Amid finals season, the promise of this year’s basketball team under newly appointed head coach Patrick Ewing may be something to look forward to. Or perhaps not…
As someone whose GPA would suffer tremendously if athletics were part of the core requirement, you don’t really know what to make of the hype around this season. You were convinced to buy student season tickets by the incessant emails , but you’re not sure you made a wise investment. You once played basketball during eighth period P.E. in middle school, but your goal was primarily to jump and grab onto the net rather than to score. You honestly just want to get on the DanceCam. While it can be overwhelming for someone like you to understand at all what’s going on within 10 miles of the Verizon Center Capital One Arena, there is hope. You are ~not alone~. To help people like you, 4E presents our season predictions for the non-sports inclined:
Patrick Ewing will continue to look like a stock photograph for memes. While many are wondering what the former Hoya and NBA superstar will bring to the table as we head into conference play, one thing is certain: His meme potential is astronomical.
The student section will continue to look like we’re constantly in the middle of finals season. From the mumps outbreak to the never-ending midterms season to the existential crisis to be an #academic, it appears Hoyas are staying at home in increasing numbers.
Jack the Bulldog will lose his job to robots. As technology continues to leave humans jobless, what’s to say that this trend won’t spread to man’s best friend? Certainly, a robo-dog would be even better at riding a skateboard than an obese bulldog that pants at the thought of moving.
Rocket Bar will continue to be the main highlight for going to a basketball game. Honestly, when is this place not the main draw?
Hoya Blue will continue to make us look bad on national television. It seems as though the same six people sit in the front row at every game, looking confused and hopeless and realizing they made a grave mistake by buying another year of season tickets. Hopefully, the major television networks that make the mistake of broadcasting our games will pan to the empty parts of the stands, which present a better ~aesthetic~.
Capital One Arena’s chicken tenders will continue to outshine the new Leo’s. It’s unfortunate when $14.99 chicken fingers can outshine anything, but these babies do just that to our beloved only dining hall.
As the season gets into full swing, you’re now prepared to be ~on top of your game~! See you not at the game!
You’ve just awoken on a Saturday morning from a night you care not to remember. You head downstairs to your kitchen, and lo and behold, someone left you some ~gifts~ you didn’t expect — Burnett’s, your favorite pal!
Beyond excited to have ended up with only the best and most delicious drink to grace our campus, you suddenly realize it’s not what you expected. You got the reject flavors.
While Burnett’s is known for creating wild nights, but it should be more well-known for some of the ridiculous flavors the people who want to end Earth as we know it its creators have chosen to produce over the years.
Those flops are unfortunately the ones your oh-so-generous friends left behind for you, but all is not lost! 4E is here to help you make the best of the worst and give you suggestions on how to keep the debauchery going.
Here’s our advice on how to consume:
Cucumber Lime. It’s Corona and Lime for a reason. Nobody ever asked for this. Cucumber and lime classically go with gin, so this is just a meager, failed attempt to reinvent the laws of mixology. If you’ve ever smelled the stench from a stinkbug, it’s not so different from the way this flavor smells. Unfortunately, the only way to use this up is by covering up the taste in some sort of extreme jungle juice, where you can almost mask the flavor in your sorrows the taste of off-brand soda and random alcohols you found in the back of your fridge.
Maple Syrup. Aunt Jemima didn’t die for your sins so you could disrespect her delicious syrup by infusing it into an off-brand vodka. To be honest, this is like the Mrs. Butterworth’s of vodka: You simply are conditioned from birth to look down upon it and anyone that consumes it. If you’re ever ~low~ enough to actually buy this, you’ve hit rock bottom. However, this flavor is golden for a boozy brunch. Pour some into your syrup to get things started up for Homecoming or Georgetown Day — the more, the merrier.
Pumpkin Spice. It may be ~PSL SZN~, but that by no means justifies this atrocious flavor. There are some things that simply don’t go together, and pumpkin and vodka happen to be two of these things. If you ~need~ to find a way to rid yourself of pumpkin spice Burnett’s, there is only one way — mix it with other alcohol. Since it’s such a unique flavor, no sodas or other traditional chasers are going to work, so mix equal parts Burnett’s and Rumchata or Baileys, depending on your preference. Serve chilled as shots or a festive cocktail.
Orange. Just call GERMS right now. I’m 100% convinced that this actually isn’t vodka but rather Mr. Clean Orange Floor Cleaner. There is simply no way this stuff is suitable for human consumption — which is tough to believe since citrus Burnett’s theoretically should be similar but is exponentially better. In any case, you definitely want to mix this with fruit juice. Try mixing 1-part Burnett’s to 1-part cranberry juice to 1-part Triple Sec to 2-parts orange juice for a floor-cleaning take on a margarita!
Limeade. Lime is definitely not the worst flavor, but take Burnett’s Lime, add green food coloring and a bit of Windex, and you have Burnett’s Limeade! This flavor is pretty hard to come by nowadays, and that’s definitely okay by us at 4E. In any case, you’re definitely going to want to stick with citrus. This mixes decently well with lemonade (disclaimer: this is a drink, not a song by Beyoncé). You’ll probably want to forget you went so low as to purchase green vodka, so try 3-parts Burnett’s to 2-parts lemonade. Throw some colored sugar on the rim just to be ~fancy~, and there you have it!
