Cries for Help: Carvings in Lau Cubicles

As a nearly 230-year-old institution, Georgetown is host to secrets that current students can hardly fathom.

Hopefully no basilisks tho 🐍 #snakesofgeorgetown

Some of these secrets date back to the school’s founding. Messages etched by early students into the stone walls of Healy, White-Gravenor and Dahlgren — “Thou art fairer than a principled Jesuit,” “Thy perfume sweetens the scent of the stankiest Leo’s dish return,” etc. — have faded over time.

Actual footage of the Healy clock ringing every 15 minutes.

However, contemporary graffiti is alive and well in some of the newer and more utilized buildings on campus. Most anonymous messages, in fact, are located in none other than Lauinger Library, a hotspot of ~brutal~ nervous breakdowns on campus.

Lauinger? I barely know her.

Please join me as I reveal the most honest and repulsive thoughts of Georgetown students: those scrawled on the inside of Lau cubicles and Walsh restrooms in desperate acts of self-expression.

Me as I plumb Lau’s dusty depths. Also, if you don’t know what movie this gif is from, I can’t be friends with you.

Georgetown Confessions

It’s amazing that the president found time to helicopter over to Georgetown and vandalize our library! Spelling errors aside, this is 100% a rule to live by. #FightAgainstTheCapitalistCorp

This was found covering approximately 4 feet of vertical space on the lower level of Lau. I mean … say it loud, say it proud??? 😳🤷🏻‍♀️

Breaking down gender barriers one act of vandalism at a time.

You’ve got to admit, coming out and claiming the Walsh fourth floor women’s bathroom as one of your favorite spots on campus is a bold move. Kudos to this brave soul.

Slackademia

This one is honestly too relevant right now. I love how this ~poet~ backed up some linguistics major’s revelation with a quintessentially Georgetown story of academic humiliation.

4E was tipped off that this one was drawn by a struggling freshman who started their “Problem of God” paper the night before it was due and realized that they were supposed to “conduct a survey.” Yikes.

Quarter-Life Crises

If Lana Del Rey went to Georgetown, these would be the lyrics to her No. 1 song. FYI, if unlike this songwriter, the middle stall in the Walsh third floor bathroom isn’t really your vibe, check out these other spots on campus where you can bawl your eyes out.

This picture illustrates what happens when SFSers get too into their Neo-Sovietism class and then realize that they have to make themselves marketable to consulting firms for summer internships.

Classic Georgetown Elitism

Okay, Brock, that’s only because your dad donated a swimming pool there! Get off your high horse, please.

I mean… George Washington probably would have been a Hoya. #justsayin

Hoyas Reveal Their Ugly Side

This statement is unacceptable. Georgetown students are practically defined by their constant belittlement of campus dining and love for mainstream hip-hop. Do better, Hoyas.

Now that you’ve seen some of the innermost thoughts of Georgetown students, I encourage you to look around the next time you’re struggling to write a paper in Lau at 2 a.m. You may find inspiring messages, crude drawings or desperate cries for help.

Either way, the notes left behind by past Hoyas are an important part of Georgetown’s history that current students can and should bond over.

Did you know that Ben Gates holds a degree in American history from Georgetown? #NotableAlum

Best of luck with finals, everyone! Keep scribblin’ away.

Note: I’d like to apologize to all of the people I weirded out while sneaking around Lau and Walsh taking pictures.

Sources: Giphy, Facebook (Georgetown Memes for Non-Conforming Jesuit Teens)

An Ode to Finals Season

As the long-awaited Dec. 20 draws near, we here at 4E have prepared an ode to undoubtedly the merriest time of the year: FINALS SZN. Whether you’re reading this post in the sanctity of your own dearly missed home, at your ~unique~ vacation spot in Mexico or on the Hilltop waiting for your unfortunately-scheduled math final, we can relate to what you’re feeling:

So, without further ado, let’s all take a moment to reflect on Georgetown’s beloved stress culture, appreciate the ~high-quality~ Whisk coffee that has fueled us thus far and give ourselves a pat on the back for succeeding  doing relatively well surviving this semester!

After endless midterms, weeks of studying all night,

there’s a brief respite, then finals are in sight.

It seems like it’s always time to buckle down

but that’s just part of being at Georgetown

The struggle is real as you prep for Bib Lit —

but what can you expect from the Jesuits?

