Make Sightseeing Great Again

In these tumultuous times, the District may seem like a less attractive tourist destination. However, if you properly ignore a certain orange presence, you’re sure to enjoy checking out America’s most treasured monuments and museums, which, believe it or not, are still standing after the election!

So, if you’re disheartened and still a little confused by the events of November 8th, 2016 and you have friends coming in from out of town or you’re just looking for a cool museum to explore by yourself (#foreveralone), 4E’s got you covered!

The Gear

The most important aspect of being a D.C. tourist is looking the part. Sure, you go to Georgetown, but you shouldn’t walk into the National Gallery of Art wearing Vineyard Vines if you want to be a real D.C. expert. That’s why 4E recommends purchasing a classy American flag fanny pack for your trips into the center of our nation’s capital. Aside from being stylish, a fanny pack such as the Freedom Fanny Pack with Six-Pack Drink Holder Extension is a convenient option for storing beverages for yourself and whoever’s crazy enough to walk around with you. The fanny pack can be accompanied by American flag leggings or a pet bald eagle.*

*Note: Bald eagles cannot be legally kept as pets in the United States. 4E is in no way encouraging readers to attempt to domesticate bald eagles and thus holds no responsibility for bald eagle attacks. But also, you do you.

The Top 5 Tourist Stops

Washington Monument

The Washington Monument is a 555-foot obelisk built to honor George Washington. Construction of the monument was completed in 1888 and it is to this day the tallest structure in D.C.

Unfortunately, the National Park Service is currently working on the monument’s elevator so the obelisk’s famous viewing deck is currently closed to the public. As the National Park Service is at this moment engaged in a Twitter war with our commander in chief (you just can’t make this stuff up), it seems extremely unlikely that the monument will be open to visitors before its expected completion date of 2019. On the other hand, the Trump presidency’s expected completion date is 2020. We are very much hoping this is a liberal estimate.

National Gallery of Art

Before the National Endowment for the Arts is defunded by our president, it’s worth taking a trip to the National Gallery of Art where you can impress friends and family by pretending to know about art history. Was Picasso the one that cut his ear off? Was Joan Miró a man or a woman? What kind of horrible parents name their child Rembrandt Harmenszoon van Rijn? Don’t worry! Just pull a Kellyanne Conway by making some stuff up and laughing it off if anyone questions you. If you’re really stuck, just yell “alternative fact!” until people forget whatever ridiculous thing you said in the first place.

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue

Just don’t.

This used to be an historic monument but it’s currently being desecrated by an oversized cheeto and his friends.

Even once he’s gone, visiting will be a bit like going into a bathroom stall when someone just came out and said “Hey, I wasn’t feeling so good so you might wanna wait a while before you go in there.”

Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. (Unless you’re a Russian hacker, in which case, pat yourself on the back and go collect your pay before he sues you).

Supreme Court

If you’re a bad hombre or a nasty woman, this stop will be one of your favorites!

Hidden behind the Capitol Building, the Supreme Court is where our country’s most significant judicial decisions are made by nine justices. Well, most of the time it’s nine. It’s kind of complicated at the moment. We won’t get into it. (Love you @merrickgarland)

More importantly, the Supreme Court is the workplace of America’s favorite grandma and 4E’s biggest fan, Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

National Air and Space Museum

For those days when you’ve gotten seven CNN News Alerts about Trump’s executive orders, tweets and absurdly long neckties, and you just feel like you can’t handle living on Earth any longer, put your phone on silent and take a break at the National Air and Space Museum!

This museum has on display the Wright brothers’ plane, the Friendship 7 capsule that John Glenn flew as the first American to orbit Earth and even the Apollo 11 module that was responsible for the moon landing. If you consider the moon landing to be fake news, feel free to skip that part.

If these exhibits still seem a little too close to all our planet’s insanity for your liking, the museum even has an IMAX movie about future travel to Mars. We know moving to Canada seems like a drastic option — after all, even though they have an awesome (*cough cough hot cough cough*) prime minister, Canadians eat snow off the street and apologize for everything. That’s why we recommend exploring the Mars One website (www.mars-one.com) which will tell you all you need to know about being a Mars colonist. You might want to upgrade your fanny pack for that trip though.

Sources: giphy.com, twitter.com, tumblr.com

Things Worth Loving This Valentine’s Day

Down with capitalistic consumer culture that tells us that showering in materialism one day a year is a necessary approach to demonstrating our care for a significant other! Down with societal expectations that promote monogamy, heteronormativity and tacky, giant, useless teddy bears bound for eventual landfill!