While they’re nothing like Citrus or Pink Lemonade, let’s hope that these ideas will help you stay lit get your creative juices flowing!
If the competition to find a ticket were not fierce enough, the competition for the crowning of Mr. Georgetown Class of 2017 promises to be one of the fiercest ever. From its promises of song to dance to talents never before seen in Gaston Hall, this year’s lineup is sure to make the judges’ decision a difficult one.
Will they have you looking like this?
Or like this?
Without further ado, 4E presents your candidates for this year’s Mr. Georgetown Pageant:
Name: Navneet Vishwanathan, Mr. SAS
Hometown: Nanuet, N.Y.
Major: International Economics
What do you love most about your organization? The best thing about SAS is deep cultural involvement and the environment that it builds. SAS really is a home away from home because of how uniquely I’m able to relate to the community and express my heritage and upbringing with similar peers. On top of that, SAS does a great job of extending this to the greater Georgetown community through Rangila and other programs that allow me to share my background with everyone. All that and the food of course, food is the best. Food is good.
If you were to write an autobiography about your life so far, what would the title be? Not a biography, a cookbook. “Big Data, Baseball, and Masala: A guide to spicing up your regression models.”
What is your most beautiful feature? My beard. It’s my most distinguishing feature and TBH is pretty luscious. I shampoo it daily with a pineapple- and lemon-based beard wash with chunks to exfoliate. After that I use a pine-scented balm to tame and moisturize it.
Name: Matthew Amberger, Mr. GUGS
Hometown: Staten Island, N.Y.
What do you love most about your organization? The thing that I love most about GUGS is the sense of community that permeates the club. Despite members having such varying backgrounds and career paths, we all share the common bond of loving barbecuing and eating delicious food.
What is your favorite meme in the Georgetown meme page? My favorite meme in the Georgetown meme page was the one that was actually directed at GUGS. It was at a time when it was popular to send a DM to any club/business asking something that people really didn’t know the answer to. In this case, it asked, “Why are our burgers so round?” I found this to be so funny because we get asked this question all of the time, and while the answer is obvious to our members, we realize our burgers definitely aren’t “normal.” The real answer to the question is that we are required to serve our burgers well-done, so by having them rolled into a ball, they can stay juicy while still being a full meal.
If you were to write an autobiography about your life so far, what would the title be? The autobiography title would be “Yes, but Without the H.” I can’t count the amount of times that I’ve introduced myself and people thought my last name was actually hamburger. To be fair, for the past three years I’ve been in a club dedicated to making burgers, so it’s very fitting, but this funny interaction has been around since I was in kindergarten. While many things have changed since the first time it happened, this little joke has been one of the few constants in my life.
Name: Austin Rose, Mr. Club Soccer
Hometown: Frederick, Md.
What do you love most about your organization? Soccer has always been an important part of my life, and I love getting to play with a great group of guys at Georgetown. Admittedly, I peaked in my middle school rec league, but I still like to get out there to stretch my legs for a solid 10 minutes before returning to the bench.
What is your favorite meme in the Georgetown meme page? The “send nukes” meme. I really respect Jawad for actually sending the message to professor Kroenig, and I think such healthy dialogue between a progressive student and an outspoken neocon represents what Georgetown is all about.
If you were to write an autobiography about your life so far what would the title be? “The Chronicles of Yeah Boiiii.” I’m a very upbeat and enthusiastic person, and every once and a while I like to let out a big old “Yeah Boiiii” when I’m feeling high on life. I also really identify with the Yeah Boiii Youtube legend, and have been practicing for years to emulate his tone and endurance.
Name: Ari Goldstein, Mr. JSA
Hometown: San Francisco, Calif.
What do you love most about your organization? I love how good JSA is at including and celebrating the diversity that exists within Georgetown’s Jewish community. Some Hoyas identify as cultural Jews, some as religious Jews, others as spiritual Jews, and still others as political Jews or familial Jews, but JSA has always treated this diversity as our strength, fostering a culture of both dialogue and celebration. I actually think that’s no small feat for an organization that’s supposed to represent an entire community. Also, we have monthly brunches with bagels and lox, which is my other favorite thing.
If you were to write an autobiography about your life so far what would the title be? I’d probably call it “National Treasure: Book of Secrets,” for obvious reasons.
Who is your favorite Georgetown alum? Definitely Benjamin Franklin Gates, AKA Nicolas Cage’s character in the “National Treasure” movies. There’s no way he could have stolen the Declaration of Independence without studying American history (and maybe stealing the clock hands?) at Georgetown.
Name: Matt Linz, Mr. Club Swim
Hometown: Randolph, N.J.
What do you love most about your organization? There’s a pretty strong sense of community. It runs the whole spectrum; we all bond for 10 hours driving to Club Swimming Nationals in Atlanta every April, but we also ask each other for feedback on memes.
