What to Do After Getting Rejected from Piano Bar

After everyone’s favorite grimy bar got raided a few too many times and decided to be a whole lot pickier about who they let in, a lot of underage Georgetown students are left wondering – what next? Where else can I spend my Wednesday nights partying? Is there another spot I can flock to on a typical dead Georgetown Friday night? While no one has come up with a perfect solution yet, here are 4E’s 7 alternatives to Piano Bar.

  1. If you’re still looking to go out and have a good time, try Chi Di! What’s one rejection when you can have two in one night? Have you gotten a little too comfortable with your fake? Definitely give it a go despite multiple texts reporting cops surrounding the club.
  2. A rejection from Chi Di not enough to kill your party mood? The next move is a random club in downtown DC. You’re guaranteed to meet people almost twice your age, and if you wait in line long enough, you might even get to realize that Ultra is not nearly as large as they make it out to be. 
  3. However, if you’re a homebody and trying to stay near campus, why not try CVS on Wisconsin? I’m not kidding; this place is a goldmine. They have everything from snacks, to makeup, to Donald Trump shot glasses!
  4. Why not make it an early night at Epi? Sometimes Epi is more lit than the party (or in this case, Piano) itself. You’re guaranteed to see at least one person you know (and you know you wanted that quesadilla more than you wanted to be sweating it out on the dirty dance floor of Piano anyway).
  5. If you’re the typical Georgetown student who likes to talk about how much work they have, but never actually does it, why not spend the extra time studying? I hear (but don’t know from personal experience) Lau is open 24 hours a day. You can probably get some quality work done, considering your of age peers will be enjoying the bar you couldn’t get into. 
  6. Go to bed. Literally every single time I ask someone how they’re doing, they say tired. Instead of taking laps around Piano and waiting for the bartender to notice you until 2 AM, why not get some quality sleep in? Maybe the next day you won’t have to ban your roommate from drying her hair so that you can nap (sorry, Chiara!). 
  7. Stay in! Why risk it? It’s much safer to be caught partying by your RA than by the police. Grab some friends and have a good old sleepover filled with rounds of “Never Have I Ever” and “Truth or Dare.” I promise you’ll learn more about them that way than shouting over Piano’s sometimes cringey, sometimes decent music. These are just a few ideas for what you can do after being rejected from Piano, but feel free to explore other alternatives. Whatever you decide, 4E hopes you stay safe out there in this newly dangerous Georgetown bubble.

Gifs: giphy.com

Georgetown Buildings and the Hoyas You Find in Them

Welcome back to the Hilltop, Hoyas! With the first full weeks of classes upon us, you are likely still navigating your way to new buildings and classes, trying to get the hang of your new schedule. From debatably fictitious buildings like Maguire (pro-tip: it’s connected to Healy), to St. Mary’s – located even farther away than Darnall, to the labyrinth affectionately known as the ICC, to spaces within buildings that have their own designations (Sellinger Lounge?) – Georgetown seems to pride itself on the complexity of its campus layout. Alongside simply figuring out where your classes are and how you can get to them, you should also know the secrets required to assimilate into each building’s culture. Fear not—4E presents you with a quick analysis of the types of people that characterize some of the most popular buildings on campus.

Regents Hall

If the students around you look like they spent the night here, it is probably because they did. The aesthetic is pants, long sleeves, and closed-toe shoes, easily accessorized with lab goggles and a white coat. Lab chic, amiright? Safety is beauty. You know that you are in the right place if you are overhearing an excessive number of acronyms and words that may or may not be in the English language. Looking to fit in? Tell someone that you spent the afternoon doing a lab involving <insert long and complicated made-up word> acid.

Buzzwords: Erlenmeyer flask, formal lab report, pipette, preliminary plan of action, fume hood.

The ICC

Making their way around one of Georgetown’s most iconic and confusing buildings are Bill Clinton-esque prodigies, people whispering to themselves in languages other than English and an understandably large number of people who are utterly lost. You will likely come across some upshot nice students engaged in a heated argument with a PhD-armed professor who is kindly indulging their arrogant interesting ideas.

