game in our lives, I’m sure we all have had different feelings surrounding those games: frustration, excitement, dread when you realize you left your GoCard at the Verizon Center, and even despair. For some, the games are merely an opportunity to watch some basketball, and for others, the games are an opportunity to cheer drink away the Sunday Scaries on a Saturday morning.

In any case, Georgetown certainly has some interesting fans. In fact, there are many stereotypes for the typical Georgetown game attendees one might run into at the Verizon Center. Here are some of 4E’s favorites:

  1. The Instagram enthusiast. They enjoy a nice outing once a semester downtown to the Verizon Center, where they are sure to get a decent amount of likes off of posting a pic of themselves and their freshmen roommates having SO much fun at the game. They probably don’t even know what the players’ names are, but that doesn’t bother them. They aren’t sure why Georgetown switched baskets halfway through the game and are likely to put Jack skateboarding on their snap stories. They may even post a finsta of how #turnt they got if we’re lucky enough.
  2. The ones who still believe in JT3. Don’t trust them. They like to be let down. They will probably lose in many respects in life. They are probably disillusioned with being a Georgetown student, so you won’t likely find this person in the student section. They always buy season tickets, and would rather hold the ticket for a game they can’t attend rather than sell it off to a petty “Down-with-JT3” cheering fan. If it’s possible to blow a lead in life, they will do it.
  3. The fans who have an obsession with cutout heads. While basketball is exciting and all, these are the people who merely go to the game to wave around a piece of cardboard. No, they aren’t just looking for attention, but in addition, an opportunity to escape their real lives, and become the Pope/John Thompson/Bradley Cooper/etc. They will risk their lives to get the cutout of their choice and probably have a hearty secret collection of cutouts.
  4. The serial dancers. We have plenty of dance groups on campus, but these fans aren’t interested in group-sponsored theatrics. Instead, they will be heavily featured on the big screen for their less-than-stellar fantastic moves. It’s not hard to be featured when you’re the only one in the arena moving and shaking, but they will tout their big screen appearances to no end and will perhaps even consider putting it on their resumes. They are huge fans of the student section and will try to conduct the attention of all students in said section.
  5. The avid basketball fan. There isn’t anything more exciting (frustrating?) for these people than watching some great (frustrating?) Georgetown basketball. They wish they were attending the school back in the ’84-’85 season and have memorized so many stats that they have no room left in their brains to study for that philosophy final. They think about the cost-benefit analysis and the prospect of the team’s success in the upcoming season before buying season tickets. They wouldn’t miss a game — even though they often turn them off and cry into a pillow at halftime.

    Wrong sport, right reaction

Time to break some stereotypes.

Photos/Gifs: scout.com, giphy.com