What is your most beautiful feature? Maybe my sense of humor … but probably my butt. Hopefully that’ll explain itself during the group dance portion of Mr. Georgetown!
Who is your favorite Georgetown alum? Jackie Kennedy Onassis. I love how gracefully she carried herself. I think it’s a little-known fact that she took continuing education classes in American history here. My favorite high school teacher instilled in me a fondness for president and president-adjacent factoids; I have a head full of trivia.
Name: Max Wolfgang Rosner, Mr. Knights of Columbus
Hometown: South Side of Chicago, Ill.
What do you love most about your organization? It’s the only organization — at least that I know of — that works toward social justice and views a sheathed sword as a socially acceptable fashion accessory.
What is your most beautiful feature? My calves. Louis XIV believed a strong, toned, hairy set were the pinnacle of beauty. I got to play the Sun King for a dance performance in my French history course last semester. It was a liberating experience.
Who is your favorite Georgetown alumn? Trevor McLean. (Disclosure: Trevor McLean is a judge for Mr. Georgetown 2017.)
Name: Dan Fain, Mr. Ultimate Frisbee
Hometown: Madison, Wis.
What do you love most about your organization? I love that for four hours every week I get to practice with my best friends and forget about everything else going on in my life.
What is your most beautiful feature? My calves. Fourteen years of Irish dance have sculpted them well.
Who is your favorite Georgetown alum? Preston B. Whitmore. It’s hard to beat someone who rediscovered the lost city of Atlantis.
Name: Tyler Kranawetter, Mr. GIVES
Hometown: Laguna Hills, Calif.
What do you love most about your organization? I love the inclusive atmosphere of friends GIVES creates. Anyone can join and be my friend, and I’m always desperate for more friends.
What is your most beautiful feature? My blue eyes because my parents both have brown, so I am genetically very lucky I ended up with them.
Name: Ben Costanza, Mr. Phantoms
Hometown: Rochester, N.Y.
What do you love most about your organization?As a musical style, a cappella is incredibly unique, as it promotes both individualism and community. Each person is responsible to have a complete mastery of his or her own part; however, that part is meaningless by itself. Only when sung with those of the other group members does it gain true value — and become art. Regarding the Phantoms specifically, we sing “Like a Prayer” by Madonna sometimes, and that’s pretty fun.
What is your favorite meme in the Georgetown meme page? This one because it has the least amount of likes, making it the most exclusive and therefore the most valuable.
Who is your favorite Georgetown alum? It’d have to be a three-way tie between Leo O’Donovan (for his hall’s chicken fingers), Antonin Scalia (for his Supreme Court appointment capping off an evolution of the social and political standing of Italian-Americans in the United States), and my friend Ed Crotty (for telling funny jokes).
Name: Cameron Perales, Mr. APO
Hometown: Laguna Hills, Calif.
Major: History/Classical Studies
What do you love most about your organization? What I love most about APO is that we’re a family of people who are committed to helping others as best we can. Service to others is at the core of what we stand for as an organization, and its truly rewarding to see the impact we can have on our community, and that impact brings us together in a deep and authentic way.
What is your favorite meme in the Georgetown meme page? This one. Why? Because traffic on the 5 and the 405 are a way of life. #WestCoastBestCoast
What is your most beautiful feature? Once my middle school nurse abruptly paused in the middle of talking to me about my broken thumb, held up my entire hand and examined it for a long 30 seconds. After she finished she said with a tinge of jealousy that I have perfect nail buds. So I guess I have that going for me, which is nice.
Name: Danny Frumento, Mr. NSO
Hometown: Valley Stream, N.Y.
What do you love most about your organization? NSO has the ability to shape new students like no other organization on campus can. Someone’s experience in NSO can completely shape the rest of their time at Georgetown. The friends they make and the memories they share will be lifelong, and it was an honor being able to have a hand in impacting so many new students and families’ lives.
What is your favorite meme in the Georgetown meme page? I’m a lonely soul, and sometimes a fella needs some love.
If you were to write an autobiography about your life so far, what would the title be? “It’s Been Downhill From There: A Story of How I Peaked in High School” … because I peaked in high school.
Name: Nick Na, Mr. FOCI
Hometown: Atlanta, Ga.
Major: International Political Economy
What do you love most about your organization? Everybody’s going to probably say “I love my organization because community” or “it’s the people” or maybe they’ll even throw in the casual “cura personalis.” I’m going to be edgy and say I love FOCI for its fo-love for fo-puns because fo-tastic focians are fo-eva using them at all our focials. fofofofofofofofo.
What is your most beautiful feature? I’d have to say my most attractive feature is my big toe. Back in Atlanta, they used to call my toe “biggie smalls” because it’s the biggest of all my small toes. Its sensual curvature and mellifluous scent can even excite old ladies on New Jersey beaches.
If you were to write an autobiography about your life so far, what would the title be? “Pretty Boy Swag.” Self-explanatory.
Name: Max Hartley, Mr. GOLD
Hometown: Cincinnati, Ohio
What do you love most about your organization? GOLD (or Georgetown Opportunities for Leadership Development) is a great organization designed to help young people on campus blossom into well-balanced and capable leaders. What I love most about GOLD is being able to see every person who joins GOLD grow as both a leader and person as well as apply what they learn in their other activities.