Why just celebrate one person one day a year when you are surrounded by people and things worth loving every day, all of the time?!

Here’s 4E’s take on things that are truly worthy of love and celebration this Valentine’s Day:

Epi’s salad bar

DeGioia’s smile

Healy Lawn

The Office

Bathroom Stall Art

Peets!

70 degree weather in February

Tinder

Free cake samples at Dog Tag Bakery

GUPD officers who smile

Arrupe’s study spaces

Arrupe being called Arrupe

NPR Politics

Leo’s vegan options

Yates midday

The Law Center GUTS bus

Lau’s free feminine product dispenser

Super Bowl commercials that promote unity

A friend’s baby photos

Your grandparents

Bitmojis

Peanut butter

The Smithsonian Museum of African American History and Culture

Lau’s book request system

Research grants

Sunshine

Fluffy dogs

Naps

Big dogs

Netflix

Little dogs

Booeymonger

Rumchata

If you’re still reading this and feel as though your qualms for the holiday have not subsided, here’s a list of things you might not love, but nonetheless could make you more grateful today for the things that you do love.

Here are things to also love today:

Donald Trump’s twitter

Expired groceries

The patriarchy

Systematic inequality

Georgetown’s rising tuition

Racial disparities

Antisemitism

Being ghosted

Canada Goose jackets

People who walk slowly

Read receipts

Saxanet

Poor customer service

Class with your ex

Classism

Corp coffee

Splitting the check

Partisanship

The Metro

Weekly assignments

Rejection

2k17’s lack of snow days

Gifs: giphy.com

Best Signs: Women’s March on Washington

Fed up with politics? Here’s one political  event you’ll want to revisit! No matter your political affiliation, we’re sure that one thing we can all come together and agree on is America’s creativity.

Here are the best signs from the Women’s March on Washington on January 21, 2017.

The memes were OFF the charts.

People showed their support from all over the country.

Some made not so subtle music references.

Others were inspiring.

The insults got creative. 

Knitting made the comeback of the century. 

Thoughtful comparisons were made. 

Others went the historic route.

She said what we were all really thinking.

And across partisan lines, everyone at  the Women’s March on Washington agreed on one thing…

Photos: twitter.com, http://e-radio.us/the-best-signs-from-the-womens-march-on-washington/

Overheard at President Trump’s Inauguration

Well, it’s official: Donald Trump is The President of the United States. And while I’m sure all of you spent Friday, January 20th making signs for the Women’s March watching the inauguration ceremony, here are some of the best “Overheard at Inauguration” moments that you may have missed, courtesy of your friends here at 4E.

1. “Donald Trump, have my babies!”
-Yelled by a teenage boy during the Oath of Office

2. “This is the best day of my life!”
-A man without a jacket in the midst of the pouring rain

3. “I knew he was going to be President ever since the first time I  watched The Apprentice.

4. “Wait, I thought Ivanka was Trump’s wife?”

5. “If I knew he was going to win, I don’t think I would have voted for him.”

*as it started to rain*

6. Girl in the Crowd: “Rain Drop!”
Group of Trump Supporters: “Drop Top!”

As evidenced by that last one, there is still some good left in the world.  In the meantime, feel free to comment your own “Overheard” moments in the comments section below, because remember, there is (sadly) a good chance that the Leader of the Free World is reading this article as we speak!

Gifs: giphy.com

10 Things I’d Rather Listen To Than 3 Doors Down

January 20th has come and gone, and Inauguration weekend has commenced. What does that mean? Only that 3 Doors Down has risen from the dead! If you don’t know who they are, don’t be surprised. You’ve probably spent your entire life unconsciously avoiding them, as one Twitter user explained. Their most famous song “Kryptonite” isn’t the worst, but honestly it probably belongs where I found it: middle school. At this point, I would almost rather do anything than jam to my middle school tunes, but the following situations made the top of the list.

  1. Listen to the basketball score from last Monday’s game on repeat.

I promise this is the most heartbreaking sound on here.

2. The Sound of My Own Voice

Have you ever heard your own pre-recorded voicemail? Count yourself lucky if you haven’t. It is one of the worst sounds you’ll ever hear, but I’d still prefer it to 3 Doors Down.