Buzzwords: proficiency test, pro-seminar, Map of Modern World, and an excessive number of acronyms that are oddly pronounced as words (STIA [stee-yah], IPEC [eye-peck], IPOL [eye-pole], IECO [echo???]) so as to fool all of us common folk not in the SFS [ess-effffffffU-ess].

MSB

You will feel immediately self-conscious upon entering the looming home of the infamous MSBros (and betches!). Surrounded by suit-clad students, you are well aware that you should have worn something other than your go-to cozy Lau-fit for class. Is one’s understanding of “Business Casual” attire considered in the business school admissions process? Very likely, yes.

While you may have been “shhh-ed” merely upon entering the MSB and your new MSBuds might be a little intimidating, don’t worry – underneath their layers of unnecessary dress clothes, the Georgetown MSB-ers tend to be friendly and dependable.

Buzzwords: finance (pronounced: “fen-ants”), interest rates, money and internship.

Reiss

Upon first glance, the inhabitants of Reiss may seem a little downtrodden: under-eye bags are all the rage, the parade in and out of large pre-med lectures appears slightly ominous and students are carting around textbooks large enough to justify foregoing weightlifting at Yates. However, look a little further and you’ll see students passionately gesticulating to each other to explain cool biological processes. You may even find new friends in the peaceful science-nerd oasis commonly known as the Blommer Research Library. Under Reiss’s crumbling (and questionably earthquake safe) façade is a group of passionate, dedicated and proudly nerdy individuals.

Buzzwords: pre-med prereq.’s, Born-Haber Cycle, R-group interactions, electronegativity, proof and lecture-capture.

Car Barn

The designation “CBN” on student schedules is sure to elicit groans as Car Barn is a full FOUR minutes farther than any other location on our ENORMOUS campus (sarcasm aside, I am groaning along with you all).

There are two primary types of Hoyas to be found in the infamous Car Barn. The first category of students is there for Einstein Bagel’s. A large number of students might be observed double-fisting bagels, eager to use a meal swipe at Einstein’s and substitute a bagel AND a smoothie for Leo’s questionable scrambled eggs.

The second group of Hoyas is involved in a Study Abroad program. You will find students excitingly chattering about their experiences studying or plans to study in exotic locations. My personal theory is that the Office of Global Education chose their Car Barn location knowing full well that students who recently spent time on the other side of the globe think nothing of walking a few blocks off of campus.

Buzzwords: strawberry-banana smoothie, “toasted, please,” language requirement and study proposal form.

Photos/gifs: giphy.com

Presidential Debate Drinking Game

Drinking game

To be blunt, we at The Fourth Edition are just plain sick of this year’s Presidential Election season. November 8th just cannot come fast enough. Luckily, tonight will bring us one step closer to Election Day. Ladies and gentlemen, the final Presidential Debate will be coming to you live from Las Vegas, Nevada on October 19 from 9:00 PM – 10:30 PM.

If the debate will be anything like the previous two, it may call for a tall glass of, uh, “water.” Check out our guide to drinking your way to Election Day, if you’re 21+ of course.

Our game will be broken up into 6 categories that mirror the 6 topics on the table tonight.

Immigration-
Drink when Trump mentions that big ole wall of his.

Drink when Hillary mentions “comprehensive immigration reform” again, and again, AND AGAIN.

Entitlements and Debt-
Our country is in debt. Big time. However, both Trump and Clinton have been conspicuously avoiding talking about the federal deficit. 4E’s advice is to actually pay attention for these 15 minutes, or at least until Hillary mentions eradicating student loans or Donald starts yelling. Or maybe Hillary will mention those cat gifs she loves watching so much.

Oh Hillary, you have so much whimsy.

The Supreme Court-
Drink anytime either candidate mentions their “short list.”