What is your favorite meme in the Georgetown meme page? As an RHO worker, I can’t say this is a direct quote from my resume, but what I can say is that working at the RHO has provided me a vast array of both technical and people skills that are unparalleled through any other on-campus experience.
If you were to write an autobiography about your life so far, what would the title be? “Living Life to The Max,” because who wouldn’t want their autobiography to then become a made for TV Disney movie with the movie title already included. I guess I also like having no regrets, but that is strictly secondary.
Name: Jesse McNeill, Mr. Outdoor Ed
Hometown: Chevy Chase, Md.
Major: Environmental Biology
What do you love most about your organization? Chill peeps. Good vibes.
What is your most beautiful feature?I have a 1.7-inch nipple hair. Very impressive.
If you were to write an autobiography about your life so far, what would the title be? “Why Am I Sweating? A Memoir.”
Name: Alex Roberds, Mr. Pep Band
Hometown: St. Louis, Mo.
Major: Regional and Comparative Studies
What do you love most about your organization? I know you’ll get a lot of this, but I love the community that pep band creates for its members. I love being in a group that cares so much about Georgetown, music, and each other.
What is your favorite meme in the Georgetown meme page?It has to be this one. I think most people can relate to this one. I think it could say “three hours later” and it would still work for Georgetown. People are very passionate about their political beliefs, which can lead to some serious (and often entertaining) debates.
What is your most beautiful feature?Definitely my eyes. I’ve never been able to get a consensus on what color my eyes are. I get a variety of answers, most typically blue or green (or both), sometimes hazel and even gray. Regardless of what color they are on any given day, though, you’re certain to get lost in them.
Name: Johnathan Marrow, Mr. Philodemic
Hometown: Princeton, N.J.
What do you love most about your organization? In the Philodemic, we take ideas as seriously as we take people. Anyone can show up and argue on a side of our debate and we’re forced to listen and hear them out, to respond and engage. It’s a tradition we’ve been carrying on for 187 years: It never gets old and it’s always worthwhile. Plus, we dress fancy, have some funny titles, and we’re generally a bunch of radical conformist eccentrics. And I like to talk a lot.
Who is your favorite Georgetown alum? William Gaston, Georgetown’s first-ever student … and first-ever dropout. Also a U.S. congressman. Setting the standards for Hoyas since 1791.
What is your most beautiful feature? My modesty. It’s one of my best qualities ever. No one has better modesty than me.
Name: Larenz Griggs, Mr. BSA
Hometown: Atlanta, Ga.
What do you love most about your organization? I love how proud we are of our identities. Though everyone is different in some kind of way, we’re all one huge family at the end of the day, and that’s hard to come by.
Who is your favorite Georgetown alum? My favorite Georgetown alum is Ettian Scott, because he took me under his wing when I was an underclassman and helped me in numerous ways to maneuver throughout Georgetown. He is one of my closest friends, and we still stay in contact.
What is your most beautiful feature? My most beautiful feature is probably my unapologetically, outgoing/weird personality. Though I’m a student-athlete, most people I meet say I don’t fit the stereotype. I’m extremely silly and love to laugh. I’d also rather watch anime or “Game of Thrones” before watching ESPN. Not to mention, I enjoy poetry slams and going to jazz restaurants.
Name: Brian Bies, Mr. Escape
Hometown: Potomac, Md.
What do you love most about your organization? The people. There’s a story blog campaign on the ESCAPE Facebook page called “Essence of ESCAPE.” It is about sharing the stories, backgrounds, and experiences of the 42 Leaders part of this year’s Leaders (Team 27 Universe). They are relatively short posts, but they better illustrate how inspiring the ESCAPE community is to be a part of: 42 Posts, 42 Awesome Humans! I met my best friend on ESCAPE — ESCAPE brings people from all across campus, regardless of creed, faith or identity; it is wonderful to see the magic of ESCAPE in this way.
Who is your favorite Georgetown alum? I know, “National Treasure” is a movie and “Scandal” is a TV Show, but they epitomize how great Georgetown is: Ben’s love of history, wanting to do something greater than himself (#JesuitValues), and he is portrayed by the iconic Nicolas Cage. Olivia Pope is a badass (no other word for it), as she is passionate and determined: She developed her reputation as the best fixer in D.C. because she accomplishes what no one else can! Who doesn’t want to be like Kerry Washington/Olivia Pope?
What is your most beautiful feature? I just asked one of my housemates/best friend at Georgetown, Daniel Ernst, and he immediately said, “your eyes,” which is funny because I don’t actually know the color of my eyes! Depending on the circumstances, some people will say they are green, and others will say they are brown.
So, whose got your vote? Come out on Nov. 4 to find out who will be crowned ~King~.