3. “Friday” by Rebecca Black

Honestly, this might have been a better choice because the Inauguration was on Friday. And in the wise words of Rebecca Black, “Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday/ Today it is Friday/ . . . We gonna have a ball today.” There was an Inauguration Ball Friday night, after all.

4. “Meme Machine” by Pink Guy

We’re now losing our favorite meme. At least this song can honor that. Also, it’s #5 in the Australian Top 50, so there’s that.

5. Paolo from The Lizzie McGuire Movie singing “What Dreams Are Made Of

SING TO ME, PAOLO.

6. “The Guacamole Song” by Dr. Jean

If you squint kinda hard and close one eye she almost resembles Hillary Clinton!! I would definitely listen to this horrific song over “Kryptonite” if I could see Dr. Jean perform it.

7. “Sweatshirt” by Jacob Sartorius

After listening to everyone under 13 blast this song at the pool this summer, I’m honestly tired of it. It’s pretty autotuned, but at least it’s kind of catchy.

8. “Let it Go

This song was great when it came out, but it is so overplayed that I honestly cannot hear it one more time. But when faced with the choice of 3 Doors Down or “Let It Go,” I’ll stand in the light of day and let the storm rage on. The song never bothered me anyways. (Side note: fun inauguration remix here)

9. Watch all of the Buzzfeed Unsolved videos alone AND in the dark

This is the scariest possible thing that I could think of.

10. “Amigas Cheetahs” by The Cheetah Girls

Honestly this song isn’t even a problem. I found it in my iTunes folder and it’s just beautiful. I would definitely go to the concert if they were there. 11/10 would recommend.

I hope that this gave you a laugh or at least gave you some ideas of what to listen to instead of 3 Doors Down!

Photos/gifs: giphy.com, genius.com

The Women’s March on Washington: Everything You Need To Know

You may have heard that this Friday, the 20th of January, 2017, The Donald will be sworn in as the 45th president of the United States. You definitely have heard that this monumental day has sparked anxiety and arguments across our nation and our world. It seems that a vast array of the President-elect’s former statements on little things like (let’s just name the R’s for brevity’s sake)  Race, Russia, and Rosie O’Donnell, to name a few, have left sums of people experiencing a range of emotions from outrage  to fear, to complete and absolute bewilderment. Many of these people belong to organizations that advocate for human rights, but others are those who are simply able to acknowledge basic human rights and threats to them.

You need to know that this Saturday, the 21st of January, upwards of tens of thousands of women are expected to gather in D.C. for the Women’s March on Washington. The Women’s March is not about Trump. It is instead about the many identities he fails to represent in both his decisions and his lived experiences.

Whether you’re attending in D.C., one of the hundreds of sister marchers around the planet, or there in spirit and solidarity…

Here’s everything you need to know:

Who: Originally created by a retired grandmother in Hawaii, the Women’s March has been taken on be activists and celebrities and grass-root organizers across the country. Over 40,000 people are expected to be in attendance in Washington on Saturday and hundreds of other marches are set to run in solidarity.

Why: Leaders of the March state that its purpose is to send a bold message on the very first day of Trump’s presidency that people are watching him, ready to advocate for their rights, safety, health, and families. (A full list of the principles they seek to protect can be found here with definitions).

What: While it is called the “Women’s March,” the purpose of the March is to advocate for a wide intersection of identities (see Vox’s explanation of Intersectionality here) that have been threatened by Trump’s statements and decisions. All who believe in equal rights are encouraged to attend.

Where: The official March will be starting off at the intersection of Independence Ave. and Third Street S.W.
Sites for the 616 and counting sister marches around the country can be found here.

When: Saturday, January 21th, 2017. The D.C. March begins with a rally from 10:00 AM-1:15 PM. The march will commence shortly afterwards.

How: The March has secured permits and protection from the city and will be put on through the help of volunteers. For up-to-date events and notifications download the app!

SEE YOU THERE!

Photos: womensmarch.com 

How to Throw the Perfect Inauguration Day Party

January 20th 2017 is an important date for two reasons. First, it marks the inauguration of our nation’s 45th President and ushers in a new and unprecedented era in American history. Secondly, and much more importantly, it’s an official Georgetown University holiday, which means that we all get to be MSB students for a day and share in the luxurious experience of having no Friday classes! So if you’re searching for a fun way to spend your day off, look no further: we here at 4E have got you covered with some tips and tricks for the perfect Inauguration Day party.