Drink if Trump applauds the Republican senators promise to block any Hillary Clinton Supreme Court Justice nominee.

The Economy-
Upon hearing “TTP” from either candidate, immediately go refill your glass.

Baby sips of that drink whenever Trump mentions “China” or “keeping jobs in the USA.”

Drink when Clinton calls for tax cuts for middle class, equal pay for women and simultaneously quotes her BFF Michelle Obama’s now famous speech from last week regarding the rights of women in America.

*shimmy shimmy shimmy*

Foreign Policy-
Drink if Trump says we have to “Make America Safe Again,” bomb ISIS first and definitely not let any refugees into our country.

Drink if Hillary sticks to her promise to honor the Iran Nuclear Deal and slyly mentions that she was the Secretary of State.

Fitness to serve as President-
Drink if Donald mentions that he called for a both he and Clinton to be drug tested before tonight’s debate.

Drink when Hillary turns a cartwheel on stage in an effort to prove how physically fit she is.

Drink Responsibly!!

Images: http://bit.ly/2dr4FWt, giphy.com

Initiation By Fire: The Levels of Lau

The Levels of Lau

Maybe you find Lau endearing – its white cinderblock walls, mysterious plethora of locked doors, and lack of windows inspire productivity in you – or maybe you can only be lured in by study groups unwilling to relocate to more scenic locations. In my first four weeks on the Hilltop, I have learned – through trial and error (mostly error) – the distinct personalities that characterize the five floors of the sprawling, Brutalist concrete monstrosity that is Lauinger Library.

Level 5

If Level 4 is already a quiet floor, what purpose does Level 5 serve? What kind of desire for concentration merits walking up two flights of stairs to get to 5? I have dared to venture onto this floor solely for the investigative purposes of writing this (highly informative) article.

Some helpful tips:
Talking: punishable by death
Using a computer keyboard: warrants dirty looks
Owning devices that emit beeps: unacceptable
Breathing: begrudgingly allowed

2

Level 4

The true quiet floor. The arrangement of red chairs near the elevator attempts to create a cozy aesthetic, but don’t be fooled by this homey illusion. Two weeks into the semester, I learned that NSO was indeed over when, whilst QUIETLY talking to my friend, I was asked to leave the fourth floor. To this studious upperclassman, whom I continue to see all too frequently, I am both apologetic – and still offended.

4E 1

Level 3

In terms of quietness, level 3 provides the perfect environment in which being a functional human being (breathing, moving, etc.) is acceptable, and loudly gossiping about someone else’s Friday night escapades is not.

However, the level three reading room presents two critical issues:

  • Memories of the hot sweaty awkwardness of Club Lau must be suppressed.
  • One must accept that this room is a fishbowl visible to any and all onlookers outside of Lau.

Level 2

Level two is a floor of temptation and lack of productivity. This floor is conducive to group “work” (collective procrastination) and is home to Midnight MUG, luring students away from their studies with the bait of sugary, caffeinated beverages. Floor two features an uncomfortably open space that raises dilemmas such as: is walking to Midnight MUG worth having EVERYONE stare at you?

Level 1

So far, the only useful thing here is that there is a bathroom that everyone didn’t just see you walk into (unlike Lau 2) or can hear you in (unlike all other floors).

“Basement”

The fact that Lau has a dungeon should be surprising to no one, considering the general level of enthusiasm that surrounds spending the day at Lau and the uncanny resemblance our library bears to a bomb shelter. This floor is surreptitiously referred to as “LL” in the elevators and is presumably where people who spill coffee, deface cubicles, and loudly eat chips in the third floor reading room are held captive.

It's basically a bunker...
It’s basically a bunker…

Images: giphy.com, blog.thehoya.com 

So You Need A Column Topic? 2.0

columnist fb cover

With applications for The Hoya’s fall 2016 columnists just released, 4E is here to help you get a little inspiration by giving you some examples of excellent column topics from the past.