Photos Courtesy of Georgetown Program Board; electricalalliance.org
Every semester, 4E is blessed with a brand new bunch of bloggers! From reading their applications, to laughing at with them during interviews, we had a blast getting to know these students. Learn more about our shining six new bloggers:
Jessica Lin (COL ’21)
Top 5 Best Shows for the Pre-Teen Soul
SpongeBob SquarePants. Objectively everyone’s cartoon of choice. Though some of us may have aged into Squidwards, we’ll always have a soft spot for the shrill yet endearing voice of Bikini Bottom’s most legendary resident. The show is currently on its 11th season. Are ye ready kids?
Drake & Josh. Teen comedy at its finest. We cackled over Josh’s wildly emphatic gestures, harbored a low-key (or even high-key) crush on Drake, and held a begrudging respect for Megan’s hilariously vindictive antics. If ever watching reruns, let’s all hope for the laugh tracks to drown out our reaction to Drake not receiving an invitation to his brutha’s wedding.
Zoey 101. Let’s admit it: we were all a little bitter when our high schools turned out to be nothing like PCA. Maybe it’s not too late to cruise past Healy in a Jet X scooter, though.
Avatar: The Last Airbender. Our OG guilty pleasure. We might have started it just for kicks, but Zuko won us over with his transition to the “good guys” side. Suck it, Fire Nation.
Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide. Ned, Cookie, Moze: name a more iconic trio. But this time, we probably weren’t too disappointed that our school experience was (hopefully) nothing like Ned’s.
Sam Shapiro (SFS ’21)
Top 5 Presidents I’d Like to Party With
Ike Eisenhower. He’s seen some things. I would definitely be down to hear some wild war stories. Also, he was a cheerleader at West Point. Actually, that’s kinda sus.
Warren G. Harding. Despite being one of the worst presidents of all time, Warren G. must have been the life of the party. He gambled away multiple sets of White House china. He was infertile though, also kinda sus.
Ronald Reagan. I’m talking Hollywood Ronny, SAG President Ronny, vintage Eureka College Ronny. Definitely not War on Drugs Ronald. Definitely not.
John F. Kennedy. He’s so handsome. Like so handsome. Partying with JFK means partying with Jacky O and partying with Marilyn Monroe: two things I’m surely here for.
Donald Trump. lmao jk.Bill Clinton. This may be the biggest no-brainer of all time. Have we ever had a president so charming. Fuck, have we ever had an American so charming? At some point during the night he’s gonna whip out the saxophone. Then, it’s really going down.
Zayna Nassoura (COL ’20)
Top 5 Pillars of My Life
Long Beach Island. I have been going to LBI for as long as I can remember. It’s part of the Jersey Shore but nothing at all like the tv show. It’s a quaint little island with lots of small shops and art. My time there includes biking, picking up my morning coffee and, of course, Wawa.
O’Bagel. If you’ve never had a New Jersey bagel, you have to! I recommend going to O’Bagel (but other N.J. bagel shops will work). I personally suggest getting a bacon, egg, and cheese on a plain bagel on a Sunday morning.
Khalid. Khalid is my favorite artist of all time. Yes, I know that’s a bold statement considering I didn’t even know who he was a year ago. But I’m telling you, he has changed my life. I have listened to his album “American Teen” nonstop since he came out with it.
New York City. I could spend a whole day in the Met looking at art or in Chelsea gallery hopping. Other days I love going to SoHo and shopping with friends. During the holidays, Broadway and Rockefeller are my go-to stops.
“My People.” This includes my friends and family. For me, weekends at home wouldn’t be the same without my parents blasting music through the speakers, my brother making a new recipe or my other brothers playing on their computer together. I can’t imagine not having sushi and movie nights with my friends or brunch on weekend mornings.
Joanie Castiello (COL ’20)
Top 5 Spreads of All Time (In Order from Greatest to Least Great)
(Crunchy) Peanut Butter
(Perfect Pita Roasted Red Pepper) Hummus
Isabel Roemer (NHS ’21)
Top 5 Things About Being a Freshman at Georgetown
NSO. There’s nothing better than bearing witness to uncomfortable flirtations between awkward and sexually confused 18 year olds. From Convocation to Pluralism in Action, your orientation group has your back—until you promptly begin avoiding eye contact the day after NSO ends. But fear not, the awkwardness pays off with the infamous NSO pregame a couple of weeks later. There are things to look forward to!!!
Club Lau. What better way to introduce yourself to those ~intimidating~ upperclassmen than by getting your groove on at a communal library jam sesh?? No jokes here, I literally danced so hard that water was dripping out of my ponytail by the end of the night. What a unique intro course on how to keep off the freshman fifteen!
#Cawledge #Lyfe. Two days into the semester. I am strutting around campus like the independent college woman that I am. What’s that? Only one class on Mondays AND Wednesdays? Whatever shall I do with my time?? What’s that? Eating Cheez-Its out of a mug and watching celebrity closet tours is not socially acceptable? I guess I’ll just find some club applications to keep myself busy!
Ballin’ on a budget. Only college students can be simultaneously cheap as hell and totally irresponsible with their finances. No, I am not willing to do laundry in the two weeks before it’s free, and again, no, there’s no way I can pass up getting $12 Korean barbecue at the farmer’s market. There’s no compromising here.