Find the perfect spot to host

When you’re searching for the right place to throw your Inauguration Day bash, we recommend you choose a different location from wherever you hosted your Election Night party a few months ago- after all, nothing ruins a good party faster than terrifying flashbacks! Your best bet in terms of location is definitely the Village A rooftop. While you can’t really see the Capitol building from the roof, you can see the Washington Monument, which we all know provides the perfect patriotic background for that inevitable Inauguration Day Instagram, which you’ll probably post with an original, hilarious caption like #MakeAmericaLITagain

Invite some VIPs

To quote our next President, your party can’t be full of “losers and haters,” so when it comes to making your guest list, be sure to go the extra mile. Actually, you don’t even have to go a whole mile- just walk the few blocks to John Kerry’s house and invite him to your awesome party. He obviously can’t RSVP to your Facebook event for security reasons, so your safest bet is definitely to just go knock on his door and ask him face to face. His secret service agents totally won’t mind as long as you remember to extend the invitation to them as well. In the meantime, wander around campus and you’ll probably run into frequent Dahlgren Chapel-attendee, Joe Biden, or Georgetown’s favorite son and America’s favorite almost-first-husband, Bill Clinton. And after this election cycle, these guys are definitely ready to kick back and party, so be sure to toss an invite their way.

Make a playlist

No Inauguration Day party would be complete without the musical stylings of Trump’s new best friend, Kanye West. After the craziness known as the 2016 election, I don’t think any of us would even be surprised at this point if Kanye somehow ended up with a Cabinet position. In fact, we’re calling it now: we think a Trump/West 2020 ticket is in our future (in four years, remember you heard it here at 4E first!). And if Kanye’s ascent into the political arena is imminent, we must enjoy his musical genius while we still can. So at your party, be sure to “Runaway” from your fears about the next four years, ignore all those fake news stories and focus on the “Facts (Charlie Heat Version)” and remember that we can still be “Stronger” together even though Donald Trump will soon have all that “POWER” to “Run This Town.”

Choose beverages wisely

If you’re still feeling patriotic and want to make a political statement at your party, follow President Obama’s lead by enacting your own symbolic sanctions against Russia in the most college-way possible: boycotting Russian-brand vodka. In terms of what you can realistically afford, this basically means no Russian Standard and no Stolichnaya. Don’t worry, Smirnoff doesn’t count. If you’re looking for an alternative, we here at 4E recommend everyone’s favorite delicious (and American-made!) vodka, Burnett’s. For more information on this flavored poison refreshing beverage, check out some of our diligent research here.

There you have it: a few simple tips and tricks to make your Inauguration Day one to remember. And finally before we go, if you’re reading this, Mr. Trump (and based on your bizarre social media habits, there’s sadly good chance that you actually are), we wish you luck. Despite our differences, we hope that you prove us wrong and use these next four years to help lead our country in the right direction. But in the meantime, we here at 4E will continue to contribute to the “crooked media” by low key roasting you on a regular basis. Here’s to the next four years, neighbor.

Gifs: giphy.com, teepublic.com

Travel Hacks for Thanksgiving

travel hacks 2The time has come. We finally get to go home! But don’t get too excited just yet. Before we leave the Georgetown bubble and arrive at our cozy beds and clean/functional showers, we have to account for that trip home. Whether it’s a plane, train, bus, or car ride home, here are some hacks to make the trip a little more comfortable.

  1. Take a blanket with you. Yes. From what I’ve learned on my Amtrak rides home is that it can get pretty cold. I’m not saying pack your whole twin-sized, puffy blanket from your dorm, but a thin one to make sleeping during the trip a little easier.
  2. Pack your earphones/headphones with a fully charged phone. While you’re still on campus, connect to the wifi and download all your songs on Spotify before you go. This way, you can go on airplane mode on the trip, save your battery, and still be able to listen to everything you’ve recently saved in your library. You’re going to need it when that one baby starts crying and ruins it for everyone.
  3. Pack snacks. Go to Hoya Snaxa, Vittles, CVS, wherever. Purchase your granola bars, bananas, candy, and whatever else to keep you comfortable for a couple hours.
  4. Wear layers. If it’s too hot, you can take off your sweater with a shirt underneath. Don’t put the extra layer in your suitcase that’s overhead, but wear it or put in your backpack for easy access.
  5. Wear a baseball hat. Now this one may seem questionable at first. But do it. At one point or another on the trip, you’re going to get tired–and the lights may still be bright on your plane/train/bus. You can’t bust out a sleeping mask, so use your hat. This has saved me on my trips. Tip your hat over your face and now you can rest in peace and in the dark.
  6. If you’re not the type who can handle listening to music for a couple hours straight, download some movies on your laptop before you go.
  7. This is the crucial tip. If you want to be productive on your trip home, make sure you plan ahead. Most transportation methods don’t provide free wifi. That means download all your assignments from Blackboard and load your online articles before hand. This way, you can still work on your assignment without an internet source.
  8. Last but not least, dress comfortably. Whether that means wearing leggings or sweatpants instead of jeans, slip-ons instead of sneakers, t-shirts instead of button-ups–be sure you can endure sitting in your chosen outfit for a couple of hours. 