You’ve got 99 problems, the first is Of God,

and in time you’re exposed as a Catholic fraud.

In your first exam, those wretched blue books appear

and before too long, they’re stained with your tears.

You fight through hand cramps for two hours straight,

and from nine to eleven, your heart palpitates.

Lau 2 is love, Lau 2 is life —

just kidding, that place is a hellhole of strife.

You wonder, will these troubles ever be over?

It’s been awhile since you’ve been this sober.

You’ve studied forever, it seems like a time warp,

and while waiting at MUG, you curse the capitalist Corp.

Later that day, you procrastinate more:

It was feeling too lonely up on Lau 4.

You’re buried in books on a Saturday night —

to friends at state schools, it’s a pitiful sight.

It’s only midnight, but the future looks bleak.

You remind yourself, though, that sleep’s for the weak.

But when you finally get into the swing of things,

to no one’s surprise, Lau’s fire alarm rings.

So you make your way over to good ol’ Leavey —

should four flights of stairs really make you this wheezy?

Texts from your friends say they’re already on break,

but at least they’ll be free to attend your wake.

You’re struggling to find the will to survive,

indeed, you fall short of the expectation to thrive.

“How to learn French in a day,” you search online.

You’d forgotten “Bonjour”— probably not a good sign

After handing in your final subpar paper,

it looks like life’s finally turned in your favor.

Though GPA-wise, there may be reason to fear,

that’ll be a problem you save for next year.

The holidays will provide plenty of reason

for you to repress this finals season.

Walking past Healy, you take a pic and proceed,

“until next semester!” your Snapchat story reads.

Suitcase in hand, you feel an upswing in mood

at the thought of three weeks without Leo’s food.

You search for your Uber outside the front gates —

What’s taking so long? New Jersey awaits!

~Happy Hoyadays~ from all of us at 4E!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, tumblr.com

4E’s Official 2017 Finals SZN Coffee Drinking Game

The rules are simple. Every time you tick off a bingo box, take a shot of espresso. When you have four in a row (diagonals count), you win! We promise you will be adequately stressed out hyped and caffeinated to tackle your finals season studying! Happy studying, and remember that no matter how well you do, 4E loves you (unless you’re a real jerk)! Photos/Gifs: myfreebingocards.com, giphy.com, travelbetweenthepages.com

15 People Sexier Than Blake Shelton

If you haven’t heard, Blake Shelton was recently named the Sexiest Man Alive. We here at 4E are unsure if it’s just us, or if everyone else also has trouble seeing what People Magazine and Gwen Stefani see (look below for reference).

To try and get some perspective on this confusing choice, here’s a list of 15 people we think are sexier than Blake Shelton:

  1. The pizza in the above gif
  2. Amanda Bynes
  3. The Wisey’s Rat
  4. Jack the Bulldog
  5. Bill Clinton
  6. Todd Olson
  7. Josh Peck (pre-not inviting Drake Bell to his wedding)
  8. Patrick Ewing
  9. Amanda Bynes in “She’s the Man”
  10. The Dad from “Drake and Josh”
  11. Jack the Bulldog on a skateboard
  12. Kim Kim (we still miss you on the panini press)
  13. John DeGioia
  14. Todd Olson in full convocation garb
  15. Bradley Cooper

We at 4E simply cannot fathom how none of these fine options preceded Blake Shelton. People Magazine, we urge you to take into account this definitive list before choosing your ~Sexiest Man Alive~ next year.

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, tvguide.com

Monday Music Update! (Week of 10/12/17)

Hellooo! It’s Monday. So here are some suggested tracks to hit up during the week. Definitely a ~~feels~~ playlist:

  1. Miguel – Sure Thing (Andrey Azizov Remix)
    https://soundcloud.com/andrey-azizov/miguel-sure-thing-dreymix
  2. Karen Harding – Say Something (Zac Samuel Remix)
    https://soundcloud.com/zacsamuel/karen-harding-say-something-zac-samuel-remix
  3. Nessly – Catch a Vibe
    https://soundcloud.com/deandre-grant/nessly-catch-a-vibe
  4. Destiny’s Child – Say My Name (Cyril Hahn Remix)
    https://soundcloud.com/wetheurban/destinys-child-say-my-name
  5. 6LACK – Ex Calling
    https://soundcloud.com/6lack/ex-calling
  6. Rob Curly – Eleven 11:/11 (Prod. Felly)
    https://soundcloud.com/robcurly/eleven
  7. Goldroom – Embrace (Dusta Remix)
    https://soundcloud.com/user-721037130/goldroom-embrace-dusta-remix
  8. Lavi$h & Kingsley – Throwback
    https://soundcloud.com/vinsint/throwback-x-lavih-kingsley
  9. Soulja Boy – Kiss Me Thru the Phone (Enschway Remix)
    https://soundcloud.com/jorrdss/kiss-me-thru-the-phone-austin-johnson-enschway-re-remix
  10. Opia – Falling (Wheathin Redo)
    https://soundcloud.com/ricky_cervantes/often-side-project-mix