First, here are some tips from last semester’s guide!

  • Write about a topic you’re familiar with. The best columns are those that focus on something about which the writer has genuine curiosity. Just look at Hoya Historian!
  • Make sure your topic is broad enough to span the entire semester, but not so broad that it can become scattered.
  • Be CREATIVE! There are some columns that cover topics such as identity or politics that are always good subjects to write about, but sometimes the great column ideas develop from seemingly simple ideas, like this one in the Guide about sandwiches. Try to think of a unique idea or have a different take on a topic we’ve already published.
  • If you have an idea you’re passionate about, run with it and see where it goes. The sky’s the limit!

The Guide

The Guide, which publishes once weekly, is looking for columnists to write every issue or every other issue. The wide scope of the Guide, which focuses on art, culture, lifestyle and entertainment, allows for a lot of creative freedom when coming up with column ideas. Just look at the variety among these sample columns about Kanye West, a columnist’s summer job and dating in college.

“What Yeezy Taught Me About Failure” – Daniel Smith

“The Woes of Summer Serving” – Nicole Jarvis

“Opting into the Dating Game” – The Cereal Dater

Opinion

An integral part of every issue, our opinion pages feature columns of an argument-based nature. Past themes have included identity, advice from seniors, neuroscience, foreign policy in the Middle East and politics. There is a multitude of ways through which the column can analyze an issue, including from a social, political, historical, statistical, educational or cultural point of view. Here are a few successful columns from last semester.

“It’s Good To Be Busy” – Rahul Desai

“The Buzz About ‘Lemonade’ “ – Femi Sobowale

“The Convoluted Kurdish Question” – Matthew Gregory

Sports

Sports columnists have the opportunity to delve into deeper analyses of team strategy, unpack the rivalries and controversies within the worlds of both professional and collegiate athletics, make predictions on future trades and match ups and comment on the relationship between sports and popular culture. Check out these excellent examples.

“Contracts Create Disputes” – Michael Ippolito

“Saunders Impacts Players” – Paolo Santamaria

“Sports Figures Overrepresented On Campuses” – Jimmy McLaughlin

We hope these examples help! The Hoya is always looking for innovative and talented writers like you, so please apply here by 11:59 p.m., August 27th!

Images: giphy.com

Summer Classes Abroad are the Worst…

Summer Classes Abroad are the Worst

One of our very own 4E bloggers has jetted off to the land of love, lights and (most importantly) wine. Her experiences abroad have been challenging and tiresome, but she has managed to push through to blog about her experiences.

Reader Discretion Advised: Article may contain references to pastries, cheese and lack of homework. 

The words “summer” and “classes” shouldn’t go together; summer is best spent tanning, not studying. But since I chose to study abroad in Tours & Paris this summer, I’ve taken some time out of wine tasting, chateaux visiting, walking along the Seine, and (I guess) class to compile a list of the worst parts about taking summer classes abroad (in my experience, France).

Classes. A few hours of classes in French everyday can be pretty tiring, but the worst classes are the wine tastings. Especially when bread and cheese are included.

~class~

Field Trips. Remember those things? Soooo middle school. Really, half a day at Versailles? A tour of The French National Assembly? Meeting the French Minister of Foreign Affairs? The worst.

~footage from our field trip~

The Homework.

 

The People. Meeting new people is always hard, but meeting people then having to spend six weeks in France with them is just the worst. Does anyone really want to walk along the Seine, laughing in the rain?

 

The National Pride. France, why did you have to host the Euro Cup this year? Everyone getting super hyped about soccer football? Where is the national pride for the Olympics trials?

And finally, the food.
In France, you can have….

A different cheese every day of the year.


Gelato galore.

And don’t even get me started on the bread.

Ugh, summer classes are the worst… But in all seriousness, there’s no better way to learn about a culture than by studying abroad. Whether you want to take courses over the summer or the school year, I cannot stress enough to you that one MUST study abroad. No matter where you choose to plant yourself for 6 weeks to 5 months, learn and embrace all that your ~host~ country has to offer!