That’s it, folks! Happy almost Turkey Day! :)

Gifs: giphy.com

Is It Too Late Now to Say Sorry? An Open Apology Letter to the Neighborhood

Sorry neighbor post

For those of you who haven’t seen it yet, the Washington City Paper recently wrote an article detailing the deplorable behavior of Georgetown students at this year’s annual Homecoming Celebration.

One local resident aptly described the experience as “one of the worst I have ever endured.” And we, here at 4E, could not agree more. We would like to not only apologize for the actions of all Georgetown students, but also recommend some drastic changes to ensure that this kind of behavior does not happen again next year.

Sorry for our alcohol consumption.

This one would make anyone upset. I’m sure our neighbors were shocked and appalled by both the quality and methods of alcohol consumption by the average 21+ Georgetown student at Homecoming. Improperly-shotgunning a can of Natty you found in the courtyard of Vil B? Taking straight shots of Cinnamon Burnett’s in the backyard of a random townhouse?

Come on guys, we can do better.

Improvements will be made and definitive steps will be taken to fix this problem. For Homecoming 2017, we at 4E propose the strict enforcement of minimum quality standards for all alcohol consumed throughout Georgetown. Next year, we hope our neighbors will be pleased to find students chugging warm cans of only the most refined craft beers, such as Bud or Coors Lite, and rest assured, we will make sure students remember to use chasers as they take shots of Raspberry or at the very least, Peach Burnett’s.

We apologize for blaring Closer by The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey on repeat all day.

This one is definitely on us. It’s a well-known fact that most Georgetown residents only enjoy the Chainsmoker’s older material and Halsey has gone way too mainstream for their taste. Based on lyrics alone, we should have guessed that they would hate this song. Contrary to popular belief, a vast majority of the Georgetown crowd actually can afford that Rover, and these days only a small number of them sport the requisite shoulder tattoos necessary for the choral bite.

I’ve been told by several inside sources that our neighbors would have strongly preferred if we had instead played Broccoli by D.R.A.M ft. Lil’ Yachty on a constant loop throughout the day. Neighbors, we hear you and we are sorry. Next year, we will stay away from the EDM all together and stick solely to playing loud trap music starting at 7 A.M.

We regret our ostentatious celebration after winning the football game.

This one is completely out of line. Most Georgetowners moved to the neighborhood with the expectation that the football team would win no more than three games per year. So starting the season at 3-0? Completely unacceptable. As the Washington City Paper aptly reported, the victory clearly spurred complete chaos. Here on campus, there were widespread reports throughout the day of several students clapping, displaying school spirit, and even going so far as to discuss the possibility of attending another football game later in the season.

This must be stopped.

Next year, we promise we will resume the longstanding tradition of freshman not knowing where the football field is located and the rest of us preemptively complaining about JT III months before basketball season starts.

We beg forgiveness regarding the comments of “The Wobbly Blonde Undergraduate.”

One diligent Georgetowner recalled her terrifying Homecoming ordeal to the Washington City Paper, reporting that, “I was told by a wobbly, blonde undergrad in slurred tones that I should have expected this before I moved here.” I personally am appalled by this one.

First of all, how could anyone expect this poor woman to know that there was a 227 year old major American university with more than 7,000 undergraduate students just down the road before she moved in? Who would expect such a thing in Georgetown of all places?

Secondly, a student daring to assert their opinion to an adult is bad enough, but a blonde undergrad having the audacity to speak up? This is nothing short of unacceptable. We all know these blondes are out of control. If they think they can do this, they’ll think they can do anything! If we don’t take action soon, what will the blondes think they can do next? Run for President? The anarchy must stop.