Midterms got nothing on us. You got this fam.

GIFS/Music/Photos: soundcloud.com, giphy.com, pinterest.com

5 Questions I Have for Georgetown While Abroad

Hello, Hoyas on the Hilltop and abroad. I am currently studying in Hong Kong, and well, even across the Pacific, I still see snaps and get email updates, so all in all, I have a lot of questions.

  1.  WHAT IS THE NEW LEO’S LIKE?? Is the food good? Is the renovation lovely? Are there lines? How is the food? What is your favorite “station” or whatever you call the different dining options upstairs? How do you like the food?
  2. How long is the line at Chick-fil-A? Last year at 3pm the masses would convene in Hoya Court to hit up Subway, Così and the other two or three places at which you could use a meal swipe. I’m assuming that whenever Chick-fil-A opens there is a large line. How do you pass the time? Do you wonder why it is not open on Sunday’s? Do you contemplate the Problem of God?
  3.  Where is the new Uncommon Grounds?
  4.  Does Patrick Ewing enjoy being back at campus? Honestly, I bet we’re all asking that. And also wondering will this be our year to make it to the NIT March Madness?~Coach Ewing enjoying himself at his 1985 Georgetown graduation~
  5.  And when did we become a football school? Now, I’m not a math major, but if you add Georgetown football  to RFK stadium, we are still not a state school.  I guess pretending we’re a football school for a day will have to do until we turn into one.

Roll Hoyas!

Photos/Gifs: Giphy.com, Quickmeme.com, redbubble.net, hoyas2015.georgetwon.edu, wikitravel.com

Monday Music Update!

Here are some tracks you should hit up during the week! Keep holding on: The weekend will be here before you know it. You got this.

  1. Jori Vague (ft. Ave Often)  – Focus
    https://soundcloud.com/jorivague/focus
  2. Dua Lipa – New Rules (Alison Wonderland Remix)
    https://open.spotify.com/track/5Fx2UrcQobzM1h2ihdhsmm?fo=1&utm_medium=share&utm_source=desktop&success=1#_=_
  3. MO – Nights with You (Nonsens Remix)
    https://soundcloud.com/momomoyouth/nights-with-you-nonsens-remix-free-download
  4. Musæus – Redbone + Tupac Mashup
    https://soundcloud.com/simen-musaeus/redbone-tupac
  5. Digital Farm Animals – True (Jay Pryor Remix)
    https://soundcloud.com/thefallingappleremixes/digital-farm-animals-true-jay-pryor-remix
  6. PLS&TY – Run Wild
    https://soundcloud.com/pls-ty/plsty-run-wild
  7. Kill Them With Colour – Always Somethin
    https://soundcloud.com/killthemwithcolour/alwayssomethin
  8. GUAP BEATS – Bad And Boujee X Super Freak Full Mashup
    https://soundcloud.com/guapbeats/bad-and-boujee-x-super-freak-full-mashup
  9. Drake – Sweeter Man
    https://soundcloud.com/1800_n_yo_mamas_crib/drake-sweeter-man
  10. Party Next Door – Break from Toronto (Old, but still #vibes)
    https://soundcloud.com/eloseeoh/party-next-door-break-from

Happy Monday from 4E!!

Music/GIF Source: soundcloud.com, spotify.com, giphy.com

6 Things I Learned About Georgetown While Abroad

Did I mention I studied abroad?

Step off of the Hilltop and outside of the Georgetown Bubble, and you will find many things to learn, do and see. The decision to “study” abroad was undoubtedly one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life.  Even so, the Hilltop certainly had me homesick: Georgetown has so many incredible things to offer; from expert faculty to your first New South pregame.