New South pregames. Infamous. Unprecedented. So many adjectives I could use to describe these glorious soirées held by the most impressive, confident, sink-owning members of the freshman class. But watch out–if you party too hardy the RA might get wind of your rager and, in a fit of jealousy, snap pictures of you and your best buddies’ GOCards. Will you or won’t you get community service? A question you can agonize over with Shakespearean angst for the rest of the semester.
Elizabeth Park (COL ’21)
Top 5 Guilty Pleasures
Pretending the rest of the world doesn’t exist while singing: More like yelling/screaming at the top of your lungs to the Spice Girl’s hit song, “Wannabe” — of course acting like the guitarist, drummer and lead singer is highly encouraged.
Planning on making cookies and then just eating the raw cookie dough: Don’t worry, I make the batter without eggs; salmonella doesn’t exactly seem like the most pleasant thing.
Binge-watching all the “High School Musical” movies: (C’mon, I know guys like those too. I’ve seen them secretly jamming out to the soundtrack before.)
Watching Dr. Pimple Popper videos: Okay, I know that these are disgusting. I keep asking myself, “Why do you click on it when you know you’re going to end up cringing from disgust?” But even so, I somehow always end up watching another one.
Eating a Hot Pocket at 2:30 in the morning: Really, eating any sort of microwaveable food that requires the least amount of brain cells to make is great at 2:30 a.m.
We can’t wait to see what our new bloggers will bring this semester and beyond!
Ahh, senior year is finally here! While for many this involves dreaded words like “employment” and “graduation,” there is a very easy way to forget all of this: The Tombs. From the great deals on draft, to its charming atmosphere, there’s no question why The Tombs is one of Georgetown students’ favorite places to share stories pitchers.
However, only the the most successful of seniors really knows ~everything~ there is to know about this restaurant. Do you have what it takes to be crowned a trivia master? Check out 4E’s latest quiz to determine whether you’ve forgotten everything from your late nights at our favorite spot, or you’ve got a memory strong enough to power you through one last year of cramming for your last history requirement you somehow pushed off until senior year:
So you’re a freshman, huh? Big fish in a little pond? Think again, young Hoya.
Being a freshman at Georgetown isn’t always the easiest. On a campus where your worth is sometimes measured by GPA and the clubs you are or aren’t a part of, you may sometimes have trouble keeping your head above water.
Lucky for you, though: The Fourth Edition is here to help! We’ve compiled a list of the ~best~ tips to help you avoid looking like that typical lanyard-wearing freshman on campus. Take a look:
Don’t wear your lanyard. If you’re able to make it to Georgetown, this hopefully goes without saying. It’s totally OK to have your key on your lanyard in your pocket, but please don’t wear it around your neck. I wouldn’t be saying this if I didn’t actually see it.
Ask “Who do YOU know here?” This just may be the most common saying at Georgetown. Essentially, its 10:34 p.m. on a Friday night, and after cramming into New South 215 for a pregame of epic proportions, you and your freshman squad roll up to a Village A apartment that seems like its pretty awesome. Unfortunately, you can’t seem to locate the friend-of-a-friend’s-brother that said he would let you in to the party, so you get asked “Who do you know here?” Turn it around and ask the question back to them. It’s never been done. If that doesn’t get you in, just give up.
Know your memes. If you want to really learn about something, textbooks just don’t cut it. Knowing the memes are necessary. This means joining Georgetown’s one-and-only meme page on Facebook. Don’t have a Facebook? Don’t even. Take a look at an one of the page’s more notable posts:
Know the terminology. Memes aren’t enough, since Georgetown has its own lingo. If you learn it early, you should have no problem navigating around campus. You’ll even increase your chances of getting into a party and may not get lost in the ICC coming from HFSC after when you’re studying for a BSFS in IPEC in the SFS! If all of these acronyms are foreign to you, for a not-so-complete list of some of the key terms you should use flashcards to memorize before the fall semester arrives, check here.
Do get lost in the ICC. It may sound strange, but this is sort of a tradition, so much so that even as a senior having had a class every semester but one in the ICC, I still manage to turn the wrong way or get lost in this perplexing building every time I (attempt) to enter or exit, and I can confidently say I am not alone. Getting lost in the ICC is a tradition Georgetown students celebrate from the moment they get on campus till the day they graduate, so why not start early?
Sit by yourself in Leo’s. As an upperclassman, I can say that there is nothing worse than the food at when our beloved dining hall is clogged with swarms of freshmen taking up every chair so the entire floor can eat together. You probably won’t end up talking to any of these people anyways in just a few short weeks, so why don’t you try something new, and sit by yourself? Upperclassman won’t be able to immediately identify you as part of that flock of freshman from VCW 6.
Do not stand in front of Village A rooftops between the hours of 9 p.m. and 11 p.m. on Thursday through Saturday. Perhaps the most identifiable freshman breeding ground, this locale is nothing but trouble for any upperclassman that happens to pass through. My memory of this area is characterized by several things: salmon shorts, GUPD, vomit, squashed cans of Natural Light and swarms of awkward freshman. Don’t associate yourself with this memory. Stand elsewhere when you’re looking for something to do.