And so, our dear fellow Georgetonians, we hope you accept our sincerest apologies and thoroughly consider our suggested changes. Hoya Saxa and see you next year.

Disclaimer: We actually like blondes. Wobbly Blonde Undergraduate, you do you!

Gifs: giphy.com, http://bit.ly/2dTDmYV

The Epic of Quick Pita

Banner - CheesyRecently, it was revealed that Quick Pita will be closing at the end of 2016 (on December 31, to be precise). You can imagine the effect this news has had on me, a connoisseur of late-night food. When I heard the news, I had a meltdown comparable to that of a catastrophic nuclear accident.Many of my fellow Quick Pita regulars reacted similarly as I gently broke the news to them. In fact, some of them threatened to transfer. Hogan Lizza (COL ’19), a devout Quick Pita enthusiast, commented, “Georgetown without Quick Pita is like the Cincinnati Zoo without Harambe.” I couldn’t have phrased it better myself. Quick Pita has been around for decades, and life will just not be the same without it.The increase in rent has left Quick Pita with no other choice but to move out. I, for one, plan on venturing there every weekend until they close. I also felt Quick Pita could not go without a proper sendoff. With a nod to Edgar Allan Poe, here is 4E’s tale of the Quick Pita we know and love:

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I wandered, drunk and weary,

Thinking about my ~classy~ night out on the dance floor,

As I ambled, nearly stopping, I heard a great number of people talking,

Talking of Middle Eastern food, of a place where I had never been before.

“Just a small eatery,” I thought, “hopefully cheaper than Epi because I’m poor.”

Only this, and nothing more.

I looked up this “Quick Pita” and set off for my potential hangover cure.

I hurried down Potomac Street, both hungry and eager to explore,

Eager to learn more about this eatery of Georgetown folklore.

Once I arrived, I took in the striped awning and the hole-in-the-wall that would help me score,

Help me score my freshman 15, something to soon happen, of that I was sure.

Quick Pita, I soon realized, would make me fat, forever more.

 Deep into the VCE darkness returning, I ate my chicken fingers and cheesy fries, still learning,

Learning about this wonderful taste, about to tell my friends they had to come with me.

But they didn’t listen, they said Darnall was too far from this place.

But I knew they’d come with me at some point, on my life I swore.

Eventually they ventured to Quick Pita, and their lives were changed when they walked through the double-doors.

Their hearts were changed–forevermore.

(Such as going to Quick Pita)
Such as going to Quick Pita.

Quick Pita became my solace, a refuge for me, whether or not I was sober.

The chicken fingers, the cheesy fries, the gyro kept me coming back for more.

I got on the scale after finals last year, and yelped in horror.

My parents asked me why I gained so much weight, how I didn’t notice my expanding core,

I told them how I frequently followed the Quick Pita spoor,

The spoor that would haunt my dreams-forevermore.

It was an ordinary night in September this year when I found out what would happen,

What would happen to Quick Pita, my dear Quick Pita, my savior.

Someone’s Snapstory said that Quick Pita was closing and raised a fury among students.

This was just something that I could not ignore.

I marched down to Potomac Street in the middle of a downpour.

I had to confirm that Quick Pita would be open (I couldn’t take not knowing anymore).

I strolled in and walked up to Sammy, the cashier who any Quick Pita regular knows.

I said to him, “Is it true you’re closing? If you say yes, I may start sobbing on the floor.”

He looked at me and said in a sad voice:

“Our landlord raised rent by forty percent, we can pay it no more.”

I replied, “Is there any way at all you can stay open? This is a place I really adore.”

Quoth Sammy, ever so honest, “Nevermore.”I walked home, depressed and defeated.

I told my friends and all acquaintances of the tragedy, the end of the food we all go for.

We all protested, and we in 4E ranted when we heard the news.

The neighborhood took away Rhino, now this? It’s like we’re at war.

But for now, all we can do is sit here and deplore.

For come 2017, Quick Pita’s doors shall be open – nevermore.

And Sammy, never moving, still is sitting, still is sitting,

Sitting at the counter, aimlessly staring at the eccentric, yet lovable, decor.

And his eyes have all the seeming of a good man that is dreaming,

And the fluorescent light over him casts his shadow on the tiled floor;

And the amazing food that we eat after leaving the Brown House dance floor

Shall be from Quick Pita – nevermore!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, yelpcdn.com