With the Spring Kick-Off concert fast approaching, I’m sure you’ve all been researching the two artists coming to campus, White Panda and Big Sean. Or at least you keep meaning to. If you’re musically challenged, you might not know who Big Sean is. The Fourth Edition is here to help you get your act together so that you don’t start screaming for Sean Connery and an SNL skit this Friday in McDonough. These Seans are NOT coming to campus:
1. Sean Kingston
A lot of his songs might start with, “Ayo Sean. You Mr. Kingston,” (da ti da ti da ti do do feelin’ like I’m letting go…) but he is not THE Big Sean. His songs might be pretty catchy and remind you of your middle school dance days but, sadly, he will not be coming to Georgetown.
2. Sean John aka Sean Combs aka Puff Daddy aka P Diddy
While he is another classic rapper, Sean John is not BIG Sean. Though Diddy and his Dirty Money have a multitude of names, Big Sean is not one of them.
3. Shaun White
Wrong! Wrong race, wrong hair color and wrong reason for being famous. If you thought that Big Sean was Shaun White you should probably just not come this weekend. But maybe you should venture out from the rock you’ve been living under. Shaun White might be a bad ass snowboarder with crazy style, but alas, he would probably not do well as our concert’s main act.
4. Sean Penn
Once again, if you were thinking that Big Sean was Sean Penn, you’re pretty off base. A famous actor and producer, Sean Penn is brilliant, but he should probably stick to the screen.
5. Shawn Johnson
OK so now we’ve hit the wrong gender and her name is even spelled differently. Trust me, I would pay decent money to see this girl perform some gymnastics, but I’m less enthused by the thought of her singing career. So good guess — not really — but Big Sean is not Shawn Johnson — in fact, she’s only 4’ 9” so maybe we’ll just dub her Little Shawn.
6. Sean Bean
While a fantastic actor — even though he dies in every role — Ned Stark, err Sean Bean, is not Big Sean. It would be nice to see Sean Bean at Spring Kick-Off so he could tell us winter is ENDING, but I wouldn’t hold your breath.
7. Sean Parker
You might only know him as the character Justin Timberlake plays in The Social Network, but unfortunately Sean Parker himself cannot sing “Sexy Back” as well as our boy J.T. I’m also going to say, he’s not nearly as fun to look at, but let’s be honest, who is?
8. Sean Lowe
He might be a cutie, and he actually married the girl he proposed to on the Bachelor —that’s refreshing — he’s not the guy you want for your concert. He’s a nice guy, unlike the most recent Bachelor Juan Pablo (don’t even get me started) but still, he’s not Big Sean.
If you still have no clue who Big Sean is, then you’re probably the type of person who sticks to the likes of Justin Bieber. That’s unfortunate. But Big Sean collaborated with Justin Bieber. Duh. So you still have no excuse.
Now that you know who Big Sean is NOT, you can go forth and research his songs so you can memorize his lyrics and make a fool of yourself attempting to rap along at the concert. If you need some help, look here for song recommendations! Don’t worry, the blog has your back.
Photo: www.am980.ca, http://en.wikipedia.org, http://www.picturesgoogle.com, http://jeweell.com, http://www.biography.com, http://www.fanphobia.net, http://dailyscene.com, http://www.lifenews.com