Gifs: giphy.com, http://bit.ly/2avuxDa

Horrors from the Intern Desk

internship horror stories

As August approaches, 4E reached out to some interning Hoyas to see how everyone’s summer has been going. What we found terrified us. Turns out that the internships that we slaved all year round to earn came with a few… quirks.
Jack Miller

Read all about our favorite intern horror stories below!

Note: Stories have been edited for grammar only. Anonymity has been granted to all contributors in the effort to preserve hard-earned reputations and dignity upon their return to the Hilltop in the fall. 

  1. Just like in the middle school cafeteria, your seating choice may make or break you.
    “The guy who sits at the desk behind me clips his nails once a week. I have to put headphones in to drown out the noise.”
  2. Hard Truth of Growing Up: Sometimes, mom won’t be right.
    “On my first day at my internship, my mom convinced me to not bring lunch because ‘Everyone will go out together!’ So I didn’t. I ended up sitting in a secluded room separate from the group of 25 interns. I decided to be brave and strolled right in there. Being my friendly self, I asked if anyone wanted to grab lunch. There was no response – not even a ‘Maybe tomorrow.’ Felt like a f****** moron.”
  3. The fashion world was, in fact, accurately depicted in “The Devil Wears Prada.”
    “My email is “intern1″ because in fashion, you don’t get a name.”
  4. When you’re an intern, you are everyone’s last priority.
    “One day, both of my bosses didn’t show up until 3 p.m. because they went to a meeting. This would have been fine, except that they didn’t tell me. I did nothing for six hours.”
  5. Intensive labor is NOT out of the question.
    “One of my jobs is to ensure that there is a pitcher of lemon water on my boss’ desk every morning. I cut and peel the lemons myself. He only accepts fresh squeezed.”
  6. You better ~lose yourself~
    “Someone in my office who I don’t know just calls me “Intern”. When I finally met him, I accidentally said “Hi, I’m Intern” instead of my name.”
  7. Not everyone is, ahem, politically correct. 
    “I [a strong independent woman] got a “You can’t be in finance! You must be on the marketing team!” last week. I can’t decide if that’s a compliment, sexual harassment or gender discrimination.”
  8. And finally, no one is safe from the refrigerator rascals of the world. 
    “Someone ate my lunch last week. I was very sad.”
    We all know what happened next…

We hope the rest of you have much better internship stories to tell this fall!

Gifs/Images: giphy.com, Death Cab for Cutie, http://bit.ly/29DldO5

The Hoya’s Bunn Award Winners 2015-2016

Bunn Award Winners

Every May, the Center for Student Engagement gives out 18 Edward B. Bunn Awards for Journalistic Excellence to honor the best of student journalism at Georgetown, covering six categories: news, features, commentary, photo, sports and reviews. This year, The Hoya received 11 Bunn Awards across five categories. Along with The Hoya, other student publications including The Voice, The Independent and The Caravel were also recognized.

Please take a look at The Hoya’s winning pieces for the 2015-2016 school year.

News

1st Place: “Facilities Workers Housed Overnight,” by Owen Eagan
2nd Place: “Demonstrators Address Demands to University,” by Ashwin Puri
3rd Place: “Profiling Claims Close Thread,” by Aly Patcher

Commentary

2nd Place: “The Life of Pebbles,” by Matthew Quallen

Features

1st Place- “A Life Lived Where the Wild Things Are,” by Molly Simio
2nd Place- “Remembering Scalia,” by Kshithij Shrinath

Reviews

1st Place- “This is Acting,” by Jinwoo Chong
2nd Place- “Mockingjay, Part 2,” by Daniel Almeida
3rd Place- “The Life of Pablo,” by Tom Garzillo

Photography

1st Place- “Demonstrators Address Demands to University,” photo by Daniel Smith
2nd Place- “Students Attend Vigil for Paris Attacks,” photo by Naaz Modan

Congratulations to all of those who received an award and for all of those who helped get these pieces to print!