One of the strange parts about being abroad was learning about Georgetown. In fact, there are many things about my home university that I only realized after going to Milan. Some were good things, and others, not so much…

  1. We all like to poke fun at and react excessively to the swarms of  students smoking outside of Lau. Emerging from Lau, you may find yourself in a situation like this:Instead, the EXACT depiction of what students do in Europe is below. They are the real smokers: they don’t just do it to look cool, but they actually like cigarettes. Get ready for secondhand smoke.In reality, we don’t have much to complain about as non-smokers at Georgetown, since it seems most smokers here don’t fall into the latter category. We are nowhere near as threatened by secondhand smoke at Georgetown as we complain we are.
  2. Our coffee on campus is TERRIBLE. Paying at minimum $3.00 for burnt and stale coffee is not ever justifiable. I don’t even know if stale is an appropriate way to describe coffee, but I shouldn’t have to wonder. Case in point: my abroad university in Italy had vending machines that made better coffee than our campus baristas. Just another thing that machines do better. Since caffeine is such an important part of the student experience in college, its time to up our game.
  3. We need to give more credit to how beautiful and put-together our campus is. Campuses in the states are exceptional; from the manicured lawns, to the behind-the-scenes campus planning, to the sense of ownership the students take, it’s hard to not appreciate how much we’ve got. Instead, even my (nice and relatively expensive) Italian university had graffiti and was not managed nearly as well as Georgetown. Construction definitely gets old on campus, but it’s always for the better (except maybe the Thompson Center and the architectural disaster that is Lau).

    A tulip endowment is good for ~something~.
  4. You’re much more likely to feel supported at Georgetown than anywhere else. While we like to complain about stress and sub-par faculty at many points in our academic careers, try having a class whose syllabus doesn’t even tell you who your teacher is or where your class meets. At least we have capable (i.e. non-tenured) faculty that know what they’re doing. I complain about preregistration results as much as the next person, but try having not one, but two of your classes cancelled for good two weeks into the semester. How do students at a university that does that function (answer: they don’t)?
  5. WE HAVE SO MUCH MORE WORK. European academics are in fact whack. In all cases, I had just one assignment for each one of my classes: an oral final exam. At Georgetown, we have countless tests, multiple midterms, homework, essays, group projects (the list goes on).
    @everday during months-long midterm “season”

    The moral of the story is that Georgetown is perhaps harder than it really needs to be.

  6. Our campus and neighborhood is even less lit than we realize. Doesn’t need much explanation.

    The ONLY establishment with the name “bar” in it within a mile of Georgetown.
Alcatraz Club, a Milanese mainstay, doesn’t even need people to be lit.

Did I mention I studied abroad?

 

Photos/Gifs: tumblr.com, giphy.com, otnemea.com, flickr.com, residentadvisor.net

 

The Five Stages of Studying for Finals

Congratulations! You just finished classes for the spring semester. You’re feeling pretty relieved and successful. But now the real fun begins: FINALS. In case you’ve forgotten since December what this season feels like, here are the five stages of studying for finals.

  1. You look at the calendar. You have time. Papers aren’t due for a week, and you don’t have an exam tomorrow. You can relax a bit.
  2. ~Five minutes later~ you’re running to Lau, with every book you own stuffed in your backpack, trying to decide whether or not you have time to stop at Midnight, because you just realized how much work needs to go into not failing out  passing all the exams and papers you feel breathing down your neck.
  3. Day Four. No wait is it Day Three? Days no longer exist; just due dates. Morale is low. You just spent 2 hours procrastinating at Leo’s and it wasn’t even Chicken Finger Thursday. Next thing you know, you wind up in the middle of the stacks on Lau 5 without a cubicle or any progress on those three papers due in two days.
  4. Then suddenly, you hit your stride. One sentence after another appears in your Word document, decades of history are memorized like Kendrick’s new lyrics and you think maybe, just maybe, you’ll survive finals week and even do well pass.
  5. You show up to your final exam wearing whatever you slept in two nights ago, barely able to keep your eyes open and thinking you might not make it. But then you manage to stay awake for a whole two hours and finish your last final. You leave the ICC nearly in tears and contemplate falling asleep in the middle of Red Square. But who cares, you’re finished! Now all you have to do is pack.

Good luck, and may the odds be ever in your favor!