Don’t sit on the statue. Georgetown was founded to honor Leo O’Donovan with a waterfront restaurant for the pursuit of knowledge, not the pursuit of your Snapchat stories. The lighting is never just right for a photo on old John Carroll’s lap, so don’t even waste your time. Plus, getting up there is harder than it looks, so especially in the wee hours of the night, it is just never a good idea.
Granted, these tips won’t work for everyone. On a more serious note, if you’re still struggling with something, chances are, there is someone to help you with that! Take a look at some of the resources Georgetown has to offer.
Catch 4E’s latest student tips in next week’s edition of 4E Declassified Freshman Survival Guide!
Quick Pita died and has risen again in a new and improved form. While no Georgetown establishment will ever truly take its place, Quick Pita’s successor, Falafel Inc., sure does justice to our need for a delicious and frugal late-night spot. 4E went full Guy Fieri mode to give you a rundown of what you need to know about this new spot.
Here’s a quick guide to everything you care about:
Prices: 10/10. You’d be hard-pressed to find a cheaper, more filling meal. There are plenty of bougie options in Georgetown, but this isn’t one of them. The price for the value is the best around. Both the main selections (falafel bowls and sandwiches for $4 each) and the sides ($3 each) are well-priced.
Food (Variety): 8/10. While there aren’t many options on the menu, you can easily customize your order with the plethora of add-ins that are traditionally included for free (such as cabbage slaw, tomatoes, etc.). They also have some Middle Eastern specialties you’d have difficulty finding easily elsewhere, such as Barbican, a non-alcoholic fruit and malt soda.
Food (Taste): 9.5/10. Definitely blows any other falafel I’ve ever had in D.C. out of the water. While a falafel sandwich is a pretty basic concept, Falafel Inc.’s execution is pretty close to flawless, and they put a unique blend of toppings that make the mundane falafel sandwich tasty and exciting.
Food (Sauces): 9.5/10. There is just something spectacular about being able to smother a falafel in their garlicky habibi sauce. I don’t know what’s in it, and they probably wouldn’t tell me if I asked, but make sure to try this out (and all of the others, which are equally tasty) when you go.
Ambience: 8/10. The inside of this place harkens to a refugee camp, and for good reason. The dimly lit, plywood walls truly create a unique atmosphere directly emulating the falafel shops in refugee camps. The only thing that would make it better would be more seating, but the lack thereof gives it a more authentic feel.
Staff: 9/10. Very friendly people who work hard to get the food out quickly and correctly. It’s just hard not to think back to Quick Pita’s staff and wonder what ever happened to Sammy.
Hours: 5.5/10. This is probably the only let-down, though the hours aren’t truly bad by any means. We’ve all been itn dire need of a piping hot pita around the wee hours of the night, and unfortunately Falafel Inc. closes at 11pm, making it a great lunch and dinner spot, but not so much a late-night post-game spot.
Bonus: +0.5 for being FTR (For the Refugees). For every $10 spent, the shop feeds a refugee for a day by donating part of its revenue to the World Food Programme, so you can feel even better about having tahini drip down your face as you stuff yourself with falafel.
Final Rating: 9/10
While we all dearly miss Quick Pita, Falafel Inc. is more than worth a try (or several).
Step off of the Hilltop and outside of the Georgetown Bubble, and you will find many things to learn, do and see. The decision to “study” abroad was undoubtedly one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. Even so, the Hilltop certainly had me homesick: Georgetown has so many incredible things to offer; from expert faculty to your first New South pregame.
One of the strange parts about being abroad was learning about Georgetown. In fact, there are many things about my home university that I only realized after going to Milan. Some were good things, and others, not so much…
We all like to poke fun at and react excessively to the swarms of students smoking outside of Lau. Emerging from Lau, you may find yourself in a situation like this:Instead, the EXACT depiction of what students do in Europe is below. They are the real smokers: they don’t just do it to look cool, but they actually like cigarettes. Get ready for secondhand smoke.In reality, we don’t have much to complain about as non-smokers at Georgetown, since it seems most smokers here don’t fall into the latter category. We are nowhere near as threatened by secondhand smoke at Georgetown as we complain we are.
Our coffee on campus is TERRIBLE. Paying at minimum $3.00 for burnt and stale coffee is not ever justifiable. I don’t even know if stale is an appropriate way to describe coffee, but I shouldn’t have to wonder. Case in point: my abroad university in Italy had vending machines that made better coffee than our campus baristas. Just another thing that machines do better. Since caffeine is such an important part of the student experience in college, its time to up our game.
We need to give more credit to how beautiful and put-together our campus is. Campuses in the states are exceptional; from the manicured lawns, to the behind-the-scenes campus planning, to the sense of ownership the students take, it’s hard to not appreciate how much we’ve got. Instead, even my (nice and relatively expensive) Italian university had graffiti and was not managed nearly as well as Georgetown. Construction definitely gets old on campus, but it’s always for the better (except maybe the Thompson Center and the architectural disaster that is Lau).