Images: giphy.com, http://bit.ly/24AwxLz

Will Angelina Jolie teach at Georgetown?

Angelina Jolie Teaching at Gtown

Last week, the London School of Economics appointed four new visiting professors for their Centre for Women, Peace and Security program. One of those appointed was none other than screen legend/humanitarian Angelina Jolie! While this is a wonderful addition to LSE’s program and just one more thing Jolie can check off her already overflowing resume, we want to know when she will make it across the pond to Georgetown.

We love you too!

So 4E is here to give you the scoop! Could Jolie’s next teaching gig be on the Hilltop? In a statement to The Hoya, the Georgetown Institute for Women, Peace and Security emphasized their goal to collaborate with their sister program at LSE, which includes possibly bringing Jolie and Former UK Foreign Secretary William Hague – another of the center’s new professors – to Georgetown. In fact, GIWPS Executive Director Melanie Verveer reportedly met with Jolie during a recent trip to London.

Here is the institute’s full statement below:

The Georgetown Institute for Women, Peace and Security has enthusiastically supported the creation of the LSE Centre for Women, Peace and Security. We are ‘ sister’ programs on either side of the Atlantic with complementary missions – to study and highlight the roles of women in peace and security worldwide. We have been collaborating and are in discussions about how to forge a deeper partnership, given our unique strengths and shared goals. We look forward to, at some point, welcoming Angelina Jolie to Georgetown, and to welcoming former UK Foreign Secretary Hague back to The hilltop. In 2014, the Georgetown Institute for Women, Peace and Security awarded Foreign Secretary Hague with the Hillary Rodham Clinton Award for Advancing Women in Peace and Security for his dedicated leadership to prevent and respond to sexual and gender-based violence in conflict.”

While LSE may have Angelina Jolie for now, 4E thought it would be fun to see who else would make an awesome visiting professor at Georgetown.

Michael Scott: MGMT-200 Managerial Communication

 

Kanye West:  ECON-002 Econ Principles Macro

Project 1: How to get out of $53 million in personal debt?

Beyonce: WRIT-015 Writing and Culture 

Because when life gives you lemons…

 

Leslie Knope: GOVT-237 Education/Politics/Policymaking

You will only get this if you watch Parks and Rec, but we are ready, Leslie Knope!

 

In all seriousness, we hope Georgetown keeps collaborating to bring the best and brightest minds to campus.  4E is here to keep you up to speed!

Images: giphy.com, http://bit.ly/1PjZSYY

Apply To Be A Columnist For The Hoya: Summer 2016

Apps Summer Columnist

Feeling a little bored already now that you have been away from the Hilltop for only two weeks? Do you miss all things Georgetown? Need something to fill up that old resume? Luckily, 4E has the solution for you! The Hoya will be taking applications for summer columnists and we want YOU to help us out! Why wouldn’t you want to take this opportunity to join such a prestigious publication?

We’re really classy.

The best part is that there are so many different sections to share your story on The Hoya. You can write for the the Opinion section, the Sports section, or the Guide, our arts and lifestyle section! Need some examples to get you feeling inspired? Luckily, 4E has those for you too!

We’re also just really excited.

The Guide: 

“There’s More Than the Glass Ceiling” By Kim Bussing

“Indoctrinated in Individualism” By Katherine Cienkus

Opinion: 

“Jinwoo: Party of Four” By Jinwoo Chong

Sports: 

“Red Sox-Yankees Rivalry Has Faded From the Spotlight” By Carolyn Maguire

“Pedro Martinez Was One of the Greatest Ever” By Jake Foote

Feeling motivated? Inspired? We thought so.  Please apply to be a summer columnist now for The Hoya and share your story. Articles will run from June through August.

P.S. 4E suggests you get to it as soon as possible! Apps are due by May 27th at midnight.