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, nfo.georgetown.edu

The Seven Personalities At Recruiting Events

Believe it or not, recruiting for internships in banking for the summer of 2018 is already starting. Yes, while some of us can barely find jobs (or pretty much anything to do) for this summer, the aspiring bankers of the Class of 2019 are already on the hunt for the summer internships that will, hopefully, turn into post-graduation jobs. In other news, here’s an accurate picture of my current status for next summer:

Fortunately for many students, the search for summer 2018 internships doesn’t start until a reasonable point sometime in the late fall or early spring. However, I actually attended a recruiting session and had the opportunity to really take a look at the people who surrounded me. For those of you who have never been to a recruiting event, here are some of the people you should expect to encounter.

1. The Classic MSBro
Majors: Finance and Accounting.
Minors: Econ, Math and networking like nobody’s business.

His first word was “money” and his eyes have been on Goldman Sachs from when he first researched the starting salaries of bankers (that is, the age of six).  A true go-getter, don’t expect him to take his eyes off the presenter. Also, don’t even think about trying to talk to him; he’s in the zone, which only has room for himself and the recruiters. He’ll be the first to jump out of his seat to talk to the professionals and tout his summer internship in his dad’s friend’s wife’s office downtown. Afterward, he’ll ask you what you thought of the information session. If you’re the non-finance type like me, you’ll probably look something like this:

2. The Classic MSB*tch
Majors: Finance and Accounting
Minor: Slaying the business professional game.

Straightened hair, polished glasses and an outfit that’s sharp AF, she’ll stroll into the information session and cast her eyes across the room as she surveys the competition. Expect to feel small and judged in her presence. On the prowl for that internship, she poses a threat to the MSBros in the room so you might to be able to detect some ~tension~. Fully aware of her prominence and intimidation, she owns it and takes a seat in the front row on the opposite side of the aisle from the MSBro. The MSB*tch serves as a clear reminder that the business world is not just for men.

3. College Crossovers
Major: Government and/or English

You might find yourself sitting next to someone who happens to be in the College. If they’re a Government and/or English major, then what are they doing at an information session for banking? The MSBros and MSB*tches glare in their direction, and you know they are surely staring down the competition. You discover that although your new acquaintance takes interest in non-business affairs, he/she has resigned himself/herself to working in the world of finance for the purpose of “making bank” (#getit?). Although you pity them for giving up on their major, you also admire them for their determination to fiscally succeed in life after Georgetown. Other reasons for their decision on banking may include following their family into the industry, to which you relate, so you decide to keep your seat next to your new friend.

4. The SFS Hardos
Majors: International Economics or International Political Economy

You may notice conversations taking place in multiple foreign languages. There is no doubt that some, if not most, of these students had better résumés as high school freshmen than you will as a Georgetown senior. They probably already have plans to climb the corporate hierarchy and totally revamp the company’s policies in the first two years after graduation. Meanwhile, you’re just hoping to not be fired and maybe even have some form of a significant other at that point in your life. Somehow, their career in banking relates to their ultimate life goals of becoming Secretary-General of the U.N. and/or President of the United States (after being CEO of the bank, of course).

5. The Unsure
Major: Undecided, duh.

Here is where you find yourself (or maybe that’s just me). You heard through the weekly email update from your respective school that a bank is coming to Georgetown that employs several alumni from your school. You do some research and find out that there’s actually something within the bank relevant to your major! You show up and quickly realize that this information session was geared more toward the financial-minded students, but you stay put out of respect and curiosity. You’ve never learned this much about the finance world because your Econ professor can’t keep your attention for more than five minutes, so you might as well try to pay attention now!

6. The Returning Students

Sitting in the front of the event, there are probably a few younger-looking professionals who happen to be students that have already signed with the company for a post-graduation job. Slightly uncomfortable yet also humored by the number of underclassmen scrambling for their former positions, these students amble around the room while the go-getters rush up to them and ask them about their favorite and least favorite parts of the company. These students are probably hoping to GTFO and head to Tombs ASAP.

7. Apathetic Wanders
Major: Mystery

As the last of the students file in as the session starts, a bright color catches your eye in the back. A single student, a lone ranger wanders in wearing a big, fat Hawaiian shirt. Completing the outfit with shorts and flip flops, he/she takes the absolute last spot in the room and leans against the wall. As soon as the presentation ends and the floor opens up for networking, your hero disappears from sight as he/she books it.

Happy recruiting season, Hoyas! May the odds be ever in your favor (and not that of the person sitting next to you).

Photos/Gifs: giphy.com, usa network.com