You’re much more likely to feel supported at Georgetown than anywhere else. While we like to complain about stress and sub-par faculty at many points in our academic careers, try having a class whose syllabus doesn’t even tell you who your teacher is or where your class meets. At least we have capable (i.e. non-tenured) faculty that know what they’re doing. I complain about preregistration results as much as the next person, but try having not one, but two of your classes cancelled for good two weeks into the semester. How do students at a university that does that function (answer: they don’t)?
WE HAVE SO MUCH MORE WORK. European academics are in fact whack. In all cases, I had just one assignment for each one of my classes: an oral final exam. At Georgetown, we have countless tests, multiple midterms, homework, essays, group projects (the list goes on).
The moral of the story is that Georgetown is perhaps harder than it really needs to be.
Our campus and neighborhood is even less lit than we realize. Doesn’t need much explanation.
We were beginning to think change was impossible. That was, of course, until it happened yesterday. Coach John Thompson III was not able to answer the question “Who Do You Know Here?” and was denied entrance at the door to another season at the helm of Georgetown basketball.
While the announcement was certainly shocking, if completely justified, it was more than just someone getting fired. This means that change is possible at Georgetown. Let’s ride the wave and get rid of the people at Georgetown responsible for other grave injustices:
FIRE the person in charge of sending GUPD updates. What ever happened to the emails about drunk people waking up in the wrong bed and punching someone? Then there was the time when someone was kidnapped and we didn’t even hear about it. Change is needed.
FIRE SNAPS. Do you have nothing better to do on a Friday night than break up a party that probably wasn’t good in the first place? Our tuition dollars are literally being spent to reduce the party scene.
FIRE the architect of Lau. This is probably somewhat irrelevant, but just as a preventative measure, his or her professional license should be confiscated. Our skyline would have been so perfect if it weren’t for a building that is as soul-sucking as it looks.
FIRE the people who don’t pick up their omelets. All we can ask for at a Leo’s dining ~experience~ is to be lucky enough not to see a mouse and a timely produced omelet. Nobody likes long lines. Help make this a reality.
FIRE the founder of Instructional Continuity. Who in John Carroll’s name ever signed off that this was a good idea? I dare the administration to put out a survey about students’ and teachers’ satisfaction around this perversion of the education system.
FIRE professors that don’t round grades up. It’s not even about common courtesies; it’s about properly representing numbers. One rounds 8.6 to 9.0 so why isn’t an 86 an A-?
FIRE Saxanet. If I lose my progress while working on something one mor..
As winter break thaws out, Big East conference play is just starting to heat up. While we’ve probably all watched at least one Georgetown Basketball game in our lives, I’m sure we all have had different feelings surrounding those games: frustration, excitement, dread when you realize you left your GoCard at the Verizon Center, and even despair. For some, the games are merely an opportunity to watch some basketball, and for others, the games are an opportunity to cheer drink away the Sunday Scaries on a Saturday morning.
In any case, Georgetown certainly has some interesting fans. In fact, there are many stereotypes for the typical Georgetown game attendees one might run into at the Verizon Center. Here are some of 4E’s favorites:
The Instagram enthusiast. They enjoy a nice outing once a semester downtown to the Verizon Center, where they are sure to get a decent amount of likes off of posting a pic of themselves and their freshmen roommates having SO much fun at the game. They probably don’t even know what the players’ names are, but that doesn’t bother them. They aren’t sure why Georgetown switched baskets halfway through the game and are likely to put Jack skateboarding on their snap stories. They may even post a finsta of how #turnt they got if we’re lucky enough.
The ones who still believe in JT3. Don’t trust them. They like to be let down. They will probably lose in many respects in life. They are probably disillusioned with being a Georgetown student, so you won’t likely find this person in the student section. They always buy season tickets, and would rather hold the ticket for a game they can’t attend rather than sell it off to a petty “Down-with-JT3” cheering fan. If it’s possible to blow a lead in life, they will do it.
The fans who have an obsession with cutout heads. While basketball is exciting and all, these are the people who merely go to the game to wave around a piece of cardboard. No, they aren’t just looking for attention, but in addition, an opportunity to escape their real lives, and become the Pope/John Thompson/Bradley Cooper/etc. They will risk their lives to get the cutout of their choice and probably have a hearty secret collection of cutouts.
The serial dancers. We have plenty of dance groups on campus, but these fans aren’t interested in group-sponsored theatrics. Instead, they will be heavily featured on the big screen for their less-than-stellar fantastic moves. It’s not hard to be featured when you’re the only one in the arena moving and shaking, but they will tout their big screen appearances to no end and will perhaps even consider putting it on their resumes. They are huge fans of the student section and will try to conduct the attention of all students in said section.
The avid basketball fan. There isn’t anything more exciting (frustrating?) for these people than watching some great (frustrating?) Georgetown basketball. They wish they were attending the school back in the ’84-’85 season and have memorized so many stats that they have no room left in their brains to study for that philosophy final. They think about the cost-benefit analysis and the prospect of the team’s success in the upcoming season before buying season tickets. They wouldn’t miss a game — even though they often turn them off and cry into a pillow at halftime.